Sex Unlocked: Does Sex Get Better with Age? with Joan Vassos & Susan Noles

Let's talk about sex, baby. Hello, sexies. It is Lala Kent and my co-host, Sally Garson. Two sexy ladies who are all about speaking their minds, talking about sex, because sex never fucking ages, my loves. Let me tell you what. We need it. We want it. We need to talk about it. I have Joan Vasos and Susan Knowles, welcome, gorgeous.

Thank you.

Thank you for having us. No wonder you're excited. Sex excites you.

Yes.

It should be exciting.

Well, if it doesn't, it should.

Yes.

Right? It should be an exciting subject. Yes.

Like, the moment anybody gets, like, They like retreat when it comes to sex talk. I'm like, we're not going to get along because it's just a part of like women's health. So maybe that is more stomachable when I tell you it's a part of women's health.

It's a necessity.

It is. And I feel like you always need it.

You do. Right?

I've never understood like asexual people.

I mean, like, I know it's a thing.

It is a thing.

Yeah, I think they have, like, lack of hormone or something that, like, a chemical that's supposed to, like, generate that feeling they don't have or something. I don't get it either. Because it's also just about, like, you know, orgasm. It's about, like, closeness and touching and, like, connection.

Intimacy.

And they're missing that. And that's, like, a big thing to miss. Can you imagine having life without all of that?

No, I can't because I have gone through periods of time where I'm like, I'm in my head and I literally have taken like massive breaks from intimacy. And then I ripped the bandaid off and then I turn into a big hoe.

And then it's go time.

I relate to that so much. I do the same thing. I'm like, and then once you like unlock it once, I'm like, I need it every day.

What was I doing?

Yeah.

I got to make up.

They could just kiss us. I wouldn't need a man.

You just knew how to kiss, right? It starts.

And I was talking to a sex therapist on another podcast that I have. And he was talking about how foreplay starts before the physical touch even happens.

Oh, I totally agree. Yeah, it does.

Right. Yeah.

Some men do not get it.

Just like the little playfulness, like let's say, you know, the tease in the morning, like maybe a little grab of the ass.

Even like the talk, like the banter, like the flirting, like the little like, oh, you look good, like whatever. Like it can be the littlest things that can be like, oh, this is going to be a good day.

It's going to be a good day. So you both were on The Golden Bachelor. Same season?

Yeah. Yeah.

That's how we met. Yeah. The first season. The first season. We were in the same limo.

Oh, my gosh.

So you're in Llewyn Luth with other people, and they kind of become your buds. Second to last and last to get out. Yeah, the last two to get out of the limo.

We didn't see any other people do their thing.

Wow.

Oh, and you guys have such a cute bond now. I know.

I can tell why you two are friends.

We do.

I know. I know. Well, she's like the most outgoing person in the world. And I was so nervous when I went on the show that I was going to embarrass myself. I was like, I weighed like a hundred pounds. And I was so nervous that I like stayed in the background for, I was only there for a week. I self-eliminated, but I stayed in the background for so long.

And you were like out there, you were on air. She got so much time. And you were just being you, but like, I'm like, I want to be her, but I can't be because I'm just shy.

Okay so you are more of the shy one and it's got to be so intimidating to be in a group full of women who are all i guess the goal is to get the attention of one man do you say his name gary or jerry gary it's.

Gary yeah it is it's spelled like jerry but it's not it's gary it's gary.

Were you guys attract when you first saw him were you attracted to him.

I thought he had great eyes. He was a nice height.

I didn't think I was going to be. So we saw him on TV when he was announced. So I actually was like, I don't think I'm going to do this. He looks old for me. He was, I was the youngest on the show and he was like 12 years older than me. And I thought he's too old for me. And, but I, but then I kind of talked myself into it.

I was like, I should give it a chance. And this is like a really cool experience. And when I got on the limo and walked up to him, I was like, okay, he's pretty handsome. He actually is good looking. He's very tall. I think he's handsome.

He's in good shape.

To get to know him. Like really pretty eyes. He's very kind. He's very easy to talk to. I mean, you know, like you could have worked up an attraction to him, I think. You could have worked up an attraction.

Now, how is his personality?

It's very hard to really get to know somebody on the show because you're like, there's cameras everywhere and people aren't being 100% themselves. I am still very good friends with him. Like I still speak to him. So we are friends.

Yeah.

I don't think he, I mean, I knew he wasn't my guy, but like just, you know, there were, There was no red flags. He wasn't like a nice person. He was very, very kind. He did a very good job of being the first ever Golden Bachelor and like kind of navigating that world. He was the first ever. And he did a really good job of doing it.

I mean, and he found love. It just didn't last. No offense to.

A Midwesterner, but he is a Midwesterner.

And being from the East Coast, we like strong characters. Right.

Midwestern people are a little more subdued. Yeah. We like a little swagger.

Oh, swagger is such a fucking panty dropper.

Oh, my God.

Are you joking?

Isn't that right? Oh, my God.

I mean, even like perversion and arrogance is okay.

Yeah.

I'm okay.

To a point.

It's true. But cross the line and you're narcissistic.

Or you're an asshole.

Yeah.

You turn to an asshole.

And it's a fine line.

It is a fine line. And you don't realize that it's not swagger and it's narcissism.

Yeah.

After you have a baby with a person. Until it's too late. Until it's too late. Sounds familiar.

You know, someone just recently made this statement to me. At my age looking, if you pick a seven or up, you've already lost the battle.

No. Really? And it made some sense to me.

Because I was always after the eye kid. Who attracts me?

Totally.

First thing I see is your look and your shape or your, you know.

Yeah.

But it's true.

I met so many people in my life that I didn't date, but I would have never looked at them, and they had the best personality.

They made me laugh.

And after sitting with them for such an amount of time, I thought, I.

Could actually date this guy.

I agree.

And he's nothing like my visual type. I need banter. The weirdest quality is I need somebody who's quick. If you could see.

The last three guys in my life, you would be from the outside. Yeah.

You'd be like, what the fuck? Then you're smarter than I, right? But that's not reality. You're smarter because you went with... Well, they all were still assholes, but.

See, but that's the hard thing is I, with my ex who I have a baby with, I was drunk the whole time.

In your own defense.

You look at him and you're like. What are you doing? And I'm like, but he's nice. And he turned out to be the worst. So now I'm like, no, no, no. Now you better be stepping in here with the biggest dick I've ever seen. You better be hung like an elephant.

It needs to work.

It's got to work.

It needs to work.

6'3, smooth skin, pretty eyes, like the whole thing. I've done enough charity fucking in my life.

I love a short king.

I love a short king because they have confidence. The best sex I've ever had has always been with a short king.

Is that right? Really?

I've had a couple tall men in my life and it just was not doing it for me.

Not your thing. So you like shorter, not great looking guys.

Yeah.

You just made the day of about two million men. You are going to be so busy, girl. That's right. You're going to have to hire somebody. They got to have a good personality. That is so great. But they always have the biggest dicks, too.

The Short Kings?

Yes.

Where the fuck am I?

I'm not saying you're the short man, but I might just open that chapter.

How tall are you?

I've shrunk.

Y'all are missing out. I'm just about 5'6 now. I was a lot taller.

See, I feel like.

But then you put a shoe on. That's what I'm saying.

You look taller than.

Me for some reason.

You look taller because I'm taller than you and I always think you're taller than me.

You walk in with this energy of... But you and I were bonding over the fact that you and I both have big dick energy.

Yes.

And I seem to attract these men who... It's hard for me with them to tap into my female energy. does this ever well you just want to control.

It you want to fix it you want to that's that's a serious thing because it is serious so madison lacroix was the same way and she was like i didn't even know that i had this like big feminine side of me that i could let go of when i found my person and when she found bread yeah she was.

Like i was able to be like Girlie. Girlie and feminine. And I didn't have to worry about stuff. And I used to always be the man in relationships.

Until I opened my mouth.

I feel that so much because I've always wanted control. And I want to be the one making the decisions. I want to be the man. You know?

Yes.

And I think it hurts. Me in the end.

When I come back, I'm coming back with a big dick and attitude.

You're not done with life? There's more to learn for you.

My next life. Your next life. You're in early stages of development. I'm telling you. I don't know if I have big dick energy, but I think that they, like as you age, and you'll get this, like you get a self-confidence that like even you might have the big dick, they just, you don't show it as much because you, so the feminine side comes out a little bit more, but- Like self-confidence is a big. um key word is self-confidence it is it really is so big dick energy sometimes it's like i'm just sometimes like it's what i want to be so like a lot of men try to look like they have big dick energy and they really don't yeah eventually you'll figure it out like confidence is like a guy that's accomplished some things and lived a

little bit of life and actually maybe has had some adversity, those are the guys you should look for. Those are the ones that have big dick energy that they deserve, not that they're pretending.

Right, like they have the grit that comes from experience.

Mm-hmm.

I relate to that. And the thing that I love about this conversation is, do you mind me asking your guys' age?

Yeah, I don't mind at all. 69, baby.

You look fucking crazy. Isn't she crazy?

This is the year. It's got to happen this year. It's all changed, though. When I was young, I thought 60, oh, they're old.

It's not like that anymore.

We've got to have a big birthday party for you.

And how old are you?

63.

You guys look amazing. And I don't mean that when you tell someone your age and they're like, you look amazing. It's like, well, should I look like shit? No, that's not what I mean. But I feel like.

Compared to most 69-year-olds or 63-year-olds. Right.

And depending on where you are, you know? And some people, they're like, you know, I just don't really care who am I trying to impress. I... I want to impress.

I impress my mirror.

I want to look good.

I want to feel good before I do anything.

Yeah.

You're speaking.

Exactly.

Yeah. It's about me. I don't care what you guys think. Well, I do care what you two think because you're so pretty.

But it's for you. I know.

It's for me. And it's maybe for other women. We like to see, what are you wearing? What kind of makeup are you using?

Totally.

And a stranger. I'll go up to somebody and say, Perfect outfit. You do that so, she's so nice about that.

That makes someone's day.

They do. You were saying that to me when you kept going up to people, like we were looking at cowboy hats last night at Bottle Rock, and she kept going up to people that had cowboy hats that she liked. She's like, you look so good in that hat. She's so nice about it. Complimenting people. I say what I think.

And compliments coming from a woman to a woman.

Yeah.

And a stranger. Like they saw you from like in the crowd. Yes.

I said it to a man too.

Yeah.

I bet you did.

I mean, he looked good in that hat.

He should know.

That was made for you. He should know.

It's not flirting.

It's not. There's no motive behind it.

Right.

I speak it. It's funny because we get such like negative energy in our DMs and our social media.

Yeah.

And when somebody says something nice to me in social media, I always like, you made my day. Thank you so much. Because like I had like 12 before you told me like my shirt, like my skirt was too short and like you have too much Botox and like your hair, your extensions are bad. Radio music festival.

We both had short something on and.

We had the cutest outfits on.

They're the angry ones that can't wear the shorts.

They can. I mean, we had these cute little like rompers on and I had toes and They were so cute. I'm going to show it to you in my pictures. Yes, we looked good. It was adorable.

I'm looking, baby.

And they were so mean to us.

They were very mean.

That's insane. And that's the hard thing, though, is that we talk about... No matter what age, being a woman is so freaking hard.

So hard.

We're the strongest human beings on earth.

But we also, and by the way, I'm guilty of this, of tearing each other down to the fucking studs.

Or yourself.

Oh, by the way, we were just talking about this.

We're the worst enemy. Me too.

It's awful.

Like by the time I've gone through the self-loathing period, which happens like every other month, usually during my period. Right. I'm like, I feel like I have been beaten up. So I can't even look at the comment section because I just can't add to it.

I know.

There's sometimes like I end up like, I just crawl in bed and like, I can't do a whole day. I'm like, I just can't do today.

Just call it.

Menopause. Yeah.

Things change. That was our message, especially mine coming off that show.

Women over 60, it's not over. Not everybody's going to end up on TV, but you have lived a life.

You've raised your kids. You've had ups, downs, heartbreaks. That's who made up who we are. And at this point, I don't care.

You do you, babe.

I don't care.

You want to have trash to say about me or somebody I love, I'm going to speak right back at you.

You're so good at that.

Yeah.

I don't like people offending, and even strangers.

What's your sign? Be kind, be kind.

Pisces.

Oh, I love a Pisces.

You're nice.

You're so nice. What's your sign? Capricorn. Capricorn. I love a Capricorn.

I don't know anything about signs.

I don't either.

I know a lot.

What are you guys?

I'm a Virgo.

I'm an Aquarius.

Oh, you're my kid. Oh, so you're a February?

Yeah, February.

January.

End of January.

Yeah. Yeah.

Does the flirting change as time goes on?

Oh, maybe a lack of.

Is it a different?

Yeah, they're not good at it.

Really?

And I love flirting. I love a guy flirting back. You also flirt in the same way that you used to. With who? Anybody.

That's what I'm saying.

That's the problem.

It's the men.

The men are the problem.

They suck.

There's nobody out there.

They suck.

They don't know how to flirt. They don't know how to flirt. And they don't care about it. They're like tired or something. I don't know. Tired?

And I make people laugh like the young guys. Too young to date. If you're younger than my kids, there's nothing to do with that. So let's talk about that.

I go younger.

What is the age range? Lowest to oldest?

55.

55 is the youngest. The youngest.

Yeah.

55.

I'd do 53 if it was really good.

The right thing.

Yeah. I want to be able to have things in common like music. Okay.

That we both like the same. When you do two... much space and age.

Right.

You don't relate to the same things. Totally. And I'm not here to teach anybody.

No.

Yeah. I don't think mine's like a necessary number. I think it's more of like where you are in your life. Like, I don't want to raise anybody else's kids. I have four of my own. I have grandkids.

I don't want to.

Raise your kids. So if you have a 12-year-old, I mean, there's... 55-year-old guys that have 12-year-olds.

I know. Because they're out here just freaking shooting sperm every which way.

I mean, it's insane.

Wrap it up, buddy!

I mean, the guys need to wrap it up. The guys need to.

Wrap it up.

And they all want kids, and they're all.

Old.

They're old. They're fucking old. Yeah, and I don't want men our age looking at you.

But if a woman goes with a younger man, there's so much to be said.

I know.

That part I have a really big freaking problem with.

Do you?

Yes.

I have a really big freaking problem with the women. In my comment section, when I talk about I'm hanging out or sleeping with a 25-year-old, oh, 10 years. And then they also, on the flip side, give me shit for dating 20 years older and having a baby.

Don't project that onto him.

He's a fucking weirdo.

Right?

Not me.

But I do have a problem with that. So yours is about energy. You got to have the vibe.

You got to get a good vibe. And I don't want to raise your kids.

And I don't want to raise your kids. That's totally fair.

No, no. I did it. I've done it. I'm tired.

I'm tired. And you know what? That's what's so beautiful about this. stage of life and i i watched this with heather gay she's on real housewives of salt lake yes i know who she is and she had no she's amazing i love how she's unfiltered and she says the things that most people would go and everybody loves her right and she was like i'm thrilled that my kids are out of the house and this chapter is over and i can live my life and i was like you know what What a beautiful thing to be able to say.

Admit it.

It doesn't mean that you don't.

Love your children. It's not a bad thing. People look at it like a nice positive.

Did your job. They're off on their own. And I think you realize that when you become a mom. Because right now, I'm a single mother, but I'm also a single mother by choice. So my first baby, I had the old-fashioned way. Second baby, I wanted her so badly that I got a sperm donor.

But I'm in it.

Now where my dating life I can't have the one night stands. And by the way, that's not because I don't want to. It's just like, I can't.

You can't have a responsibility. There's babies that are waiting for you. And you don't want to teach them that that's okay.

Yes. They're young.

They're itty bitties.

They're itty bitties. But there's going to be a time. My oldest is five. My youngest is a year and a half. There will be a point in time where I'm like, I want to be able to say I did my job and they go off. And it's just so amazing that the both of you are absolutely out here being exactly who you are dating because you show that there's no timeline on finding your person, going out and dating.

This is the best time. I have to tell you, honestly, you come into this chapter and you have self-confidence because you've lived life. You've done shit. You guys have done stuff. Um, and, and you guys still have a ways to go, but you already have some good stuff under your belt. You've done like some brave stuff, right?

Excuse me, Jen. When we were their age, we weren't like that.

I know. I love that.

What were you guys doing?

The times were different.

I was having, I was having, in what way?

Like, how old are you? I'm sorry.

I'm 31. Okay.

I'm 35.

Mm-hmm.

In my 30s, I was just starting to be okay with who I was. I had kids, though, so I had four kids by the time I was 33.

Okay.

Wow. Four by 33.

Yeah.

Married?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So my husband died, so that's how I ended up single, not by divorce. Oh, I'm so sorry. Yeah, he had pancreatic cancer. So we worked together for 32 years. So we have a little bit of a different story. But she has an ex-husband, but they have a great relationship.

Amazing.

But you come through life, and you get some shit happen. So not even just losing a husband, just living. You're in trouble with your kids or with aging parents, all those things. You'll see all that. And you come into this with self-confidence, and you've done some stuff in your life, and you know who you are. and you have time, suddenly, because now you're not raising your kids. Um, you might have aging parents, but they're not full time. You're not trying, making sure they're fed or whatever. Um, and you have resources.

If you've done a good job, you have a little bit of money.

Totally.

And, or you have a lot of money if you've done a really good job and you get to do stuff like this. And if you have planned it right, you have the things you never had before. You have self-confidence, you have time and you have money.

Wow.

I love every single thing that you just said.

That's great. It's the truth.

And the younger generation should hear it now.

I think so, too.

And start living life. Don't go through life scared and conservative. I did that a little bit. I'm a born nerd. I was a computer science major in college, and I wrote code. So I was a born nerd, and it took me a long time to come out of my shell. Look at her now. Until I was like 60. Honestly, literally 60. That's great. And it has opened up so many doors. So don't wait so long. Don't do what I did. Anybody listening to this, don't be like what you think you are in your head. Be something different.

Like challenge yourself to do something like brave. Be scared. Be scared every day. Yeah. I like that.

I needed you to say everything that you just said, by the way.

Yeah, that was great.

I don't think you should be scared, though.

No. What do you be scared? I was. See, you are like a naturally extroverted.

Some people are scared to live out loud.

Yeah, I was. And just be themselves.

And like authentically themselves.

I just say, Ella, unfiltered, of course, unapologetically Susan.

Yeah.

But what I say, people are in shock, but they're thinking the same damn thing.

I know.

You just don't have the guts or balls to say it.

Right, the shocking part.

Trust me. Yeah, the shocking part.

Yeah.

Because you say shocking things.

I just let it all fly.

Right.

And I'm a closeted nerd.

I love that. Because I like, behind closed doors, I am gaming on my Xbox, talking to people on my headset.

You're like every man's fucking dream.

You are.

Short kings. Short kings. Come on, all the short kings.

Oh my God, who wants to play Xbox?

That outspoken then finds you intimidating. That's what it is.

Unapproachable.

Because you are softer and more quiet, you be approached a lot more than when you.

Get loud mouthed.

I know.

And then if you do talk to me, they're like, you're so easy to talk to.

But they know one wrong move and I'm off with your fucking head.

It's a thing in Charleston.

People are scared of me.

Apparently well I think it's weird in the south like you were saying you need someone who the midwest can't handle you east coast like I think the southern yeah because they've been taught that they got to be buttoned up right.

Exactly and I get you know someone said they were scared of me the other day and my best friend was sitting right there and she was like what are you scared of sally And he was like, well, I mean, just like, I don't know what's going to come.

Out of her mouth. And Riley was like, well, it's always going to be the truth.

You should be more concerned about what's going in your mouth.

You are the best person. You're the people I gravitate to because I'd rather just let you tell me what you think.

Yeah.

And then we'll move on. Exactly.

Oh, I know.

I'd rather be honest.

Yeah.

Very much. People who are shocked by it is not that, oh my gosh, I can't believe she would say that. It's like, I can't believe that she would say what all of us are thinking.

Out loud.

No one admits to that.

Nobody would admit to that.

Speaking of being unfiltered and not worried about what's coming out of your mouth or going into it. Can we talk about sex?

Sure.

Yeah, that's why we're here, aren't we?

Let's see if there's any differences.

Compare notes.

Right, exactly. Go-to sex position. Come on, Suze, I know you. I have four children.

Guys, turn your device off right now.

This is not for you.

You cannot hear what I'm about to hear, what your mother is about to say.

Tell me, tell me.

No, no, just in general. They don't want to hear any of this. You first. Me first? Yeah.

Well, it depends if other things are involved. Oh, are we a toy-like group?

If I have a womanizer doing the front, I like to be bent over.

Oh, hell yeah.

Hell yeah.

I like that. Taken from some areas in the back.

Yeah.

That's true.

Yes.

But only if that's involved.

Well, yeah, because we have the clit, which a lot of men don't understand.

But 69 might be my most favorite to.

Get things started. 69?

Yes.

You would think a man can like research or chat TVT the clit by now.

I mean, come on. The men, it's just not that hard to find. Like literally just look at a freaking picture.

I know, but they can't do two things at one time unless they're comfortable with another device. Like I've had people that are not comfortable. It was intimidating to them.

That's really a problem.

You can't do it all.

And the men who are like a vibrator, for me, I'm like, let me put it on your balls. You'll like it, I promise.

The lowest setting.

Just sit back.

Cover your eyes. You'll be all right.

You'll be okay.

Oh, my God.

Joan, you're not telling us your favorite position?

Because I'm so boring. I like a guy on top. You know, I.

Like a guy on top, too. It's one of my most favorite, but I like my legs over his shoulders.

Oh, I like that.

So fun. They kind of bend me in half like a taco. That's fun.

Or if they're standing.

And you're lying, and they hold your legs up. Oh, my.

Yeah. But you need the bed right.

You have to have the bed right. That's what I say.

Or be, like, on a table. My bed's really hot. Do you all think sex has gotten better? As you've gotten older?

Yeah.

Like, less, I'm less shy about stuff now. Like, I'm more likely to tell them what I like.

Oh, yeah.

As opposed to before I wasn't. I would be like, whatever.

Because you felt like it was, like, an insult if you were to tell them, like, that's not working.

Or, like, I felt like. Did you say move to the left? Yeah, like, yeah. You're not getting this.

Yeah, yeah.

Like, don't stop that or stop that.

You're wasting your time. Yeah. My center might be a little bit different.

It's hard to seek up during sex it is a little bit right yeah it gets easier it's.

A new partner but if you're comfortable in a relationship you.

But then you think oh did i wait too late to tell him so then because you're thinking you kind of have to do it a little bit all the time i know you don't like it this is yeah like when did you stop liking it or did you ever like it exactly yeah i know so you have to kind of say it a little earlier i do want to know what if.

Why do you look at me?

She's going to tell you.

She'll kick us off.

I need to know what a 6C or like a dick looks like.

Is it like the same?

Some of them are amazing. My last few were.

Wow. They look very, I mean, when they're hard, they look the same. That's true.

So it's just the same.

It's the same now. They don't get wrinklier.

They don't get old.

They don't get gray hair. Sometimes they don't work. Yeah, it's like it looks completely normal when they're hard. And they don't get up and go to the closet and get their bag of toys. Like, I love that guy.

Well, that's good news.

Yeah, it is, right? Hell yeah. I know, I know.

So the balls don't get weird?

No.

Uh-uh.

Everything looks the same. Apparently it doesn't age.

I don't know.

Everything else on you ages, but I think that dicks stay kind of the same. Balls don't age? I feel like balls would get wrinkly and weird.

They are wrinkly and weird. They're just wrinkly.

I'm like, whose balls?

We need short guys. Apparently they're not wrinkly and weird guys.

Wait, do you guys check out their hands or their feet?

I never do that. I don't think that's true.

It is true. In my life, it's been true.

In my experience, they had really small hands.

And really big dick?

Big dick. Tiny dick.

Okay, so you're proving it. I have to have a man with a big dick because I have really long fingers, so I can dwarf you pretty quickly.

Oh, seriously, you do?

Like the longest fingers. So if you're working with something average or low.

You're like poking yourself in the.

I'm like, I don't love this.

I get a black and blue.

There's nothing to go on.

I go like this.

Do you like your finger job okay i can't use all in oh this one's gnarly oh geez what is it spit or you're.

Saying that oh oh i know that's how full the load is i know sometimes sometimes it's foul i always spit okay you're a spitter oh.

Absolutely I'm a little bit of a gargler and a spitter.

Are you? Oh, you take it all in.

I used to swallow and then take a shot of vodka when I was a drinker. Yeah, I would do that.

In the bed? Like, you're going to get up, excuse me, let me go get my shot. See, I feel like you taste it all day.

If you're spitting it out, like, I feel like that gets like, you're trying to get.

It, like, I'm like, I'm taking it down. Yep. And just being done. Yeah. Get rid of it.

Yep.

Get rid of it. Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah. It depends on the vibe.

It's overload. It goes everywhere.

Like, and then it's... And then sometimes if I, like, really am not in the mood to, like, if I'm, like, nauseous or, like, I just really can't.

Because, you know, those days, like, sometimes I can't take a shot. Like, because I just... Something's weird. But.

I'll like make it him thing.

Right to the very edge. And then I'm like, do you want.

To finish on my face?

On my face.

On my back.

And then they get excited about it. And I'm like, I just stick them in my mouth. You know, I just do a washcloth. Trick you into thinking I was crazy. Good for your skin.

Yeah.

And they believed it.

Yeah, like a little moisturizer, maybe dry out a pencil. I've never done that. I don't know.

I mean, it really is interesting.

Good hint, though.

Thank you. You're teaching me stuff. I mean, they get like excited. Oh, I bet. And then in my head, I'm like, I just. I just totally manipulated you. And you see how we're talking right now, how fun, we're laughing. It's so fun.

Men, do they do this?

No.

Do they talk about it? I blew my load on her face.

Maybe.

Sick.

Yeah, their woman likes to be pleased. That's what they need to do. Compare notes and they'll get it.

Compare notes. And every vagina is different. Okay?

Yeah. And yet the same.

And some people have orgasm from intercourse.

I can't. I can't either.

That has to be clitoris.

100%.

A lot of people can have multiple orgasms just with intercourse with nothing else.

No, I got to have the work being done.

You got to be able to like somehow have six arms.

Well, which is why on top is better because sometimes they can get.

The top is the greatest because like you said, it's inside. The rubbing is happening.

Oh, see, I can do it on the outside.

Out.

I mean, underneath, too.

Like, on bottom.

Oh.

That's the guy that I came five times with in one night. I was on bottom.

For the majority of it.

That's a man who knows what he's doing.

That is a man. Absolutely.

He knew what he was doing. Because that has only happened to me. They should clone him.

They should clone him.

Yeah.

With the amount of men.

I've been with. Well, y'all do know who it is. Is that right?

No.

If we said his name, everyone would lose their fucking minds.

Okay, we won't.

But by the way, I've slept with a hefty amount of men. And I'm okay to say that. Like, I had my fun. So when I'm locked down, like, you know I'm not going to cheat because I've, like, been in these streets.

Yeah.

I have only had two dudes make me cum when I'm on bottom.

Two is like nothing. I have never experienced what I experienced.

Good for you.

Out of body experience.

I didn't know you could have multiples until I was in my 50s and after my marriage.

Oh, my God.

I was like, I could go all night.

The band-aid's been ripped off. The experience happens. What age did you lose your virginity?

16.

16?

Same.

19. Wow, okay.

I was a big nerd. I told you.

Yeah, but 19, that's still.

Yeah, I was in college.

Yeah, that's a great age. I was 17.

16.

If you told me you were like 25, I'd be like, oh, wow.

No, no, no.

What celeb do you think about when you masturbate?

Wow. I'm not telling. Do you all watch porn?

Great. Can you give us an age range?

You're not going to tell?

Doesn't matter the age.

You don't have to say it.

Really?

Women, they don't think of a man.

We just talked about it.

I think it's very sexual to think of a woman.

Oh, same.

You guys, this is a normal thing. I think when I masturbate, I have to watch lesbian porn or think of a woman.

I don't watch porn, but I talk to it. By myself.

Oh, yeah. You're like, right there, baby girl.

Yeah. Now you're going to do this. Oh, my God.

That's great.

My fans will never be the same. That's hilarious. We're going to die. That's hilarious.

I love leaving it on that note. You two were the most fantastic first guests I've ever had on any podcast ever. That I have. We will come back.

For every anniversary. Done. See you next year.

Look, even my hoop is jumping out.

That was a great day. We'd be dangerous together.

We're going out, just so you know.

Yeah, we need to.

All of us. All right, my loves. Thank you guys for listening to another episode of Sex Unlocked.

We'll catch you guys next week. Love you guys.

Thanks for listening.

Bye.

Sex Unlocked: Does Sex Get Better with Age? with Joan Vassos & Susan Noles

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