Sex Unlocked: She’s Not Ran Through, She’s My Friend

0:00 Let's talk about sex, baby. Hello, my little sex pots. Good morning. Good afternoon. Good night. It is Lala Kent. Welcome back to Sex Unlocked and Sally Carson. How we doing, soldier?

0:19 We're great. My mom's here. I just told her to put her headphones in because I was recording this.

0:24 She's at your house?

0:25 She's listening to a book. Everything's fine.

0:29 Okay, everything's fine. Thank God. I mean, I'm pretty open with my mom, but even I don't need her listening to this podcast.

0:38 Oh, I had to tell her last night. I was like, be my friend right now, not my mom. And she's like, okay. And I told her some stuff and she was like, I don't want to hear this. Things.

0:50 I don't want to talk about it. I was like, mom, you're my friend. Anything you could share on the pod with the friends?

0:55 Not yet.

0:55 Tell us who it has to do with. A man that we know that you've spoken about?

1:00 Well, wait, did I not tell you all this? Did I text the group?

1:04 You texted the group, but I have to be honest. I was like kind of MIA like all weekend.

1:10 So me and Ghost got into like a little bit of a argument.

1:16 Okay.

1:16 Like it was just like a little like tiff.

1:19 And he is across the country right now and working. And he, like the dog, I went to bed Saturday night.

1:29 This was Saturday night.

1:30 I go to bed and the dogs are going crazy at like 8 a.m. And I get out of my bed and I go downstairs and ghost is standing on my front porch.

1:39 He took a red eye. Like here. That's like really cute. And yeah. So some people are like, It's cute. And then other people are like, I don't know about that.

1:50 But, you know, Madison told me when her and Brad got in their first fight, like he showed up and she was, I mean, they're married now.

1:58 Yeah. Like it was a really big romantic gesture.

2:02 Yeah.

2:03 That's a very big romantic gesture.

2:05 Huge. Yeah. But it was nice having him here. But he could only stay for like 24 hours.

2:11 The only experience I have with a man who. Did things like that was my ex and he was like very toxic and like unhinged. And, you know, I thought in the moment, Oh, this is like a romantic gesture. But then I was like, after the fact thinking, Oh, this is like actually stalking, but that's okay.

2:31 I mean, I do think it was a, yeah. I mean, I do think it's romantic, but I think.

2:35 It's, I think it's romantic. I think let's just say every time you guys get into it, he just like appears at your door. Like we should like look into it. First fight, that's really cute. Plus, your guy's hot. I find that the ones that aren't as hot who do that, it's like kind of creepy.

2:52 He's so hot.

2:54 He's really hot.

2:55 He's so hot.

2:56 But I was just talking about this with him because we were just on the phone before I got on here. And I was like, anytime like anything's really good or there's a guy that's like treating me really well, I tend to sabotage and back away.

3:10 And he's like, I can feel that.

3:13 And I'm just like, you feel it happening with him.

3:15 Yeah. Yeah. He feels it.

3:19 He knows that he's like, I'm trying really hard here, but I feel like the more I put in, the more you pull away from me.

3:28 And it's, I don't know. It's sad. It's like something's wrong with me.

3:32 I don't think it's just you. I think actually a lot of, of girls do that. And I think it's because of the damage that like other men have left or You know, like the trauma and just things where our guard is up and we don't even realize it. I don't think it's just you.

3:52 He's like, I know you so well that I can feel you sabotaging this because you think that I'm.

3:58 Going to be the first one to hurt you. I'm like, well, you're spot on there, buddy.

4:03 Wait, you don't feel like you've ever been hurt deeply before like that?

4:06 Oh my God. Yeah. That's what I'm saying.

4:08 Like, I think I am scared that it's not going to work out. So like I tend to sabotage first.

4:15 Yeah. Yeah.

4:16 I had this conversation with Kristen Doty on the reunion for the Valley and we, I guess she was having a conversation with all of us, but I, I pinned it as like, I would, I want to hurt you before you get the chance to hurt me. Yeah. And then, In the end, it's like I'm still hurting anyway. So it's like, what is the fucking point?

4:39 Yeah, it's like you're hurting yourself instead of them hurting you.

4:43 I don't know.

4:44 Wait, so did your mom meet him? Oh, she did?

4:48 Yeah, he made us dinner. It was really sweet.

4:51 What did he make?

4:51 Like steak and potatoes and green beans.

4:54 Oh, you're eating good over there, girl.

4:56 Yeah, we were.

4:57 What does mama think of him?

4:59 I mean, mom's like. He loves you. Like, why can't you just let someone love you like this?

5:09 I feel like I've put a lot of thought into you and Austin, like more than I probably should.

5:13 Me too.

5:18 I don't know that that's the move. I think that might really fuck your world up. I don't know what you should do. Cause now with the ghost of it all, it was like there were all these red flags, but now he's kind of like shown up to the table with acting different, you know, like he texts you and stuff.

5:36 He's, he's, he's communicating more than I'm communicating with him. Like he's, he's doing everything right.

5:41 Yeah.

5:42 And I'm like the one that's pulling away. And like, he obviously has a right to worry about Austin. I mean, nothing's going on sexually with me and Austin.

5:51 No, but you woke up naked next to Austin. through that would be a huge like if my dude or someone I was seeing told me that he woke up naked next to his hot best friend who he had sex with one time I'd be like this is I do not I'm feeling very.

6:06 Unsafe yeah and I understand why he feels unsafe he yelled at me Saturday night we all went out to watch football and he like yelled at me he was I didn't know what he was yelling about like he just didn't make sense and he left me at the bar and then he texted me he was like come over.

6:21 Like I'm feeling distraught. So I like went over there.

6:27 I have to know, did he really use the word distraught? Yeah.

6:32 Come over. I'm distraught. I hate it. He said, my cats are even looking at me like your energy is off.

6:39 Was he high? He had to have been smoking weed or something.

6:42 No, we just took a lot of rumble mint shots.

6:45 What the fuck is that?

6:46 It was stuff that tastes like Listerine. That was like awesome. I hate rumble mints. rumple rumple mints it literally tastes like you are swallowing Listerine.

6:56 Is that like a southern thing.

6:58 Usually we do rumple mints and then chase it with chocolate.

7:02 Syrup y'all are weird out there y'all are weird I.

7:06 Put on my elf costume from the elf movie and I have my chocolate syrup in my hand and I am taking candy cane shots and squirting the chocolate in my mouth.

7:17 That's like Christmas was it a Christmas place No. What is going on? What is going on in the South?

7:27 I don't know.

7:27 Four inch wieners. Rumpelstiltskin shots and chocolate syrup in elf costume in September. The fuck?

7:37 Well, sometimes I dress up like elf in October.

7:40 Sally, you are so fucking weird.

7:48 I am fucking weird. I really, I.

7:52 Love a weirdo and you've got to be the weirdest of them all. Like between you doing the worm at random bars on the bar tops, riding bulls, and then telling me that you randomly dress up as an elf in September. What is happening?

8:07 October.

8:08 Listen, yeah, I'm definitely a fucking weirdo.

8:13 I love a weirdo though. Can I ask you, did you sleep with ghosts with like your mom in the house?

8:25 Yes. I could not sleep with them.

8:28 Would you shove a sock in your mouth to like make sure you didn't scream?

8:32 She sleeps with heavy white noise. I slept with Kyle in here with her in there. What?

8:39 What do you what do you do don't you live with your mother or doesn't your mother live with.

8:43 You yeah I fuck elsewhere or I put her in the back house I put her in a different house.

8:48 I probably should have done that but wait let me read this text from tell me what you think of this okay read it I texted Austin I was like you yelled at me at the bar and he said what Sally I can't handle football Saturdays that's why I got two TVs because he's like saying he gets too drugged And I was like, I'm not mad at you.

9:07 And then he said, I'm sorry. And then he said, also, I wanted to talk about last night. We're getting dangerously close to how we used to be before we had talks about defining our friendship. We're starting to toe the line again. And I don't want to fuck up our friendship.

9:20 And I'm like, same.

9:21 Like, and we haven't kissed or done anything, but we're like, he was like, we're getting back to where the guy that you liked didn't want to date you because of how.

9:30 Close we were.

9:31 Is he referring to himself?

9:32 I don't think so.

9:33 He's referring to I can't remember who he's referring to but like there has been guys in my life that are like you and Austin are too close like I can't handle that and like so me and Austin wouldn't hang out one-on-one but like we've gotten so close in our friendship again to where we're like hanging out one-on-one again nothing.

9:49 Happens well Sally something does happen because you end up naked in his bed.

9:55 That was one night.

9:57 One time too many though if you like if you here's what it reminds me of, but like more mature me and James Kennedy, it was like, we had, we had hooked up in the past, but we were like the best of friends. And It got anytime I would like hang out with anybody or like when I met my ex, it was like really uncomfortable for people because you just once you get comfortable like that and then you add alcohol, people end up sleeping with each other and you're already laying naked. Like what's the what's the difference between laying naked with him and just like putting it in? There's really no difference to me.

10:35 I mean, there's no difference.

10:38 And I feel like he's the type where he wants what he can't have. So the moment you're going to be all in, he's going to get scared. I think he scares easily.

10:46 He thinks that about me.

10:48 He's like, the second I show you attention and that I actually want you, you're going to go away.

10:52 I was like.

10:55 Do you feel like he's meaning that or is that an excuse?

10:57 It could be an excuse. Look, I don't know.

11:00 I mean, nothing's going to happen with me and Austin like anytime soon.

11:04 Or maybe not at all. I just love having him in my life as a friend.

11:08 When did Ghost leave?

11:09 Monday night. I dropped him off. Okay. Yeah.

11:12 Is it fair to say, I don't think you found your person yet.

11:15 Yeah, totally.

11:17 I just don't think you're there, babe.

11:19 That's what, you know, Madison tells me all the time. She's like, just date, just date. a lot of people and like let them know that you're dating around and that you're not like only dating them and then figure it out because i tend to do this thing where like i think i have a roster but then i hone in on one person.

11:34 Well yeah you always like one person more than the rest i mean that's how it is in like actual sports with the roster you have the roster but there's always one player who's better than everyone else yeah the star of the roster right you know he comes in And scores a touchdown every fucking time.

11:54 Every time.

11:55 Every time.

11:56 So yeah, I need to get better about that because I don't want to hurt anyone.

12:00 I wouldn't even worry about it. They don't worry about it. Why should we? So true.

12:04 It's so true.

12:05 It's so true.

12:07 True. I don't care.

12:10 I don't care at all. I've been obsessing over like having another baby for some reason.

12:15 Do it.

12:16 No, I don't. It's not the right time, but I like for sure thought I was done. And now I'm like on the hunt for my next baby daddy. I'm like, I don't give a fuck if you stay. Bye. Bye. Yeah.

12:28 Have three. Three is a great number.

12:31 Three is a great number.

12:32 I love three.

12:35 Are you one of three brothers and sisters?

12:39 Two sisters.

12:40 What is that dynamic like?

12:41 It's great. They're only two years older. So we went to school together.

12:43 Did you feel like one sister was like always left out?

12:47 Well, they're twins. But I was, they're surviving triplets. So my mom had triplets and one passed away at eight months.

12:57 Yeah. Oh my God. That is devastating for your mom. I know.

13:01 I know.

13:02 I can't imagine. And she was the first one to leave the hospital and everything. But, um, so now they're like called surviving triplets. So they're, they're twins, but, um, it was always me and one of them against the other one.

13:14 Growing up. Yeah, see, that's what freaks me out. Like, I feel like it would have to be a boy in order for the dynamic between Sosa and Ocean to not.

13:20 It's switched.

13:22 Oh, well, at least one always experiences the being left out.

13:27 It's good for you.

13:29 Now, I'm the one that's always left out now. And I'm okay with that. Because they're way more on, like, each other's wavelength.

13:37 Than I am. Yeah.

13:39 Well, they, like, shared a womb and everything.

13:41 Yeah.

13:42 And they're, like, in a different I mean, they are judging me for my podcast.

13:47 Oh, this one?

13:48 Yeah, that's where they're at.

13:51 Are they like married with kids and stuff?

13:53 Yes.

13:54 All right. Well, they're really going to love what people have written and asking us about because we're about to get down and dirty. This one is like, because we talk a lot about like sex toys and positions and all the things, but someone wanted to know sex against a wall. Is this supposed to be hot or is it not?

14:15 I think it's hot.

14:17 We've talked about this where like certain positions, like 69, it's like, well, that's one of those things where it's like supposed to, it sounds hot, but like it's not. If I'm outside, like wall sex.

14:29 Yeah. Recently, like when he picks me up, but like, he's kind of leaning on a wall, but like not really, not like really using the wall, but it's like there for support.

14:40 I like wall sex when I'm not at like in a house, like when you're somewhere where you're not supposed to be like in a bathroom.

14:48 Or an outside shower.

14:50 Exactly. But like just to start like fucking me against a wall, if I like have a bedroom and all the things like it can leave there.

14:58 Yeah.

14:59 I can like start at the wall, but let's not just like get it in on the wall.

15:04 I'm trying to think about what is my.

15:08 Back against the wall.

15:10 Yes.

15:11 You can use the wall in many ways.

15:13 You can use it in many ways.

15:15 Put your hands on the wall, bend over.

15:17 Oh, I'm suddenly a huge fan of the wall.

15:21 There's a lot you can do with the wall. That's so true. If I don't have a wall in the shower.

15:27 I'm falling. I'm falling on my face. It's slippery in there.

15:30 We love the wall. What?

15:35 I'm watching Game of Thrones right now and I love the episodes where the wall is involved.

15:41 I love Game of Thrones so much.

15:43 It's so good.

15:44 It's my favorite show for sure.

15:46 Kitchen counter sex. Is it cold, too hard and covered in crumbs? Are we wearing, are we cleaning the counter first? Are we eating off the counter again? That is so funny to me.

15:58 If I am cleaning the fucking counter before counter sex that counter sex is not happening this is spontaneous.

16:08 Sex yeah no one's like planning to have sex on the counter it's not like oh here's my Clorox wipes it means that we happen to be doing something in the kitchen and one of us gets turned on and it's just happening.

16:22 Exactly But also you can just use the, again, it's like the wall method.

16:27 You can use the counter so many different ways. You can just sit on it like a little bit with your little bum. Yeah. If the guy's tall enough.

16:39 Which.

16:40 Yours are.

16:41 Yeah. Well, so are yours. That's what's so weird to me is you told me like the average dick in Charleston is like four inches, but these guys are like six, five.

16:50 The only guys that are six, five are on the show. Like you walk into a bar and you can immediately like pick out the guys on Southern Charm compared to everyone else in the bar because everyone else is so much shorter.

17:05 That's like the prerequisite to get on Southern Charm. What's your height?

17:09 Lesser name's JT.

17:11 He was a little guy. He was a little guy. Where is he now? He lives somewhere like in another place, right?

17:20 How fun.

17:26 I'm also going to eat off the counter after. Because here's the thing, with sex for the most part, if I'm putting my mouth on a wiener or kissing someone who put his mouth on my cookie, I can certainly eat the food that is being served on the counter after.

17:43 Yeah, I'm not going to take the time to wipe it down.

17:45 No, me neither.

17:46 I also don't set my food directly on the counter.

17:50 Yeah, who wrote this? use plates typically use a plate bathtub sex does water somehow make everything less lubricated yes I know because water it like you need some sort of oil base.

18:09 Yeah I don't love the the key is to drain the water to where it's like a little bit lower than your privates.

18:22 I've done that bathtub sex for me is hard because you have to have like a, a nice size tub. It has to be built for like two people because even if the guy is laying like, you know, up against the back thing and you're on top, that's like, you've almost got to like sit on him and like you're on a toilet because you can't wrap your legs around.

18:46 Like my, my, the only bathtub I have in my house is like an old, you know, with a shower too. And I, yeah, I always end up like with my ex, I would take baths all the time and I would get on top of them like that. And then it would like hurt my knees so much.

19:02 I'm like, we got it. So then we always just end up on the bathroom floor on the mat, which I love that. They're all wet.

19:11 I was dating this guy so, so long ago, like college days for him, not me. I certainly didn't go to college, but he didn't, It was in Southern Utah and he didn't have, he didn't have his bed yet. So we just had like a thin, like not even a mattress, but like a thin thing.

19:35 Yeah.

19:36 I don't even know what to call it.

19:38 Like a little, like.

19:39 It was hardly, I don't even feel comfortable calling it a pad because we ended up going to Kmart. Have you heard of Kmart before?

19:46 Yes. I haven't heard about it in a long time. Right.

19:51 It was a really long time ago. And I got knee pads for me to be on top so that I wouldn't bruise and scuff my knees up on this like not pad.

20:01 You're into the trouble of getting knee pads. My knees are scraped up. I don't give a fuck about my knees.

20:07 No, it hurts. And I think from all of the years of me not giving a fuck about my knees, when I'm in the gym, I'm like an old woman. I'm like, Oh, I can't bend down on my knees. Like those bitches that like drop their asses to the floor and then like pick it up. I'm like, my knees would combust. Yeah. You can hear a little crack. Yeah.

20:32 Like a fucking old woman. Disgusting. Ooh, car sex. Have you done car sex?

20:39 I've done car sex when they're driving.

20:41 Oh girl, me too.

20:43 I love that shit. So unsafe.

20:45 So unsafe.

20:45 So unsafe.

20:46 And I don't mean like a little road head. I'm talking, I am sitting in your lap while you are driving the car.

20:53 And you're like, your necks are like, he's like watching the road and you're like.

20:57 You're on the other side.

20:58 Yeah. Oh.

21:03 That is so fun.

21:04 I love fun stuff like that.

21:07 But I, the first time I ever did that, I was in LA. Like that is scary. Have you been sitting on someone's lap with their dick in you on the 405 during rush hour? That is not safe. That's insane.

21:23 I think mine happened. Mine was on an interstate, but like, it was like in the middle of the night. We were like driving home from a Carolina game. which I'm doing this weekend.

21:34 That sounds so fun. There's nothing I love more than college, just football in general. My whole life, once football starts, revolves around it. Saturdays are always college, then Monday, obviously, Thursday, obviously, and Sunday, obviously.

21:54 I'm a big.

21:56 College girl over the NFL.

22:00 Why?

22:02 Um, I don't really have like a team in the NFL. I just kind of follow players from Carolina. Yeah. I'm just like a big Carolina girl. South Carolina. Don't get it twisted.

22:13 Yeah.

22:14 Um, it was like the other Carolina.

22:18 No. I need to look up their logo.

22:22 It's the King Cox. And so we get to walk around with a shirt that says go Cox.

22:27 Oh, that is fun. Tailgating is a riot. I bet it is.

22:32 It's so much fun.

22:33 Standing sex. What are logistics of this? Only for athletes. I, so contrary to who I was with in the past, that was really the only, who was the most like public of my relationships. That guy is not my type. I don't know how it happened.

23:00 Yeah.

23:02 We certainly were not having any sort of craziness happening. So let's like remove him from the picture. I love standing up sex because the men I mess with are built like fucking Superman.

23:21 Some of the guys that I've had, no, they couldn't even hold me. What?

23:30 They can't pick you up?

23:32 Yes. What? Your face is funny. No, there's some like that are so short and little that they could not hold me up.

23:41 Why would you fuck them then?

23:42 Because I have a problem.

23:46 I will say, Sally, I'm not going to judge you because there was this one time that I was DMing with this guy and he was super, super cute. Like, tattoos everywhere, all over his face. He had like all this swag in the world. This was when I was like, I had just moved to LA. So he asked me out on a date. He's like, meet me at Cabo Cantina.

24:07 I was like, I fucking love that place. I walk in, he stands up. And when I tell you that short five, one, maybe, maybe I still let him smash. Enough liquor. I won't even know how tall you are and I won't even care. But we only did it from behind. Oh, but that's short. I mean, that is short. I could have picked him up.

24:36 Yeah, you should have.

24:39 My little.

24:43 I don't even know what you're about to say.

24:47 Could you imagine me holding him and me moving him back and forth oh.

24:51 My god I would die that is so.

24:53 Funny no it was like I got smashed that night because I was like oh oh and then this fool when I started beefing with 50 cent back in the day it has the audacity to slide into the comment section with a laughing crying face I fucking commented I was like listen here you fucking short stack Don't make me come for you.

25:15 Yeah.

25:16 I was like, you of all people feels comfortable commenting on this. You're tiny.

25:22 Do you look good at least?

25:27 He had to have looked good because I would never have linked up with him if I wasn't attracted to him. But like I should see, there's so many things I've been through now where I clock it on Instagram where it's like, okay, if you're always posting in a hat, We got it. That means there's a hairline issue. If you're only posting from like here up, how tall are you?

25:49 Why are you never standing next to anybody? Hmm.

25:52 Hmm.

25:52 I'm going to need a reference.

25:54 Yeah.

25:55 See, I have like the weirdest, like I, my taste is all over the board. Cause there are a lot of short people. I've only really dated. There's only one guy that I've dated. That's really tall. Um, and the others are just short. And I feel like it's like my issue because I feel like we've talked about this.

26:13 I get like a power trip or something from like having sex with people that don't look that good. What?

26:28 What?

26:29 Explain.

26:29 What are you talking about? I thought that you meant with them being short, you could be like, yes! Look how big and powerful I am! Powerful pussy!

26:40 My roommate is like, Sally, how do you find this person attractive? And I'm like, it's something in my brain where I'm like, it's honestly like I'm on top of them and I'm like, you're.

26:57 So fucking ugly and I'm so fucking hot.

26:59 You're never going to have something like this again. And it's like a power trip for me.

27:04 Wow. I would find, I would think it would be the opposite. Like you're never going to get this. Well, yeah, no, I'm like, you're the most interesting woman alive.

27:15 Looking at me. Like, I can't believe I'm hooking up with this.

27:19 Oh, it's more of them thinking like, I'm so lucky.

27:23 Yeah.

27:24 I think.

27:24 I don't know what it is, but it's fucked up and I need to get it together.

27:28 I think it's fine. You know, it's like fair game. Everyone's got a shot.

27:34 That's what I'm saying. Everyone has a shot. And I don't discriminate.

27:40 No, you're short. Totally fine. Your mug looks a little off. Fine. You still have a shot. Oh, you have such a good heart.

27:49 Yeah, I help those out there in need.

27:53 You give them so much self-confidence. There's something... Hold on though. You may be doing them and other women a disservice because I have had friends who are very, very sexy and they give the unsexy a shot. And then the unsexy break up with my hot friends thinking that they can go back... tens all day long like well if this is who I could pull and lock her down like I should have a plethora of her all over the place and then and then they end up with someone who's not as hot and it's like no you got my friend because she has a good heart and that's rare she has a good heart.

28:36 Oh my god.

28:43 Oh sally that is so funny oh my god food in the bedroom how do we feel about it i feel like the thought is sexier than actually though can i tell you there's one time i do like food and but it has to be like a syrup or something to like suck off of the dick.

29:09 We're talking about food on you.

29:12 What do you want to eat a sandwich before you get laid I'm all about that I.

29:15 Had sushi in my bed last night um not with a man I was watching my mom and I was eating sushi.

29:26 Oh I know I love a good snack in my bed because I'm really particular so like there's not a crumb in sight if I have someone else in my bedroom and they're like wanting to eat a snack I'm like no no you don't care like I care oh yeah if you really really hate someone eat a nature valley uh granola bar in their bed and you will fuck them up for life oh my god or like an everything bagel or an everything bagel like if you hate them Eat that in their bed.

29:57 Also, I think this doesn't have to do with food, but I have that bunny that I sleep with. I'm pretty sure Ghost sprayed it with his cologne.

30:07 Ghost is a little weirdo, isn't he? He's making my eyes burn.

30:13 It was so potent last night. My roommate was crying, laughing at me because I was like, I think I'm allergic to Ghost. I couldn't breathe. I was like, you know, sniffly and stuff. We had to put the bunny in the washing machine.

30:25 That's something a woman would do.

30:26 I know. I mean, maybe he just slept on it, but it was very.

30:31 Sally, if he slept on it and it left that much of a scent, like you need to tell him to tone it down. That's like when a guy gets in an elevator and he stays for the next hour in that elevator just because of how much cologne he had on. No, he spritzed it. Oh, he spritzed it.

30:50 It's true, but maybe there'll still be a little leftover smell after the wash.

30:56 I like, oh, food near the vagina, someone's asking.

31:02 What kind of food? I had someone text me the other day that he wanted to put whipped cream on my titties and my vagina and lick it off. And I really was, I was really into it.

31:15 I'm fine with the titties, but I think you could get like some sort of infection if you're putting like sugary foods in my, near my vagina. Big fan of the ice cube in the vagina though.

31:24 Oh yeah, yeah. Ice cube's great. Ice cube is great. I got all the meds here. I don't need.

31:32 You got what?

31:34 All the meds here. Like I'm prone to yeast infections. Like if I take an antibiotic, I'm getting a yeast infection.

31:39 Well, I feel like you're prone because you're putting things like whipped cream in your vagina.

31:43 I've never done it.

31:45 Oh, you've never done it.

31:46 Okay. We just talked about it and it sounded nice.

31:49 When you go to Mexico, you should just get a bunch of like azithromycin or whatever it's called. I think that's what cures everything. Or maybe it's clindamycin.

31:59 Oh, I don't know.

32:00 How do you feel about a striptease? Awkward or sexy? That's how I know I'm marrying a guy. If I can do a striptease and we can like either find it really sexy or laugh about it while I'm doing it, then I know I got to lock it down.

32:13 Yeah. Yeah.

32:14 No, I don't.

32:15 I don't. I don't think I've ever done that.

32:18 A striptease?

32:19 There was one time. Did I tell you about this?

32:23 I dressed up so sexy in lingerie, like had a robe on and I was going to take off my robe. And I had like these stockings on and my boyfriend was downstairs and he was waiting for me downstairs.

32:36 And I came first step.

32:42 Lola, I fell all the way down my steps and my staircase is long.

32:47 And I, I was crying. And he had to come in there and like disheveled in my lingerie and stockings. He had to like pick me up. And I was like, well, that sucks. We didn't like, and we didn't have sex that night.

33:02 I was like, I'm wounded. Can I tell you, my friend called me over the weekend and she was at a dude's house and they were going to, she had told me, she was like, I think I'm going to let him put it in the bum. I was like, you totally should. I've heard that. It feels amazing. Like go for a boo. God. He had, they were doing it in the shower and he had one of those shower doors that swings both ways. Like it doesn't. So speaking of holding the wall, like you said, with the shower, people got to be careful about that because my shower door in Palm Springs does that. Where like my shower door, yeah, goes both ways, right?

33:41 But I have a mention there too. Wow.

33:46 He puts it in the bum and she bends over to do this and just completely falls out of the shower. Fucking face first onto the tile floor.

33:56 Oh my. Did she get hurt?

33:58 Yeah, she got hurt. She got hurt. She got pretty hurt.

34:02 So they didn't continue.

34:05 No, they didn't continue. They did not continue. But I'm telling you, getting hurt during sex is like pretty brutal. Or, like, before you're ready to do it.

34:16 Yeah.

34:17 It just ruins the vibe. Especially if, like, you get up and you're bleeding.

34:21 Yeah. Like, it's horrible.

34:22 I feel like there's a lot of sex injuries out there. I feel like I've had so many. Especially with, like, in the butt.

34:32 Like, me and my ex-friend of five years, we used to do it all the time.

34:37 You would have, like, butthole injuries?

34:40 Yeah. Aww.

34:46 Ouch.

34:47 That is something to look into.

34:51 Actually, my friend used to like be exclusive to anal and the guy she was dating had a really, really massive dick and she had to wear depends for a while. I'm not kidding. I haven't done that in a long time, but I've never heard of any grown woman fully shitting herself. You were either clocked out, but even that, like when you're that clocked out, it's, you're basically under anesthesia. I know.

35:23 And people under anesthesia shit themselves all the time in the hospital. I see it every day, every week. Wait, really?

35:30 That's my biggest fear.

35:32 But they will never tell the patient.

35:34 Of course not. You'd be embarrassed.

35:35 Yeah, you go under and then, you know, everyone in the room is like very casual about it.

35:41 It's like, Oh shit. All over the floor. Clean it up. Yeah. Yeah. Keep going. Oh my God. Yeah. People, cause you can't control your bowels when you're asleep like that. And like, that's how clocked out. That's how asleep I was. I know.

35:55 That's why I'm like, it's either all the anal or you were like comatose.

36:00 Cause I only did like, I haven't had anal in years.

36:04 Well, speaking of injury, what about having a safe word?

36:11 I don't think I've ever, like, I'm just like, stop.

36:16 Let me tell you something, though. Stop does not always work. Because when I was in squatty potty position, I was basically screaming stop.

36:25 Oh, yeah. He said that he couldn't because he was about to cum. Yes. You should be like, this isn't about you, sir.

36:31 Stop me.

36:32 I'm dying.

36:33 I may shit on the floor.

36:36 Yeah. Yeah. Which I feel like he would have been fine with.

36:41 The way that I replay that in my mind every night, like what would I have done? I think I would have had to say homeboy lay there. I, I would go directly to blood. I bled on the floor and I don't want you to step in it.

36:56 Yeah.

36:57 I mean, he would definitely know shit.

37:01 The smell.

37:02 Yeah. I don't know. That would have been terrible either way though.

37:07 I've been nervous to have sex ever since.

37:10 Why? Don't do squatty potty.

37:12 No, I'm not doing squatty potty position, but also I told you I went to the doctor.

37:17 Remember?

37:18 Cause I was concerned about the blood. And he was like, no, IUD is good. All is good. Healthy looks good. And he was like, if it happens again, let me know. And I'm like, well, now I feel like I need to sleep with someone who I'm really, really comfortable with just in case it happens again. Like this person that I did it with, you know, i told you i've known him since i was like 21 years old so it was yeah i didn't care he didn't care this was weeks ago yeah it was like a month ago you haven't had sex in a month no i've been nervous just call him only masturbated maybe i should use that giant dick and see if.

37:59 It bleeds well that'll definitely make you bleed really That thing's like fucking this big.

38:04 No, not that one. That thing is like a baby. I'm talking about the other one that has like the body.

38:10 Okay. And the butthole. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

38:15 I'm going to try that.

38:16 You know what?

38:17 That's great.

38:17 Okay.

38:18 This is like an, this is not new, but actually a lot of questions have come in about this audio porn. where you just listen. And there's an app called Quinn. And I remember they sent me headphones back in the day and I would wear them everywhere. And then someone asked me if I like read things for Quinn. I was like, no, I just thought that it was the brand and it's actually audio porn, but people like, um, Jesse Williams.

38:48 Yeah.

38:48 Rob he's from love Island, I think. connor's story from heated rivalry he's done it hudson williams like i don't know i could get into this you what i don't know what the quinn app is it's like celebrity audio erotica like it's like sexy talk and like.

39:15 Yeah.

39:15 I'm going to have to, I'm going to have to listen to see if I would be into that because I've never tried that.

39:19 I've never tried it either, but I'm telling you people are obsessed right now when they're getting celebs like that.

39:24 Yeah. I mean, it sounds crazy. I just kind of wanted hear it just to hear how they do it I kind of want to do one yeah you would be good at it I.

39:39 Don't know how good at it I'd be I do know how to like drop the voice low yeah just depending on the environment and But I mean, these are like pretty, Connor's story and Hudson Williams are like pretty A-list right now. If they're doing it, I can certainly find time to do it.

39:56 Yeah, you should do it.

39:58 How do you feel about sexting from another room?

40:01 Like in the same house?

40:03 Yeah, or like if you're at a party, that could be hot. I think sexting while you're at a party together would be super hot.

40:10 Yeah, that would be hot.

40:11 I also love having vibrating underwear where the guy controls it with the little thing.

40:17 Oh my God, I need that.

40:19 It's the best. Sally, it is so much fun.

40:22 Yeah, that sounds like it. I mean, I love, so there's only some people I can sex with. Okay. I don't know.

40:31 What do you mean? Like they have to be good at it?

40:33 Yeah, because I'm not great at it. I would love to be great at it. Sometimes, like, I send the sexy texts to ChachiBT. I'm like, give me something sexy to say back.

40:45 Does it do it? Every time?

40:47 Yeah.

40:49 Really?

40:50 Yeah, I had to do it the other day.

40:51 Oh, I must be a little too raunchy.

40:55 See, I need to learn from you because me and Riley were talking about how awkward we are. She was, like, saying, she was like, yeah, put your penis in my vagina.

41:07 She gets all technical and scientific.

41:10 Yeah. We're like, how do you even know what to say?

41:14 My friend is dating this guy. She lives in New York. And she's like, I'm the worst sexster on the planet. So we were FaceTiming. And she was catching me up on her dating life. And she really likes this guy, whatever. And he's like, you know, everything that's happening in our relationship is amazing. But I think where we could step our game up is... like the sexy texts. So she didn't know how to do it. So I was telling her what to say and her jaw was like on the floor. She's like, I cannot say that. So I gave her like a pretty lighthearted one.

41:48 Yeah. And like just sending my texts and be like, what do I say back to this?

41:53 Yeah. I've sexted for a few of my friends.

41:57 Yeah. I need that because I'm so bad at it.

42:00 See, I have had to be good at it because I really like long distance and which would be great for you and ghost.

42:08 Yeah.

42:08 I like long distance. So like I have to conquer the art of how to keep that spicy and fun and going.

42:15 Yeah.

42:16 Since I'm not going to be able to see you all the time. Yeah. Big fan of the sexting. You should also do the underwear though.

42:23 I love getting sex. Like I'm like reading, I'm like, Oh my God.

42:27 Oh yeah. Who's not great at receiving a good sext.

42:30 I love it.

42:30 But I just like, the hard thing is though, is like, if the person on the receiving end, like I was talking to this guy where I would send sexy texts, but his response would not get me. I'm like, we got to work on like your responses.

42:45 Yeah. I mean, I was like, yeah, see, that's, that's how I feel that they're thinking about me.

42:52 Yeah. But it doesn't have to be super raunchy.

42:54 Yeah. Wow. All right.

42:56 This was a fun episode. You made me cackle.

42:59 This is funny. All right.

43:01 I love you. I think it's great that you have so many people who are just itching for your love and affection. What are you and your mom going to do today?

43:08 We're going to go to lunch. Go get lunch. Downtown. I think Austin's going to meet us and stay toxic.

43:15 Stay toxic, friends. Thanks for listening to another episode of Sex Unlocked. We love you and we'll catch you next week. Bye.