Remember it's supposed to be fun

0:03 Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good morning. This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's tip is that if you are doing something for the fun of it, don't fall into the trap of thinking of it as a chore. Remind yourself that it is supposed to be fun, and you might wind up with a better and lighter attitude. about the whole thing. I know Before Breakfast listeners pride themselves on setting big goals and following through. People do this in their professional lives, but they do it in their personal lives as well.

0:46 And that is great. But sometimes I hear from people who embarked on a project for fun and end up feeling like it is one more thing that they have to do. Does this sound familiar? Maybe you decided to sign up for a race with your running club. And now you're complaining about fitting the training runs into your days.

1:09 You're talking with anyone who'll listen about being busy because you have a 10-mile run squeezed somewhere into your Saturday. Or maybe you decided to host a dinner party at your apartment. You start planning the menu and decor and hit a wall as you realize you're going to be making three different shopping trips on a very busy week.

1:31 that involves a work trip, too. You schedule to get together with an old friend, but your house is a wreck after the kids have been sick all week, and you're behind on a project and it's raining, and you agreed to meet your friend at a place that is 30 minutes away. You lament to another friend by text that you have no time. In these situations, many of us find ourselves complaining about all we have to do or feeling stressed about things in our schedule that are intended to be fun. No one has to run a race.

2:05 No one has to host a party. Get-togethers with friends do not fall into the categories of work or caregiving. These things are supposed to be fun, so when we find ourselves complaining and lamenting all we have to do related to these fun activities, this is obviously problematic. So when we do find ourselves complaining, the first step is to stop and try to shift our mindset. All fun takes work. And effortful fun takes more work than effortless fun.

2:43 That is important to remember because effortful fun, like hosting parties and getting together with friends, is the best kind of fun. Far more fun than the effortless fun of scrolling around online. But effortful fun takes effort. So yes, packing and getting to the airport is always stressful, but how cool is it to go on vacation? You might try changing your language. I get to see my childhood best friend tomorrow. I signed up to attend this improv class I've wanted to take for a while. I am so excited to gather my good friends for a party.

3:20 Who knows what magic everyone will make together? Remind yourself that the activity is something you desired and chose. Nobody is forcing you to do it. It can also be helpful to reconnect with your reasons for deciding on the activity in the first place. I'm looking forward to this vacation because I love visiting new places. I love Molly and I'm grateful for our decades-long friendship. I signed up for this race because the last one I did was so much fun. I still remember crossing the finish line and grabbing a beer with my running club buddies afterwards.

3:59 You can also try some mental time travel. Imagine doing the activity or looking back on it rather than just preparing for it and all the work involved in that. I'm going to be so excited once I'm packed and on my way to Puerto Rico. I'll be so happy to have spent time with Molly. Or I can see us laughing and taking pictures at the end of this race.

4:23 When you remind yourself that something is supposed to be fun, You can also lighten your approach to it. Fun should be fun. So feel free to make things easier on yourself. If you're hosting a party, you can order food to be delivered. Tell your friends it's going to be a potluck. An old friend might be open to a more low-key hangout if it has been a rough week. Maybe just aim to finish the race, not get a PR. They still give you a medal at the end, regardless. And if you adjust your mindset and realize something you are doing for the fun of it still isn't making you happy, remember that you can change your plans. There is no law that says you have to do most things that are supposed to be fun. So if you took on

5:13 something for fun and it isn't fun, you can cancel. That is the upside of leisure activities. They generally aren't required. But first, see if you can regain your excitement by tweaking your language, imagining yourself doing the experience, reconnecting with what made it appealing in the first place, and hitting the easy button when you can. When we remember that things are supposed to be fun, sometimes we can have a little more fun with them. In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening. And here's to making the most of our time. Thanks for listening to Before Breakfast.

6:08 If you've got questions, ideas, or feedback, you can reach me at laura at lauravandercam.com Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartMedia. For more podcasts from iHeart Media, please visit the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.