MFM Minisode 496

Hello.

It is Karen and Georgia here to tell you about our newest limited series podcast from Blanchard House, Exactly Right Media and USG Audio.

This is Royal Swindle.

Royal Swindle tells the story of two fabulously wealthy Australian women who arrive in London in the nineteen nineties and quickly charm their way into British high society.

Evelyn Burton and her lover Leila Andre infiltrate a rarefied world of horses, old money and exclusive investment opportunities, and before long the money starts rolling in.

But behind the country houses, lavish promises and irresistible charm, this couple is hiding a dark past and some truly diabolical intentions.

Host Becum Milligan tracks down one half of the duplicitous duo and guess her to tell all in this extraordinary true story of greed, lies and love.

Episodes one and two of Royal Swindle premiere Thursday, July twenty third, with new episodes releasing weekly on Thursdays.

You can follow Royal Swindle now on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Goodbye, Hello and welcome my favorite murder.

That is Georgia Hart start, that's Karen Kilgarat And we are on.

The mic for a minisode, for a mini and this is the minisode.

No, we'll get it one day, someday, we'll get it.

I'll let you go first, okay. And it's a double pen, two pens. I'll have two pens in a paper clip. Please damn your official. That's right, a referee with a whistle.

Okay.

I won't read you the subject line. It says, hi, Karen and Georgia. As World Cup season is upon us. Oh, did you get to watch any of the world to watch some Yeah, yeah, very exciting. The world is healing itself, one cup at a time, one big soccer game at a time. I guess it says. And I know you both like sports. I thought you might like a tale from my time as a football reporter.

So here goes.

As a young football reporter, soccer to you, gals, I was often sent alone on assignments across Europe to interview players and report on matches. Sounds glaremous right. It wasn't. On a trip to Prague, I was working on a game where the stadium was miles from the city center. These were pre uber days and I could see that this was going to be a nightmare of a place to get a taxi back from at midnight, long after the fans had all gone home, with a six am flight home to London the next day and a little time to spare. When my taxi driver dropped him off at the stadium, I told him I'd pay him double if he would come back after the match and return me to my hotel. He agreed, and I was delighted to see him waiting as arranged. As I was getting

out of the car at my hotel, he gave me his card. I put it in my pocket but said I wouldn't need it as I was leaving in a matter of hours. He said he wasn't clocking off until nine and offered to return at four am to drive me to the airport.

Wow. Perfect, I thought.

This has been much easy then it should have been. And after just three hours of sleep and some very swift packing, Yeah, the worst turnover, yep. I got back into that car and shut my eyes to have a doze, and this is when things took a turn.

Oh God, sinsing.

The car had stopped I woke up and realized to my horror that we weren't at the International Departures terminal, but at the back of some garages at an unlit track in the middle of nowhere.

Oh my god.

His engine was off and the driver was looking at me in the rear view mirror. His whole demeanor had changed, and I immediately knew I was in trouble.

Oh my God.

Knowing I had no idea where I was or which way I should run, I got out my cell phone and called my husband back in England. His handset would be on silent, but a call to the landline would ring loudly in our bedroom and wake him up. It did, and thank god, he picked up. Not knowing what to do, I began an overly cheerful chat about how great my trip had been, and despite being half asleep, my dear boy immediately clocked that I was in trouble. I told him all about my and he asked loads of questions, knowing he needed to stay on the line, and tried to get snippets of any information he could. I ran my hands through my hair to leave DNA in the car, and I could see the driver was getting increasingly agitated.

The only thing I could think to do was pretend I hadn't noticed anything was off, and continued what seems like a casual chat with my husband.

Fucking hoops, we have to jump through just to make sure we don't get murdered.

Yep is or sauageous or assaulted is egregious for a cab driver.

People who are licensed, any other licensed professional cab driver would be like, it's this is a affront that what we do.

Think twice about because it's a cab driver.

He's safe, he's just As I was telling him how brilliant and helpful the driver had been, I remembered the card in my pocket. I told him to take down to the number, as we should definitely use this driver again if we ever came back to Prague. Brilliant, right, Also having to be that smart under that immense.

Amount of pressure wouldn't have to be.

But maybe it helps, Maybe it turns you know, the adrenaline fires some parts.

Of our brain. That's what this is all for.

I think, is us feeling unsafe in the world and like, what's fantastic about it?

Hey, congratulations, we made it. Once i'd read the number to my husband more times than required to make sure he had not taken it down wrong. The driver realized the jig was up, turned the car around and drove back up the track and took me to the airport. When I got out of that car, we both behaved as if nothing happened, so weird. I politely waited for him to get my suitcase out of the boot, thanked him and paid him with a hefty tip as I sure as hell wasn't hanging around for change, and walked into the terminal building without looking back. This was nearly thirty years ago now, but I still get shivers thinking about what might have happened that night. I'm still married to the man who took that call. We don't have

a home phone anymore does anyone, but I'm one hundred percent sure that him picking up is the reason I made that flight. SS and think twice about putting your cell phone on silent. It might save someone from the DGM bit.

Jane, Damn, Jane, Jane, that is harrowing. We're so glad you're okay.

Yes, well, and also thanks for writing in, because really the point of all of this also is talk about it. Say what happened, Say what you thought of? Help other people total keep communicating about it.

Let's discuss Yeah.

All right, taking a turn. Great.

This is a follow up to the question how many kids is too many to keep track of?

Do you remember that one? We asked that we were sincerely asking the parents of.

Yes, or the children who experienced it.

And that's what this is. Okay, it just starts.

I just finished listening to a mini episode about a little girl being left behind at church, and you questioned, at what number of children you start losing track of them? And we got some good answers on that too. My vote is for and I say that as the middle of four kids who got lost or left behind several times.

One time was a combination quote there are too many kids slash trash cousins story. We were traveling with some extended family, ten adults and fourteen kids in South Dakota and had plans to eat at a steakhouse and then go to a rodeo. My god, have you ever been to a rodeo?

Oh?

Hell yeah, you have them in your in my town. And we used to have thee at the fair every year. We used to at the Santa Rosa fair where we would go show our sheep. One time we got to go. It wasn't a rodeo, but it was a trick rider. My dad would remember the name. I bet you a thousand dollars. And she was amazed. She literally she flipped all over this horse.

She was running.

She was racing in a circle. She was like a barrel racer. So she could go like on the side of the horse and like get down to the horses, like almost touching the ground, and she is almost touching the around and she would like turn around and sit.

Backwards, and fucking Suburbia. We didn't have anything cool.

I don't think we even were Suburbia. I think we were straight. You were Suburbia.

We had nothing cool, but meth okay, South Dakota eating steakhouse, go to a rodeo. At the end of dinner, we kids were all sent to use the bathroom. When I finished, I went back to the table. After a few minutes, I noticed that nobody else was coming back. I figured they couldn't all be taking that long in the bathroom, so I went and checked to see that nobody was in the bathroom either. I ran outside to see, to my horror, that all of the vehicles were gone in South Dakota. You don't know where the fuck you are.

You probably had a cracker barrel or something.

And you're the last person at a restaurant where it's like you're surrounded by stranger.

And a child in your job. I started to panic, After all, I was only nine years old and in South Dakota. But I also remembered the advice from the safety Kid's cassettes my parents.

Would play for us. Let's hear this.

They had songs about body boundaries, memorizing important information like phone numbers, fire safety, and more. One of the songs was about how when you're lost, you should quote look for a grandma or mother with children. Oh what about a goth grandma? Though, look for a goth grandma.

Someday that will be the safest person anyone can actually truly age.

To help you.

And because it is South Dakota, there were several older people in rocking chairs on the porch of the restaurant. I was wary of the old men because the song didn't say anything about grandpa's.

Don't go in near grandpa's.

Just as a safety, just locking in on grandma's. But there were some grandmotherly looking ladies too. They offered to stay with me and drive me down to the rodeo of my parents were in back Soon. Not long after my parents, Manian flew into the parking lot. Apparently some cousins had decided to switch up which cars they wrote in, and my parents assumed I had done the same. Had a stoplight, my mom hopped out of the van and ran down the line of cars to make sure of where I was. Mother's intuition, she was like, she thinglt it right, Yeah, just hopping out of the car to stop light, Like, who does that?

A mother's hand in one state? I wish I knew the goddess. Mysteries of the unknown.

There's a twin's hand and one state tingles, a mother doing the dishes hats her hand with a knife, and a daughter in a different state feels it.

I don't think the children know what we're talking about. It they don't, but they don't look it up. But the fifties were great.

Everybody we love where the grandma where the god Grandma's Essentially, no one had me and no one knew where I was. When she ran back to the van to share the bad news with my dad. My cousin who was writing in the vand with them laughed. Of course, she said she knew exact because like they didn't know where she was.

It's not like we left her behind, It's like, where's our fucking child? She said, she knew exactly where I was back at the restaurant. This cousin is about ten years older than me, one hundred percent old enough to know better than to just leave a younger cousin behind like that. But I was found safe and I love to tease her about it to this day, especially now that she has daughters to watch out for. Damn, my husband and I decided one kid is plenty for us.

Like all two year old he is impulsive, no control, and my blood pressure can't handle more. Stay sexy and introduce your kids to the Safety Kids music. Even if it's thirty plus years old now, the advice is still solid and you never know when they are going to come in handy so funny, Christina. Note from Kate Oh so Kate kay tell them back? Who sourced these? Made a note that you can find the Safety Kids song on YouTube, but our lawyer, Jim says we cannot play it on the podcast.

Songs are tough, but everything is you know, everything's copywritten or whatever.

Right, But go to YouTube and look up look for a grandma safety kids.

It probably sounds a little something like this Grandma.

It's like it sounds like a bank commercial. Bubby, Okay, okay, I'm not going to read you the subject line because it's one of the greatest.

I'll read it to you at the end. I just thought of one mind that maybe laugh so hard.

I like that an upcoming yeah in this one yeah, yeah, Okay. It starts Hello, Karen, Georgia and Stephen. I'm a twenty one year old college student slash hockey player from Minnesota. I've been listening for about three years since I started college. Your podcast has basically been the soundtrack to every long drive between home and school. Anyway, onto my family's contribution to American history.

Oh.

My grandpa Ralph was a small town Minnesota farmer who grew crops and raised animals alike if it could be grown, raised, or judged at a state fair. Hey, he was involved and probably had strong opinions about it. But the crown jewel of his farming career was raising the largest bore in the entire state. Not a cute four each project pig, more like local legend, state fair celebrity. Someone should probably notify Guinness Big Whoa. Because of this extremely large pig, he was invited to appear on David Letterman.

Oh my god, that is yeah of legend.

Yeah, my family still has the videotape, photos and the giant state Fair sign he won. That sign currently lives in my parents' garage because apparently once your pig archives national fame, it becomes a permanent household storage problem. The best part happened after filming in the studio at Letterman. Backstage, a man walked up, shook my grandpa's hand and introduced himself as Ringo Star. What Yes, that Ringo Star Beatles level cultural icon somehow still standing in front of you fame.

Ringo had heard about my grandpa's prize winning boar and he wanted to see it, and, being the rural farmer that he was, of course, my grandpa had absolutely no idea who Ringo Star was, So instead of having a this is a beetle moment, my grandpa had a who is this guy? And why is he talking to me? Before I've had coffee moment and proceeded to critique his hair and piercings.

What he said, okay, but especially now with a fucking beat.

According to family lore, Ringo Star was excited to meet my grandpa and while my grandpa treated him like a neighbor kid who needed a haircut and some new overalls.

Oh my god, I can tell you how photos of this and I'm losing my fucking mind.

Okay, it's wild. I love that.

Somewhere in history, a beadle asked to see a famous pig and a Minnesota farmer responded with fashion commentary. So, and I'm sure it's like the way my die would do it is like, how about you cut that hair right?

Yeah, it'll tar them with all those piercings.

It's literally the fourth most famous person on the planet to many people. So while some families have stories about hidden treasure or distant connections to Royalty, mine is that my grandpa raised Minnesota's largest bore, went on David Letterman and accidentally became Rango Star's Midwest style consultant. Stay sexy and don't accept fashion advice from farmers unless you're prepared for honesty and signed Courtney Minnesota.

Courtney Minnesota.

But it is Courtney from Minnesota. Is I'm Courtney's last name? Because that's a great stage.

Naw, didn't she say she's from Minnesota.

I guess she did in the beginning, Yes, she did. It's Courtney Minnesota and Minnesota from here on out.

Hilarious. Oh my god, sholl me pictures.

There's a ps it says the pig was fifteen hundred pounds.

Let's pick a lok. My god, show me everything. He won the title in nineteen ninety eight. Holy shit, that's an enormous pig. Behind that's the Ed Sullivan Theater where they tape Letterman.

Oh my god, I'm putting together that they had to put his slop on the ground right to like keep him on the stage.

This is probably rehearsal.

You guys can see this on Instagram and our socials, but you can also see us on Netflix and see this PHOTOA Okay.

And then here's the grandpa out in front, just to prove that.

He really was there in a stretch Limo.

Brought him minute. They love a stretch limo in New York. Yeah, what year is that? Do you think the pig was in the back in the hot tub in the back night.

He won it in ninety eight, so I bet you he was on pretty soon after Letterman Loved Loved a big pig, he loved State Fair stuff.

Amazing. Yeah, great job, right, yeah, so exciting. Thanks Christina Arizona.

What the fuck is gon?

Courtney Minnesota is absolutely my new stage name. That's Courtney Minnesota, bringing you God Grauna.

Okay, this isn't the one yet, but this is confessions of a scream sneezer. Great, and I read a thing randomly today, read a thing that said that you could kill yourself with a sneeze, but your body knows how to expel it. Oh, so, like, if you didn't sneeze out aloud and proud, you could kill yourself.

Right, you could give yourself an aneurysm.

Right, So this is a I think this is an argument for So let's see how it goes.

Okay, pretending there's no in between. Okay, here we go with this argument.

As a scream yawner, I just have I have some Oh my god, Vince like in the middle of our trip, was like, what are you like? He knows I do that, but I just started not even noticing it do it. I thought we yelled that in kindergarten for yawning. Scream yawning.

Is that how your family does it?

Yeah? And I just like want to let you know, like here, this is.

So tired, boring, and I.

Thought, that's how you fucking yawned. Okay, Thanks Grandma, Hello, Karen and Georgia. I've been meeting to write in for a while, and you know how life goes, I'm just now getting around to it. I started listening around the pandemic times, and I think a lot of people were looking for outlets. Some made banana bread, others listened to YouTube talk about murder. Some did both at the same time.

Also, sorry about those episodes, recording them and just being like, how are we getting this done?

Okay.

In one of your episodes, you talked about scream sneezing, and it later came up in a rewind and I knew I had to share.

When I was a kid, my dad scream.

Sneezed so violently it would cure your hiccups from a mile away. It was mortifying. You'd be minding your own business and suddenly Mount Saint Helen's would erupt all over again right next to you on the couch, and then it says had to throw in a Pacific Northwest reference to where I'm from. I never understood why he had to be so loud and obnoxious about a natural body function.

I even practiced holding my own sneezes in vowing that I would never be like that. Then I got older. I'm forty two now and a father to a four year old daughter. After years of treating my body like an amusement park, let's just say the bolts and screws don't hold together the way they used to, so now sneezing is genuinely painful if that pressure doesn't have a safety outlet. To my horror, I've become my father. I scream sneeze and those are capitalized with the best of them.

The scream lets the energy escape through my vocal cords instead of herniating a disc. So my poor daughter is growing up with a father who sounds like a fighter jet doing a flyby at Mack two. My dad isn't with us anymore, but I'll pass the story on to her and apologize in advance. On the bright side, it's a hiccup free zone. And then ps the story of how you two started your show genuinely inspired me. I now have my own podcast called in the Static, where I talk to writers, artists and musicians about why we make things even when we don't have to. Oh, your network's own. Hannah Smith from The Knife podcast was the one who encouraged me to actually do it, and she agreed to be my first guest.

Wow.

So thank you for building a community where people like me feel like they can step out of their shell and share their work. All the hot dogs, Brandon Keith Osborne, host of In the Static.

Brandon lovely, so nice to hear from you.

Now, let's get into this thing about the fact that it is not necessary to make the noise.

But Karen harridly disagrees with Karen must attack you right on the neck. No, it's just I get it, I get it.

It's just the front end. Yeah, just curb that part.

Don't totally don't don't do because it is upsetting when people go like that is so weird and bad.

My mom does a gap that the gas part is the one I don't Yes, a true part I don't care about, but right, yeah, and you're like what sapping.

And sometimes like my old dreaminate. It was like where you're like, no, you're just literally screaming you go to therapy. Yeah, okay, okay, this one now, this is this one's pretty epic. Okay, And I'm not going it's you ask for things that happened to us at work. Sure, it just starts. I literally love you guys so much. We got business to get into.

Let's go.

I work in a small office in a big city in Texas. Last summer, we had a few new hires coming through and I was sitting at the front desk waiting.

For them to arrive.

As they slowly began to filter in, there was one gentleman in particular who stood out to me. He walked in with a huge smile on his face and introduced himself. I greeted him and walked him back to the conference room. All while I had this weird feeling that I just couldn't shake. The gentleman made it through training and settled into his part time status, being a regular face that I saw every day. I was cordial, but I was hesitant to hold any extended conversation. And because there was just something in his eyes that was almost uncanny, I couldn't put my finger on it. I was completely convinced this was a bad man. Then one day all of my nerves and hesitancies were completely validated.

Oh my god. Kind of.

Another one of the new hires was up at the front desk chatting and said, did you guys know Chris was an actor? We paused, no, The young man continued, Yeah, he's been on all this stuff when we did our orientation. That was the fun fact that he shared. I immediately jumped onto IMDb and there it was. The reason the guy gave me the creeps is because I had seen those eyes before when he Chris McGarry played Alec Murdoch in The Murdoch Murders, Oh twenty twenty.

That's right, you guys.

The creepy feeling I means he's a great actor.

Seriously, the creepy feeling I was getting from the poor new man at work is because he played a literal murderer. Poor Chris, He's not a creep. He's just insanely fucking talented. Wow. After that, I decided it was time to stop avoiding eye contact and teach my brain that we are not in danger.

Chris was a great guy.

He ended up leaving because he got accepted into a collegiate theater program and he wanted to focus there. For his privacy, I'll spare any further detail. It's like you've told.

Us to his entire life.

We all follow him now on, We're all into this. Thank you guys for ten years of incredible work. Stay sexy, Samantha, And here he is. It's Chris McGarry starring in and Kate made this note that not to be mistaken with the Bill Pullman mini.

Series about the Murdoch murders. Got it. This was the two B movie from twenty twenty three.

Oh that's a menacing stare. Yeah, that's a great actor. Then great act like it stayed with her. Yeah, amazing, And that's the risk of acting.

That's what you get. People are scared of you.

I was thinking the guy who played odd book me, what's it called solotion on the back?

Put so in the yeah who who went on to be He was the like the police lieutenant on Monk right, and my mom loved Monk so I'd watch it with her all the time.

But I'd just be like, this is scary. The voice would come through.

Okay, this is the last one, and it's so predictable, but the last part is just somewhere with it. Okay, the best restaurant story you may ever hear. I like that might not be qualify it. Salutations, BFFs. I write to you from your own backyard and beautiful Silver Lake to tell you about my favorite restaurant story from over twelve years in the service industry.

I'm sure we asked for these.

Yeah, this was not from my first hand account. I'm sad to say it was my favorite chef I have ever worked with who blessed me with the tale. So here it is my gift to you. He was working at a very posh restaurant in Los Gatos. Where's that Los Gatos?

It's up in the East Bay, I believe, yeah, right East or South Bay, I'm not sure.

In his early career, it was common for people to celebrate birthdays and big life events here. One Saturday night, the restaurant was packed, per usual. The seven o'clock dinner rush is in full swing. The lobby is filled with people waiting to be seated, sipping on pre dinner cocktails. The kitchen printer is cranking out ticket after ticket to a hot and bustling kitchen servers are greeting guests, serving drinks, nursing a hangover with bitters and soda, flirting with the krusty tattooed sous chef, putting in orders, inevitably forgetting orders and blaming it on the kitchen. Wait, this isn't my story, Sorry, I was having clashbacks.

Anyways.

One server gets two parties at the same time that require two different cakes to be refrigerated and then presented at the end of the meal for a dessert. As dirty dinner dishes are being cleared, the server goes to the walk in to get the cakes ready. The first table to be ready for dessert is a large family celebrating the eightieth birthday of their dear sweet Nanah. The other party is a much more lively bunch of thirty somethings, all gathered to send their coworker off to their next job with a last supper situation. The busy and flustered server grabs a cake from the walk in and asks the server to help them bring the other cake to the group that was sending off their coworker. The first server walks the cake to the smiling family waiting to

see Happy Birthday to Nana. Simultaneously, the second server approaches a confused looking group of professionals with the cake that says Happy Birthday, Nana. The first server presents the other cake and goes to leave when they hear a gasp. They turn to see Nana's face, which has fallen with eyes brimming with tears. The server looks down in horror at the cake. Swirly black frosting states, You're dead to.

USA on trust from the family.

You're done to us now you're eightieth Go fuck yourself, Nana.

Oh you're dead to us because they were leaving their off the office. They're going read the cake before you drop it.

The classic tale of the old switcheroom ending and lots of comped drinks for Nan and the fam. A forever traumatized server, and my favorite story to tell at parties.

Love you both tons.

You have inspired me to get my master's in social work and help the underserved here in La.

Thank you, my God.

Stay sexy and blame it on the kitchen.

Maya Maya legendary, Oh, dead to.

Us, dead to us, that's like the I curse you with my dying breast.

Yes, no candles, black swirling, frosting dead.

We hate you, Grandma.

Do you have any switcheroo stories? Yeah, let us know it. My favorite murder at Gmail. Any kind of switcheroo, especially grandma based, yes, graandma based, Grandma.

Based cake bace, waitress base.

Yeah, et cetera, et cetera. Other than that, stay sexy and don't get murdered.

Good Bye, Elvis, Do you want a cookie?

Two as lesbian lovers touched down in nineteen nineties London and become the toast of British high society. They're rich, they're colorful.

Red hair, masses and masses and masses of red hair.

And they're outrageous.

She would keep a stash at fifty pound notes down her bra.

One of them starts touting an exclusive investment opportunity.

That money, If you give it to me, I will turn it into mega money.

And soon the money starts rolling in. Rich businessmen and England's horse loving elite fall under their seductive spell.

It was intoxicating stuff.

They even meet Queen Elizabeth. But the millionaire duo are concealing a dark past and dastardly intentions.

My husband turned around and said we either get that money or we're going to expose you for what you are.

I my mother saying to me that the ramifications of this were huge.

I was terrified, absolutely terrified. Evil.

They were bad, bad people, as bad as evil. Yes, definitely.

Before long, a small town detective gets wind of the duo's exploits and vows to stop them.

She was a thief. She was a thieving scumbag.

Only problem is these two are exceedingly hard to catch. Decades later, one of them is finally ready to tell all.

I've solved my soul to the devil.

This is the story of Lilah Andre and Evelyn Burton.

She was the love of my life, absolutely the love of my life.

From usg Audio, Blanchard House and Exactly Right Media, this is Royal Swindle.

Oh look, I say, I'm very sorry, but whether I mean or not not, I don't know.

Royal Swindle premieres Thursday, July twenty third. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes drop every Thursday.

This has been an Exactly Right production.

Our senior producer is Molly Smith and our associate producer is Tessa Hughes.

Our editor is Aristotle Ascevedo. This episode was mixed by Leona Squalacci. Email your hometowns to My Favorite Murder at gmail dot com.

Follow the show on Instagram at My Favorite Murder.

Listen to My Favorite Murder on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

And now you can watch My Favorite Murder on Netflix.

And when you're there, hit the double thumbs up and the remind Me buttons. That's the best way can support our show. Bye MHM.

MFM Minisode 496

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