S10E8: HOW TO STOP GETTING DOWN ON YOURSELF after stroke.

0:00 My beautiful survivors, how are you? This is Karina, the hosting creator behind Stroke Surviving the Odds, the podcast. The show's all about moving forward past the events of the stroke. If you are someone that wants to reclaim your life, reclaim your identity, reclaim what you have lost after the stroke, well, this is the show for you. Yep, I'm a stroke survivor myself. 27 years post, I suffered a brain stem dissection that led to coma Interlochen syndrome back in 1999.

0:35 Guys, I was 25 years old then in a vow that when I was going to get back to, I was going to be there for my community of stroke survivors, which I am. The show is now top five worldwide. I'm helping more than the one person I thought I was going to help. I want to remind you that you can download the episode by downloading. It allows you to sit back and relax and listen or go on with what you're doing around the house around your life right now.

1:10 And you can sit down and re listen to it with a pen and paper because yes, the faintest of ink is better than the best memory. Guys, yes, grab your pen and paper. I also want to remind you to share the episode, share the podcast, share with Sugar Bear. The more you share, the more the algorithm pushes the podcast and it continues helping people worldwide.

1:37 I personally found that the best way to help myself is by helping others. Sounds pretty funny, right? It is very true, guys. We forget about our own pain, we forget about our own Boo boos and we realize that we're not the only ones. So if you're sitting there thinking that you are the only one feeling the way you are and having the black thoughts that you are and feeling less than, let me tell you, you are a freaking rock star.

2:14 Stick with me in this show and you're going to realize that you were so much more than you thought you were. As I'm recording myself, I have my little dog Einstein behind. That's a little vocal. You're probably going to hear him bark at some point. And I'm also boiling some water in my kettle, so you might hear it beep in the background.

2:46 You see, having a podcast for me is sharing with you. We are sitting and we are having a tea or a coffee together and we're talking. I get it. You're going to tell me, Karina, the show is rhetorical. Like we can't talk back and forth. Not true, guys. We can talk more than you think. Well, you can talk to me on any of my platforms on social media because in the description I leave it to you.

3:17 You can also leave a comment here on Spotify. Guys, Spotify and Apple have, they both have this amazing platform developed to make it interactive between the host and the audience, the listeners. So whatever you want to talk to me about, please do. I'd be more than happy to get back to you. Today's show is very personal to me right now because that's exactly how I've been feeling and I've been wondering. The show is all about should we get down on ourselves because we don't finish what we started As stroke survivors, where do you like to put in your coffee?

3:59 And do you even like coffee or you rather have a tea? I have both. I even have green tea. Well, for those of you who want to know, I like my instant coffee. Yeah, I have a Tassimo, a virtual. I have them all. I still prefer my instant coffee, and I like a lot of cream inside. That's how I drink it.

4:23 All right, back to the show. You know, in the month of December. I'm going to give you a little bit of context. In the month of December, I was really gung ho thinking December is the month not only of Christmas, but a lot of people get engaged and a lot of couples want to reconnect, especially stroke survivors and their caregivers who are most likely their spouses.

4:54 So my heart was and is at the Good Place. So I said I'm gonna do 4 episodes during the month and I had it all laid out. And now in between the episodes, what I did is I went in the stroke survivor groups on different platforms to ask different questions in regards to not just sex but intimacy. OK, that's what I care about.

5:25 I care about the heart, the feelings, the thoughts. That's what I care about. The rest is the cherry on top of the sundae. So all that to be said that I did record 2 episodes and I was really excited, but I could see that some people were still very uneasy with the topic of intimacy. So I kind of put it on ice.

5:55 Then Christmas happened, I lost my job, a lot of things just didn't align and I kind of lost my mojo and it was validated that people were not into it that much. So I did not quit on my project. I don't believe in quitting. I believe in taking your time, in taking a break and taking a pause and go back to it. So I did put the project on ice and I lost my mojo. So I have some amazing episode guys. I'm on season 10 right now.

6:36 I am so, so proud of myself, but I'm mostly proud of you guys because you put me there. You guys make me understand and you validate that I'm at the right place and I'm doing the right thing. So thank you for that because without you guys, my listeners, there would not be any stroke surviving the odds. Let me go back to my story.

7:00 OK, so I went back in my very first seasons where I found some amazing and I'm like, Oh my God, who said that? Who's that girl on the on on my on the podcast. She sounds really great and I tweaked some episodes and I reposted them and they did even better than the first time. So that validated that it was OK for me to take a break on my project. So it brings me to the idea that a lot of stroke survivors start things and they give up.

7:51 And you know that I'm not for the giving up part, but I'm all for taking a break, reassess, think back, can you do it better? Can you do it differently? I'm all for that. So today's show is inspired by what I have learned in the last four years working closely with stroke survivors. I don't think that we should get down on ourselves because we don't finish something.

8:25 Life happens and I'm not saying that to make myself feel better. I'm saying this is my real thought and maybe justification behind it, but that really is what I think. It's not about getting down. Oh, I'm a failure. I didn't accomplish the project, the four week project I wanted to do. I didn't do it bull crap.

8:52 I did it and I'm still doing it because I'm still doing 1 little thing every every day. I post and I engage with with clients and with people and my job that I put upon myself was to make people think, make people feel. Because after stroke, we lose ourselves, we lose our identity. All I want is create enough, enough waves, if you will, to make stroke survivors see that. Fuck, I'm not that bad.

9:34 So honey, you are not that bad. I told you if you had all these bad feelings, these bad thoughts about yourself and you have a bad vocabulary and you talk bad about yourself to yourself and you're trash talking, you shouldn't do that babe. It's OK to feel like that at the moment and and even then try not to. I'm tempted to say, oh shit, I'm such a what a crap. I why the fuck did I do that?

10:13 I am tempted to do that guys, to say that, to call myself names sometimes, But I also know that I will finish what I start. I'm just not going to finish it when I thought I was. So what does this little story tell you? This little story tells you not to give up on yourself, not to quit. Keep doing a little thing every day to bring you that much closer to the end result.

10:53 You know there's people out there that have ADHD and call all the D's that you want. OK, I what? I don't know. That's one thing, guys. That is one thing. That is a brain disorder that brings your brain all over and we start something and we don't finish and we start something else and we don't finish and we start that are that's a different thing.

11:21 You as a stroke survivor, your mind, your head, your brain, your body was damaged, was hurt. It is not dead, it is not fini kaput. It is just different. So if you catch and learn and understand anything about this little story is that it's OK to change the date. You don't change the goal, you change the date.

12:03 That's what I learned when I was in business. That's what I learned in sales. And this is how I live my life, and this is how it makes me feel that much better and that much closer. Because the pain of saying I gave up would be a lot worse than saying I'm slowing down, don't you think? In the comments, tell me what you think. Please tell me.

12:39 Tell me not only what you think, but what you feel. Have you ever had a situation like this since you're a stroke survivor? And how did you remedy it? If you message me on Messenger, you can also leave me a voicemail. It doesn't have to be text. It doesn't have to be that at all. You can leave me a voice. I don't care if you have aphasia or dysphasia. I have people talking to me all the time. So remember this guys, you do not change the goal, you change the date.

13:19 The final result is going to happen in one way, shape or form. Just maybe not today, but it will happen. That's what I have for you guys today. I hope you enjoy. Please do tell me your comments. Make sure you share, you like, you follow, you download and you love each other and mostly you love yourself. OK, so that being said, I love you immensely. I thank you for being here and I will talk to you again this week.

13:54 OK, have a good one.