S11E12: HOW TO BECOME BRAVE after stroke.

0:00 Welcome to Stroke Surviving the Odds of the podcast. I'm Karina, your host and creator behind this, where the mission of the show is all about reclaiming your life and reclaiming your identity after stroke. Full of hacks, how to's strategies, mindset shifts, everything you may need to transform your life.

0:24 Guess what, I'm a stroke survivor myself. 28 years post. I suffered a brain cell dissection that led me to Coma Interlockton Syndrome. But right now I'm living my very best life and you're a big part of it. I suggest you grab your pen and paper because the faintest of ink is better than the best memory.

0:47 Come and join me here as we are recording today's show where we are going to be talking about what it means to be brave, things that are stopping you from being brave, and how to be more brave after stroke. You are not going to want to miss today's episode. As I mentioned in the intro of the podcast, it's all about moving forward after the stroke.

1:16 And being brave has to do with moving forward, has to do with the being a choice. Regular emotions such as fear, anger, joy, sadness, happiness, those are emotions that we feel inside of our gut. But being brave is actually a choice. They're actions you're going to take. And today we're going to see what maybe you've been going through your life doing after stroke and maybe that has been stopping you from showing, showing and rather deciding to be brave.

2:03 So I'm hoping that today's episode is going to make you think, get a aha moment and take action in your own bravery after stroke. OK, now in if at any point you feel that what I'm saying resonates with you, whether when I talk about things you've been doing on a on a daily basis that are making you be not brave, take note of it on that pen and paper and just write it down and verbalize.

2:42 And after the podcast or even during, you can pause me and ponder and think about what what what was just said. Does that make sense? But one important thing, and there's only one rule to today's episode, no judgment. You are not allowed to have any judgment on yourself because your feelings are validated. However you are feeling they belong to you. Nobody has the right to say you shouldn't be feeling that way. People tell us in general, Oh no, I didn't mean it that way. You're taking it the wrong way.

3:35 It. I don't care how people say it. No judgment. Fair enough. Now that the rule is out there, I am going to start the presentation and you can let me know in the comments. Of course, if there's something that you're not sure of, you're not understanding, or you want to talk a little bit more, let me know info and I will know to get in touch with you.

4:05 OK, so like I also said in my intro, I suffered a brain stem dissection 28 years ago. That doesn't mean that. Excuse me, I'm going to take a sip of water. All right, Thank you for that. So 28 years. It doesn't mean that I was never scared. It doesn't mean that I'm better than anyone else. It just means that I beat the odds.

4:41 You know, the average lifespan of a stroke survivor after a stroke is 20 years. This March is going to be 29 years. So I know first hand how it feels. All of that uncertainty, that instability, that earthquake you have inside of you where every day is actually a fight and a wonder because you're fighting for your life. You're fighting to reclaim your identity and figure out who you are today.

5:22 But at the same time, you are probably very worried. Am I going to have another stroke? That's a whole different episode. But I can understand the fight and wonder of things. So I just finished telling you that being brave is a choice. And something that stops you in your track every day is fear.

5:56 Yes, I know the acronym says fear is false evidence appearing real. Whoopee. But fear is a big, big stopper of bravery of you moving forward, of me diving off the diving board. Fear stops us dead in our tracks. Well, not today. We are going to learn how to fight this. But before we start fighting and figuring out, we are also going to figure out what maybe you've been doing in your daily life that has been hindering you moving forward. Fair enough.

6:42 The number one thing is to let your fear decide your value. After stroke, guys, there's a big loss of self worth. There's a big loss in identity in wondering who am I? So by letting fear settle in and decide you not doing anything, that's a mistake in itself. The number two thing that you might be doing, and this is real with thousands of stroke survivors I've spoken to over the years that feel invisible, feel like they don't matter. People talk about them and they are in the room and it kills them.

7:44 But these people do exactly what they shouldn't. And that's number two. Stay silent when the voice needs to be heard. You have something to say, you have thoughts, you have feelings. You are not a robot. People have this misconception of stroke survivors. Then at the beginning they're all like wanting you to to baby you and take care of you.

8:20 But after it's like, OK, now it's time for you to suck it up. What? What? No, no, no, no, no, no. You don't suck it up, but you also don't keep things inside. So if I just said something that resonates, I would like for you to write it down. OK. And the number three mistake that hinders your bravery of shining the number 3 is avoiding change because it's uncomfortable.

9:01 Check this out. The brain is always going to take the path of least resistance. And the brain, excuse me, the brain does not like change. It likes to know exactly the same old, same old thing. OK, but let's admit it, when we change, it's uncomfortable because we have to get used to something. That's where I say get comfortable being uncomfortable.

9:35 Before I go on with Part 2 of today's episode, I would like to do a little bit of clean house and remind you to share the podcast with the world. Stroke survivors or not, we are all survivors of something and the podcast is designed for stroke survivors, but it's for the whole wide world. So go ahead and share it because 1.

10:02 You want to share with Sugar Bear and #2 it helps me and it helps the community of stroke survivors around the world. The podcast is ranked top five worldwide in the category of Stroke Survivor Podcast. It is also ranked number six in the United States, 6 out of 30 of the most influential podcasts out there for stroke survivors. So guys, you're listening to a top rated show and you are making it possible.

10:44 You, my listeners, without you, I am nothing. The show is nothing. So thank you, thank you, thank you. Alright, so now we are starting Part 2. Well, this is going to be 3 different ways how you can become more brave after stroke. Now we talk a lot about not comparing that as in we, I mean I talk a lot about not comparing yourself with your prior self because there are two identities.

11:22 There is a prior self, a post stroke, sorry, a pre stroke, a post stroke. One and the other together make you. You can't just be one at this point in your life. I'm sorry my dear, I'm sorry my love, you probably hate me for saying this. I hope that you understand and you see where it's coming from.

11:54 It's coming from a place of acceptance, but it also comes from a place of reclaiming who you are now with the parts of you you loved in the past. If you're someone that wants to work one-on-one with me and personalize what you where you are at in your recovery, please again put info in the comments or you can reach me on any platform.

12:24 I'm going to give you all my info and by saying info I am going to be in touch with you. Alright, so grab that pen and paper again and we are going to talk about little things you can do to become more brave. Well, I talk often about little victories, right? Being 1% better every day. That means that even though you're afraid, you are still doing it. You're still doing that one thing that makes you uncomfortable, that makes you brave. Babe you are kick ass.

13:15 You are being brave even though you think that it's very minute school, very small what you're accomplishing. But I guarantee it's baby steps. A child doesn't start walking without crawling. OK #2 focus on progress, not perfection. Many of you out there are going to say yes, but Karina, I'm a perfectionist.

13:47 Fantastic. But you can't be when you're a stroke survivor, recovering physically, emotionally and mentally, you cannot expect perfection again. You might be upset that I tell you this. So be it. I telling you, you, you have to accept that you are not perfect, but at the same time you are being so freaking brave because you're stepping on your own pride, on your own ego to get that 1% done.

14:29 If that's not badass, I don't know what is. Let me ask you something. Has somebody ever promised you to either go shopping with you or go to the restaurant or see each other for coffee, or cut the grass, take out the garbage? I don't know. But have you ever had someone say something and they didn't follow through?

14:58 How disappointed were you? I don't know about you, but it happened often to me with my mom and I was disappointed and sad every time. So the number three thing is to trust yourself. Yep. To avoid disappointment, you're not relying on anybody else. You're not asking anything to anybody else. You're asking from to yourself. You're making that promise to yourself that you're going to keep on trying and doing.

15:44 You're going to promise yourself that you will not have any more judgment towards you and you're going to love yourself as you are. The way life is right now. It doesn't mean it's going to be like that forever, but you are committed to being brave. I'm going to end today's episode with a little quote that bravery isn't the absence of fear, it's choosing to move forward even though fear is sitting right beside you. Every courageous steps builds your person and you are becoming brave.

16:34 Guys, this is what I have for you today. I hope you enjoyed. Make sure you like, follow, subscribe and you share with Sugar Bear the podcast. That being said, I love you immensely. Thank you so much. Bye.