S11E13: FINDING PURPOSE AFTER NEAR DEATH.( guest, Thayne Martins)

Hello my beautiful stroke survivors, how are you? This is Karina, the host and creator behind Stroke Surviving the Odds of the podcast, where the mission of the show is to help you reclaim your life, reclaim your identity and adapt to this new reality of yours. Now, for those of you who are watching this, you are on YouTube.

Make sure that you ring the bell. You subscribe. If it's free, it's for me. It doesn't cost you anything and it really helps me and my guests out. Absolutely. So do it. Now you know that we are on Spotify, Apple iTunes and Google podcast. So go ahead there, like follow and subscribe also now you know that I've been promising you guys different alternatives, different avenues for you to heal both physically and emotionally from stroke. And today is not going to be any different. Today is going to be a doozy actually. OK, I have a.

Little treat. For you guys, our guest is not only the founder and the CEO of its Pure Love. I love that it's Pure love. He's also the creator of his methodology Ella, and he's going to tell us a little bit about the Ella. OK, One of the things that me and Tain connected on is we have very, very similar missions where we want to help in individuals with returning to balance. And the way he does it, he does a lot of neuroscience, a lot of NLPA, lot of growth.

He uses his expertise, his personal experiences to help you raise your own awareness and help regulate. Stop. Without further ado, I would love to introduce you today's guest, Mr. Tane Martin of It's Pure Love. Thank you so much. I appreciate the opportunity and that was a great introduction. I hope I can match your energy. Thank you.

Thank. You. It's really cool because we before we get into the meat and potatoes of today, I need to tell the audience that me and Tane exchanged a couple of of emails and, and, and entertain. Actually, you have the my energy. That's why we click because I remember you sent me a couple of emails. I said, wow, this guy is like got it going on, but I'm so busy doing my projects that I couldn't give you the whole attention you deserved.

So you do match. We match energies perfectly, you and I. So I thank you very much. Before we get into the meat and potatoes of what is allow, what is, it's pure love what you offer, I would like to know a little bit more about you as a person. OK, me as a person, well, I I was born into a beautiful family. I had a great mother and a great father, older brother, younger sister.

I was raised in an offshoot of Christianity and I had a normal life like you would expect, a little kid. And then at about 8 years of age, my life came crashing down to me. There was a man that had moved into my neighborhood that kind of had ugly ideas involving children. And we'll just kind of leave it at that. And you can understand what happened to me. And sadly, I was routinely abused for a number of years by the same individual and organization. And ultimately, it led to a life of really challenging mental health that led to a lot of poor choices on my part. So most of my life, I showed up as a victim. I was mostly angry at what had happened to me, angry that I didn't get to live a normal

childhood life, like a normal kid could have grown up. And I just showed up that way. And despite all of the work that I had done, I didn't like who I was. I didn't like how I showed up in the world. And I know I had been born kind, but I I had become kind of mean, to be honest. I just wasn't. Yeah. I was ugly.

Yeah, I was a Karen. You know what I mean? I, I, I just, if you were family and friends, I treated you with kindness and love. But if I didn't know you, you didn't matter to me. And and, and with that man, I walked all over you. I it didn't bother me because people walked all over me, right? That's just how I showed up. I was a victim, right?

You have a victim mindset. 100% yeah. And I showed that. Serve you. How did that serve you or having that mental that that mindset, that victim mindset, how did it serve you? It served me right into the hole. That's where it served me. It didn't work, OK, because long term you can't run your life that way.

Because if you do, you're never going to be abundantly happy. You're going to be constantly chasing, constantly trying to achieve something that sadly you can have right now. That's the most beautiful thing is, is when you realize that you can have an amazing life and you don't have to. You don't have to wait for it. It can be right now.

It's a choice that we all make, right, because I had to make that same choice now for me, it was a wake up call, all right. I was involved in a near death experience and when I died, when I came back, I had to go through what stroke victims go through. I had to learn how to talk again. I had to learn how to how to use my muscles because when I drowned, I lost oxygen. I lost the ability for my body to move like it once did. So I, I had to learn.

I had to learn all over again. And it wasn't easy and it, it was challenging and I wanted to give up. But the truth of the matter is that no matter what happens to us in this life, we are never victims. We are always being taught, being taught. Yes, taught as in teaching taught. Yes, absolutely now. I am a stroke survivor.

I don't want to write anything down, so I'm going to pause you one second. What I'm hearing when you talk about your childhood, after what happened, OK, after the different traumas. And I hear a lot of accountability, taking a lot of responsibility for your behaviors. You did not blame others. Yes, but I was used for XY and Z reason.

You did not do that. You said OK, well this is my choices, this is what I want to do right now. And that near death experience woke you up. How? It woke me up to the divine because when I when I died, I was an atheist. OK, I was raised a Christian. I was, I was burned by Christianity. I was abused by Christians.

So it I left, you know, I was angry. I went to church with these people. I was supposed to be able to trust them and they hurt me as a child, right? And then they judged me from moral cleanliness with that's a whole nother story. OK, all right. But ultimately I had a rough relationship with God. OK, I didn't believe at all.

So when I when I drowned in the pool that night, OK, I, I believe nothing. I I thought that you once you die, you die, you going to the ground. That's the end. But can I ask you that's not the case? Can I ask you a hard question, Dane? Anything. When you drowned, how old were you? I was 55. Wow.

This happened August 13th of 2023. Up until the up until you're you're drowning it you're near drown, you're drowning experience, you live the life, for a lack of better word, not as closer as you would have wanted it to a. 100% I was angry and I showed up that way. It's it's a hard question and if you don't want to answer it, it's fine. Was there a part of you that kind of was letting go? I think at that point in my life, I didn't care, you know, So, yeah, I didn't care.

I had tried everything. Look, when you, when, you know, I was abused as a kid, I developed the ugliest mental health known to man, the ugliest, OK. And and I had been diagnosed with really ugly things, ugly, ugly words, and told I would never be healed. I was also told that. Can you, can you give us the words? Never mind that what that's what you were told, but are you able to verbalize it to us?

Because we can't go to the store and say give me a pound of anything. You got to. Say. What we want, Yeah. So I was diagnosed bipolar one. OK, severe ADHD. OK. Complex PTSD with dissociative states OK and then Yep and then the most challenging you're ready the social of identity disorder OK so I was diagnosed with multiple personality disorder it developed in me as a little kid because I was being abused by.

Pedophiles. And and it it. Yep. And my brain did what it was designed to do. It protected me by splitting Yep. So I I actually operated. I had one body, but multiple personalities that ran inside of this body until the night that I drowned. The night that I drowned, I went into that pool as a multiple.

I came out of the pool as one. That is a true story. I. Just got chills dude. I was, yeah. It's the truth. It's the honest truth. And that night I died, and that night I went someplace. And that night I learned a lot. And when I. Came back. When I came back, I had knowledge that that I I All I can say is that I have knowledge of many things that I did not learn in this life. That's all I can say is I have a lot of knowledge that I was. Giving.

I'm stopping you. Wait, wait, wait, wait. You're written too much. Says now. Wait, wait, hello. Wait. OK, I swear to you that I've had this conversation with people that after my stroke I became much more emotionally intelligent than emotionally aware of what happened. I was not like this. Like if you see my content and whatnot, how deep I can get, I was not like that.

But after the stroke, it's almost like, how do you call? Oh yeah, I got. Chills. How do? You call, you know when people come back from coma and all of a sudden they can play Beethoven? Yes, yes. Yes, How do you call that? Yeah. It's like a savant. It's like a savant. It's like a savant type ability, yes. So I'm not alone and and you're not alone. Nope.

Wow. Nope. How do you feel? Well, well, it will. At first I felt like a weirdo. Like at first, like when I came back, I had knowledge about science and molecules and weird things that I don't know a thing about. Yes, fluid. Dynamics. Thermodynamics, like, yeah, weird things. I'm a finance guy, man. I'm a finance and real estate guy and, and, and now I'm talking molecules and, and hormones and bass suppressant. And like it was, it was, it was an awakening like 100%. Like I came back and I had a like, all I can say is my life is completely different today.

And what I do is I is I teach people how to stand back up and find abundant happiness. I don't care how nasty, how ugly things are for you. You can choose to be happy and I can teach you how to do it. One last question. And down we're going. And it's pure love, baby. Were you married before? Yes.

So your wife I had the old you and the new. You, my wife, my wife, bless her heart. That's the most beautiful story of all. Is that one right there? That is that is the most beautiful story of a man and a woman that went through hell together and did not give up on each other. Because trust me, when you're married to a man, that's a multiple things can get a little interesting, and they certainly did for my wife. We've been married 35 years.

I've known her 31. Best decision I ever made was marrying that woman. Wow. So when this epiphany happened, when this transformation happened in you, is that when you realize that, wow, I have a new gift? Yeah, 100%. Like literally the night that I drowned, everything changed for me. OK, I will tell you this, It took me about two years of a lot of pondering, a lot of reflection for me to fully recall everything that I remember when I went on the other side.

And from that is what I've created, which I Live Today. It's called the equation life and abundant happiness. We call it Ella for sure. OK. And it's literally a framework that I taught myself from what I learned on the other side. And it is a revolutionary new way of healing yourself from within.

So I always tell people, I don't heal people. What I do is I teach you how to heal yourself. I love it. And you, Yep. And you heal yourself from within. And the tools that I use, I have two tools, OK? One of them is the word gratitude. OK. The other one is unconditional love. And those two tools right there can heal every human being of every malady and every ugly thing that they have in their thoughts, in their head.

It is unconditional love and gratitude and it's when we experience it, experiential love, experiential gratitude. That's, that's when you heal the soul. That's how I heal that everybody is with unconditional love. That's how you do it. It's not drugs. I had I had 7 pill boxes at the height of my madness under doctor's care, they had me on 7 pill boxes.

So I had 7 rows of seven to manage my days. Morning, noon, night. OK, I rattled when I walked. I had so many pills. OK. Today, zero. I take nothing. I don't need anything. I got everything I need right here. Right here. The love in my heart heals everything. Truth. And I'm guessing that that transformation had to come obviously from within, but you had to go back in time on your timeline and go back to that child you were beforehand that you loved that with with your parents. Yep, where?

You. Felt. Yep, where I felt. Yeah, that's exactly right. That's exactly right. I had to remove all of the self living beliefs and things that I had adapted as fact that were actually just stories, right? That's, that's what holds us back in life. You know, we call them self living beliefs. Like we hear those phrases and when people hear it, they, they, they, they stiffen up because they know it's not a good thing. But the reality is that they came from our childhood. We all have them.

They all came from our childhood when we as children wrote a story about something that happened and we wrote the story and sadly it wasn't the right story. OK, our immature brains wrote the story, then we embellished the story and then the story became fact and then the story became a self looming belief. And now I'm 50 something years old and I'm still being encumbered by a belief that came when I was seven years old before I even knew how to manage long term decision making. OK, that's we all have them and every single self living belief that we have keeps us from living our fullest potential. And what most people don't realize, they have no idea that of what they are and that they're being limited. That's the truth because our

subconscious minds are so incredibly powerful. If your brain doesn't want you to see something, it doesn't, you never see it. So how many things are in your life that you don't know about? Because I had a gazillion things in my life as I started healing from within. I had no idea how many things that were out of balance in my life. But when you learn to balance from here. Yeah, sorry, sorry.

How did you feel? Like, did you feel guilty when you realized that you had to heal and the parts of you that were kind of just broken or, you know, scratched off? Yeah, did. You feel guilty. How did you feel at that moment? Yeah. Yeah, of course I did. Yeah. I mean, part of part of getting over your crab is ownership of it. That's called accountability, OK? And the truth of the matter is, every single one of us knows right from wrong.

Every single one of us. We all know when we do something we're not supposed to, OK? But we do it anyways. And that's the human experience, right? That's that's called agency. And that's a gift. OK, That that that gift you have called agency is the most beautiful thing in the world because it's going to it's going to teach you through the rest of your life.

Your agency is how you learn and grow. OK. So what that means is in life, we're going to have setbacks. We're going to have negative things happen to us. Most of my life, I played the victim's story. I showed up that way, OK, But then you become the victim and you keep playing the story. And that's what I did almost my entire life until I drowned in the pool and I completely reset. Yep.

Wow, that I have to say, like you're reminding me about the pool now and I got goosebumps again, you know, not of you drowning, but you have rejuvenating of coming back out. Wow, wow, wow. I teach people. I teach people how to be happy for a living today. That's what my company is. It's purelove.com is a neuroscience company. We use neuroscience techniques to change your underlying behavior, right?

Because look, the reality is we can do all the brain work we want. I did therapy. Decades, decades of therapy. Okay, the reality is until you retrain the body and and the nervous system to a new story, you are going to stay stuck. And that's why we focus on the nervous system. We don't focus on the brain.

The brain will fix itself. You got to fix the you got to help. Yeah, because it's it's usually like for me, I would do all of the processing in the world. But when I would hit a trigger, you see, when I would hit a trigger, which was real for me, maybe it was a picture that reminded me of a man that hurt me.

OK. And that's all I needed was that trigger. And then I would go down the rabbit hole, right? I would disassociate. I would disappear. And it was simply because my nervous system had identified something in the field that reminded him of a person that hurt me when I was a kid. So when I had when I had these challenging mental health things, I would hit a trigger and then my nervous system would dissociate. My nervous system would say.

How do you work work through it? So you, you, you have to live through the experience, OK? So the way that you retrain the body is through lived experience. People don't learn by reading, you learn by doing. That's why in my course you do OK. We have 101 carefully designed, psychologically driven exercises that are all designed around safety #1 because if it's not safe, nobody's going to do it. The second thing is, though, it's designed to make you slightly uncomfortable.

Because when you're slightly uncomfortable, that's when your brain goes, oh, we better start paying attention. It learns when it's awake, when it's paying attention. So every exercise is designed for you to go, oh, I better pay attention. I'm not sure I'm going to like this. Yep, that's true. You know, the other thing that you did, you predicted failure to average. I also wanted you to do that.

OK? Because then what's going to happen is when you complete this exercise, it ends in happiness, pro social emotions, kindness. OK, So what ends up happening is the body predicts average of failure, but you got success, kindness, gratitude. OK, well, if you do it right, when the memory consolidation window is opened, you can rewrite the story in the body. And that's what we do.

OK, so every exercise you're going to have a little bit of risk, and then every single exercise is going to end in love, kindness, and connection. So what it does is it rewrites the story in the body. OK so instead of always serving up fear, now the body goes wait a minute, I could have served up fear. But now I realize that calm, cool and collected is actually a better way to play this because I'm a 58 year old man, not an 8 year old little boy.

OK I got this. So I just needed to rewrite the story in the nervous system and my nervous system was so screwed up that all the medication and all the therapy in the world wouldn't fix my nervous system. So I fixed my nervous system and the thing upstairs that I met when I died taught me how to do it, and that's what I teach. So Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God. I guess we could go like back and forth. OK, It's what what, what again, like the I took an NLP course. I'm a neuro linguistic practitioner and. I love that.

But Neuro linguistic is about the head and I love that you're more in the. I'm in the body, baby. The nervous system, yeah, I'm in your body. You're in the body. So yes, when you practice the techniques of Neuro Linguistic and what you practice, it's like, hello, you're transforming your life. I am exactly doing that and I'm giving you something that sticks, right. I, I can't tell you how many programs I signed up for and took that were great and I came away feeling like amazing. But then six months later, a year later, I was right back to my same old closed off, you know, not showing up, not being 100%.

That's how it shows up. OK, so the difference is this. You have to reset the nervous system. And when you reset the nervous system and you realign fear to have a new story, now your body works for you instead of against you. My brain doesn't serve up triggers. My brain serves up glimmers. My brain shows me how amazing I am.

OK, And I'll take glimmers any day of the week to a trigger that used to stop me in my tracks. OK. How did I go from triggers to glimmers? By rewriting my nervous system. And I did that with neuroscience. Neuroscience is how we heal ourselves. OK? That's how I healed myself. It was through lived experiences.

Think of it like this. OK, if you have a problem with anger, all right, and I'm an explosive like I used to be the worst. OK, explosive anger was my go to emotion. You got in my way and weren't in the right. You know, I was going to blow up and and you would scatter to get out of my my wrath. OK, so typically people that have anger problems have an overactive amygdala and an under active prefrontal cortex.

OK, So what it means is their nervous system has has gone so far to the left that it is protecting them from everything. So everything is a threat. That is an overactive amygdala and it's lying to you and it's also screwing up your life because you can retrain your amygdala and you can retrain your prefrontal cortex. It just takes practice.

It's a skill you can learn to do it. I learned how to do it, OK, because I was a former hot hat. Now I use you're. You're going to laugh when I show you this. This is a bracelet. You see that bracelet? Yeah. Yeah. I teach anger management with this bracelet. OK. OK. I can I can train anger out of you in 48 hours with this bracelet.

Seriously. OK. You will not be a hot head. It's called cognitive pattern interrupt, OK? Yeah, Yep. Cognitive pattern interrupt sequence. Right. So the way that it works is every time you feel anger, you begin shaking this bracelet, OK? You hear that clicking? OK, those little balls are weighted on this bracelet by design, OK?

They stimulate the body. When I send the command to my my wrist to begin shaking the bracelet, it disconnects the thought and the amygdala. So the amygdala had the thought, which was I'm angry and I'm about ready to explode on you. But the minute I start shaking my bracelet, when I send that command to my wrist, the amygdala disengages and the prefrontal cortex is what comes online.

And that's where I can rationally think. So right now I'm pissed off and angry and that's why I'm shaking my bracelet, which is calming me down. And I realized that at this moment that if I play anger, that's not going to end well for anybody here. So I need to stay calm, cool and collected and play a different emotion. I don't need to hold on to anger. OK, I'm good.

OK, so I just walked through an amygdala hijacking using my bracelet, remaining calm, rationally processing it, and I didn't lose my crap. OK. If you do that multiple times over a short period of time, it will become your default. You won't escalate, you won't get angry. So you have to practice getting pissed off. That's the truth.

OK, so I got to put this bracelet on you. I got to teach you the sequence, and then I need to give you some exercises that are going to deliberately make you angry so that you can practice balancing your anger energy real time. Yes. Shake your bracelet. Exactly. You don't even have a bracelet, and you're starting to do it because you know that this works. This is how you change.

This is how you change human beings. You have to change the nervous system, right? You got to change the brain, but you will never change the human until you change the nervous system. And there's something fun about doing this, you know, you're doing it with purpose. You're doing it with purpose and intention. There's something to me.

I see it as I'm taking control. You are 100%. You're taking your power back from the bottom. Remember this, the thoughts, everybody schizophrenic, every human being is schizophrenic. We have two voices, OK? There is the voice of the soul, OK? You know, it's the voice of the soul because it's always positive, OK? Any negative thought you have always comes from your subconscious mind and your body.

End of discussion, OK. And the reason you know that is because your soul would never say anything bad about itself. It's not possible, OK? So that means that every single one of us has a higher voice inside of us that can tell that lower voice. Not today, OK, because I'm in charge. I'm the observer of my thoughts.

I am the observer of my body. I am the observer of my subconscious mind. When I choose the position observer, I also take control of my power and I separate my behavior, which comes from the body, separate from me the observer. You see, that's called metacognition, the highest form of intelligence.

And anybody can learn this. OK, I teach. I teach it in my course. That's what I teach in my course. Be intimidated by 101 activities. To help. Reset the 101 activities to be set the nervous system. But when you think about it and you do it, we do that naturally, like 101. Yeah. So the way that they work is you do them, you pull 2 cards a week. OK, So after you go through my program, you're not going to do all the cards in my care.

There's too many of them. Exactly. Yeah. Yep. So you pull 2 cards a week, you randomly pull them from the deck, OK. And you go play whatever, whatever that card is. That's the card you're supposed to go play. OK, so I'm going to give you guys and your audience a special gift today, OK? I'm going to give you an exercise.

It's called Gratogram. And this is what I'm going to ask everybody to do, because if you do this, you're going to have an absolutely beautiful, beautiful experience, OK? So this is how it works. It's called gratogram. And what I want you to do is to take out your phone, OK? And you're going to hit record, all right?

And you're going to record a selfie video for two minutes in length, and then you're going to send that 2 minutes unscripted video to three people who have significantly influenced your life, OK? Three people that have made a positive influence on you. And then you're going to record a video and then you're going to send it, OK?

And they don't know it's coming. It's randomly going to show up in their day. Now when I ask you to record a video without retaking it, some people get a little bit nervous, OK? That's what we call first awareness. That's actually a sign of a self limiting belief. So if you're struggling thinking I have to record something and I can't retake it, that tells me you also have a little bit of perfectionism going on there.

And that's something we need to work on, OK? Because you should not have any anxiety about recording something one time. OK. Yep. So now we're going to record the video and it goes like this. I'm going to use use as my example. OK, OK, so I'm going to hit record like this. OK. All right. Hey, Karina, it's thing.

I know it's been a long time since I sent you a video. In fact, I think it's probably the first video that I've sent you. But I want you to know how much you mean to me. And I know I haven't known you a very long time. I've only known you a short time. But every time that I've interacted with you, I always come away feeling like a better person, like a little bit of love came from you and rubbed off on me. And, and I'm grateful for that because I know as difficult as this world is, I need all that love as regularly as I can get it.

And you're the person that shows up in the, in my life that always does that for me. So I want to thank you right now from the bottom of my heart for being the human that you are, for putting the love that you put in the world, for touching me and helping me have the life that I live. I, I'm grateful for you. I know doing a podcast isn't easy and I know that often times we put in a lot of work and we don't even get paid. But I want you to know that I appreciate you because you created a platform where people can share their messages and make us all grow together.

So that didn't happen if it wasn't for you. So I want you to know one heart to the other, how much I love you. I appreciate you, and I hope that you have a spectacular day. Oh, OK, now you send that. You send that video, and then you watch what happens. OK, In about an hour, you might as well go get yourself some Kleenex because you're going to get the most beautiful videos back from these people. OK, Now, how did you feel before you started gratogram? Examine your heart.

All right, now record those 3 videos. Examine your heart. How do you feel right now? Full of love. Yeah. So by exercising and creating love anonymously in the world, I just lifted my heart from a place of neutral or negative. I brought it out of the ugly into happiness by creating happiness, OK. And then I sent those and I didn't make them perfect. Like I, I usually like to be perfect, but I didn't, I let it go and I was authentic, OK?

And then look what I got back. I got these videos from people and they're going to make you cry, OK? Because they're going to pour their love back into you and then your heart's going to be full. And then I want you to ask yourself a question two hours later. Now when I get that last third video from my friend, it just ended.

How do you feel right now after getting that final video back? Because chances are you're going to be teared up, OK? And that is experiential neuroscience. And that is 1 of 100 exercises that are all just like that one. You see, love is the greatest teacher. So is gratitude, So is connection, empathy.

So there's 101 exercises just like Gratogram, where you're going to be creating love and kindness and connection with people throughout the world. And when you do that, it fills your heart and it changes who you are and it changes how you show up. You can't be angry when your heart is full of love. I love that.

I love it. It's beautiful. Thank, thank you so much for having grown into all of these techniques that you're sharing. And I for for one, I am going to do it and I think that we don't need to send it to people that we know necessarily we could send it to like I have 4900 friends on. Facebook you pick somebody and you make a difference. OK.

You pick somebody and make it random, right? Make it random. They don't know it's coming. They don't know it's coming. And and then here's the beautiful thing about gratitude, OK, gratitude ripples and it ripples forever. So when you send that video and it goes to that person and they watch that video, you just touch their heart. That person's going to show up differently the rest of the day, OK?

When they go home, when they go home and see their family, they're going to be in a better mood. Why? Because their their their heart is full of love, that love that you created. So now I go home and instead of creating a typical meal, I make a really beautiful meal for my family today because I'm so grateful for my family and for the love that I got from my friend Karina who. Sent me a video that love yours.

So cool. So now I've rippled, you see, rippled. And. And that's how gratitude is. It's a ripple and it ripples to the next person and the next person and the next person. It never stops. Right when I died, I went through life review. I will tell you that one of the most important things that you have to understand is that everything that we do lasts forever, OK?

Every unkind word we speak stays in existence forever, OK. Once it creates, it comes out in the form of sound. It's stays there forever, so that means the good things. What do you want that word to be? That's right. That's exactly right. So as you live your life, understand that everything you do lasts forever. Everything ripples forever.

So the key is to live in perfect balance where they where my positives out always. And they get to. That's right. You want to be neutral, right When you die, you want to die neutral. That means that you understand the power of negative energy just like God, because that's how that's how you got taught negative energy. Yeah.

Not negative energy isn't always bad. It's it's a. Teacher, I have one question for you because, OK, I think that we all know one person that could benefit from your teachings. And I have one in particular that I'm thinking about because that's how deeply wound the nervous system is for that person.

How could a person not want how like, I believe like you, we need to be on get comfortable being uncomfortable, right? Get comfortable being uncomfortable. That's the only way you get to grow. And some people just don't want because they're so afraid. Why do people want to change? And some people are so afraid that they don't. And and that's what I still can't understand. It it goes back to the sense of safety. OK, sometimes I'm better off.

Like I can't tell you how many times I've heard people say to me, I would rather have my shitty, crappy life and know what it is then venture out into the unknown. And honestly, that's what keeps people stuck so much is when is when they're the they're willing. And it's also part of this is all I'm worthy of.

This is all I deserve. I don't deserve more than this. Yes. Yeah, that self worth is what keeps people stuck in in, in that ugliness more than anything. Like that's that's one of the biggest things that I see. So the truth of the matter is, look, we can all heal all of the mental health challenges that we have can all be healed through love and gratitude when we experience it. OK, I'm not talking about it.

I'm I'm meaning it, do it, put it into the world, right? So 2 operative words, love, gratitude, and what would be the third word today you are using? Love, gratitude, awareness. That would be mine. Because if you're aware, you're in good shape. You're in, you're in good shape if you're aware. Because if you're not aware, you can't take advantage of the beauty that exists in the present. Makes sense.

Makes perfect sense. Listen, if you want, you're more than welcome. We'll do a Part 2 to our interview. I will, I would love to do a Part 2 just let me know. When you like, you know where, where, where you are in life and, and, and, and where I am. And if there's people that want to join in. And I mean, you just have so much knowledge and so much faith. Thank you.

I did not have faith though. I've. Yeah. You do right now. Yeah, you do right now. 100 percent, 100% yes. You. Do I want everybody listening? I want everybody listening to know this. You are perfect exactly the way you are, OK? And know that you are loved in perfection exactly the way you are, OK? And know that no matter what has happened in the past, you can, you can stand up above it and it doesn't have to become who you are.

And that's the truth, right? Anybody can heal. I spent 55 years of my life as a victim, OK? I'm 58 today. These last three years been the best three years of my life, right? Because I learned how to you. Guys hear this? Did you guys? Learn how to love unconditionally from within. Learn how to love yourself.

Love yourself. You got to love yourself before loving others. You got to give to yourself before giving to others. It's OK to be a little selfish. Yes, yes, yes. Because at the end of the day, you're just going to bloom like a flower. Ten. It was amazing finally meeting you on. Video It took us a while.

Sir, I want you to come back, but I do know that you have another appointment to attend to tend to, and I'm going to let the audience stoke in all the information that you gave. I can't wait to publish this episode, but we just need to make it perfect. Guys, remember to do Tain's gratitude and how do you call it?

But the exercise, the gratitude exercise, you take your cell phone and you record a video to three different people that you know or you don't know. You record one take only. OK, that's the underline. One take only. Don't cheat. OK, That's right. Remember to right follow subscribe on any platform you're listening to. Hit the bell on YouTube.

Yeah, yeah, YouTube. And I am going to be reaching you guys later, OK? Love you. Thank you everybody. Take care.

S11E13: FINDING PURPOSE AFTER NEAR DEATH.( guest, Thayne Martins)

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