S9E28: 7 Mental distortions after stroke.

Beautiful survivors, how are you? This is. Karina, the hosting. Creator behind stroke surviving the. Odds of the podcast? The show is all about. Moving forward. Past the events. Of the stroke here you're going to see that there is so much more life to live. After I share all my. Tricks. Hacks.

How? I got to survive this world. As a survivor. Myself, yes. In 1999. I was 25 years old. I suffered a brain. STEM dissection that led me to coma Interlochen syndrome. Obviously I am. Here today sharing everything with. You guys. Today is going to. Be a doozy. A great. Episode Grab yourself a pen and paper, because the faintest of ink is better than the best memory.

Come and join me here. As we are working. On the. Seven mental distortion that happened after stroke. Grab yourself a pen and. Paper guys and a drink. I'm serious. I'll see you here in 2 minutes. Before I commence the show officially, I want you guys to like. Follow subscribe on. All in any platforms that I'm.

On that you're. Listening to your. Podcast that's. Spotify. ITunes, Apple, Google. Pod chasers stroke. Surviving the odds. Is all over. Because Spotify takes. Care of my. Distribution guys, I. Also have a. Subscription here in. Spotify where? You only pay. $4.99 and you get. All the best episodes.

That helped me in the last. 27 years. Move forward. So I want you to also have that chance. Give yourself that chance. I also. Have an ebook? Called. Reclaim your identity after stroke. I will. Leave you more. Information about that later on in 2021 when I. Started the podcast. There was a mission behind. It and it was for me to make.

One person feel. Better around the world I did not. Care where I did not care how, all I wanted is. To. Ease the pain. Of at least one person. Turns out. This podcast. Is top five worldwide. So obviously I'm. It's helping more. Than one person. I'm very. Proud of that. And without. You my listeners.

There will not be any stroke surviving the odds. I keep telling you guys this. I am so grateful for all of you guys. Make sure that you leave me in the. Comments any? Special episode any? Topics. You want me to address? If I am not yet, I know that. I've done 240. Ish episodes so far. I'm sure I missed. A few topics.

So don't be shy. Go ahead. And ask me in the comments or. In the description. I'm going to write all my different. Links for where? You can find me. I'm very, very. Present on social. Media just. Find the same title stroke, surviving the odds, the same logo. I wanted to keep everything cohesive.

For stroke. Survivors around the. World. To find it easy. Find a group. Easy. Find the podcast easily so everything is the same. And. Soon I'm going. To be having some merch. So I'm very, very happy and. Excited about that? Can you believe that? I'm almost at. Season. 10 guys that. Is unbelievable because I never. I did not know.

If I was going to stay, if I was going to like it. If I was. Going to. Create the impact I was hoping for. And I mean. This is well. Above and beyond. What I expected so. Thank you again. I need to mention a couple of personal things. I am bird. Sitting my cousin's bird and. Yoko is very. Vocal. So you might hear some chirping behind me and I also. Have a.

Yorkie Schnauzer here with me. Einstein, my podcasting mate and. He's also very vocal. Apparently. We're a very vocal family, so. Don't be scared if you hear something. Behind I also. Want you guys. To know I am baking. Bread. Yes, I love making bread at this time of year. My house. Smells so.

Good guys. I can't wait for it to come out. With some butter and a little bit of peanut butter and a nice. Cup of coffee. Oh, I wish you were here and we could. Share that together. But you know what? You are here, we are together, we are. Together forever. I am not going anywhere. And I don't think you are too.

I need you here with me. Let's do this. Together, that said, we. Are going to talk. About today's topic, I told. You in my. Earlier episodes that. In at. 38 years old. I went. I was. Seeing a social worker. And she saw that there was many How can I say things in my. Story that. Were not cohesive and that were bothersome and troublesome and she. Got me.

To see a. Psychiatrist that eventually. Because I have a. Very heavy childhood. And which with. All kinds of. Generational trauma. Turns out. That at 30. Eight, I was diagnosed having bipolar borderline. Bipolar and borderline. Double personality. So I have my 15 minutes of crying in a little tantrum in. The doctor's office.

What? What, what are you talking about? Because I thought I was super Karina. I thought I could deal with. This by myself. I didn't. I knew. Something was wrong. But I didn't think it was that wrong. Anyways, at the end I asked the doctor. All right, enough. Tell me. What I have to do to get rid of? This.

That those were the. Exact words that I said I want to get rid of it. Well. It turns out that, just like a stroke, we can't get rid of a diagnosis. But we can't ease it. We can manage it and that's what I want. Today's episode to be. All about managing those 7. Distortions that our. Brains make.

So grab your. Pen and paper like I mentioned because. These are important. Maybe you're going to want to sit. Back, relax. And download the. Episode that way. Next time you can take notes. But today you. Just want to listen. That's OK too. That's the beauty of stroke surviving everything. Is OK because there is no wrong or right. Everything is what?

You want it to be. So you guys ready? We're going to do this. The number one. Distortion, we all. Do. And wait until I explain it and then you'll understand and. Maybe. You'll find yourself. In some of these. I know I did in a. Lot of these. The first one is. Called all or nothing mindset. Distortion, everything is.

Black. And white. There's no Gray areas, there's only either. Failure or being. Perfect. You're not. Giving yourself any. Room to maneuver. That is. Mental distortion #1. If that's you. Let me know. Number 20 La La. This is meek totally mind reading. We jump to conclusions. We assume let's say.

Your boss calls you in the office. And you're like assuming you did. Something. Wrong. And you're assuming you're fired. And you're assuming you're the worst employee. Ever or if. Somebody in front of the grocery line gives you a look. But it's not. A look to you personally, it's a look, period.

You're gonna. Take it personal, mind reading. Is assuming again. The worst and. Assuming everything is your fault. And if they're. Looking at me weird, it's because it's me. What's? Wrong with me. If that's you. Let me know #2. The third one. Is the should statement. Oh, Madonna, the should. Statement is. When you have.

Unrealistic expectations. Of yourself. When you say you're going to. Clean the garage. Do the laundry. Walk the dog. Go to the doctor and the. Groceries and. You make yourself. A shit. Long. List those. Are unrealistic expectations. Then you feel. Guilty because you. Weren't able. To do everything. You only walked the dog.

Maybe. And did the grocery and the. Doctor and there's. Still the rest and you feel so guilty. And you're. Pounding on your head and you're. Like I'm a loser. I'm so ashamed. Maybe you? Even have resentment over yourself. Because you're thinking I. Should do this. I should be able. To tie my shoes. I.

Should be able to. Put my jacket. On the should statement I. Learned the hard. Way. The should statement. Because of its. Unrealistic expectation guys. You're setting. Yourself up for? Disappointment. I'm sorry to. Say I learned this the hard way, so I was guilty of. This. Wanting him. I felt like. Nothing I ever did was enough.

I. Should. Be able to. Do more? I think that. This is a distortion that each and every. Stroke survivor has. Out there. And again, it's not. Realistic you're putting. Pressure on yourself for nothing. You're disappointed, You're cranky, you're bitchy with other people. Never mind the shame and the guilt you.

Feel for yourself. OK. The first one is minimizing. You know. When we wear. Binoculars. We can either make things. Bigger or. Make things smaller, well. Your distortion is the. Other way? When you make things bigger, it's. Bad. No, sorry, sorry. When you make. Things bigger? It's good and when you make things smaller, it's. Bad.

I'll give. You an example maybe? When you were a kid. You would come home with an exam that you did and you had 95%, which is crazy amazing, right? But instead of. Focusing on the 95. Wow. You're. Focusing on the 5% that you missed, I. Should have. Been able. To to to get 100%. I should have gotten 100%.

I'm a loser. I didn't. I didn't study enough, I didn't express myself enough to my husband. That I got a divorce and. Everything is my fault. Not. Everything is your fault. Not everything is 1. Person's fault. In the world. You're. Putting the weight of the world. On your shoulders, you know that.

And. The thing is. That. If ever you leave this world. The world is still going to go. Round and round. You're just. Not going to be in it to see it. But when you. Don't minimize things. And you see. Things and you're. Proud of yourself. Wow, I. Didn't man 90? 5%. I never. Thought I could get that.

And I did it. You are savouring those little victories. I keep talking about. You are. Savouring life. You are. Living to the maxed but when you only focus on minimizing and on the bad. And you? Should have you're only. Existing. You're not any better. Than a piece of driftwood, a beautiful piece of.

Driftwood on the on the, on the, on the banks, on the riverbanks. Or the ocean banks. It's beautiful, but it's not doing. Anything. It's not alive, it's just taking room. It's just taking space. You want to live. You want to be like the. Ocean in the. River. You want a current. You want. Energy.

You want life? OK. Distortion #5 is emotional reasoning. I'm guilty. Of this too. Guys. I have. I told you I have a very heavy childhood up until. I'm 1516 years old and then I had the. Stroke so. You figure. It out. I trust my intuition a lot and obviously too much. Having emotional reasoning distortion. Feels like.

If I if my. Stomach is upside. Down right now. There has. To be something. Wrong. My stomach is never wrong. So something has to be true. I have. I have a headache or I have a backache. Or people. Look at me. Funny or that's. How I feel. Anyways, you know. That's what you're thinking. It must be true.

If they look at me weird, it must be true. There must be something wrong with me. How many stroke? Survivors think like that. Whether you're walking. You walk with a limp. You walk with a cane. You walk. In a wheelchair, you lost your hair. You have an. Hearing aid. You lost a finger, you have a. Blue fingernail People are looking at me funny. It must be me.

Could it? Be that it's. Not you. Could it be that it's? Them could it? Be that you're wrong. How many times? Do you say? I have a bad. Feeling about this, sometimes we need to follow our. Intuition when it comes to business. Or. When it comes to. Some days I've gotten in the car and I've actually gotten out of the car saying I have a bad feeling about being on the road today and that.

Was me being. Distorted I missed. Out on that day, I'm never going to get that. Particular day back, but I was. So sure. That it was a bad day to be outside of the house. That I let myself in the house and stay in the house. I missed out. I don't want you to miss out. Number six. Is mental filtering our brain?

Is really, really interesting it. Has. Three different major components it either. It distorts it. Deletes. That means it's forgets completely. It puts. Never mind putting. Things on the back burner. The brain. Forgets. So when? You have mental. Filtering you focus. On the negative aspect of things and you never. Look at the good of a situation.

Kind of. What I was talking about when the boss calls you in the. Office. Oh my God. He called me in the office and then it. Escalates from there. In your mind, Oh my God, he called me in the office. It must be to fire me. I'm the bad the word. Maybe your boss is calling you in the office to tell.

You. You've been doing. A good job lately and he's. He's very. Happy with your performance. Could it be just it is a? Possibility. Maybe that's. Not the case. But it is or the. Doctor. Calls you because he wants. To see me. He. The I, I. Didn't have an appointment scheduled. But the doctor's office called me. It has to be something bad, right? You're you're you're you're doing 2-3 different, 2-3 different distortions just.

With that. Thought the Doctor's. Office call me. Must be something. Bad. The doctor never calls when there's good news. Maybe your doctor is different. Have you ever? Thought about that. You know. How not every? Stroke. Is the same. For every survivors. We all experience. It in our own. Ways and each stroke is different. Well.

Each doctor is different. You know when I had my stroke 27 years ago, Four different doctors. Went to my husband and said no. She's not going to come back. She's either going to come back and be. Excused. I don't know what the correct term. Is right now but Karina. Would either. Not come back.

Or be in a vegetative state. Yet when he met the 5th. Doctor. The 5th Doctor. Gave him hope and said. The brain is going to create new neural. Pathways, there is hope. Don't give up hope. He's the only. Doctor, that was. Different. Could it be that your. Doctor is calling you in the. Office to simply. Follow up with.

You and give. You good news. That your test results. Came in and he wanted. To let you know 'cause he knows you've been. So stressed lately. Because you think you have. High cholesterol and. Your blood pressure. Has been high and you've. Been thinking that. Maybe you're going to have. Another stroke you're.

Feeling it in your gut something. Is going to happen. Maybe the doctor knows that and. He decided. To call you to let you know that. Your blood work. Came in and everything is. OK, you don't. Have cholesterol? And. Again, he knew. You were stressed. Out. He doesn't want your blood. Pressure to go. High.

More than it already is, because he knows that blood. Pressure is a. Cause of stroke. So what he. Decided to do is to maximize the good news and to say, you know what, just to prevent we are going to put. You on medication? You know, there's doctors like that, guys. There's more uncooperative doctors.

Than there is good but there. Is good guys. There is. Good. Be open to that. And last but not least. Is. Personalization. I am. Still guilty of that I'm. Controlling it better. Because I know I'm aware of it. But I still think. Many things are my fault. I don't say I'm. Sorry a lot. Because I'm capable of noticing when other people are constantly saying they're. Sorry, but you know.

How I've mentioned time and time again how stroke. Survivors. Tend to think that everything is about them and I'm still guilty of that. I don't think it's at this. Point in my life. The stroke. I think it's. Just. Part of my. Personality, now that. I need to control it. I had a. Conversation with my.

My boyfriend and we're talking about something unrelated. To us. And he says to me, Karina. Why? Do you always bring everything? Back to you. That's how I knew. I was doing. Personalization. That's when I decided, OK, no more this is. Like, I really like this guy. I love. This guy I want to be with. This guy forever.

So I'm going to stop this shit because it's going to. Annoy him and in reality it's also annoying me and I know not everything is about. Me. He's we're talking about a story. About something else and not everything is my fault. Not. Everything is your fault, my love. Shit happens. Don't think the stroke was your fault.

Don't drink. Don't think. Bad news, bad looks, bad faces. Until someone comes to. You and tells. You point blank what's going on? It is not. Your. Fault, you know. Innocent until proven guilty, this is what's. Happening here. You are making. Yourself feel guilty before. Discovering you are. Innocent.

Do you hear Einstein behind? Me, oh La La. So guys, this is what I have for you today. I hope. You enjoyed I hope you're going to take notes. Make sure you. Download the episode. You share the episode. And I will. Be seeing you very. Soon I love. You bye.

S9E28: 7 Mental distortions after stroke.

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