He Came Back to Kill Me: Alisa Mathewson Part 1

0:01Elizabeth Smart Today's story includes discussion of sensitive topics including kidnapping, sexual assault, and graphic descriptions of violence. Listener discretion is advised.

0:14Alisa Mathewson I got startled awake at 3 a.m. I could just feel that there was someone in my room. And I just started screaming.

0:28Elizabeth Smart Elisa Mathewson wakes in total darkness. There is a presence in the room, not a sound, not a shadow she can explain, just the certainty that she is not alone.

0:40Alisa Mathewson He climbs on top of me and suffocates me with a pillow. I remember taking like my last bit of air from under that pillow and just thinking, I'm going to meet Jesus. I thought I was dead.

1:01Elizabeth Smart My name is Elizabeth Smart. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped from my home and held captive for nine months.

1:09Alisa Mathewson I survived.

1:11Elizabeth Smart Now I'm on a journey to uncover how other people survived the moments that should have destroyed them in their own words. One thing I've learned is the darkest chapter is rarely the first. For Elisa, the story that brings a man into her bedroom in the middle of the night is actually begin sweetly, even romantically, with a smitten teenage boy. How did you meet Trevor?

1:39Alisa Mathewson He noticed me at a Christmas party when we were in high school.

1:46Elizabeth Smart In 1995, Elisa is a teenager in suburban Philadelphia when she first meets Trevor Summers. They go to the same school but move in different circles until one night at a Christmas party.

2:01Alisa Mathewson He took a bow off of the door and put it on himself. And he had turned around and said, you know, he was going to be my Christmas present. And I was just, yeah, it's really quirky. And he asked me out later. I told him I was not interested. Oh, so you weren't interested initially. Okay.

2:23Elizabeth Smart What changed your mind later?

2:24Alisa Mathewson After my freshman year of college, I was home and he got my phone number from a friend and he was just very persistent. He kept calling and asking me to go out with him. And eventually I caved in and out with him.

2:40Elizabeth Smart And do you remember, like, when were you like, oh, I think I kind of like him actually?

2:46Alisa Mathewson I was home on summer break and, you know, he just continually pursued me, wanted to spend time with me every day. And I enjoyed that attention. Then when it came time for me to go back to school, he kind of convinced me to move home to go to a school closer so we could be together. It was very quick that summer of dating him. It just seemed like my entire life revolved around him.

3:15Elizabeth Smart Elisa and Trevor date for about three years, and in 2001, when she's just 21 years old, the couple decides to get married. So how would you describe the early years of your marriage?

3:30Alisa Mathewson It was an adventure. He made it out that everything we were doing was, you know, great, grandiose. We're going to have this wonderful life together. You just have to trust me. Trevor is ambitious. He starts a landscaping and pool design company. Then he tries his hand at real estate. But really, he sees himself as an entrepreneur. He had done a lot of, he would start a business and then, you know, jump into another business.

4:05Elizabeth Smart Elisa and Trevor have two children and she becomes a stay-at-home mom, devoting her days to raising the children and caring for their home. But as their family grows... so does a feeling Elisa can't quite shake, a growing unease. When you were at home, how did you feel inside? Like, what was that feeling like? It was as if I could never be enough. He had to have things a certain way. He just kept moving that goalpost.

4:41Alisa Mathewson And I just, you know, tried my hardest to be a good wife, a good mother, to make him happy. And it just, I could never measure up to his level.

4:55Elizabeth Smart Have you ever felt like no matter how hard you try, you just can't get it right? For Elisa, that feeling becomes part of everyday life. No meal is ever good enough. The house is never clean enough. Even the smallest task can leave her feeling like she's failed.

5:16Alisa Mathewson Every day he needed a fresh batch of iced tea. And it was never sweet enough. It was never, you know, the right way. Like, you can't do anything right.

5:28Elizabeth Smart Elisa feels like she's living on an emotional edge. Trevor keeps a tight grip, monitoring where she goes, who she speaks to, what she wears, and how she spends her time. After a few years, Elisa can't take it anymore.

5:46Alisa Mathewson When we had our first two children, I tried to leave then. I went into Christian counseling, and a lot of the things that I was seeing as a concern were treated as, you need to pray. You need to pray for your husband. You need to pray for this situation. We got to go into couples counseling together. And he would start adjusting his behavior, but it would only last for so long. And then he'd up and move us to another city. And then it would start again, and I'd have to go back to the church to say, you know, I don't know what it is my husband's hiding, lying, what it is he's doing, but something is not right.

6:34Elizabeth Smart Trevor also keeps the family moving from town to town. But Elisa is never sure where their money is coming from. He's always talking about a new deal, even claims to have millions in an offshore account. But Elisa can never tell what's real and what's a lie. And with each new town they move to, Elisa is left starting over without the friendships or support that might help her recognize the pattern. Two children become three. then four, then five.

7:10Elizabeth Smart And as Trevor moves the family across the country, Elisa's world grows smaller and she's increasingly confined to the home.

7:19Alisa Mathewson He controlled everything because he moved me away from my family. So I was completely dependent on him. He would decide when I'd get money for groceries. He would decide if I had access to a phone or a car. He decided all of those things. He would go to the church and tell the church, she needs to focus on the home. She needs to focus on the children. She can't be out running about and doing this and that. So, you know, the church really looked at it as I needed to submit. And if there was something wrong going on, I needed to pray about the situation.

7:59Elizabeth Smart What about your children? Was he trying to manipulate them as well? Like, what was that like?

8:06Alisa Mathewson Yes, they were very limited on what outside influence and access they had as well. There was only certain things they could want, certain things they could do. And to me, it looked like they were trying to measure up to the standard that he had set for them as well. I mean, do you think they were under the same kind of strain that you felt? Looking back now, I see that they were trying to do everything possible to make him happy, which was an impossible thing to do.

8:36Elizabeth Smart From the outside, Trevor is a successful entrepreneur. But behind the promises, money is often a problem. Debts go unpaid, checks bounce, and Trevor is arrested more than once.

8:51Alisa Mathewson He had federal charges on him. They had been investigating some of his business dealings. At one point, he was taken off of a plane by air marshals. And he was like, it was just a big misunderstanding.

9:05Elizabeth Smart There's always an explanation, a failed partner, someone taking advantage, or a mistake by authorities. But each time, before Elisa can fully understand what's happening, the crisis passes and Trevor moves on to another plan, another business, another promise that this time, everything will work.

9:28Alisa Mathewson Every time I'd question him, you know, he would cause more chaos in my life. And we were having another child. And people say, oh, well, you could have decided not to have any children. But when you are so manipulated, you have no choices in anything. And I had gone to the church several times. I had gone to counseling, Christian counseling. I was so separated away from my support system.

9:58Alisa Mathewson I remember just feeling overwhelmed by all of that.

10:04Elizabeth Smart Elisa is homeschooling five children, managing a household, and starting over each time Trevor moves the family again. He controls the money. He monitors her phone calls every He isolates her from friends and support and belittles her, making her feel like she's failing as a wife, a mother, and a partner. He uses their faith to pressure her into submission, and he keeps her in the dark about his financial dealings.

10:34Elizabeth Smart She is overwhelmed, confused, and desperate for someone to help her understand what is happening.

10:41Alisa Mathewson We had just moved to Tampa about a year earlier, so... I went to my pastor and of course, everything that I did was monitored. I took one of the kids with me and I just said I had to take care of something at the church. And so I went and I said to the pastor, I said, I don't know what I don't know, but something is wrong. Can you please look into this for me? Can you please reach out to our old churches that he keeps moving us around to? can you try to figure this out for me and help me? When I came home that night, Trevor wanted to know why was I at the church?

11:25Alisa Mathewson What was happening at the church? Which of the kids went with me? What all was going on?

11:31Elizabeth Smart Asking for help only puts Elisa under greater scrutiny. And when the pastor starts making calls to the churches they left behind, what comes back only deepens her concern.

11:43Alisa Mathewson A few weeks later, the pastor said that he did not know if I had grounds for a divorce. He did not fully know the whole situation, but he did know from talking to previous pastors of ours that they were afraid of Trevor and that they were afraid for me. So to tread very lightly.

12:08Elizabeth Smart Finally, Elisa has the validation she's been looking for. She's not crazy. She's not paranoid. Someone else agrees with her. Something is wrong. But she still doesn't know where to turn next.

12:24Alisa Mathewson I didn't feel that I was in domestic violence because to me domestic violence was black eyes, bruises, those kinds of things. It wasn't, I wasn't surrounded in physical abuse, but I just did not feel that this situation was right. So I reached out to a local domestic violence organization. I had a hidden cell phone. and I explained the situation.

12:47Elizabeth Smart Elisa has spent years explaining away Trevor's behavior, believing that what happens between a husband and wife is simply part of a marriage. But on the other end of that hidden phone, the advocate begins giving her a new language for what she has been living through.

13:06Alisa Mathewson Even though I'm married to this man, They started explaining to me sexual abuse. They started explaining to me financial abuse. They started explaining to me power and control. And I realized how deep into this wheel of power and control I was.

13:25Elizabeth Smart This isn't just a difficult marriage. She begins to formulate plans. But before Elisa can get out of the house, Trevor bursts through the door.

13:35Alisa Mathewson Because he was monitoring everything that I was doing, he came home while I was on the phone with the domestic violence outreach center and he attacked me and tried to restrain me and keep me in the house.

13:51Elizabeth Smart Trevor's control has been emotional, financial, and psychological. But now it has turned physical. And for the first time, the children are pulled directly.

14:02Alisa Mathewson Into the danger. The children had heard this commotion and Arden, the oldest, took the kids and went outside because this is, like, it has now escalated. And I knew at that moment that I was never going back. He now is physically restraining me physically holding me back from trying to escape and told him, let me go to your parents' house to calm down. Let me just leave this situation. Let me take the car and go to your parents' house.

14:49Alisa Mathewson He did not let me take a cell phone. He just gave me the keys to a car. And as soon as I pulled out of the driveway, Arden looked at me and she said, We can't go to their house. And I said, no, I have no intention of going to their house.

15:05Elizabeth Smart Elisa contacts a deacon from her church, and his family takes her and the children in. And did you have all of your children with you?

15:16Alisa Mathewson Landon refused to get in the car. He was 12 at the time, and he thought I was overreacting. I was making a big deal about nothing. So he refused to get in the car, but Arden and the three younger children, Brynn, Brady, and Cooper, were in the car.

15:33Elizabeth Smart Elisa and the children stay with the deacon and his wife for a week. Then they move to a domestic violence shelter.

15:41Alisa Mathewson I had no access to money. We got out with the clothes on our back. I had to file with the courts a protective order, and I filed for all the children and myself to be protected.

15:53Elizabeth Smart From the shelter, Elisa begins rebuilding. With help from her family, she finds a job, a house, and a car.

16:02Alisa Mathewson I didn't want my family to know the situation I was in, but they came and they were 100% behind me.

16:11Elizabeth Smart So did they have suspicions beforehand about what was going on?

16:16Alisa Mathewson Or did they see it before you did? They... I saw that he was isolating me. They didn't realize exactly how bad the situation was because, again, everything was hidden from them. And I really still did not realize how bad the situation was.

16:36Elizabeth Smart Elisa tries to explain to her friends how controlling Trevor has become. But Trevor convinces everyone that Elisa is lying, that she is unstable.

16:49Alisa Mathewson They're not supporting me. They're supporting him. And with every bit of that manipulation, the kids are witnessing my friends turning on me. Arden was 100% behind me for the first three or four months of going through the divorce. And then he took the kids to a homeschool event and convinced one of the moms that was formerly my best friend. And she told my daughter that I had mental health problems, that she was praying for me because of all these things that I was making up in my head, and that she thought that I was just not happy in my marriage, and I was making all of this up to get out of my marriage.

17:40Elizabeth Smart A few months pass. The divorce is contentious. Then Trevor's behavior suddenly changes. He seems calm, cooperative, almost resigned to the marriage ending.

17:54Alisa Mathewson He all of a sudden starts being super nice to me. He offered me $ 25, 000 to come over as a divorce settlement and come over and sign divorce papers. It was going to save me in lawyer fees. It was going to save me in all of this just to have, you know, a... Easy divorce, where we both signed off on it. He got the kids half the time. I got the kids half the time. I said, okay, this is going to be great. And I went over there.

18:29Elizabeth Smart But when Elisa arrives at Trevor's house, it quickly becomes clear this will not go the way he promised.

18:36Alisa Mathewson He pulled out a machete, held me at knife point, threatened to tie me up.

18:42Elizabeth Smart While Elisa has been away, The life Trevor worked so hard to control is quickly imploding. On top of the divorce, he is now facing the possibility of real prison time. According to court records, Trevor is awaiting sentencing after pleading guilty to wire fraud, charges connected to one of his failed business ventures.

19:06Alisa Mathewson I talked him down out of it. I talked him into letting me go. And after being held for six hours, I left. She promises she will not call the police. But the moment she's free, she reaches out for the help she so desperately needs. I went to the closest gas station. I called the police. I waited at the gas station for the police to come. And they called me a pathological liar. They threatened to throw me in jail for making false police reports. They basically said there was not a mark on me. He denies everything. And I'm just trying to get a good man into trouble.

19:53Elizabeth Smart Trevor is free to go. But now he has something new to use against her. The police have taken his side. And he uses that to convince the children their mother is lying. that she is trying to send him to prison, that she is the one who destroyed their family. So everyone's turned against you, and even your children are questioning the situation. Can you walk me through the night that everything changed?

20:25Alisa Mathewson So I had three of the five children. I had already filed another protective order. We could not exchange the children. We couldn't go to each other's homes. So he would drop them off at a playground.

20:41Elizabeth Smart One would drop the kids off, then leave, and the other parent would be right behind to pick them up. 14-year-old Arden often helped facilitate these exchanges.

20:53Alisa Mathewson So I picked up Arden, Brynn, and Grady at the playground, and I asked about the other two siblings, and she said that Landon doesn't want to come, and Trevor would not leave Cooper. who was three, at the playground for her to watch.

21:11Elizabeth Smart Elisa leaves the playground with Arden, seven-year-old Brynn, and five-year-old Grady. After months of hearing their father question Elisa's mental health and insisting that she is trying to make him look like a villain, the older children have grown distant from their mother. But tonight, something feels different.

21:34Alisa Mathewson So... I took the three of them. We went and got some dinner. We went home. We watched movies. And then Arden wanted to stay up. And Brynn and Grady wanted to hold tight to me, like they had missed me. And so I let them sleep in my bed. So I was in between the two of them. They were on either side of me. And we went to bed.

22:00Elizabeth Smart What Elisa doesn't know... is that Trevor has been feeding the children a story. One they desperately want to believe. A story in which their family isn't forever broken and their mother and father can still be brought back together.

22:19Alisa Mathewson And the best way to fix everything with our family was for him to give me the treatment that I needed and he could bring me back home. that mom is delusional.

22:34Elizabeth Smart For months, Trevor has cast himself as the wronged father and Elisa as the woman who tore their family apart. Now, he turns that story into a plan. He manipulates their two oldest children into helping him, convincing them they are working together to repair the family.

22:56Alisa Mathewson They were talking WhatsApp. He had put himself as a different person in WhatsApp so it wouldn't be tied back to him.

23:05Elizabeth Smart He had set up code words. It's the night of March 10th, 2017. Elisa is asleep in between two of her children. Arden goes to a window in the house and unlocks it, just like her father told her to. And then she texts him that Elisa is asleep.

23:29Alisa Mathewson I got startled awake at 3 a.m. It was so dark in my room, but I could just feel that there was someone in my room. And I'm wiping my eyes and realize that there's water on my face. And I just thought that was weird as I'm trying to come out of this deep sleep. This is just strange. And it's I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed and I just started screaming.

24:08Alisa Mathewson Who is there? Who is in my room? And I felt the person move up against the wall, like to blend into the wall behind them because like I could feel that present, that shadowing. And I just kept screaming. And I heard Trevor say, calm down. It's just me. I'm throwing things from my end table in its direction, and the two kids on either side of me are starting to stir. He grabbed me by my ankles, by my feet, and pulled me off of the bed. It was terrifying.

24:59Elizabeth Smart The physical attack begins just after three in the morning, but Trevor's plan has been in motion for hours. Shortly after midnight, after receiving the text from his daughter, he leaves three-year-old Cooper asleep at his house. Twelve-year-old Landon rides with him to Elisa's home, and when Trevor arrives, Arden goes outside to wait in the car with her brother.

25:25Elizabeth Smart She still thinks her father just wants to talk to her mom, She has no idea what's happening inside the house.

25:33Alisa Mathewson He drug me down the hallway, and Brynn and Grady, who were seven and five, came running out of my bedroom screaming, Daddy, Daddy, don't kill Mommy. Don't kill Mommy.

25:45Elizabeth Smart Oh, my gosh. That must have just broke your heart, hearing that.

25:49Alisa Mathewson Like, it is etched in my brain, that moment of seeing the panic and the terror on their faces.

25:57Elizabeth Smart Did your.

25:58Alisa Mathewson Mind go to Arden at all in this moment? Like, where was she?

26:02Elizabeth Smart What was happening to her?

26:04Alisa Mathewson Yes, I thought for sure, like, Arden's hearing this. Arden's calling 911. Like, where is she?

26:13Elizabeth Smart Elisa believes her oldest daughter is somewhere inside the house, hearing the attack, calling for help. But Arden is outside, sitting in Trevor's car with her brother, Landon. waiting for their father's next message.

26:30Alisa Mathewson He told Brynn and Grady to go back into my bedroom and not come out. Go in your mother's room and do not come out.

26:37Elizabeth Smart Trevor keeps the two youngest children in the bedroom, then continues attacking Elisa in the living room. From behind the closed door, Brynn and Grady can hear everything.

26:50Alisa Mathewson I was fighting all I could in the living room. And he would pin me down and I would just be so exhausted that I would stop fighting back. And Brynn and Grady from my bedroom would call out, Mommy! And I would call back, I'm here, I'm okay. Because they were checking to see if I was still alive.

27:16Elizabeth Smart Still unaware of the violence taking place inside, Arden and Landon have now been waiting in the car outside for hours. At approximately 5 in the morning, Trevor sends Arden a message. The plan has changed. He orders her to take Landon, Brynn, and Grady back to his house and wait for him there. Arden is expected to drive her siblings home in the dark, even though she's not even old enough to have a driver's license.

27:49Alisa Mathewson He comes back in and he takes the scarf and the sock out of my mouth. And I'm, where are my children? Where are the kids? And he said, my parents have come and taken them.

28:01Elizabeth Smart Elisa has no way to know that is a lie. She doesn't know her children have been sent away alone. She doesn't know Arden is behind the wheel. And she doesn't know what Trevor plans to do now that he has her alone.

28:19Alisa Mathewson He took me to my room and tied me to my bed. He had put a sock in my mouth. He had wrapped a scarf around my face. He had used rope and scarves to bind my wrists and my ankles. And then he tied me to the bed. And then he used Christmas lights to tie me more to the bed. And then he used my vacuum cleaner cord to tie me more to the bed. He would untie me and rape me. He hogtied me. At one point, it was horrifically painful. It was just so awful. And then he untied me from being hogtied and raped me again.

29:08Elizabeth Smart Trevor keeps her drowsy and weak by making her continuously take cold medicine.

29:15Alisa Mathewson He made me shower. And he stood there and watched me shower, shower curtain open, his hands there blocking me. And then he had used like a flat sheet and like rolled me in this flat sheet. And then he tied my cocooned body to my bed frame again. Oh my goodness. And he put on the crown for me. me to watch on my TV and told me he was leaving for international water.

29:46Elizabeth Smart Trevor claims a boat is waiting, that they can disappear. Elisa knows about the stories he tells, the businesses, the money, the millions he claims to have hidden in offshore accounts. But she has no way to know which parts are real. Okay, so how did you get out of this situation? How did you escape?

30:08Alisa Mathewson How are you alive? He just kept having me hold out hope, hold out hope, hold out hope. Okay. So I'm like, oh, this ordeal is over. And I think he is gone. He comes back in, climbs on top of me, and suffocates me with a pillow. He had used his upper body and pushed full force on this pillow, holding it down. And then he straddled my face on top of this pillow. And I lost consciousness. I remember taking like my last bit of air from under that pillow and And just thinking, I'm going to meet Jesus. Like, before I completely blacked out, I thought I was dead.

30:58Elizabeth Smart But the cold medicine Trevor uses to keep Elisa drowsy has an effect he never anticipated. One that may be the reason she survives.

31:09Alisa Mathewson They think that the NyQuil had slowed my breathing, that when I had passed out, He got off of me and I was able to start breathing again and I came back to. So when I came to, that was really scary because that's when I realized his intentions were to kill me. And I begged for my life and he told me that he would spare me and I was going with him. And at this point, I realized he was keeping me alive to keep raping me.

31:52Elizabeth Smart Elisa tells Trevor what he wants to hear. She won't fight. She'll do whatever he says.

31:59Alisa Mathewson I knew my best case for survival was to just go along with everything. I've submitted. I'm submitting. I am going to stay alive for my children.

32:16Elizabeth Smart Elisa is still recovering from being suffocated as he starts to get their things ready to go.

32:23Alisa Mathewson When you have a lack of oxygen, it takes time for the oxygen to go back into your extremities. So I had no use of my arms and legs at this point. He dressed me in warm clothes because he said we're going on a boat into international water. He went out to my garage, got my suitcase, packed my suitcase.

32:46Alisa Mathewson And then he tied my hands behind my back. He wrapped a blanket around my shoulder and he walked me to my car, put me into the car, buckled the seatbelt on me, and put the suitcase in the car.

33:04Elizabeth Smart Trevor drives away from the house with Elisa restrained in the passenger seat. Her children are gone. And after being deprived of oxygen, she can barely control her body.

33:16Alisa Mathewson Then.

33:17Elizabeth Smart Trevor pulls into a Walgreens.

33:19Alisa Mathewson He went inside the Walgreens and he had gone in there to get more NyQuil to keep drugging me. Once he was inside that Walgreens, I was able with my hands behind my back to get my seatbelt undone. And I leaned forward and tilted and I was able to pull the door handle. And I was able to get out of the car. Now, Because of being suffocated, I really couldn't run. And I'm stumbling in the parking lot with this blanket over my shoulders. And I just remember screaming at the top of my lungs, help me, help me, he's going to kill me.

34:01Elizabeth Smart Next time on The Survivor Files, Elisa's story reaches its climax as her fight to survive takes its most terrifying turn.

34:12Alisa Mathewson Trevor came running out of the Walgreens, grabbed me, threw me in the car, and took off. He pulled over by the stream. It was a wooded area. It was pitch black. My hands were still tied behind my back, and he slit my wrist.

34:32Elizabeth Smart Leading up to the trials, Trevor attempts to control the process in any way he can, but he saves his biggest move for just before it's time for Elisa to take the stand. His lawyer stands up.

34:46Alisa Mathewson He says, I've just been informed that I have been fired, and he wishes to represent himself. So you're calling it rape? It is. That is the definition of rape, to come into someone's home and attack them and tie them up. You raped me.

35:05Elizabeth Smart We are giving you an opportunity to connect with the survivors who appear on this podcast. If you have a question for Elisa Mathewson or our previous guests, Eduardo Valseca and Lisa May, or me about our experiences or your own personal challenges, email thesurvivorfiles at gmail.com. Thank you for listening to The Survivor Files. New episodes every Monday. Subscribe, listen, share, and follow us at The Survivor Files Pod on Instagram.

35:37Elizabeth Smart The Survivor Files is produced by Marwar Junction Productions for iHeart Podcasts. Our producers are Steve Knipp and Natalie Freed. Our executive producers are Joseph Freed and Allison Berkley. The executive producer for iHeart Podcasts is Katrina Norvell.