The Post-it with La La Anthony... (S6 E7 "The Post-It Always Sticks Twice)

Hi, I'm Kristen Davis, and I wanna know, are you a Charlotte? Hi, everybody.

Welcome back to Are You a Charlotte?

Today, we have such a fun guest.

It's Lala Anthony, and we are gonna rewatch season six, episode seven, The Post-It Always Sticks Twice. And I don't know if you remember, but Lala was actually in this episode. She, in real life, was on TRL, MTV's TRL, in 2003, the year we filmed this episode, and we send Jason Lewis, playing Smith Jared, to TRL, and she interviews him. So it's really fun to look back on it. You may know Lala for many reasons. She was a very young, young host on MTV, and then she's gone on to have an incredible career.

She's acted.

She was just on Reasonable Doubt. She was in Power, which was a huge, huge hit. But I think she was on The Shy Lena Waithe Show. She's incredible and such a really, really great person. So please enjoy my conversation with Lella. So you at the time, this would have been like 2001 or two or three, I guess three, 2003.

Yeah, I'm not good with years, but I know early, early 2000s, I had just kind of been at MTV, not for that long. And then I got the call like that I was, asked to be on Sex and the City. And I'm like, are you freaking kidding me? Like, Sex and the City, first of all, why are they coming to TRL? Let's start there. And me, I'm going to be the one, like, it was mind-blowing because at that time, I was a VJ. I wasn't really into acting at that time. So I was like, oh, this is like an acting thing, but I'm playing myself, but it's cool. And I just, it's a moment I remember.

And also like a career kind of moment because at that point is when I was really like, I could really see myself doing this acting thing and like really not right then, but really started thinking about what that transition would look like.

That's amazing.

So how did you become a VJ or whatever we called it.

At the time?

Yeah, so I was on the radio in Los Angeles and I was getting really popular.

I was super young.

I think at that time I was like 18 years old. And I was on the radio doing really good. And then I remember walking in one day and the receptionist saying, hey, somebody from MTV called looking for you. I'm like, looking for me? They were like, yeah, you should call them back.

Called them back.

They wanted to meet me. I did a couple auditions. And then they were like, would you be interested in moving back to New York for MTV?

And I was like, yeah.

That was like at the peak, peak, peak of MTV. And it was craziness and chaos and fun. We actually just filmed the TRL episode. reunion not too long ago so just kind of being back in that space and everything was so fun but you know so it was so long ago but I have so many memories but it also feels like you know sometimes something feels like a different lifetime like I'm like oh that happened in this lifetime it feels like that was like a different lifetime but everything I learned kind of set me up to where I'm at.

Now amazing I feel also that it was a different lifetime Right.

Exactly.

But it's like you're an icon and it's unreal. And people talk about you and sex. And I can't go to a dinner with friends where it's not like, OK, what character are you most like?

It comes up all the time. It never stops. Like, well, I'm more like it.

And a lot of times, a lot of times girlfriends of mine always lean more into your character.

They always they were more similar to your character.

Oh, that's so sweet.

That's so sweet. I love Charlotte. They're like she. She was grounded. She knew what she wanted. She was whimsical. She was living life.

And it's just amazing that after so many years that how all of these characters like still resonate so much with people and people are still having sex in the city parties and luncheons.

And it is.

And even now, as we're, I'm working on producing a project now, like everyone's always trying to still figure out a way to capture like the sex in the city magic. And, I think people have gotten close, but not exact. But you always hear it in all the meetings. Like, what's the new modern day sex in the city? Like, how do we do that? And especially also with us, like, you know, with Black women. Like, what's the new, like, modern day sex in the city for.

Like, Black women? What does that look like? So it's just, it's referenced all the time. That's amazing.

Yeah.

This is a.

Testament to how incredible the show was, how incredible the characters was, just the work. And that's why I wanted to talk to you today because I'm such a fan. Thank you.

Thank you.

That is so sweet to hear.

And I also just as a fan myself, like if I weren't part of it, I would love Sex and the City.

I would love to watch it. I would love the characters. I always want to watch a show with a lot of strong women.

Always. Same here. Same here. I think it's It's necessary. You know, it's necessary.

And I just finished filming the show called Reasonable Doubt on Hulu. And I was just talking in another interview just about, you know, how when you see strong women, how much it really resonates and like how much it's needed to see that like in our lives on screen, like how powerful it really is.

I just had a whole conversation about that. So I totally, you know, agree.

I agree. And I'm so happy to hear that you are producing also.

Yeah.

Because this is what we all need to be doing.

Yeah, it's so fun to produce and be able to find projects that you love and bring them to life to employ people that you think are super talented, you know, and not just be, you know, another audition, put yourself on tape, producer session. Like this is really like where you can kind of control things. And it's been really, really fun.

I mean, I like to do both, but producing has definitely put me in more of like a, power position, you know? Yeah. I did want to ask you a question. Yeah.

I know this is not my interview, but I just wanted to, like, do you, after, you know, all this time, do you, like, ever get tired of, like, talking about sex in the city or talking about Charlotte?

Like, does it ever get annoying?

I mean, it never really gets annoying.

I think there was a little bit of a phase, probably, Probably somewhere like before the pandemic when we hadn't come back together to do and just like that. And I hadn't started rewatching. And it wasn't that I was annoyed because I am the biggest fan. You know, I love what we did. I love everyone involved. You know, I think our writers were incredible. And that's a big part of why it has, you know, these legs and lasts.

I think until I started rewatching, I wasn't.

100% sure what everyone loved.

Okay.

Do you know, like there was a time when.

The shoes, do you remember when everyone just started talking about shoes all the time?

And it seemed as though we had.

Done a very long and elaborate shoe commercial. I was like, you know, it was more than that. So I guess sometimes it would depend what people were talking about and how they were approaching it. So sometimes I felt like the style kind of, you know, took on a life of its.

Own in a way that wasn't, all that we had been, you know?

And so I think rewatching it helped me understand a lot of different things about it. And I think also the fact that they put it on Netflix and the younger women were able to kind of discover it for the first time brought about a rebirth in terms of Instagram and people being able to say, like, if you're going through a rough time, you're only in your first season of sex. You know, all of that is so sweet and incredibly touching and just so truly amazing that we're a part of something that that lasts in this way and that people, women especially, can have this connection to.

So I think I've had a whole rebirth in my own feeling and appreciation.

But what about when you're like out and about and that's the only thing people want to talk to you about?

Well, I mean, yeah, sometimes that could be awkward.

If I'm with my kids, it can be awkward because my kids are just like, ah, you know, exactly. My 15-year-old, she's very protective and she's like.

Mom, run. Like if she sees girls clock me or whatever, she's like, run. And my son is more just like, they're all looking at you, mommy. You know, it's interesting.

I don't mind exactly, but I feel like I don't know how to please.

Everybody, I guess. I feel a little, you know, awkward about that. I mean, how do you feel when you're out and people recognize you? What do you do?

Yeah.

Well, I mean, I was, you know, I was on a show called Power, which was a very, you know, show and people went crazy for it.

So I feel a little bit of that.

Like, you know, they always want to talk about characters from there and it's kind of like okay power's over we're moving on but it was such a significant part of my life so I love talking about it but.

Sex in the city is just a different thing I.

Can't imagine anyone sitting around you or like being at dinner with you and like not nudging each other under the table like who's gonna.

Say something who's gonna ask I just feel like I just.

Was wondering if that gets like overwhelming after a while because everyone's like this is our chance I mean My assistant right now is like, oh, my God, you're talking to Charlie.

It's just a thing.

So I was just wondering, like, is it just present in your life all the time?

It is.

And I think I do, you know, I'm used to it, I guess. You know, it's been a long time.

Right.

And it goes through phases. Definitely.

Right.

Like if I'm in L.A.

Here where I am now and I go to kind of like certain places that I go to all the time. Right.

I'm sure you know it's not that big of a deal right but then if I venture.

Out somewhere you know then like it's that thing of like oh no I'm in a weird place and they're like what is she doing here um but I'll tell you when it's really a problem is with um if if I'm with one of the other actors oh yeah oh yeah then you're asking for it yeah And I think it's hard because like, we're so happy to see each other and we just want to talk, you know, and be with each other. But then you also realize like, Oh, we're out in the world.

Like together. Um, which is, you know, it's interesting.

It's really flattering in so many ways too. But then also like, sometimes you're like, oh, I got to move on with the day or whatever.

You know, it's hard. It's hard to balance.

I just was wondering because it's just, I wasn't even on Sex and the City and I can't go many places without hearing a reference to it or someone talking about it.

So I just wondered how that was for you.

So sweet.

You have such an amazing show and performance by you. Like it's all great, fascinating. People are just so like, Thank you.

That's sweet.

I mean, I do feel overall like I wouldn't have done the podcast if I felt like, oh, I'm trying to distance myself.

I don't feel that.

I feel like let's figure out why it has this life. You know, let's investigate. And what I found in the investigation, I want to hear your thoughts, too. I do feel like it's partly because of the presentation of Strong Women, right? And in some ways, it was kind of the first show that was very topical in terms of not getting married and being single and running your life how you want and having all the choices and investigating those choices.

I like to investigate myself. Why is it so different? You know, why would you be in a meeting today in 2026? where people are saying, let's capture that Sex and the City.

Energy, right?

Like to me, that's an incredible compliment to us and our show and our writers, especially, right?

But then like, what is that exactly? What does it mean?

And that's what the podcast has been so fascinating and fun about.

Is that when you watch an episode, like, you know, this episode is the post-it breakup, right? It's like it's already happened.

And now she's trying to, you know, move on and, you know, also figure out like all the women are like, oh no. And then she runs into the friends of Berger at the bed bar and they're like, uh-huh.

And she's like, no, no, that's not the response.

Like it is really, it's an interesting and so creative response. You know, in terms of a breakup method, right? And I think foreshadows texting in so many ways, right?

It really does. It really does. I was going to say, and the same things apply now.

So that's why, again, the show, the episodes are so relatable now.

And yes, texting, but.

now you could get a note from somebody on the side of a bed that says like, you know, I can't do this anymore. And I talk about now with dating, like that you have to be vulnerable again. And being vulnerable means like opening yourself up to a space where you can be hurt again. But like, what's the other option?

Like just be closed off and never open up to anybody. So it's like, there's fear in getting out there and meeting someone and dating because you know that if you start liking the person, there's a chance that, they can, they can hurt you or that it can't go your way or that you're thinking everything's going great. And then you wake up to a post-it, you know, breakup note or whatever.

I mean, it happens. And it's like, I thought like this was going so well, like what, what, what went on?

So again, I think the magic of the show is that everything is so relatable now. And you just go back and look at how your characters handle certain things. And like, a lot of us want to go back to those ways of kind of handling things. Things have gotten way more complicated with, you said, social media, you know, texting, social media, DMs, whatever it is, like just go back to like where people just.

Kind of said how they feel, dealt with it head on.

And I think that's the magic of the show that people still lean so much, you know, into.

Yeah.

I think that's really- And the power of like friends too, like the power of having great girlfriends and friendships. And like, I think even though people always ask like, you know, what character do you relate to the most? you know, generally a lot of people say there's a little bit of me in all the characters. Like I can see a little bit of myself. It's like you put them all together and that's who I am. And I just don't think we've seen that. Like, you know, where every character is like, oh, I would do that. I've actually done that.

Okay. You know, it's just a little bit of, it's like just this big like melting pot. And I don't know. It's just so iconic.

Thank you.

I agree.

I agree. I think it's great. And I think it's interesting because at the.

Time, I just saw a piece of someone on Instagram talking about how they went and looked back at the reviews of when we first came on and how, you know, there were mostly older men reviewing us.

Right.

Because that's who, you know, in the papers, like old fashioned critics. And they were saying, oh, you know, it's hollow. They said we were hollow. Makes me so mad, right?

I'd forgotten about that. You're like, hollow. Hollow.

Hollow. I'm sorry. No.

You know, I'm a lot of things, but hollow is not one of them.

Exactly.

But it just reminded me of the, like the lack of there being a show, like there had been the Golden Girls, right? Which was a sitcom, like a traditional sitcom, multi-camera sitcom.

Very different, obviously.

And there just wasn't a lot to compare it to or even think about it from a framework, right?

So these guys were like.

Oh, it's hollow and they're not likable and whatever, which, you know, shame on them.

And obviously they're gone and we don't care about them. But I think it's.

So interesting to think to think back of all the critical things that they've said over the years.

And at one point they, they said.

That only Carrie was well-rounded and that the three of us weren't, which over time, I think we completely dispelled that at least to anyone who's paying attention.

Right. Yeah.

But I also think that was a, that's, that was because people hadn't seen anything like it. So it was like, they, they, you know, didn't know what to say. So it's like, well, let's poke a hole or say something negative. They didn't know what to say. You just didn't see women this bold in who they were and making these kind of choices.

It's like, we probably have been doing that, but like behind the scenes quietly, don't want anybody. But now it's like, this is who I am. I'm asleep with him tonight. Might call him back, might not, you know, whatever it is.

It's like, you just didn't see that like that.

Like it just gave everybody the confidence to step into like that power and that like boldness, you know?

Yeah. Yeah.

So let's go back.

So you're on MTV and it's like that hectic, hectic energy.

I remember that energy. It was a lot.

It was exciting.

Yeah.

Exciting chaos.

And what I love about TRL was that it was very much, it was that collective cultural moment where you guys had your finger on the pulse of what was happening in culture at that time.

And that's who you had on.

Yes.

What was that like?

It was insane.

I think back, because we were talking about this at the reunion, after a while, things kind of become a job, but in a fun way. You're going to work, you're doing your job, you're getting it done, and then you're like, okay, I did that.

But looking back, I'm like, what a crazy job.

Live television, so you can't control what goes on and all kinds of crazy stuff will go on in live television.

You just had to know how to like pivot or keep going. I mean, you had everything.

Happening in live television, you know, and you just had to know how to just keep going. Then you had the thousands of fans in Times Square screaming and yelling. You're just in the middle of that. And it's like kids just bombarding you from, you're just like with the mic, like, hey, like, it was crazy. And then you have all the fandom and pandemonium around all the stars.

I mean, it's like nothing I've ever.

But I think when you're going through it and maybe similar to Sex and the City, like, you know, that was your job.

You're working on your lines. You're making sure to care. But but when you look back, you're like, this was such an iconic piece of like history.

I see it more now than I did then because I was just like, got to go to work, got to get it right, got to make sure I'm on point. And that's what it was. But when I look even at footage of like. New Year's in Times Square and the ball dropping and thousands of people.

And everybody's going crazy. Like, I'm like, this was wild.

Yeah. Like, super amazing. New York at that time also. It was exciting. You know, there was a lot.

There was a lot of energy. Like, New York had, like, all this energy.

And I do feel like, and friends of mine have talked about this, like, we feel like not that the energy ever left New York, but we feel like the energy's back. Like everyone's talking about New York and, you know, all the cool places to hang out in New York or people.

From LA, like, oh, I want to go to New York. I want to hang in New York. I love being in New York.

It's like New York is having like a rebirth of just like, oh, you guys, now.

You guys know all the cool people are in New York. And like.

It has a cycle. Don't you think?

Yeah, it's a cycle. It's a cycle. And then LA has a cycle too.

But it's like now people are back on their like, New York vibe, at least the people in like my circle.

And then I talk like, all right, LA is cool.

We, we try to get to New York or especially now with the holidays.

Like there's obviously no place like New York.

For the, holidays so people are just getting excited about that um so yeah I love being here I live in New York and I love living in New York I go I was just in LA last week I go there a lot for work but there's no place like New York for me like when I wake up here I just like I'm like there's really no place I would rather live like.

I just love it yeah it is it's really special it's really special I was watching something they did a NPR did a whole special about New York and the way that is able to revive itself after all of the things that have happened and we were they were talking about covid and how if you had told us a long time ago that covid was good we would not ever have believed you that the city would be shut down ever And I look at it now at a lot like nine 11, you know, after nine 11, it took some time, but then there really was this resurgence of energy and, you know, kind of from the place of like, you will not, hurt the city.

You will not, we will not stay down. That's right. That's right.

And I feel like resilience there, you know, and just the people of New York, the city of New York, like you feel it when you walk around.

Absolutely.

Absolutely. I feel like that's what's happening now as a post COVID almost, right? Like it took some time and so many businesses closed and that took some time also.

And now that's coming back. And it made me laugh at the beginning of this episode.

It talks, it has, um, I'm out on the street getting a cab on Park Avenue with my engagement ring, just basically like waving my hand around, you know, like so happy. And then it gets to Carrie, who the night before has been broken up with on the.

You know, wait, she wakes up, she wakes up.

He leaves in the middle of the night to the post-it, which all of which I totally forgotten. And she hits that vase.

Do you remember this? She hits the vase. It's so dramatic.

And she's walking down the street and she's enraged, as she says. And she bumps into a guy and she starts shouting at him. And I thought that so beautifully captured kind of like what the street is like.

Yeah, no, it is.

I had to go back and refresh myself on the episode as well. But yeah, it's like.

To me, that's New York.

Totally.

New York, that's what it is. It's like, you don't know. When I walk out, when we're done, I don't know what's going to happen. Like, who I could run into, who I'll see. People watch. Sometimes you just sit and people watch. Like, you just, it's very unpredictable.

It is.

But in all, like, in so many of the best ways.

Yeah, it's everything. It's everything at once. on the street.

Like my kids were, they've come with me when we were doing it just like that. They've come with me and had these incredible summers there, which has been so great. And just the other day, my son said, mommy, do you remember that time we were on the street and that man started shouting at us?

I was like, yes, I do. And he goes, he was just shouting at us. And then do you remember Gemma like tried to.

Get away from him. But I mean like the whole, and you know, he just, this will be in his memory forever because of the unpredictability.

And also it teaches you how to deal with those things. I think it's like.

Very, very true.

I was very intentional and specific about raising my son, Kyan, who's now 19 in New York and seeing him now, I know that him being able to adapt in all situations, him being incredibly well-rounded and just knowing how to deal with people from all walks of life and just how he maneuvers through the world.

I do think a lot of that was growing up in New York and just.

What you saw on the day-to-day, what you dealt with on the day-to-day, you know, it's just a melting pot of, everything it's not like okay these people over here these people like it's everything and I love that he was able to grow up like that and it's showing up now as he's you know a young man like I see it show up and just how he deals with life problems people all of that.

Stuff amazing I love that so much that that's excellent that's so excellent um I have no.

Doubt that you would raise a tremendous young man thank you.

I'm trying my best with my eight-year-old it's not easy It's not easy.

It's not, it's not easy, but you got this for sure.

Thank you, Lala.

So there's poor Carrie, like trying to, trying to process what happened.

And I think in some ways that's the worst thing.

About the post-it is that it is the completely coward way out because there's no processing together. It's like the easiest thing to do on the man's side, on Burger's side, and the worst for Carrie.

Because then she has to decide. And she talks about.

How when she does tell us at the coffee shop, she talks about how she doesn't want to call and leave the angry message, which, I mean, we've all been there.

I think I probably would call and leave the angry message.

I think I probably would have left the angry message too.

But I also understand, like, sometimes for people, everything doesn't need, like, this closure conversation because sometimes closure conversations become– conversations of like trying to convince or change someone's mind. And sometimes when a person's mind is made up, they don't want to have that conversation.

They don't want to discuss it.

It's almost like nowadays when you just block somebody, it's like, I just don't like it's done for me and there's nothing else to say. And I also know I'm still vulnerable that I can be swayed or convinced. So I don't want that. So like, you know, looking back on it, it felt like, damn, that was just such a like messed up way. But if you go deeper on it, it's kind of like, maybe that was his way because he didn't want to have the conversation. He felt like maybe there's were previous conversations or previous things that it's like, I just know this isn't for me. I mean, I don't know what the mentality was of burger, you know, leading up to that, but I'm just saying like, I see it pop up a lot now, like girls.

And guys are quick to be like, well, just block, like just block them, just block. And it's like, damn, no conversation, no like grand final farewell. Nothing is like, no, just block. Wow.

And that's like a thing, Kristen, nowadays. People are like blocking left and right. Like nobody's dealing with anything.

It's like, just block. Just block. Oh my gosh.

That is the modern equivalent of a post-it. Wow.

That would really hurt.

Let me ask you a question because I don't know.

If you block someone, do they know that you blocked them?

So they don't know, but after they've been texting you and you don't respond and calling and then they kind of figure it out, but they don't want, it's not like an alert, like, hey, so-and-so just blocked you, but you're not getting any of their messages or calls anymore. So you're just a completely going ghost. after a while they figure out like something is happening.

Gosh. It's very harsh. It's very harsh.

Yeah.

Very harsh.

But I also have understood over the years that that's what works for some people because they're not ready to deal with the conversation, the final farewell, the closure.

And also some people, you don't owe that to everybody. You know what I mean?

Sometimes you do depending on the relationship, but depending on how you were treated, like you don't owe.

That to everybody. So I do understand that too.

Some part of me thinks that the blocking thing is like kind of what you said, like the coward kind of easy way.

Like I don't want to deal with it.

But when you talk to people and you get deeper into it, like maybe everybody doesn't deserve, like I keep calling it that final farewell conversation. Maybe you had that a million times before and it didn't work. And now it's like, I didn't see the changes I needed.

So I'm done. There's a million reasons for the block or the post-it. Like, there could be a million reasons.

So I'm saying as I went through life now, I look at that scene a little bit different where before it was just.

Like, damn. Definitely.

Now it's like, well, maybe he had his reasons. Maybe, you know, like, he's trying to, like, see it from both sides.

I do think that comes with age, doesn't it, right?

Yeah, it does.

Like, we've been in enough situations that you can kind of see both sides. I feel like with the burger thing, re-watching it, I was really... surprised by how many issues they kind of had all along.

You know, it wasn't easy, right? There were so many red flags.

And I feel like, I think the hard thing is that Carrie had wanted to break up with him. She told Miranda or Samantha or somebody that she was going to break up with him, but then she didn't. And so she's regretting it herself.

Of course, because a lot of times you want to be the one to, there's power in being the one that kind of ends it or the one, you know, you just feel like, it ended on your terms. Nobody wants to be, they want to do the breaking up. They don't want to be broken up with. So like, I get that.

Me too. Me too.

Totally. Though I have to say I'm very bad at breaking up with people. I only ever really remember one time breaking up with someone and it was horrible.

It was so hard because you know.

When you still kind of really care for somebody, but you also kind of know it's not going to work out.

Yeah.

That's a tough one.

Yeah.

I'm not the best at that either, but also can like, keep something going longer because you don't want to hurt somebody's feelings. But all the while, you're already knowing that this probably isn't the right.

Thing for you.

Some people, again, know how to post it, block and just is over other people.

Like three years later, it's like, well, you said this three years ago. You weren't happy. Three years later, we're still here. But everybody has, you know, their process.

That's so true. And I do think that's true.

Like my, it's like a fault of me that I'm not super proactive. Like I can be swayed. Like how you were saying, you know, if you're still feeling vulnerable.

Right. Right.

But you also know intellectually, you know, that it's not going to work out. You kind of got to do what you got to do.

Do, but it is, it is, it's very difficult. Like, especially for people that can be swayed. Cause you're coming into it. Like, this is how I feel.

This is over next thing.

You know, you guys are having dinner that like, how am I making this? I thought I was having this conversation to end it.

I know.

You got to know you and your personality and what's going to work for you.

Definitely.

And that's what's interesting sometimes when I look back at the show, because we were, you know, I think at this point in the show, our characters are around 40 somewhere.

Right.

But we have a kind of a youthful figuring it all out situation, which I really love because I feel like aren't we all still trying to figure it out?

We're all trying to figure it out. I mean, love relationships is a topic. It'll never go old because no one has figured it out yet.

Totally. Totally.

No, it's like the movie about love, the book about love, the do's and don'ts, the playbook, the this, the that. Like no one has figured it out yet. And I don't think you, I don't think even in happy, healthy marriages, you're still learning each other and growing.

Like it's never like, okay, I just got it hands down.

Right.

That's the beauty of life and growth and relationships, you know?

So I don't, I think whatever the age is, it still can feel like new.

Experience, new learning, new things. I don't think you ever master it.

So true. So, so true.

That's important, I think, too, because wouldn't life be boring if we mastered things?

It would be boring, but also life can be very complicated.

True, true.

There's a happy medium, I guess.

Life and love can be complicated because of it, because it's just like, when am I finally going to get it right?

Most definitely. I mean, yes, most definitely.

But this is why we have entertainment, right? So that we can watch things and feel it reflecting.

Yeah, we can say their lives are just as messed up as ours. It's important. Or their lives are even worse than ours.

Yeah, it's so important.

You guys, this is so much fun that we are going to have to have a part two. So join us later in the week on Are You a Charlotte?

The Post-it with La La Anthony... (S6 E7 "The Post-It Always Sticks Twice)

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