Lindsay Clancy Mistrial: What Happens Now? (w. Liza Treyger)

0:07 Welcome to Brief Recess. I'm Michael Foote.

0:09 I'm Alyssa Malbranch.

0:10 Today we're going to talk about that time I thought I saw Britney, bitch. We're going to talk about hip, but not in the cool way. We're going to talk about the Lindsay Clancy trial and the coverage versus the media coverage of lynchings in America. We talk white voices, white genes, and hoarders. And then we sit down with the hilarious Lisa Trager, who's going to help us answer all your questions from the DMs. So be sure to stick around. Because I texted you and I said, do you want me to shave? And you were like, you took two hours later within the two hours I shaved.

0:46 You know, I have to tell you, my mother does that.

0:50 Shave.

0:52 She'll ask me what I think about something. And then I'll say.

0:55 Too slow.

0:56 And I'll say, yes, no, whatever.

0:58 And then she's just like, oh, which really what she wants me to. My mom wants me to know what she's thinking about. And say that thing.

1:07 I want you to just give me the answer I want. I don't want your opinion. Then don't ask me.

1:12 Ben, let me tell you something. You are asking the wrong bitch because I will always tell you what I think.

1:17 Well, I was like a little bit on the fence. It was like 10% of me was like, I'll keep the beard. I like the beard.

1:23 And you know what? You're entering your daddy phase.

1:26 Oh, my God. You are.

1:29 With your little gray snowflakes and the beard.

1:32 I know. I'm getting a little gray beard. I can't.

1:34 I'm here for it.

1:35 Okay, so I was at a party on Saturday and we were talking about getting gray, obviously not hair, but like other hair that turns gray. And I was talking to my friend. And I was like, yeah, like, you know, like you get gray hairs in your chin and like your chest. And I like opened up my shirt a little bit and showed him.

1:55 Why did you open up your shirt? That's weird.

1:56 To show him my gray chest hair.

1:58 Why?

1:58 Because I was like, you know, like this starts to happen when you get in your late 30s. And he goes, it actually doesn't. And he opens his shirt and it's just a completely like perfectly hairless chest.

2:09 But was he, is he like a.

2:11 He's like a very hairy man. And I was like.

2:15 Does he wax his chest?

2:16 He just doesn't have chest hair.

2:17 Interesting.

2:18 I was like, oh, okay. All right. Yeah. Anyway, we don't talk anymore. I made it weird.

2:23 I'm sure you did.

2:24 I texted. So for context, since this is a show people listen and watch with viewers, I texted Melissa and I asked her if I should shave my beard. And before she even answered, I shaved it. So that's just kind of the background there.

2:37 And what I think is really funny is that Michael expected me to answer immediately because Just thinking that I don't have shit else to do.

2:44 Yeah, right. It's a Monday.

2:47 It's like a Monday, a work day.

2:49 Leave your meeting. Leave. Walk out.

2:52 I had so many meetings today.

2:54 Really?

2:55 So many.

2:56 I hate that.

2:57 Yeah, well.

2:59 I feel like meetings become, when do we do the work? Let's get into a sidebar about meetings. Let's have a meeting about this meeting. And let's circle back with those KPIs on this meeting.

3:11 We're going to synthesize. I have a friend of mine. We send text messages back and forth just saying shit like that. Taking a bird's eye view.

3:26 From this vantage point?

3:27 And we're always putting a pin in something and circling back after the holiday.

3:34 Put a pin in my fucking voodoo doll if you're going to put a pin in something.

3:37 It's so bad.

3:38 Sick. Sick. Wait, so you and your friend just text back and forth shit like that?

3:41 Just like that. That's literally all we do. All we do all day.

3:44 That's great. And then you and your brother also have little personas, right?

3:48 What do you mean?

3:49 So Melissa and her brother do joking, making fun of Beth and Jim. So, Melissa.

4:00 Hey, Jim. Hey, Beth. How about some coffee?

4:04 White people voices.

4:05 Those are our white people voices. I'll give the context and then I'll jump in. I mean, I don't think there is any context, really.

4:15 I just think that sometimes it will be someplace where, especially when we were both living in Brooklyn and, you know, the gentrification of Brooklyn that has happened.

4:24 And like every time you turn around, there's a new coffee shop.

4:27 Sure.

4:28 And Jim and Beth had completely taken over. And my brother would be like, yeah, Jim and Beth are standing in front of me getting some oat milk lattes.

4:38 Melissa's telling me this. Meanwhile.

4:42 You have an aunt and uncle named Jim and Beth. And you were like, wait, what? I was like, how do you know them?

4:50 I thought I was going to pass out. She was like, oh, yeah, Beth and Jim. And I was like, wait, Beth and Jim from Setauket, Long Island?

4:57 She's like, these are the.

4:59 Fake names we give white people. And I was like, I know a couple Beths and a couple Jims. And I don't know any. I'm dead.

5:07 How was your weekend? What'd you do?

5:08 Okay, well, so how do I frame this? I thought I met Britney Spears. And it turned out to be a man in a wig.

5:18 Oh, you told me this. Wait, did you send me the picture too?

5:21 This is where, yeah.

5:22 That I didn't look at.

5:23 We're going to throw up the video because it's my video. I thought Britney Spears crashed this party. And this is where my friend's a bartender. It's... I.

5:35 Actually didn't look at it before.

5:38 It is a man. That's a man. But I don't understand... She's a drag queen impersonator.

5:45 No, no, no. I understand that.

5:46 The art of drag.

5:47 Well, sure. We love that.

5:49 But what– My friend Jeremy was feeding me drinks. And then– Our Jeremy? No, different Jeremy.

5:56 Okay.

5:57 And so the drag queen performer came on. I thought it was Britney Spears. But for context, in New York, sometimes that happens. Kacey Musgraves like showed up at pieces the other night.

6:08 Right.

6:09 And then Brad and I were at a party once and Kylie Minogue just started singing. So like, it was possible.

6:16 I'm possible, but improbable?

6:22 Well, re-watching the video back, I was like, all right, this is a little bit on me.

6:26 How many drinks were you in? I don't know.

6:28 It was a long night. We were out late. And I go out, but I don't go out late like this. This was like once in a lifetime late. How late? We were like watching the sunrise, getting home. This is mom, turn it off. This is not. I don't want my mom to hear.

6:42 What do I say?

6:42 I know I'm too long in the tooth to be out like that.

6:47 Just to be out that late. To be out that late.

6:50 My hip hurts. My back hurts the next day. My arthritis limping home from the club.

6:58 One of the things my grandmother used to say that getting older was an affront.

7:04 Sure. Yeah.

7:06 And last week, I had the worst arthritis flare in my hip.

7:13 No, no.

7:15 I cannot describe the pain.

7:17 Hip injuries, like any hip pain, it's brutal.

7:22 I was on the verge of tears at least a few times.

7:24 You're using your hip when you're sitting. You're using it always.

7:27 You use it all the time.

7:28 There's no moment when you're not using your hip.

7:29 God forbid you go to church, sit up, stand up, kneel, and you're fucked up.

7:32 Yeah, and you have to go to the bathroom at least a couple times a day. And then, yeah, so if you've got a hip injury, my heart goes out to you.

7:39 Thanks.

7:39 Thoughts and prayers. Because did you get like an injection or something? Did it really hurt going in?

7:45 Yes.

7:46 Yeah.

7:47 It did.

7:47 That's what I'm scared of.

7:48 And it takes a long time for it to work.

7:51 Is it working now? Yes. Oh, okay.

7:53 Yay. I'm fine now.

7:54 Wellness check.

7:55 No, we're good. It works. It feels better now. But anyway, arthritis.

8:00 Arthritis. Getting older. It's brutal. If you have tips or tricks or ways that isn't illegal drugs, stay up all night at the club in your old age. Let me know. Okay? We want to hear from you, Amanda Lepore. Let's get into algorithm and show. You want to get into that?

8:16 Yeah, we can, but you go first.

8:18 Okay. I was going to talk about the Lindsay Clancy trial because we finally got a verdict. That's been all over my feed.

8:24 What do you mean?

8:24 Lindsay Clancy.

8:25 Yeah. I thought it was a mistrial.

8:27 Right. Sorry. That was like the outcome I meant, not the verdict. Okay.

8:30 Yes. An outcome.

8:31 Yes. But yeah, it's been all over my feed the past few weeks. I can't– it's extraordinary. I mean, the way that that jury was– and now we're hearing from the jurors. So basically backing up. We got all the way to the end, closing arguments. They deliberated it for days and days and days. Finally, the jury comes back.

8:51 They came back three times with deadlocked. Nothing's going to move forward. And the judge kept sending them back. And it was clear there was one juror who just was not listening to the law whatsoever and didn't understand or understood the law and refused to apply it was what they were saying. Now we're finding out about this juror.

9:12 It was like this one guy who was like refusing to– understood he had doubts about probable cause and was refusing to apply the law to her situation. Crazy. And so now because it was a mistrial, they get a chance to redo the whole thing all over again.

9:31 So will they?

9:32 People are thinking they will because of what happened with Karen Reed. Same jurisdiction. Mm-hmm. And they just copy-paste, control-alt-delete, just redid the whole thing, even though there was all this public outcry, even though there was all this criticism of the case. They still just retried it again.

9:50 Let's say if they decided not to, but just for argument's sake, right?

9:55 What would happen to her? Would she just remain where she is? Because she's in the- a facility now, isn't she?

10:01 Yes.

10:01 Right. Would she stay there?

10:03 I don't know. That's like a good custody question. Yeah, because it's basically like pre-trial detention. Yeah. Yeah, I think so. Okay. Yeah.

10:14 So even if there's no actual resolution to the case, because a mistrial is basically no resolution, yes?

10:21 Right, yes.

10:21 So she still would be in this facility even if nothing came of it.

10:30 Even if– what do you mean? Like if they retried it?

10:32 If they don't retry it.

10:33 Oh, if they don't retry it.

10:34 If they do not retry it, what happens to her?

10:37 Sorry, I thought you meant if they do retry it. If they don't retry it?

10:41 Yeah.

10:42 Then I guess– If they don't retry it, then that means they're dropping the charges. She's either charged or she isn't. Okay. So if they're not retrying it.

10:49 Then she's.

10:50 Then.

10:51 She's out.

10:52 She's not being charged with anything. They can't hold you for more than 48 hours if you're not charged with a crime.

10:57 Okay.

10:58 This is all about Lindsay Clancy. I haven't gotten into any of the Karen Reid stuff. We could do that another day. Okay. Let's. I mean, we could do it. I mean, I know everything about that case. I love it too. But just talking about Lindsay Clancy, I think.

11:09 Yeah.

11:11 Yeah, so she would if there are no charges, but yeah. I don't know. I keep thinking about, like, Tayshia Fortune, who they just arrested someone for lynching her. And that will be a criminal trial of that person. They're saying there's going to be more arrests. And I'm also noticing that any video I make about Tayshia Fortune only gets a couple thousand views. If I say Lindsay... the minute the L gets out of my mouth, 2 million views.

11:44 And I'm just like, in this, I mean, as a content creator, I'm in this position where I'm actually watching this happen. And I'm just kind of like, obviously two very different cases. One is dealing with postpartum depression. And then the other case is dealing with lynchings in America. I don't know. For some reason, I keep, connecting them in my mind just because they're both sort of like dominating the headlines in my space. And I'm just seeing how if we want to say we care about women when we're watching the Lindsay Clancy trial and we're worried about mothers and postpartum depression, we also have to give that same energy and attention. We can't just give it to the white woman who looks like us. We can't

12:28 just give it to the mother because you are also a mother. You can't just give it Because, oh, it's easier to relate to that person. And I feel myself do it as well when there is a gay white candidate or when there's like a gay white person who like has kids. I feel my hackles get raised when something happens to them because I'm like, that's me and my husband. When Brad and I got married, people were calling our offices telling us that like the devil's going to kill us or whatever. You know, like certain things hit closer to home when I see something like that happen to a gay person in the news.

13:03 Well, yes. And I don't think– we can't help that, right?

13:07 Right.

13:08 Because you see yourself in a situation. And I don't think that's so much of a problem, right? You know, if somebody is a parent and they see something happen to a child, you sort of imagine that's your child and what that would be like for you. And I think that that's very normal. I think what is– What should not be normal but is in this country is that, I mean, I don't know how many times this country needs to show us how they do not care about Black people. And they don't care about Black women. And I think that's why we hear so much more about Lindsey Clancy.

13:45 Because this poor white woman, right? This poor white woman who was struggling.

13:51 Yes. The cops framed Karen Reed, right? And it's, yeah. I think the reason why it bugs me so much and why it's been kicking around in my head for a while is because so many people in my life were contacting me about Lindsay Clancy. So many people that follow me were contacting me, DMs, like, thank you for talking about this. Postpartum depression is so important. And it is. Like, I feel like we often get into this space where it's like there's only room for one issue to talk about.

14:19 And that's just not the case. It's possible for all the issues to get attention and support. So I got so much communication sent to me about that trial. And then when I'm making videos about Tayshia Fortune and her death, I'm getting nothing from those same people.

14:38 Wow. the people who are reaching out to you about, I mean, you also have to think about who's following you, right? What is your, I don't know, your fan base or whatever it is, right?

14:49 So if the majority of the people who follow you are white people, white women, then this issue, I mean, I feel like that's probably.

15:02 I also, I'm like, yeah, I'm thinking like, It's not that it bothers me. It's that there's unconscious bias there.

15:11 Or I don't know that it's unconscious.

15:14 Yeah. Yeah. That's me projecting possible unconsciousness.

15:19 I mean, again, I mean, I think for some people it is unconscious. It just doesn't occur to them. And then for other people, they just don't give a shit. They just don't care.

15:29 Yeah. I think really ask if like the Lindsay Clancy trial was something that you obsessed over, you were in on everything. You gave it your all. You were sleuthing investigating on the internet about how you think Patrick allegedly actually killed the kids and framed her. Ask yourself why that was so important to you, but not these other cases, these black women who are getting lynched in America. You don't know their name. You don't know anything about their case. Nothing.

15:56 Because I want people to really interrogate themselves on that. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe this is just like me being me.

16:04 But.

16:05 I think also it depends on– if this is something from social media, let's say, I think you and I, while there probably is some overlap, we don't see the same things.

16:18 No. What do you see?

16:21 I mean, to be fair, because every now and then I make a conscious decision to check out of the news.

16:29 Nice.

16:29 Just because it's too much.

16:30 Yeah. Well, Trump's asleep. So like– He's checked out too. Mitch McConnell.

16:40 Where is he?

16:41 Someone posted it. I just reposted it. I can't take credit. Someone posted a Spirit Halloween banner at his office.

16:53 But, I mean, I think it depends on what it is that comes across your feed, number one. And number two, also, what is the media doing? The media has been covering Lindsay Clancy. I mean, like it's their job.

17:07 So, that's been on the news. That's true. You're right.

17:11 It was live.

17:12 Everywhere.

17:13 Yeah.

17:13 I mean, wasn't there like a court TV? The whole thing.

17:17 And that is not happening with these lynchings. Of African-American people.

17:22 It's not happening. And someone at TikTok has their thumb on the scale. When the Lindsay Clancy video goes up, they pump it out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. That's really true. I don't know. I don't want to minimize postpartum anything. Psychosis, depression, anything.

17:37 Michael, I think there is enough space. There's enough time to talk about all the fucked up things that are happening in this world.

17:48 Yeah. There just are, right? Yeah. not enough of the.

17:51 Voices are being listened to. I think there are a lot of people talking about these things, but they're not being heard. And is it because the social media, whatever the platform is, is purposely holding things back?

18:08 I don't know.

18:09 No, me neither.

18:10 I think when I was talking about it, it was like, a man's talking about postpartum depression? That's a first. There were just so few times in media where dudes are talking about this stuff.

18:20 Well, I mean, I think that they're talking about it because of what happened. If the topic was just. Not just, but if it was not about Lindsey Clancy.

18:33 The trial. Right.

18:34 If it wasn't a trial and the tragedy around it that got picked up by the news and it was sensationalized, that is why it made the rounds.

18:43 Yes.

18:44 But if it was just a conversation about postpartum depression and postpartum psychosis, it would not have the same traction, I don't think. I think the reason why so many people were talking about it, including men- was because of the trial.

19:02 Extreme circumstances. Correct.

19:04 And as an attorney, you are a trial attorney, that's why you were talking about it. If it was just a general conversation about it, you probably wouldn't. And that's, it's okay. Do you know what I mean?

19:18 It is okay because it's not something– what would not be okay is if we were having a conversation about it and you disregarded it.

19:28 That would not be okay.

19:30 But it is okay that postpartum depression or perimenopause or any of the issues that have to do with what happens to cis women, it would be okay if that was not across your radar. because that's not what you engage in. I can't tell you. My feed is full of menopause stuff.

19:50 Why? Because that's what I engage in.

19:52 Also mine. I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. I know everything. Because all my friends are approaching menopause or going through it or having kids or– Every single one of my friends is a woman. I don't talk to men.

20:09 That's not true.

20:10 I don't like them.

20:11 I mean, fair, same. But that's not true. I don't like them. That's not true.

20:16 I have some men in my life, but for the most part, it's women of a certain age. Of a certain age.

20:22 Of a certain vintage.

20:23 What age is that?

20:25 You tell me.

20:26 I know. Sometimes I'll be talking to a friend who has a kid going through something and I'm like, Oh, yeah. I've got like 10 friends who have a similar situation. I'm like the intersection of all of like in this like weird way. Why? You would never know this person, but I've got three friends in a different region because they're all women who have gone through similar things. I don't know. It's funny how like different friend groups kind of they don't know each other, but then I'm the intersection kind of.

20:59 Okay.

21:00 Yeah.

21:01 Makes sense.

21:01 So your feed's all menopause stuff.

21:04 My feet's all menopause stuff. And I've also, for whatever reason, been engaging in hoarder houses.

21:13 Roll up your sleeve. Get into it. I love.

21:17 It's really interesting.

21:19 And every time that happens, I immediately go to my closet.

21:24 Yeah. Wait, Melissa. Melissa texted me. Throw up the text, CJ. Throw it up. Melissa texted me and she said, why do I have five pairs of white jeans?

21:38 It's four pairs of white jeans.

21:40 I have four pairs of white jeans and I don't know why. You don't own a yacht. I did figure out that three of them are different styles. So there's a cropped, there's a wide leg, and a straight leg. But they're two straight legs.

21:57 I love that.

21:58 I know. I have said this before. And I mean this.

22:06 I need.

22:07 a benevolent stylist.

22:10 Please help.

22:11 Who, and it can't be Michael because a couple of people say, oh, ask Michael. Michael is useless.

22:16 I really am. I really am.

22:18 We would get absolutely nothing done.

22:20 We get nothing done and I don't understand women's.

22:23 Fashion at all.

22:24 And I sent this to Michael and I said, I know that you are not this gay man, but as my friend, I need you.

22:31 To like- So it's a cry for help.

22:33 Yeah, this is a cry for help.

22:35 I'm a- Whenever a friend calls me and they're telling me something trivial about their life, I say, I hope you get the help you need.

22:45 But you're not going to get it from me.

22:47 You know, I hope you get the help you need. I know. Let's add that to our vocal stems. We've got what's going on in the home.

22:53 What's going on in the home?

22:54 Four white pants. Four pairs of white pants. That's what's going on in the closet. And then I hope you get the help you need.

22:59 I hope you get the help that you need.

23:00 Did you get rid of a pair?

23:01 I did not get rid of.

23:01 You didn't get rid of the five?

23:03 I didn't get... What I did was instead... I just organized everything. So now all the white pants are in the same.

23:09 It is.

23:12 And the thing about it is, I will say also, is that seasonally, I take my stuff out and I swap it out for the other stuff.

23:24 Well, is it seasonally you take it all out, but you don't.

23:27 Get rid of it?

23:28 Well, sometimes I do get rid of things. Okay.

23:32 She takes it out and puts it somewhere else.

23:35 Well, I take it out and I put it in a space bag and I suck out the air and I put.

23:39 It under my bed.

23:40 And you know what? It's not a problem if it's under the bed. There were once four great houses, wide leg, boot cut, low rise.

23:50 Well, that's why I need a pair of boot cut jeans. A pair of white boot cut jeans.

23:55 You're going to, okay, so hoarder houses.

23:57 Hoarder houses.

23:58 And so what I've really been into, so the hoarder houses have gotten me into the people who buy hoarder houses are, And with the idea of emptying out the hoarder house and like renovating the hoarder.

24:13 House, right?

24:14 Oh, so crazy people.

24:16 They're actually, it's a way, it's kind of a way to get a deal.

24:19 Because they're basically giving the house away.

24:22 I'll give you 10 grand cash.

24:24 Just take it. Yeah.

24:25 But there's this one couple and they live in the UK someplace and they bought this house to get in the house. They had to get a ladder, go in through a window.

24:39 Because the house is full to the ceiling with shit.

24:43 I'm going to be sick.

24:45 And what they said was that there was an older man living in the house. And what the neighbor said was he couldn't get in through the door.

24:54 No. He had to climb in through his window.

24:57 I hope he gets the help he needs.

25:00 I think he's no longer with us.

25:01 Whenever I see those hoarder shows, they're always like, They pull this and it's like from under the sofa, it's like the cat. That's been there for 20 years.

25:11 Not this house, but in other houses that I've seen. It's like, forgive me, like liquefied cat in the refrigerator. It's really bad.

25:18 It is. But I just think about... the illness, the pathology. Yes.

25:27 Like, what is that about?

25:29 And then instantly, that's what sends me to my closet because I can't be that person.

25:35 I'm going to get rid of one of the pairs of white pants.

25:37 One of them.

25:38 I will say, I can't get past the white pants because white pants never fit me. They never give at all. Whatever the material is, so the... The fact actually, it's really impressive that four pairs of white pants fit you and you're like going to keep them and continue to wear them. Well, I don't- So like credit where credit's due.

25:52 I don't know that they all fit me great.

25:55 Okay.

25:55 Well, I was trying to give you a little- I know you were trying to help.

25:58 So they don't fit and you're still keeping them?

26:00 They do fit, but sometimes it's the kind of thing, and I was talking to my cousin about this, it's like my weight will fluctuate.

26:06 Okay.

26:07 So you want to be contingency.

26:09 But like- Five pounds either way, and not that it's that big of a deal, but five pounds either way can change the way that something fits you.

26:17 Oh, yes.

26:17 Right?

26:17 Yeah.

26:18 So even if you're not fixated on the number on the scale, it's the way that it fits. So I have these– whatever.

26:24 You know what? I don't want to talk about this anymore.

26:26 Sometimes I do.

26:26 Basically, I'm asking for help.

26:28 If you are an up-and-coming stylist and you want to help my ass and you are kind– Come on over.

26:36 I know exactly who's going to help you. Who? My friend Devin runs the store Maison Emmett in Williamsburg. I'm hosting a fundraiser there on Friday. You're going to come. Oh, that's right. It's the unofficial Michael and Melissa meet and greet. Sure, sure, sure. And it's a fundraiser for Hands Off NYC is the name.

26:51 It's a nonprofit that supports like grassroots organizing against ICE in local New York City neighborhoods. So they'll like come and do trainings at your like group of friends and you're on your block and they'll train you on like what to do if there's ice presents in Queens or Brooklyn or whatever.

27:08 I love that.

27:10 And so it's just a fun reserve for them. Five bucks, whatever you want to donate at the door. I'm going to throw a link in my bio if people want to just, if they can't go. But she's got this great boutique and it's all like genderless and sizeless clothing. How does that work? So with her. So she'll pull pieces for you. You'll try them on. She'll like, Modify them, take them, and she's got a team of seamstresses. Okay.

27:35 What's the male seamster?

27:37 Taylor?

27:38 Taylor. Thank you.

27:39 You're welcome.

27:40 That's sisterhood. I'm here to help.

27:45 Devin?

27:47 Yeah. She's great. She's going to do you a prey. She gave me a pair of pants. We tailored them. They looked snorched. I walked by. You know the hot priest from Fleabag? Yes. Andrew Scott stopped me. We got a gasp in the studio. Stopped me and asked where I got my pants. He was like, I really, and then he said, you've got great style. And I said, I got them from my friend Devin.

28:13 Shout out to Devin.

28:14 Yeah.

28:15 Okay.

28:15 I actually then also said the most insane thing to him because I panicked because I realized who he was. And I said, I don't know. I think, I don't know if I have the meat for these pants. That's what I said to this poor fucking man, this lovely Irishman. And I did a little like gesture movement when I said meet. Like I kind of like grabbed my hips.

28:37 It was sick. It was sick. Anyway, another day of alienating men.

28:43 That's what you do best.

28:45 It's a beautiful day.

28:46 It's what you do best.

28:47 It's a beautiful day to alienate a man. Get out there, everyone.

28:50 Really quickly, there is.

28:51 This one thing that I want to chat about because I was so offended by this.

28:57 The presence of the United States. Oh, no.

29:00 We almost got through a whole episode without talking about him.

29:03 I mean, anyway. So it was the 25th anniversary of September 11th.

29:09 Oh, my God.

29:09 Very serious and somber occasion. And this man, as he always does, as he is wont to do, figured out a way to talk about himself.

29:21 Centered himself.

29:22 And lied.

29:23 Yeah.

29:25 I don't understand why. what is happening again. And what I really wish that I had not done is I call it the great purge of 20 I got rid of the people in my life who were Trump supporters. And then every now and then I would go back, I would make an assessment and I would get rid.

29:49 Of some more. It was really methodical.

29:52 I was so, and I was inviting people to get out. If you are still here, It's a privilege, not a right. You do not.

30:03 I say this, listen, I say this to KP all the time and to a lot of the other young men and women in my life. Not everybody gets to have access to you.

30:13 Access is a privilege.

30:14 It is a privilege. Yeah. And I don't owe anybody my time. I really don't.

30:20 And the sooner you realize that, the better. Like I figured it out deep into my 30s, but if I figured.

30:27 It out sooner- I would have been unstoppable.

30:30 So much time. So much time. I spend on relationships that friendships. People don't want to have me in their life at all.

30:37 Friendships, relationships, you know, jobs, work. Listen, not everybody gets to have access to me. But I ask people, I'm like, listen, if you are still here and you are a supporter of this current president.

30:53 Get out. And I really wish that I had not done that.

30:57 So you could be like, what are you thinking now?

31:00 What are you thinking now? What do you think?

31:03 It is not enough for me to see the person who was singing, I will vote for Donald Trump being like, I made a mistake.

31:10 The one Rockette who performed at the inauguration.

31:12 It's not enough.

31:14 I am genuinely curious for the people who support him.

31:21 I really want to know. What are you thinking?

31:23 It's given people has dementia and they gave him the iPhone and he did. And he said he said they carried him out of the towers.

31:32 And it was two big, strong firemen. What?

31:41 I'm sorry. It's not even a good lie. It's easy to verify.

31:44 It's so easy to verify. What is happening?

31:49 I told my parents I had never walked the dog a day in my life when I was 15, but I was a chain smoker. And I came home and I was like, I'm going to take the dog out for a walk. My parents were like, why are you walking the dog? I came home reeking of cigarettes. That's the kind of lie that is.

32:05 It's so fucking stupid. And it makes me so sick.

32:08 It really, really, especially, you know, it's one thing for him to center everything around himself and to talk about himself and he's a me, me, me guy. But I feel like, and I don't mean to suggest that September 11th was only impactful for those of us who live in New York, but there is something about having been here, having watched this happen, knowing people who knew people who passed away.

32:36 Yeah. That makes it feel especially galling to hear this man center it around himself. And it is a lie.

32:46 We know he wasn't.

32:47 At the tower. We know you weren't there.

32:49 You were on Epstein Island. There are probably more logs of him on Epstein Island than... Than there were of him ever being at the World Trade Center.

32:59 To be fair, that's not where he was.

33:01 Where was he?

33:02 He was here.

33:03 Just that one time he wasn't.

33:04 And I think– I actually think he was on the Howard Stern Show when it was happening.

33:10 So, he was literally being recorded live, not at the towers.

33:14 And what's more is.

33:17 After the towers fell, he was just like, well, it looks like my building is the tallest building in New York now.

33:23 So– That is crazy. It's giving– what's the amendment where we can remove the precedent for being old and crazy and demented? That one.

33:33 That one. That one.

33:38 We don't even need to know it.

33:39 We don't even need– CJ will throw up a little thingamajig to let us know. We're going to move my.

33:44 Mouth and we'll just have CJ's voice.

33:45 That really, really– Yeah.

33:49 Okay. We're going to take a break because Lisa Traeger is in the studio. Yay! So I'm really excited. I'm so pumped to have her. We'll be right back with our extra special guest. I never met you in real life.

34:06 No, because you showed up an hour and a half late. Okay.

34:12 In my defense, I was two hours late.

34:16 Yeah.

34:16 And it was to a Robin concert.

34:18 I couldn't believe how late you were. I was pushing it with that friend group I was with. Cause I like to be there for open, like, you know, but they wanted a pregame. They wanted a thing. So we arrived at eight 30. She gets on at nine. And I think I got your texts at 10.22, 10.30, 10.50. Okay.

34:34 Yeah, that sounds right.

34:37 But you got the encore.

34:38 In my defense, it was two hours and I was asleep. Yeah. So that's why I wasn't there. I did fall asleep.

34:43 Oh, okay.

34:44 But I woke up and I got there for an hour of Robin.

34:46 And she's incredible.

34:47 Had drinks, danced. It was so fun.

34:49 She's the coolest girl in the world.

34:50 Missed you completely.

34:51 Yeah.

34:52 Did not meet you at all in person. And then I left and I invited you. I was like, I'm going out if you want to come. But I think you were in a different direction.

34:59 In my head, I was going to go home. And then we did stay out for one. And then the next thing you know, it's 2.30 in the morning. I don't know. Do you know Jake Cornell? No.

35:08 Oh, I know. Yes, I've seen his TikToks. Yes.

35:10 I just do whatever he tells me to do.

35:12 Love that.

35:13 I'm friends with a few controlling people.

35:15 Yeah.

35:16 And they know stuff. So I just follow them.

35:18 Anyway, if you're just joining us here on Brief Recess. We are joined by the inimitable Lisa Trager.

35:25 Oh, wow.

35:26 And she's super excited to be here. I'm going to speak on her behalf.

35:28 I am.

35:29 Because she loves having controlling gay men in her life.

35:31 I do.

35:32 Yeah.

35:32 They know everything. Before I go on dates, I'm like, where should I go? What should I see?

35:35 Like, everything.

35:36 Yes. I have one guy. He pays for everything, too. But he'll be like, dress nice tonight.

35:41 I'm like, okay. Wait. That's a fin don.

35:43 Reservations at 9.

35:45 Come. And I go, okay. Oh, okay. I'm on my way. Yeah. I'm on my way.

35:49 I love it.

35:51 You're touring right now. Stand up comedy.

35:53 I'm always touring. I'm just on the road. There's never a tour.

35:56 There's never like a specific tour.

35:57 I'm just a working comedian.

35:59 I always wondered how that works.

36:00 If I was popular, like in that way, if I was more popular, like it could be like an official tour and then you do this or you do that. I'm like, I just take gigs all year round as they come in. And I just say yes. So I'm just always on the road and tickets are always available.

36:13 Amazing. Okay. Where are you headed after this?

36:16 So I just got back from Dallas yesterday.

36:19 So you're there for Trumpapalooza.

36:21 I got in right after.

36:23 Oh, okay.

36:24 Yeah.

36:24 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

36:25 So that's why– no, my Uber driver was pissed. There was a lot of traffic. He goes, because they're all leaving. And he was like, chill. He was like, go get margaritas here. Like he was helpful. He likes to go fishing. And then they're really chatty outside of New York City.

36:41 Every– when you travel.

36:43 I know. And I am not good at that. I don't like– Talking to people I don't know. When you're on a 6 a.m. flight and then you arrive and then they go, you look tired. And it's like, well, yeah. It's 7 in the morning. What the fuck? Like, what do you want from me? I just got off a plane. What do you think? How was the flight?

36:59 It's fine. I'm alive.

37:00 Like, what do you want? But I am friendly and I do get a lot of information from them.

37:05 And usually they are good recommendations. Where were you? You were like in Albuquerque or something. And you were texting me from the back of a cab and you were like, what is happening?

37:15 Yeah, Albuquerque was weird. It is a weird place, but I went to visit Breaking Bad locations. Okay.

37:20 So I did not know that– I didn't watch Breaking Bad, so I didn't know that it was– I didn't. So I didn't know that it was filmed in Albuquerque. And when I get there, all this Breaking Bad shit is everywhere. And my brother was obsessed with Breaking Bad.

37:37 So I took a selfie with the statue. uh but she didn't know who was yeah i went to the house i went to the car wash yeah i did it it's like.

37:44 The straightest thing about me is that show.

37:46 No it it changed television it was like huge that and mad men like that was an era of television that was just really incredible and i didn't see mad men but like that breaking bad is one of the best.

37:56 Shows ever made not a single gay character in breaking bad yeah yeah i mean yeah i they've been.

38:03 Well there's fan theories that gus was gay Oh, yeah.

38:07 Oh, that's right.

38:08 I mean, that moment where they pan.

38:10 Spoiler.

38:10 We're not going to spoil.

38:11 Spoiler the gay sex scene with Gus.

38:13 No, but when they pan that, like, it really is. It really is. I know. My brother has told me that many times. He's like, you have to watch it. It's so good. Whenever the time is right, you're going to be really happy.

38:25 Okay. It is. And I rewatched it, I feel like, a couple years ago. And I was like, this actually holds up.

38:32 I want to wait until I'm in a deep romantic relationship to rewatch that with somebody. Oh, yeah.

38:37 Yeah.

38:37 What happens if the person that you're in the romantic relationship with is not into it?

38:43 Will you break up? I can't even imagine. Yeah. I really can't even imagine.

38:48 You won't get past the first date. If they're not going to be into it. Like you'll be able to tell. You'll be able to suss it out.

38:54 Yeah, it's just so good. So it's their first watch or a rewatch. Maybe if they don't want to rewatch. I don't know. It's really, I don't know how you could not like it. I'm curious to meet someone who doesn't like it.

39:04 When you dream about like having a deep romantic relationship, what is the thing that like stands out in your mind as like the goal moment? Like for some people it's like, Watching movies on the sofa and like, you know, like what is like the thing you think about when you imagine your future relationship?

39:25 Well, I think it's like all the things I do by myself. Like when you're alone, it's like depressing. And then when you're not for me. Like I'm fine. I'm always by myself, but like, yeah, mostly lounging.

39:34 Okay.

39:34 I think lounging or like walking. I'll go into the movies. Okay. But they have to behave. That's actually something that I would break up with someone about.

39:41 They have to behave.

39:42 If they want to talk.

39:43 You said that like they're guns with some wild animals.

39:46 I don't go with friends.

39:47 I don't go with anyone.

39:48 Oh, I have a friend who checks his phone. Yeah, I would never. Absolutely not. I know people that talk, people that don't want the previews. Like, I don't want to be.

39:56 A part of it. Shoes off, tootsies.

39:58 In the air. No, I would hate that too.

39:59 Just putting their little feet in front of the screen like this.

40:02 Don't embarrass me at the movies. And don't piss me off. Yeah. Don't piss me off.

40:05 Have we been to a movie together? Have you been to a movie where there was extreme reactions in the audience?

40:11 Well, if it's a horror movie and you're scared and you scream, that's like fine. That's a natural reaction. We're laughing. We're saying someone taught you. Whoa, that was hot. Like a word here and there. But like.

40:19 What about disobedience when they're spitting in each other's ears?

40:23 I didn't see that.

40:24 You didn't see it?

40:25 Oh, you have to see it.

40:26 This is going to be the question we ask every guest.

40:28 Do you see disobedience? And what do you think about this? I use it for like, I play a lot of movie games on my laptop. And so disobedience, I use a lot, but I haven't watched it.

40:38 Oh. No. Okay. So you can, when you are in a deep loving relationship, that is one to watch together.

40:44 Yeah. I think going to the movies, I think you go to the movies more often when you're like with somebody.

40:48 Yeah. No.

40:50 No.

40:51 No.

40:51 No.

40:52 We're both partnered.

40:53 Yeah, and I– And you're not going to the movies. We went to the movies the other day for the first time in over a year. We saw– Odyssey?

41:03 Yeah.

41:05 Yeah, I didn't see it. I'm going to wait until it's on Delta.

41:07 Why do you want to go pay money to watch white men fail?

41:11 Well, because I love Song of Achilles, so I am curious to see those guys, I guess.

41:16 I will say the things you're dreaming about in your relationship of like, oh, these things are depressing when I do them alone.

41:23 I'm not depressing.

41:23 It's actually worse when it's with someone.

41:26 I kind of regret even saying that because I don't think it's depressing. I enjoy my life. But yeah, like lounging at the park. I go to the park to read a lot. But when I see a couple and they're both reading on a blanket, I'm like, that's nice.

41:39 Okay, so I've literally never done that. And I've been married for seven years and in a relationship for 11. So what are you guys up to?

41:45 What's your answer?

41:46 If I went to a park with Brad and we were reading, I would be like, what is that noise you're making with your jaw? And why are you chewing? And if you breathe one more time, I'm going to get a glock. It's going to be a glock. If I hear you gnash your teeth.

42:08 But that could be anywhere. Anywhere.

42:10 Right. And then home alone time, you want to be home with it? No, you don't.

42:14 Yes, you do.

42:15 You want to be alone?

42:16 No.

42:16 You want some quiet alone time?

42:18 No. I will say what I... The thing I. That I don't love about my relationship. And this is not even a big deal. It's not even a big deal.

42:29 We brought you on to bitch to you about our husband.

42:31 But it seems to me, so my husband and I live in an apartment. We only have one bathroom. I swear to God, that man waits until I'm in there before he's just like, I have to use the bathroom.

42:46 And it's so frustrating. And he waits until I'm in there, either like drying my hair or putting on makeup. But he's just like, hey. And I'm like, I was asleep.

42:57 You had all this time.

42:59 What were you doing?

43:00 I'm asleep all the time. You could be doing all of this stuff.

43:05 All this stuff that you feel the need.

43:07 It's like Mad Max, they need the witness. Before the, why do you need a witness? For every, when you're getting ready.

43:15 My parents fight, have been fighting about the temperature of the house. Very classic.

43:20 Your whole life.

43:20 My whole life.

43:21 Your whole life.

43:22 It's too hot. It's too cold. My dad's like, who changed it? I'm sure they changed it. They wake up in the middle of the night. One of them goes down, changes it.

43:30 The sleuth.

43:31 It's like they're constantly at a war with the temperature of the home.

43:36 There will never be a solution.

43:37 Yeah. Oh, you know what else? Because sometimes when you go out to eat by yourself, I want to order more stuff, but I'm just one person. With friends I'm sharing, but that would be nice to share sides.

43:48 I'm going to go out with you.

43:50 Yeah, we are going to.

43:51 We're going to go on a date, and you're going to really regret saying you want to part your brother's stuff.

43:57 Well, actually, so one of my friends has been in a relationship for about eight months, and his boyfriend finally went, listen, I need to talk to you. I do not like sharing food. I want my own entree. That is a deal breaker for me. No. And we had gone on a trip together, and we didn't even offer that option to him. Everyone was just ordering everything. We were all eating stuff, and he finally had to do it.

44:17 I'm imagining this whole time they've been eating a sandwich from the opposite ends, and he's like, I just have to tell you. Lady and the Tramp. He's like, I have to tell you, I hate sharing food.

44:27 Because I was like, no, we've got to get two sandwiches, and then half and half, and then you get to try it all. Yes.

44:31 Because I like.

44:32 To go to S & P and get a sandwich, but I don't have enough room for the fries, but I want to try the fries. Yes.

44:37 Yes.

44:39 No, I don't like people who, I do not like, first of all, there's like a whole thing about picky eaters, but we're not going to get into it. But I also don't like people who don't share food. That is, to me, that is like a personality flaw.

44:51 Yeah, I went out with like a big group and there's a married couple and they both got the duck. And I go, why would you both get the duck? And it's stayed with me now for years. Like I bring it up to the, like it really bothers me.

45:01 Like if you're.

45:03 Going to like Red Hook Tavern, you're both getting burgers, everyone gets the burger. Like that makes sense to me.

45:06 You're going to Peter Luther, like yes, it makes sense.

45:08 But... No, even there, you would share the steak. Yeah.

45:10 Yeah, that's true.

45:11 And then you'd get all the sides. And then you'd get some lobster tails or something, too, you know?

45:15 They both got the duck.

45:16 They both got the duck. And they're like, well, we both want the duck. I go, but you could... It bothered me. No, that would bother me, too.

45:22 They're... Divorce. Divorce.

45:23 Especially if it's like, if you go to a really good Chinese place and you both get the same thing. That is insane to me. No. That's absolutely.

45:29 Well, Chinese food is different. You have to order Chinese food.

45:31 Like.

45:32 The group. You have to get a lot. Yeah. It gets better with age. Yeah.

45:37 Yeah, it's for the day. And then you're full, but then two hours later, you're not full. Yes.

45:41 You want to pick out a little bit. And there's no such thing as a serving size with Chinese food.

45:46 No.

45:46 It is just you're having Chinese food.

45:48 Right. The giant shared plate.

45:50 Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There is this Chinese place on Long Island that we go to that we- So you travel for it. We love. We go, whenever we're out on Long Island, we always go here for Chinese food. And we like it better than New York City Chinese food. Because it's suburban Chinese food. It is American Chinese food. It's not like... It's not like real Chinese food? It's not real Chinese food. It's a different cuisine entirely.

46:16 I want crab rangoon. Yeah. All day, every day.

46:18 That's not actually... No, and I.

46:21 Don't need that.

46:21 No.

46:22 Not everything has to be everything. That's another pet peeve I have when you want a Taco Bell or Domino's or something like that, and the people want to be like, that's what you want taco it's like it's actually i know the difference between tacos and taco bell and i don't need this conversation if i want cilantro and onions only i'll do that on a different day like i don't like the i don't like the lecturing when you think you know more than me about something it's like no i know about consumers i know about this like shut the fuck up Fake intellectualism.

46:51 No one's going to Taco Bell and being like.

46:53 This is local taco stand in New York.

46:57 You would get Taco Bell in LA? Yeah, I'm hungover. That's what I want.

47:00 Shut the fuck up.

47:01 I'm blackout drunk. What are you talking about?

47:04 Why are you trying to logic with a girl who is blackout drunk? Why are you trying to mansplain this to me?

47:09 I got drunk last night. I'm really struggling today.

47:11 What happened?

47:14 Nothing. I did a show at Bell House. Bell House! There were a few people. And then when I went to get just a Tito's soda, the bartender went, a double. And I went, sure. Okay.

47:24 Tea.

47:25 And then that was that.

47:26 At the Robin concert, I ordered a double and it was like, it was like a super, it was huge.

47:33 Well, I'm actually like not that fun. I don't drink at concerts or anything because I don't want to pee and I don't want to miss anything.

47:41 So you sound really neurotic to go to a concert with. I have to say. I was late. You don't want to drink anything.

47:48 Yeah. Everyone was on Molly. I was depressed that day, actually, so I didn't do my Molly because I didn't want to risk it. I feel like.

47:57 It might have helped, right? It can take a turn.

48:00 It could take a turn, and I just really wanted to experience Robin.

48:03 Yeah.

48:05 And one time I got blacked out at a Chicks concert, and I don't remember anything. No. No. And so I just try to be present so I could remember.

48:12 It was a pre or post George Bush quote, comment. It was probably post.

48:16 No, post.

48:17 It was definitely post them saying they hate George Bush.

48:20 It was still the Dixie Chicks when I went though.

48:23 Oh, okay.

48:23 Before they became the chicks.

48:25 The rebrand, yeah.

48:26 But at MSG. But like, yeah, once I... It's like you're spending... You're waiting to... I just want to make sure I'm like witnessing it all. Yeah, no. Sometimes people want to hang out with me and then they never call me again. Like I think people think I'm more fun than I am.

48:37 No, no. I think.

48:39 Do you think you're fun? I can, but sometimes I do feel bored. Like, sometimes I'm talking, I'm like, I'm so boring. But this happened once where this girl, like, kept messaging me, like, we need to get a hang, we gotta hang, and then we hung out, and, like, I never heard from her ever again.

48:50 Beautiful.

48:51 No, I love that.

48:52 We were just talking about cutting people out of your life. You might be that person. Yeah.

48:57 No, but I think it's okay to do that.

48:59 I think it's okay for you to do that to other people, too.

49:01 Yeah.

49:02 Oh, yeah.

49:02 No, I actually, I've had some friendships end. I've been insecure about my friendship sending, but. I'm not like sad I'm not friends with them anymore. So I'm okay with that.

49:13 Yeah.

49:13 Some people you just were like, you know what? That's okay.

49:15 That person was dead weight or that person shifted. Now they're weird conservative. Like that, that especially is a big one for me.

49:24 I think people that I.

49:25 Politically.

49:26 Politically. You got to get rid of some people.

49:28 Yeah.

49:29 Right now it's like, if you hate mom, Donnie, I kind of look at you a little different.

49:32 I agree. Yeah. Yeah.

49:34 Absolutely. I stopped speaking to a friend because of that. He got so aggressive. I'm like, well, you're an idiot.

49:38 I think because I'm so outspoken on the internet about politics, people wouldn't even comment me with an anti-Mum Donnie kind of POV.

49:46 You don't think they would?

49:48 It hasn't happened yet.

49:49 Right.

49:49 And he's been here a minute. It's been what? It's been almost a year?

49:52 It's about a year. That is kind of like- I just have never seen a mayor crush it like this. He really is. I mean, we haven't had a mayor crush it in a long, ever. And I'm Chicago, Mayor Daley. I mean, what a nightmare, you know. And right before he left, he sold all public parking to his cousins, like private parking. That's right. So now it's like $ 5 for half hours downtown. You know, it's like insane. And he signed like a hundred year contract with these parking people and then left office.

50:24 I mean, Mamdani did drop 170,000 files about 9-11. Yeah, exactly.

50:29 Like, go– And then Amazon tried to do something. He's like, well, now you owe $ 9 million. Like, I love the pettiness of him. Like, it is just, like, so exciting. Isn't it?

50:38 It's so good. People– I don't see how they can– people can get really mad or upset with him when he's doing, like, a food pantry for pets. It's like feeding kittens. Yeah.

50:52 You know exactly what it is and that's just what it is yeah and so like it doesn't matter what he's doing or not they just are like everyone that i've that doesn't like him it's for one particular reason yeah and which isn't even real yeah.

51:05 They're like you walk outside you get stabbed they're.

51:07 Like he hates jewish people right i go okay sure i'm jewish i don't i don't find him like hateful towards me towards you personally well that's what one of my friends goes he goes My wife's been attacked twice. And I go, I've been attacked on the streets. I never blamed the mayor. What are we talking about? You think Eric Adams would have done better? Could be just a baby doll, but also it could be a place where you could secrete or hide drugs.

51:34 He was flying out of nowhere in a Spider-Man.

51:36 Suit and saves you. He goes, ah, the safety. And I go, no, I've definitely been attacked in the streets. What are we talking about? Yeah, but it's not because of him. That's so weird. It's a weird hill to die on. It is a weird hill to die on.

51:50 It is a weird way to get mad about something.

51:53 Yeah, and it's like, no, I think it's because your in-laws have an apartment here.

51:57 Yeah.

51:59 And they don't live here. I think that's what it is, actually.

52:01 Your in-laws have an apartment on the Upper West Side. Yeah.

52:04 I think they're pissed about that. But even that's been so fun where the people in Florida are like, no, it's my primary residence. And then he goes, oh, so then you owe back taxes for that.

52:11 And they're like, oh, no.

52:12 It's just fun. I love attitude.

52:14 It's getting very petty.

52:15 I love someone with just some attitude. No one's cool anymore. You know what I mean?

52:19 No one's cool anymore. And I do feel like because he'll never run for president, he's like, I'm just going to fucking light it all on fire. Let's do it. Let's do it.

52:27 Let's go.

52:28 He messy, petty little bitch is about it. He's like, you know what? Let's roll.

52:32 Yeah, no one's cool anymore. Because even yesterday, so the show I do kind of quarterly, it's called Show and Tell.

52:36 Oh.

52:37 And it's like grade school. And people bring items. And I bring items. I host it.

52:41 Where is it?

52:42 I've done it at Union Hall a bunch. I've now started a series at Bell House doing it.

52:46 Okay. I bet people bring some weird fucking shit.

52:49 Well, comics get so– they're like, well, what kind of thing? What kind of stuff? And it's like, you'll figure it out. You're all professionals. You'll figure it out. They always all crush. But it ranges. But one girl did bring a full bench and had this story about the bench. But people bring things and then afterwards they're like, did you tape it?

53:06 We could do clips. You should tape this and then clips and this.

53:08 And it's like, I don't want to.

53:10 Can we just have a fun night? Can we just have a fun night? These people laughed. We all had fun.

53:15 It doesn't have to be content. We went drinking. It doesn't have to be content.

53:17 And I get that they want clips that aren't standard. I understand all of it, but I'm like, can we not just have a night where we're just doing a show? Not everything has to be content. I don't want a tripod. I don't want to spend $ 500 hiring someone. I don't want to.

53:31 Yeah. I've been re-watching Sex and the City.

53:33 I think about Sex and the City almost every single day of my life. It is my favorite show. Every day of my life. I do Sex and the City trivia. There's a board game from the early 2000s. I do it with friends. I have that. Yeah. My friend does a Sex and the City bus tour. That was her day job. I've been to the tour. I've visited the airport.

53:46 I am in. I've been to the– She's all in.

53:48 She's 10 toes down, 10 bankers down. I go everywhere. Yeah.

53:52 Same with housewives.

53:52 Yeah.

53:53 I guess I like to visit the things people– yeah. I think about all of them.

53:56 You like to go to the place. Do you do– so you recap SVU episodes on your podcast. That's messed up. An exactly right production. Do you visit the– have you been to sets of SVU?

54:08 So I bombed an audition in 2014 at Chelsea Piers.

54:12 Okay, so tell us how that went. So I did get to go there. If you want to do reenacted straight to camera, the entire audition, what happened?

54:18 Well, the first– I walked– he went, you're like– You need to stop smiling. This person's just at work. It was like a process server, but I was so happy to be there.

54:28 I also wasn't experienced enough. You're playing a corpse. Why are you smiling?

54:33 Why? Yeah, I just wasn't ready and professional enough at that point. I've become so much better at acting.

54:39 Well, you figured out really fast that people actually don't smile at work.

54:46 It was just too good.

54:47 Nobody smiles at work.

54:48 No one's happy in the workplace. And then the line was just like, Detective Benson. And then she would go, yes. And then I would be like, this is for you. And then I accidentally gave the paper before I asked the name. And they just went, you need to get out of here. And I left. And I didn't get an audition again until like three years ago.

55:03 They said, don't call us. We'll call you.

55:04 Yeah. But I, you know, yeah. But I got one three years ago and then I got one last week. So we'll see.

55:10 When this comes out, you might be on set.

55:15 It's exciting. And people come back all the time.

55:18 Yeah.

55:19 But I'm always happy to be just a fan, but always trying to get into everything that I love.

55:23 Because when you're a fan and then you get a little bit of that behind the scenes peek of how it's made, I think it was crazy.

55:30 But I do wonder if you were able to get on and you're sort of there behind the scenes, is it going to be like, Oh, is it going to be like a little bit like if you saw like Big Bird in the corner? No, because I've been on other sets. But we also, do you know what I mean? No, no, no, no.

55:47 Is Big Bird still Big Bird if he's in a plastic bag in the corner?

55:51 Right, yeah.

55:52 No, no, it wouldn't change it. Because we also like for the podcast, we interview actors from it. So it's like, we know how things work. And then like, you know, I know... I know that it's a set. I know the stuff. But with SVU, what they do– they are shooting on the streets. And rain or shine, snow. They shoot no matter what.

56:10 They don't mess around.

56:12 So it would be still a unique experience.

56:14 My friend, I was on a Zoom call with her for work. And they were filming SVU in the house, the apartment next to hers. And you could hear someone screaming on her Zoom call. They were murdering someone. And they had to tell everyone in the building– That there was going to be murder.

56:31 Right. That's actually like one of the SVU tropes that have happened throughout the decades is like cops go into a thing and it's a student film, you know, like someone called and that's like.

56:40 A- Oh, that happens on SVU.

56:42 That happens on SVU.

56:42 I'm not a watcher.

56:44 Yeah. You don't watch SVU?

56:45 I don't. Really?

56:46 Not at all?

56:46 No.

56:47 Okay. Interesting. Even at hotels? What's your hotel watch?

56:52 I will watch The Good Wife. Okay. Love The Good Wife.

56:54 What channel is that on at hotels?

56:55 Especially if I'm traveling, it's usually because I'm going to a trial and I'm like, I need to watch a trial get resolved quickly in 40 minutes. Right. And with a positive outcome.

57:06 Sure.

57:07 With lawyers just sort of like– and everything just like works out. There are so many like loose threads in a trial. Yeah. Just you don't get answers on 80% of the evidence you have. The documents are a disaster or evidence shows up at the last second. Like crazy shit goes down that– It's just so cathartic to watch a trial where literally everything gets buttoned up, including your marriage, by the 42-minute mark. Damn, that's nice.

57:37 So it's like a fun fantasy for you.

57:38 It's really nice. Yeah, yes. It's like better than porn. Just like watching The Good Wife or The Good Fight where just like everything gets just like tied up in a neat little bow at the end.

57:47 I should get into The Good Wife.

57:49 It's so good. I prefer The Good Fight. You did. I did.

57:53 What's the difference? The characters are different. What's her name?

57:57 Baranski.

57:57 Baranski is in it. And I just love her so much. She's so good. And I just thought it was a– and Audra McDonald is in it. It was just– I don't know.

58:05 I just thought it was– and I did enjoy The Good Wife, but The Good Fight for me was just more interesting.

58:10 Yeah.

58:11 And it was a little bit more– I mean, The Good Wife was kind of like OG procedural. I mean, it was like 2008, 2009. It's not OG. No, but like very different. Not like OG, but like it's a very different sort of like procedural structure than The Good Fight, which was totally dispersed with kind of that structure. Okay.

58:30 So it's not a procedural The Good Fight.

58:32 It's more– It is, but they take it a little more loose.

58:35 Yeah.

58:35 Okay.

58:35 Yeah. Yeah, it's not as– It'll be– the trial will be over like that. Because I used to watch The Practice as a kid. I remember watching The Practice. I like The Practice. I remember being on the edge of my seat. The Practice was good. No, I grew up on TV and movies. Yeah, I'm like a TV– yeah, I'm a watcher.

58:49 In Chicago.

58:50 Yes, in the Burbs, in the basement.

58:53 Yeah. Okay, so you're– so you got tickets going on sale soon?

58:57 Not always. Always.

58:58 They're always.

58:58 And I update the links by myself. So sometimes people will be like, where is the ticket?

59:02 It's DIY. And I'm just like, I don't do it yet.

59:05 You can't do it. Like, people are so helpless these days. How do I find tickets? I don't know. Search for it. How do I find stuff? Right. I don't understand. It's like, you have to have the link. You have to do the buy.

59:17 You have to do it.

59:17 It's like, if you wanted to go to something, wouldn't you like... People are really, really fucking helpless. It's very, it's frustrating.

59:25 It is the iPad babies because I launched a merch shop for, cause I've got my vocal stem diva. You're not supposed to do that. You're going to go to Rikers. And I launched merch a couple of weeks ago. I was bombarded with DMS asking me the overall feedback was this website doesn't look that nice on a phone. This website was made. In 30 seconds.

59:51 Oh, okay.

59:52 I did not. Using like a bot. Like this is like not me. This is like really hard for me to do. Barely got the links up there.

1:00:01 Are you going to switch it? No.

1:00:03 I'm leaving it. You want the shirt? Figure it out.

1:00:05 Figure it out.

1:00:06 Figure it out.

1:00:07 Get the thing. Get in there.

1:00:10 So you got links in your bio.

1:00:12 I have the links in the bio.

1:00:13 I post the things.

1:00:14 I have a designer on retainer. It's just like when I started in 09, this was not. You didn't have to have eight other jobs. It's like I just am like a dinosaur, I guess. Like I'm just trying to hold on.

1:00:30 If I have to update the link in bio, it's a full hour. I set aside an hour because I'm like something's going to go wrong.

1:00:36 For me, it's the mental thing.

1:00:37 It's the login.

1:00:38 It's the mental thing.

1:00:40 If I only have a few more passwords left. And I'm doing.

1:00:43 Multiple club dates. You have to do each time. You know, it's like a seven. I have a nine. I have a Friday. I have a Saturday. And I'm just like, I guess it's like people have harder jobs. I should figure it out. Well, the data processor.

1:00:51 And then I did make merch for a while.

1:00:53 And I was like, I just don't want to. It's never enough. I'm like carrying stuff. I just, I wish I had a bigger thirst for cash, you know? But my thirst is for lounging and relaxing.

1:01:04 Beautiful.

1:01:05 Same. And the creative arts.

1:01:08 Should we set her up with someone? What?

1:01:10 Sexually?

1:01:11 Yeah.

1:01:11 Yeah. You should.

1:01:14 If you're going to describe it like that, you fucking freak.

1:01:16 I said such a bad date. She said, sexually? I actually had a, this has never happened to me, but I was at dinner with friends on Thursday night for a friend's birthday.

1:01:27 Sure.

1:01:27 And someone was like, oh, you dropped this. And it was like a phone number and a.

1:01:33 Was it the person giving it to you?

1:01:35 Yeah, he goes, I think you dropped this.

1:01:36 I would have drawn my clothes off.

1:01:38 I know, I was excited. And then him and his friend left, and then it was like a sweet note with his phone number, and it says Chicago area code. Oh!

1:01:45 Do you think he knows who you are?

1:01:47 Yeah, because he complimented me on the way. But he's like a hardcore smoker, it felt like. He really smelled like cigarettes. That's okay.

1:01:55 I can change him.

1:01:55 No.

1:01:56 See?

1:01:57 See? But I know lots of smokers that don't smell. So it is like, how much are you smoking?

1:02:02 Well, you were at a bar.

1:02:03 No, I was at a restaurant. I was at a nice restaurant.

1:02:05 You were at a restaurant.

1:02:06 Which means he just come from outside drinking a cigarette smoke.

1:02:10 Yeah. Okay. Yeah. That is kind of insane.

1:02:12 Did you text him yet?

1:02:13 Yeah.

1:02:13 Oh, yeah. I texted him that night because I thought it was a bold, fun move. So I reward that behavior. Well, I left town. So I said, for sure, I'll let you know when I'm back in town. Okay. Okay. Circle back around.

1:02:24 You're back in town.

1:02:25 Yeah, I know, I know.

1:02:26 Wait, no, do you have your phone with you?

1:02:28 Yeah, yeah, but I have to check my phone because I have plans tomorrow. Like, I think maybe I have to figure out when I could do it. And then I leave again Thursday. So it's like, it has to be tomorrow or Wednesday. I just am, I am a busy person.

1:02:40 Yeah, you are.

1:02:40 But my one friend that dates all the time, he goes, well, I make time for it. You're like not making time for it. And I'm like, I just don't know how to squeeze dates in like that. But I'm on it. How do you get your gigs done? Do you seek them out or do they invite you to come? I have a road agent. Okay. So I have all these agents and one of them, his job is like live.

1:02:59 And so the offers come in or he's getting offers or whatever. But I've been doing this a while and I don't sell that many tickets, but I'm a pleasure to be around.

1:03:10 So.

1:03:12 I get booked. People book me and they like me when I'm there.

1:03:15 You're sickening me. You make me want to barf. And the people that do come see me.

1:03:19 Do they enjoy it? They spend money. They're buying bottles of wine.

1:03:23 They're buying drinks.

1:03:23 They're getting the hummus.

1:03:24 They're getting the hummus. They're buying stuff.

1:03:27 They're getting the abs for the table.

1:03:29 Okay.

1:03:29 Good, good, good.

1:03:30 Wait.

1:03:31 Wait.

1:03:31 No, people, whenever my audience leaves, and same with the live podcast shows, people are like, you can come back whenever you want. This was, like, such lovely people. Everyone tipped so well. And that's very important to me.

1:03:41 That's amazing. Hearing that your audience treats service workers well.

1:03:45 It's really.

1:03:46 Because, like, what would you do?

1:03:48 I know lots of comedians who hate their crowd.

1:03:50 Yeah.

1:03:51 But that's, like, they've leaned into it. They've built it.

1:03:54 Because that's just theirs. Yes.

1:03:55 It is what it is.

1:03:56 What do you do? Yeah. Yeah.

1:03:58 But no, my people are good. So yeah, I have this agent. So I'm getting, I have to, I forgot I'm going to Raleigh. I got Raleigh. I got to post that. But, um, so I'm always, and then like a lot of the clubs are owned by like, like, you know, they have a bunch across the country. And then in New York, it's like, I send a veils to the clubs. Or people in my DMs are messaging me.

1:04:22 Do you got anything in New York? Well, I'm at the Cellar all the time, New York Comedy Club, Gotham. Today I'm doing some show for Bilt. I don't know. I'm doing Union Hall. I'm always just doing bar shows and random things in New York.

1:04:34 Are you good with giving people random advice?

1:04:37 Yeah, why?

1:04:38 Okay, because we're going to do Tales from the DMs. Okay, I'm so excited. Where people give us, like, send in their questions.

1:04:42 Okay, yeah. No, Virgo, yeah. I don't follow good advice, but I could change someone's life for the better.

1:04:49 You could change someone's life. We don't know if it's going to be better.

1:04:51 No, it will be. I give really good advice. I'm, like, pretty wise.

1:04:56 I see that.

1:04:57 And I have really good quotes I give people when they're about to do huge professional things, and it.

1:05:01 Really helps people. Like what? Like a professional gig?

1:05:03 One of my best advice things when people do late night or they're taping– or, like– you know, big show type thing. I go, this is not a test. It's your reward. Okay. Like this is your reward to be able to do late night. This isn't a test.

1:05:17 So it's like, pressure's off. You got it. Yeah.

1:05:21 So like have a good fucking time.

1:05:23 And so like, do you work on any TV shows?

1:05:25 Yeah, I've been on Survival of the Thickest for like three seasons. So that was fun. I got to be like a kooky roommate. So that was fun. And I was actually only supposed to be in four episodes and get kicked off after being the worst person ever. But like I said, I'm a pleasure.

1:05:40 She's a pleasure to have in the studio.

1:05:43 I was able to hold up. I actually, first season, I got a bonus because of my great attitude. Nice. Yeah. Because it was such a tough schedule. That's never happened to me.

1:05:52 It never happened.

1:05:53 No one's surprised about that.

1:05:54 No one's ever. Okay.

1:05:56 What TV shows? I used to do a lot of non-script. Oh, I was in an episode of Harlem. I think that was the last thing I did.

1:06:02 Love.

1:06:03 Or in two episodes because they brought me back because you're a pleasure. Yeah.

1:06:07 So maybe this SVU audition, you're a pleasure to be around.

1:06:10 I'm happy to do it. I'm about, I'm hopefully going to have my own, like I'm, I'm in the process of like pitching a show. So I'm really excited about that. I think it's good, but I'm auditioning nonstop for movies and TV shows.

1:06:19 The SVU audition. You'll let us know how it goes. Oh yeah.

1:06:22 Well, no, I actually wouldn't tell anybody and I would wait till it airs. Well, I know it's so quick. Like sometimes, you know, I get small parts and really cool things and like, you never know what they're going to use.

1:06:31 Was it in person or a video?

1:06:34 Which I love because I love my acting teacher.

1:06:37 You get to control it. Yeah.

1:06:39 Well, he, he puts in the effort. I know he, we love each other. Like he's going to like make, he's going to have idea. We're going to like do something good. Yeah.

1:06:47 Yeah. Okay, let's get into Tales from the DMs. Let's do it. This is Tales from the DMs. This is all the weird and wild, freaky deaky, wicked, sick, twisted, nauseating things you send us from the internet.

1:07:01 Okay, great.

1:07:01 Friends, what do I always say? While Michael is a lawyer, he's not your lawyer, so get your own.

1:07:08 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, what do you guys do when you hang out together outside the pod?

1:07:11 Usually just like hard drugs and gossip.

1:07:14 A lot of drinking.

1:07:14 Okay.

1:07:15 Eating.

1:07:15 We eat. Yeah, shooting range. We're big. Second Amendment. Big. Huge.

1:07:21 I'm down with that. I want to go shooting. There's a place in Brooklyn you can get certified in a weekend and learn how to shoot.

1:07:26 All of that was a lie. What do we do? We go thrifting.

1:07:28 No, I know, but if you guys want to learn to shoot, we go to dinner.

1:07:31 We eat a lot. Yeah, we eat a lot.

1:07:33 We eat and we sit. Because I don't like to go out. I like to be inside.

1:07:37 We have a lot of friends in common that we love to talk about.

1:07:40 Right.

1:07:40 So there's always a lot.

1:07:41 Of catching up about whatever happens. But yeah, we like dinner and stuff because I don't go outside.

1:07:47 Melissa doesn't drink a lot.

1:07:49 Not anymore. Although this summer I drank a lot.

1:07:52 How can you not?

1:07:53 Next summer.

1:07:54 Bariatric surgery.

1:07:56 And so I get drunk really fast.

1:07:58 You can't drink like– she can't drink like us.

1:08:00 But this summer I drank a lot.

1:08:03 Yeah, she did.

1:08:03 But it's been a party summer. Yeah. Especially in New York City. It has.

1:08:07 After that winter.

1:08:08 I don't remember the winter, but I remember the Knicks and the World Cup.

1:08:14 CJ, guide us to the best of these DMs because I got about four.

1:08:18 I want to ask you about that, Cameron.

1:08:20 Oh, yeah.

1:08:20 There's one asking Melissa. There's one asking Melissa about Enron. And then I thought it would be fun to ask Lisa about the Lemon Revenge X story.

1:08:33 So we'll start with this. We'll just while we have her. You look great. That's just the wide. So that's not going to be your entire shot. This is going to be your main shot. So don't do that.

1:08:43 I should have brushed my hair. I just couldn't.

1:08:46 What do you mean you couldn't?

1:08:47 But you know, I woke up with such a good messy vibe and I should have just kept it. You know, it's like, it has to be like a natural messy.

1:08:54 It's got to be like the right kind of.

1:08:56 Went to my coffee shop. You look great. Don't worry about it.

1:08:59 Just like, I'm not girl. Yeah, I have like an oversized outfit walking the dog. Doesn't really match. Sort of unshaven. I love feeling like that because it's also like a posture. It's a vibe. It's like you do say... Something that you normally wouldn't say.

1:09:15 What? No, I love that my coffee shop sees me in all forms, you know? So, like, they know how I'm feeling.

1:09:20 Do you, like, violently flirt with your baristas?

1:09:23 No, they're, like, a lot. They're, like, very young, attractive cuties. And I love being a part of the community. But, no, I'm not trying to hook up with your barista. No. They're very attractive, though. They're all very beautiful people.

1:09:39 Okay. So, what are we at?

1:09:43 The Enron one.

1:09:44 Okay.

1:09:44 So this is from Wendy.

1:09:46 Okay.

1:09:46 This is really funny. Why Enron? Because I worked for a law firm that represented Enron. Okay. And it was my last foray into being apparently- Can I just say.

1:09:58 There's a joy in Lisa's eyes as you tell her that you worked for the law firm that represented Enron. It was awful. I haven't seen her light up like that.

1:10:06 No, I know.

1:10:07 It's bad. This whole interview.

1:10:08 That's not true.

1:10:08 No, I'm kidding. There was a fucking twinkle.

1:10:11 No, no, no. You didn't get excited about it.

1:10:13 She went... It was very like, the tea is dropping. It was very like, the girl I hated in high school just changed her profile photo from the husband and wife to just her. That was the look you just gave. Yeah, that's always so good, too. That was the look. So juicy. Okay, let's read. Do you want me to read it for you?

1:10:32 Yeah, you can read it.

1:10:34 Because you're going to answer it, so I'll read it. Okay, which one is it?

1:10:37 Wendy.

1:10:38 Wait, so, oh, it's really short.

1:10:39 Yeah.

1:10:40 Okay, wait, so since Melissa worked on the Enron case, did she meet Amal Gloomy?

1:10:45 No, I did not.

1:10:47 That was the whole question.

1:10:48 That's the whole question. I thought it was going to.

1:10:49 Be like, okay, you got anything from that trial or case that you want to share? It was terrible.

1:10:55 I mean, it was horrible. My hair fell out and I had the runs all the time and I hated it. It was awful. It was awful, awful, awful. And that's why my friend, I'm not going to say her name because we're not friends anymore, but she saw me on the subway. Asked me about it and I burst into tears on the F train.

1:11:12 It was terrible.

1:11:13 And that's when I knew you had to leave.

1:11:14 Yep. Have you cried on the F train? I've cried on the F train.

1:11:18 I don't remember which trains I've cried on.

1:11:21 Right. But I've... She couldn't see through the tears.

1:11:23 I remember the last time I fully cried on the train.

1:11:26 Yeah.

1:11:27 I think that is a quintessential New York experience of crying on the subway at least once.

1:11:34 One time someone gave me a folded paper with a nice little inspirational quote on it. It happened to me once. Actually, when I wasn't on the train, I was crying.

1:11:42 I would kill myself. If someone did that to me, I'd kill myself.

1:11:45 I was crying outside of City Hall one day about something.

1:11:51 And this man came over to me. And he gave me a tissue and he was like, let me tell you something. You are going to be all right. And I was like, but it was so, it was really. Well, I've been on both sides because I saw someone crying recently and I was like, are you okay? And they were very dismissive, like, get the fuck out of my face.

1:12:10 And I went, for sure. And then I was crying a few months ago and someone did the same to me and I went, get out of here. So, like, I've been on both sides.

1:12:18 Yeah. If I saw someone crying in the streets, I would never- I brought her water.

1:12:22 She didn't want it, which is fine, too.

1:12:23 I would never do anything like that, ever. What? Stop and help someone who was crying on the street. Crying is mortifying in public. If you're in public and you're crying, it's like- very mortifying. I would never want to add attention to that person's experience. If I'm crying in public, don't fucking stop. Because I'm going through something, the last thing I want is to have to choke it back to explain what's happening. I would want to fall into a hole in the ground if someone.

1:12:54 Stopped and talked to me while I was crying.

1:12:56 I have seen somebody crying and I don't really ask them if they're okay, but if I have a tissue, I just give it to them and I'm like.

1:13:04 That's good. That's good.

1:13:06 Because I hear you. It's embarrassing. And you're a stranger.

1:13:11 I don't want to talk to you about why my personal life is crumbling on the streets.

1:13:16 Of New York, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just went to the microphone. I'm so sorry, Paul.

1:13:22 If I have a tissue on me and it's clean in a package, I'll just be like.

1:13:28 Yeah, it's kind of like when you fall. I was going to say if you fall. The falling is when I'm like, no one look at me. Because I had a couple years ago, I fell like five times in one year. I was like, I could not stop falling.

1:13:38 I'm sorry for laughing at you.

1:13:39 I could not stop falling.

1:13:40 I just immediately.

1:13:41 Slapped you in the face. I'm so sorry. Truly, I was walking. I felt my knee give out and I fell. I was in Austin. Another time I tripped after a fun night. Okay. I just kept, I fell at a pool, like, I'm walking. Like, I just, there was like a summer of falling. It was like crazy. Dizzy bitch summer. Like, what the fuck?

1:14:03 Miss Vertigo.

1:14:04 I have these pants that every time I wear them, I fall. And I should stop wearing them.

1:14:08 Is it the white pants? No. Melissa has four pairs of white jeans.

1:14:12 Whoa. I don't want four pairs of white jeans. It's not a flex. It's I am impressed.

1:14:20 Cry for help.

1:14:20 It's a cry for help. I don't know why I have... You just keep doing it.

1:14:24 But she keeps keeping them.

1:14:25 But because I don't know what I'm... Like, what if I get rid of it and then later I'm just like.

1:14:30 If only I had the boot cut.

1:14:31 No, I'm actually really mentally unwell and have an unhealthy attachment to things. So, like, I get it.

1:14:36 Give us an example.

1:14:37 No judgment here. Like what?

1:14:39 No, like. I know it's going to be the sickest.

1:14:44 It's not even that sick. There's just like a dress I loved for forever. And I was living in L.A. and I flew my best friend out to help me purge stuff because she's like very good at organizing. And she's like, you need to let this dress go. And I go, but I love the dress. She goes, there's holes in the dress.

1:15:00 Oh.

1:15:01 You've worn the dress for over a decade. You've got to say bye to the dress.

1:15:05 We've all seen the dress.

1:15:05 And you've got to get rid of the dress. I truly started tearing up and I was like, okay, get rid of it. But I think about the dress. That's what I brought up on stage yesterday at my show and tell show. I'm like, people are wanting to get rid of stuff. There's a peasant skirt I got rid of in high school. Still think about it. And I got rid of a Madonna shirt in junior high. I wish I still had it.

1:15:20 Oh, I wish you had that too.

1:15:21 Like that would have been cool. Like peasant skirt.

1:15:24 Let it go. Let go of the peasant skirt.

1:15:27 And there's a free people skirt I got rid of. And there's like a jumpsuit I got rid of. I think about like, I do think about that. I get, I get holding on to maybe one pair, but do you wear them?

1:15:38 Would you wear that peasant skirt?

1:15:40 Yeah, I'm kind of wearing like a long flowy skirt now.

1:15:44 Yeah, I would.

1:15:45 Yeah, I would love it. I don't know if I'd still fit into it. Or my niece, like my niece wears my stuff now. So she goes into the closet.

1:15:53 The Madonna shirt was a mistake.

1:15:56 I know. And it was like her short blonde, like glamour era. Was it her true blue era? I don't know if it was true. I have like all these photos in fifth grade wearing the shirt. And I'm like, that shirt would be so special. Okay, but let me just say this to you. you were wearing the shirt in the fifth grade.

1:16:14 Yeah.

1:16:14 Yeah, but someone could have, someone could use it.

1:16:17 Were you really like busty in the fifth grade?

1:16:20 No, I wouldn't be able to wear the shirt, but it would be something special for someone else in my life or like to have this part of history. Like that shirt was like historic.

1:16:31 I gave a shirt away in the bin and then it was my husband's and I didn't like it. And there was a homeless guy wearing it the next day on our street. And my husband saw it and I got in trouble. Yeah. It was like his college theater.

1:16:45 Did he know immediately it was his?

1:16:46 Yeah, he came home and I had to immediately be like, Yes, I literally donated that, but I didn't think you should have it.

1:16:52 That is a good part about New York. When you do want to purge, you don't have to go to a place. It's right there. If you put stuff on the street, people will take it. Someone's going to take it.

1:16:59 It's nice. We have to get out of the studio.

1:17:00 Already? Yeah, it's been an absolute pleasure.

1:17:03 Oh, wow.

1:17:04 We didn't do any of the talking points.

1:17:06 I know. We don't do that.

1:17:08 Does anyone else need advice? It was just if you met them all Clooney. What the fuck? No, no, no. There are a lot of other ones. There are a lot of other ones.

1:17:14 We didn't do any of the talking points. cj wrote them and worked on it all week we don't ever.

1:17:19 Do and i by the way this one time i went to six flags and there was this grown man sitting right inside the gate hysterically crying and i go up to him and i said hey man are you okay and he just goes god fucking damn.

1:17:31 It Okay, we'll do another one. Make sure you guys set me.

1:17:40 Up with someone soon.

1:17:42 Talk amongst yourselves.

1:17:43 She mailed a lemon to her boyfriend every day for over 1,000 lemons.

1:17:47 She didn't mail them. She had a lemon delivered.

1:17:51 Every day for over 1,000 lemons. 1,400 lemons. Why?

1:17:54 Why? Just to harass him? Like it was an ex? Yeah.

1:18:00 Yeah. Ex-boyfriend. See?

1:18:01 Isn't that good? But listen to this, though. She was arrested.

1:18:06 For harassment.

1:18:08 Thank you. That face is how I feel every time I think about that.

1:18:11 Yeah.

1:18:11 Did she get charged, though? I mean, convicted?

1:18:14 No. We never actually... care enough to research it but we do care enough to keep.

1:18:18 Talking about it doing crime research it's actually really hard sometimes to find like it's all like splashy news like.

1:18:23 Charge charges rarely go forward what.

1:18:27 Was the sentence and the sentence.

1:18:29 Will be like four years later yeah girl you're talking to the right person i.

1:18:33 Know it's like so hard to find you.

1:18:36 Won't find it sometimes Sometimes you have to call the clerk at the county. But anyway.

1:18:40 Because I'll do the inmate lockups and stuff. But yeah, I guess I could call I don't care.

1:18:46 But I need it for like the trial. For the podcast. Well, where can people find you?

1:18:53 At Glitter Cheese on Instagram. And that's my website. And on the road, my podcast is That's Messed Up. And I have a Netflix special called Night Owl, which I would love for people to continue watching.

1:19:05 Thank you so much for joining us.

1:19:06 Thanks for coming. Thank you.

1:19:09 Thank you, everyone, for watching Brief Recess. I'm going to stop slurring and get off the air. We'll see you next week in court.

1:19:16 Not me.

1:19:19 This has been an Exactly Right production recorded at iHeart Studios, hosted by me, Michael Foote.

1:19:24 And me, Melissa Malbranch. Our producer is CJ Ferroni.

1:19:27 This episode is edited by Mark Schroeder.

1:19:30 Our associate producer is Christina Chamberlain, and our guest booker is Patrick Hotner.

1:19:34 Our theme song was composed by Tom Breyfogle with artwork from Charlotte Delarue and Vanessa Lilac with photography by Brad Obono.

1:19:41 Brief Recess is executive produced by Karen Kilgariff, Georgia Hardstark, and Danielle Kramer.

1:19:46 You can find me on Instagram at Department of Redundancy Department or on TikTok at Michael Foote.

1:19:51 And I'm on both Instagram and TikTok as Melissa Malbranch.

1:19:54 Got legal questions? Reach out at briefrecess at exactlyrightmedia.com. Listen to Brief Recess on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And of course, we're a podcast with video. Search for Brief Recess on YouTube.