Trump Isn't Friends With Dolly Parton or George Washington (w. Hannah Solow)

Welcome to Brief Recess. I'm Michael Foote.

I'm Melissa Malbranch.

Today we're going to talk about Dolly Parton's death and the suspicious circumstances around the Kardashian sisters. We're going to talk about the GOP majority and how they accomplished Lake America. We're going to talk about all the news and bananas, how you're not a New Yorker until your partner sleeps with your brother. We're going to sit down with our favorite Broadway boop, Hannah Solo, and we're also going to answer all your wicked and wild tales from the DMs, so stick around. I can never pull off a jump.

I feel like I've tried on a lot of jumpsuits.

I've seen you in a romper.

Can you stop pruning the foliage?

It bothers me for some reason.

It gets caught in the top.

I don't know why.

You don't like that?

Weird. The most random things annoy me.

You know that. Remember when Eric Botcher told us that he doesn't, his parents.

Plant artificial plants in the yard.

Right, he got them really good artificial plants. In the yard, he said?

Yes.

Okay. That's interesting. I have a friend of mine who has artificial flowers in a pot in front of her house on either side.

Oh, maybe it wasn't Eric Botcher. Maybe it was you. Yeah.

I know Eric Botcher bought his parents like a fake rubber tree plant.

I'm always mixing people up.

You know what I do all the time? This is really terrible. When I hear that somebody has died, like a famous person.

Sure. It hasn't happened lately.

No. So, yeah, there isn't anybody who's died lately where I was like, oh, I thought they were already dead. But usually I already think they're dead. And I'm like, oh, so-and-so is still alive? I thought they were dead.

Listen, Dolly Parton died. I know.

That's actually, you know.

I suspect foul play.

She was 80.

And you know what we don't know?

What don't we know?

Where were the Kardashians when Dolly Parton died?

Why are you doing this?

Because I know that they are clawing at the archival outfits to squeeze their bodies into the Dolly Parton looks for the next Met Gala. Fair. So I want to know where they are. I want to know an alibi from KK.

I feel like here's what I think. Given what we know about Ms. Parton, I think that if they would have just asked her, she would have loaned it to them.

I really do think so. Yeah, she was so generous like that. She was so generous.

She would just be like, sure.

We need to protect the archival outfits from the Kardashians for sure.

I think, I mean, yeah, I'm pretty sure they have.

Let's get into a sidebar on Dolly Parton.

Okay, let's. What's interesting about Dolly Parton is that it's one of those things where she was just always there.

Right.

Like my entire life, Dolly Parton was just there, you know, and didn't think about her one way or another. But every time she popped up, she was cute and bubbly and she had some songs you could sing along to.

She was never like doing her big one where she was like, you know, I'm going to go on a. 200-city world tour, bombard you with an album. There's going to be a billion-dollar media blitz where you can't get away from me. She was always there, being iconic, being her incredible self.

Yes, and just being one of these people that everybody gravitated towards, right? Because she was so bubbly and cute and everything, even when she spoke about serious things. Here is what I find interesting. Outrageous.

Outraging.

Enraging. It makes me absolutely sick. I don't know why.

Melissa's hands are pressed in prayer. She's invoking the Lord.

Because I'm just trying to understand, right? The President of the United States keeps on doing this one thing that I think is so fucking weird.

Piss off Melissa using this one weird trick.

He keeps on generating, or somebody on his team, they keep on generating AI images of him doing something, right? So I think he tweeted that like he knew her and that she loved him, but instead of, and here's the thing, right? From now and from when we knew him before, if there is anything that Donald Trump has always been is a whore for a photo op, right?

Like he is, He's hopping in a selfie.

He always, he wants.

To be there. So if he did not take a photo of him and Dolly Parton together and post that, it's because it doesn't exist.

Right. He's got about 50 photos with Jeffrey Epstein. Sure. When he showed him, he would still, I think if Jeffrey Epstein were still alive, he would be hopping in a photo with him. He'd be like, well, he's getting a lot of coverage.

So he generated this AI photo of him and Dolly walking arm in arm together. And it's, you know, again, let us for a moment forget what kind of president he is, right? Let's forget for a moment that he's killing the country. Just for a second. Just for a second. Isn't it weird how he keeps on doing this? Like he's generating these AI photos of himself as Jesus himself.

A doctor.

A doctor saving soldiers.

A doctor saving soldiers. Wait, actually.

I feel like where there's no water left for the data centers, we're in a drought.

I just find it so strange. And I just don't understand. Are the people who love him, are they looking at this and being like, oh, yeah. So he's Dolly Parton. Here he is with the plans of the new ballroom walking Armand, not Armand Arm, but walking George Washington.

Right?

He's the Pope.

Plans for the ballroom walking arm in arm with Dolly Parton?

No, no, no. With George Washington.

Oh, okay.

Not arm in arm, though. But he's leading George Washington on a tour looking at the new ballroom.

So he's saying this dead president would... Would have loved my plan. My plan for the ballroom. Right.

He's generated a photo of himself.

Because there's no living former president who would say that the ballroom's a good idea. He had to get George Washington.

But it's so... I just don't understand.

It's so stupid.

But it's not just stupid.

It's actually really confusing.

It's so confusing.

It doesn't make any sense.

And it's so....

Someone signed up for the ChatGPT Pro on his team and they're like, we've got to get the $ 15. 99 worth of this. We've got the Claude Fable downloaded on his iPad. We've got to use it or we're going to run out of usage credits.

I find it actually deeply concerning because I think it just shows a part of him... He is so unhinged, right? And you're the president of the United States. Don't you have anything better to do? Why don't you have anything better to do? You're laughing.

I am dead.

This is my trauma response.

I am so serious about this.

It is. What are you?

What are you doing?

What email are you not reading while you're doing this, right? Or like what treaty did you, you forgot to sign that housing bill.

You forgot to sign the housing bill, but now it's Lake America. Fuck you.

Yes, yeah.

I mean, get out of here.

Lake America, right. He had time for that. Let's get into algorithm as showing on Lake America. What was he distracting from? What was actually going on? Was it because there were strikes in Iran? I think that's what it was.

I think that's what it is.

It was the same time this weekend.

Because I think this is This might be the first time or the first time in a while where the United States and Iran have exchanged fire.

In like over a month. Yes.

Correct.

Yeah.

So, I mean, I think that this president and his administration believed that the American people are like kittens that are very easily distracted by something furry and shiny.

Yeah.

Right? So let me throw glitter at them so they could look at that. Or like, remember that dog from the Up movie? He's a squirrel. Like, that's what I feel like he thinks that we are.

Yes. And it is working to some extent.

I find it so insulting.

It's insane. It's truly unhinged. And I think that, like, just renaming shit why though? It would be. And so that's the other thing is that like, okay. So to rename something, right? Why there, it actually doesn't make any difference. It is stupid. It's like sort of a, a PR stunt, right? If he actually had an agenda and if MAGA and the Republican party and the GOP were all aligned on something and they could get Congress to move, right. They still have the house. They still have Senate. Uh, they're not aligned on anything. They can't get anything through. They don't want to get anything through before the midterms. Then they wouldn't have to be doing all these meaningless stunts, right?

Because they would be moving forward.

You know what it's like? I think the last time, I think we were speaking to Suzanne Lambert. I think it was her. And She was saying how these people who are already in a place of privilege, you're already ahead, right? Ahead of the game.

And you still suck.

Well, white privilege is difficult to admit to when you've amounted to nothing despite it. Right?

It's so true.

So the president, in theory, I feel like any president of any given party would want to be in this position, right? Where all the... everything is sort of aligned in your favor, right? You have the Congress, you have it. But you're still not able to do anything.

Gas prices went up. Nobody can afford groceries. The groceries we are buying, they're filled with glass, lead, and possum ankles.

You can't eat anything.

Is what we're eating. We're not eating steak. We're eating Walrus meat. I'm sorry. Those are possum ankles. I ate that Argentinian beef and I can't turn my head to the left now. I don't know what's going on in there, but you've got the House, you've got the Senate, you've got the President, you've got everything, and your shitty little kid is still living in your basement because they can't afford a house. So what's the tea, baby? At what point do you start voting different?

And so, again, I always wonder What's going on? What's going on in the home? What's going on in the home, right?

Just throw up a graphic, CJ. What's going on in the home?

What's going on in the home? What's going on in the house, right? What's going on in the house? Are the people all whispering to each other?

Like, what the fuck is going on?

Did you hear what he said?

What do we do?

Mag is turning on him as of this morning. So this is, well, not as of this morning. They've done been turning on him.

I don't care.

But Trump went on Truth Social and was like, America, we have to get behind data centers. Data centers are the future. We must accept them all because no one wants a data center in their backyard.

Right. Because it sucks up all the resources.

It sucks up all the resources. Indiana still doesn't have electricity. It's been almost three weeks. They've got a data center right there. They build them right near, like very in close proximity to underserved communities, predominantly black and brown.

Sure, sure, sure.

They screw up the power grid. They screw up the water supply. Like, it's not good. Right. And Trump posted on Truth Social and was like, y'all, get behind. I don't know why I said y'all.

Yeah, but go ahead.

You know what? I'm allowed.

You are.

I can do a y'all every now and then. It's gender neutral. Y'all, get behind data centers. We love them. If we want to be Americans, we've got to love data centers. Otherwise, we're going to be poor, is what he said. Yo, the way MAGA snatched that fake tan, they slapped the fake tan off his face, snatched that little wig. They freaked out on him on Truth Social, his own platform.

Did he cry about it?

Sorry, one sec.

You all right? What do you got? You got something?

No, I just ate that cookie. It's not contagious.

It's carbs. Michael had a cookie. Oh, my God.

I had a cookie before I came in here, and I said– Magnanimously. I said, Melissa, would you like to share this cookie with me?

And I said, yes, thank you very much.

Then Melissa looked at me. We're chatting. Wait, go ahead. We're chatting. And Melissa just says.

I took a bite of the cookie.

We're chatting. She took a bite. She says, this cookie was near a banana. It was. Those of you avid listeners know Melissa hates bananas.

I don't like bananas.

You can't eat a banana in the room with her.

You cannot. I would prefer that you did not.

It'll be fisticuffs.

Well, I'll be very unhappy with you.

You know the first 10 minutes of Saving Private Ryan? That's what it's going to be like.

I cannot stand you.

That's what it's going to be like if you eat a banana with her.

But yeah, and so I'll never forget. She's up with this cookie. Yeah, Michael and I have a mutual friend.

Who is it? We'll bleep it out. Jones. Who? Jonesy. Oh.

And so actually leave it in.

She'll get a kick out of it. It's like who?

And I was like hungry. And I was just like, hey, do you have like a snack? And she was like, sure.

A lovely, generous gesture.

Right. I asked for a snack. No, no, no, no. I asked for a snack and she provided me with some popcorn. So I take some popcorn. I put it in my mouth. And I was like, is there a banana in your bag? And she was like, yes. I was like, you can take that back because I can taste it.

Thank you so much.

The eau de banana went into the bag of popcorn.

It's been recalled by Melissa only, she said.

I'll never forget. You know what else I don't like? I don't like hazelnuts. And I, that's why, remember I don't like Nutella? You know that.

I do know that. It is like your one character flaw.

I mean, I've got many character flaws. According to the reviews, I've got lots of character flaws.

According to the reviews, we have to finish a fucking story. Because the banana cookie, Melissa rejected. She said it was near a banana. I don't have a banana on my person.

There was a banana near it.

And then I remembered, in the case of pastries, there was banana bread offered. And she knew. Like a truffle pig. You can sniff it out.

Are you calling me a pig?

Like those Jack Russell Terriers. Or a dog? That find the... Well, I don't know what... Yeah. Yeah, you just stuck at home. Yeah, I am. Yeah.

I think when you don't like something, you can really suss it out.

Go ahead. I got that cookie and then I was biking to the studio. But I had a very important legal call.

Okay.

Very important lawyer thing's happening. And it's going to start raining. So I started... I was like, let me just get to the studio before it starts shitting down rain. Right. So it's not wet, brief recess. After dark, I'm drenched and... You know what I mean?

That's another show.

A sultry like cologne advertisement. And of course the legal call happens like right when I'm at a stoplight. So I'm like, okay, cool. Let me pull over to like a side street in Chelsea. So that way it's like a little bit more quiet. People think I'm buttoned up. It's like petticoats. Like people think it's a little bit more formal. They don't hear the ambulance go by. So I was biking up 6th Avenue. So I pull over a quiet, beautiful side street in Chelsea. I get on the phone call. We're talking. It's like a group. This woman comes out of the building and starts screaming into the phone, how dare you sleep with my brother? No.

No.

Like right behind me.

Speaking into her phone.

Her phone. She starts screaming. Screaming. It was like the bone collector. Why do you care who's sleeping with your brother? That's weird. I think it was her partner.

Oh. Screaming.

Crying like big elephant tears. Alligator tears. Not elephant tears. Alligator tears. Crocodile tears.

Crocodile tears.

We went through the full mudang. Every animal cracker we went through. Crying, screaming. I'm like, excuse me one moment. I'm like trying to book it down the street with my bike to get away from this woman who's clearly going through.

Sure, she's having a crisis.

If your partner slept with your brother... Type it in the comments. Right. And we want to hear about it. If you are her, if she is you, if you're every woman.

It's all on you.

Let us know.

We want to hear.

We do.

Because I wanted to, that was the call I actually wanted to be on, not my call. And it was, it was bad. She's crying. It was, the voice was so cacophonous. It was very like. Sing-songy Fraulein Maria, but also crying.

But could you hear the pain in the voice?

We were kind of close to Broadway. I feel like she could have been an understudy for someone.

Speaking of understudies, I see what you did there, by the way.

What? Me? We've got someone in the studio?

Today we have.

Everyone's favorite O'Mary performer. swing, understudy. She goes on for Mary all the time. Hannah Solos in the studio.

It's going to be fun to talk to her.

That girl must live in Times Square. She must live in Midtown. That poor thing.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Seven days, eight days a week. She's here. Because we record on a Monday. I said, can you please come to Midtown on a Monday? I know it's your day off, but she did it.

Yeah, she did.

She did.

Nice.

So we're so excited to have her.

That's going to be a fun chat. Oh, yeah.

We're going to chat with her. Anything else you want to talk about in algorithm? What was on your algorithm before we get into- What was in my algorithm? Hannah. Oh, this guy was following me home the other night. Why? Well, okay. So I was away in like a small little beach town on vacation and I was- Where were you? This was out on the North Fork. Okay. And so I was walking home from the bars, which closed like kind of early, but it was late enough where the only person who was awake was Alyssa. Sure. And I was walking, I went alone. I don't know, something about being like a small town spooky setting. I get a little– I'd rather walk home in the middle of Brooklyn, in the middle of Manhattan at 2, 3 in the morning alone

than on a street where there's nobody.

Yeah, when there's nobody, that's when there's like a weird somebody.

If Jack the Ripper shows up.

That's it.

In the East Village, you scream once. 50 people are like, huh? What's going on? But in a small town like that.

Mm-hmm.

No one can hear your screams. So I started walking home and there was a weird guy. And I was like, oh, the killer.

Weird in what way?

The Wendy Williams, the killer. He was just shifty. And he was kind of like walking in the general direction I was going in to get back to my house. But like far enough away where I knew he was there, but not close enough where I was like, this person's going to jump me. So I was like, Okay, do what?

I don't know if this is what you're supposed to do. I called Alyssa. I called her friend because I was like, this is the only person who's awake.

Yeah, don't call me.

So I called Alyssa and I was like, this is where I am. This is what's going on. This is where I am. And like, this is where I'm heading home. Will you stay on the phone with me? Alyssa, she's going to kill me. She goes... I got you. It's going to be totally fine.

Oh, no.

It was two or three in the morning. She's lit. she turned in the party herself. So I was like, oh no. So I'm like, okay, between the two of us, we've got one brain cell trying to get me home.

I need people to understand how often I worry about either Michael or Alyssa or Michael and Alyssa together. Like there's always, there's always a moment. Like sometimes I'll be texting with you guys or I'll get off the phone with Michael and I'll like, Start talking to myself. And now I'm just like, what's the matter? And I'm just like, fucking Michael and Alyssa.

The best part was she was so committed to taking care of me in this moment. She was like, we're on this. Like, it was us. It was Sergeant Summers. It was us. It was G.I. Jane. She shaved her head. She was like, I'm fully committed. Like, we are together. I'm here for you. You're here for me. Okay. And she was like, okay, where are you? And, like, I can hear her getting out the notes app. Like, she's, like, getting ready for the full investigation. She's ready and available. Okay.

I mean, that's what I'm saying. She's such a good friend. She really is, like, the best.

And so, eventually, like, I'm kind of getting home. She's like, are you home yet? What street are you on now? And I'm like, all right. So, I was near a hospital. And the guy was still following me. Like, he kind of followed me.

Was he following you or was he walking behind you?

So, like, that's where, like, I become the unreliable narrator. Okay. Because there were– I was drinking. So, I'm not totally sure if I was being followed. It's possible– I was just sharing the sidewalk with someone. And there was somebody just walking? It's possible it's just a pedestrian. Just a walker.

Someone who wanted to save on gas money. And I'm like, okay, so he is the killer. And he is wearing a mask made of human flesh. And Alyssa's like, okay, I've got you covered, babe.

And he's walking with a dagger in his hand.

Let's get the light out.

So I'm like, okay, the lights of the hospital are guiding me. She's like, I can hear her computer keys. She's looking up where the hospital is. To triangulate the coordinates.

What's really funny is that you guys track each other, right? Like you track each other on whatever.

Find my friends.

Find my friends. I track them. No one tracks me, but I track them so that if. You really want to know what's going on. All you have to do is, like, look at your phone.

I'm like, Alyssa, there's a tree to the left of the hospital. That's where I am. She's like, okay, I've got it on Google Maps. It's up to me. Well, she really could have been looking at it just to find mine and see exactly where I was.

Because sometimes I look– if you're late for something and I'm waiting for you, I can tell, like– You track me?

Yeah.

You gave– I can't remember why, but we all decided to track each other.

It was years ago.

Yeah, for sure. And then– I don't like being tracked, so I stopped it. But you guys are still.

You keep on keeping on. Yeah. Yeah. Keep an eye on me.

I'm usually home.

Okay. I will say, this man, once I got to the hospital, he did... He went in a different direction.

Okay.

He was scared of that copay. He said... Aren't we all?

No.

So he scrammed. He hit the bricks. And so I took the heel-toe express. I kept stepping. And I got... I live... The house is... My house is near the hospital. So I sort of... Went home from there. And once I got home, Melissa was like, okay, you're home. You're good. Lock the door. Yeah. She knows. Nothing gets past Melissa and Michael at 3 in the morning. Except a bad Uber rating.

Oh, did you ever get your Uber rating fixed?

No, I don't think you can fix an Uber rating. Can you? Comment below if you can fix an Uber rating. I don't know. It's on Lyft. I don't use Uber.

Lyft, whatever.

Lyft, yeah. Okay, we'll be right back with Hannah Solo. We're going to talk about Oh Mary. And I think all the foibles of being a Broadway star.

In the understudy.

Did I use the word foibles right? We'll find out right after this break. Because my friend went and saw, do you remember that show? I know Melissa is interested in the Hasidic Jewish community, but that movie Disobedience with Rick.

I'm constantly bringing this up.

You're constantly bringing up disobedience?

Because they spit in each other's mouths.

Yes!

Oh, my God!

Yes!

My friend was like, I'm going to see it with my mother and grandmother. This was when it was in theaters.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And she was like, is it something I should see with my mother and grandmother? And I was like, so they are having full lesbian intercourse and spitting in each other's mouths. And she just wrote, excuse me.

That was not in the trailer. I was like, yeah.

No, they didn't. They pulled that from the trailer.

And now I'm thinking about it. So the movie had a lasting impression on us all.

Yes.

We're going to take a break so we can all think about it. No, no, no.

Because, right?

Like it's one of those things you remember it. And then my parents saw it and my dad was like, and my dad, you know, my mom, my mother would take my father to do things and he was sort of like, you know, like a dad. Like, all right, I guess I'm going to go do this thing. And I had already seen it. And I was like, did you like it? And my dad was like, I don't understand.

And then my mom was like, my parents are from Haiti. So is that nice, miss? Is that nice?

I'm like, I don't, for some people.

Sure. Yeah.

I was like for some people, but I remember when we were talking to my mom about water sports, that was a whole other.

Thumbs up or thumbs down.

So during the trial, it came out that he was into water sports. And for my.

Mom, That was the conviction.

That was the crime.

Convictable offense was just urine.

And I was like, some people like that. And she was like, no, Melissa.

That's not right.

No.

That is not only a crime in her mother's mind, but also immediate jail. Yeah.

Immediate.

Send away.

Nothing else. Yeah. So the whole trial, when it was going on, she was like, well- The water sports is really what we're on trial here for.

Hey, I love your mom. Bring her in here.

This is what I worry about, though, when it comes when we've got a kink movie like Pillion or we've got something like Disobedience. People will see it and they'll think that's what it is, being gay. They're like, oh, the Pillion, the table. Yeah, that's what it is. Anyway, speaking of being gay and spitting on people, we're so excited to have Hannah Solo here in the studio. Hannah's written some hilarious articles. That's not your bio, sorry.

I was like, tell me more because I have, I guess.

CJ wrote this rundown.

What did I write articles for?

It's his note to me of like, Michael, be sure to read these articles before the recording.

Okay.

I'm a writer for the New York Times.

Hannah Solo is a New York City-based actor, singer, and writer. You may have seen her at UCB Jazz at Lincoln Center or performing as Gertie Cummings in Oklahoma. She's currently understudied at Mary Todd Lincoln and Mary Chaperone slash Bill and O'Mary on Broadway now through January when her contract renews.

Follow her on Instagram at Baby Magoo and welcome everyone. Please welcome Hannah. How did I do, CJ?

That was so good.

That was my first intro. What? Ever? I've been doing this for a year.

Are you sure?

No.

Michael lies constantly.

I do.

You can't believe most of what he says.

This is helpful. This is a good warning for the rest of the time together.

For sure.

Just look at me and I'll be like... Okay, thank you.

I feel so comfortable, open, open.

I want to hear all about it.

You're like, wow, I really am a writer for the New York Times. I didn't even realize I wrote those articles.

It's huge for me.

How has it been being in every iteration of O'Mary, of understudying all these incredible actors, being extraordinary yourself? Tell us about it.

I was just reading a journal that I found in my dressing room recently. from the beginning of our Broadway run. And truly in the journal, it says like, well, it's only going to be a short limited run. So I really need to make the most of it and enjoy myself because then I'll be going back to my day job.

And when we first started, I was still working my day job, which was like- data entry for a functional medicine company, literally doing this backstage, entering private medical data, sorry, on my own computer.

If your medical data was stolen, please contact me. Leave brief recess and exactly right out of it, please. Wow.

Yeah.

So I thought it was going to be such a short run. And here we are two years later.

So super short. Super short.

We've almost done a thousand performances.

Wow. And I see– so I follow some of the Broadway TikTok divas and they talk about the ticket sales of shows and what does well and what doesn't. And O'Mary is always every week nailing it. It's incredible.

What do you think– so– Couple things. So first, for people who don't know what the show is about, what is the show about?

The show is about Mary Todd Lincoln, our former first lady married to Abraham Lincoln, and sort of what if she had dreams of being a cabaret star? Written.

And mary todd was originated by cola scola yes uh.

Our lord and savior yes.

Exactly yeah father son exactly okay so not to center the conversation around me and my experience.

Please do but as egomania Ego mania.

Okay. So I bought the tickets on my phone right when it opened at the Lortel. So this is a couple of years ago. And it was, I saw you were in it and I was like, boots the house down, T, click, click, tap, tap, take out. And I just, the tickets were like $ 30. Like when before and even when entered previews. So this was like T. This was First Testament. Oh, Mary. So this was back in the day.

Thank you.

This was way back. And I had seen a lot of Cole's shows. So I had seen him at the public. So I was like, I know it's going to be a little hilarious nightmare of a show. So bought the tickets. This is where I have to be like brutally honest as a viewer and patron of the arts.

I'm actually scared.

It's the night of. And it's maybe you guys, I think you just finished previews.

Okay.

I maybe don't have my finger on the pulse of what's happening culturally in New York. And I was really tired. So I did turn to my husband and I said, I maybe don't want to go tonight and maybe we should get this up, these tickets away. And he was like, no, let's just go. So I was like, all right, fine.

So we hop on those city bikes. This was before the new law. Mayor Mamdani, where they lowered the speed of the city bikes. So these city bikes go about 80, 90 miles per hour. You can really get some height.

You can really get going.

You can really zoom suit off of a curb and go flying. And so we get to the theater in maybe 60 seconds, right? So it was sort of like we talked about Bedknobs and Broomsticks on a different episode. It was kind of like that.

Hold on a minute. Do you remember that too? Bedknobs and broomsticks?

You know, I do feel like this is a cultural touchstone that I remember it being a thing, but I have no recollection of it.

Okay, so I- Where are you from?

California.

I also have no recollection of this.

Okay. And it is allegedly- Angela Lansbury.

In my, like apparently Gen X, which I am a part of Gen X, were really into it. I have never seen this show, never heard about it ever in my life.

Cartoon?

It's a flying bed with Angela Lansbury from the 90s. Is it a cartoon? No.

It's live action, right?

There's a song from it.

CJ?

1971. Right. So it's not the 90s. It's the ghost of Mary.

So 1971. I was born in 1972. And I have no recollection of this at all. I never saw it. I had never heard of it.

Gay children of the 80s and 90s get in the comments because anyway, we get to the theater and I'm like, Again, we're expecting like Little Joe's Pub.

Sure.

Like, no, this had not been a thing yet. We get there. Those tickets I bought were front row center. So we are inches from the stage. The Lortel is tiny. Tiny. From row center, sitting next to, who's the Kate from Dawson's Creek? Kate Lewis Hudson, not Hudson. Hudson.

Katie Holmes?

Katie Holmes. Sitting next to Katie Holmes. We're like flanked by Katie Holmes and the Project Runway guy. Michael Kors.

Oh, that guy.

So I'm like.

I was hoping it was Tim Dunn.

But whatever. Brad's like, and we get there. The curtain's coming up. And we're walking in the theater and the person on the radio is like, where's seat 1A and 1B? They're empty and front row center empty. at sold out O'Mary. And I grabbed the guy and I go, that's us. And he takes us right to the front.

Oh my gosh.

It was bad. It was really, they were like calling us over the loudspeaker along with the cast. It was bad.

But you made it.

We made it. And it really was, those of you, millions of people have seen O'Mary at this point. I feel like no spoilers. Cole was... Within kissing distance in that last scene, he's sitting right at the stage edge.

Oh, yeah, of course.

Singing to the audience. And it was a little too close for comfort, one might even say.

Oh, really?

Yeah, it was just like a cabaret singer this close.

Oh, I don't like that either.

Are you not audience participation forward?

Ryan Safi show.

Too scary for you.

I get really uncomfortable. But I mean, but I'm not like a dick about it. Do you know what I mean? No, of course. Well, I mean, some people can be.

Sure.

So, I mean, I will. I'm not going to ruin anything for anybody. But I get very nervous and anxious. And I also don't like people very much. Do you know what I mean? Like in big groups, right? I am much better one-on-one or in a small group. So, if I'm in a theater where there's audience participation... That gives me a lot of anxiety. It's not about them or what they're doing. It's me. Yes. You know what I mean?

100%.

So I will because I don't want to ruin it, but I don't really want to.

I don't want to either, to be honest.

Really? Yeah, I was going to ask you about that.

I just want to sit down. And also I feel like there's a bit of pressure to perform. And I'm like, but I'm not a performer in this moment. And I also don't ever want to distract from the show itself. So it's like, I don't want to be the one that's trying to be funny. I'm not here to do that. I want you to do your thing.

Right. And people rarely book you because you're subtle. Exactly. No one's like booking the quiet, stoic performance of Hannah Sobel.

No, no, no, no, no. Everyone's like, ow, ow, ow, too loud. Turn it down.

Gertie.

Oklahoma is not really nobody. You've got an inimitable cackle in that show.

There is some review from some Broadway World writer across America that was like, Hannah Solo did a great job of– Making the audience want her to leave the stage.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. In the best way possible.

A hundred percent. We print it out. We put it on the wall. I said, this is why I do it.

Speaking of, like, audience participation, you've been in this show a lot.

Yes.

Is there anything that happens in the audience that you've witnessed where you're, like, bad behavior?

Yeah.

Lauren Boebert's in the front row, anything like that.

I wish. Just jacking someone off in the front row.

Speaking of disobedience. Speaking of disobedience.

Two lesbians spitting in each other's mouth. No, but I do wish, well, maybe, who knows? I feel like people have a few drinks in them on a Saturday night. And that's when we're not actually asking for audience participation. But you get it. We're getting it. And then it's sort of this weird, like, It's sort of sweet, but misguided, where people are like, come on, Mary, you go, girl!

They're in support.

Yes.

But it's like, thank you, keep that inside.

Well, I met you at the opening of Rocky Horror, which famously has a lot of... that sometimes they were really trying to not have happen in that show.

And they went through so many previews, like testing it out, trying to figure out what the balance was.

I mean, I just, I wonder about that though. Cause I remember when Michael went to go see it, I was just like, well, what about the audience part? Because that's what the Rocky Horror Picture Show, when you go to the movies, that's a part of the fun, right? So is it realistic to expect that Even though it's a Broadway show, that people who are nostalgic for the movie won't scream out to Janet or whatever. Do you know what I mean? But Michael said people were sort of civilized about it.

Except for Susan Sarandon. You saw her at that opening. Yes, of course.

She's sitting in front of me.

They had her on wires. They pulled, they pulled, they yanked, and she went out of her seat. She did the pink.

Yeah.

She did the pink. She did the pink.

And the Fergie. She said, get down.

You know that? You know what I'm talking about?

The one-handed.

Carl.

Speaking of vocal stims, you've got a lot of vocal stims in your repertoire.

Oh, my gosh.

This is our digital camera right here. This is where I hit them with the diva if you want to hit them with your boob.

Hit them with the diva. Well, yes, somehow I accidentally created a vocal stim.

For the massive.

Truly accidentally.

No, mine have all been accidental.

Yeah, that's the thing. If you plan it, it's not going to happen. Right. No, it needs to be, yeah.

It has to be random.

It needs to be organic.

Yeah, for sure.

Show Me Your Bad Dog, I was on the toilet when I filmed that. No one knows that. That video was, I was on the toilet. And I thought I saved it to drafts, but I accidentally posted it. And then it became the Show Me Your Bad Dog. I don't want to see any of these good boys. It was a draft that I accidentally posted.

You were on the toilet.

Yes.

Can you see the toilet?

No, it's just my face like this.

Well, because Michael... All his videos are like really close up to his face. My aunt asked why he does that.

Why are you doing that? She's like, you're a friend.

I love that.

Why? Why are you doing that? Why is he doing that? But yeah, so you can see Boop. Well, not anymore at Closed, right?

It's on tour. Look at me, advertising for Boop.

The rock show.

I'm their press person.

I'm dead. Anyway, those of you who don't know, you can check out Hannah's Boop vocal stem, where I don't know, do you want to describe it?

I was walking through Times Square and I heard a man say, oh, well, we could see boo, And then I took a video of myself in my dressing room for my friends, and somehow the internet took hold of it.

And then- Did what they did.

I'm on 8th Avenue, and people are screaming, we.

Can see boop!

And I'm like, what? How does that feel? Does it feel like surreal? Does it make you happy? Does it feel weird? Or like, what does that feel like?

It's kind of a combination of all of those things. I've been making videos for so long and no one cared at all. And I would make music videos that I would spend weeks on. And no one cares about that. And then I did this video and people are screaming at me on the street. But it's actually so fun and silly. And I always say that I'm like famous between like 43rd and 48th on 8th Avenue only. Just gay people on bikes being like, yes, diva!

Yes, honey!

Which I couldn't ask for anything more.

There's nothing more satisfying than being a geotagged celebrity just tied to a specific, but you're right. The second you leave Times Square, no one is going to know that you're the poop girl. No one.

They're like, poop?

What?

Are you okay?

Something's wrong. Are you a junior 5150 hole? Do we need a can cup to a gurney? Okay. So you've been understudying every single Mary.

Yeah.

What's that like? Yeah.

What is that like?

It's wild. It's so insane to be like, Maya Rudolph and Titus Burgess are in my phone. That's crazy.

Well, that's because you stole their number. They do not give that to you.

This is a reveal.

They do not give that willingly.

It's just so astounding to be able to watch these people and learn from them. And also, everyone has been so kind and I haven't felt less than, you know, these people are embracing me and asking me questions, which is like so bonkers that I can talk to Betty Gilpin and be like, oh, yeah, that one scene. Okay, yeah, I do it like this. How are you going to do it? Like, I never expected this in a million years.

Right.

But you, I mean, you've been on the show since the beginning. If not you, then who?

I am probably the person who has... heard the show the most.

Times so I mean it it seems so even if somebody who's coming in and stepping into one of the Mary's even if that person is like famous and they've done lots of things they know that you know the show right and you and again like if not you then who right because you you know the whole thing so I mean I think it's a testament to your work it's it's um You know, and they know that you've done this. It's like, oh, let's ask Hannah. You know who'll know? Hannah will know.

And it really is one of those things that until you've done it, you can only practice in a rehearsal room so much without an audience. And then you get on stage and you're like, oh, wait, I have the dress and the audience is doing this and what's happening? It's like truly a train ride. You just have to get on the train.

Is there a moment in the show you said you've heard it the most because you're listening every year? You're there at the theater every night hearing it, right? Is there a moment in the show where you're like surprised something gets a laugh or the audiences are just so varied now that it's on Broadway compared to when it was at the Lortel?

The audiences are really different now because our first night at the Lortel, Sam Pinkleton, the director, was like, there are too many gay people here. It was just like every gay person in the world was coming to see O'Berry.

Yeah, literally.

And now I go to the stage door and people are like– I'm here for my grandma's 80th birthday. This is our anniversary present. I'm like looking at a nine year old who's like, I loved the show. And I'm like, did.

You literally say the F slur?

And I look at the parents and I'm like, They saw it and they're like, yeah. But my parents did that too. I saw Rent when I was like 11 or something. Love that.

Love that for you. Of course. Clearly a formative experience.

100%. I bought the libretto and was doing a one-woman production. Rent at my house every night for my family.

Sure, sure, sure. Yeah. Yeah, I saw a thing. My friend, they did Rent at her high school, but they took insulin instead of AZT.

I always thought that was a myth.

No, it was real. That's real? Instead of their HIV medication, they were taking insulin. I'd like the local middle school.

The audience is gasping.

It's rough when we gag the camera crew.

Everyone's like silent. Someone did once on this island, but it was the island of Manhattan.

No. Oh, no.

How does it even work?

And that is kind of my question as well. It doesn't. That's the answer. It simply doesn't work.

We saw that show. That doesn't work.

I just did Hairspray over the summer at the Muni in St. Louis, and I was doing some research online. And in the, what do you call it?

I don't know.

You're a lawyer. The rights or whatever. It's like, no, this is a play about race. You cannot do this with all white people. You cannot get the rights to this. We're not asking for your interpretation here. This is what it is. And I feel like we need that for Once on this Island, too. Actually, we need that for a lot of stuff.

Yes. Yeah. Do you adapt your O'Mary performance to the Mary on stage? When you're understudying Betty Gilpin versus Maya versus Titus, do you change your performance to their interpretation of the role?

I don't change my performance.

Because you're that girl. Because you're her.

And everyone has been so kind. Cole and Sam have been like, no, you do you. You have your thing. And now I've done it enough times. I've done it like over 50 times now. So I've kind of solidified my performance. But I do steal stuff from other Marys. I'm like, that's funny. I want to try doing that. Like, oh, that's like this little Maya thing or Jinx thing. Like, let me try it. And it doesn't always work when I do it because it's like it's their thing. But it's fun to kind of like play around and get ideas from other people. in seeing the show a billion, million times, it still feels fresh. It still feels new.

And I can watch it and go, oh my gosh, wait. Oh, that line. Oh, I never thought of it that way. Let me try it like that too.

So I'm just curious about when somebody is an understudy, and you said you've done it about 50 times?

I think I've done Mary probably... At this point, maybe more, but I had a two-week run a little while ago where I did the bulk of my performances. And then from there did like, you know, for various Marys when they had scheduled events or sickness or whatever.

Right. So I was going to ask you, what are the reasons why people don't come?

I mean, sometimes it's planned ahead. And so I know in advance that I'm going on. And then sometimes it's like 30 minutes before the show starts and someone's like, I don't feel well. I have to leave the building right now. So it really is varied, but as understudies.

It was me. I was the audience member. Sorry. I just had to go. I had to leave.

They were like, Hannah, you're on.

You're on. Go take a seat.

You just don't know. We have to be there every night.

Yeah.

Understudies are there every night. We're not in full costume or makeup or anything, but we are waiting upstairs. For the call. For the call, just in case. There's only been one time where someone had to go on mid-show because someone got sick. And I mean- It's like a well-oiled machine. It's boom, boom, boom. Put the costume on.

We make an announcement. You're out there. Like it's seamless. Our crew is like the best in the world. They're amazing.

Name your favorite union role. You love your crew? Name your favorite union role.

Yeah, Hannah.

Feather bedding.

I knew that there would be a quiz and I would be panicked.

A pop quiz about union contracts. Okay, okay. This is good.

This is good. Wait, let me think. Proud member of Actors' Equity.

She wants that health insurance. She's like, please. We'll be right back after this break.

I'm panicked. I'm panicked. I don't know anything about my contract. Isn't that scary?

Well, you're wearing your heated rivalry shirt today. Show the dolls, show the girls.

Diva.

You can see boop, you can see heated rivalry.

Speaking of spitting in each other's mouths.

Season two is filming right now.

Absolutely.

So we can manifest.

Is it about them again?

I don't know.

Or is it about the next, because it's a series of books, right?

Yes, I've read all the books.

Did you read the books?

No, so I listen to audio books a lot and I got it. The thing about audio books is if the actor who's doing the book bothers you in any way, then it ruins the book. And I did not like the way that the reader was reading it.

Famously, you are very right in that a lot of people hate the person who read the books. And I think they're trying to redo them because it's so bad and no one wants to listen to it.

Oh, I didn't. I thought it was just me being- No. Oh, really? I did not know that.

Who was the reader?

Sorry to him. We love you, whoever you are.

It was Stanley Tucci. It's tough.

He's kind of like, he like does a weird New York accent. Yes, yes, yes.

That's what, it was like the first, I mean, and I listened to it for like five minutes. And I was like, I cannot, every now and then there'll be something that I pick up. You know what? An R.I.P. Andre Leon Talley. I picked up his book and I wanted to listen to it. Andre Leontali was good at a lot of things.

But not narrating them.

But not narrating his own story. Oh, that's tough. Yeah. It was actually really, really bad. And I felt terrible because he's an icon, right? And I wanted to– and his life story is very interesting. But it was better for me to read it.

Which side of the America's Next Top Model drama do you think Andre Leontali would fall on now? There's like the comeuppance for Tyra.

Uh-huh.

And they're asking all the past judges to kind of weigh in on whether or not what Ken Mock and Tyra were doing was ethical. Was he a judge? Yeah, he was a judge. Okay.

I tapped out of that show real early.

That's how I knew who he was.

Oh, really?

From back in like the early 2000s. Oh, my God.

Andre Leontali is iconic. I don't like reality TV.

Sorry.

Okay.

Did you watch Heat of Rivalry in any particular place that you wanted to tell the listeners at home?

This feels like a trap.

Didn't you watch it on a plane?

I was like... How did you know? Did you really watch it on the plane? Okay, first I watched part of it backstage and we were watching it in the dark, me and Julian Mandryko.

My fellow understudy. That's your favorite union role.

And Jinx came in and was like, what's going on in here and why are you both so red and sweaty? Oh, wait, what the fuck? And we were like.

Why were you red and sweaty?

We were screaming, we were excited. And then I did watch it on the plane.

Love.

And you know what I said? Well, actually I was high and I was like a little bit paranoid about it. Like being like, is someone going to come stop me? And then they're going to have to ground the plane and I'm going.

To be arrested for homosexuality.

They're like, she's did it.

You're watching it on your laptop or take it.

I was watching it on my laptop and you know what I did? When there was full ass, can I say ass?

Sure.

When there was full ass, I would sort of minimize the screen so it became small window and then I'd be like, okay, I think the ass is gone and bring it back.

This was me on like my home computer when I was 14. I think that's why people.

Lightweighted my memory.

The Dell.

No, I'm doing my homework. I swear.

I'm sick. I was not doing one. I never did one. Oh, my God. I'm crying.

Heated rivalry, it brings it out of you. Like, my stage manager has been making me read heated rivalry fan fiction, making me a kid. I'm staying up until 4 a.m.

There's no stage manager. It's just you.

Making me the voice in my head, yeah. But it really is, like, it is that teenage, like, 14-year-old, like, me on the train being like, holy shit.

Bro.

But I'm also scared on the train that someone's going to look over my shoulder and take a photo of me. Reading about them. The boop girl. The boop girl is reading porn on the subway.

Eating ass on the Q train. I do like to read people over people's shoulders.

Me too. I do all the time.

All the time.

I do all the time. My favorite moment ever, I was living in Brooklyn and I was on my way home and I lived in Flatbush. And Flatbush was super duper Haitian, right? So I was standing there. by the door and I was looking over the shoulder of a Haitian woman who was having an argument with her boyfriend.

And let me tell you something. Not only was I reading what she said.

Because it was, yeah.

But when I was reading, I was reading it, but I also took pictures.

No.

And I sent it to my cousin group chat. And I have a lot of cousins. And they were like, what happened next? And I was like, and it was like, he was saying things to her like- I said that I was sorry. How could I make it up to you? Like it was, and it was like a very like deep conversation. It was great. Anyway, I'm a nosy body.

I love that because I was like, no one would take a photo of me reading smut. They would. They would in a smut website. If you have a photo of me, please send it.

I actually, you know, I'm admitting this about myself. I actually do it all the time. Another time I was, there was somebody, it was a nun. She was reading a book.

Melissa.

Wait, listen.

She was reading a book.

About Judaism.

No, no, no, no. It was a book.

But her bookmark was.

Was like this giant picture of a very big, beaten and battered Jesus. It was so bad that I was like, no one's going to believe me. So I just took a picture of it.

It was like the passion of Christ, like imagery. Worse.

It was so bad.

Worse than a Mel Gibson movie.

Yes. Wow. Yes, yes, yes.

I'm going to look for it.

I know CJ won't let us put it up, but it was bad.

I'm eating you up today. I'm eating him. I'm eating his ass up. He loves it.

I was on the train and there was a woman... Who came on sort of talking to herself. And then she was yelling at something on her phone. And I was like, I have to know. Having a full like upset argument. I look. She's literally on Facebook yelling at a black and white photo of Michael Jackson.

Oh, yeah.

Having a full conversation.

Okay. Been there. Been there. No.

It was you.

Yeah.

No. We've talked about the Michael Jackson reenactment. TV show on TLC. No.

Okay. All kinds of wrong.

All kinds of wrong.

You need to pay attention. So back in the day when Michael Jackson was on trial for, I think, allegations of sexual abuse for, right? I think that's what it was. Yes, that's what it was. But they weren't allowed to have cameras in the courtroom. So E, entertainment, news, television, decided that they were going to do a daily reenactment of what happened in the trial. And they... And they had this actor who was all made up. But one of the things I didn't realize that Michael Jackson was doing during the trial was like, anytime somebody would say something that he didn't agree with, he would like roll his eyes.

But like, and I didn't know whether or not the guy- Was that a choice? Was like, was he being extra campy with it? Or did Michael Jackson actually do it? Either way.

Because Michael Jackson was funny as hell. Like that clip of him being like, I hate touring. My arm. I can't raise my arm higher than this. I can't use my shoulder.

Imagine booking that though. You're like, I didn't. I got Michael Jackson reenactment trial job. No lines.

But we've looked for him and the guy is like, he had CJ looked for him for us. Cause I was talking about it. CJ found him and said that, He hasn't posted anything since like 2003, like whatever it was, but like a really long time. And he has vanished. So maybe he's now he's selling insurance.

I hope so. I hope that that didn't ruin his life. The Michael Jackson reenactment.

I mean, I think it did.

He's doing the medical records that you had to stop doing. You had to stop doing them.

I was probably talking to him on Slack.

Okay. Would you like to answer some questions from our audience with us? Absolutely. Welcome back to Brief Recess. We're going to talk about... No, you're doing Tales from the DM. I'm going to pick that up.

Yeah, you're doing Tales from the.

DM, right?

This is the second time you've done an intro, so.

I know.

It's tough.

Hey, friends.

We're going to do Tales from the DM now. And what do I always say? While Michael is a lawyer, he's not your lawyer, so get your own.

Welcome back. Okay. Let's see what y'all wrote in this week. What sick and twisted... Wicked and wild questions. Absolutely death traps these listeners are setting for us. They're trying to get us canceled with these questions. Oh, no. So get ready. CJ, anyone we need to make sure we get to.

The mean comment.

Oh, there's a mean comment.

There's a mean comment.

About you two?

Let's have Hannah do a dramatic reading. Okay. Show everyone your prowess. Show everyone.

This is a cold read?

This is a cold read.

I did not see this before.

And I have not. I haven't either. So I'm actually ready.

I actually love it.

You love it?

I love it. Are we ready?

Yeah.

This is from Content Consumer 01123.

Clearly a verified account.

Yep.

Blue checkmark. I'm already mad.

At least Homie admits he's in an echo chamber. Holy presumption, cowboy. Look at them tiptoeing and trying to be so politely biased. I would pass out with the amount of effort they mustered to be so disingenuous.

Whoa.

I would pass out? What was disingenuous?

It was when we were talking to Congressman Garcia.

About what?

We were talking.

About the Epstein files.

Yeah.

So this is a pro Epstein person. He was my personal financier. I loved all the business I did with him. Jeff, my guy, Jeff, you seem like a great guy. You got me good returns. Jeff, he was always going to his island. He loved the Caribbean. What a guy. Who the fuck is this coming for me in my gig?

Content consumer 011.

Yeah, he's got to use that. And that's the name he can operate under as an Epstein supporter. God, I swear to God, people spend so much time, money, energy.

They really do. But yeah, people really do. It's really fascinating. People say a lot of things to us that aren't very nice. It's fine. Here's the thing. So a couple of weeks ago, there was somebody who said that Mike and I were stupid because we didn't know the difference between reform. reflection pool versus reflecting pool, come to find out that it's the same thing.

So, right.

So, even though that guy was wrong, he made a point. He was trying to make a point of some kind. I don't know what this guy is talking about.

I have no clue. At that point, it was just words and tone.

Yes. It's just, what does that mean? Tiptoeing and trying to be so politely biased.

What are you?

There's no context.

Anyway.

So Liliana, what CJ? Liliana is a good one too.

I also like lulu's crepes and croissants.

This is.

Cj's usually right here just like yelling at me to do my job it's.

So funny um.

CJ, this is a fucking croissant.

Lulu's Crepes and Croissants.

I can just read it if you want.

It's... Liliana Langston? No.

Lulu's Crepes and Croissants. Lulu's Crepes and Croissants wants to know if they can give the middle finger to their lawyer on the stand.

Thank you for writing in. I just wanted to hear CJ say... Lulu's Crepes and Croissants one more time because that was actually.

You can't hear that enough.

That really made my day. Lulu's Crepes and Croissants. Sorry, who's it from? Can you give the middle finger to a lawyer from On the Witness stand?

Is it your lawyer or the other lawyer?

So someone's writing in asking if they can do that.

But is it to their lawyer? Or what do you call the other person? Yikes, I don't know.

Opposing counsel.

Ooh, I love that.

Ooh.

Can I give the middle finger to the opposing counsel?

Hannah grew up, she always, as a little girl, she always wanted to be opposing counsel. Oh my God!

Oh my God, Melissa! It's worse than I could ever imagine.

The Jesus is really bad. I told you. Show CJ, I'm sorry, actual question, did they do all that to Jesus? Yes.

They did.

He was flayed.

Yeah.

Oh my God.

I'm sorry. I'm not allowed to watch heated rivalry on the plane, but you can put that on the subway.

Delta, please.

To be fair, to be fair, this person was reading their book. It's their bookmark. And I happened to see it.

This person's a nun.

A bookmark?

Where are you buying that bookmark?

I know.

I'm sorry.

It's bad, isn't it?

The women in disobedience would never. Never.

They would never.

They would never. They were also Hasidic Jews. Those were Jewish. They also literally would never. They're like, it's a false prophet.

That was actually shocking. I felt shocked. I know.

That's why I was like, no.

I don't know if we're going to be able to show that on YouTube.

No, we can't show that.

Yeah. So we'll just describe it for you. It looks like a very bloody.

Somebody who's been flayed.

There was a lot more blood than I anticipated.

Sure. Yeah.

And that's why I took a picture of it because there is no way to describe that to somebody so that they would believe me.

Actually, the gasps that we gossiped were evidence enough that no one would have believed you.

You described it to us and we couldn't have imagined that.

You could not have.

I told you. Wow.

Photojournalism. Really? No. I mean, you could really.

Anyway, are you going to answer crepes and croissants?

Middle finger. So this is where I have to toe a delicate line because I can't tell you to do anything in court that is like breaking the rules or the law because then I'll get in trouble. I will say, though, witnesses are called or subpoenaed or they really don't want to be there sometimes. And I've seen them do a lot of things that the lawyers and the judges would prefer you don't do. such as give the finger to the other attorney. You can be held in contempt, but it's usually for like repeatedly not answering a question or repeatedly like not doing something. But we have hostile witnesses all the time. I mean, are you following the Lindsay Clancy trial at all? There are some witnesses on that

trial right now that are, they really don't want to be there. Lindsay Clancy's doctors, they're like, they don't want to be asked about the ways in which they failed that woman with her medication. So that's really upsetting.

But you don't have to do a double. You could do a subtle this. You could do I'm wiping my eye. That's kind of my advice.

You could. And a lot of people do that in O'Mary.

Yes, that's kind of acting 101 is middle finger placement.

But Michael, let me ask you, though. Tossing up the middle finger in the middle of court is rude.

Totally.

Right? But is it against the law? And what you said about finding somebody in contempt, right?

Okay, this is actually interesting because there are a lot of First Amendment cases around lewd gestures and swear words. Okay. So during the Vietnam War, there was a lot of fuck the war imagery of shirts and jackets and stuff. And there is Supreme Court cases around people being allowed to wear fuck the war. Fuck war, I think, was the– I don't know. I'm too young. But I don't know what the actual term was. But it was everywhere kind of like fuck ice now. People were wearing them to court, to jury duty. And a case made it all the way up to Miss Supreme Courtess, where they decided that it was actually– it was not considered hate speech or speech that would invoke violence or to lewd to wear that on public government property. Mm-hmm. Because it was like

an act of protest. So if we could find a way to frame– Yes. What's the lawyer doing or giving the middle finger to? Because if it is this sort of like protest versus amendment thing– Mm-hmm. then you might have some coverage under the Supreme Court precedent.

So I wonder if somebody is doing that because they've been subpoenaed and they are resentful of being here. And they're going to answer your questions, but they want you to know that they're pissed off about it. So yes, I'm going to answer your question, but you know what I think about this process?

Lulu's Crepes and Croissants.

Well, she has a business she has to get back to.

What did they say about those croissants, Lulu? Did someone say, and now you're on trial? Was it not flaky enough and they said that and now you're getting sued? What happened at the bakery?

We need to know.

What's going on in the bakery?

This is a hallmark mystery waiting to happen.

Friends to enemies to lovers. Lulu's crepes and croissants.

The lawyer and Lulu actually threw the middle finger.

It's like you've got mail.

Exactly.

Meg Ryan.

I love that movie.

Such a good movie.

I mean, it's ridiculous, but I love it. All those Nora Ephron movies are so, right? Everything's so pretty.

I just watched It's Complicated, the one with Alec Baldwin and Meryl Streep.

Oh, yes. Oh, yeah.

It's gorgeous. Her house is stunning.

Same thing. Something's got to give. The house is the house. It's always the house. Come on.

Anyway, Liliana Langston. Let's read this one.

What did they say?

Mr. Foot, this is my submission to Tales for the DMs. I started school to become paralegal. Do you or Melissa have any advice or words of wisdom? Melissa used to be a paralegal and then worked on the Enrod case and then her hair fell out. Yeah. But it's back. It's back.

It looks gorgeous.

Thank you.

And she doesn't work there anymore. Yeah. What's working in law actually like? Ooh, spare me the horror stories because I already know.

Oh, okay.

I need encouragement. One of my professors takes her job too seriously. I already know it's going to be a bitch-ass class. Anyways, your profile pic is serving. Thank you. But TBH is kind of giving Third Reich, okay, yikes.

Serving, but Third Reich, not a compliment, I'd say.

And then they go on to say, but don't change it. Keep them guessing. Love you.

Oh, keep them guessing. I don't think that's something we want to guess about.

Liliana, I will tell you what it was like to be a paralegal. And no horror stories. I know you've heard all of them before. It's very, I will say my experience was that it was very mundane and very tedious. Now, if you are somebody who likes research and the law firm or the lawyer that you're working with is using you in that way, then it could be interesting. But in my experience, what I found was that the partners or the senior associates would usually use the junior associates to do the research to help them and give them practice.

And that I, as the paralegal, usually ended up maybe looking over briefs and making corrections and things like that. I did not find that work to be interesting or exciting at all, but I also think it depends on what your interest is, right? So maybe if I had been entertainment law or sports law, that may have been more interesting, but I was a litigation paralegal and an immigration paralegal, and that was not fun or interesting at all.

The other thing I'll say though, is that when I was a paralegal for a nonprofit organization, that was very interesting because it was a lot of different kinds of cases that I ended up with. And because it was a nonprofit, we didn't have a huge budget. So I was being given some interesting work to do. So I think I think it depends. So that's my sort of honest take on it.

I was going to say the nonprofit work and then also detained immigration law cases, you end up doing a lot of social work things. So you're coordinating getting someone released, and then when they're released, you're there and helping bring them to a homeless shelter. There are different areas that paralegals, depending on the area of practice, are going to end up doing all sorts of different things. So figure out what excites you about what would be exciting to you in any job, not just a paralegal job. What's exciting to you about a day-to-day work life? And then back into that is how I would frame it.

The other thing I'll say is that I feel like the bigger the firm.

The less- The less hands-on.

The less interesting the work will be because they have so many bodies. To do the good stuff, right? Now, the flip side of that is that if you work for a small firm or a nonprofit, you won't make as much money. So what is important to you? I don't know if we've helped at all, but.

That's... Yeah, yeah. Sorry. Okay.

It sounded really good.

We really got to get into this with Hannah, actually. Which one? The woman who sent lemons to her ex. A woman sent a lemon.

It's really good, actually.

She sent one lemon to her ex every day for a really long time.

I want to say a year.

I want to say at least a lemon a day.

One lemon a day. And apparently, this is the part that I still don't understand how she managed to do this. The lemon delivery seemed to follow him.

Wherever.

Right? So that if he was on a softball league- There was a lemon delivered to him there.

CJ's got to fact check us because I know there was the clown sent to a softball game, right?

Oh, maybe.

She sent 1,847 single lemons.

Yeah. CJ kills us.

Thank you, CJ.

Didn't she also send it to him?

There was one that ended up at his job interview. Like that, that for me, I was like, I don't understand. Like, how did she know? Oh, another one was sent to his dad in the hospital. Like it was weird.

Okay.

But anyway, she got arrested for that.

Well, sure. Okay. But I want to know what did he do?

Well, well, he had to have done something to get the lemons.

There's two sides to every story, right?

But I, I am still stuck on what is illegal and, about getting sent one lemon. It's not like you got sent the dog turd every day.

It's so misogynistic. What? I think it's so misogynistic.

Well, that's what this person says.

Yeah, they're saying that these women are getting arrested. Meanwhile, women are out here getting relentlessly stalked and genuinely fearing for their lives.

Right, and he's not fearing for his life. Is that what he claimed?

No, he was annoyed. He was annoyed, and now he's afraid of lemons.

Oh.

No, no, no, no. CJ, didn't he have a fear?

I think so.

Yeah. I thought it was the weirdest. There were so many things about that that I almost didn't believe. And I was hoping that there was something else because that can't be all there is.

Do you know what I mean? That can't be all there is.

If that is technically harassment and I'm like, sure, technically, sure. On paper, that's harassment. Is it? But everything else that is also harassment has to be investigated and prosecuted. If we're prosecuting Lemon Lady.

Lemon Lady.

What about the guy following people around? Right. What about people stalking each other? And that's not getting enforced. But then what? The Lemon Lady? A Thousand Lemons?

And what is the harm? Other than you being irritated, right?

Right.

You're annoyed. You're annoyed. You're annoyed.

It's annoying. I'd be annoyed if somebody sent me a lemon every day, but is that illegal?

Well, you just need to spin it. Hello? Make the lemonade, as they say.

Right.

Unless they're like RFK lemons and they have salmonella. Fair. In which case, that's a death threat.

I guess that's true.

Oh, wow. Okay.

You just won the case.

Thank you. Don't give this lawyer the middle finger on the stand.

That's actually one of the crazier things I've ever heard.

Have you ever done anything crazy to an ex? spit on them or.

Spit on them.

No. I did have an ex once where I thought my greatest revenge was going to be writing sad gay music and becoming the next Phoebe Bridgers. But then sort of like woke up from the fog months later, read the music that I had written and was like, this is horrible.

She's unwell. Yeah, truly.

This is someone who's going through psychosis.

Cry for help. Cry for help.

Oh, no.

Okay. Well, we hope you get the help you need.

Thank you so much.

Thank you.

At least it wasn't lemons, I guess. Although now I'm kind of like, should I do that to someone? It's such a funny prank, I guess, but it's harassment is what I learned today.

I mean, I still don't, and I'm not a lawyer, I still don't understand why it's harassment. There was another one, the one who was sending a sarcastic clown.

To clap at his baseball games. That's actually, would you take that gig?

To clap sarcastically.

If someone hired you, would you?

Yeah.

She ate with that. You know what?

That's my audition tape.

Straight to camera. Give us, yeah. Okay.

Good job on your baseball.

Maybe you could sing sarcastically.

Yeah.

Like, what's a good sarcastic?

Take me out to the ball game.

Where can everyone find you? What do you want them to come see you do next? Where should they catch you? Should they yell boop at you in the street?

Please yell boop. You can catch me at the Lyceum Theater. I'll be on as Mary September 13th, October 3rd and 4th. You can find me on the internet at Baby Magoo. And I'm kind of just around town.

Yeah. She's been here.

I've been here.

She's done been here. Catch her on the subway watching you.

Oh my gosh.

Yeah.

I'm going to get one of those phone protectors now.

Thank you for watching Brief Recess. I'll see you in court.

Not me.

Wait, really? This has been an Exactly Right production recorded at iHeart Studios, hosted by me, Michael Foote.

And me, Melissa Malbranch. Our producer is CJ Ferroni.

This episode is edited by Mark Schroeder.

Our associate producer is Christina Chamberlain, and our guest booker is Patrick Hottner.

Our theme song was composed by Tom Breifogel with artwork from Charlotte Delarue and Vanessa Lilac, with photography by Brad Obono.

Brief Recess is executive produced by Karen Kilgariff, Georgia Hardstark, and Danielle Kramer.

You can find me on Instagram at Department of Redundancy Department or on TikTok at Michael Foote.

And I'm on both Instagram and TikTok as Melissa Malbranch.

Got legal questions? Reach out at briefrecess at exactlyrightmedia.com. Listen to Brief Recess on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And of course, we're a podcast with video. Search for Brief Recess on YouTube.

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