Episode 438.1 - Bisexuals

0:17 So tonight, we're going to be viewing, reviewing, and lovingly ridiculing Law & Order SVU Season 20, Episode 5, entitled A Credo. Mm-hmm.

0:26 It sure is.

0:28 But before we do that, brief trip to the mailbag.

0:31 And by brief, you mean a longer trip to the mailbag.

0:34 Longer trip to the mailbag.

0:35 So we haven't recorded it in longer than we normally do, so we have. More than usual, in terms of the emails.

0:43 First up is from listener Peggy Ann.

0:45 Yes, entitled The Dun Dun Diner.

0:48 We have more Dun Dun Diner content coming, don't you worry.

0:51 Oh, okay, good to know. Peggy Ann writes, Hi Matt and Aviv, it looks like The Dun Dun Diner is returning. Naturally, I didn't find out until it was sold out. Haha, with a link to the fact that The Dun Dun Diner is coming back. All the best, Peggy Ann.

1:05 Thank you, Peggy Ann. Yes, the Dun Dun Diner has returned. The Dun Dun Diner for the uninitiated is like the Law & Order-themed diner in New York that sells tickets. You sell tickets to a diner? What the fuck? Anyway, next up is from... I have to assume digger superfan Lily Oxf writes in.

1:29 No, don't put me and Lily on the same page. Lily, if that's the case, you and I might be for once on the same side of.

1:36 She's going to hate that movie. Oh.

1:39 I wonder if she's going to even bother seeing it. Lily, are you going to go see this movie?

1:43 It's a bit... It's a lot. It's a lot of movie. Lily writes in an email entitled, My Apologies. I was listening to the takedown of a Simple Favor ep and forgot of you's mention of the flash mob scene. If he didn't get the Blu-ray spelled wrong. Well, I found it and I'm never able to unsee it. And she includes a link to the deleted flash mob scene from A Simple Favor.

2:12 I honestly, that movie after we reviewed, it just completely left my brain.

2:17 So yeah, it seems like Henry Golding, having thought about him in a long time, he's like an elementary school teacher. He does a flash mob to... ask her to marry him i don't understand and there's like there's like dead outlines of dead bodies on the ground so thank you lily yes.

2:38 Thank you lily.

2:40 Next up is from listener ezra.

2:44 And ezra asks i don't know what made me ask this question but what are your thoughts on christopher walken i like him i in most things that i see him in uh i think the fact that His schtick has outgrown him, and I don't think that's his fault. I think he also leaps into it, but I think the market has been a little bit diluted on the Christopher Walken.

3:06 Yeah, I mean, Cowbell, we all get it. It was very funny.

3:11 It's been done, though.

3:14 Rachel McAdams tells a fun story about dancing with him on the set of Wedding Crashers, where he just kept saying, Farts, farts, farts to make her laugh. So, you know, that's sweet. Yeah, sure.

3:34 So there you go. Christopher Walken.

3:37 Next up is from listener Luke. Luke, who had previously sent an email about wanting to abandon SVU with either Oz or Sopranos. We both said that we haven't seen the Sopranos. And he just writes an email on the same thread that says, Deadwood? I've also never seen Deadwood.

3:57 You know, I started it over a long weekend. It was a time where Cassie was back in Arizona visiting her family or something. I was staying home with a dog. And I was like, you know what? I'm going to get into Deadwood. I think I ripped off half of season one.

4:12 I've heard it's quite Shakespearean.

4:14 I liked it a good deal. It was one of those things where... I just, I binged it and then got busy and just.

4:23 Never got back into it. And then forgot about it.

4:24 Yeah, so it was really good. I didn't stop watching it because I was like, ew, this sucks. It was quite the opposite. But you should actually watch it. You would probably like it.

4:33 I probably would. You're right.

4:35 You should put that on your list.

4:38 Great British bacon show isn't going to watch itself.

4:40 Well, that's also true. Next email we have is from Peggy Ann again, entitled, Jimmy Stewart's daughter commends... KJ Apa in Jimmy biopic. I didn't know they were doing this.

4:52 Yeah, Jimmy biopic. Oh, no. Oh, boy.

4:56 Oh, no. Why am I going to biopic? Oh, my God.

4:59 I'm going to.

5:01 Accept this Oscar up here and do it by Jimmy Stewart.

5:04 Why?

5:04 Why is it? Go ahead and make a biopic of it.

5:09 What is there? Somebody fighting Fred Astaire over the same weekend? We have Tom Holland dancing around like a fucking minstrel, and I'm over here being all Jimmy Stewart about it.

5:21 Yeah, I wonder if... Get fucked, Fred Astaire! Tom Holland is going to do blackface in the Fred Astaire biopic. I don't know if Fred Astaire ever did blackface. I'm not that familiar with it.

5:32 Well, but here's the thing, because specifically... the estate of Fred Astaire, it was in his will to never do a biopic about him.

5:41 Oh really?

5:41 Yeah. And the family's like, don't fucking do this. And they're doing it anyway.

5:47 What was that? Yeah. So, I mean, listen, Tom Holland, you could do worse. He's a, he's like a dancer. He was Billy Elliot or something. Oh, I get that. Yeah. Yeah. So KJ Apa is like some random fucking guy. I don't really like, I've never seen him in anything. Um, he seems he was in, he was on Riverdale. So he's like one of those guys. Um, but yeah, I guess, I guess he does a good Jimmy Stewart and, uh, and that's going to be a biopic that I, I don't know if I'm going to see. I don't know if I, um, I don't know if, uh, there's just, I don't know if there's a story that needs to be told, but I'm.

6:23 Just saying I was available. Did you hear that Jimmy Stewart impression? Fucking nailed it.

6:27 Matt's actually going to dub the entire movie for KJ Apa. KJ Apa is only the face and body.

6:33 Exactly. So it's a real really vanilla situation.

6:39 Next up is from a listener, Judge Yasrose, a.k.a. Miss Rosemary NYC, a.k.a. a.k.a. a segment we like to call Judge's Chambers. Rose writes, in an email entitled, You're Chad, my Stacey, crisscross. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. That's a judgment for me. Good job. Oh, Matt. Oh, you sweet summer child. Hearing a happily married, non-terminally online person learn about this shit in real time was really a trip. We're referring to the manosphere and incels.

7:11 With Spongebob and the Chads and Giga Chad.

7:15 Chad Thundercock. Excellent explanation, Aviv.

7:19 Thanks.

7:20 Positive judgment. The only thing I'd add is that between this episode and now, a bunch of balding rapists like Andrew Tate saw a huge gullible market and commodified all this shit in the form of podcasts and subscription dating coaching and get-rich-quick financial advice, a.k.a. scams. So it seems many incels of today now totally reject the term incel and instead identify as alpha males and kings who record TikToks in their cars about how they're celibate because they're actually holding out for women with, quote, high sexual market value who aren't hyper monogamous, hyper, hyper Gammas or using their quote female privilege or blah, blah, blah, buzzwords. It's all the same shit. They're just now actively paying for

8:07 asshole lessons. Yes. I sort of fizzled out when I, I re listened to what I had said when I was editing the episode and I like couldn't, I thought of Joe Rogan and couldn't think of any of the, these other guys who, That do it, but yes, you're absolutely right. Andrew Tate is like the guy. Rapist Andrew Tate.

8:26 Right, okay, but so perhaps this is a hot take, but it's like, okay, in a way, it's like, congratulations, you've accepted yourselves rather than... Being like, oh, I want this so bad. You've somehow convinced yourself. It's like, no, this is what I want and I am better than you for it. So it's like, you know what?

8:44 Good for you. I mean, kind of. They're shooting women less, but they're degrading them in other ways. Correct.

8:51 I'm just saying. But they've voluntarily seemingly kept themselves off the market from every fucking one else. You don't have some asshole at the bar hating on you where it's like, you know what?

8:59 It's not that I can't get laid. It's that I'm holding out for Ms. Right. Exactly.

9:04 It's like I'm holding out for management.

9:05 Good for you. It's bad out there. God, I'm so glad I don't date men anymore. Heart. Me too. The Louis Theroux inside the Manosphere doc is also a pretty good summary of this trend. I also remember this doc happening and these Manosphere guys absolutely showing their assholes to Louis Theroux. And no, SpongeBob and Ariana were not married.

9:30 They just dated and broke up, and now she's back to another former boyfriend, and they already have matching tattoos because this girl is a disaster and badly needs real female friends' necessary judgment.

9:45 I mean, no arguments.

9:50 Right on. Bye. What do incels call women they don't think are hot? Mildreds? Sure. I'll be a Mildred.

9:57 There you go. Right on. Yeah.

9:59 Uh. Do they? Do they call them Mildreds?

10:01 You're the one that explained this to me. Why would I know?

10:04 I don't know. I don't know. I'm going to... Next up is from listener Ezra.

10:10 Yes. Entitled Cabaret. And Ezra writes... Cabaret. In the movie version, there is a scene that I think about a lot in which Brian, Cliff with a different name, says, screw Maximilian. Then Sally says.

10:25 I do. He isn't even Cliff in the movie.

10:29 Yeah, and Brian responds, so do I. Very well done. Not sarcastic, though it may seem. I appreciate a movie from 1972 making bisexuality so clear and direct instead of trying to hide it. Even now, it's rare to see bisexuality portrayed well, but you're more likely to see bi women than bi men, and I still don't understand why.

10:51 It's because... Oh, it's because it's hot.

10:53 I was going to say, it's because the schmucks of the Midwest that would be objecting to this, the men will still be like, yeah, but it's two ladies. Yeah, it's two ladies. So they're fine with that.

11:01 Cookies and ice cream, baby.

11:02 Yeah, exactly. It's what you call hypocritical. I think that doing things like that in media only makes it seem like it's not possible for men. I can count the number of bisexual male characters in current-day television that I'm aware of on one hand and still have fingers left over.

11:22 Right-sided history podcast, every role that Stanley Tucci has ever played?

11:25 I could probably turn my key on that. There will probably be more to this email, but this is what I could think of in the moment. And then there was not a follow-up on that email. But you know what, Ezra? You know what? I agree. I think that is fantastic. But then again, we were just talking about how the 70s was like. Here's child sex abuse material.

11:48 Well... Art! You know, there was a wide variety of things happening.

11:54 It was a spectrum, I understand that. So it's like, wow, I guess if that's the poll, everything is mild compared to that.

12:01 It's either bisexual or kids shitting in each other's mouths.

12:04 You know, you decide. And that's all the Kamale that's fit to Kamale. Over to you, Avi, for the blue ski and the IG. I assume we have some, because it's been a minute since we've been here.

12:15 We do, yes. Keeping the Ezra train going. Oh, in a segment we like to call, I just blew myself.

12:22 I'm afraid I just blew myself.

12:24 There's got to be a better way to say that. Keeping the Ezra train going, Ezra writes in saying, Alan Alda is on CBS Sunday Morning today and I thought of you. We remember Alan Alda today as every day because he is still alive.

12:41 Yep. Still with us.

12:42 In a couple episodes ago, Stone told the story about going to see the turtles and saving the turtles by hucking them into the ocean or whatever.

12:54 Doing the thing that you absolutely should not do at a nature preserve.

12:58 Yeah, so Miss Rosemary NYC writes in saying, extremely funny that Stone just borrowed a profoundly overused chicken soup for the soul-ass parable called The Star Thrower. And it's an essay by... Lauren Isley published in the unexpected universe originally, which is in 1969. And it's the same, basically the same exact story, but with starfish. Yeah.

13:27 But that's not like a specific mating ritual thing.

13:30 I know. Which makes more sense with starfish. I don't know why he didn't just say starfish.

13:35 Well, because who gives a shit about starfish? The turtles, you've got more, there's more to it because they flop around and they look all cute. So, like, you care about them.

13:45 Next up is from listener Ezra saying, I need to tell you how much you'll hate season 28. There's only been one episode so far, but I'm so mad about the way they're writing almost all of the characters now. Oh, good.

13:58 Oh, I can't wait. What joys await us, Aviv.

14:02 What horrors await us. And moving over to the Instantgram, we had an interesting week.

14:09 Oh?

14:10 So, Queen Jasmine... Just writes, good morning. Thanks. Good morning to you, Jasmine. Yeah.

14:18 Okay.

14:21 Rohita Kadambi.

14:23 How wild of an opening.

14:25 Yeah, I don't know. Rohita Kadambi, who has a stand-up, she has a meme account. We got forwarded her meme of herself doing stand-up saying, I grew up in a conservative corner of the Midwest, so I got 90% of my sex education from Law & Order SVU. It gave me an appropriate fear of fraternities, but an unrealistic expectation of a functioning justice system. Which is not what you would say is a funny ha-ha meme at this point.

14:58 Currently, certainly not.

15:01 But, jokes on everybody, because I know Rohita. I produced and edited her stand-up special, the one... where this joke is from. And so I reached out to Rohita and invited her on the show, and she said, anytime.

15:17 Nice!

15:17 So stay tuned. Rohita will be on the show at some point.

15:21 Oh, that's awesome.

15:21 She's great. Real sweet. Sweetheart.

15:24 Hell yeah. I wonder, do you think the first episode of SVU this season is about the fucking Cornell 7?

15:31 Not the first, because they've already aired it.

15:34 Well, right, but didn't the season just start?

15:37 It did, but I'm going to guess that it's going to be the first episode after the winter hiatus.

15:43 Oh, they can't turn it around. They're not South Park. They can't turn it around that quick.

15:46 Yeah, not that fast. Peggy Ann writes in with a meme from Ms. NY Rangers, which is just a picture of Chris Maloney on the subway in New York saying, this is why I love NYC so much.

15:57 Nice.

15:58 Chris Maloney is on the same subway as me.

16:01 That's the thing, man. Everyone in New York uses the subway. You could be... Doesn't matter who you are. Everyone uses the fucking subway in New York.

16:09 Everyone uses the subway. Public transit. Drudgy Gas Rose and Ezra went to the Dun Dun Diner together and sent us a picture from behind.

16:18 Didn't they go together last time, too?

16:20 They did.

16:21 Yeah.

16:22 Sent us a picture from behind Captain Olivia Benson's desk. Good job, everyone.

16:28 Nice.

16:29 And lastly, but not leastly.

16:31 Is the food any good, guys?

16:33 Probably not.

16:34 I can't imagine, but I'm curious.

16:37 And lastly but not leastly, Brian Jimenez, with three Zs, writes in with, well, an audition for Law & Order SVU. He sent us, like, a self-tape of him doing a scene from Law & Order SVU. I believe he thinks that we can get him on the show.

17:03 So, Brian... We are the official.

17:07 We are the official. So, yeah, Brian, I mean, thanks.

17:11 I don't think we're going to be able to help you if you happen to be listening.

17:18 Sorry, Broski.

17:19 So, I don't know what to do with this. Should we reply to him and be like, we can't help you?

17:27 When can you be in Kansas? And that's all the mailbag that's fit to mailbag. As always, you can get at us. We're at SVU Podcast on Blue Sky and Instagram. The official Blue Sky and Instagram of basically anyone who wants to be on the show.

17:42 You can take that to the bank, the blood bank's editor. And for longer or weirder things or tweet-sized emails, send us an email, specialviewingunitspidermonkeygmail.com.