MFM Minisode 497

Hello, and welcome to my favorite murder the minisode Do you read you your stories and you will go first?

Okay, I'm not gonna give this one away.

Okay, let's see love from New Orleans, seventeen hundreds cemetery pool lore please, Hey, Karen and Georgia. Hello from New Orleans, Louisiana. I work as a ghost tour guide in the French Quarter. Yes it says dream jobbi as it sounds. And in twenty twenty four minnisodes someone wrote in about swimming in the pool where herb Ballmouster strangled his victims, and that's episode sixty seven. This reminded me of a creepy piece of pool related historical lore here.

In New Orleans, New Orleans, New Orleans, New Orleans. Yeah.

In the late seventeen hundreds, New Orleans closed its first cemetery, Saint Peter Cemetery, where the dead were actually buried underground, as opposed to in the above ground tunbes we tend to use today. Some of the bodies from that old cemetery were moved by their families to tombs in the new Saint Louis Cemetery Number one that many bodies were forgotten or abandoned, just paved over and left there.

Ooh.

In twenty eleven, a guy who owned a condo when the French Quarter decided to dig an in ground swimming pool.

In his courtyard.

Oh man, his condo happened to be on one of the blocks where Saint Peter Cemetery had been, and you guessed it. The crew started hitting bodies as they dug fifteen bodies in fact, within a twenty.

Square foot area.

A forensic team from LSU studied the unearthed remains and concluded that all of these people were either African American or Indigenous, which may explain why they weren't moved to the new cemetery. Their families probably didn't have the connections or the money. And that's when a really cool thing happened.

The head archaeologist on the project decided to arrange a public reburial event for these people who were left behind.

Wow.

There was a ceremony to honor the mixed heritage of black and Native people in New Orleans. And afterwards there was a second line parade to Saint Louis Cemetery Number one, where the remains were reinterred on sanctified ground. The pool was eventually completed, and I happen to know the current owners of the condo. Have I swum in that pool?

Apps a fucking lutely many times. Everyone calls it the Pool of Souls. Anyway, I don't know of any Poltergeist style hauntings at the Pool of Souls, and I'd like to think that's because all of those people have been so kindly laid to rest on sacred ground.

We try to do right by our dad in this city. PS.

Karen, I have got to tell you the sinkhole related pun my boyfriend recently made. We were driving through a beautiful, dysfunctional city with his potholes the size of meteor write craters, and we noticed a new place where the street had caved in. My boyfriend goes, oh shit, a new sinkhole just dropped. Get it, Yeah, just dropped. I died, Stay sexy and love New Orleans like the goddamn magical gem it is Ariadney, She her, Wow.

Yeah, I love New Orleans and those stories. And when you said that they gave those like the Unnamed Dead, it's called a second line parade. Yeah, so that's the band walking and like the whole like it's the celebration of life type of vibe. It's amazing. The subject line of this email is parkouring out of getting arrested for underage drinking. Here, Karen and Georgia, you recently asked for stories about parkouring out of trouble. Who are we?

I really love when I really.

Purposely ignore stuff so that it's just as fresh to meuse as it is to you. And I did not read.

Read past the book.

Okay, it's so funny for us, It says, note reference to the Roofman story in episode five point thirty six, smart and tricky.

All makes sense.

We asked for that.

Especially ones that involve high school parties, and I immediately knew I had a story to write. Couldn't have been more specific with these people, And they're like, yep, we got I got that. Finally, it says, I'm in my thirties now, still close friends with the three girls I went to the party with, and we still tell the story with pride. To set the scene, I was sixteen, Me and my three best friends went to a party at a friend's house whose parents were out of town.

There was beer, pong and lots of underage drinking. One of my friends decided, with the poor judgment of a teenager, to walk to a gas station with a group of people, and on the way there they got stopped by cops because a neighbor had called in a complaint about the party. While the cop worked on some paperwork in his car, my girls somehow had the wherewithal to call me and.

Say, dude, get out of the house. The cops are on their way there.

Nice Me and my two friends were hanging out in the basement, and I said something to the effect of get the fuck up, We gotta go right now. We all ran up the stage, and just as someone was answering the front door and cops were coming into the house, we opened the sliding glass door to the backyard and bolted out into the night. We were in a neighborhood with a series of fenced yards and houses, and we realized that if we tried to climb the fence at that moment, we were going to get caught, so instead, the three of us climbed up on the top of an RV at the back of the yard. The railings along the roof of the RV blocked the view of our flat bodies as cops swarmed the backyard, shining their flashlights around looking for drunk teenage nice.

They were all like sitting there.

Once the coast was finally clear, we leaped from the top of the RV over the back fence into someone's bushes. One of my friends caught her thigh on a piece of the metal fence on the way down and ended up with an eight inch gouge. Scratched up, bruised and bleeding, but giddy about our narrow escape, we made our way through backyards and called my friend's older sister to come pick us up. I seriously don't know how I got so lucky to grow up with these three amazing, badass women who always have each other's backs through all sorts of mischief and heartache, but their friendship means the world to me. Female friendships truly are a magical gift in this fucked up world. Thank you for sharing yours with

all of us. Much love, Erica, Wow, Erica beautiful, the perfect amount of ass kissing, the perfect amount of action.

Rates yeah, exactly, a wound, all the things and we asked for it and you get you delivered.

Yes, So thank you.

True to the word.

Basically literally, I'm not gonna give this one away. Okay, let's see, Hey, murder fam All right, ladies, let's cut the small talk and get right into it.

Stop being so bossy.

I wanted to share a story about how I didn't get murdered but definitely tempted fate when I was in my late twenties studying abroad in Italy, stranded on Easter weekend.

Weren't you just in Italy?

What's your rotten tomatoes rating on Italy?

Oh my god? How a outen tomatoes work? I think they do a percentages one hundred percent?

Really?

Yeah, it was great. Love love love love it stranded on Easter weekend.

And it's my face, not yours.

Stranded on Easter weekend in Italy. My friends and I were desperate for a ride to our condo and what look, someone offered us one. And then there's a catch. I'm not going to read it to you because I don't want to give it away. Everything shut down in Italy for Easter, so we had to leave our villa and entertain ourselves for the week. A little non fact about Italy, non family members are basically kicked out to fend for themselves.

During the sacred holiday, my two friends and I decided to head to Caprice. So we rented a tiny condo and took the train to Sorrento to explore.

I would love to confirm that with other Italians. It's like, is that having to everybody or is it just you guy?

They just didn't. They were like, let's go there one.

Hey, this is real sacred. How about you leave town?

Well, waiting for the bus that would take us over the mountain to our place, we decided to do a little shopping. As we shopped, we chatted with a shopkeeper and mentioned our plans to head to Capri. I usually dropped the bombshell that no buses were running all weekend because of Easter. We fact checked this and it was true.

We quickly realized we were stranded. Then the shopkeeper generously offered to drive us over the mountain once he got off work. My friends and I looked at each other and asked for some time to think about this offer. We were well aware this is how a tragic study of broad murder started. Well, I mean, an older man was offering a ride to three young women out of the kindness of his heart. Who does that and I'm sure our parents would have been very upset to know we were considering getting into a car with a stranger in a foreign country. But there were no buses for three days, so how else were we going to get to our place? So reluctantly we agreed. We met him outside the shop and that's when we saw it. His

blue sedan was covered in phallic etchings. Not one or two either, but the entire car looked like it had been a victim of a very determined, but not so talented artist, maybe one really pissed off X. They weren't just on in the dust either, They were scratched right into the paint. And we're talking everywhere, all sizes, shapes and angles.

A fucking cars, big dick car.

My friends and I exchanged questioning glances, but instead of backing out and embarrassing him, we climbed right in.

And what's that thing you to say, fuck politeness? Well not that day, ladies.

I ended up in the front seat because it had been decided that I was the most badass of the group and would be expected to protect everyone if necessary.

No pressure.

As I buckled my seatbelt and.

It says safety first, I glanced up and saw even more questionable carvings, this time carved right into his leather dashboard. It had to be an X, like an angry ex who just.

Yeah, carved. I mean, but it's just you're carving dirty pictures? What were the dashboard carvings?

Fix? It was all this? This is called?

Are those wieners etched on his car? We all made small talk while I silently calculated just how many phallic impressions it would take for this situation to become a red flag. I didn't dare ask about them, because what if it set him off? But also why wasn't he saying anything about them? They were not subtle. We got to the top of the mountain, he pulled over to show us a quote gorgeous photo op overlooking the Sorrento Valley.

At that point I was convinced this was it. This was where we were going to get thrown off a cliff and our parents were going to be so disappointed in us. But no, he simply snapped our picture and we got back in the car. We made it to our condo without incident. He even helped us get checked in, unloaded our bags, and drove off.

What a relief.

Later, I told my uncle this story, and he explained that sometimes people are just nice and that you must trust them. We murderinas, No, that's not always true, but it was true this time. Stay sexy and when in Italy, always put the most badass friend in the front seat. Kimberly ps. We never asked about the questionable carvings and he never mentioned them. An hour and a half of driving with curious doodles everywhere and not a single word about them.

That's the weirdest fucking part right.

Well, because clearly if like if it was an ex or some revenge, then that's one thing. But there's a chance he could have just wanted to do it and did it himself style.

Yeah, my husband hates this part of the story. Quote why didn't you ask about them?

Smiley Vias.

You know, there's I remember going to a little town, a little mountain town, and there was a bar that was famous for being a It was like a phallic bar, and there was all kinds of that everywhere, and that's the reason you went and had a drink.

Because it was like the dick bar.

What's that choice?

Yeah, I mean who knows? Yeah, Okay, Well, the subject line of this email is trapped in a Chuck E Cheese machine.

Why yes, I was, Oh, no, okay.

Similar, not the same in your most recent episode. There's no beginning. It just that we go right into talking about why somebody would be writing this in You specifically asked for stories about being trapped in a machine at.

Chuck E Cheese.

Sure that makes sense, and I.

Just happen to have a story for that. Weirdly specific.

I grew up in Milwaukee, Wisconsin in the eighties and Chuck E Cheese was where you went for birthday parties, playdates, and just general merriment. This specific Chuck E Cheese was pretty elaborate. I remember a really big ballpit next to a big bouncy area, completely surrounded by an overhanging series.

Of fort like structures.

Of course, they all had the usual games that would spit out tickets that you could then use for prizes as well. I am still to this day pretty darn good at ski ball.

Samech. I love it.

When I read that line, I was just like, George is gonna have something to say about this, bi But the real have you ever seen that viral video of the little boy that just literally nails that top high number every time.

Oh my god, so crazy.

But the real treasure was the quote cheese factory. This was a glassed in separate area that was sort of like a maze. Do you remember this, It sounds familiar.

You started out just walking through, but it got progressively smaller, narrower, and darker as you went to the point that it was just a small, narrow, square tunnel wrap and what I can only assume was the most disgusting carpet in the world. You could only continue through by crawling on your hands and knees. And we were small children, so it had to be a very small tunnel. My sister and I never once got to the end of wherever that tunnel went, because it just got so dark and so small that you could barely move. We tried so many times.

I'm getting claustrophobic. This is wedding.

This is a nightmare I have where I'm like walking down a hall, but suddenly the hall's small around me.

You know when you see those like those like drawings of people who go into caves and can't come out again.

I just can't. I can't.

They're sending children in.

Yeah, now, they're sending children.

Now, this is what they're doing.

Okay, So we never ended up where we started, and we never once were successfully able to get out of the cheese factory. The exit was a slide that would take you back outside the glass inn enclosure. We could always see that slide, but we could never figure out how to get there.

We always ended up banging on the glass sobbing, and our parents had to find someone to rescue.

I've done that slide.

And then it says, every period, single period, time I want to go up there, you.

Cry every time. I'm not coming to get kicktied that last tunnel.

No, we know how to We're doing it together. Why they continued to let us go back in or why we wanted to, is beyond me. We weren't necessarily trapped in a machine at chuck E Cheese per se, but we sure spent a lot of time trapped in the cheese factory here and it haunts me to this day. I wish I knew what it was at the end of that gross carpeted tunnel and how to really get out.

Kate, do we have a photo?

We got nothing, We got We got the photos in our mind of that creepy little dark carpeted.

Tunnel like carpet. I can like, it's like the industrial carpet probably.

Right, Yes, it's it's dark maroon, maybe black a little bit, and then bright red or bright orange, right, like a combination where you're like, why these.

Colors covers all the stain wet stains.

And they were making it sound like as they were trying to go through other.

Kids too, It's like it's a crush situation. Yes, well here's a nice one. My last one. Karen's voice is literally healing. What Oh no, it just goes Karen at all hurtful and you're trying to cause problems. But I'm reading it. Longtime listener. Anyway, I must inform you that you have quite a grip on this. Tonight is suffering, heart of hearing listener, here's the deal. For as long as I can remember, I slept with a TV on and would tell my boomer parents that the quiet is too loud, so show to have her TV on. Yeah, I haven't used my fucking I can't meaning to use.

That means I don't need them, right, if I haven't.

Used them, Oh, maybe you did, Italy heal your eyeballs is my voice right now, healing your fish.

To hear everything now. Blah blah blah blah blah. Too loud.

Oh, they don't work.

They're just very real stupid, too loud. When they complained about the TV being you know that authority figure who speaks sternly and quietly when he's mad. That's my dad and I when I responded with huh more than my low speaking father appreciated, I would get in some major trouble for quote not paying attention. Growing up, I was always quote too loud, and we get in trouble for quote not listening. But I didn't know how to change it and was always super embarrassed.

Teachers absolutely hated it.

But did my parents ever think any of these complaints were cause enough to take me to get a hearing test for Fox's sake?

Of course not.

They're boomers and I quote just wasn't paying attention and needed to be quieter.

Yeah, I am.

I hear, which is the thing children cannot do right, cannot.

It's not part of their the thing they come you know.

At the age of thirty one, I suffered an extreme double ear infection that resulted in multiple CT scans to watch out for meningitis. The infection was very intense and even resulted in short.

Term memory life. Oh shit, yeah, it's fucked up.

I thankfully walked away with a physically trauma free brain. But the ringing, oh my god, the ringing was so loud.

Do you have tonight?

This?

I don't, Vince has it? It sounds terrible.

I sincerely thought I was going to go crazy. No sound was present enough to drown it out. I visited an antea and he suggested that I quote learn coping mechanisms to alleviate the condition. Then took only a quick peek in my ears. I said, fuck these local doctors and delegated this job to someone outside my small corner of southwest Michigan. And then it says, go lie ins Vince.

This new doctor did a thorough exam and a hearing test and all caps. It turns out I was born a little bit deaf and can't register low tones thirty.

One as much, she found out. Damn it, you bet.

The first thing I did on the drive home was call my dad demand an apology for all those years of hounding.

Did I receive one?

He only giggled, the doctor referred me to get hearing aids that amplify lower tones and provide a constant little sh sound in the background, which completely dissolves the ringing.

God.

The aids also connect to my phone and I can listen to my favorite podcasts without anyone knowing.

Wink, you're just in a meeting.

You're you're just like, yeah, doing a lot of nodding at the wrong time.

I cannot sleep without the hearing aids. And this is where miskill Garup comes into play. Do You Need to Ride and MFM have been my quote falling asleep podcast for years before my E and T appointments, and have continued to be in the years after. There's something about Karen's voice that hits the right note to drown out the nighttime ringing and lulls me right to sleep.

I don't think that's true.

Uh, I me using that. Don't worry about my mental health. I stack my CUE with podcasts like Sleepy History and Lights Out Library.

I list the Lights Out Library.

Yes, I do.

I need it for when I'm asleep. I'll be totally fine. All this to say, hearing aids are just glasses for your ears. No one should be ashamed to get them because quote, they're too young. I've heard so much of this since getting them. Insurance did not take promo code murder to help cover.

The cost of the hearing aids.

And the third one is Karen's voice is literally healing.

Stay sex. You look so mad about this. It's sweet.

It's embarrassing.

Sorry, stay sexy and pay attention. Okay, she her.

Okay, I'm honored, and god damn, I'm sorry that you, like tonight is in that ringing and that idea that you just had to deal with.

That ferdy And they're like, well, get used to it.

Just as someone who like has seizures, when you have a thing that's wrong with just inside your head, and like, it's not like someone can be like you're poor broken arm, yeah, which is a blood testing Yeah yeah. It's just that's so frustrating and so like. And it's also funny because I wonder if having a dad who is technically also kind of deaf or at least very hard of hearing, right because you did the belt yeah.

Oh right, because of the fucking firehouse.

The firehouse and the alarms made all of those guys, that generation of firemen completely deaf right, so alarms on the yeah in that when they'd all go off, when they'd be asleep. Yeah, that was like beyond not good for your ears. So yeah, so we have to modulate our voice where we're yelling at my dad, but in the.

Lowest register possible.

Jesus.

So, I think I've always had a I've always And also the first time I saw Janine Garofflow do stand up comedy, I was like, I want to do have a deep voice when I do stand up comedy because I kind of was like, I'm here like this and I was like, no, I'm going to talk as low as I can.

And now people fall asleep to that. Thanks to Janine.

Groffel, the dulcet Tones, Thanks to my deaf father and Jeane Garoflow.

This is the product you got?

But do you have one moren't?

Yes?

Okay?

Oh yeah, this is great. The subject line of this email thank you.

The name.

Just k oh. What if I wrote it about myself?

Do you know his voice like Gride my band all I listened to library?

Okay?

The subject line of this email is inappropriate and probably illegal kid jobs. Ay ahoy. Here is my story of inappropriate kid jobs I gave myself. I also, for the record, baby sat five children under the age of eight, including an infant when I was ten. Dude, gen X was no joke. In third grade, I was living with my great grandparents, largely unsupervised, completely undiagnosed ADHD, fiercely overachieving, and just a deeply weird kid and then in parentheses, still weird.

No regrets. That's right, Yeah, that's please be either I was going to end up in federal prison or running my own company.

Same my.

Friend, we're all looking in the mirror.

At each other that we're all Spider Man pointing at each other. But luckily, because I am introverted and like my space, I chose the latter. My entrepreneurial journey began at a friend's house. When I hit the jackpot, I found the dirtiest, most scandalous publication my young eyes had ever beheld, of Frederick's of Hollywood Catalog.

I was obsessed with that as a kid.

It was the dirtiest thing, you know what.

I wanted, the full body like like fishnet lace suit, like it going to your ankles, into your what are these wrists?

Enough to hear?

But it was like see through and lace, and I was like, that's when I'm on adult That's going to be the sexiest thing that ever happened to me.

I feel like in that catalog they were drawings, right, wasn't it like really cool cartoon women.

I don't remember that at all, maybe like in when I was like probably the nineties when I was looking at it, early nineties.

Oh, I was looking at it in eighteen hundreds.

Okay, okay, it says naturally they saw this Frederick's of Hollywood catalog get their friends house, and so they say naturally.

I took it with zero remorse.

I saw an underserved demographic of neighborhood boys, and I instantly launched a tiered subscription service.

Oh my gosh.

Fucking genius. So the first tier of the subscription service is Bear Essentials and it's twenty five cents and it's a standard glance at bras and underwear. Then the second tier is Cheeky Business, which is fifty cents. I'm one of the.

Most brilliant kid in the world.

Is happening, And cheeky business is high cleavage or a thong. Wow, Now, looking back, did I lead some young boys astray? Maybe, But like any good CEO, I didn't care, and more importantly, I knew I couldn't rely on a single revenue stream. I channeled my illicit money into a second venture, establishing a schoolyard candy cartel.

This is fucking major.

I'd buy a pack of Now and Laters for a quarter and flip the individual squares for twenty five cents each. Come on, I was basically the Pablo Escobar of cavity. The lingerie division was eventually shut down when a teacher so good, so smart. The lingerie division was eventually shut down when a teacher noticed a suspicious queue of boys forming around me. My poor father had to sit in the principal's office, not the first or last time, by the way, and listened to a tale of his wayward daughter's adult undergarment subscription ring.

I mean he had to be a little proud.

It had to be. I got grounded. Obviously.

They took away my intellivision. Do you remember in television now?

Yeah? What is that?

It was kind of like early Atari, Oh my god, which I found deeply unfair.

It's not my fault. I knew my audience.

However, the candy operation completely survived the crackdown. I ran that operation straight through sixth grade until I was finally busted. But I had bought an amazing Cassio keyboard.

Wow, totally worth it.

Unsurprisingly, I've now been a legitimate, successful, and happily self employed business owner for twenty two years. The hustle started early, and I can't recommend it enough. Stay sexy and be your own boss. And it's just the initials.

PCP is so smart because it's the teared part that makes me go, that's a smart I would never think of that.

Yeah, the teared part is brilliant.

Yeah you could have this? Yeah, sure, yeah, find it.

Steal another quarter out of your dad's bowl on his dresser and you can see some cheeks.

Amazing. Tell us how laric started.

You became the person you are today by doing fucked up things as a child.

Yep, at my favorite murder at Gmail.

Get it off your chest on this podcast. We love it.

This is the place to tell everyone we're all with you. Yeah, and we love you and we appreciate you, and thank you for listening. And stay sexy, don't get murdered.

Good bye, Elvis. Do you want a cookie?

This has been an exactly right production.

Our senior producer is Molly Smith and our socio producer is Tessa Hughes.

Our editor is Aristotle Ascevedo.

This episode was mixed by Leona Squalacci.

Email your hometowns to My Favorite Murder at gmail dot com.

Follow the show on Instagram at my Favorite Murder.

Listen to My Favorite Murder on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

And now you can watch My Favorite Murder on Netflix.

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Goodbye,

MFM Minisode 497

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