Melyssa Ford

R & B Money! We are Tank, Jake.

Valentine.

We are the authorities. Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Tank. I'm Jake Valentine. This is the R & B Money podcast. Yes, it is. The authority on all things R & B.

All.

All. All of it. Every aspect. Aspect. Oh! See, because the most important person in the R & B world is the lady. Yeah, yeah. You understand what I'm saying? I see where you're going. You're looking for the love of the lady. Come on, lady. The admiration of the lady. See, it starts off. Where it starts? In this visual world of vixens. And then it transforms. It makes you want to be something. Into not just a body, but a mind.

Come on, come on with it. And now the intellectuality of a thing is born. Come on. And now when you combine the vixen with the intellectual, you get hot and bomb. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm the pop. Come on, knock yourself out, nigga. Knock yourself out. Our good friend, Melissa Farley. Knock yourself out.

I think that might be the best intro I've ever had on a podcast ever in life.

Take it with you.

I don't think I can.

If a motherfucker don't play that before you come on stage, they doing the wrong thing. They don't walk out.

Yeah.

Amen.

That's motherfucking right.

Melissa Ford.

Hi.

Hello. Hi, hi, guys. Welcome. Toronto Zone.

Come on.

You're going to go there all the way. Right now. Listen, listen. We didn't even know. I didn't know it was a place until I heard of Melissa Ford. I didn't know it was a place until her. I ain't going to hold you. No, man. Just you.

Isn't it a magical place, though?

Yeah. I didn't know that things existed. Yeah. Things.

Things.

Things existed. In such a way. Yes, yes, yes. Until a visual of, what the fuck is that?

It's Toronto.

This is literally what a nigga told me. Nigga, it's Toronto. Uh-huh. Yeah?

Toronto. Yeah.

Yeah.

You said one time, you were like, I mean, it's all hallelujah.

And you said this 10 years ago. I've never forgotten. And I was like, oh.

Because the Lord was working in Toronto, little did we know. Yeah. He started a long, you know, started a while ago. Yeah. Some guys that were up there that brought it to our world. We're going to get into that. We're going to get into it. We're going to start at the beginning.

Okay.

Listen.

Okay.

Because people need to understand the origins of young male. Yeah. How does this start? How is this born? Take me back to little Melissa Ford. and what you were doing. what aspirations you had as a little girl, what you were pretending to be, all of these things.

Holy shit, that's loaded as hell.

That is loaded as hell because there's so many lanes that that kind of occupies because at some point there is part of the conversation will revolve around the soundtrack of my life during those formative years, core memories. And right now I'm writing my book And the beginning of my book, in order to make people kind of understand me on a fundamental and foundational level, I have to start with my parents. And the easiest way for me to describe what it was like to grow up in Toronto with my father who was Black and my mother who was white, and I was first-generation Canadian. They were both immigrants. I have to talk about the soundtracks that played in both cars.

You know, and so I'll get to that in a second.

But Toronto is like there's so many biracial people in Toronto.

It's like its own population.

It's like its own almost race. You know what I'm saying? To the point where I didn't really understand the concept of racism until I moved to the U.S. because we never really addressed race in Canada. And there's a reason I'm saying that. Your ethnicity tells more of a story than your race does. You know, I don't want to serious this out, but it really is a thing that I'm kind of like, you know, discovering my way of articulating this kind of thing. I just came from traveling through seven countries. I was in three European countries, colonizers.

And and then I went to Africa, the colonized countries. And boy, was it an education I was not prepared for and I'm still processing. And so race obviously comes up a lot in that. So anyways, little Melissa, half black, half white, living in Toronto, just thinking, just be a nerd. I was a nerd.

I was a nerd. I was a nerd. I was a real nerd.

I started reading when I was like two. And I started reading novels when I was like six or seven. I was like voracious. I devoured the written word. And I would literally stay home from playing with friends because I wanted to read and read and read. So at some point I felt like I was going to become like a lawyer. And then I thought that I was going to work for the FBI in Quantico, Virginia, studying serial killers.

You ain't read more books than Cat Williams.

I don't think anybody on the face of this earth has.

You good.

I don't think anybody on the face of this earth has read more books than Kelly.

If you start reading at two, he definitely started at 18 months. Yeah, he's going to trump that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Proceed.

I was like, that is impressive. What is it, 2,000 books a year or something like that?

Come on, come on.

I don't... Not me.

But yeah, so that was what it was like growing up in Toronto. I didn't really... I was kind of like oblivious until I'd moved to the U.S. about, you know, race and race relations and stuff like that. So I had black father, white mother. So in the car with my dad and his big body blue, baby blue Pontiac with the eight track player. Pinky rings on both babies.

And the Mr. T chains with the medallions and the little taco meat. That was my father. Is he originally Caribbean?

Yes, he's from Barbados.

Okay. Everything you just painted was Buju Banta.

You know what I mean? Yeah, he was Bajan. And in the car with my dad, it was everything from Duke Ellington, Count Basie, Parliament, James Ingram, Al Jarreau, Barry White, Lou Rawls. You'll never find. He was super. That was the car rides with my dad. God, I could just smell the upholstery, man. It was like a little bit of mold and- I don't know, like peanuts. And then car rides with my mom. Kind of like the, there was always like a fifth of something in the back, you know, not like he was driving and drinking. It was going home with him. But anyway, so then in the car with my mom was everything from Pat Benatar, Hart, Fleetwood Mac, Eurythmics, Corey Hart, Michael McDonald, Doobie Brothers.

That was the car ride.

You had the black car and the white car.

Bob Seger. But is it really, though? Bob Seger, the police. So it was this crazy infusion of.

just you're just getting it all and not really conscious of it, but you were now.

Yeah.

Every piece. Yeah.

It was, it was awesome.

Like it really was like the early soundtrack of like my entire life. And it's, it's core memory. I, and every time I listened to, you know, whatever, Christopher Cross sailing, anything yacht music.

Okay. Yacht rock. I call it, you know, white niggas. Yeah. It's pretty much what it is. Yeah. Let's be real. Yeah. Yeah.

It's, it's extremely nostalgic. I can, I literally can feel like the wind from like the, you know, the open window riding shotgun with my mom, just driving through the country and stuff like that. Like really incredible childhood memories of, you know, of, of peace.

Yeah.

It was awesome.

That was awesome. And, and, and it's just books. It's just smart.

That's all it is.

It is.

That's all it is.

It's like devouring the, the written word.

And at no point are you thinking I'm going to make a dent in the entertainment industry.

Not even a little bit.

So no modeling as a kid either.

I wasn't that cute. I mean, I mean, you know, you know, when you say, oh my God, my kid's the cutest kid. Okay. Yeah, sure. I definitely went through an ugly phase, you know, kind of chunky, with an afro, got mistaken for a boy.

I would love to see these photos.

I burned all of them. I fucking burned all of them. All the evidence is gone, motherfuckers. It's gone, okay? You only have, you gotta take my word for it. Even though I'm sure that like my nieces and nephews, they're like, oh, I'll dig that shit up for you. So if I, listen, if I find a picture, I'll send it to you so you can insert here That would be great.

I never I never would have thought that.

Yeah.

I mean, you know, with this bone structure, like it started off a little doughy. All the scaffolding you see up here.

Yeah.

No, it didn't start off that way. I was a little doughy, little motherfucker. And yeah.

And when do you grow into this?

I would say the ugly dunkling phase was really short because by the time I was like 11, 12 ish, you know, I've been running around in the streets with my friends doing hood rat shit and stuff like that. And then suddenly all the just like just it looked like somebody just started to carve me out. And that happened before my brain caught up with it. So I went from boys throwing spitballs at me to like following me through the hallways of like, you know, my junior high school. And that was wildly confusing and really, really scary.

So it took me a while for my brain to catch up with what my body was. obviously saying to people, you know, so that was interesting. And yeah. And then, and then there was junior high and high school and I became ridiculously boy crazy. Like everybody does. And that be good. That begins another soundtrack of life. And that right there is guy.

Um, Jodeci.

Of course. Yeah.

I have such a funny Jodeci story. Um, Intro, After 7, like I got the list over here, but like Mint Condition. And where are.

You guys getting the music from in Toronto at that time?

So what's crazy is we didn't get BET until like 1996 or 97. Yeah, we didn't get BET. We definitely didn't have Ralph McDaniels or, you know, Music Box.

We didn't have any of that.

We didn't get MTV, nothing. So we had much music, but there really was like a filter as to what music we received.

So I just.

I didn't really grow up on like hip hop and rap music, which is the irony of who I actually end up becoming, you know? So, I mean, like what we had like Rob bass and DJ easy. It takes two, you know, this is what I remember like in being in junior high, but it wasn't.

The radio planet though. Or how were you guys getting it though? It was just, was it kind of word of mouth up there?

It was, yeah, it was more word of mouth and just really honestly like who your click was, like who did you hang out with?

Right. And somebody discovered it and then brought it to.

Yeah.

And so I lived in Toronto proper, too. So like this actual city of Toronto, I'm not from Scarborough. I'm not from Brampton or Mississauga or Rexdale or Jane and Finch. Like I'm from Toronto proper. So, you know, like the cute guys there. were in the outskirts. They were in Scarborough. They were in Brampton and Mississauga. And what's really funny is Director X, who was called Little X in the beginning, my first real boyfriend, his whole, like he had like four brothers and their whole crew, they were like besties with Little X. But we don't meet for another five years.

We don't meet until like I'm like 20 years old or something like that.

Yeah.

So hanging out with that group, my ex-boyfriend, his name was Sean, and his brothers, that was what introduced me to like, they reminisce over you. Like, I remember where I was and the first time I heard it, like the horns, I was.

Like, what is this sorcery?

You know and then i became like super hooked on like boot camp click like smith and wesson sound boy is like one of my all-time favorite hip-hop songs will be for the rest of my life i'll be in the nursing home like blasting that shit um le fleur le fla ishkoshka like that's my shit too i really i was yeah that was that was it um yeah that that was that was my but i mean still like R & B was more my thing. Like R & B was really more my thing. Like I remember the first time that I heard Stay by Jodeci.

Me too.

Oh my gosh.

I want to hear your story.

I was in church.

I was definitely not in church. I was in the backseat of a car.

Well, I'd rather hear your story.

I was in the backseat of the car preparing to lose my virginity.

To stay. Yeah. Not knowing he probably was not going to stay.

I mean, here's the thing is, I don't know if I really was thinking that far ahead.

Yeah, no, it was just the moment. It was just the soundtrack. It was the soundtrack. It was the moment.

I mean, picture this. Sicily, 1912. Okay, no, it's Buffalo. in the middle of fucking winter, okay? And if you know anything about Buffalo in the winter, they get a shit ton of snow.

Terrible.

It just blows over Toronto and just dumps into Buffalo, okay? So there's snow drifts as high as, like, your fucking, like, chest, right up to here. So it's brick outside. He is snow drift. So we are fogging up the windows, okay? And this guy is gorgeous.

His name is Dana. My sister hooked me up with him.

And, um.

I don't... And he starts playing Jodeci, Stay. And I'm like, oh.

So here we are.

It was the most magical shit I'd ever heard in my life. Like the intro to Stay. I mean, you guys got to do an episode on like songs with the greatest fucking intros. And there's something about that intro to Stay.

Yeah. And a hundred percent. Yeah. Okay.

So, but I'll just ruin it for you. I did not lose my virginity that night.

Yeah.

No, I saw what he was working with. I was like, I'm not trying to die. Fuck that.

Nope.

That is not a starter dick.

Nope.

It's not.

No.

So it took him.

Yeah. I held onto it for a little bit longer. Y'all girls, if you know, you know. Amen. If you know, you know. Yeah, size queens, they didn't start off that way.

That is great.

They should not.

You'd work up to that.

I gotta work up to that.

Yeah, but I went back to high school and I was like, y'all, I gotta tell you about this new group called Joe Decky.

Oh, my God.

I called Joe Decky for at least.

He was trying to hit you with Joe Decky.

We're actually so funny.

Somebody else had heard it, and they were like, you mean Jodeci? I said, that's what I said. That's what I said. I said Jodeci, okay? Yeah, fucking Joe Decky.

Joe the guy. Joe the guy. Yeah.

Good times, though. Good times.

But boy, and that is like, oh, just impact.

Yeah. Impact.

Like hit you in the face with a sledgehammer kind of impact. You know what I'm saying? And by the way, does anybody sit down and say, fuck y'all for making me make this choice of top five? R & B songs, top five R.

& B artists. When we get there, you can say it. Okay.

All right.

Okay. You're early. I'm early. I'm early. She came with the heat. Okay. Get me to the discovery of Melissa Ford.

All right. Well, Hmm.

So.

I guess I would say that, like, my beauty was really kind of like a second thought, you know, like I was known for being like the brain of where of all my of my crew, you know, like wherever I was. If you don't understand something, fucking go ask Melissa. Like, I remember when it was Google. I was Google at the time.

Yeah.

I remember my friends watched Six Degrees of Separation. They were like, what the fuck did we just watch? Call Melissa. She'll be able to dissect this because I'm also like this little bit of a cinephile. A what?

You're a what?

Cinephile.

Okay.

I basically like watching movies and like dissecting that stuff. So I was in university and I was working three jobs to pay my way through university and I And then Lil X came to town and he wanted to find the perfect girl for this video.

And the video was the Canadian rap all-stars.

And it was the Rascals, Shocklair, Socrates, Cardinal Official. And he wanted to find the girl. He had a, I guess, basic instinct to just kind of come out maybe like within the last year or two. And he was just obsessed with Sharon Stone's character, you know, the whole that. He had it in his mind that the girl was going to do that move. And and so he just, you know, his friends were showing him the cream of the crop, I guess.

And he was like, no, no, no.

And they were like, what the fuck are you looking for? And he was like, I'll know her when I see her. Such a Scorpio thing to say. And they were like, two of them were like, well, what about Melissa? And I was like, yeah, Melissa. And he was like, who is this Melissa? And they showed him a picture and he was like, call her right now.

And they that was it. They said, little X wants to meet you. I said, the video director.

And they were like, yeah. And I was like, for what? They were like, he wants to put you in a video. And I was like, for what? Like, I didn't get it.

Not realizing he had met you years ago.

No, we hadn't. We had the same connection points.

Yeah.

Through this same crew, but we had never met. So this was the first time we're meeting like five years after the fact.

Okay.

And so we met and.

um we it we're both scorpios and really cerebral and i guess we just spoke each other's languages and he was just like she's the girl he wasn't just looking for i guess beauty he was looking for somebody that just whose aura translate like translated through the camera lens, you know, and who just didn't, who just knew like how to look. And I guess I knew how to look.

That's absolutely a thing.

Yeah. Yeah.

Absolutely. I think cause you see so many, so many beautiful women in the world, but you see a lot of pretty beautiful women that have been in videos and sometimes you'll see it and be like, okay, she's cute. Yeah. And then it just, the moment passes. Yeah.

And sometimes it's not even about like, you know, classic beauty. You know, like somebody who really is just like, her aura is just so sensual. You just want to bite her. Like Teresa Randall. Remember?

Absolutely. Yeah.

Teresa Randall had that... She just had that je ne sais quoi. You know what I mean? Like she was a beautiful woman, but she wasn't like. It was beyond that. Yeah, it was beyond that.

It is beyond that. It is.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. So she's like a perfect example. So it's just like that, that aura, that transcendence kind of thing.

Did you know you had that at that time?

I think it's just a Scorpio thing.

Your ass ain't no.

I don't know. I didn't. I'll be honest with you. I don't think that I knew. I think that X saw it in me. And that just is like X's artistry. That's his gift is he knows how to mold things and people, you know, before he was director X and little X. he was doing storyboarding for big dog films, which was hype Williams company. So all of like, you'd see, you know, if hype came up with a, you know, a treatment, you'd see X doing the storyboarding, just like all of this, like incredible drawing. And he's just, he's fascinating.

Like he's fascinated.

The way his mind works is just, he's in a class all by himself. So that was, that was how it happened. I became like his muse. He loved working with me. He was like, I'm going to be a big deal. And I'm going to bring you to the States when I, you know, kind of really make it.

And I said, all right, buddy.

Sure.

No fucking problem. This is not going to rest, you know, hang my hat on that shit. I got to go back to school.

Yeah.

Exactly. And then he was right. Like a year later, he called me. He was like, it's time. And I was like, oh, okay. So I flew to New York and I did, uh, it was called, uh, Tommy's theme on the belly soundtrack locks and made men. And, um, I didn't know who the fuck anybody was. Like, I had no clue who these people were whatsoever. Like, none.

Zero.

I'm just showing up because sex wants me to be here. And then from that, I went home. And three days later, I get a call from Hype Williams' casting director, Amber Jarrett.

Rest in peace.

She was like, hi, Melissa. My name's Amber Jarrett. Hype Williams wants to book you for 112 Anywhere.

And we'd like to fly you to Miami.

And I was like, oh, my God.

Hi.

Never been to Miami. Like, this is so exciting. And so then I think that that's really just how it started. That's kind of how it started.

So with that side of the business, which a lot of people haven't talked about, and it's an absolutely different business now, obviously, but was there money in it early on?

Back then? Yeah, I think that there's this pocket in time. I want to say that it started... The first video I can think of that I know had a really big budget was Hypnotize. And that was, what, 1997, right? I feel like it came out after he... Yeah, I feel like it came out after Biggie passed away. I think, if I'm not mistaken. So that's one of the first videos that I can think, just knowing what production looked like, you know, a high-level production looked like, I was like.

that video was not cheap to make.

At all.

So, but then I can't really think of, and so then, you know, just like Diddy videos with Mace and that sort of thing, like those cost a pretty penny, but then shit got the fuck out of hand. Like as like in like late 99, 2000. I mean, these- No, Hype and.

Lil X kind of ushered that in. For real. Like the real big, big budget video. Yeah. That I remember. I'll take that back. F. Gary Gray. with the California Love video.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

That was the first one that I personally saw, just my memory, of, like, the behind-the-scenes documentary on MTV, and they were showing all this shit happening, and all the costume designs and all that type of stuff, where you were like, okay, now this is what they call a big budget.

Yeah, and let's be clear, like, this is, we're not talking about Michael Jackson and Thriller and that sort of thing.

We're talking about hip-hop videos.

Hip-hop and R & B.

Yeah, hip-hop and R & B videos, so this is where, this is new territory for, Where the labels are printing fucking money. You know what I'm saying? Like they would literally thong song. They did thong song remix. They'd already did thong song. They were like, yeah, we don't like it that much. Let's do it again. And then like, let's do a bigger budget.

Another million.

Yeah.

We'll spend another million.

So what were you getting?

So in the beginning, you know, I was getting it was like a few million.

They can make like $ 1, 000 or something like that.

Not that big of a deal.

But then when I kept saying no to videos.

The power of no.

The power of no. But not intentionally. Not intentionally. Really, honestly, my priorities were just straight. I was in school. I had three jobs. And so my bread and butter was school and work. And I'm not just going to, you know, fuck it off just to go do a video.

I like, you know, I'm sorry.

So like Thug Life is Mine, Mobb Deep and Nas was shot in like Tahiti. And I was like, yeah, no, can't do it. It got to the point where Amber Jarrett was like, Hi, Melissa. I know you're going to say no, but hype's making me call you anyways. He's shooting a video by Jay-Z. It's called Big Pimpin'..

Shooting and blah, blah, blah.

So let me know.

Bye.

Called her up and said, bitch, I can do that one.

That happens to.

Me during spring break. I can do that one. That was shot in Trinidad. Well, two parts of it. So there's the part where me and my crew are mostly Canadian girls. And we're in Trinidad. And then the second part with like Pimp C and whatnot, that's in Miami.

So I wasn't there for that part.

Okay. Yeah.

We were in, we were in Trinidad in the middle of carnival. That was fucking magical.

I remember watching that like, that shit is incredible.

It really was.

I want to rap, man. Yeah.

It really, it really.

I want to rap? Yeah. Let's try it. I'm about to fucking try it. Let's try it.

It was, it was, it was a lot of fun. It was a lot of fun. It was a lot of fun.

But that's what the, that, those moments, in my opinion, it was, it bred aspirations. Like, you know, just from the, especially from the hood.

Yeah.

You know what I mean? It's like, you're seeing certain things that just like, yeah? Mm-hmm. We can go there with this? Mm-hmm. That, oh man, because you got to think from an American standpoint, right? That was not seen every day for us.

Yeah.

And back then, let's be real, it was probably a handful of niggas who was island hopping.

Yeah yeah that was what.

I was like everybody act like it's a you know oh yeah i've been that wasn't the conversation back no it just wasn't so being able to see that visually and seeing that in hip-hop videos and seeing artists that were from our neighborhoods i felt like our neighborhoods it was like oh this is this is something to aspire to like yeah we got it we gotta get that i got that one that the one right there yeah with with the little kind of chain kind of outfit, bikini thing. Need her. So I need to do this to get to that. To get over there. Yeah.

And MTV used to do this thing like, you know, the big premiere, world premiere, you know. And what was so interesting is I was shooting Cher Shayla Ghost.

Ah, another classic.

All I did was classics.

Oh, here we go.

For real.

Turn yourself up. Turn yourself up. She came in at a high level. She don't have to be turnt up. It's going to bust the speakers in a minute.

I mean, you know, I mean, I've done so much humility for so many years.

Hilarious.

I'm about to hit 50. That shit's over.

Yeah, yeah.

Happy belated.

Thank you.

Happy belated.

Oh, my God.

That shit was lit. it was so good by the way sidebar it was so good seeing the reverse of it being your 50th and jamie being there being like you know like kind of yeah kind of corralling everybody and whatnot it just was good to see it was funny because we were at jamie's 50th that shit was lit.

Live move oh my live in la god live in la it was in la it was so i was like when i was making my part i was like So we're not going to do that. Jamie has a lot of money, so we're not going to do that. Right.

When he's on stage, like, rapping with Ice Cube, I was like. That's crazy.

I was standing like this. I know. Are you kidding me?

It was Ice Cube.

Jamie Foxx, and a mariachi band. So I was thinking, I was like, it was wild. Yeah, there was a.

Lot going on. Oh, my God. I laughed so hard that night. That was just such a good night, and I don't like to go outside. But anyways, I digress.

Where the fuck were we?

I'm sorry.

We were.

The video where you get paid.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

You had shot a classic video. Oh, yeah.

Cher Shella Ghost.

Thank you.

Cher Shella Ghost.

So I'm doing Cher Shella Ghost and there's a lot of the same girls because a lot of Canadian girls because these are all X and Hype videos. So Hype was, you know, director of Big Pimpin', but X was like first like, you know, first AD or first director, second director, whatever the title was, but he was right there.

He was the underground railroad to get all y'all to America. For real.

For real. Yes, that was all X. All the Canadian beauties that y'all fell in love with, that is X. And so a lot of us were used in the same videos all the time. So every time I would come to a set, I'd be like, let me get the call sheet. And I'd look at the call sheet. I'm like, fuck yeah, my crew is here. You know, and I knew it was going to be One, two things.

I knew it was going to be a really fucking good time, and I also knew I was safe.

Come on, shout out some of them. Come on, shout out some of them, because you're here. Some names.

Sarah Rossetti.

Yeah.

Do you know Sarah Rossetti? Oh, that's my girl.

Sasha.

Naomi.

Yeah.

Cindy. Sharice. Hazel. Not the one you're thinking of. She looks like a panther.

How does she know what I'm thinking? I'm sad. OK. Point to that nigga. I got a point to me. I don't even know.

Tanisha Scott, Drea. These were these were the girls that like when I saw them on the call sheet, not only did I know we were going to have a really good time, but we all felt safe with each other. We knew that we would create a safe environment together. And X would make sure that we felt safe with each other because, I mean, let's keep it all the way fucking funky. Sometimes these shit's Could get... Go sideways.

It could be tricky out there.

It could be tricky out there. There was circumfested waters, for real.

There was... Yeah, there was... Let's just say the vocabulary that we have now, we did not have that vocabulary back then.

We didn't have an understanding about a lot of.

There was no Me Too back then.

No hashtag Me Too.

Consent. There was no.

There was no consent. Shit. Consent? You hear? I was consenting. Yeah.

Yeah, that was what it was looked at. It's like, if you're here, you're fair game.

You're down.

Yeah, that was almost like we're doing an honest day's work for an honest day's pay here, motherfucker. Like, I don't know what the.

Fuck you thought, but it just was.

Oh, boy, I was Dolly Parton and Danny Coleman around the desk and shit like that. That was that was that was.

It's common. It's a real thing.

That's a very, very real thing. So anyways, here we are, Cherchilla Ghost. We're in the Parker Meridian Hotel in New York City. We've got two floors of this shit and it's just, just havoc. Just nuts.

Just women everywhere.

Cameras.

Just like the video.

It was supposed to be like Tom Hanks and what was that movie?

Bachelor. Bachelor Pad or something like that. It's a Tom Hanks movie from like the 80s.

Okay. Anywho. Bachelor Party.

Bachelor Party.

Yeah.

That was the.

I love that movie. That was the whole premise of it.

And so in between, you know, just like kind of like resting in between scenes and stuff like that when you weren't being used. Gloria was also on that set. She was also in Big Pimpin', but she was in Miami. I was in Trinidad. So we actually met for the first time there. And we're sitting on the floor of one of the hotel rooms, like just a bunch of people in the same room because we're all getting ready to watch the world premiere of Big Pimpin'. Not knowing that we were all in the same video. We had no clue.

So it was like, holy shit, bitch.

Oh my God, that's you.

It was just like, it was so much fun. It was its own thing.

Kind of education.

You know what I mean? And then, you know, saying yes to a project and then saying no to the next five. Well, that just dramatically increases.

So what was the fee now?

I mean, you know, so by the time I got up to doing, knock yourself out. Yeah. Yeah.

Knock yourself out.

That was when, that was really when the paycheck drastically changed.

Yeah.

I didn't have a point telling that one. I didn't have a point telling that one. But yeah, that was when it drastically changed just because X decided to do something very different. Everybody was just packing videos full of girls, full of girls. And he was just like, let's quiet everything down for a second. Let's focus on just one girl and a day in the life of her and her man who just happens to be jadakiss and this song and the whole nine you know and um x recently did kind of like a tiktok where he kind of does explains the inner workings of the video and stuff like that it was it was amazing it was it was so much fun it was very nostalgic.

Knock yourself out was groundbreaking yeah the legendary dive groundbreaking like it was like.

Oh yeah all right yeah.

It was when you boss up that's what you need at the house from the song i'm talking about from the rap right right to the track yeah yeah to the visual to you yeah it was it was a it was everything lined up it was a match made in heaven.

When i heard yeah what the fuck when i first heard the song i did not like it i know I wasn't a fan of the song when I first heard it. Now, obviously, I love it and I get it. I totally understand. But We Gonna Make It was the song that was out already.

That it goes into.

Yeah, yes. I assumed that that was going to be the video that they did. Everybody assumed that that was going to be the video that they did. But X was like, nah.

And it was.

I believe that it was also... Steve Stout was, you know... like they were choosing like the singles. And I think it was Steve that said, this is going to be the next single. And X was like, got it. And this is the treatment. And this is the girl. And they were like, yep, that's it. That's what's going to happen.

And it did. And so I heard the song and I was like, okay, I guess. I thought it was going to be, we going to make it, but whatever. And then the song like really like grew on me, unbeknownst to me, that it was going to be a massive, like a behemoth hit that still will, you know, like the minute it's played in a party, in a club, people lose their fucking minds. And they think about the video.

Yep. And they think about the video.

And then they think about the video.

That you still ain't told us what you got paid for. What did you get paid for that video?

I got paid 10 grand a day.

In a day.

Yeah. Yeah.

It's not, it's, listen, it's movie sets that they not get $ 10, 000 a day on. Like, just keeping it all the way smoking. Yeah. Like, work.

Yeah.

That was, that was worth. Yeah.

And here's the thing. I was so insecure. You don't understand what X had to do to get me into that bikini and to do the dive in the pool.

What?

I was so insecure. It was crazy. I look at that. I look at my... 21, 22 year old self with that body. And I want to slap the shit out of me because I'm like, do you know that you are literally life? Like the embodiment of life and sex. What is your, but I just, you know, overthinking it.

Yeah.

I was overthinking.

I was overthinking. I was like, Oh my God, my thighs are so thick. My butt is so big and whatever else standards of beauty. You listen, even though what's ironic about, being one of the women responsible for altering the standard of beauty as it was prior to that time, it was, it's, the irony is how insecure I was and how much I hated my body and wanted to be thinner. I wanted skinny knees. I wanted like slim shapely thighs. I, you know, I wanted to get some of this weight off the hips and this fucking ass, Jesus Christ. It's so, it's huge. And I mean, Yeah.

I mean, like I said, I'd like to slap the shit out of her, but.

And while all of this is happening, are you. How are you handling things from a business standpoint? Are you thinking differently or like in terms of like, are you thinking to yourself, oh, this is this in itself is a business?

No, not yet. OK, not yet.

I'm not thinking that this is a business yet, even though I have now moved to the US. I'm just kind of flying by the seat of my pants. Honestly, I'm flying by the seat of my pants. If this is a mistake, I'm young enough to make it. Let me just have a good fucking time while I'm doing it. And honestly, my intention was not to, you know, be the highest paid video model or to be the, the blueprint.

That was not my intention.

That kind of, Carves itself out in, you know, in within like myth is created by way of history.

You know what I'm saying?

So when you're in the middle of it, you don't have no idea.

You have no idea.

And also you got to also understand is I'm raised in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. I was not raised in the U.S. where it's like hypercapitalism and the almighty dollar and stuff like that. I didn't think, I just didn't think that way. I wasn't driven by- It wasn't your mindset. I wasn't driven by money and success. I just wasn't. It was just like, I'm young, I'm attractive. People want to work with me. And let me see, let me try and ride this until the wheels fall off. I did not know where this was going to go. No clue whatsoever.

When do the magazines start to come in? Because obviously, right there, most people just think of the work from the videos. Yeah. And the modeling on that side. But I'm talking about like, because at that stage, these magazines started to go crazy, like the King magazine, you know what I mean? And all those type of things. And obviously you had all the hip hop magazine, The Source and Vibe and all those things. But like King magazine was really a showcase for black beauty. You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Like, To me, it's my first memory of seeing Black Beauty, not in a Playboy way. You know what I mean? Obviously, y'all were in bathing suits and stuff, but it was really pushed toward the magazine side and the calendar. The calendar is worth a thing. The calendar is in King Magazine.

Yeah, so before King Magazine was Black Men's Magazine. That was around much longer. And they had started to hire different people that increased the aesthetic.

And the production value of the magazine itself.

Help sell it. Oh, yeah.

And they caught on earlier that. Men were very interested in knowing who was that girl in that video. And so they start, so they were the ones that first came knocking, you know, as a matter of fact, my first photo shoot was with for black men's magazine was with mystical and, and he missed his flight and the photographer, his name was chunk.

I I'll never forget him.

God, he was like an Asian, um, you know, uh, what was Mike Myers when he's, austin powers austin power yeah yeah he was like he was like an asian austin powers like click click click oh yes darling all that shit and i'm spent um like that was what he was fucking like and so i honestly i knew my way around a moving camera but i didn't know my way around still photography and so i'm like doing all these poses like And he was just like, can I make a suggestion? He was like, come here. And he would just feel it and just stretch and just elongate your body. And then I felt ridiculous doing what he was telling me to do. And then he showed me the pictures. I said, oh, shit.

I'm going to do two more.

And so just spending time with this Gay little Asian dude. He taught me about the craft, you know, the craft of modeling. And I developed an enormous amount of respect for it. And so when the editor saw these photos that we decided to take because, well, you know, since Mystical wasn't coming, we're like, fuck it, let's take some pictures of Melissa.

She's already dressed. He was just like, tell her she's got the next cover.

And yeah, and that was how the first cover happened. Happens. And the first cover of me on Black Men's Magazine, I have, like, the little Kim pose from Hardcore.

Oh, yeah, the squat thing.

Yeah, yeah. First time I saw that, I was getting off of a train. And remember in New York City, you know, you've got, like, the subway that used to have, like, these little newsstands inside of the subway. So you get off, there it is, and I see it, and I almost fell back on the train. I said, oh, my God, what the fuck? Fuck were they thinking?

So they didn't send you the proof. You didn't get to see nothing.

Are you crazy? No, no, no. But that taught me something about asking to see the fucking finals.

Yeah.

But I was I just was I was mortified.

I was mortified. But y'all loved it. And there began. And I guess there began the making of the myth. You know, because I want to say that this is even before Knock Yourself Out. So it comes, the magazine itself comes out around the same time that the video drops. So it's just like cover of a magazine, this groundbreaking fucking video, and I'm the only girl really in it.

It's just like, who the fuck is this bitch?

The moment is happening.

The moment's happening. And so from that moment, it was just like, it just, it was a tidal wave. of like requests to be here.

So are you doing all of that yourself though? Like you said, are you, are you taking in those requests yourself? Or now have you started the Melissa Ford Inc company of, of, you know, you got management or you got agents or you have anybody working with you?

Nobody had any fucking clue what to do with me.

So you know all this shit on your own. You answer the phone call.

Nobody, yeah. Nobody had any clue what to do with girls like me.

Like, It wasn't really a market yet.

There was no... All of these management companies that manage these IG models and OS girls. Y'all got it so easy in comparison to back then. Nobody... Everyone thought that this was just, like, a flash in the pan.

Like, it was going to go away, and that was it.

You know what I'm saying? Like, nobody had any, you know... this inkling that this, somebody could actually make a career out of this.

I sure as fuck didn't.

So again, I'm just still here riding shit till the fucking wheels come off, you know? And, you know, covers and, you know, covers became calendars. And then a company came in and they were like, we would like to do help you make merchandise. This comes, this, this happens a little bit later. This happens a little bit later, but yeah.

So Blackman's magazine happens. King is actually about to, you know, have their 25th anniversary, November 27th, 2001 is when King magazine premiered.

Yeah. Yeah.

So November 27th, this year will be 25 years for King. So King was kind of like... They should do an award show. I mean, there's a lot of stuff that they could and should do. But King magazine was basically kind of like a Maxim, you know, where they had the celebrity model on the cover and, you know, just.

Pictures of, you know, gorgeous women.

They had like an investigative piece. So there was real journalists actually writing in this magazine. And then just all of the mail from guys who were like overseas, like fighting, you know, these bullshit wars and stuff like that.

Niggas in jail. Exactly. And all the niggas in jail.

Don't leave it out.

No, no, no.

I was never going to leave out.

You got a lot of niggas who they big.

No, I know that.

You know what I mean? A lot of Melissa in cell block section.

Do you know how many times I'd be watching, what is it, Lock Up?

And I would see pictures of me on the wall.

It happened all the time. The shit was lit.

To this day.

Well, I mean, I don't watch Lock Up. lock up anymore, but I mean, I don't know.

I don't know.

It's very digital now. You know, they got cell phones in there and iPads and whatnot. So I have no idea how.

They're taking it to another level.

Yeah, I don't know if it's still the same thing. But yeah, no, never forget the guys in the pen.

Ever, ever.

I'm very clear on how many men I got that helped get through a bid.

Yeah.

Me and my cohorts. But yeah, so I still I still wasn't processed. So anyways, I was saying about King magazine, they got so much mail from men saying, yeah, these celebrity chicks are cool. The girl in that video, the girl in that video, the girl in that's who we want to see. And so that's why you start to see them move away from celebrity women.

And then they start to feature celebrities. video models.

And I don't know if we were the first, but I think that me and Gloria might have been the first.

It was a double cover.

Double cover.

Yeah.

I remember that.

It was a double cover.

Look at you being a collective.

And let me tell you something.

Did it do this?

Did you unfold it with your tongue? Oh, this nigga's wild! Oh, man.

I used to turn my photo shoots into fucking parties.

Yeah, I did.

So when does the when does the the name Jessica Rabbit?

So Jessica Rabbit, I actually was named Jessica Rabbit by a girl.

Hmm.

Yeah. I was working in Justin's, which was Puffy's restaurant.

Where's Justin's? Huh?

In New York? In New York.

Yes.

And when I first got to the States, I was illegal. So I had to find work under the table, which is cocktail waitressing, bartending, that sort of thing. And so I ended up meeting John Vasquez and, um, And he hired me to be a cocktail waitress. And one of the first cocktail waitress parties I did at Justin's was Whitney Houston's father's birthday party. And I remember I was wearing this long dress with a slit all the way up to my hip. And this girl was like, you know who you remind me of? You remind me of Jessica Rabbit. I was like, oh, thanks. That's cute. And I don't know. how. But from that moment on, the nickname stuck. I don't know if a bunch of people heard it or they just thought the same thing. And

then the second that I did an editorial with Black Men's Magazine and they wrote Jessica Rabbit. I was forever known as Jessica Rep. Some people just called me Jessica. And I was like, my name is Melissa. Okay, whatever. You know, no big deal.

I'm pretty sure I thought your name was Jessica.

Yeah.

Hi, Jessica.

And I'm like, it's Melissa, but it's okay.

It fits.

Yeah. It fits. Yeah, it fits. We also have these, you and I. Yeah. We got these things right here. We have these things. These two toofers.

Uh-huh, uh-huh.

I was like, when they said Jessica, I said, Jessica Rabbit.

Wow.

Yeah.

No, it fit.

Yeah, no, it fit. And I was all for, you know, being a caricature, you know? It made sense for me because it helped me inside my mind. separate me, Melissa, from the character that.

I was playing, the persona that I was portraying.

I was very clear, even from doing music videos, I was very clear. It was a clear boundary that I had too. Like when I'm in front of the camera, I'm her. I'm who you want me to be. I'm every man's fantasy.

I'm her.

The minute that shit stops rolling, I put on my fucking jogging pants. I take my fucking makeup off. I look like a janitor and I'm happy. You know what I'm saying? I'm very, a little more on the conservative side. You know, that's just me personally. I just know how to play the role. It's a character that I was playing.

And unfortunately, most people just didn't get that memo.

That's entertainment. Most people don't get the memo, period. I mean, if it's from... Recording artists, if it's from actors, actresses, whatever they fall in love with is who they believe you are. Yeah. No matter what.

Yeah.

You know what I mean? And it's just a part of it and how it goes.

Yeah.

On all aspects of the entertainment side of it. They think you remember certain things. Yeah. Or parts or all kinds of shit. Even just, even from the, you know, us having a podcast, like people bring up certain episodes to me and I'm like, I have no idea what you're talking about. Hey, what you mean? You don't remember when you said this? I just said something else. Nope. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Because. It's been 150 hours. Yeah. We're closing on 200. So it's like all of that stuff. But you start to realize, too, that people also have attached their lives. Yeah. To this form of entertainment. Yeah.

Yeah.

And, you know, I have respect for that. Absolutely. But it is, you know, obviously the podcast space is a little different, but.

Sometimes it would get scary. Yeah.

Oh, sure.

Like, as a woman, it could get very, very, very, very, very scary. Like, lots of stalking incidences.

Oh, for sure.

A lot of stalking. I can only imagine. Yeah, a lot of really, really weird fan mail. And, like, the shit that sucked is when they found out your home address so you'd get fan mail at your house. And it would be, like, dildos and condoms and all kinds of shit. I'm just like, I don't know what you want me to do with this.

Yeah.

You know?

That's the dark side of it.

Yeah. Yeah.

It could get gnarly sometimes.

Yeah. I remember when I first met you.

BB Kings.

At BB Kings. This would be a great segue. And, of course, I had seen the video and seen the magazines and I was very fond of you.

And when I met you and we talked.

I was like, she's different. Because I didn't expect that conversation from you. From Jessica Rabbit. From Jessica Rabbit. Right. I didn't expect that.

Yeah.

And I was like, am I tripping or is she really fucking smart? Yeah. Yeah. And that's what I was left with. When seeing you in person, I was like, oh, she's beautiful. She's mad. But that completely derailed any other thought. I was like, she's smart as fuck.

Yeah, I had difficulty with the assumption that I was not bright. I didn't understand why. And I just I just didn't understand why. Because, I mean, like beautiful and intelligent is honestly kind of dime a dozen in Toronto. Like it was what I was accustomed to. And so I just didn't understand why there was like this assumption that I wasn't bright. And so I was fucking pissed off.

I was like, fucking excuse me. And so when Smooth Magazine came along, like 2001-ish, 2002, something like that. And they wanted to do this feature a sexual relationship column and they were like yeah we want you to be like the model for that you know like Maxim had this ask Dr. Maxim and it was this hot chick in a you know doctor's coat in a bikini and they were they wanted me to be that and I said great I said can I write it too and they were like and I was like I can write like very well actually And they were like, you can read.

Yeah.

And so I don't think that they knew I could do that. You know, wait, hold on.

Oh, she reads.

But yeah, so they were like, you want to write it? I said, yes, I want to write it. I want I had something to prove, you.

Know, and something to say.

Yeah. And so then I wrote this article, you know, for it. And I think it was about like multiple orgasms or something like that. And when they read it, they were like, Melissa, we have to edit this because we're going to have to dumb this down a little bit.

I said, why?

He was like, because the average reader is not really going to understand ubiquitous melancholy, you know, like this. And I said, well, maybe it's their responsibility to rise to the occasion.

God damn it.

They weren't trying to rise that way. They were not. Yeah.

They weren't yeah and so I would write these pieces and then they'd go through an editing process and I would just have to like you know just just just just just push the bile down.

That's not how I said it. Exactly.

That just takes away the fucking attention. You're fucking with my art. And so, but nobody paid attention to that. They didn't believe I was the writer. So it backfired on my fucking ass. But I was published.

But then later we did, you know, just skipping forward, we did have those conversations where you were intentional about Making sure people understood the mind, the mind of Melissa Ford. Yeah. And then you start making moves. Yeah.

And that was it. So two things happening. One, I knew that I had to come out from, you know, being the silent movie star. And also, you gotta know when to take the exit ramp. before you get retired. You know what I'm saying? You have to know when it's time to take the exit ramp and move on to something else. And so around 2003 is when I started to really solicit BET for opportunities to be a television host. And Tigger was really instrumental in helping that happen, you know, introducing me to Stephen Hill at the time and Just kind of like getting me, you know, getting people like acclimated to me and whatnot. And it worked.

You know, they they saw that I was a really hard worker. They gave me opportunities, but they were like, get yourself there. Like Daytona for spring.

You know it.

And I paid my way there. I brought my own makeup artist. I got my own hotel. I showed up ready to work like from morning till night. Like I didn't complain whatsoever. They were like, oh, OK. All right.

She's she's serious.

And so 2004, I became one of the faces of BET. It was me, Free, AJ, and Tig. Like there was billboards of us and stuff like that.

That shit was lit.

So this was my way of like coming out from, you know, being that silent movie star, showing people that, you know, I could walk and talk and chew gum at the same time. And then also me kind of understanding. I'm like, so I really actually can use videos as a stepping stone because that became like such a common phrase.

I'm just using this as a stepping stone.

And I... You actually did.

I actually did. I actually did it.

So so this is also kind of adding layer to, you know, the the myth behind, you know, the myth and like the the legend, if you will. You know, this is this is how it was done. This is the blueprint of it all.

You know, radio as well.

I did radio. When did that happen? Like 2007, I ended up on Sirius.

Yeah.

And that was because I wanted to take the visual away from everybody. I wanted people to get used to my voice, just my voice. I didn't want them to be able to be distracted by the visual. I wanted to be able to run interviews and show people that I had that ability to not be the star. focus on somebody else, you know, and run interviews and ask and, you know, ask compelling questions and storytell, if you will.

And just, you know, just develop a new muscle.

I was just trying to create, develop like an arsenal of of, you know, things that I could employ with absolutely no, like, training. Like, no classical training in anything, you know? I ain't going to broadcasting school.

Was there a North Star for you? Like, somebody that you were looking to, to kind of... emulate that space.

I definitely had idols, like people that I thought were like, you know, cream of the crop. I've always had this, I've always had this, you know, if you're going to get involved in a craft, study who the best is. You better, you better study that craft, study who the best is, but also study all the, the, the mechanisms behind it as well, you know? And so when it came to, you know, television broadcasting and then also radio, um, There's just there's great, you know, in New York City, Angie Martinez, like she is the voice of of New York.

She like Angie is like on my Mount Rushmore. She just she she's so fire in so many different ways. And one of those ways is just her kindness. You know, she just she she doesn't want to be responsible for crushing anybody's dreams. And she is a master. She is masterful when it comes to interviewing people. and making them feel really uncomfortable being vulnerable.

And that's, that is a gift.

And so obviously at the time, Oprah was the queen of talk shows. So Oprah was like a, just, just literally like watching masterclass every single day and just kind of learning just her interview style and, you know, how she would, you know, how she would interview certain guests, press on the gas and, you know, ease up on it.

Howard Stern, even though I didn't like his content, he was like top of the food chain. He was really good at clickbait before we understood what clickbait was.

Yeah.

So, you know, so these are some of the, these are some of the people that like, I just kind of studied, you know, and also, Anderson Cooper, Bill Curtis, Christian Amanpour. These were like, yeah, like, you know, the geek side of me. These were like my these were my idols. These are the people that I looked up to that I thought were like the just the greatest, you know?

Yeah. And. Going back to like, okay, your beauty got you somewhere and then you end up here. Was that always the goal in the beginning with you going to school and paying your way through? Was it always in this communication space? Yeah, what did you major in?

I'm not kidding.

I wanted to study serial killers.

My idol was John Douglas, the man who started the behavioral science unit in Quantico, Virginia. OK, that was who that's my idol. Like I, John Douglas, if there's a chance that you're watching this, somebody send the fucking clip. I love you and I really like to interview you, but I also want to be your friend.

So.

I could talk about serial killers and like the depraved mind all fucking day.

We're best friends now.

It's like my, it's my Superbowl. Okay. So I took a massive left turn into entertainment or did I, you know, cause there's quite, you know, a lot of people with depraved minds and this, there's that.

Yeah.

So, so yeah, no, what E didn't equal MC square in this whole situation. This is just happenstance happenstance. But I think that there was always an aspect. The fact that I started reading really early and I really devoured a lot of fictional work, I started to understand without understanding the art of storytelling, you know? And one of my favorite authors is Mitch Albom.

Who is just... He is the goat when it comes to just.

Taking the human condition and the human experience and writing a story that I don't care where you come from, what race you are, what ethnicity, what nationality, or what your belief system is, you will find yourself identifying with the characters in his book. And so he's just, he's one of my all-time favorite authors. Tuesdays with Maury for Just One More Day, The Five People That You Meet in Heaven. Like I've read these books several times. So I go between reading John Douglas serial killer shit to Mitch album, like it soothes the soul kind of thing, you know? And so I guess while all this is happening, I'm absorbing it all. And then just it's, I'm, I'm, it's translating within me. And then it, and then it

comes out through my own specific way of storytelling. So I think that I was always going to end up podcasting.

I was really early.

Yeah.

Fairly.

Yeah.

I mean, because, Obviously, over the last probably five years, it's really turned.

Into a pandemic. It's a real occupation for people.

You know what I mean? But you were doing it before it was that.

Yeah, 2016.

Yeah.

2016 is when I started podcasting. Jason Lee and I, he wanted to do a podcast, another vertical of Hollywood Unlocked. He wanted to do a Hollywood Unlocked Uncensored podcast. And I was over living in New York. I have done the move between New York and L.A. four times. OK, over the last 26 years. Yes.

Back and forth, back and forth. So I've spent about.

Collectively maybe about 13 years in LA and the rest of those years I've spent in New York and so I was just like all right I'm moving LA let's do this and we we just kind of hit the ground running you know we had.

It just it was a it was a really really really really.

Good show great chemistry great guests great guests with great stories I mean to this day you are you are like top I want to say top two. Top two episodes. You and Jennifer Lewis.

That's good company. That's great company.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

You and Jennifer Lewis were my all time.

And I did.

I was there for four years. You two were my favorites.

Oh, wow.

Yeah. Yeah. I was.

Yo, your fucking story.

We're going to get in trouble. We're going to talk about that shit. We're not going to talk about it. But that shit was. I was crying because I'd never heard it before. But anyways.

Yeah.

So podcasting since. 2016 and just kind of like just seeing the machinations, you know, like how it's how it's done and how it grows and and that sort of thing. And then feeling like I got to do my own because there's just stuff I want to talk about. You know, Barbara Walters is also kind of on my, you know, my Mount Rushmore list. And she did this thing every single year called the 10 most fascinating people.

Or something like that.

Right.

And they didn't always, they weren't always celebrities.

Sometimes they were just like philanthropists or just regular people that did extraordinary things. And, and I wanted to do that with my podcast. I wanted to interview people who either existed on the fringe of society or did really, really weird things professionally that you'd never heard of. And now that you know, you can't unknow it kind of thing.

So it's like, I went from interviewing like a sex trafficking recovery expert to a former porn star, Mr. Marcus, to a death doula before anybody even knew.

What death doulas were.

You know what a birth doula is?

Yes.

Okay. It's the opposite. She helps you go out.

Okay. Yeah.

She sets the stage.

If you are lucky enough to die by way of old age or, you know, you know when it's happening, you're terminal. And so you can plan what your death scene is going to look like. If you're fortunate enough to have that, she helps you plan the death scene. And so maybe you want to be at a lakefront cottage and you want these family members and friends. She helps facilitate the energy there. And makes everybody understand, like, you can have time with them, but you have to honor that everybody else needs time because... you know, you may miss this person, but they're losing everybody.

So do you hit them with, gotta go?

All right, wrap it up, motherfucker. Wrap it up. But yeah, so her name was Elua Arthur and she came along at the perfect time for me because I was going through my own set of like, you know, sense of mental anguish because my mom was terminal. She hadn't passed away just yet. But, you know, there was a part of me that was not accepting it. And then there was a part of me that was like just already grieving and I was a fucking mess. And she, she really was like a form of therapy for me. And so I like to have episodes with and feature people like that where other, where people who watched it, maybe answers, you know, they, they got answers from questions that they didn't even know that they needed posed. You know, it

was my, it was my least watched episode because I mean, when you're doing an episode on death, people are like, oh yeah, fuck that.

They don't want to feel that.

But the people who watched it wrote dissertations as the comments because it had touched them so much because they saw themselves in this episode and because it just it answered questions for them, you know, and so I was really proud of this podcast. I called it I'm here for the food. The title is loosely based on my dating life. But you're just going to skate over that one.

No, I mean, listen. We're not. Because I think on both sides of that, the man and the woman side of that, sometimes you have to realize that, hey, we just came to eat. I mean, sometimes, yeah. Enjoy that. Sometimes you don't enjoy who you're eating with.

That's a fact.

Right? So sometimes you just came for the food. Hopefully the food is good.

You ain't good, but this food is good.

You know what I'm saying?

That is a fact.

That is something that is real in a dating world.

It is great.

You don't have a chance, but this food is getting in.

That's right. Oh, and I'm getting a to-go bag.

I'm getting a to-go bag. Oh, yeah.

I'm going to get lunch out of this tomorrow.

From the podcast standpoint, right? Mm hmm. Do you enjoy more because you've done both?

Yeah.

And all things like do you like to do it, you know, singular by yourself or do you like the ensemble cast thing? Like, yeah, there's a different.

That's an excellent question. That is a fucking excellent question. Let me tell you something. Podcasting on your own is fucking hard. It's hard. It is so difficult because, first of all, you are very reliant on guests. Not all of us are like, you know, Candace Owens, who can just talk and talk and talk. Granted, she got a teleprompter, and this is no way, shape, or form was props.

But it takes a certain kind of personality to be like, yeah, I'm it. I'm just going to do this on my own. Because you are heavily reliant on guests. or your ability to be just loquacious all the fucking time. With co-hosts and ensemble casts, yeah, the pressure is a lot lighter, you know, because sometimes you could just have an episode just with your co-host and you just banter back and forth.

And sometimes the audience likes that even more than.

When you have a guest.

But the problem is, if shit gets wonky between the co-hosts and stuff like.

That, then you Yeah.

Yeah. That's that's when that's when it gets real fucking complicated, you know, for whatever reason. Things get things get wonky and then, you know, shit gets leveraged. And then the the the show that people have come to rely on and the chemistry they've come to rely on. Now it's fractured. And now what are you going to do? You know, it gets really complicated. As a matter of fact, like.

on Hollywood Unlocked Uncensored, we went through that. You know, the first co-host that we had kind of flamed out in the first, you know, within like the first six to eight episodes, maybe even less. And so I, my suggestion was let's do a rotating chair. You know, we want to get this person who comes into this third chair to earn it. And also, let's get the audience to participate in the decision.

Like, who do they like for us?

Who do they like, you know, how we interact with one another? And that ended up being extremely successful. You know, so I would say that I like it both ways. When it's just me, I know I'm relying on myself. And I'm going to show up for myself. But, man, when you have the right co-host, it's magic.

Yeah.

It really is.

It really is magic.

Yeah.

It's magic and it's fun and work doesn't feel like work.

Absolutely. Yeah. He's pretty good. He's really good.

You guys got a.

Really cute thing going here.

He's pretty dumb, what he does.

I like him. That's got a really cute thing. I know. Thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, but with I'm Here for the Food, it hit the ground running and then... My mom was diagnosed with cancer and then pandemic hit and the fucking world just went fucking crazy. And then my mom passed away and I was like, yep, can't do this. I need I need a break to lose my mind for a while. And so I put it on hold indefinitely, whatever that meant.

I just I didn't know if I was I felt like there's going to be a point in time at which I pick it back up. I just don't know when and I just don't know what the circumstances were. So I had to go through hell for a little while. And hell looked like the intersection of grief and perimenopause.

Fuck.

It was hot. Yeah.

Hence the name Hot Modern. That was hot.

I don't know. I was.

I was practically drowning in sweat when I go to sleep every night. It was fucked up. Okay. It was horrible. So bad. Yeah, I know. So when I finally bring it back in November of 2024, it's a new iteration of I'm here for the food. I've grown a lot, like quantum leaps in terms of you know, just everything that I've learned, like your mom dies, it cracks your whole soul open and just alters the course of your life.

And so just, I, first of all, the main tent pole is women's sexual health and wellness. I was just like, I'm Gen X. I'm going through perimenopause. I'm fucking angry. I'm enraged by everything. So I'm going to talk about it. And women are going to feel this. And so there's that mental health, obviously, because I've really gone through living hell with my grief. And I know that that's something that just affects all of us, no matter male, female, no matter who you are. Mental health is something that affects all of us. And then also, I found myself really confused by the fact that I was enjoying aging more.

I was like, wait a minute.

That was confusing to you?

No, society tells women we're not supposed to.

I think society tells everyone.

No, no, no, no, no. Y'all get salt and pepper. We get gray. Y'all get character lines. We get fucking wrinkles. Y'all get distinguished. We get old.

No, no.

Society does not tell us the same fucking thing.

I'm telling you. I don't think these old niggas is distinguished at all. Oh, no, I'm here.

To tell you there is very few distinguished niggas.

These niggas ain't distinguished.

Very few. They think they are.

Take that cardigan off.

Very few, but.

Niggas think they dead fresh.

But, seriously, you're not George Clooney. Fuck you. But, I just found myself like, I really don't hate what's happening. And I was so confused by it because you're told you're supposed to hate it. You're supposed to fight it with every ounce of your being and every last breath in your body. And I was like, now I'm sinking deeper into the fucking bath of unapologeticness. Nah, fuck that.

I love it here. I love it here. Oh, I got a little roll underneath my fucking boobs. Oh, well, it's a shelf.

I don't give a fuck.

You put snacks on it.

Yes, I do.

I do. I do.

I'm like, let me just rest this little Tootsie Roll right here.

Why was I about to say Tootsie Roll? I figured that was there.

I'm just going to lift this up. I'm going to put that right there. And I'm going to get it later.

Is it a flavored Tootsie Roll? I'm going to get it later. It's wild. Because you got to let it get warm and soft. Right. That's like being at church. Because she all asked for the candy. What you got? It's soggy. Got a little.

Swedish fish and that shit is that. That's gummy now.

A lot of it is still on the wrapper. And it's always warm. You got to bite the wrapper a little bit. Man, shit.

Yeah.

No, but it's just like I found myself just really like enjoying this process. I was like, I got to call this something. And I said, I'm a pro-aging advocate.

Hmm. Aging advocate. Pro-aging advocate.

A pro-aging, because I found that there were so many women like me, but it wasn't being broadcast just yet. It wasn't being taught. It was being talked amongst our group. But to me.

It wasn't being advocated.

Here's the thing. To me, it was an act of rebellion. It was an act of rebellion. It was defiant. And yeah, I like it.

But it's freedom for those who are now able to have the conversation or enjoy the conversation because you're standing in front of it.

Yeah.

And you know, when you are, when you are the pioneer of something and I know something about being a pioneer of a lot of shit, boy, you're, you're the frontline soldier. So you get a lot of fucking shit thrown at you and whatnot. And you know, people are like, why are you always talking about being single and having no kids and never being married? I'm like, because it's revolutionary to talk about this as a woman, you were, you were relegated to, uh, you know, a shack in the woods with a bunch of fucking cats and shut the fuck up. You know what I mean? Like, you know, just be silent and go off into the quietly off into the nights kind of thing. But when you see women like Regina Hall and Tracy Ellis Ross and Dolly Parton,

she got married, but she never had children. Like there's just so many women who nurture the world in a, in a much different way with a greater love, a great, a more expansive, uh, sense of freedom to do that because of those life choices. You know, it is refreshing to hear. And, you know, for those of you whose ears are delicate and you find it offensive, then just turn the dial down. I'm not, we're not talking to you, but there are people that we are talking to, you know, and they need to hear this because shit. I mean, if I got married at the age where you're supposed to get married, my picker was fucking terrible. My picker was terrible.

You didn't? You didn't? No. You couldn't see him?

Hormones blinded me, okay? That's what makes us procreate with y'all. Y'all, y'all, we are representing groups here. No, I mean, my picker in my 20s and 30s was terrible, but I think everybody's is.

What the fuck do we know about ourselves?

We don't know shit about ourselves. We don't know shit about ourselves. The things I know about myself now, if I could apply that to my 20-year-old self or 30-year-old self, then yeah, I probably would make better decisions.

Yeah, but it doesn't, it just doesn't get you here.

It doesn't get you there.

It doesn't get you. And every path is different. Yeah. Because on the other side of that, there are certain people who they got there earlier.

Yeah.

Or they feel they did. Yeah.

You know what I mean?

So they made those decisions differently. You know what I mean? So I'm one of those people that looks at things as there's more than one way. Yeah. You know, there's more than one way and it doesn't bother me at all when I speak to an advocate for either side of it. You know what I mean? I'm just like, oh, I understand. I hear you.

You know what I mean?

So, and I'm, I commend you for standing on what you stand on. You know what I mean? And I'm very respectful of that because I just think that we're not going to all do this life the same. Yeah. We're just not. You know what I mean?

When I see marriages where... where the couple are clearly friends. Clearly friends. Like, they like each other. They are buddies. They don't just love each other. They haven't decided just to do this thing called life with each other and create progeny and whatever else. They really like each other.

No, like is different.

Like is what they put you together.

It's more powerful. Not even more powerful. More important.

Yeah, that's what I mean. More important.

To me, I'm like.

Because love can quickly turn to hate.

And love can, so love is I'll show up to your funeral, but I might not show up to your birthday. Like is I'm going to show up to both. Cause I like the person you are. Yeah. I want to be around you. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Everybody might say, oh yeah, you know, I got to go to the funeral.

Yeah.

You don't got to go to the birthday party. Yeah. You don't got to celebrate people in that way when they can still have a conversation with you. You got to like people to be in that. So to be in relationships, I always believe that like is actually more important than love to me.

Yeah. And it, and I didn't get that memo really early on. I didn't, you know, I mean like, you know, I mean, first of all, look at the, look at the fucking, the floodgates were open just in terms of who was trying to get at me analysis paralysis much. You know what I'm saying? Like what the fuck, how was I supposed to make a decision? It was my God. Um, and it was like every walk of life, you know, it's, it's, I mean, I went based off of, I mean, he fine as fuck and like that kind of thing. I'm pretty, he's fine. We look good together. And like, you know, like.

It should work.

It should work. You know, the chemistry, the chemistry was off the charts and stuff like that. But, That's not relationships. Relationships are, like, it's the banal moments that if you survive those with each other and survive it with, like, you know, levity, you're going the fucking distance, you know?

And it's hard to prep. It's hard to prep for what's coming.

Are we ever, are we even prepped? How many of us are coached on what a great relationship looks like, feels like, sounds like?

How many of us?

But not even about a great relationship.

A healthy relationship. I should say a healthy relationship.

But how you even deal with people and how you let people deal with you. Yeah. Right? I think I'm going through it with, I have a boy and a girl. Mm-hmm. And I have conversations with them, very open and honest conversations from a parent standpoint of like, listen, I'm going to tell you how it is. Mm-hmm. what you take from it is how you take from it. And hopefully I can be part of your conscience because I think sometimes when we're moving in these spaces, the highs are so high that you, if you don't have a conscience and it's, it's not something in your mind to me, it's just my opinion. There's not something in your mind telling you that's not good for you.

Yeah.

Or this person has shown you a sign or a flag and you're not prepped to understand that, yo, if it's these things, it's certain, it's certain little things that, For me as a parent, I'm going to always say, hey, so this is what I believe is a sign. If you see that, maybe you go another way. Now, if you follow that or not, it's up to you. But I do want to prep my children. My son is a young man now, but my daughter is still a child.

But having those conversations with them, it's like, yo, if you see this, you might want to.

Yeah, I mean, like, the first thing, you know, the first experience, you know, or example of marriage that I really had was domestic violence. And I'm five. And I'm trying to process this.

Nope.

Fuck process I'm trying to split them up you know and I'm a little girl and my parents were big motherfuckers my dad Caribbean thick neck looking like a fucking fullback my thought my mother give her a hat with horns and a fucking shield and send her out to battle she was a viking the it was clash of the titans when these two would kick off and I'm five this tiny little thing trying to split them up And so things happened. My personality developed in a way or, you know, things about my my personality developed in a way like people pleasing developed because I was trying to keep the peace in the house. I felt like it was my responsibility. That is a horrible, horrible thing to like for a child to feel like is their responsibility.

They just, you know, it's like another form of prison, you know, and then I have to weather the storm of their tumultuous marriage and the humiliation rituals I witnessed. So if this is the first thing that I have seen as an example of marriage.

Yeah.

And sure, my godmother and her husband, they had a wonderful relationship, but I didn't get to see that every day. And it almost looked like I didn't even know how to process that because that was not my reality.

And then my girlfriends in high school.

The majority of them were, you know, from single parent households. You know, their fathers weren't really there. And my other one of my best friends, her household was cold as fuck where my parents would beef and fight. Her parents like were act like two ships passing in the fucking night. And you could just feel how frigid it was. This was this was all I saw. You know, I I couldn't like the Cosby show.

I was like. I'd never seen anything like that before.

Where are these humans?

Like, exactly. Who are these fucking people? Like, is this real?

And then you get to America. That was bullshit on TV. Queens. Queens is where we were from.

Right.

So it's just like, it's still like, I was just like, oh, this is TV. This is fictional. This can't be real.

But.

I damn sure wanted to know a Claire Huxtable. I wish I'd had a version of Claire Huxtable in my life as a child or even a young teenager or even as a young adult.

So I get to the States.

Who's my mentor? Who's looking after me? Two suitcases, one-way ticket at $ 25.

That was how I got to the States.

By myself. Who was looking after me? Who was showing me the way? Who was saying what to do, what not to do? Don't date that motherfucker. Date that motherfucker.

Nobody.

I had to figure.

I was figuring everything out.

Because you walk straight into everybody wanting something from you. yeah and figuring out how to leverage that whether it be.

Money not even not even that was not the first thing leveraging was not the first idea it was just survival you know shit and shit got like fucking gnarly like i almost kidnapped me one time like just you know i don't and they were throwing gifts at me that was so weird just wanting to give me phones and money and condos one guy literally said I will rent you a condo I just want to come by and watch you masturbate.

Yeah he liked you a lot you Hold on.

I didn't do it.

He was trying to turn you into an OnlyFans model.

Early.

A cam girl.

Yeah. Yeah.

Early. I was just like, you're disgusting and absolutely fucking not.

No, no, no.

So yeah. I mean, it's just like, so how was I, where was, where was I going to develop my picker? How, how was I developing my picker? Where was I developing my picker?

It was all trial and error.

It was all trial and error. It was all trial and error, you know, and, Yeah.

But I mean, again, from that, you get here. And now to me, it feels like, you know, as you speak about your platform and the things that you want to cover, you know what I mean? The things that you want to give to the world. It's all a result of all of these things that in the moment don't feel beautiful.

It's all the things that I wanted. I wanted somebody to help me with. It's all the things that I wanted somebody to help me with. So now that I'm in a position where I have a platform, where I have made these quantum leaps in you know, personal development and the self-awareness and just, just internal growth, all I want to do is just like pass on this wisdom, you know, and just, and, and be of service, just give it away, you know?

And cause it's, I, it's very rewarding.

It's very rewarding when people you know, young, younger women stop me and they tell me the effect that seeing me in music videos and then watching my transition through all different, the genres of, of, of, of entertainment and also kind of like have a sense of integrity through the entire thing. Not always just like be at the opening of a fucking envelope and shit like that. Not always being on the scene and always being on this guy's arm and that guy's arm and being like, you know, and wrapped up in scandal and shit like that. Like when people come up to me, they tell me they really appreciate it. And they, you know, take a tiny page out of that book. They think about that. And I think that that's wonderful.

That's okay.

I did it. I did it.

I did it.

It feels really good.

Good job, Mel. We're the livid, Mel. The pivot has been amazing to watch. Yes.

Pivot with a capital P. Let me tell you something. Black women, if there's something that we know how to do, it is to pivot with a capital P. And we do it just effortlessly.

Yeah.

Looking that way, at least.

Yeah. Well, we got to make you put a little bit more effort into it. It's about to get tough for you. It's about to get tough for you. I hope you're prepared with a capital P.

Okay, I'm in menopause.

My brain's not working properly.

What did she say?

I said I'm in menopause.

My brain's not working properly.

Go ahead. Let's try this.

Because it's hot.

I'm going to do my best.

Try to leave the door open. Melissa Ford. Through your various car rides in the black and white cars. You've heard some tunes. What tunes? Some R & B tunes. Tunes. And the people want to know. What do they want to know, Chief? They want to know your. Sorry about that.

Top five.

You're top five. Top five. You're top five. R & B singers. Oh, bring it home. Bring it home.

Your top fire.

Yeah.

Talented with a capital G. Come on now.

Have you ever done stand-up?

Yes.

You have?

Okay, good.

I was going to say, like, and I have never been to a show, obviously.

Oh, yeah.

So now I need to. I'll kick back up, yeah, yeah.

Okay. I'm listening for it.

You are so fucking funny.

You're too. God damn.

I have a couple of stories I want to tell you guys about this motherfucker here.

You're, we're not, you're a top five.

No, no, no, you're going to love them.

Okay, good one.

You're going to love them.

You're a top five R & B singers.

Okay, so first of all, fuck y'all for making me answer this fucking question. I know everybody, they really get mad at you guys for making you do this, right?

Because this is impossible.

Tell us your damn five.

Huh?

Don't cuss us out. Tell us the five.

All right, hold on one second.

You can go to your phone.

I am.

Hold on, I got to put the fucking readers on.

Oh, the readers. Oh, yeah. Advocate for the readers. Come on. Shit. Shit. Okay.

Here we go.

Team readers.

Here we go.

Rube got the team readers.

This was painful.

Okay.

This was painful.

Is the text big too?

No, I refuse.

I refuse.

I'm still kind of small.

Okay. Yeah.

Okay. I feel like this is interchangeable. I just had to come up with something. I'm just, this is going, this is solely on impact.

Impact.

It's impact.

That's it. Like. Your impact on you.

The impact on me, the length of time, the timelessness of the music, the decades that they have occupied being great. Yeah.

So I guess that, I guess, I guess that's it. So shot.

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

I'm prefacing this by saying I refuse to acknowledge Michael Jackson and Prince are not even in this conversation.

Okay.

They're not. They are in a pantheon in and of themselves.

All alone.

They cannot.

Yes.

Because then it's just them.

Okay. Fair.

So no Michael Jackson and Prince.

Okay. Sade. Yes.

I mean, come on now.

There's nothing.

Yep.

Yeah. Sade.

D'Angelo.

Hmm. Yes. I'm sorry.

My list is going to be quite boring.

No, no, no. Don't you do this. Don't you do this. Okay. Okay. You know where you at? Okay. All right.

Okay.

Okay. Okay.

Okay.

That's exciting already. Luther. Hmm. Luther.

Yeah.

Luther.

Joe Decky.

Hmm.

Impact. Impact.

I almost lost my virginity.

Listen, we know. We heard. Buffalo.

We heard.

Yeah.

I just had a little romantic interlude not too long ago where I ran that shit back.

Yay, run back. Well, Beyonce said it was a little too wide.

You didn't think it was going to fit.

Yeah, we're not having those problems no more.

Okay. Truck fit. Okay.

Okay.

Maxwell. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

Absolutely. That's a great top five.

Yeah.

For right now. Impact. It's a great impact five.

It's a great impact five. And, you know, and I could give all the reasons. Maxwell makes this list because. He comes out with his first album that has Ascension and Urban Hangsweet, right? Urban Hangsweet, yeah. And he sucks us all in. You know what I mean?

We're just like, oh shit.

And then his next fucking album, he completely switches everything the fuck up on us with Embria. That to me says, first of all, I'm him. And y'all are just going to... Like, a new artist coming out like that and just changing up his sound with the next album after we've all decided, you know, or feel like you've introduced us in this certain way. And Embria, first of all, people, a lot of people hated it at first. It's one of those albums you listen to now or, like, as time has gone on, you're just like, this.

Nigga was a fucking genius. This nigga was a genius.

I love. Like, and then he came out with, was it Now?

His third album?

Yeah, it was.

Okay, you tell me. Yeah, I think so. Okay. Yeah.

And then he went right back to it, but it just, wow.

Just, just, yeah.

Just impact.

I know where all this music is going.

Yeah, just impact.

Okay. Your top five R & B songs.

Okay, so I also have to say this too, okay?

All right. There's categories. Last night I was sweating, okay? I was making this list.

And you're sure it was just about the list?

It was both things.

It was a hot flash and it was a fury at what you guys were forcing me to do. Because I was like, all right, so there's the Blue-Eyed Soul crew. There's Hall & Oates, Michael McDonald, George Michael, Bobby Caldwell, Tina Marie, Mary Gibbs, Simply Red, Bill Collins, John B. Like, are you fucking serious?

Top 99.

You want me to pick out five fucking songs?

We... We know you have white, dog.

I know you don't represent for your people.

I get it. I get it. You just went on a white rant.

No, because they are, when they ate.

The white niggas is cold, for sure.

When they sang, you didn't know they were white until you saw their picture. You're like, get out of here.

Get out of here. It's true.

You know, then we got my teenage mint condition, Jodeci after seven, intro guy, SOS man.

Wait, and hold on.

And I will die on this hill. Some people will probably want to shoot me in the street for saying this, but intro, ribbons in the sky, better cover than the original.

Oh, shit. I'm sorry. No, listen, music is subjective. Music is subjective.

And that's what you believe. I also think that Otis Redding's cover of Change Gonna Come is better than Sam Cooke.

You're going to keep going.

Those are the only, those are the controversial.

I'm trying to get you to put down the shovel. You don't see my eyes.

Okay.

All right.

Top five songs. Top five songs.

Oh God, this was hard.

Okay. Top five songs. Subject to change. Subject to change, okay? This could be different tomorrow. But this is impact. Impact, impact, impact. It's like the first time I heard the song Sledgehammer to the face.

Frank Ocean's Bad Religion.

I just heard that the other day. Yeah, yeah. Great record. Love. Great record.

First time I heard it, I was bawling. I was crying.

First of all, I feel like that's how it came out. And secondly, It just, you know, what's what's the how does it go? Unrequited love. It's something about like it's it's like cyanide in my styrofoam cup. It's like being a cult of one or something like that. It's just it's just the song is just sheer fucking brilliance. And that was hard because Pyramids is literally one of like if I was to do a list of the hundred greatest songs ever, Pyramids is going to be on that list for me.

Okay.

Cause that song is just, it's, it's like Bohemian Rhapsody. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like just how, just the, the, the galaxies it takes you through kind of thing. Raheem Devon, you, I remember where I was. I'm January 30th, 2006.

I was in Detroit.

It was super bowl. The Pittsburgh Steelers were playing the Seattle Seahawks. Yeah. Pittsburgh took it 21, 10 that year. I will never.

That's how music's supposed to make you feel. Yes.

And he had just dropped The Love Experience. And that album was playing. And I said, what the fuck is this sorcery? And then I heard You. And that song, what, like, is it like 20 years now?

Something like that?

Yeah.

Still to this day, when I hear You.

I'm with you on that.

In a parallel universe, that was a song I walked down the aisle to.

Yes.

All right. Temptations.

Papa was a rolling stone.

Mm-hmm.

There is no... The car rides. I can't think of a song intro that is more powerful. I mean, that shit seeped into my bones, you know? And then when he starts singing that gravelly voice. Oh, my little I didn't even know what to do with myself. I was like five or six first time I'm hearing this song.

Tony, Tony, Tony, whatever you want.

OK, now. All right. Raphael Sadiq just did a one man show and I did not know what the hell to expect. I thought I was going to a concert. And he's on the stage and there's these big screens behind him.

I'm an NJ pack.

And then he starts talking about, yeah, I was supposed to be an abortion. I said, well, what's happening here?

The fuck is happening here?

The real. Yeah.

And so then I realized that this was going to be a one man show about the story of his life through songs, not just his own songs, but the songs that were the soundtrack of his early life. And whatever you want. That song, first of all, the fact that y'all have sampled it is blasphemy, but I'll just skate on by that.

That's part of it.

The songs that you just don't touch.

Rest in peace to the OG man, Dwayne Williams.

So when he starts talking about that song, he has Dwayne's guitar on a stand just in the middle of the stage, and then he goes over to the piano. And he was like, Dwayne used to like to put this stick of incense in his guitar when he played. And he was like, I fucking hated that smell.

You know?

And Rafael's so charismatic and so charming and so funny. We all knew that we were about to start fucking balling. So you just laugh it up, you know? And what they did was instantly like, he was like, but now that's the smell. I love that smell. And he goes over to the piano and a spotlight drops. And it's just, all you see is like the smoke of the incense wafting up to the ceiling. And then the big screens behind just start showing pictures of Dwayne over the course of his life while he's performing.

And then he's on the piano singing whatever you want.

And then when he gets to the chorus, you know, about, you know, the number and Dwayne, you know, how's that?

My name is Dwayne. We told him too. And my name is Dwayne. Yeah, exactly.

Exactly.

He repeats it over and over.

And we're all singing it.

And he repeats it over and over and over.

And as he's repeating it, it's the heaviness of that loss just fills the room.

And.

You just start hearing people sniffling and just sobbing. And it was breathtaking and beautiful and tragic all at the same time. And I fell in love with that song all over. I never stopped loving it, but now I had even more context. It was just so beautiful. And I just, I tipped my hat to Raphael for that performance because it's one of those things that, Or I walked out of there thinking like, I'm so glad that I'm alive and I got to see that, you know?

Yeah.

Will you guys let me have like a couple more than fine? Okay. How am I?

Okay.

Frank Ocean. Okay.

Okay.

So here's the thing. Michelle and Degicello.

Love song number three. Has anybody ever said Michelle and Degicello up here?

I think so.

I feel like they have.

Yeah. Okay.

If y'all have not heard Love Song number three, please play that. Please play that. I was like, that guitar solo?

Yeah, she's extremely special.

Yeah.

So I added that late.

Okay.

But originally I'd had Sade Bulletproof Soul. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

And then I was like, No Ordinary Love, Bulletproof Soul.

Fuck y'all. Yeah. Yeah. Jesus.

I just, I was so furious.

And so then I couldn't like add like Zoom by the Commodores, which is, I mean, you know, that song is like a pillow and a blanket.

I just love that song.

So warm and cozy.

We don't have so many songs we love. Okay.

All right. I'm sorry.

Okay.

All right.

Let's do it. All right. We're done. No, so look. Let's make a Voltron.

Okay.

Okay. You're a super R & B artist. Where are you going to get the vocal from, performance style, styling, and passion of that artist?

Okay.

So wait, I had Voltron as voice producer, style, and passion.

Well, fuck it then. Voice. Yeah. Okay.

So boy, what was your way?

We're going to run them off because I'm not a producer. Voice. What voice? One voice.

Voice? I had... Let me see here.

Again, I had Maxwell.

I had.

I had Maxwell.

I just.

There's something about the way that he. His voice control... There's the way that he goes from his falsetto, which never sounds strained. It just sounds feathery and light. And then he can go into a lower register and it get like that grainy sounds like that just sounds like sex. And so it just, it was, it was, it was, it was, yeah, I chose, I chose that.

Performance style on stage.

Performance style.

Okay.

Performance style. Put that one at the end. We're going to put that one at the end.

Styling.

D'Angelo when he was with the Vanguard.

Hmm.

Okay. Yeah, man. Cool shit. Okay. Passion of the artist. Who means it?

Jill Scott.

Absolutely means it.

Yeah.

She's out to Jilly.

Jill Scott.

She mean every word.

Jill Scott.

My dog. Yeah.

When she was the headliner at Roots Picnic a couple of years ago, every man was singing every song word for word.

Absolutely.

I was like, oh, so you guys do have a little, you're in touch with your emotions.

Okay. All right. It just depends on who's saying it.

You fucking assholes.

Okay. And now we're going to circle back.

Wait, I had producer.

Producer. No ID. No ID. I like no idea a lot. Yes, I do. A scientist. Yes. I like him a lot.

Yes.

And you want to know why I chose him?

Why?

Because of the magic that motherfucker makes with James Fauntleroy, that crazy motherfucker.

Hmm.

James, why do you do that to us?

Too crazy.

Okay, ladies.

Two crazy motherfuckers. Okay. Yeah.

Why does he do that to us?

With the homies. Yeah.

Okay?

Spent an hour and a half on the phone with James two days ago. It's my dog. Just.

Tell him I need the catalog, okay?

Because I need the catalog. I need the cocaine 80s.

I will absolutely. Please, tell him I love him.

I respect with genius breeds eccentricity. I totally fucking respect it.

Okay. Make my brother smile. I know.

And so the magic that he has specifically with James Fauntleroy is what made me think this would be a really interesting Voltron with no ID and Maxwell. Cause I don't know if they've ever, you know, been in the same room with each other, like thought to work with each other.

So now think of the performance style for that artist.

Performance style. You know what's crazy? Shit. I was just at a Jamiroquai concert.

Fuck with Jamiroquai. Heavy. I was in.

Luxembourg, okay? I just went through seven countries. I went from... Paris, France, Brussels, Belgium, to Luxembourg City, Luxembourg, and then I went to Rwanda, Kenya, Tanzania, and then South Africa. And so I went to go see Jamiroquai in Luxembourg, and J.K., that motherfucker was, like, just bouncing all over the stage, you know? He still got it. He still got it. He talked a little bit about, like, the age is kind of, like, you know, kind of weathered the joints a little bit. But, I mean, J.K., The intensity of his performances, the fun, the whimsy of his performances. The only other person I can think of that performs like he did is the lead singer of Little Dragon. You know, whenever you see them perform... Okay,

if you know, you know, kind of thing. But just like, just occupying the entire, like each side of the stage, you know, just doing fucking jazzercise and flipping all, whatever else. But that's not to say that when D'Angelo would do his live shows as well with the Vanguard, that shit was like a- So which one are you choosing?

Okay, Chimerica.

Okay, goddammit.

Sorry, I'm sorry.

I cheat a little bit, okay?

I cheat a little bit. By, you know, by throwing in all these extras.

Okay, you mixed them then. Okay. They had a baby. They had a baby. Right. Right, right, right. We got one more. What else you got, champ? Just one more. She cried. I ain't saying no names. Hey! I ain't saying no names. I ain't saying no names. I ain't saying no names.

Who you was. Who you was with.

What you did. Don't say shit. I ain't saying no name. Yeah, so we here at this very important part of the show. Where you tell us a story. Funny or fucked up. Or funny and fucked up. But the only rule to this game is Melissa Ford cannot say no name. For the love of God. Not one. Come on. Come on with it.

Okay. Well, this one time at band camp, I ended up at like a rousing house party held by a really big producer. Okay.

Really big. Okay. Really big producer.

It was a very well attended party. And there was this platinum selling artist who had taken a liking to me. And this was literally the first time we were meeting. And he was like, oh, let me take you on a tour to, I don't know, go find some candy or a phone charger.

Yeah.

Something.

And then somehow, some way, make it a left turn and then a right. I ended up in that famous producer's very large walk-in closet.

With With Joe Jinkie. With the platinum-selling artist.

And there was this extraordinarily famous model also in the closet. And by now, I don't know how it's happened, but both platinum-selling artists and big producer are both in their draws.

Oh.

And there's also.

It's called Tearaway Pants.

There's also, like, an R & B songstress in the room as well.

Mm-hmm.

And I just thought to myself, I think I got to go. I think I got to go. I think that this is above my, it's above my.

It's above me now.

It's above me. It's above me.

My pay grade.

Yeah, my pay grade, my level of understanding as to what is normal and what is not. I'm just going to like waddle out of this.

Goodbye.

And that's all I have to say on that. You know, that's all I have to say on that.

Like a nice invitation to.

I wanted no parts.

To a new group. Yeah. You got to get out of there.

Yeah, yeah.

You got to tell them no.

You got to tell them no. But there's been quite a few times where, you know, I walked in and the candy dish was, you know, various things. Things like MDMA and ecstasy and whatnot. And I look around and, you know, think people's faces are starting to change and.

Maybe look a little demonic. And I was like, oh, I know.

I got to go. I got to go.

I got to go.

Like, I know who I am.

And this isn't me. Good for you. Yeah.

I don't need those experiences. I'm OK with being victimized.

Pretty vanilla.

Yeah.

I am.

I've made a lot of peace with being vanilla.

Absolutely. Yeah.

Like vanilla is cool. Like I'm Madagascar vanilla bean.

Okay.

But I'm still fucking vanilla.

There's certain things I just, I'll, I'll go through this lifetime not knowing anything about, you know, so I, stage book.

That's a great story.

Yeah.

Well, Miss Melissa Ford.

No, no, I got a couple of stories I want to tell about you though.

Oh shit.

Don't you do this. No, it's amazing.

Okay, go, go. Okay.

So do you remember when, We were in Vegas at that casino launch. It was, like, 2007. It was such a mishmash of people.

I think so. Yes, I do.

Like, it was me, you, Tyrese, Juliana Rancic, Vida Guerra. I was like, how did they pick these personalities? Like, it doesn't even really make any sense.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But, okay, whatever. They were paying us a fuck ton of money, okay? Because it was, like, these... Native Americans were like opening this massive casino.

That wasn't Red Rock, was it?

No.

No, I don't think it was Red Rock. I know we were staying at the Bellagio. That's what I do know. Because I had one of the best massages of my life. I still remember it. What is that? Like 2007, so 16, 17, 18 years later, I still remember this fucking massage. It was awesome. So I had just gotten off the plane.

And I see a message from my aunt and it says, call your mother immediately.

I was like, oh, for fuck's sake.

And I call my mom and I'm walking from the airplane to, you know, you're deplaning.

So you're walking towards baggage claim, whatever else.

And my mom was like, I don't want to worry you, but I have cancer. And I swear to God, it felt like the floor was. just almost like went out from underneath me. And this is probably my mom died in 2020.

So this is different.

And so I went into the bathroom, put my stuff down. I was like, tell me everything. And so she told me what she could, you know, it was a cancerous tumor in her, in her uterus and she was going to have surgery and whatever. And that sort of thing. My mom was so pragmatic and stoic. She was like, just don't worry about it. The fuck lady. It's impossible to not worry about it. I don't have my passport.

I have to go home to New York in order to be able to go home to Toronto and whatnot.

And so I I.

Everything is a blur. Going to baggage claim is a blur. Going to the hotel is a blur. Checking in is a blur. And the the organizers of the event, they hit you and they told you, Melissa is not OK. We kind of need her, though, to be OK for this. Like, you know, that's this business is, you know, you're conditioned to perform no matter what happens. Like your whole world can be ending and you still got to get on that stage with a fucking smile because.

You got paid to be there.

And and you came to my room and I was like literally like in the fetal position. And you just were just instantly just started to like, you know, like, OK, just you got we're going to do this.

I'm going to be right there with you.

I'm going to hold you up.

And when we get.

Finished with this shit, we're going to come back here and we're going to eat the fuck out of the mini bar and order everything off the room service menu. And I was just like, okay, okay. And that's exactly what happened.

He held me up.

He just I was able to put on the good face for the, you know, for the event. We came back to the hotel room and we ordered it because it was on their bill. We ordered everything, like literally chicken wings, grease dripping off of our fucking faces. And all he did was just make me laugh. and laugh for the rest of the night. And and that's like my memories with you. Like when me and you and Luke James went to fucking Six Flags. Oh my God.

That was so much fun.

Yo, we rode roller coasters until we had headaches. These two motherfuckers bought lightsabers and they were just fighting each other. It was hilarious. But I mean, that has, you've been that in my life. You've been that person that could just literally pick me up off the floor and just let me know it's, it's, it's going to be okay.

And you make me laugh and you make me forget the problem for a second. You know, so.

Yeah.

I just, I had to give you your flowers as to the role you've played in my life for so many years.

Wow. I'm sorry.

I stole your thunder.

No, no, no, not at all, man. We just, we appreciate you. You know what I mean? And we appreciate the stories. We appreciate the journey. Yeah. And, you know, thankful that, you know, that conversation that so many young girls and women get to hear. firsthand.

Yeah.

With real life experience.

Yeah.

And now they have a place to go. Yeah. I didn't bother to hear. Yeah. And see, you know what I mean?

But I also want, I'm going to expand the brand.

You're doing the book too.

So I am writing a book and it basically is going to be about, you know, the days that I spent with my mom on her deathbed and all of the things that I learned. And obviously there's going to be like, storytelling that leads up to it. I've got to add context to the relationship and everything else, but that's the meat and potatoes of it. But in terms of the brand, I'm expanding into doing retreats, but I also want to do men's retreats.

I feel like, yes, it's easy.

For me to speak to women because I am one, and I understand our very specific journey through life.

But with men, I just.

I feel like I want to I feel like there's something that I can I can do to participate in in helping in helping men grow, you know, in the ways that I had to learn how to, you know, and obviously I'm not going to do it on my own. Like, I'm still trying to figure out how to do that in a way that doesn't feel like I'm overstepping or anything like that.

Just just.

It's just helping and being of service, but I want to expand the idea of doing retreats, not just for women because women love a retreat, but men, they not necessarily, it's either like a bear crawling on the floor and shooting shit and stuff like that.

And I'm like, there's more to being a man than just, you know, shooting.

Shit, killing shit and fucking getting fit and rich and stuff like that. I think that's, I think that's where things kind of go wrong. You know, like, I think that there's so much more to you guys is, human beings it's beautiful and wonderful you know so yeah that's uh that's what's gonna happen with the brand.

Ruben there's more to you we'll let you know that thank you you know time is of the essence you know what i mean and for you to take your time for you to get all the way out here yeah and and and want to be part of us and and and share and what we do as you know i'm a We're going to come and see you and share what you're doing as well.

Oh, I can't wait.

And support 100%. I love that. We just appreciate you.

Thank you.

We appreciate the journey.

Thank you guys for having me. And thank you guys for watching. I really appreciate you guys.

Ladies and ladies and ladies and gentlemen, my name is Tank. I'm Jay Valentine. And this is the R & B Money Podcast, the authority on all things.

R & B.

I mean, from... Vixen to intellectual to business owner to everything brand building. Melissa Ford.

Renaissance woman.

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