S10E14: DO YOU FEAR OF HAVING ANOTHER STROKE ?

0:00 Hello my beautiful survivors. This is Karina, the creator and the host of Stroke Surviving the Odds, the podcast where the mission is to help you move forward, reclaim your life, reclaim your identity, reclaim things you might have lost during the stroke that I know you've lost. I suffered a brain stem dissection myself 27 years ago, and it led me to coma Interlochen syndrome, evidently because I'm recording this. I'm here with you, and I vowed to be here with my community of survivors when I get out of this. 27 years ago, there was no podcast, no Facebook, no social media. So I had to figure things for myself, me and my family. And it wasn't easy.

0:56 It was an uphill battle. But guess what guys? I'm here with you right now. So grab a pen and paper. The faintest of ink is better than the best memory, I promise. And come and join me here as we are recording today's episode. I just want to do a little bit of clean house before going on that. We have audio podcast on Spotify, Apple iTunes and Google Podcast.

1:25 So I recommend you download the episodes as you are recovering and recuperating yourself. But every every week ioffer video podcast that I publish on my social media as well as on YouTube. So make sure you subscribe there because you don't want to miss any of the interviews and any of the guests that I get. I don't only get guests that want to talk about their stories.

1:55 In fact, they want to talk about life after stroke, how they got out of it, how they got their mojo back. So I think it's very important that you also listen, share. The more you share, the more the algorithm pushes the podcast to the forefront, and the more you take notes, the more you take note of your own behaviour, how you can also change and do some modifications to make your life that much better.

2:33 Does that sound good? Well, today is not without interesting content like I usually provide. I try anyways, guys, I try. I honestly do because I know how hard it is to be a stroke survivor and I know how it is to be kind of against the grain kind of a. It seems as if everybody is different than you.

3:06 Your family and friends don't quite understand you. Maybe they talk about you and you in the background and it's as if you're transparent and even translucent. You're not. I promise you're not. As I'm recording today's show, guys, I have a little admission to tell you. I just fell on ice and I, like in the past, fractured a couple of ribs.

3:39 So I'm lying down trying not to breathe too hard 'cause when I breathe too hard, the muscles in my back start hurting and you might give me a moan of pain and I don't want that. I also have to admit to you that while I'm waiting for my medication to be delivered, I took a couple of glasses of wine and I'm the pain. And ironically, I don't feel it.

4:14 I feel the pain, but I don't feel the whine. Oh, that hurts. So today's episode is to show you that even 27 years down the road, guys, I don't know how I'm going to put a title to this. I want to find something interesting. Excuse me, I was getting a. Little, too. I'm very animated when I talk and I tend to be very loud and when we are loud guys we take more breath and when we don't have a lot of breath to take, we have to talk lower. So please forgive my maybe quietness today. Maybe.

5:03 I seem to be looking for my words. I'm in pain, guys. I'm not going to lie. After 27 years, I still fall on ice. Yeah, I manage. Here in Montreal. It's a beautiful fall day of weather. A winter day feels like fall, but it's a winter and there's no big slush all over the place, but there's a lot of ice.

5:34 And actually I went upstairs to my mother-in-law and I came down the stairs and I went through the temple and in the house and that's where I fell. In the temple there's ice. Can you believe it? Never thought I'd fall on on ice in the temple, but I did. So the moral of this particular story is for you to hold on to whatever there is, wherever you are. Be aware of your environment, be aware of what can keep you safe, and also be aware and know that you might do everything in your power to be safe.

6:19 You might hold on to the side of the railings and everything, but you might still fall. Sometimes I think that because I'm 27 years down the road, not that I'm that I'm safe and that I know, I know way Jose, all that. My husband just came in. I'm gonna put the thing on both. I have a confession to make, guys.

7:00 OK? The pain is becoming. It's increasing, and I'm feeling the wine. But really, I don't care. That's all I have here where I am. That can calm me down for a little bit, but I'm feeling it. But I have to tell you, in the last few weeks I've been a little bit worried about having another stroke in 27 years. I have never worried about it, even though I was in survival mode, even though I was active, I was working out, I was taking care of everybody else.

7:45 The only thing I did for me really in the last 20 years, 25 years is working out, running around, doing errands, being active. And these past few weeks that I've been thinking, am I going to have another stroke? I'm worried. Sometimes it's even debilitating and it's happened a few times where I wake up and I move my eyes side to side, up and down. I look at the ceiling.

8:25 I often feel a warm tear falling down. It's so not like me, but that's something that I've noticed over the years. A lot of people are worried about having it at the stroke, and now I get it. But I'm here to tell you that I think I know why we feel that way. Excuse me? I think I know why we feel that way, that we're going to have another stroke. We feel like we're lacking on something. I personally have been so active in the last few years, like physically active guys, that I dismissed that feeling. And these recent few years where I have moved on the second part of my life where I moved by myself and I've concentrated on healing my insides.

9:46 Over the years, I've done a lot of work, never mind physically, but a lot of therapy, a lot of emotional work. But that's why I say that they both go together. If you are one that is wondering, am I going to have another stroke? And you're worried and it's debilitating. And in the morning you have a hard time to wake up and in the afternoon you get your heart palpitations or you're all stressed out.

10:20 I can tell you that in these past few last years where I got into the second part of my life, I have not been as physically active as I have in the past. I've been concentrating on healing my insides and focusing on helping others heal because I know how great it feels. But at the same time, I was not physically and the less physical we are.

10:54 Guys, if you don't use it, you lose it. That's what I'm always telling you guys. But I right now am feeling it. If I don't use it, I lose it and I don't want to lose it. So it's up to me. I don't want you guys to have pity on me, but I want you guys to learn from my behavior. But this life is my life.

11:23 This story, this broke story is mine doesn't belong to anybody else. So excuse me, I'm the one that has to do something about it. So I I figured that many of you out there are feeling like you're scared of having another stroke. And when we feel like that, it's because we know there's something that we should be doing better. I know I should maybe see a doctor from my frozen shoulder, but everything else passes in front when you have a frozen shoulder, by left shoulder which is affected. Frozen means a lack of activity.

12:20 The more I have a lack, the more it's going to be frozen. It's logical. It's up to me to unfreeze it, right? It's up to me to go see the doctor, get the physiotherapy that I need for that and start working out again. Yes. So if I can find that out, I hope that you can find that out. And you realize, look back guys, write down what have you been missing? What if you're feeling like you might have another stroke? There's a reason for it.

13:03 What could you be doing differently? As I was walking my dog, before I fell, before I had the wine, before I'm going to get my meds. Eh? Fucking shit. This is a pain in the ass man. OK, I was actually thinking about my next podcast episode and I decided not to wait as I'm lying here. The best way to help ourselves is to help others.

13:43 So instead of being here lamenting on myself and how crappy I feel, I would rather talk to you guys. I often say that God's plan A is our Plan B, and I I have. To believe it. I'm very teary eyed right now, but I have to believe it. So. I want you guys to learn from my stupid mistakes, guys. I can only hope that you do that, and I can only hope that you realize what you need to do. Stop having that fear of having another stroke and. Live Every.

14:35 Moment. Fully I. Think I have I. Think I have. But lately, physically. That's what's. Been bothering me a lot and and and. And I have not. Been physically myself. And it's my fault. But. It doesn't have to be in his fault, but now that I know it's my fault, it's up to me to do something. About it. I think that's what I'm saying.

15:11 I'm not beyond reproach. I talk like you guys. I just have a. Lot more experience in the stroke game but I still have my moments where myself talk. Should be better. Myself thinking should be better I never. Said I'm perfect, guys. I'm a stroke. Survivor like you. But I'm empowered by. What I.

15:40 Found out. And I hope that. You are too guys. This is what I have for you. I want to remind you to. Like follow and. Subscribe on any platform that you're listening to a podcast and follow me on YouTube and subscribe on YouTube, download your podcast audio, subscribe on YouTube, and let's do this together, guys. Let's heal together.

16:11 I love you very much. Thank you for being there for me today. I'm in a lot of pain right now, so I'm going to let you go and I will talk to you soon. I love you. Bye.