S10E37: THE STROKE GAVE-ME MY LIFE BACK. ( guest, John Lummis)

0:00 Hello beautiful survivors, how are you? This is Karina from Stroke, Surviving the odds coming to you. The show's vision is all about moving forward past events of the stroke, helping you to reclaim your life and reclaim your identity. If you're watching this, you are most likely seeing this video cast on YouTube. So make sure you hit that bell and you follow. That way you don't miss any time that my amazing guests come on. And today is no exception.

0:33 I have John Loomis with me today. John is actually ready, willing, and able to step out of his comfort zone. It is time. So I'm not going to give you a big Babble. I'm going to let John tell you all about his beautiful journey is ups and downs and where he's at right now. Sounds good. Sure. Thank you, Mr. John Loomis for being with us today.

1:01 It's a long time. We're trying to get together. Yeah, been a while. It's been a while. Yes Sir, Yes Sir. So before we get into the meet the potatoes of today's episode, I would love to know about John the man. OK, I was, I'm a father of six kids. I've worked most of my, I've been working since mid mid teen years.

1:29 I had kids early on in life, so I had to make sure I could provide family and take care of things. And I every place I worked, I worked my way up to management and I changed jobs and do the same thing again. And I just sort of stuck in management after that for many years and LED right after work. I was actually working the day on my stroke. So did.

1:49 You start working again after your stroke? Did you start working in management after your stroke? No, I figured the stroke, the management and stress had something to do with my stroke. So I stay away from the stress of. Life got it. So I just, you know, you go through each day and, and you have a different perspective about life after your stroke and that this just just changed me. I mean, my, my, all my kids, you know, they said I was, you know, a butt head most of the life to them. I was very strict on them and very hard on them to make sure they, they would excel in life.

2:23 And I've had to back off on that a little bit on myself and still be able to excel in life. And they've seen a big change. They've, they've, they've, they, they just tell me all the way I used to be and the way I am now. And it's just a totally different person. But I'm still their dad. Of course, of course. Do you have grandkids?

2:43 I have 9 grandkids. Oh my God, congratulations. Wow. Well, congratulations on the kids and the grandkids. I think the grandkids have to do also with softening up grandpa. Oh, they, they, they run me over. Yes. And my, my, my daughters are said. So if I had done that when I was a kid, you would have whipped my butt. I said it's OK, relax.

3:09 And they, they start laughing going really. Yeah. I said, yeah, really, it's OK. Oh my, it kind of makes the kids a bit jealous, right? Jealous of the. Grandkids. Yes, they I. Know it was the same thing yeah wow I can't believe you have 9 grandkids and six kids that's amazing and when you were in management what were you specializing in what were you I I did.

3:38 Which? Field. A lot of manufacturing supervision, plant supervision, a lot of high stress stuff. I always went through each day, OK, how did today go and how can I make tomorrow better? And then a lot of the stuff through and as far as processes and stuff, I would make changes and make things and try to make things better. I would get feedback from the individuals doing the positions or working in the in the field or driving trucks and tractors and get some feedback and then to make some changes as as they felt is different because I'm not the one doing the actual process they are.

4:14 So I tried to get much back from them as possible. You're that's good. That's good. So you're a born leader to begin with, John. I didn't. I wasn't that way for a long time. I mean, it tells my mid 20s I was. I was shy and backwards. I was not this out front person and people go you were what I said. I was shy and backwards and people don't believe me. Nowadays, if you go back to the early 20s, you would not think I was the person I am now.

4:44 The stroke does that to many of us. It goes from making us extravagant. So you were introverted before you were very stern, very diplomatic and you know, everything had to be perfect and all that. And now you're a little more chill, but also extroverted. Yes, you're very. Did you develop your I can always say many stroke survivors we we lose our filters. Oh yeah, that, that, that's definitely been gone for a while.

5:21 I never really had one for years. I mean, with the kids like they were, I mean, I, I was involved in scouts, baseball, football, soccer. I was always, I usually instead of step in a coaching position and, and work with the kids. And so for a long time I, I would do things outside the house and always be busy, not besides work. And it, it developed anymore.

5:43 And then when I had this stroke, it just like dropped me from doing anything. And now I've now I've worked my way back up. I've helped out with some soccer a little bit. I don't have the skills I had before, but I'm definitely trying to get back into it again a little bit more. And I'm trying to get my daughter a coach. And now your daughter's a coach.

6:03 You taught, you see, You led by example. I'm trying to get him there, trying to get him there. They're just like, yeah, I'm not sure. I said go for it, I got your back, go for it. Try it. That's that's good that that's a good dad. That's a good dad move. I. Mean I'll I'll be I'll be behind you, I'll help you out I'll show you what I know or what I've learned and how it helps you out.

6:24 We'll just go from there and have some fun with. It OK, excellent. And I'm guessing you're married. Yeah, well, not now. I'm divorced now. OK, OK. Well, the kids are grown. My youngest is 26, my oldest is 4040. He'll be not just turn 44. And you're a young dad, man 'cause you're a, you're a handsome young fellow.

6:55 I, I started young and then and then just stuck with it. And I, I don't slow down and my kids, they, they, they know not to try to slow me down. It's not going to work. Well, you know, I'm very complimentative. I figure that women love to have compliments. We need to hear our compliments. And I think that men don't get enough. So I think if what I what is good for me, I like to give it to others.

7:22 So I hope it's OK with you. I'm just stating the obvious. Yeah, I mean, and, and to me, I've looked at that too with working in the field with both men and women, both genders out there. It's like you, you, you worry about crossing the line on a comment, but it's like if somebody's wearing something nice or somebody, you could tell they've lost weight or something, Speak up and say something, you know, pull them to the side and say something.

7:46 Don't embarrass them or something, but but speak up and tell them it's, it's that's you know, you think I lost weight, you know, and they may not have been even trying to lose weight or change their appearance, but they did. Well. No male or female, either one. Yeah, I agree. It's like there's a few bands that I know, a few friends. I I'm known to go karaoke every Friday night, you know, every now and then.

8:14 So I have my, I don't have many friends since the stroke. I keep my circle tight, but I know a lot of people and like now I recently cut my hair from longer to shorter. And some people, some men and women that I see, oh, you cut your hair. It's always nice to see. I even have a stroke survivor of Steven Albright.

8:40 He's going to be here next week. He's going to be a guest next week. And he said that to me. Karina, did you cut your hair? That's like, wow, thank you. Yes, yeah, that's, that's nice. So, OK, tell me, are you up to telling us to bringing us back in time a little bit and telling us your story? Yes, go ahead.

9:05 Yeah, I'm good. No, I'm not saying it. You're saying your own story. I'm here for you. Well. How far back do you want me to go? Well, tell us the story of the stroke to bring us back to when the stroke happened because I, I need to tell you this, our viewers and our listeners, they need to feel like they're not alone, right?

9:31 I agree. And, and I like to, they need to see that this man, John Loomis, is doing it. He stepped out of his comfort zone. He's doing what he's going to do. If it's good for him, it must be good for me. So that's why it's important you share your stroke story. Good enough I can do that. Floor is yours.

9:58 I was a right before my stroke, I was very I was running a a small trucking company and I thought myself I was invincible. Nothing was going to take me down. And then the day of the stroke, you know, I found out differently. I was, I was sitting at my desk and I'd just come in off the, the trucking dock and just sat down and was talking to a couple drivers.

10:19 And there's only just another gentleman and I that actually ran the office. So the drivers had left and I sat down and my, my hand felt a little weird. And then my son called and wanted me to help him change his brakes on his truck that weekend. And I went, I answered him back. He goes, dad, I can't understand you. And I repeated what I said.

10:37 He goes, Dad, I can't understand you and he says I'm just tired Cody, I'll talk to you later. And he goes, OK, well, I felt that the the sensation of my my, my leg felt like I weighed 1000 lbs. My arm fell like I weighed 2000 lbs. But then when I clicked in thinking OK, speech went, he couldn't understand me.

10:59 So numbness in the left side speech. I just had a stroke. So I took my computer screen and changed the font to real large font size and broke stroke because my I was married at the time. My wife was coming to visit me for lunch and I didn't know what was going to happen next. I don't know if I was going to pass out or anything like that. So I just counted you on deep breathing and got to sit in deep breathe.

11:22 She'll be in here in a minute and then we'll decide what to do. And then she walked in. I just pointed at the computer screen. So there it is right there. And she OK, so she said let me you get to the vehicle. I'll just take you straight to the hospital and I couldn't stand up. I could not stand up. I couldn't walk.

11:38 OK, so at that moment the stroke happened. It was you. You knew that that's what happened. Did you know about the fast? I knew about some of it. I was a a a volunteer firefighter and EMT for the local town I live in. So I knew some of it and I knew what good things to look for. And that's why I said the numbness.

11:59 I was thinking heart attack. But then when the speech went a new stroke, there's 22 signs there right away. So that's an associate. So she told the other guy in the office to call an ambulance because I just had a stroke. And she called the ambulance. They got there and said we can't get the Gurney into your office. Can you step outside and get on the Gurney? So I actually got up and walked out of the office and walked and walked and crawled in the back of the ambulance. There was no groom.

12:25 Yeah, I guess. And then? Wow, you must. Even though you know you must. Were you scared? I once I realized it had taken a hold of me when I got back to the ER and they said it was a stroke and evolution because it was the, the blockage was there and then it would let go and then it would show up because they'd take me every 10 minutes. And you know, I could hold my arm up, hold my foot up, and then 10 minutes left.

12:51 I couldn't hold nothing up, no strength whatsoever. So they said it's a stroke and evolution. I didn't, you know, I knew, you know, being a parameter or EMT. You had the elderly people have strokes and you sent them off to the hospital and you knew they came back home but you just thought they sat and watched TV all day long and passed away within a number of years. I did not know what could happen next. And so yes, I was scared.

13:14 I was really scared of what life was going to be. And I didn't. And what happened next, John? So now they said the stroke is an evolution. They see the blockage. Did they give you drugs or it was too late? They hadn't given me a check for the blockage yet. They said it was still they wanted to give me the the the the neurologist said I can give you the clock breaking shot, but if you have a brain bleed, it's going to make it 10 times worse. So yeah, it's going to hemorrhage. My, my decision was just let it go. I'm not going to take a chance to injure myself even more if this is a damage that's going to happen. You know, hindsight looking back, I should have took the shot but didn't know what was

13:57 really going on yet. And you didn't know if you were going to survive, right, or if it was going to become a very major brain bleed. Yeah. And then they took me down, did the scan, says, well, it's actually a blockage then, actually. So that was on a Thursday. And by Saturday, I'd lost the full use of my left side, my hand and my my hand and my leg were gone by Thursday. Wow.

14:19 OK. So it was very gradual. Yes. OK, you see, some people, I thought actually that the stroke and it's very gradual. Wow. You know, I have to tell you, you're saying this and I have chills. Even though I'm a stroke survivor, I never cease to be amazed by people's stories of surviving their stroke and how it happened. So my reaction when I say, like, I really can't believe I have chills right now.

14:58 Really. I mean, and it's funny because some, I don't know if it's like that for you. I'm just gonna pause you for a moment. When we have a stroke and when we are in survival mode afterwards, we don't pay so much attention to what's going on. We're just living. We're just fighting for our lives. Very true.

15:24 So for me to be able to hear stories, it's, it's a reminder of where I was and it humbles me and it really does OK. I mean. I am. Sorry, OK. It humbled me. It humbled me right away when I you know, I didn't know you could come back from a stroke. I'd never seen or heard a story of anybody ever doing that because it's nothing you didn't really hear about. I mean, everybody goes, everybody goes to the hospital. They come back home.

16:02 They and it's usually as we always thought too, was something happened to the elderly and not so much the younger group. And we're finding out more and more and more how much it's happening to the younger people. And it's it's that just serves me the most. When, when was it again? Can you give me a?

16:19 It's a few years back, yeah. December 3rd, 26th, 2013. 2013 OK after. Christmas and I started rehab on January 1st, 2014. So I'm just flabbergasted right now as you were, you had this stroke and instead of getting either the same or slightly better, you were getting worse. So I can just see your mind how you were like, what the hell is happening? Yeah, that.

16:51 Yeah. I didn't know what life could be after that. I didn't. I thought it was all dead, you know, I thought I was done. And then? How long were you in the ICU for I. Was in the hospital for five days. And they kicked. Me out and sent me to rehab. Wow. OK. And then and were you in a rehab for a long time? They had me set up for 24 days.

17:17 I completed the program in 19 and was sent home and started outpatient rehab. OK, OK. And can I ask you right now, like as after all this time and this work that you have done, I'm guessing your rehab was physical, very physical. My both my therapist, my OT, and my PT were very physical and very very hard on me.

17:46 My OT being the hardest. She explained to me that no one is to help you, you figure it out yourself and that set my tone on how I was going to recover. She swears she never said no. You said it. And what part of your? It's funny because we're all affected more in different areas than others. Other than physical. Were you affected speech wise, aphasia, or cognitively or emotionally?

18:25 What was affected? I they said where my stroke was located that was next to my emotional center. So they're the on call. Psychologist was very concerned that my moods, I had a bunch of mood swings which I didn't have. So I finally started. I'm done coming to your office. He goes, yeah, you're fine. I said I need to be on the floor out there doing physical exercises to get better.

18:49 I said I'm fine myself, no problems, but aphasia, I'd say maybe a slight touch of it that shows up after two or three days, maybe not having being in contact with people. I mean, I noticed my my work schedule now is a Monday, Tuesday off Wednesday work Thursday and Friday off the weekend. Well, originally I was doing, I was doing a Friday off Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

19:10 But by Sunday I realized my speech was a little bit off and maybe slightly slurred because I hadn't been speaking as much for two days. So I split my schedule up a little differently to keep. So I keep, I work around a lot of people, so I get a lot of contact with people, a lot of discussions going on and it keeps my, keeps my brain turning all the time. But I, I still suffer from a little bit of fashion from there.

19:32 And cognitive is just a little bit. I mean, sometimes I can explain what something looks like to AT, but I can't tell you what it's called. I can't figure that name out. Probably. It's like it drives me crazy. It's like I know it, I know, I know it. I can tell you what color it is, what it's made out of, and we're sitting out in the in the store, but I can't tell you what the name of it is.

19:52 It drives me crazy. I think it also asked, hold on, you're being tough on yourself, John. OK, I think we're pretty close in age. OK, We're in our 50s. Well, I know I am. How old are you? 62. Oh, you're still in your 50s? OK, you're still in your 50s. So I think that we have that as stroke survivors.

20:22 We have that little weakness, right? But our age also plays into account. So when we add a little bit of each, it adds up like a significant amount, you know? And were you affected emotionally? I can cry on the drop of a dime I went to. My son. Yeah, I can't block it. I can try all I can to block it and I can't block it. I used to breathe through it and I used to be. My kids are so I was stone cold all the time. I didn't show any emotions for a long time. Now I can't rock up them.

21:06 And my son graduated basically training down in South Carolina and I hadn't seen him for like 6 weeks. And he walked up in the stands on Family Day and he just looked at me to the I couldn't hold it back. I was just pouring down my face. And he goes, you cry worse than my mom does. I said thanks a lot, I appreciate it. Yes.

21:33 But it's hard. And I've learned the story of the behind the net writing of the national anthem to the United States and that story is stuck in my mind. And every time I hear the national anthem, I start to tear up. And my kids, we stand next to me going, are you crying? Are you crying? Yes. The tears come down my eye.

21:51 Yes, I'm crying. OK, I can't hold it back. It's, it's a, you know. And did you have laughing spells at the beginning? Did you have laughing spells? No more than normal. I mean, I'm usually a prankster. Yeah, I'm usually a. Prankster. Oh my God, I had laughing spell galore. Oh boy. But now crying is the one thing that gets me really going. Even when I'm walking the dog and I'm thinking about my daughter, she's the only thing that gets me. So I try to avoid feeling thinking of her wedding or thinking of something that brings me back in the sentimental version because I know for sure I'm going to be bawling in the middle of the street. Yeah.

22:49 Oh, wow. Oh, I love that, John. And why do you think that is? Why do you think you get crying emotional when you're happy? Why do you think the logical reason would be for that? That's, you know what, that's the, the most beautiful thing that I've heard today and in the last few days, you know, and it also has to do with the fact that, well, you do know that I'm a coach, right?

23:38 And that I've done studies in that. And I think that it a big part of it is that we are appreciative that we did get that second chance to see our children and our grandchildren accomplish XY and Z, and we are witness to that. So my goal right now is not to make you cry. My goal right now is to make you feel normal because I'm like that.

24:06 So you're making me feel normal, you know, is it that that's beautiful? I think that what you're describing is, and a lack of a better word is the beauty of having a stroke. That is probably the only beauty of having a stroke is being able to witness things. You know, I went as far as this done and I, I dare you to try this and any of you that are watching this right now, take a pen and paper. Just chill, be in your own mind space, no distractions and write down since you stroke what you have you been able to witness OK and it could be the eclipse.

25:23 It doesn't have just to do with our children right? It could be from trying a new recipe to seeing an eclipse, to sing a rainbow, you know, things that we witnessed and I came up, I sat down, I did the work, I sat down and for me it came up to 4950 ish. OK. Things that from the top of my head, I got to swim with dolphins because I have a bucket list.

25:51 I swam with dolphins. For me, that was huge going and seeing a pina, you know, in, in Cuba, the, the, the, the, the pina, the trees, the, the, the pineapple trees, you know, for me, I wanted to see that in real life with a machete and kept them, you know, and I got to do that. So, you know, there's so many things.

26:17 So really take that gift for yourself and you'll see how precious things can be. Love it. Yeah. I, I love I, I see you stepping out of your comfort zone when you say that from the man you were. And that's the contrast. I think people need to understand and need to see who they were and who they are now. And I want you to I want people to see the evolution. The the old John would not have probably you would have just seen a barn.

27:41 The old John would have just seen a barn off. They should tore it down. And now you see the beauty of it. You know, I love what you're saying. I love it. Thank you for that. That's a beautiful gift, John. And what can your I have to ask you now? It's the second time you talk about what the kids do, what the grandkids do that the kids could not do.

28:24 I have to ask you, what is it? No little rats will they love it. Wow, do you cook? Yeah. OK, And that's something you didn't do before. You would grill, but you wouldn't never do anything else. Oh, interesting. OK, well, you want to laugh? Never made a Turkey in my life. Wow. Look at grandpa. Wow. Wow.

30:54 Well, I really, really enjoyed our talk. I definitely. I'm inviting you anytime you want to come. I'm gonna make a hole for you. We're gonna make we're gonna make some time and we can just chit chat and maybe eat some mashed potatoes. You make your batch, I make my batch, and we eat our mashed potatoes together. OK.

31:20 I thoroughly enjoyed our time together, John. I'm. I'm really happy we got to see each other. Any final word you want to tell to stroke survivors right now? Love it love it. Thank you so much. What a beautiful final word. I love it. Thank you guys. You have been watching stroke surviving the odds, the podcast, but here on YouTube it is the video cast.

32:11 Make sure you like follow, subscribe, you ring the bell on YouTube and you follow our Facebook group and you contribute as in communicating and sharing your story and make new friends and notice how you are not alone with those final words. We both want to tell you thank you and we love you. Bye, so I close.