S11E29: HOW TO DEAL WITH PERSONALITY CHANGES AFTER STROKE. ( guest, Heidi Loveridge)

0:00 Hello my beautiful survivors, how are you? This is Karina from Stroke Surviving the Odds, where the mission of the show is to help you reclaim your life. Reclaim your identity after stroke and move forward past these events and notice that there's a beautiful life to be lived. As for me, I survived the stroke 28 years ago, brainstem dissection that led me to coma Interlochen syndrome. As you can see, I am here living my very best life and you guys are a big part of it.

0:31 Just want to do a little bit of clean house. I don't want to remind you to like, follow and subscribe on any platforms that you're listening to. And I know that you're ringing that bell if you are watching this on YouTube. So that's all I have to say. I promised you guys that I was going to bring you some guests that are going to rock your world, your stroke world.

0:59 Guests that are either going to give you alternative ways to heal and alternative ways how to heal themselves inside and how they recovering, how they are recovering from stroke and give you some tips and pointers. Today's guest is exactly that Heidi is from Vancouver. She's a fellow Canadian Vancouver around I'm not sure yet Victoria Vancouver Island excellent. She's a very big nature lover, hiking lover, dog lover. She has her knitting, wrote her knitting kit right now she's knitting.

1:41 She's a dog mom. She's married for the past 21 years, which is very impressive because she looks like she's 17. But you know what? I just love her energy and how Heidi is. So she is going to come and tell us how recovery has been for her in the past while and what is coming up in her future. Heidi, I really want to thank you for being part of the show, part of my life.

2:13 If you would like to introduce yourself before telling us your story of the stroke, can you tell us a little bit about you before the stroke? All right, so before the stroke, I was a hard worker. And so that was a really hard thing to let go of. And I'm still, I'm still working on that and I love camping, hiking, going to see the ocean, which is very close to my house. And I love being outside.

2:41 And dogs, dogs are my favorite thing. I have a Sheltie and I'm friends with her breeder and she gives, she lets me take care of like litters of puppies sometimes. And it's like so joyful for me to have puppies up. Nice. Do you think that that's becoming a new passion of yours? Just as big as knitting.

3:01 Yeah, it could be. Yeah, I do. I do love them. It makes me so happy to have baby dogs. Nice, nice. So if we go into the story of your stroke, bring us back to when it happened, before it happened, symptoms. How are you feeling? Yes. So before it happened, the month before, I was doing a presentation at work, a knitting presentation by strangely enough, and I had a really large pain in my neck and then like my mouth is really dry and I just couldn't like get enough liquid in my mouth to speak, but I did. And when I had my big stroke, they found damage of a previous stroke.

3:46 And I think that was then and I but. You had two. Yes, I've had two technically at two different occasions. Yeah. So that was in May 2025. And then June, the real one hit. So it was the end of June when it happened. So I think same thing riding a stationary bicycle in my backyard. But then my neck was like a big pain. I think that might have been the blood clot going through my neck.

4:14 And I just had, I went in the house and I like lie down. And I think my husband tells me that I was having symptoms for four days before I went to the hospital. And my main symptom was my balance. Like I could not stand up. There's a dent in the garbage can in my bathroom that's from my head. Oh, that's souvenir. Yes, exactly.

4:34 That's a memory for forever. I mean, not that this is a forever. And do you know what type of stroke you had? Like you call it the big one. Do you know what kind of stroke you had? Yes, it was a blood clot. So right MCA, right middle cerebral artery stroke, they call it. OK, OK. And and and you're showing me your hand. What is that?

5:01 Left side was the side that I had trouble with 'cause my brain, the right side, right. MCA stroke, yeah. Yes, OK, OK. And it was also in the cerebral area, in the cerebral. So it's like a brainstem stroke. Wow, OK, now OK, I'm talking to myself. I'm thinking out louder here, so you show me your left hand.

5:24 So are you a lefty as well? Yes, I am. So I I like handwrite but it's really terrible. Like sometimes I can't even. I guess that I was lucky, Heidi, because when I had my stroke it was on the right, so it affected my left right, but I'm a righty. Yeah. So you were good. I mean, thank God, I think of you guys everyday having to use the the unaffected hand and and that is not dominant and wow. So how was it for you to adjust to that? So I like to say that lefties are used to using their right hand a lot for things anyway, because things are not made for the left-handed world.

6:13 So like I think I did mostly the right, I just can't write with my right hand, but like I can do many other things. So I actually went to a leather make, a leather purse making workshop this summer and we had to punch really like stitch through and my left arm could not hit it, but my right arm was strong enough and I could hit the nail and I didn't hit my fingers or anything. It was amazing.

6:34 But I can. I'm so glad I can. And when it comes to knitting you, I see you using your two hands, right? The one that goes around is your operative hand. It's my right hand, so I knit. Right. It's your right. Wow. You hit right-handed, but you're left-handed in the rest of the world. Yeah, OK, OK. And that was because.

7:00 Of my. Patterns are knit, or most patterns are right-handed, so it's easier to follow if you knit the same way. OK, OK, OK. Did you knit that sweater that you're wearing? Yes, I did. This is my summer project. Love it. Love it. Is it? And Oh yes, I saw it when you started knitting it. You were just beginning to knit it. OK, Nice, nice, excellent.

7:25 Well, when it comes to what were you doing before the stroke, if you don't mind my asking? Well, just like. Working, yes. As far as job, what were you doing? Oh so I was working at the local Transit Authority which is BC Transit and I used to buy stuff for them. OK. So you were to buy it for them? OK, OK.

7:47 So did you, are you, did you go back? Are you going back? Do you have plans to go back? I actually went back for three months, but LCD was like, you're not doing well. And they took me back and then so that was like April and now my leave doesn't end till October 31st. But I'm going to need to extend 'cause I actually took allergy testing and they figured we figured out executive functioning issues.

8:18 So got it, got it. I'm. Working on that with my occupational therapist. OK, so being surrounded by the appropriate help helps. Yeah. You are advocating for yourself, which is big, which is something big that I always talk to my stroke survivors about. Advocate for yourself. So when you went to see a doctor after when you were working and you went to see a doctor. Yes.

8:48 Did you he obviously ask you how is it going and you explain and they're the ones who said you need to get off work again or you said I don't feel confident and comfortable to do it? Well actually it was a disability, the long term disability of insurance company that took me back off work. Which is strange cause like you think they do not have to pay me anymore but help? You would think they would so, so you would think that it's the opposite, right, Because it's long term disability. They would do anything to pay and in your case they're saying you are not going back to work.

9:25 You're not ready yet? No. OK, OK. Did they tell you why? No, but I mean, everybody knows my mental health though, so. OK, so for you, mental health was was big. Do you mind talking a little bit about that? Because Heidi, as you know, most stroke survivors suffer in one, one way or another. They suffer from mental health.

9:53 And we don't have to go into details, but I think it's I suffer from mental health, I'm under control, but I suffer. And I think it's important that that stroke survivors don't feel alone. Can you talk to us a little bit about it? Yes, I am not the only one. But it's just like when you meet other survivors, everybody gives like this. I'm all right vibe, you know, like everybody smiles and pretends that they're doing so well, but we're not. And so, oh, I can't remember where I'm going with this. You know, take your time and breathe because you're talking fast.

10:33 When we talk about things that are very emotional to us, Heidi, we all do it, even me. We all, we like blab. We just let it out. Take a deep breath and compose yourself and slow down that way. It's going to slow down your your brain, OK, And all your thoughts going to come back. Take your time, I am an already a fast speaker.

11:01 Yes, I I know. Oh, stroke, No. Before stroke I was always fast, yes. Pre stroke. Yeah. So we were talking a little bit about mental health and you wanted to share something and you was expressing how stroke survivors are saying they look OK. They're always saying they're OK, but in reality they're not.

11:32 They're not OK. We're not OK. There's something. That's where you were at. Does that recall from that? Does that remember you something? Yeah. So I go to a, a stroke Group, A stroke from Victoria stroke recovery group in, well, in Victoria and everybody there, they're definitely a lot older, like they're all like season older. And but there is one guy and as we had, so we have a group counselor to talk to us.

12:02 And I used to cry every time. And this one guy, he was crying with me and I was like, oh, good. I am not the only one. And he's many years. Old oh, you felt relief. So you felt relief. Yeah, yes, nice, nice crying too. And I wanted to tell her thank you. I used to be the only one that did this during these meetings.

12:24 Oh, oh, wow. So you see, so you made that person feel good and that person made you feel good. Yeah, that's that's what I mean when I say paying it forward. It's being your true self and and allowing that vulnerability to come out. And that's exactly what you did. So good on you. I know that you were asked to lead the group. I what?

12:50 How did you say for the Victoria group? You were leading it or. I was elected to the board of the Board of Directors. Wow, OK. And your functions are in regards to what you're. Right now I just attend the meetings and like. OK, that's fine. You. You watch. Right, you watch Mostly it's like listen and learn. Less OK, And at one point you're gonna be asked to speak and assess what you have seen, right? What you witnessed and how how the group can get better and as a unit but also individual.

13:32 Yes, exactly. Yes. And how do I get some more younger people to join in? Oh, OK, OK, 'cause I, I agree in what you're saying that many groups and different association have. You're in your 40s, right? Yeah. Yeah. So many stroke survivors are older than us. Yes, yeah. So yes, it's only normal that those groups have more older people. But you know what?

14:05 You're a young spirit. I'm sure that you bring some spice and some life to the group. Yes, I do. I hope. At least, I like to think I do. I think I'm appreciated. I, I think you, I think you do and and have you. I know knitting is a big part of you. So when you go to your group, do you would knit as well?

14:26 I bring my knitting up. Oh, interesting. OK, interesting. I love that. Heidi, if you don't mind my staying, could it be that you bring your knitting because it's, it's like your token, your reminder, your safety net, if you will. Oh. Yeah, it definitely was my safety net before my stroke. So since stroke I've become a, a more extra rooted individual. So like I used to avoid groups at all costs before, used to like tire me of like nobody, no ability, like no nothing. Like now I need people.

15:03 Like I think I made my husband a little bit crazy cause in the beginning I'd just be like, OK, we're going to someone's house. Like just people. Like he didn't really know and I'd take them, he'd have to take me 'cause I don't drive yet. OK. And by yet I mean I never drove before my stroke. But I have my learners now, and I'm going to learn. Yes, yes, yes.

15:22 And when you drive, excuse me, I was having a sip of coffee. When you drive, you're going to be using your right leg to to do the pedals, so it's going to be a little bit easier. Yes, I'm lucky that way, yeah, I won't have any trouble. For, for, for the leg. And As for the hand, because we need to do movements. Oops, I went in front of my camera. We need to do movements.

15:50 But I also use my left hand as support. I, I lead with the right with the dominant hand. For me or for you, it's going to be the operative hand, but the left is going to steer. So you're going to get a lot more independence and movement with that. That must be exciting for you. Oh yes, however I do need to buy another car for me to use. So our current car that we have is a a truck and I actually bought bought my first car at 44 and but however my husband was coming to pick me up in the Okanogan and it got it got totalled so I need to buy a new car. Oh, and you have a smart car.

16:32 I did, yes. And I see, I, I do see the, the your content and your pictures and you really are a big avid nature lover. I mean, that's where you shine. I can see the blow in your skin and in your smile. Yes, I love being outside. If we go back a little bit, if you don't mind when, when you talked about mental health and, and we, we're learning that having an outlet like you for you, it's your knitting that makes you safe, that makes you feel safe, right? For someone else, it could be something else. For some people it's that's annoying, but for some people it's the pen, right?

17:25 But at this point, as stroke survivors, there's a way to be discreet. If the pen like this is annoying, well maybe you could learn to turn the pen or something to channel your energy their way to. Do the same thing. Yeah. And are you on any medication, Heidi? Yes, I'm on 2 medications for my mental health.

17:50 Sertraline and Wellbutrin is what the common name is. Yes, exactly. Yeah, OK, because I'm on Sidalopram. I'm on sidalopram and will be trained the Wellbutrain. The Wellbutrain is it helps activate even more the other one it they work in synergy together. Yeah, 'cause you're wellbutrain alone doesn't do much, but together they do.

18:20 Right, instead of SSRI, the first one on SSRI that you're taking, select this. To be honored. I, I, it's, it's really simple. It's a simple antidepressant. I mean, my father-in-law of 96 years old used to take it as well in a smaller dose. So it's really just to stabilize the mood and all that. Yeah.

18:44 Yeah, so I need to appointment with the psychologist to like have this reassessed. Yes, it's important to be reassessed. And you know, because you see me on social media, you know, I'm a big avid. I journal a lot, I write a lot. Is it something that you like doing? Well, I used to like to write with a pen, but now I can't. At least OK I.

19:14 Can't read it later. OK, but I see there's a guitar behind you, my dear. Oh, sorry, I cut you off, You were saying? Oh, I don't know, I saw. I think I was going to like. I like to be able to read what I can write afterwards. OK, OK, OK. Oh yeah, I know. OK, so every night I do my Bible readings and I have a notebook in the case and it's to like write things that happen during the day that we're good.

19:45 I like that. A grateful, a grateful journal. I like that. And it's kind of part of my evening routine. And yeah, I love, I love. Evening is when I feel my best. I don't know why. So. So I. Interesting. OK, yeah. Do you think that it has to do with the fact that you read your Bible in the evening and it calms you down as well?

20:12 No, it's before of the Bible readings that happens. Like it's like while I'm eating dinner I start to tend to calm down a little bit. Wow. OK. Yes, as stroke survivors, we feel like the switch has to be on all the time, right? If we had an imaginary switch here, it had to be. It has to be on all the time and we have to be strong, but we don't have to be. No.

20:41 No, we can just be ourselves. But being strong feels good though. Of course, who doesn't like to feel strong and happy and in a good mood because you, you. But some days simple occur. Yeah, I know. I like to be happy too. I like because when you're happy, you bring more happy around you. When you're positive, you bring more positive around you.

21:10 Yes, that. That was the old hottie I used to feel. I swear I used to feel happy all the time. Like I was really easy to feel happy in my old life. But then the stroke hit me and it broke my happiness. OK. I really want that to. Come in. Yeah, yeah, I could see it makes you sad and thinkative. Yeah. It's the first time I see you like that. That's.

21:42 Yes, I don't wanna, I don't wanna cry 'cause you can't speak when you cry so. And you have such a beautiful smile. You know, when I met you a few months ago, Heidi, you were so serious and and, and and and all that. And we spoke a couple of times and you got on different kind of medicine and whatnot.

22:04 And then you said, Karina, I'm starting to feel a little bit better. And I could, I could read the happiness and the joy in what you're saying. And it's the first time I see you like you are grinning ear to ear. I love it. You're so beautiful. You really are, you are a beautiful person, Heidi. And we, I, I as Karina, am very lucky that you came on my, on my path and I'm getting the chance to know you and our stroke survival community and the community you're working at the Victoria's hospital.

22:41 I mean, I'm sure you're a sunshine for them. That's why they elected you on the committee. Yeah, yes, I'm sure why that's why. And who doesn't want to leave there committee? And how has your marriage been as in after the stroke with you and your husband, the communication, the do you mind my asking? Because a lot of people are having problems or having a great time.

23:11 It changed completely. How is it for you? So he's been so amazing. When I was in the hospital for seven weeks, he came and visit me like every day. He was there almost all day, every day like we have. We, we do. We're we get a really long, we're going really well. Yeah, though, I mean, we could have a little, a few more heart to hearts, I guess more of like the deep conversations. But we most of us like to have fun together. Do you think the stroke is something that cognitively it it slowed down the fact that you don't have as much communication now?

23:47 Is that what you mean? No, we've always not been super like chatty like that. OK. So then for you guys, it's normal? Yeah, exactly. This is and you've been married 21 years, Heidi. Yes. Yes, I was 23. You were. You must be doing something right, girl. Yeah, something is working. Something is working.

24:11 Absolutely, Absolutely, Heidi. Yes. Absolutely. We're supposed to be going away for our 20th anniversary, but then instead I went to the hospital for seven weeks. From the hospital. That's what I'm thinking of. Oh shit, shit, shit. Yeah. So 25 is coming on, so no light. Yeah. And your husband's name is?

24:38 Dave. Dave OK, well, you know what Dave is. And other than Dave, how? How did you feel supported after the stroke? Yes, I have. My my parents live here in Victoria and so does my sister and her husband and her kids. SO and my parents visit me almost every day too in the hospital. OK. OK. So that's that's important.

25:02 That's very important. Yes, Yeah. Good. So I noticed that I noticed that you are not knitting, you're taking your brain. I'm concentrating on talking. I love, I love this side of you, Heidi. I love this side of you. And that's good. That shows that even while you're in an interview, you are working on yourself and, and, and that's very good. You're taking a very good step and you're showing other stroke survivors that it can be done in any circumstances. Yeah, exactly.

25:48 Yeah. Well, I left. Out well. I had a wheelchair Walker, however I did. We started doing what I called my stroke recovery walks, which is down at the breakwater in Victoria. So it's a very flat walk and there's like railings on either side. So I think it was like an ideal place to like practice to learn to walk again because I could hold on if I needed to.

26:10 And it was very flat and very beautiful. I. See a lot of you're very, and what we say in, in French, we call it sistem de, you're very, Oh my Lord, I'm looking for the word right now. Not handy, but you, you adapt easily and you, you're, you're looking for solutions. You're very proactive. Like you said, I don't want the Walker, I don't want the wheelchair. And you went walking and you found the place that helps you to rejuvenate, which is near the water. So that's you're, you're teaching stroke survivors to adapt with what they have around them. And for you, it's things, it's nature, it's areas that you love.

27:02 So I'm getting a lot of, I'm getting a lot of out of this interview. Heidi, I'm good. You're selling yourself short, girl. Don't, don't. I think that's like my the future, Heidi is like to be an inspiration to other people. I think I don't know how I'm going to get that to make that happen, but I'm going to try I. I I love that.

27:26 I love that the future Heidi is going to inspire people. I think you already started doing that, honey. Yeah. I honestly, honestly do so here. So I'm gonna invite you to come and see us maybe around the holidays and show us what you're needing and how you're starting to inspire more and more people. And as far as the group in the at the Victoria, did you? Is there more young people that joined or that came or that opened up?

28:07 No, nobody ever comes. So they actually go to the the inpatient hospital once a month. So I need to get myself involved in that. So I should go too. And then if there is a young person there, they'll be more likely to show up because they'll see me. Yeah, exactly. OK, well, there you go. So you have plans for the next few months, and that's what I want to see, and that's what our audience wants to see.

28:34 They want to see you. Go, go, go and make it happen. Yeah, get things done. Yep. Very proud of you Heidi, very proud of where even in the last six months how life has completely turned for you. So any final words that you would like to tell our audience? Yes, things can get better. I mean, I know it's not quick.

29:00 That's the hard part. But eventually the time will pass and you'll be like the time it feels like now. It feels like the past year was like zip by, like nobody's business. And then yes, I can walk again. And I remember when I was, it was so hard when I left the hospital, like I just hobbled around the house.

29:16 But now I can walk. I can like I can do an 8 kilometer hike if I need to or want to. You never need to go for a hike. But I do enjoy it. Good stuff, guys. You heard it from Heidi. So this is a perfect way to end today's episode, OK? Make sure that you follow us. Make sure you ring the bell and you follow our Facebook group. And you please comment to either me or Heidi, anything that you would like to know, Anything you would like to ask Heidi, go right ahead.

29:56 You can Simply put add Heidi Loveridge in the comment and, and I'm going to make sure that she gets those comments. That being said, I love you immensely, Heidi. I love you too. Thank you. All right. Thanks. Bye guys, bye. See. You later, baby.