S11E3: KEEP ON GOING after stroke ( guest, Robert Moore)

Hello my beautiful survivors, how are you? This is Karina from Stroke Surviving the Odds. The podcast chances are if you are seeing this right now is that you are on YouTube. So I'm going to encourage you to ring that bell. That way you are going to be notified when I have amazing guests and you are not going to be missing any. I want you to know that Stroke Surviving the Odds mission is to help you move forward past events of the stroke. Reclaim your life, reclaim your identity. As for me, I am a brain stamp dissection survivor, 28 years post.

So there is hope. It led me Tacoma in the locked in syndrome. But obviously I'm here with you guys and with Robert. And guess what? You are a big part of my recovery and I want to thank you guys. So stroke, surviving the odds here. Our room together, we are chilling, we are having conversations, some bigger, some smaller, some casual. We cry, we laugh, we do all kinds. But you know what?

It it's all good. It's all good today. It's not going to be any different. We have Robert Moore here with us, and Robert is living in what? Where do you live, Robert? Again, I always forget. Cranberry Township, north of Pittsburgh. There you go. OK. And what is there to do over there? Well, I used to be a truck driver, but I was ready to retire.

They struck really helped me to retire. So right now I'm on my way to start a new business of an online auction called Whatnot. Great. Wow. It's an app that if you have other things they sell, it can sell over the Internet. Our days got sturdy set up a newbie. That's good. We all got to start somewhere, Robert. We all got to start somewhere.

Have you always been this entrepreneurial? How? How? How's Robert the man? How's been Robert all of his life? Right now, I used to be a father, a father of other people. But now since my wife and I retired, we had to figure something out. We're going to start our own business. So I guess I couldn't do and anything I can't take. I can't.

You're doing fantastic. Yes, sometimes with aphasia you cramp up and you the connection doesn't happen. Take your time. You're doing fantastic. Fantastic. OK. But I sense you're very excited about your new business. Oh yeah, very excited. My family and I we went to basic a a couple that is mentoring us in Kansas City.

Today was my first long trip since my stroke. How did it go? It went very well. Yeah. Compared to Pittsburgh, Kansas City as a new town for me. OK, nice. It was. It was exciting to go to a new to find new people. Yeah. See a new place I've never been before but I I love the rest always. Exciting to do that for sure.

I love going to new places. Yeah. So, Robert, I'm going to leave you the floor. I'm going to let you tell us your story and I want you to focus on how did you make it positive and resilient and how you are. So I want to know from where you started with your stroke. What happened to now? Well, I got 2 strokes that I didn't know about.

What I knew about the the right side basic gangola, which controls the embarrassing controls the balance controls a lot of it's like the computer center on my brain. OK, the next one I didn't find out until I went to my neuro. Last. Week and I found out a brain scan that I had a frontal lobe stroke.

That's very wow. My speech was affected. I speech. Yeah. Speech. OK. Unfortunately, being a talker all my life, the breaker chord paralyzed. No. After that I was really upset that I can't speak, but I could wait. Why? So my feelings got written down and I expressed my way that way. OK, I am. Go ahead.

Isn't it amazing that we're all affected differently? Your speech was affected, but you could write, you could see, you could, you know, you could do everything but speak. And for other people, they can talk, but they can't do anything else. Isn't it amazing how the brain works? Well, I am surprised that everyone is different that had a stroke and affected different parts of the of the body or the mind.

I belong to a support a support group. OK. There's three people, one younger well, both of them are younger 1 is in her early 20s. She had. Unbelievable. She had a hematoma and a stroke. She's been like that for five years. Can't move her arm. She wants to move it, but like she can't move it. I don't know why. The other one used to be a professional chef for a major restaurant.

He has it because his arm does not work. Holy. Crap, really. But I'm glad that I'm here. Of course gave. Me a second life and I'm going to use it to tell the people don't give up. No, you don't. It sounds funny when we. I remember 28 years ago when I had my stroke and people would tell me, Karina, you're young, don't give up. I'd be patient.

And I'm thinking to myself, shut the F up, you know, like, what do you know? But that many, many months after years after I found out that they were right, that you know when they said good things come to those who wait. And for I love what you said, we have a second chance to life. You had a second chance. You had to wait in order to realize that you got a second chance.

It wasn't like that. I always had a positive attitude being a German Aries guy. People say you can't do this. It's like, watch me, I will prove to you that I can do it. In the hospital. I was a pain in the butt. To the nurses, you can't do this. It's like, baby, I can walk, I can do it myself. Excellent. You know, I'm saying excellent because we and as a stroke survivor, did you notice that you were doing things that required you to be patient and just have endurance and go and you were motivated by people telling you you can't do it. That motivated you?

I've always been motivated by people who says you can't do this, you're too small. Well, an aunt can move a tree. Why can't I do it? Yep, absolutely. And and and we do things differently when we have a stroke, right. We don't all, we don't do it the way we used to. We don't do it like everybody else, like Tom, Dick and Harry. We do it like us.

Right. I believe that God gave me a second chance to survive The the a purse. The old mate is gone. He's dead. Let me get I'm like a Caterpillar. The Caterpillar dies and it becomes a beautiful butterfly. Yes Sir, it does. I love it. Yep. But I'm not beautiful. So you say. Yes, physically. So, well, listen, you know what? Oh, I like what you're talking about. Now, Robert, you know, beauty is like art. It's subjective.

So that means that perhaps when you look at yourself, you don't find yourself appealing or as handsome as others may think. Right. But I think that I've been married 30, I'm it's 34 years. So I think it's just being a Cordy person and I need to get back to that Cordy person that I am. That I'm sorry, but I'm I'm it's breaking out or I'm not hearing properly that what type of person you want to get back to. I want to be a quality person, getting back to so-called normal, but I want to be normal.

What is normal, Robert? What is normal? When you think about it, what is? Yeah, normal racing. It's like like you said, art is very seductive. It can be absolutely, yes, it can be. I, I, I love that you're bringing a little spiciness to all of this. Absolutely. And, and, and a lot of stroke survivors don't want to talk about their appearances or how different they look or they sound.

And you're very comfortable in who you are. I'm I'm getting there. I'm not. I know. I know I'm not very comfortable in my situation, but like I said, mine are taste minor strokes, but I can do things that people say. Let me do that for you. Well, no, let me do it the way I want to do it. Absolutely, Yeah.

Yep. Don't let anybody rain on your parade and thinking that you're like an infant and you can't do things because you can in the Robert way, Right, Right. So before when you're talking about being normal and I joked and I said what is normal? But it's true. I mean, I there's a certain way things are done, Yes, But once you have a stroke, things become done differently and people that don't accept that they can go out there.

When I was in a rehab hospital, there was a young a young guy he's giving up. OK. Gave up. So I went into the room. I closed the door and they said listen, I'm here. I can see you. I can listen dude. Listen, I'm in the same bed that you are, but God gave you a second chance, so use it. And what did he say?

He gave up. No, but when you said that, no, Robert, what I mean is that when you I know he gave up, you closed the bedroom door and you said, listen buddy, I got to talk to you. God just gave you a second chance and he gave me, Robert, a second chance. What are you going to do about it? What did the guy say when you said that?

Did he say get the fuck out or did he say you know what, you make sense but. I think they came, he told me. Get in, I get out. But I kept on being at a pain in the butt. Of course. I kept on him think let's go, let's do it. We can do it together. So he didn't give up. No, he's he is with another group that it's another stretch survivor group. So he so he came around.

He's isn't it amazing that you empowered somebody, Robert and some people exactly that they get down and I, I read a lot of comments on Facebook and whatnot. I don't look at the question, I look at the answers. OK. And it's amazing to see how people support each other. Because we're in the same boat.

Thank you. Yes, yes, I just made a handout. I'm going to have a question for you. I just made a handout workbook. You know, I'm always doing something. And because again, I remember what I felt like when people would say comments like you can't do that or should I be helping you? Or oh, you're young, you're going to get you're going to bounce back or it doesn't show you how to stroke.

People say things. How can I say people say things because they don't know what to say. So they just say what comes out of their minds. And I'm in my work handbook and I'm going to ask you, you get to reflect. I give it, I give it to people, I give it to stroke survivors. I'll send it to you, Robert.

But I want to know what is something people other than you can't do it. And you say, I'm going to show you I can, right? What are the things that people say that would really pee you off? Well, it's like a long time ago. Family member says you can't drive a truck. It's like bullshit. Let me let me try. And I've got my Komosa driver's license. I drive.

I rode a bike. That's going to be my goal since my stroke I my balance is off. Yeah, I want to ride A2 wheel bicycle without the training wheels. I'm not. Into training wheels, but I want to try without. Yeah, that's a nice goal. I don't think my physical therapist would like it, but it's a goal that I had. The one that really upset me is is they want to know if I can use a handicap bathroom.

It's like, do you have a chair? Yes, we have a chair. That's good enough for me. I don't need a handicap. OK. Bathroom. I got a handicap. Parking stub. Like no, I can do it. Oh, my friend Robert, trust me my friend, you are going to want the stub. I applied for my 10 years after my stroke, so I was already that's 18 years ago, OK, right. Mine expire.

I loved it. I expired because going to the shopping, I don't use it all the time, but I would use it, let's say during the holidays where there's a lot of parking spots gone or if I go to a festival or I go downtown and I want to get a good parking spot, right? So take advantage of it, Robert, seriously, you have it. Take advantage.

I'll tell you something cool. I don't know if it's like that where you live, but there was this big festival here in Montreal. And of course there was, it was an old Montreal and there was no parking nowhere. And we went to the at the beginning of the, you know, where the direct parking and they tell you where to go and whatnot. So I go to the man and I said, Sir, I have a handicap parking stop.

OK. Oh, he says, you can park right here, Madam. And it was. Free. It was $18.00 for everyone else and me was free. No. Do you do you have a wheelchair? Or you no. You can do it normally. Yeah, yeah, today hearing, I don't know again the laws in the states how it is, but here anybody with a physical or non physical disability are entitled to have a parking stop. I have a parking, Yeah, I have a parking sign. But today, like in physical therapy, I want other people to use it.

Not me, but I this week there's I'm going to the festival. I need that parking spot. Yes. My wife really enjoys it. Because of course. Because we use it. Come on. Yeah, You know what? I think that we all all, I'm putting myself in because I'm a stroke survivor, so I don't want it to sound like it's all about me.

I'm part of you guys. I know, you know, that's the beauty of it. I'm part of the community and there's a lot of misplaced pride and ego that we have because we say, oh, no, no, no, like I was just like you. I'm going to park because I want to leave it to someone. I walk. I can walk. So I'm going to leave the parking to someone who can't walk. So normally during the that's my reasoning. So during the holiday though, let me tell you, this girl uses her stuff.

I pick and choose when logically when I should. But you know what? If you have it, take your time. We knew it every other year when you have to. But honestly, the parking stubs are one of the best inventions in the world. Well, my my stroke. I walk with a limp and some when I'm in a store. I use the wheelchair when I used to.

OK. And people say you don't look like you're, you know, you're handicapped. But ma'am, I'm going to instruct you that I am handicapped and I'm going to use it. Absolutely. You know, it's funny that we turn the conversation to that, and that's fantastic because that's what we are. You and I, we always have conversations and the podcast videos are always conversation. So let's go.

Let's do it. I'm on the bus working downtown and I'm coming back home. I am pooped now. I worked in cosmetic cells back then so I had all my hair, my makeup done and blah blah blah. But I am pooped, right? So I sit in on the bus where the the seat is reserved for people with limited mobility or pregnant women right now.

Check this out. I'm sitting minding my own business. People start coming in, but there's still some available seats. But this older lady come and she's holding a cane now. So she's older and she has a cane. She's not 80, but she's older than me, you know, and, and thinking me all crimped up and she says, look, I have a cane, can I sit here? So I was a little bit offended and pissed. I gave her my seat.

OK, unwillingly, I gave it to her. I didn't want to start a big scrap, but it got me thinking. Do I need to walk around with my handicap part? Because I look when you look at me, I look reasonably fine. Unless I tell people I have a limp. They don't pay attention, you know, They don't notice because I just skew a lot when I talk. They don't notice that my left hand is clasped. It's like this.

I don't know this, you know, so it's like I understand people's point of view, but at the same time, do I need to walk around with a handicapped parking stub around my neck to tell you I deserve to sit here? That's that's the dilemma. But my heart said, you know what? Let let the other person sit. You better go right, pick and choose. Yes, that's something big and that we have to learn. Pick and choose.

Choose our battles right. Right. Choose our battles. I wanted to ask you, when you go to your meetings and you see other people like you said, the young girl that's in her early 20s or someone in a wheelchair, how does it make you feel like, like, how can I say? I felt relieved. In what way? That my stroke isn't as bad as hers, but I see them struggling, but they don't give up. They're fighting.

They fought on. They just maybe it's because I didn't, maybe it's because I didn't accept my disability. I had this mindset, OK, I'm not disabled. I always, even before the stroke people says you can't do this, but now I'm showing the world that I hate their words disabled. Yeah, you're limited.

Right, but people can do things that but not. To Amen. Yes, yes, 100% yes. Thank you. Yeah, it. Is because I did accept my my new life that other people can't do this. Maybe at the beginning I was upset that God gave me this body, but now if I can go and speak to other people about my ability like you are, we can make another people accept us. Yes, Yes.

Yes, yes. I love it. Yeah, yeah. 5054 I I always thought myself as a lion, but you told me that I'm that's your that's your woman. No, you, you are you. You have Robert, you too much. Wait, wait. Don't misconstrued what I said. Your spirit and your force and your fierceness is a lion, absolutely a lion. But when you get into these moods, 'cause we did get to talk a little bit, you and I, sometimes you are, but you are the biggest lion out there.

You, you're fierce. You are fierce, absolutely. And and that comes across people that see you, people where you are. They see that. And that's probably why they say you don't. You don't sound, you don't. You don't sound like you had a stroke because you're so fierce. So I get what people say and it's upsetting, but at the same time it's motivating you.

Right. And I use that motivation to motivate other people in our. Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Pay it forward, man. Yes. I love it. I love it. Have you ever done volunteer work? Before yes, after no, but I'm going to a stroke camp. Here. Here in Pittsburgh and I know I can help other people up also.

I belong to three different strip survivor groups and I I talk it that way I haven't gone to yet. I love it, Robert. I love it. You don't have to physically go somewhere to volunteer. You are volunteering whenever you go to your groups. You are volunteering your time and energy. You could not converse with people.

You could not give a crap, but you do. Right. Also at the end of the month there is a veterans going to the Washington DCI. Might be there, I don't know. That's huge. I always have a soft spot for veterans. Of course of. Course I might go to there if I can get out of what I'm supposed to do. That's huge. And I, I think it's going to be a huge, more like a huge motivator for you just to be surrounded by your people. Right.

Yeah, I anchor. You got my you got my vote, my friend, you got my vote. Well, listen, one last thing before we leave each other. What would you tell? I know you tell your stroke survivor friends and people in rehab and whatnot don't give up, but what else do you feel like telling them other than don't give up?

Why should they not give up? More importantly, why should people not give up? Because God gave you a second chance and use it. Of course you have some issues. Work on. Them don't give up. Fight for what you believe in. I believe that we can show people that we can do this with a lot of people's help.

Absolutely yes. Some people think us, oh, we can't do this. Well, why not? Let's go, let's go. Don't give up. It's like the Kentucky dirty. The guy came from last two minutes. So he didn't give up, did he? No, no, no, you're right. OK, I got the message. Don't give up. And that's a very important message. And I wanted you to tell the people why not to give up, and you did.

Thank you for that. Thank you, Robert for being here and being part of today's episode and being part of the different communities. I am going to leave in the description of the podcast the different communities on Facebook that you can be joining where you can find Robert and I there. So remember that you can watch the podcast on YouTube, of course, OK?

And Spotify, Apple iTunes and Google Podcast where you can listen to the audio twice a week. With that being said, Robert, are we done? Do you want to say something else before we leave? Thank you for the opportunity. You're very welcome anytime. My speech therapist. Yes. Waiting for this so maybe you. Did amazing.

Amazing. Maybe I can give her my autograph because I have another I have another podcast coming up. So maybe we could do that, yes. So that being that being said guys between me and Robert, we are saying we love you and don't give up and we'll see you soon. Bye, guys.

S11E3: KEEP ON GOING after stroke ( guest, Robert Moore)

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