S9E13: Find joy in unexpected places after stoke.

0:00 My beautiful survivor is This is Karina, the host and creator of this top 2 podcast. This show is all about showing you that there is life after stroke. Showing you how to move forward past the event of the stroke. Guys, if I can do it, so can you. I survived the brain stem dissection in 1999. At the time, I was 25 years old. It led me to coma in the locked in syndrome. But you guessed it, I'm right here with you and I want to empower and inspire you guys and give you hope that there is so much more life after stroke.

0:38 Make sure you grab a pen and paper because the faintus of ink is better than the best memory. Come and join me here as we're recording today's episode and you're not going to want to miss it. As I mentioned in my intro, guys, if I can do it, so can you. There's no reason why you can't. Now, before we commence today's show, I would like to do a little bit of clean house.

1:03 Remind you guys that you can like and follow on all in every platform that you're listening to your podcast. You can also subscribe if you're someone that is completely independent, you don't want to talk or you don't want to be with anybody else but yourself. You also have a subscription here in my podcast where it's $4.99.

1:26 You get 41 of my very best episodes. Those are things that I have done in the past 27 years, ways that I thought, things that I have done, people that I have encountered. These are things that have transformed my life and it has helped me survive this world as a survivor. So if that's you, go right ahead and subscribe for $4.99. Last thing, make sure that you share the podcast guys, share with Sugar Bear.

2:00 Let the algorithm know that we the movement of stroke survivors, we're not giving up and we're still going on strong. The more the algorithm sees that you're sharing the podcast, the more it also pushes the podcast to more stroke survivor community podcasts out there. So we all help each other out a lot. And I lied before when I said it was the last thing I lied. It was the sorry last thing.

2:31 This is the very, very last thing I suggest to you. Sit back, relax. Listen to this episode. You know why? Go ahead and download the episode today. That way you can relax, focus on what is said, focus on what your feelings are and what you're thinking, and next time when you listen to your downloads, you are going to take notes and maybe answer some of the exercises that I'm putting out there for you guys.

3:03 So that being said, you're ready. We're going to start today's show. Today's show has a couple of components because as I'm writing, I get so many ideas. As I'm writing the layout of the show, the layout of the land, I get so many ideas. And I came across a brand new expression for me. I thought I knew it all and trust me, I so do not.

3:30 There is such a thing as joy stroke. So we're going to talk about what is exactly joy stroke, how to get it, what are the positive that came out of having your physical and your physical stroke right now and a lot more. So like I said, grab your pen and paper because today is going to be very interactive. All right?

3:59 You know, when you have the stroke, you did not wake up one day and said I have nothing to do today on my agenda. I am going to have a stroke. No, it happened. It suddenly happened and there's positive and negative changes in there and we'll discuss more about that. But the fact is it suddenly happened.

4:25 Well, to have joy stroke, it is the exact same thing. It is a sudden urge of happiness and excitement that results in feeling euphoria. So I have a couple of questions. When you had the stroke, were you like me? And you were like, what the hell happened? I know something happened, I just don't know what.

4:53 And then were you wondering, am I supposed to be happy or am I supposed to always be sad? Chances are it it it, it awakens a lot of negative feelings in US, things that we buried over the years, and it comes back to the surface. That's one thing. But for many, many people out there, the stroke has awakened something.

5:23 Not just a second chance, but imagine someone that was maybe not living life in the cleanest, most kosher way, for lack of better word, OK? And they had bad choices, they were practising bad ways of living. And this second chance to life has given them exactly that. A second chance and a second look to how they're going to spend the rest of their lives. And there's so much good that came out of it because many people find religion, many people not religion as church, but religion, spirituality as in God and finding it in their hearts, the goodness of their hearts and the way they they choose to live their lives with other people. Some people stop taking drugs or stop drinking a lot, a lot. Some people stop resenting

6:31 people that they maybe they had. I, I know this for a fact. Some people had really crappy life in their childhood or their adulthood even, and when they had the stroke, they found forgiveness. Forgiveness is a very big part of recovery and rehabilitating our bodies and our minds and our emotion have to stroke. For me, it was always a battle.

7:04 The physical aspect of things came. It was, I was definitely, definitely, how can I say I was like deflated just like a balloon is deflated. But because I was so physical beforehand, I would work out. I would for me, the working out and the learning how to walk and stand for me was second nature. So I was OK with that.

7:34 What was really hard, guys, was the emotional and the mental illnesses that came afterwards that I had to clean up. That is the part of me that I allowed myself. I gave me the gift of having a second chance and using that second chance to clean up my shit, clean up my past for me. That's what it did for me. So this is when you take out your pen and paper because this question might stir up something in you and your first response might be nothing.

8:15 It did nothing positively for me. But when you really, really dig deep, maybe you can find a little something. So the question is very easy. Since you've had a stroke, do you feel that it has changed you in a positive way? And if it has, in what way? Of course, this is rhetorical, as in we can't converse.

8:41 We might be sitting around the virtual mental table. This is the feeling I want behind the podcast. You and I are sitting down and talking and exchanging stories. But I do know that technically it's it's my show. It's me that's doing most of the talking. But I want you to be there with me. And by asking you these questions, you may not comment to me, You may not never talk to me, even though I give you all my the ways you can communicate with me in my description.

9:19 But one thing that you can do to benefit from this time we have together is to answer these questions to yourself. I'm a big advocate in journaling. Journaling allows you to have a lot of clarity in what's going on in your space, in your world, around you, but also in your mind and in your heart. So by asking you, how do you feel that the stroke, first of all, do you feel it has changed you positively in some way, shape or form?

9:59 And the second question is how So by you seeing these things, those days where you feel shitty and you feel like the stroke only brought on negative, you can read yourself back and see that it is not the case. It is just this moment that you feel shitty and and everything is falling down because you wrote down some positive stuff. You see where I'm going with this? It is very healing, guys.

10:32 You have to trust me on this when it's healing. Now, As for joy, oh La La, what if I told you that you have a lot more positive, a lot more joy in your life than you may think? And we're not talking about just a second chance. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about laughing when your dog is doing silly things. When you're giving a bath to your dog and he's actually afraid of water and it cracks you up. These are little things.

11:12 When you eat, when your child is smashing their food on their little high chair table and they smash their food and they laugh because you laugh, That's joy. Pure joy, guys. Or when you're trying to put the sheets in your bed and your Kitty cat things you want to play, and as you're trying to straighten the sheets in the bed, the cat is going silly under all the blankets and everything, and you laugh.

11:46 And the more you laugh, the more the cat is being silly. These are moments of joys that you can cultivate by shifting your mind a little bit and allowing yourself that you can notice these things. Joy doesn't just happen, guys, and I would like for you to write this down. Joy doesn't just happen, it's cultivated.

12:16 Joy is a skill that I must learn. You could also write that. Pause the podcast, take your time to write. Joy doesn't just happen. Joy is a skill I must learn. A skill is something that you do over and over. You force yourself, you discipline yourself, and it happens naturally. Eventually it's going to become second nature to you, I promise.

12:50 You know how when we work out, when we rehab, when we do the bicycle or do some some squats to strengthen our our quads and our hamstrings, The more you do it, the more the muscle grows and the more the muscle becomes. How can I say it's second nature for it, right? Well, I can tell you this though, guys, even though I'm 27 years post stroke, I'm in a whole different ball game where I'm in my 50s, I'm 27 years post I, there's parts of my body, example, my left arm that feels so, so disabled right now and so hurtful.

13:46 Actually. It physically hurts. The spasticity hurts. I wasn't like that in my 30s and 40s. But I also have to think back because I was concentrating so much in making my life, my emotional and mental health better. And I started the podcast and I moved away from my marriage and I moved by myself and my life has changed for the better on that aspect. But the physical side of me has never felt more like a stroke survivor that's impaired as it does right now. So believe me when I tell you this and write this down, please.

14:30 When you don't use it, you lose it. Oh, yeah, baby, I'm serious. I told you that the show today was going to be about a few different things. Well, I want to give you joy in what you're going to be hearing right now. And again, I want you to rate from 1:00 to 5:00. One being -5 being good. Can you do that? Not for me.

15:00 I want you to see it and write this down. Pause the podcast. Take the time you need to write this down. And with the answers you're going to give yourself, you are going to be surprised. So I want you to write the very first thing you think of 1 being 5 being +1 sign that you are recovering very well after stroke and you're on the right track.

15:28 If your muscles are twitching, it is a, it's a sign of nerve regeneration. I'm twisting my words right now. Nerves regeneration. OK, that is a very good sign. Another sign. So right from 1:00 to 5:00, how you feel? Do your muscle twitch 1 to 5? Second of all, improved mobility. Now maybe you were in a wheelchair last month and this month you are using 2 canes or 24 legged canes.

16:09 Increased ability to move your limbs means that you'll be gaining balance, means that the equilibrium in your brain is is straightening up. That's a great sign. One to five. How is your mobility? Has it improved one to five? Third one, increased alertness. Most stroke survivors are affected cognitively in one way, shape or form. Now, increased alertness means that you are very much aware of what's going on around you and your very response, your your sense of responsiveness toward what's going on. You notice that you're paying more attention and you listen better.

17:05 You hear better and you respond immediately. You don't have to think. You don't do that anymore. If I say how are you today, you won't say and you're going to hesitate. The words are going to come out, your feelings are going to come out. How are you feeling today, John? I'm feeling OK. I'm, I'm a little bit off balance and I'm a little bit tired, but that's a great sign. Guys.

17:35 Increase alertness again, 1:00 to 5:00 if you're at a three or less, can you ask yourself, what would I need to do to bring myself to one level up? So if you're a three, you want to be a four. If you're a two, you want to be a three. You know where I'm going with this four thing. Better communication.

18:04 You have a you found lately that you have an enhanced ability to speak and understand languages and people understand you even better. So if nobody has told you wow, you sound better, maybe it's OK for you to ask. Please don't be ashamed. Ask. OK, another one. Emotional stability. Oh, that's a big one for me. You know that I'm all about emotional stability. Well, if you notice that you can handle your stress a bit better, that you're using some tools that you either have learnt here in the show or you read about Oregon, other people have told you and you find you're managing your stress better, that's a great sign.

19:05 You have less mood swing. Awesome sign. That means you're on the right track. You're not doing anything. You're not doing anything wrong. You are on the right track. There is no right or wrong way to recuperate. There is no right way to recuperate. There is only your way. OK, last but not least, you have gone through the grieving process and you started accepting.

19:42 You don't like it, but you started accepting that shit happens, life happens, the stroke happened. What are you going to do about it? You don't like it, but you get it. I'm proud of you for recognizing all these signs. Again, one to five, rate yourself. OK, so these are amazing tools. Keep the joy going in your life.

20:10 Keep seeing it. Today's show was all about seeing joy in your life in places you think you don't have. OK, this is what I have for you guys. Make sure you like, follow, subscribe, make sure you comment on all of on my Facebook group, sorry, on my Facebook book group or on Instagram or on any platforms that I'm on and I will see you very soon. The show was a bit longer today, but I promise if you do those exercises, you're going to see that it's well worth it. I love you immensely.

20:49 Bye.