S9E11:Save yourself from energy leaks after stroke.

0:00 Hello beautiful survivors, how are you? This is Karina, the host and creator of this Top 2 podcast. The show is not just about me sharing my stories, but it's showing you how to move forward past the events of the stroke. And I want to show you that there's so much more life to live after stroke. 27 years ago I suffered a brain stem dissection that led me to coma Interlochen syndrome.

0:30 But evidently I'm here today with you sharing all my tricks, hacks and how to's. How I got to survive the world as a survivor. Wherever yourself a drink, pen and paper, the faint as a ink is better than the best memory. Come and join me here as we are recording today's show. Before we commence, I would like to do a little bit of Clean House. First of all, I would like for you to like and follow on any platform that you're listening to your podcast. Also, it would be awesome if you paid it forward and share the podcast share with Sugar Bear.

1:09 If people want to listen to it, it's up to them, but you, you share and that is great. I love it. Thank you so much for your cooperation. That only tells the algorithm also that we are active as a community. I also ask if you can offer me a free gift. Go right ahead and download the episode. You know why?

1:35 Because you can sit back, listen to it today, and while you're doing something, recuperating from your stroke or maybe in PT or OT, listen to the episode that you downloaded and see how it feels for you. Today we're going to talk about energetic leaks. Do you know what those are? I'm going to explain, give a few examples and how you can remedy things you can actually say politely or even unpolite.

2:09 It's going to be up to you. But things you can say to save yourself from these energetic leaks. Do you guys want to laugh a little bit? My intro is the hardest part for me to record. Did you know that I don't record it and just put all the pieces together. I like to record and stop and resume. That's what I like to do with all my episodes. And it was a doozy today.

2:40 I must have done it 20 times. And actually this particular episode, guys, I had recorded another version of it before and I had stumbled on some words, but I kept on. I kept on on playing record. Why? Because I want you guys to see that imperfect actions, our actions. So we don't know if we do.

3:11 If we don't do anything, how are we gonna know if it works or not? I want you to see that I'm just like you. Maybe you're new at the game of stroke, meaning you recently had it, or you're 27 years down the line like me. It still happens. That's what I had to say on the parenthesis. So the official definition of energy leaks is that it's very subtle ways in such our focus and vitality are drained, leaving a feeling of you being depleted, frustrated and again, very much drained. And it can result itself in many different ways on the physical aspect, the mental and emotional. These this feeling these things of energetic leaks is the complete opposite of feeling energized. You feel anxious, fatigued,

4:17 overwhelmed. These could be stemming from unhealthy habits, maybe people around you, relationships. And my all time favorite for stroke survivors is ruminating. Ruminating is a big, big energy leak. So if you're wondering why are you so fatigued all the time, well, do I have to remind you that you had a stroke, your brain went through something traumatic and it's recuperating the the neurons and everything is reconstructing itself.

4:58 Your body at the same time is also reconstructing itself. Everything is a is a mechanism that works together as you ruminating to it, ruminating how you maybe were before the stroke, what you used to do before the stroke and you can't do it anymore in the same way. Therefore you think you can't, you can just in your mind you are done.

5:32 And that's why I, I decided to do a show and I decided to share that you are not done. You are just doing things differently. That's all part of recuperating from a stroke guys, is a lot of adaptation, a lot of doing things differently. And the more you persist on on resisting, the more you're going to be persisting on feeling fatigued, overwhelmed, and really angry and not happy.

6:14 I want you to be happy. Maybe you're going to say, Karina, what do I have to be happy? Everybody tells me I'm alive and I wish I died. You think I haven't heard that? Tons and tons of people feel the way you do. You're not alone here. You're not alone and this is the voice I want the show to have.

6:39 You are not alone and you are supported and I'm giving you those tricks that if you decide to just tweak one percent, 1% a day, not much, but just by tweaking your mindset, tweaking the, the, the resistance that's huge. The resistance. What you resist persists. What you resist persists. How long are you going to resist and keep crying over spilled milk, honey Bunny, the stroke happened. We don't have we're not asked.

7:25 Do you want to have a stroke? It just happens. God has nothing to do with it. No regrets are to be had by you because you didn't watch your cholesterol and whatnot and your blood pressure. It happened. That's the, that's what I mean. No use crying over spilled milk. If you cry over it, you're just making a bigger mess.

7:57 So how about we pick it up together with all the other thousands and thousands of people around the world? We pick it up together and we start over. That's what I want you to do. Start over. Yeah, But, Karina, I'm tired. I'm all. I have no energy. Well, that's why I'm doing this show today to maybe wake you up and see you don't need to have these leakage. You don't need to have this lack of energy taken from you. If other people do it, it's because we allow them. I learned that people only do what we allow them to, and that's going to change as of today. Yes, I got you honey, I got you.

8:54 Alright, so I'm going to give you a couple of examples. I worked at the Bay here in Montreal, which is the equivalent I will say from Saks 5th Ave. in the States. And I worked at my beauty counter and all. I had Chanel Gaglain and all the other beauty counters around mine. When it was quiet, the girls would yap talk loudly at that and I could hear everything that was said during the day. I could see the atmosphere in the department was getting heavier and heavier and they would talk about their problem, their personal issues or problems that they have with the company and some bosses or some girls. Just very negative me.

9:49 I was alone in my counter. I worked for Estee Lauder, so I was alone and I would always find something to do to keep myself busy, to not listen to them. But sometimes I just couldn't help it. And the girls would come to my counter and I would bluntly, nicely say, guys, I don't want to hear about it.

10:12 And I would walk away. When I would say that, I would walk away. Basically, I was severing the tie between their problems and me. So maybe they thought I was a bitch. Maybe they said, who does she think she is? I don't care. They were sucking my energy. And I decided I don't want them around me.

10:38 I love you. We'll talk about anything else, but not that by walking away, you are not just severing the tie between their problems and your energy leak, but you are also turning the page and you're not dwelling on the subject. Because then she's going to say something and I'm going to say, you know, it goes back and forth, back and forth.

11:03 Walk away. That's my secret weapon. In this particular case, walk away. Another concrete example, I live in a block where there must be at least 50 dogs. All kinds of dogs. Amazing. I love pets, you know that. Anyways, my best friend would go walk around the block with her dog. Now she knows everybody around and even though her dog did pee pee and poo poo, she would still walk, which is great. But everybody talked to her and she's so friendly and so nice and so quiet, the whole opposite of me. And everybody would start talking to her and she did not know how to say, I gotta go now, listen to what I do when I go walk my dog around the same block. I also know tons of people not like her. She's been here many years, 10

12:04 years. But I still know a few people around, right? Hey, hey, hey. Well, if somebody wants to start a conversation and I'm not in the mood, I have to go home. I have a podcast episode to do or I have cleaning to do. I have to get ready for work. I would walk and I don't stop or I stop, Hey, how are you?

12:28 I gotta go. I have an appointment and I would walk away. You see a similar pattern. You see a pattern developing here. I walk away. I command my life. I severed the time between other people's energy and me. Walk away. I'll give you another little brief example on a personal level. My colleague at the counter next to mine was young and beautiful and she had a boyfriend and her and her boyfriend was going in and out, in and out all the time.

13:10 It was on and was off, you know, and when she was off, she was actually happy my girl was back. And then she would say she got back with the boyfriend and her morale would go down. That told me and I was there to support her at that time. I didn't tell her to walk away or I didn't walk away. I stayed with her and I listened to her.

13:40 But at the end of a few months, actually maybe 6-7 months, I pointed out what I observed and she says, yeah, Karina as in the question. And I said, yes, the person she was with, yes, there was love between the two, but there was also a lot of toxicity. And that toxicity would bring her down. What did I do with that?

14:07 Yes, I listened to her and she made her own decision. But I took control of myself. And I remember the day we went for coffee on our break together and I told her what I observed. But then I said, you know, I already don't have this. These are the exact words I used. So if you have your pen and paper handy, write them down.

14:33 I already don't have a lot of energy to give. I want to be your best friend and I want to listen to you. But if you decide to go back with him, it's your decision and I support you. But please don't talk to me about it again. Not the good, the bad. If he was nice with, I want to hear if they went out to have fun. They had a BBQ, he bought a jewelry. I want to hear about that stuff, but I don't want to hear about the bad stuff.

15:06 And that was my choice. And I was very respectful for her. She appreciated how I said it, but at the same time, I protected my own energy. You understand? It's OK if you want to do and you do the exact same things. Steal my words if you want to, and if you're not sure and you don't remember what I said, send me Adm. I'm leaving you all my coordinates in my description. Send me Adm and remind me what do I say when people suck my energy and I will remind you.

15:43 How does that sound? Do you feel supported by me right now? One last example. I have a friend of mine. He's very, very, very nice, but he's like a sponge and he absorbs everybody else's problems and issues. So when we're together, he tells me about a third party and I give him a look and he knows, look, it doesn't mean I don't want to listen to him.

16:21 But after so many, it's two years now, I listen to him talk about other people's problems and I look at him and I say, but what is it to you? Is it your problem? No. Then why are you making it your problem? So many people or let me take it back for you, don't make problems with other people's problems and don't make problems out of nothing.

16:54 He once commented to me, Kareena, this could have been just an easy like, OK, I'm sorry and let it be. But no, Kareena, you had to make it a story. I am not perfect guys. I can be a little, a little intense sometimes, and I appreciated that. He pointed it out to me and I asked him to point it out.

17:16 If I do it again, which I know I will, that's friendship. So number one, walk away #2 walk away politely, as you say. OK, I'll see you later and and thirdly, don't make problems with other people's problems and don't make problems out of nothing would be #4 OK, you got this guys. This is what I have for today's episode.

17:50 I hope you enjoyed and like, follow, subscribe, make sure you download, you share the episode and you leave me comments here on Spotify or any platform you're listening to. I love you immensely. I gotta go now. Bye.