S9E17: Where to put Focus in life after stroke ( p2)

0:00 Good morning beautiful stroke survivors. This is Karina, your host and creator for the Stop 2 podcast. My show is all about moving forward past the events of the stroke. I am sharing all the different strategies, all my how to's, how I got to survive this world as a stroke survivor myself. You see, 27 years ago when I was 25I suffered a brain stem dissection that led me to coma in Lockton Syndrome. Evidently, I'm here with you today, sharing every single thing that I know and showing you that there's so much more life to live after stroke.

0:39 Do me a favor, grab a pen and paper because the faintness of ink is better than the best memory. Come and join me here as we are recording today's show. Today's show is going to be Part 2 of yesterday's show, which is called Focus on What's Important After Stroke. Before I commence, I would like to do a little bit of Clean House and remind you that you can like, follow and share the podcast, share with Sugar Bear on any and all different platforms that you are listening to the show.

1:15 You also know that I'm offering a subscription here for only $4.99. Those are 41 of my very best episodes. Those are things that help me survive and help me thrive and help me ensure and help me have joy again in my life. So I hope you find something. I know you are going to find something in there because that's why it's in the subscription.

1:44 There's only 41 out of my 231 shows that are waiting for you. So if you're someone independent, want to work by yourself, want to learn by yourself, you want to try things, go right ahead. Be my guest, but know that I'm always here for you when you need me. I also want to remind you to sit back, relax because you clicked on download. Yes, you are downloading the episode to listen to it again next time and take notes.

2:17 But for now, you're sitting back enjoying and getting the mind juices flowing in today's episode. All right, let's do this. So really the show came about because we all have a list of things to do, a list of different projects that are incomplete, whether you started them before the stroke or you started them after the stroke, they are still incomplete. So today in Part 2, I really want to focus on the why Is it an incomplete?

2:52 Why did you put it on ice? What is the reason behind your procrastination? Do you know the answer? If you know it, write it down. Like I say in my intro, the faintus of ink is better than the best memory. And sometimes when we see things in front of our own eyes, even things that we think or we feel, it kind of puts everything in perspective. Sometimes we don't think and we just write and we'll say, shit, did I do that?

3:26 Did I write that? Is that how I feel really? And everything can change from that moment on. Talking to stroke survivors all these years, the number one thing or one of the top things that I find is a problem is that you find you haven't accepted the stroke and it limits you physically and because you are physically limited, you think everything is done and over with and you can't do anything.

4:01 That is so bullshit. That's so not true. Honey, we are humans. We adapt. We are like chameleons. We adapt to our environment. What you resist persists. Maybe you had a hard time. You still have a very hard time accepting the fact that you are different. You walk different, talk different, stand different, things different.

4:32 Maybe you don't think, maybe you think you don't think. But I assure you, you do think. Everything in life takes a little bit of repetition and consistency in order to fix itself. But a lot of stroke survivors I find that I've spoken to tend to procrastinate, tend to put on ice things, projects. Maybe you started sewing a dress five years ago and before the stroke and now the stroke happened and you just don't want to approach that sewing machine anymore. I promise, if you give it a chance, you will find your way. You will not be doing it the way you were doing it before, but you are going to find your new way, your new reality. The faster you do that, you why get that dress finished? Maybe you're a writer that

5:37 started writing a book and before the stroke and now that you only have one operative hand, you think you will never finish that book. Bullshit, bullshit. Stop making excuses. You know you have one hand. You can still use that hand. You might have one finger on that hand. That finger is good enough to type. That finger is good enough to get your message out there. People want to read what you have to say, whether it's a fictional story or a biography, you have things that you want to say and people deserve to hear you and you deserve to get read. But another thing that I found over the years talking is that many stroke survivors out there are making, I'm saying this lightly and with love.

6:37 I want you to know that don't give me shit. Don't text me or send me messages of hey, I don't want that. But we don't have the luxury as stroke survivors to give up and we don't have the luxury of making excuses. So I just finished telling you that we are humans and we adapt to our environment and to how our reality is right now. And if you have not adapted, it is simply because you are resisting the change.

7:10 Why? Why are you resisting change? That's not in today's show. OK, But I want you to really, really be true with yourself. You owe it to yourself. Not to me, not to your spouse, not to your friend, to you. You are the most important person here, so why the hell have you been procrastinating? Why the hell have you been putting everything on ice and making excuses?

7:38 I want you to tell yourself your truth, but truthfully, I noticed that there's a big lack of motivation. Many stroke survivors think life is over after stroke, so they stay in their recliners and they use the clicker all day and they watch TV. Well, they stay in bed looking at the ceiling. That's not life, that's not life. My love, you have so much to offer. You might think you don't, but I bet if we get to talking, you will see for yourself that you do. So many people.

8:22 We have so much, me included, so much to do, Jack of all trades, master of none. We impose these things on us. We have so many projects that we want. We are so gung ho. I'm only 52 years old. I have 7 projects. If you listen to Part 1, I have six and seven projects going on. And now I just had clarity to sit my ass down and find my top three and stick to that and not spread myself thin. Not burn the candle up both ends. You know what happens when we burn the candle up both ends? We get disappointed.

9:06 Yep, Because stroke survivors are the most proud people I know. The people with the biggest ego. Because we want to prove we can do it. And maybe it's not proving it to others, maybe it's proving it to ourselves. I also just finished telling you I'm 53 years old. I'm not. I'm not gone yet. I have so many projects and juices, but I picked my three that are going to make the most impact. But they are also my priority.

9:47 My priority number one is that I want to help. I want to support, I want to guide. I want to be there because so many people have been there for me, even though I felt alone many times back then at my beginnings, I know I had help. I had to figure that out also. But I also did not have the help that I'm giving you.

10:13 I didn't have anybody back then telling me how stroke was going to be emotionally and physically and psychologically, physically, we all know it's it's it's, it's obvious. It's evident. OK, I'm not a physiotherapist, but it doesn't take brain surgery to know we are physically affected. What I care about is your emotions and your heart. And that's why so many of my shows are about alignment and about focus and about action.

10:46 All my shows are about action. This is what I would like for you today, to take actions on those projects and just do 11 stitch, 1 stitch on that dress. I bet you I'm willing to put my hand in fire that you can't do just one stitch. Because once you put your foot on that pedal, on that machine, on that sewing machine, you have a series of of stitches coming out. That's all.

11:20 That's all I want for you, 1 foot on the pedal, once for you, the writer, I want you to write one line. Heck, if you only have to write one word, what? Write one word? I bet you can't. One word is nothing. One word has no meaning necessarily. So unless you're an incredible, incredible brainiac writer and you have one word that gives the symbol of life, you're going to give me a whole entire sentence.

11:57 That's all I want. I don't want that for me. I want it for you. For me, it's important to help guide, and a part of me wants to protect your heart, wants to protect you guys. You know what part that is? That's my ego. Yep. You remember before I told you that stroke survivors are some of the most proud people I've met that I know, But it's also the most people that have the biggest ego.

12:30 I think after doctors, stroke survivors have the biggest ego. You know, I'm joking here, but the ego, it's a good thing, doesn't have to be bad. Your ego can actually push you in doing that thing you thought you didn't want to do. That stitch that sentence in your book. Give it a try. Give it a try, All right, this concludes today's show. I'm going to leave you all my coordinates in my description. Make sure you follow me on stroke surviving the odds of the podcast on Facebook and at SSTO under score the podcast on Instagram.

13:19 That being said, remember I love you immensely. If you have any questions, if you have any comments, feel free to go about it and leave it to me, but don't give me shit. I don't want to hear shit. I don't want to hear shit. Excuses. You're mad, I'm OK with that. Be mad, feel the madness. It's going to go away my love, I promise. Feel it 100% it will go away, but I don't want to hear shit to me, OK?

13:50 I love you immensely and I'm practicing tough love right now. Eh, I know, but you know that's what I do to myself. That's what I do to my dog. That's what I did to my daughter. I practiced of love. I make sure they know their love. I make sure you know you are loved and helping you is my priority. That being said, have a great sunny day wherever you are in the world.