Halloween Poets of 2026 (with Jeremy Elder)

0:04 Welcome back to Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists. It's Halloween week, and you know what that means.

0:09 That's right.

0:10 We're sitting down with this year's top Halloween poets. Variety chose 10, and we're sitting down with the five that we've chosen.

0:18 Every single year, this podcast does this. We gather around five Halloween poets. If you don't know what that is, there's three other episodes you can go watch to familiarize yourself.

0:31 And if you still don't know what that is, it's poetry about Halloween. Now, let's listen in. And here's a sneak peek. One of us made a really big choice.

0:40 Let's listen in.

0:45 Unbelievable.

0:45 I'm so excited to be here.

0:47 Wow.

0:48 Wow.

0:49 Cannot believe we made the list.

0:51 I'm a gog.

0:52 I'm so excited.

0:52 This is unbelievable to see all these faces here again.

0:57 Ripple bones. Hello. The famous Brimble Bones. Oh, stop, stop.

1:02 It's just me, Skeleton Brimble Bones, but I'm not here to take up too much space, of course. We've got some new faces here that we're very excited about.

1:11 Halloween's new faces. It is elite company here, you guys. It is elite company. I've read so much of your work individually inspired by each one more than the last. And I just have to say putting a face to the art is it's electric.

1:26 It's incredible. I'm buzzing to be here.

1:29 The voice to that.

1:31 It's so exciting to see.

1:33 It's so crazy to put a face to what you've done, too.

1:36 It's just crazy to put the face to it.

1:38 I'm just happy to be out in the public sphere, getting to know my fellow man, hanging.

1:42 Out together, you know?

1:43 It's incredible.

1:44 It's incredible.

1:47 Look at this.

1:48 It's connection. You're really strong. I'm sorry.

1:52 I don't know my own strength still. But anyway, you know, I guess I'm blabbing it all up here. I'll go ahead and start. Hello, everybody at home watching. I am Frankenstein's monster. And I topped number one at the list this year.

2:07 Let's give it up for Frankenstein's monster.

2:09 Guys, thank you so much. I think they should make it a tie. I don't like the rankings, you guys. Come on, Frankenstein's monster. Come on.

2:16 No, I really think that.

2:18 You know in the movie Mean Girls when they break up the crown and hand it out to all the other... I wish I had some kind of crown to break up and hand out to everybody.

2:26 That's very modest of you. But it's just an article.

2:28 It's just an article.

2:28 You can't break up an article into tiny pieces and hand it out to everybody.

2:31 You set a record as well because you are the youngest Halloween poet ever.

2:35 You're technically seven days old. Yes, this is true.

2:39 Yes, we're so excited. I'm so excited to meet you. I mean, you're not the type of guy I thought you would based on your poetry. You're so much more. lively and spiritual and connected.

2:50 Well, I've just, you know, I've gotten so committed to the form and I like that macabre sort of darkness to it, to these types of poetry. And I love some of the, you know, more of the candy, the trick-or-treating stuff. I think that's fantastic. But what I really have gravitated towards is that sort of macabre, you know, we know macabre, like a macabre feeling type of poetry.

3:07 Absolutely.

3:07 And I think it's incredible.

3:09 I think it's absolutely incredible.

3:11 Uh-huh.

3:12 But again, I know I'm new to this space and I just want to.

3:14 Say, I'm so- No, I want to say, can I say as an old guard, as a member of the old guard, you know, and I've been number one on the list several times.

3:24 So I got to say, you know.

3:26 It's important to have people you can talk to. So let me know if you have any questions. Let me know if they're not putting the right stuff in craft service. You know, I know all the guys at variety who make the top Halloween poets roundup.

3:39 I know all the guys.

3:40 So you let me know and I'll let you know if Ryan is adding the right candy.

3:45 Okay.

3:46 Ryan, Ryan, Ryan, Ryan, Ryan, Ryan, Ryan, Ryan. That's how I remember. Me thinks, me thinks I'm sensing chemistry.

3:53 No, oh, oh, please, please, please. No, come on, come on, stop.

3:55 You think I'm sensing chemistry?

3:57 No, but truly, Skeletor, I would love your advice because even the group text I got added to was a little overwhelming.

4:03 Did you guys think so? Absolutely, yes.

4:04 I agree.

4:04 I was like, oh my God, do I introduce myself?

4:06 And that's my bad.

4:07 I'm sending a lot of those really graphic texts with the emojis and the sex pictures.

4:11 Who's the green text?

4:13 Who's the, who's the, that's you?

4:14 Sorry. Oh my gosh.

4:15 Sorry, guys.

4:16 Why would you get a freaking iPhone.

4:18 You dog?

4:18 I'm so sorry.

4:19 I'm stuck on my Android like glue. I love the Android phone. It's right for me.

4:24 I just love it.

4:24 It's right for you.

4:25 But it's true.

4:25 I was afraid to ask over text, but Skeleton Brim and Bones, do you have a piece of advice for, you know, this start us off?

4:31 Hey, you know, I can see now that everybody at this table is a young gun, right? Nobody's been on this list before, or unless, you know, I won't speak for you. But I believe that the key to maintaining Halloween poetry that lasts is to not burn yourself out, right? You can't be hitting the pavement every single day.

4:55 You've also got to experience Halloween.

4:59 You need to experience Halloween in order to have Halloween to write about.

5:03 I'm supposed to go to a book signing on Halloween, and I think I'm going to say no. I think I'm going to say no.

5:07 You have to draw boundaries.

5:09 That's very good. It's very good to be able to draw these boundaries. Because Halloween, I mean, let me tell you. Halloween poetry, it is a ride.

5:19 You know?

5:19 Once you're on the ride, you can't get off.

5:21 And I feel like I'm just on the, like, when you're... Like, you're just, like, going up.

5:26 Oh, I remember that feeling. I remember that feeling.

5:29 That part. Like, the beginning of the rollercoaster. I remember that feeling. Trust me. You know, hold on to it. Take notes. Journal about it. Take lots of pictures.

5:39 Stay strong through the allegations.

5:41 Uh-oh.

5:42 What's going on? What's going on? What's going on over there?

5:45 We should go around the table.

5:47 Let's go around.

5:48 Well, I guess I should introduce myself.

5:50 Tee hee hee hee hee. They call me Boo-Mwa.

5:54 You're Boo-Mwa!

6:00 I am a mysterious masked Halloween poet gossip. I know all the industry secrets. And yes, I write a lot of anonymous, anonymous reports about things I've seen and heard in the industry.

6:14 And some people consider them poetry.

6:17 I remember when you broke the news about Ben Affleck and J-Lo getting divorced again.

6:26 Yes.

6:27 Your Halloween poem about that was, I'm so glad I found out that way.

6:32 And the prose, it's funny, you think you'd hear from the news, but hearing that type of news in sort of a Halloween prose I find incredible.

6:38 I don't know if you have it memorized, but I would love to hear how you wrote it.

6:41 I would love to hear some.

6:42 Anon, please. Man of Bat. Spotted with woman of ass.

6:50 Woman of ass. I missed that.

6:52 What?

6:52 Man of bat. Ben Affleck played Batman. Spotted with woman of ass.

6:58 Jennifer Lopez has a large ass.

7:01 It's weird.

7:02 His is his career and hers is her body.

7:05 It is weird. It's sitting weird.

7:09 Spotted in the graveyard. the graveyard of nuptials, the graveyard of the Los Angeles courts.

7:19 Interesting.

7:20 Rest in peace, Bennifer. Resurrection not planned.

7:26 Wow.

7:28 I love when like a breakup is announced and like them getting back together is just like shut down.

7:32 Yes.

7:33 And that's what I was saying. It's dead on arrival. It is six feet under. Those two are not coming back together.

7:39 Spooky. Spooky. Yes.

7:40 And I love doing that. And of course, a report on real celebrities and also. You know, speaking of allegations, I don't want to bring this up too quickly, but Frankenstein.

7:49 Okay. There are reports you killed a woman in the woods. What are we even talking about?

7:56 I'm just saying a little girl was in the woods and you apparently were playing with her and then threw her across.

8:04 And she hit a tree and died. That's all I've heard. Media training, media training, media training. I am going to move on from that topic of conversation. Say it three times.

8:12 Say it three times and it gets it out.

8:13 That's the greatest one.

8:15 If I can offer a little tip, you don't say media training before you do the spin because then.

8:20 People know it's sort of a media training spin.

8:23 I just don't know how to remember to do it otherwise.

8:25 I think it's a spell. You like to say it.

8:27 It feels sort of like a spell. Media training, media training, media training. I wasn't there.

8:31 It's as simple as that.

8:33 Media trading like Beetlejuice. I invoke media trading, much like Beetlejuice. I plead media trading. He's such a good guy. I love his work.

8:43 His short stories, Beetlejuice has gotten into these beautiful short stories.

8:47 He's working so hard. I think he's having a lot of fun when he's writing those. He's the modern Bukowski. He's the modern Bukowski. And rest in peace, of course. To Snarls Bukowski, of course. To Snarls Bukowski. Resting in peace, that's not what I heard. I'm the only one with a freaking coffee here at 4 p.m. Oh, you have one.

9:06 Okay, I knew.

9:06 I saw a freaking Java addict over here. Let's put our freaking cups up.

9:10 I want to put our freaking cups up.

9:11 I have a scary drink.

9:13 Liquid death.

9:15 Just kidding, of course.

9:16 To Bukowski.

9:17 To Snarls Bukowski, of course.

9:19 Go ahead. Let's keep going around.

9:22 What's up, guys?

9:26 Hi, guys.

9:26 My name is Sarah Burellas.

9:29 Oh, Sarah Burellas.

9:31 Wow. Unbelievable.

9:33 I have wanted to get this variety's recognition for my entire career.

9:41 And I am so happy. And I can't believe it happened on a day I have a cold.

9:44 That's so hard.

9:46 You still came out.

9:46 That's what's incredible.

9:47 And I still came out. So I want to sing and I want to. I want to do some of my work, but I do have a cold.

9:52 I mean, such a legend. I'm so sorry to hear you're not feeling well because your work is so prolific. I mean, sit down. on the dock of the boo sitting on the dock.

10:02 Of the boo a famous sarah burella's track.

10:07 She has a great cover of it i mean i would.

10:10 Say for me is the one giving us a.

10:12 Couple lines on the dock of the boo Wait, what is, I don't, Shittin.

10:17 On the dock as a boo.

10:19 That's Sara Bareilles?

10:21 It's Otis Reddening is who actually wrote it.

10:24 This is my mistake.

10:25 Reddening like blood, of course.

10:27 I'll start with just a little, not even a full poem, just the intro to a poem.

10:33 The best part?

10:34 Boo, boo, boo, da, da, da, ba, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, boo, boo, boo, ba, da, da, da, da, ah, ah, ah, head under, And you tell me.

10:46 Scary, already scary. Already very scary. I am already frightened. I have been awoken in the night at the mere image of a head under a bucket.

10:56 That is spooky. This just in, I'm freaked out.

11:00 Head under bucket. Could that be scarier?

11:02 Head under bucket. A lot of people turn it off right there.

11:07 I've never gotten past this in the song.

11:09 It's so scary.

11:10 Head under bucket. And you tell me.

11:14 To breathe easy for once.

11:16 It's the same.

11:17 The head is under a bucket.

11:18 Breathing gets harder. Even ghosts know that. Make room for me.

11:27 I'm a me. And I'm happy in your head.

11:31 I actually love that. That's really sweet.

11:33 I'll do more later.

11:34 It's a nice reveal because you wouldn't think a mummy was under that bucket.

11:38 I mean, it's crazy to think of a mummy with a bucket under their head. I've never heard of it. I've never also heard head under bucket. Head under bucket. Well, you've probably never been there.

11:48 Well, it's also because a mummy is scary on its own. But imagine a mummy. With a bucket on its head.

11:54 Imagine helping some poor bloke and taking off a bucket because it seems like there's an issue.

11:58 Boo, it's a mummy.

11:59 Scary.

12:00 I think what I love about my poetry is it's taking Halloween figures and putting them in a spot that I love to hear about, which is middle school.

12:09 Yes.

12:09 Your first love. Yes.

12:11 Like mummies, we see them as these retired old figures.

12:15 Yeah.

12:15 But I want to see a mummy scared to.

12:17 Take his head out of a bucket.

12:18 Yeah.

12:19 Because he's scared. Because he's like a kid.

12:21 No, you show the softer side of Halloween. Halloween is a sentimental time. It doesn't always have to be scary things. It doesn't always have to be Kit Kats and, excuse me, Frankensteins. You know, it can be these sort of human experiences. It can be the sound of a ghost growing up.

12:40 Well, and I love your musical, Weightless, Tris.

12:42 Yeah.

12:43 Weightless Tress.

12:44 Weightless Tress.

12:45 It's a deep project of mine. I mean, to write this, to write, I should just sing it.

12:56 Yeah.

12:56 You should. Oh, please.

12:58 When you, the song with all the ingredients of the scary pie? Is that what you're going to sing?

13:04 Sugar, blood. Dead towers.

13:11 Dead towers. Jesus Christ.

13:15 Jesus Christ.

13:18 Sugar, blood, dead towers. I'll leave it there.

13:24 It's just so evocative.

13:26 Can I say, and I was talking to counselors.

13:32 Count Dracula, and he, we, we... Name drop, you dropped this.

13:37 He is a friend, and we were talking, we get coffee every, probably every two weeks we get coffee, just kind of chat, and we were talking about your songs. We were talking about all of your songs, and yours, I really mean this, I would not, Sarah, I would not lie to you about this sort of thing.

13:50 We were talking about your songs.

13:52 And we were saying that even not having lived a monstrous experience, you seem to have really tapped into it. I think you're a profound listener, and I feel heard. And look at me when I say I really mean that. And you have a gift.

14:06 I love you.

14:06 I love you, too.

14:07 I really do.

14:08 I appreciate you.

14:09 That's amazing. God, God, it's just so good to be here.

14:12 God.

14:13 So beautiful. I love that moment. Don't get too close to him.

14:16 Stop.

14:16 That's media training, media training, media training. I love and respect women.

14:20 Let's keep going.

14:22 Hi, guys. I'm really excited to be here.

14:25 I'm so excited that some of my poems and silly rhymes have made it.

14:29 I'm, of course, Shell Silver Scream. Yes, of course you are.

14:33 Of course you are. Yes, you are.

14:35 Scream!

14:36 Yes, I am known for quite a fun poem or short story, if you will. I call them kind of scary boos, is what I call them. I'm very excited. I'm kind of, you know, a little bit nomadic. I'm a little bit I keep to myself, and I stay, and I move a lot. But when I'm living, and I'm dying, and I'm learning, and I'm loving.

15:00 I have to tell you, when I was a little kid, my grandfather read The Sinning Tree to me every single day.

15:08 Not The Giving Tree? Because The Sinning Tree is pretty.

15:10 For a child, that is rather perverse. I don't know what The Giving Tree is.

15:15 I think it's my cold.

15:18 Yeah, it must be your cold. The Sinning Tree was written by Shel Silver-Scream. Yes, yes, yes.

15:23 The Sinning Tree is written by Shel Silver-Scream.

15:27 Yes.

15:28 Try saying that ten times fast. You said shitting.

15:31 Exactly.

15:32 Okay. Sarah Bareilles said shit. So that's not gossip.

15:36 That's not gossip, right?

15:37 Anon, please. Anon, please.

15:38 Sarah Bareilles said shit. Sarah Bareilles said shit. And it's Bareilles?

15:42 That's going to do numbers.

15:43 Anon, please. How is that?

15:46 You can't report that. I'm so sorry.

15:48 Anon, please.

15:50 Eat shit you would be shocked at what I can report but I love the sinning tree where the boy goes to get different sins from a tree until of course there are no sins for the tree and it's just a little stumpy and he's full of sins and then he's brimming with sin.

16:01 And he decides to sit on the sinning tree for one final sin covet thy neighbor.

16:07 He just sat on the tree and got jealous of his neighbor.

16:11 He sat on the tree and.

16:14 Looked through the window of his neighbor's house and went, I.

16:16 Want to fuck that guy. Yeah, that's what covet thy neighbor means, right? That is what covet thy neighbor means. It's just a commandment. That's the best part. Do not, do not, do not covet thy neighbor.

16:27 So, it's very exciting you know when he first shows up and he does uh he's in the tree he goes like i'm so energetic the tree goes here take some sloth take some fatigue and he goes oh i'm so i'm so happy and joyous for other people here take some envy oh i don't mind giving money take some greed it's really a.

16:55 Life lesson yes yes what.

16:58 The weight of sinning does you know and i loved i loved thank you so much.

17:02 Thank you and sinning is such a wonderful part of halloween It's so wonderful.

17:08 They're so interconnected.

17:10 It's foundational.

17:10 It's foundational to Halloween.

17:12 Instead of trick-or-treat, it should be called sin or seat is what I've been campaigning for years.

17:17 Oh, yeah.

17:17 Take a sin or sit down.

17:18 And covet thy neighbor's wife.

17:19 Or sit down and covet your neighbor's wife already.

17:22 Like, knock on the door.

17:23 You're either going to sin or you're going to come inside and you're going to sit.

17:27 Wait, what's everyone's favorite sins they've done recently?

17:30 Oh, wow. Oh, wow.

17:33 Media training, media training, media training. Gluttony, I ate a hamburger. Oh, you're bad.

17:38 There's no other sins.

17:40 That's my one.

17:41 I had wrath. Well, my plumber. put in all the wrong tiling.

17:47 He came into the bathroom. Well, you shouldn't be having a plumber do tiling.

17:52 Mistake number one, skeleton. Mistake number one. So the sin is stupidity.

17:57 And, you know, I never say, but I, and I got so angry because, you know, he was doing this. I had a specific vision in my mind. I sent him this architectural digest, you know, this whole bathroom. It was going to be great. And he said he could probably figure it out. And he just didn't do it. It just wasn't the same. It just wasn't the same vibe.

18:17 I wanted this cerulean blue. He wanted this teal tile.

18:22 It just was a mess. And I'm not proud of it. I screamed, screamed, screamed, screamed, screamed, screamed, screamed. And that's wrath.

18:29 Wow.

18:30 You screamed at a plumber. Yeah.

18:31 I screamed at a plumber.

18:32 I would consider that light wrath, I guess.

18:34 Yeah.

18:34 It's a light wrath.

18:35 Well, actually, I was wondering, Skeleton Bimblebones, are you still doing the poems for the month?

18:41 Yes, the calendar.

18:42 The calendar.

18:43 Oh, the calendar.

18:44 It was such a success last year.

18:45 I just wondered, personally, if you're doing that again or if it's a new idea.

18:48 Or if you moved on to something else.

18:50 Can you talk about your works and what you've done?

18:52 Of course, of course. What have you been up to this year?

18:54 Adultery.

18:55 Whoa.

18:55 Oh, well, that's spicy.

18:58 Sarah Buelis cheated on her husband.

19:01 That's better than said shit.

19:04 Anon, please.

19:04 That is a little bit more juicy. Anon, please.

19:07 Anon, please.

19:09 What's new? Tell us everything.

19:10 Well, you know, I am still doing, of course, my yearly roundups of the year in Halloween.

19:16 But there's been a big difference in my life. Whoa. And it's that I found out I have some little bones running around.

19:25 What?

19:25 I have a kid.

19:27 You have a child?

19:28 I have a kid. Oh, God.

19:31 I have a kid. Because I guess with a skeleton, you don't know if little bones running around might be illness.

19:35 I thought you were sick.

19:38 Oh, thank God.

19:38 You've had children or you've discovered you have children?

19:42 I have discovered I have children.

19:43 Wow.

19:44 I found out, you know, a woman came to me and she said, hey, skeleton, remember that night? we shared at Outside Lands 15 years ago?

19:53 Mm-hmm.

19:54 This is your kid.

19:56 You skeleton rebel bones.

19:58 Yeah, who was headlining that year?

20:00 15 years ago.

20:00 15 years ago, you fucked somebody.

20:02 15 years ago, it was OK Go.

20:04 OK Go tore the house down at Outside Land, and I met this girl.

20:10 Who was just a fox.

20:12 Aw.

20:14 You love this, boo.

20:15 I love this.

20:16 You love this, boo.

20:17 Aw.

20:18 We shared a wild night together and I wrote a Halloween poem. I found, you know, I found the Halloween poem from the first night we met.

20:25 Sorry, I had just a quick clarification.

20:27 Of course. Is this Outside Lands or Outside in the Appalachians Lands?

20:31 Which one is it?

20:32 So this is Outside Lands, the music festival.

20:34 Great.

20:35 Outside in the Appalachians Lands is another festival.

20:37 It's just very scary because lots of weird things.

20:39 Oh, it's very scary.

20:41 No, this is... Try my best here.

20:43 Go ahead.

20:46 That would make sense, but I ended up at normal Outside Lands.

20:52 Listen, so this woman.

20:53 You met a fox.

20:54 I met a fox.

20:56 Aww!

20:57 I met a fox.

20:58 She rocked my world. And this is a poem.

21:01 This is a Halloween poem from the night at Outside Lands when we first met.

21:06 Wow.

21:09 Oh, baby, what a Friday. I'm about to have a crazy nightie.

21:19 Girl walks up, dancing scary, getting me all screechy hairy. I think there's something here between us. Scary, scary, scary penis.

21:45 Oh, baby, what a Friday.

21:47 Oh, baby, what a Friday.

21:48 You come back every year.

21:51 Apparently, nine months later, out popped my kid. And we know, I wish I could show you a picture. They're half bones, half skin.

22:00 That sounds like an injury.

22:02 Sounds bad.

22:05 Well, because, you know, she was a healthy human woman.

22:08 I am, of course, a man made of bones. And they, you know, it was split right down the middle.

22:14 Vertically.

22:15 Vertically.

22:16 So this kid, I wish you could see this kid.

22:18 He's so, he's just like me, just like her. He's got her eye, right eye. So the right side is all her, human looking person.

22:27 It's literally her. It's actually her.

22:29 The right side looks like her. And the skeleton side looks like me.

22:34 Wow, that's amazing.

22:35 And it's filled my heart up. You know, it's reprioritized everything in life.

22:40 That's amazing.

22:40 Now, here's the big question.

22:42 Do you want your kid to get into Halloween poetry, or do you think that that's like, you want.

22:47 To put them on a different question?

22:49 Oh, brother.

22:49 Are they interested? Do they ask?

22:51 Oh, I mean the other day he rhymed hug with bug and I thought, oh, here we go.

22:57 That could be Sprig. That could be Sprig poetry.

22:59 He's like 15, right?

23:03 He's 15 and he just rhymed hug with bug.

23:05 He's 15, he just rhymed hug with bug. So the signs are there.

23:12 That's really bad.

23:14 By the time he gets to college, who knows, he might join a.

23:17 Halloween poet troupe.

23:17 Yeah, sure. And he only has really half a brain, I imagine.

23:20 Skeleton, this also makes me realize kind of something about you because I've noticed some of your work feels like it's going a little bit more towards the Money-grabbing.

23:32 You used to be, and I don't want to be kind of a bitch.

23:35 You are too much. No, no, say it, say it, say it.

23:39 If there's something you want to say, you can say it to me.

23:42 Kiss, I'm just saying you've been moving into astrology, and I can tell you've been doing a lot of astrology poems.

23:48 Oh, you can tell I've been moving into astrology.

23:50 I just think your astrology poems are a bit of a cash grab.

23:53 Maybe she has to pay the bills. I have an astrologer, okay? I have a Halloween astrologer.

23:59 And, you know, I've been found that this collaboration has been a really useful collaboration, and a lot of people want to hear it. Look, people have to grow and change in their work.

24:09 What are the Halloween astrology signs? Are they any different than the regular ones?

24:12 That's such a good point.

24:13 Do we want to go around and say our signs and see what the current astrology sign is?

24:16 Yeah, let's see. Our chart?

24:17 Well, I'm a scary sun.

24:20 So they are different, yeah.

24:23 They have to be that.

24:23 You're a scary sun. Your sun sign is scary sun?

24:26 My sun sign is scary sun.

24:29 My moon sign is gem and eyes.

24:38 Imagine seeing eyes where you don't expect them.

24:44 It's terrifying.

24:45 It's really scary. It's really scary.

24:48 And of course, I am a, my rising sign.

24:52 Rising from the dead sign.

24:53 Is a Virgo into the graveyard. Virgo into the graveyard.

24:57 Virgo into the graveyard. Virgo into the graveyard, of course.

25:00 Virgo into the graveyard.

25:01 You're rising from the graveyard, or rising from the grave sign is Virgo into the graveyard.

25:07 That's amazing.

25:08 Okay, beautiful.

25:08 Okay, what's everyone else's signs?

25:10 It's amazing. Okay, my birth sign. Frank Sinise thinks his signs are amazing. That can't be.

25:16 That's not possible. That's not possible.

25:18 Anon, please. Anon, please. Anon, please. I'm proud of my birthday. I'm proud of my work. So, you know, I'll be honest. I love your astrology. I don't have it memorized. I was born seven days ago, and it's October, of course.

25:30 What does that make?

25:31 What does that make me? We can just look at this.

25:32 Let's look at our poems.

25:33 Look at your books.

25:34 I don't know this stuff, and I'm fascinated by it. I think it is so fun. I think it is inspiring, but I don't know anything about it.

25:40 That might make you a badatarius.

25:42 Is it a badatarius?

25:43 A badatarius.

25:44 Or a ratpricorn. Ratpricorn.

25:46 Do you know what time you were born?

25:48 I was born at the strike of midnight, I believe.

25:50 Oh, yes.

25:51 No, that means you're a Leigh Brawl ward by a witch.

25:54 Say that again, by the way.

25:56 A Leigh bra worn by a witch.

25:58 A Leigh bra worn by a witch.

26:00 A Leigh bra worn by a witch. It's the scariest bra.

26:03 A Leigh bra worn by a witch.

26:04 Leigh bra worn by a witch.

26:06 Yeah, that could mean that. Probably your, yeah, that's. You might be a cancer.

26:14 Cancer's very scary.

26:17 Scary thing, so true. I guess it could be any of these things.

26:19 And your Scarecury could be in the seventh haunted house. In the seventh haunted house.

26:27 Wow.

26:28 That's incredible. That's amazing for you. It means good things.

26:31 If that's true, if it is in the seventh haunted house, then that means your Venus is in Leos.

26:43 I thought it was LeBron.

26:44 No, there's Leo.

26:45 And there's LeBron worn by a witch.

26:47 And then there's Leo.

26:49 Oh, this is Leo.

26:50 Leo, of course. LeBron worn by a witch.

26:53 This is all so new to me, and I absolutely am obsessed with it.

26:57 You'll be Halloween soon. You'll be Halloween soon. Just wait till the emails come in. Can we all go around and read the poem that got us most considered this year? Because I think we all had one that variety. Scariety was very excited about.

27:12 Yes.

27:12 Can we start on this side so I can get up and get a tissue?

27:16 Yes.

27:16 Go, please. I feel so bad that she's unwell.

27:20 It's actually, in Halloween world, it's good to be sick.

27:24 Damn.

27:25 Okay, I'm new. I'm here seven days.

27:27 You're new. She's happy right now.

27:29 This is good. This is good. Do you know who else is sick right now? Oh, gosh. Here we go.

27:33 Stop.

27:34 Stop and walk. Scary Connick Jr. has the same illness. You think that Sara Bareilles is hooking up with Scary Connick Jr.? I'm just saying. Could be happening.

27:46 So that's a little bit more interesting than Frankenstein thinks it is.

27:50 You should spread that one out. You haven't even written that down. You're just talking about it. Well, I don't know.

27:54 I don't want to blow anybody's business. That seems old hat. But Frankenstein... What did I write? I don't know.

28:01 You wrote that I like my birthday. Anon, please. I think my birthday is amazing.

28:08 I will go on record. I don't think there's anything not scary about an old hat.

28:12 Okay?

28:12 Old hats can be scary because who wore them? That's what I always think.

28:16 Who wore them? It's a hat that invites a question.

28:19 Oh.

28:19 Well, I'll start with a little bit of a poem. Oh, sure.

28:22 Oh, so please show us the poem.

28:25 Welcome back.

28:27 Welcome back. Sorry.

28:29 Sorry.

28:30 I'm so much better now.

28:31 Oh, that's great.

28:32 Oh, that's so nice.

28:33 But I am grateful to be sick at this time.

28:35 Did you just blow your nose?

28:35 Did you take a call or anything? That's okay.

28:39 I didn't take a call.

28:40 You didn't take a call?

28:41 I blew my nose.

28:41 I just felt like maybe you were talking to somebody. I heard some.

28:44 I don't mean to be nosy.

28:46 I just heard like a... Maybe talking to a booner.

28:50 A booner?

28:52 A spooky crooner. Like a spooky crooner, a booner. A boner?

28:56 A spooky crooner, as we know as a booner.

29:00 A booner?

29:02 Okay, read your poem. Read your poem. It's okay. It sounds like you weren't talking to any sort of spooky crooner.

29:06 No, I wasn't.

29:07 That's okay.

29:08 I have nothing to hide.

29:10 Maybe I'm not that spooky of a person. I have nothing to hide.

29:13 Okay. I'm so sorry. I'm really sorry for saying something like that. That was very rude of me. We're going to read some poems.

29:18 I appreciate you.

29:18 I appreciate you. This one's called Last Night at the Monster Mash.

29:23 Oh.

29:25 In the bathroom, Frankenstein is fucking a werewolf. What?

29:29 In the living room, Dracula is giving head to a siren.

29:34 Oh.

29:35 In the backyard, a chipmunk is getting his ass exposed. ate by a banshee.

29:42 A chipmunk?

29:43 This feels like more than Dubois usually reveals.

29:47 What's Halloween about a chipmunk?

29:49 In my bed, my eyes open. I had been sleeping. I had been dreaming. And God, oh God, I hope when I close my eyes, I get a ticket back to that ghastly horror show. Because sometimes mess is so much fun.

30:08 The end was spooky.

30:10 This is so funny and so silly.

30:12 And I think that's great. Were you there? You can't be talking about stuff like that. That was a highly confidential party.

30:20 You cannot be.

30:21 Were you fucking a werewolf in the bathroom? This is highly uncalled for. I didn't read this poem. You should have told me about this. I had to find this. This is insane. I didn't know that I knew the truth.

30:32 No, I mean nothing.

30:32 I mean media training, media training, media training.

30:35 A nun, please.

30:36 Yikes.

30:37 No, not a nun. I want you to stand on your word and talk about this. This is not nice. Hey, hey, hey, hey.

30:42 Rumors are dangerous, and they're not kind to be spreading about people.

30:45 Rumors are spooky. Rumors are fun. Rumors are how we know what's real and what's not.

30:51 Yeah, I would say rumors are spooky. I think they fall on the spookier side.

30:54 There's something there, the spookiest kind of thing to say to someone.

30:58 Hey, listen, I think we're getting really thrown off. I think your energy is so, you're just trying to stir stuff up.

31:05 Yeah.

31:06 Am I?

31:07 Like, I don't even know what happened. I didn't take a call with a booter.

31:11 Scary Connick Jr.

31:12 Scary Connick Jr.

31:13 I didn't do anything.

31:15 And nothing's going on with Frankenstein. I think we should just drop our swords. I think you can write poetry and not activate all of us.

31:21 I was literally reading what I wrote. Did you happen to be triggered?

31:25 This is devilish. This is devilish. And in a bad way. I'll say that. I'm not spreading drama, guys. This is just something I wrote. That was a dream I had. If I'm a precog, then so be it.

31:38 Okay, now boom-wah is precog.

31:42 Oh, great.

31:54 Well, Frank can say one about your poem.

31:56 Okay, great.

32:00 Well, I can just read my top poem. It was my first poem, and because I had a name, people were very kind, and it got spread around in a very nice way.

32:09 It was a good poem. It was a good poem.

32:11 It was my first attempt, and I wish I had more time to be in the clubs and build this up, but I'm happy that people enjoy it.

32:18 It's great.

32:21 Frankenstein, Frankenstein, so tall and green. Frankenstein, Frankenstein, not so mean. He's tall as hell. A handshake firm.

32:32 Sit at Frankenstein's table. He'll feed you some worms.

32:36 It's great work. It's great work. It's great work. So you wrote a poem about yourself.

32:43 You talked about how tall you were twice.

32:46 You wrote a poem about Frankenstein. I can't write a poem about Frankenstein. It's a great work. It's a great work.

32:51 It's really good.

32:52 It's a lot about how tall you are. They say write what you know.

32:55 Aren't you made of man? Why do you eat worms? I think it's nice.

33:00 I like to offer it to other people.

33:01 It's very nice.

33:03 I don't think the Halloween Nepo allegations are true. I think you can't listen to those people. They're saying, oh no, you only got this poem in because he's literally Frankenstein.

33:14 That is all just noise. That's all noise. Just because your dad.

33:19 Frankenstein, invented you, Frankenstein's monster, and also kind of invented the whole category of halloween poetry doesn't mean anything.

33:26 No this isn't about father come on you've.

33:29 Been through your own thing you're made of other body parts like i guessed your nepo but you had a journey you had.

33:35 A journey i've been through a lot and is your.

33:38 Arm nepo is your leg nepo those are from other people.

33:41 These people have these people were stupid they had no lives at all yeah and now i've put these pieces together and built something great i.

33:46 Think i want to say something uh vulnerable that your publishers reached out to all of us to make an encouragement in the forward.

33:56 And I wrote great work before reading it. And I stand by it.

34:01 You do?

34:01 Yeah.

34:02 I think I was surprised when it first came out because I went, wow. But I still believe it's great work.

34:07 It's great work.

34:08 Thank you.

34:08 Thank you so much.

34:09 And I just, I'm excited to see where you go.

34:12 Yeah.

34:13 You're so young.

34:14 You're so young.

34:15 Seven days, I want.

34:16 To get better.

34:17 Little Birdie told me that that was optioned into a movie.

34:20 It's, Is this, this isn't live, is it? Maybe we'll cut this. We can cut it later if you want. We can cut it later. It is being turned into a movie.

34:28 And what is being turned into a movie? And what?

34:32 How tall you are? My poem, my book of poems. Not just that one poem.

34:35 So what does it follow?

34:36 All of the poems collectively sort of tell. Okay, we'll read another one.

34:38 Yeah, yeah. I'll tell the one, I'll say.

34:41 The one that I brought to the pitch at Warner Brothers that I think really kind of won them over.

34:45 Oh, okay. That's great.

34:48 Craning my neck as tall as I can. For what is that? The world's tallest man. Franken signs his name, and boy is his handshake firm. I wish I could crawl all the way up that tall, tall man to eat his lovely worms.

35:07 So that's what really sold it.

35:09 This is so much about Frankenstein that I wasn't thinking about before, which is that he's tall. I think that the main thing people focus on is that he's green, that he's undead.

35:20 But you've leaned into tall.

35:21 Well, I'm writing the narrative.

35:23 People like to focus on the stereotypical things, but in my lived experience, I am tall.

35:28 Yeah.

35:29 I also had no idea Frankenstein had such an obsession with worms.

35:32 You know, a lot of worm repetition.

35:33 Yeah, it's a lot of worm.

35:35 I hate to interrupt, but your book, Shell Silver's Group, is disintegrating.

35:38 On your leg.

35:38 In such a specific way.

35:42 There's sort of spooky dust.

35:44 It's so spooky.

35:45 Spooky haunted.

35:46 That's the thing about horror books.

35:47 They decompose.

35:48 Well, that's a famous sign of a curse. Have you done anything that's given you warranted to get a curse?

35:52 You guys caught me red-handed and covered in blood.

35:55 Yes, I'm cursed.

35:58 Anon.

35:58 Congratulations. That's amazing. That's awesome. Thank you.

36:02 Thank you. Don't, Anon, Boumois, do not say what I think you're going to say.

36:07 I want to. I'm jealous.

36:08 Thank you. I know I'm sick.

36:10 I wish I was cursed.

36:11 No, it's a wonderful curse. Every couple of days, my skin turns inside out. And I have to kind of figure that out.

36:18 How did you get cursed? What happened?

36:20 Tell us the story.

36:20 So I was at a, there was this catamaran that I love to vacation on. Uh-huh. And I wandered the catamaran into a very kind of spooky, evil inlet. And there on the beach, there was a voice that told me lots of things. It was actually part, I think, it was actually part of Outside the Appalachians, which.

36:40 Is scary lands.

36:42 Outside, outside lands.

36:45 Outside, in the Appalachians, you hear voices, lands.

36:48 Yes, that's why you brought that up.

36:49 So that's why I brought it up. And so I got cursed. It was this whole thing. I said, what?

36:53 What are you going to do to me? I'm Shel Silver Screen. I run the silver screen.

36:57 And you brought the silver screen you brought your own last name.

37:01 It's like a tagline I love this it's really catchy it said well you're gonna be cursed forever so now every couple of days skin inside out have to like answer a bunch of riddles to put it back in.

37:12 When was the last time your skin turned inside out oh you.

37:14 Know what has it been well what's today It's Halloween, of course. Yes, okay, so today's Halloween.

37:22 Two days ago?

37:23 Two days ago. Oh, great, okay. Well, and I heard you've been working through it with your poetry and writing.

37:28 I know, read us something, please.

37:29 Okay, if you guys insist.

37:31 Oh, please, I would love to hear this.

37:33 Your book is begging to be heard.

37:35 Okay, so this poem is called I Know Where the Sidewalk Ends So You Can Jump Off It.

37:41 Oh, spooky. Oh, jump off it.

37:45 I know where the sidewalk ends so you can jump off it. You follow it along the road just until you pass the crow, pass the raven, pass the howl, pass all the mountains, pass the yell. You follow it, follow it, follow it hard until you run across a shard. A shard of what?

38:04 A shard of wheat.

38:05 Please, please. Shard of wheat?

38:07 Eat, eat, says the shard of wheat. Eat me, eat me, quick and fast. Eat me so I may be passed.

38:15 Huh?

38:16 You say.

38:16 Oh, dialogue. Huh?

38:18 Huh?

38:19 You say, confused as all heck. What the heck?

38:23 What the heck?

38:26 He's robbed heck with heck three times.

38:31 And used heck in between.

38:32 Keep walking, young man. Keep walking, young girl. Because I know where you're going to hurl.

38:36 There's two of them now?

38:38 Keep walking, walking until the sidewalk ends that you can jump off. Because nothing is scarier than that. I'm off. Shell silver screen.

38:48 I love you. I love the way you end poems. Like, all right, clocking out.

38:53 Well, I better be going.

38:54 Well, that was my set.

38:56 Thank you, guys.

38:56 Thank you. And I love that that was your expression of this curse.

39:00 Yes.

39:01 So that was the expression of this curse. It helped me get my skin returned and also turned into a very award-winning poem, you know?

39:09 It's very exciting, the work that I'm doing. I'm very excited to share it. There's going to be a lot more than that.

39:14 Absolutely beautiful.

39:15 That's very exciting. Skeleton? Oh, the poem that got me on the map this year. This year, my goodness.

39:21 You know, I have my suspicions about a few poems, but I think the poem that really got the judges' attention over at Variety... I'm talking to you, Ryan, I'm talking to you, James, is the poem, this poem I wrote around Father's Day, and it was about.

39:42 A couple hours after I found out I.

39:44 Had a kid.

39:45 You found out on Father's Day.

39:46 I found out on Father's Day.

39:48 Wow.

39:48 A couple hours.

39:49 It was thematically appropriate.

39:51 I can't wait to hear this.

39:52 Oh, my God.

39:52 Nothing's scarier than finding out you're a father on Father's Day.

39:55 It is, actually.

39:56 Surprise.

39:56 That must feel like a curve high up there. It's high up there. Oh, boy, oh, boy. Another day in boon. That's June.

40:07 Of course.

40:07 Of course.

40:08 I know your work.

40:09 Another day in boon.

40:11 Just an ordinary scary or de scary day.

40:19 But a call rang through the door. I?

40:23 A dad? I? A dad?

40:30 This is not what I thought before. This is the work of a scary, scary thing.

40:39 How do I.

40:44 How do I.

40:45 Eyes.

40:47 Scary eyes, of course.

40:49 Eyes.

40:50 Scary, really scary.

40:51 Play....

40:53 Catch! How do I play catch? With a, like, um... We got it.

41:02 Catch! This is the text.

41:05 How do I play catch? With a boy... I do not know.

41:10 How do I play catch?

41:18 It's okay, it's emotional, it's emotional.

41:22 I've never seen work this emotional.

41:24 Of course, a skeleton would be terrified of playing catch with their son.

41:28 I mean, if one errant ball hits the body, the whole thing's shattered.

41:33 It's like a skeleton Koopa in Mario.

41:36 Oh, it's a mess. Can I step up to be the bat I want to be? That's dad.

41:42 Can I step up to be the dad I want to eek?

41:47 That's a question. For another father's day. And that poem, I think. That's the one you thought was the one. That's got to be the one. That's got to be the one. That's got to be the one. Guys, be honest with me. Am I getting grandfathered in?

42:04 No.

42:04 No.

42:05 This is why you came this year.

42:07 This father thing is fucking up.

42:08 Is this a situation where the quality is slipping?

42:11 No.

42:12 But they need somebody to be old and hold it down?

42:16 This is what I'll honestly say. Honestly, that was the most vulnerable you've ever been.

42:20 Truly, truly.

42:21 I gotta tell.

42:22 You, can I be honest? Like, this kid thing's got me fucked up. This kid thing's got me fucked up.

42:29 Well, he just ran hug with bug. I mean, that.

42:32 He rubbed hog with bug and it's like I got slapped across the face.

42:36 With like, whoa, am I anybody?

42:38 Can I ask? Because there is a rumor I'm hearing. Did you get a paternity test?

42:46 Because I'm hearing that might be makeup. I'm hearing it might be skeleton makeup on the other side of their body and I think they might be stealing your money.

42:56 You need to stop.

42:57 That is not kind, Bumawa.

42:59 I'm not trying to be kind. I know you guys think I'm unkind because I know gossip, but I'm trying to help you. They might be trying to steal your money.

43:06 Look, Bumawa, I understand this is your job. So I took a paternity test, and we are waiting on the results.

43:18 Okay.

43:19 They should be coming in.

43:20 How much are you paying in child support?

43:23 Poop is scary.

43:25 Poop is scary.

43:26 Poop is scary. It's a scary thing. Imagine me getting a bunch of poop.

43:28 Scary.

43:29 Scary.

43:30 Poop every week. Scary. I am paying about, what's the going rate now? Converting from.

43:37 Going rate.

43:37 Going rate for child support.

43:39 What are you converting from? Well, I'm converting from bones to USD. You paying bones?

43:45 Back to bones.

43:45 Back to USD. Back to Canadian dollars. Back to, because he spent, splits his time in Canada. About $ 15, 000 a week.

43:53 And when did you take this test, by the way?

43:55 I took it this morning. And when did the results come back? I think they should be coming in any minute.

44:00 That's exactly what I wanted you to say.

44:04 I think they should be coming in any minute.

44:07 Well, I can't wait until they arrive.

44:08 Wow.

44:12 Oh, hey.

44:12 Nice to see you there.

44:14 Sorry. We were just like in the middle of an episode.

44:16 We love the episode.

44:16 It's so funny.

44:17 Just checking on you. You good, girly?

44:18 You good, girly?

44:19 Listen, we have some exclusive stuff to plug.

44:22 And we would love to plug it right now. Join our Patreon. It's a blast.

44:27 We hang out every week. All the week.

44:29 We do live shows on that Patreon. And we just get to hang out as ourselves and get to know you guys a little bit better. It helps us if you join it. And we love doing it.

44:38 So sign up today.

44:40 Once a week, one of the Patreon members becomes king.

44:43 Yes.

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44:46 Ooga booga.

44:47 Back to the app.

44:51 I mean, that's a scary rumor. You know, and the paternity test, I have to insist, it's just a formality. I know this kid is me. He looks like me half the way.

45:02 It's just that it's fucking you up so much. I'm glad you're going to get certainty.

45:06 I respect you guys. I know you guys think I'm some hack, but I really care about you guys.

45:12 No, but why do you care?

45:13 Your poem is the thing that literally got me through my divorce. Yeah, I got married at 16.

45:20 Whoa. Do another 16-year-old. Their parents were into it.

45:24 They were into it. They were okay with it.

45:27 They liked it. It's somehow worse. They liked it. They all signed off. This is worse. They liked it. They thought we were set.

45:33 And then I got divorced at 19 and I was lost. But this Borealis poem saved my life.

45:38 That's really sweet.

45:38 Can you give it to us?

45:39 I'll sing a little bit of it, yeah.

45:42 Scream how you want to scream and let the blood fall out. Honestly, I wanna see you in a grave.

45:53 I mean, that's just clean, right?

45:59 That's just like, that's just straight Halloween.

46:03 That's so clean. Scream however you wanna scream. Honestly, I wanna see you in a grave.

46:06 Do you want to address that people think that Katy Scary stole stuff from you? Because her song, Gore, it sounds so much like a grave.

46:17 It's so familiar.

46:17 Yeah. I'm glad we brought it up.

46:18 I've got the eye of a vampire. I've got the eye of a vampire.

46:24 I'd say I want to see you in a grave and score.

46:29 What was it?

46:30 Gore.

46:32 Very different chord progressions, but I'd say pop is pop.

46:35 Sure.

46:35 And Halloween is Halloween.

46:36 I heard she stole it from you. I just don't even like her since she took that opposite rocket to hell. I've always been such a big fan of pop.

46:43 It was so performative.

46:43 And she was barely there.

46:44 She was barely in health.

46:45 Pop.

46:45 And pop is scary.

46:46 It's pop music.

46:47 Yeah.

46:47 No, I think she's a hack. And she could write a musical.

46:50 She tried.

46:51 Whoa.

46:51 Wow.

46:51 That's something for you there. Unbelievable. That's pretty spicy. Well, guys, what are your Halloween plans? Can I ask that? Can we get into that? Yes, of course you can ask that. Am I allowed to ask something like that?

47:05 I mean, there's so many events. There's so many press things that we have to be doing.

47:09 This is a crazy time.

47:10 Yeah.

47:11 And I've always seen the Halloween poets each year. And I've been like, when I get it, this is what I'm going to do. And you can never prepare yourself.

47:17 I'm going to be hanging out in disguise at the Bateau Scarmont, waiting to see what.

47:24 Goes on over there, having some fun. It's a big Halloween party. That's awesome.

47:28 That's really awesome.

47:30 Josh Boo Hamill ends up kissing his wife, Fergie.

47:34 Ends up kissing his wife.

47:36 Just Fergie.

47:37 Fergie.

47:38 Fergie. I am taking time off my book tour, and I'm just going to be seeing some friends and hanging out here.

47:43 That's so special.

47:44 Werewolf, chipmunk, all the people. I'm just going to be getting together.

47:47 Werewolf and chipmunk. And have they said you've changed at all?

47:52 No.

47:52 They honestly, I think that they, you know, I try to keep the relationship. That's why I get coffee all the time with these people.

47:59 It's good to keep. your original relationships strong.

48:02 Yes. Yes, of course.

48:04 You have to keep your original family.

48:06 We still split the bills when we go out.

48:08 I want everything to be exactly the same as it was.

48:10 Do you offer to pay?

48:12 No.

48:12 Why would I? Those are my friends, and we need to keep things just as they were when things were good.

48:16 You want to keep your friends.

48:17 And yes, I'm making great money. And I'm not afraid to say that.

48:20 But I insist on splitting the bill every time. Because that's just the kind of guy I am. That's a wonderful feature.

48:27 That's a wonderful feature.

48:29 You have a poem about everything staying the same, don't you?

48:32 About change a little bit. About change and staying the same.

48:34 Oh, yes. It's a good seasonal poem. This one's very deep. I like this one.

48:38 It gets me emotional, but, you know, we've all been so vulnerable. I'm more than happy to read this. I'm more than happy to read this. That was you, Skeleton. That's because of you.

48:45 That's because of you.

48:46 That's because of me? What?

48:48 You were so vulnerable.

48:49 Your father. I was so vulnerable?

48:50 You're literally father. You're literally.

48:52 I mean, shoot. wow, I guess this dad thing really is worth it.

48:56 You're about to see if the rest of your life is fully going to be.

48:59 Changed or not. Speaking of change, let me just read my poem really quick.

49:02 Yeah, of course.

49:05 What if Frankenstein was short? Would be scary, no? Would he even be Frankenstein? Bolts and all?

49:14 Or does the height make the man? What if Frankenstein were short? Would he still offer you a plate of worms?

49:20 There's just simply no way of knowing because change is always different than what it is right now.

49:26 Wow.

49:26 Change is always different than what it is right now.

49:29 Kind of a dictionary definition of change at the very end there. Well, I did read a dictionary.

49:32 My favorite is kind of like The Russian accent, it feels like that second line takes on as, wouldn't be scary, no?

49:40 Wouldn't be scary, no?

49:41 Yeah, it's like you're sort of, it's an homage to vampires.

49:46 Yeah.

49:46 It's an homage to vampires.

49:48 You know, that was kind of a borrowed line from my friend the Count. we talk and sometimes I'll be like say the chipmunk what's that was it from town or from chipmunk you know we were all there and you know when you're just riffing and doing bits and stuff.

50:00 Like that I love riffing oh riffing is fun and I just texted the group chat.

50:05 And I just said hey guys I was thinking of putting this in a poem like does anyone remember who like said it first and they're like big dog just take it I think it.

50:10 Was chipmunk on precog go ahead your precog.

50:13 Okay well maybe it was chipmunk my bestie glutted boil what glutted boil.

50:18 Glutted boil yeah.

50:20 That happens to us all the time anyway.

50:23 Oh, hold on.

50:24 I'm so sorry.

50:24 I just have to take this really quickly.

50:26 Oh, please, take the call. Oh my gosh, what's happening to your skin?

50:28 Hello?

50:29 Oh, God.

50:30 You're joking. Such bad timing.

50:33 Hello, yes, this is, yes, confirming skeleton brimble bones 329 1996.

50:37 What?

50:41 What?

50:43 It's not? What the hell? Thank you very much, doctor. Who's, wait.

50:51 And Sara Bareilles is taking a call?

50:54 Where are you going?

50:56 Okay, I guess Sara was taking a call. What was that? Kind of bad timing.

50:59 Guys, he's not my kid.

51:03 I am so sorry.

51:04 He's not my kid. He's a con artist. They call him the face paint bandit. He goes, he dresses himself up. as other creatures, half of it, and then he steals their money.

51:17 It's exactly like you said. Not Anon, please.

51:20 Yeah, let them know. Faceplate Bandit is a scammer.

51:24 What call did you take? I'm sorry, I'm pissed.

51:27 That's angering.

51:28 I mean, that pisses me off. I lost like six months of my mojo. Write it, write it.

51:32 You're spraying blood everywhere, by the way. I have to take music. Get his inside out, but write it.

51:37 You don't gesture so much.

51:38 Write it, write it.

51:38 I'm going to take this to the poem right now.

51:40 Do it.

51:41 I'm going to write it live.

51:42 Do it.

51:42 Man, I'm freaking pissed off. This shit sucks so bad, I was never meant to be a dad. I was meant to be a bat. I was meant to be a blood. I was meant to be a poet of the half moon sun.

52:05 Scary's moon marries scary.

52:09 Gemini's moon pretty good.

52:12 You know, I'm going to get it back.

52:14 I'm going to get it back.

52:16 I'm going to get it back, I think.

52:18 Nice to know your gang affiliation. It's a cool skeleton to block.

52:24 Add that to the wiki.

52:27 We got your birthday and your gang affiliation. This is a big episode.

52:32 I can't believe we got your birthday. Wait, but what was your call?

52:35 What was your call?

52:36 It was nothing.

52:36 It was nothing. Oh, come on.

52:37 What was your call?

52:38 What was your call? My skin is inside out.

52:40 What was your darn call?

52:41 Were you talking to Frank Scarenatra?

52:44 I was talking to Frank Scarenatra.

52:46 A booner.

52:47 A booner.

52:51 Then I have noose.

52:54 Booze?

52:54 Booze.

52:56 Booze. Or noose like noose.

52:59 Noose booze. Booze news.

53:02 Like booze from a Scarticle? What's your booze news?

53:08 From the Scarticle. They might be losing funding. They might not be able to bring back Halloween poetry next year.

53:15 What?

53:16 What?

53:16 There's rumors that Variety doesn't think there's enough money in Halloween poetry.

53:22 But this industry's solid gold. It prints money.

53:25 It prints money.

53:26 I think we should go out with a bang.

53:28 Poems for Halloween.

53:28 Let's just say every poem we got in the book.

53:31 We'll save Halloween poetry. We have to prove it. We have to save Halloween poetry.

53:36 We have to.

53:37 Save Halloween poetry.

53:38 Everyone, read your best stuff.

53:40 Okay, I'll start.

53:41 This is Scarley and the Pumpkin Factory. He was a little boy, twisted and weird. He had no friends because he was weird. Didn't know where to go.

53:55 There was only one place.

53:57 To the pumpkin factory with a frown on my face. And I'll bring my grandpa, who's nary a dead. He'll be bones and all. He'll be well fed. Into the factory with silly, stinky wonka.

54:16 This is from something that I've been working on. It's called The Auditee. Ghosticius walked into a cave. In the cave there was a psych poops.

54:29 Psych poops. Psych poops. Quick, quick, you're saying that alone. Psych poops is already scary.

54:39 But imagine if the cyclops was covered in poop. Much scarier.

54:46 It's almost too scary.

54:48 It's almost too scary.

54:49 Okay, who's next?

54:50 This one is from the Shrek soundtrack. The Shrek soundtrack.

54:54 Oh, you wrote on the Shrek soundtrack.

54:56 Hey now, it's Halloween, get your scare on, trick-or-treat. Hey now, it's Halloween, get your scare on, trick-or-treat.

55:05 All that glitters is bats. Only booing stars make the bats and spiders.

55:14 It's like you've only picked up on two words today, and that is bats.

55:20 10,000 Frankenstein stacked on top of each other. Will it touch the moon?

55:23 I assume so. I assume so. Keep going, keep going. Keep going, we can save it. She's a mummy and she's kind.

55:31 She is lonely and ugly. She is under a bucket most of the time.

55:40 If Frankenstein reached up and touched the tip of the Empire State Building, could he reach it? If he went on his tippy toes, probably yes. This one is called The Witches. It's just about a boy who gets turned into a mouse by a bunch of witches. Real story, thank you.

55:53 You're reading Roald Dahl over there. That's not even your book.

55:56 Oops.

55:57 Oh my gosh.

55:59 We have to believe this is enough. You mean Roald Dahl! We have to believe this is enough.

56:03 Look, James over there is giving us the thumbs up.

56:07 I think it's enough. It's enough. Guys, we gotta go to Boo-Ho House later.

56:13 We gotta go to Boo-Ho House. Can we all go to Boo-Ho House? I'm meeting a couple friends there.

56:18 Who?

56:18 Like, Sabrina Scarpenter.

56:22 Oh!

56:23 Oh, yes. Scarpenter!

56:24 Yes.

56:25 Oh, you have to, I'll bring my friend, Frank E. Grande.

56:29 Yes.

56:30 Oh, my gosh.

56:30 Oh, you still hang out with him? Oh, did something happen?

56:33 No.

56:35 He's just someone that you're like, oh, I guess he can come.

56:43 Oh, good. I'll play a little set at the Boohoo house.

56:45 That sounds awesome.

56:46 I'll sing a little bit.

56:47 She used to be slime.

56:51 And in a way, we all were.

56:53 And in a way, we all were. Anon, please.

56:58 You stole my line.

57:00 This has been Artist on Artist on Artist on Artist. Answer the question now. That's why we call it.

57:04 Halloween.

57:06 Love it.

57:07 Give it up for our guest, Jeremy. Anything you want to plug.

57:12 You can watch my podcast, The Business Casual Show, on YouTube, Spotify, and anywhere you get your podcasts. Also, you can watch My comedy special that just came out with my sketch group, it's called Cowboys. You can also find that on YouTube, look up Business Casual Cowboys, and you'll probably find some fashion videos, but you will also find a cool comedy special.

57:31 And how long did the makeup take you this morning? It took about an hour.

57:34 That's really funny. From the beautiful Dynasty Typewriter! Love you guys.

57:40 See you on the Patreon.

57:42 Bye.

57:43 Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists is an improvised Hollywood roundtable podcast created and hosted by Kylie Brakeman, Jeremy Colhane, Angela Giratana, and Patrick McDonald. It is a production of Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartMedia Podcasts. Executive produced by Matt Apodaca and produced by Alexandra Dennis and Laser Vision Productions. Music by Gabriel Ponton and edited by Connor McCabe.

58:07 Thumbnail art is by Josh Fleury and logo design is by Lucy Tomkiewicz. Special thanks to Samuel Curtis and the beautiful Dynasty Typewriter Theater. The opinions expressed on this podcast do not reflect the opinions of anyone who works on it, not even the performers, because this is an improvised podcast and.

58:23 We don't know what the heck we're talking about.

58:26 Full video versions of AOAOAOA are available on YouTube, so please like and subscribe and leave us a five-star review wherever you get your podcasts.

58:34 That's all for now. Good night, Hollywood!