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DISCLAIMER: This podcast is about suicide. Listener discretion is advised
"When Michael and I got together some 40 plus years ago, we’d always planned on checking out together."
In February of 2024, a letter arrived at the pharmacy in Astoria, Oregon. It was from local residents Petra and Michael Mathers, and they wanted to let the pharmacists know that they had died—by suicide. Petra was a celebrated children’s book author and illustrator. Michael was a photographer. And as police investigated their deaths, they discovered a whole network of people around the country who had received similar letters.
Journalists Leon Neyfakh and Alice Gregory, who have themselves been married for more than 10 years, visit Oregon to begin putting together the pieces of Petra and Michael’s shared life: the start of their love story, and the end. And they set out to interview everyone who received a letter from Michael and Petra, to try to understand why a couple who was seemingly so happy and in love would want to end their lives.
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Pushkin Leon Nafak Here Before we get into this episode, I wanted to let you know that you can hear the full season of Death of an Artist ad free right now. By signing up for Pushkin Plus. You also get bonus episodes, full audiobooks, and true crime binges from your favorite Pushkin hosts and authors. Sign up and save on the Death of an Artist show page on Apple Podcasts or at pushkin dot fm, slash Plus. Use the code artist twenty five for twenty five percent off an annual subscription. Let's get into the show.
This podcast is about suicide listener discretion as advised.
Hello, you've preached Michael and Petro Mathers to leave us a methods.
Thank you.
After birth and after birth after birthday, my keys, I don't be to you. Hope you're well. They carry yourself. Hope to talk to you soon. Bye bye. Unless I'm missed reading my calendar.
I believe two three four five is your birthday and I'm calling to wish you were a happy one.
I'm thinking of you and just know that I love you both.
And that's it.
Bye bye.
Michael, give me a call please, it's good. We're worried about you.
Are you, Mike, I just talked to you. Please give you a call.
Please, I would really pas you. Mike, I got squared. Makes me cryet.
You can't be serious enough.
What's happening?
Somebody's gonna call me?
Michael is tom? Uh? Hello, he's whoses.
My name is Patty and I'm a friend of the Mathers. The phone has been rained qu quite a bit, but I saw you a name and I thought this person has called before, and I will pick it up.
I'm so glad you you did.
Uh.
We're also friends of the matters.
When we received a letter from from them, and it's quite alarming.
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for you. Oh no, they uh yes, they uh there. They took their life and that's the way they wanted to do it. They wanted to go together and and that's what they did.
End of final message.
Are you scared?
We are you scared of You're hiding me?
Hid mom? Remember when we recorded you and you listen to yourself.
This is just that.
This is just the toy.
Do you make any sound you want into this? Ah, that's a funny sound, Tess. Can we show you a video?
We're gonna show you a video that starts with the most beautiful song you ever heard.
Then we're gonna read a book.
You want to see it?
Yeah?
And kids? What Abel Enabel?
Wait there?
Rainbow right there.
Here's a story about someone whose life took a wonderful turn when she learned to dance.
It's called Sophie and Lou. Mm hm, Sophie and catch your Mathers test. Look what do you say?
That's the same book. I remember this book from when I was little, When Auntie Gracie was your age, she had this book.
Yeah, you test. Patro Mathers is the author. She's the person who wrote the book and drew the pictures.
You ca.
She's a lady that mommy and daddy are so curious about.
She also wrote all these other books you have, Remember Lottie and Herbie. Ah, she wrote Lottie and Herbie too.
Stopping for Yeah, Okay, I'm going to start reading this book. It's called Sophie and Lou by Patron Mathers. Sophie was shy, so shy, she did her shopping during the low hours so she wouldn't have to talk to anyone. One morning, she heard pounding and shouting.
Across the street. What are they up to over there?
Look?
And then they opened a dancing studio right across the street from her house, and she's looking in. All those animals are learning to dance, and Sophie's curious looking in. That's still pretty shy.
Sophie and Lou, I think is to this day. I think is a classic so much.
We just the dancing and oh god, yeah, and.
That's Sophie and Moore are patroon Michael?
No, that's Lou Who is this as?
You?
As louing?
You like his face?
She thought all the way home. She danced inside.
You want to go first.
I'm Michael Braski and Michael Mathers was one of my best friends.
I'm Michael Coy and Patriot was my best friend, and she's always said I was her best friend.
Do you each call each other Michael?
Yes?
You do.
Do your friends have nicknames for you?
No, we're just known as the Michaels.
People think it's our last name.
He's Michael number one. I'm Michael number two. That's true.
What does that make Michael Mathers?
He could be number He could be the other Michael. Yeah, yeah, the other Michael. No, patriots Michael.
Yeah, Patriots Michael.
He was my Michael to her always, That's what she referred to her as, my Michael. Do you know about when Petra met Michael in a bookstore?
We're not there yet, not there yet, you're jumping way ahead in mind.
Yeah, Well, why don't you just tell us how you met Patra? Just started the beginning.
I can't remember now where I was when I met Patra, but I moved to Portland in nineteen seventy five. January seventy five. I was working for a chain of bookstores when I was twenty seven, twenty eight something like that. She was like no one I had ever met before. I have the sense of how I felt, which was gobsmacked.
Tell how you tell how you hired her? Your interview with.
Her, Petri.
Someone came up to me in the store, one of the other people that worked there, and said, there's a young woman downstairs that wants to work in the book department. Would you go down and interview her? So I went down and Patro was there. She was she was in a beige sweater set with a matching skirt, and she touched me and she said, I'm really good. I want to work here. And I said, well that's good enough for me. I said, you have a background in books, and she said she had a degree in book selling from a school in Germany. And she had a pretty thick accent, and she was beautiful. So I went up to my partner in the book department and I said, go downstairs and interview Patron and then tell her she's hired.
One weekend, I stopped by Patriots and I went in and there was art all over her kitchen and they were little postage stamped paintings that I'd never seen anyone do before.
There were just beautiful.
There would be.
A rather large eighteen by twenty four watercolor and it was filled with tiny little pictures. And I said, I didn't know you were an artist, and she said, oh, yes, I am. And then we discovered in Portland that she had created a wall in the children's bookstore with large paintings that filled the whole wall.
A lot of them were.
Based on nursery rhymes or just anything that came to her head. So I went in and bought three of them, I remember, for twenty five dollars apiece, still have one. And that's when we discovered that she was an artist, and we thought she was really good, and she wanted to do children's books. Don't get ahead of yourself. Okay, you're jumping. Okay, I'm sorry. You take over, would you?
At some point Patria and her then husband David were living down at the Oregon coast in a house that they had built, and we knew that she wasn't happy with David. He was a very nice, very ordinary, kind of a slubbish guy, and definitely, I mean, we never thought he was in her league, right.
Well, yeah, we didn't realize he was even home. Sometimes when we visited, it was just the three of us, but David was there.
She really married him to stay in the country.
I don't think she ever loved him, but he was madly in love with her.
Michael had published a book and it was a book of photographs, and I met Michael. I took him to lunch to talk to him about promoting the book.
And.
He presented himself as a sort of just all sharks, didn't know one end of the book business from another, applied me for all sorts of played me for a full sort of you know, because it only later that I discovered that, you know, he was very sophisticated. But anyway, we had a lovely lunch. I liked him a lot, and he was scheduled to have a a book signing at a small bookstore in Portland and it was one of the times when Patron was staying with us uh and I asked her to come along that just that she would like this and was just something to do.
And she met Michael. I introduced her and.
The look between the two of them you can hang laundry on. It was so intense and they were just humble.
Yeah, they were. It was truly truly love at first sight. So that was it.
She was getting divorced. It she made her decision just like that.
At fu Fe, right there.
In the window, in the window, looking, that's Lou.
Here.
What was he carrying in his hand?
Yeah?
No, what flower? My name is LOUI said, bowing from the waist.
May I have this dance?
H half that dance?
You bet, said Sophie and stepped into his arms.
And look there they are.
What are they doing? Hi hugging?
Yeah, they're hugging.
They're dancing and hugging.
At the end of the book, do you know what the end means the end?
What does the end mean? No, what does it mean?
Thank you?
Thank you all done?
Bye bye?
Yeah bye bye Molly, by bye bye.
Hello, we're back.
Oh boy, yesterday I brought up pregnancy test and today I'm buying tampon and there you go.
Yeah no, oh I should hi a Pearmount Drug.
Yeah we do have it ready. They did call it in.
Yeah.
Yeah, Okay, see you when you get here.
Mm hmm okay, bye bye.
I really just feel.
Like I don't have anything to say.
Well, can we start with this simple thing? Just tell us who you are.
Okay.
My name is Marcia Eetro. I work at Paramount Drug in Astoria. Michael and Patrick came in here a lot. Seemed very sweet. She was always dressed so cute and proper, and her hair plain, very plain but yet very pretty, and always upbeat and happy. And Michael was more serious but funny, always talked, and they always sent us really quirky Christmas cards. Michael and Petra would come in here, I don't know, once a week or something like that and then get little boxes of candy and split it and you know, always made a like a fun thing out of it.
Like oh, we've got candy and.
You know that kind of stuff. That last time I saw Petro, Michael came in. He was kind of ticked off, like what are you doing?
Come on?
You know, I don't know if they had to go somewhere, get somewhere. I don't know her along.
Yeah, yeah, that he was kind of like, come on, you know, and I could tell she sort of went, oh, well, I was just talking.
But they you know, she rushed off with him.
Do you know how long it was before you received the letter?
Oh? I don't think it was too long after that, and.
You know, just came here, you know, started looking at it and thinking, wow, that's weird.
Now it's all.
Her writing. So she wrote it to us. She probably liked us more than he did.
I don't know, would you mind reading it to us?
When Michael and I got together some forty plus years ago, we'd always planned on checking out together when the time comes. It did, and our resting place is in the graveyard in Oysterville, always a favorite destination for a fair weather outing, which really that's not so depressing over there in the winter.
Come see us sometime, quiet beautiful old trees. You can even hear the ocean. Sometimes we've had a great run, especially after moving down here, and all this time you took care of us. The more years, the more pills, but it was always fun to see you all. Thank you for everything. We wish you the best there is and are grateful for your care. See you sometimes somewhere.
And then she wrote her name and he wrote his, and you know, kind of thought something had happened.
They've done something.
What did you do?
I just got my coat and went up to their house.
But I never saw anybody and went around and I knocked all over, no answers, and I could see how their little shoes were out front of the door, so they were in there.
I don't know that I would have noticed that. You're like Sherlock Holmes, the shoes are outside the house.
They were there.
What did you do after that?
Came back? And I don't know.
I think we talked, and I think we called the police.
My name is Cory Garrig, and I'm a police officer here with the city of Astoria.
Well, how did you intersect with the story that we're talking about today.
I just I guess I just happened to be working that day and it was a call that was a signed to me through our thro our dispatch.
Had you heard of the batters before? No, this is the first time I've heard of him. And so walk us through sort of the stuff.
You got the call, and then do you go to the pharmacy first.
I went to the pharmacy first at the to them see what this letter was that they had, what was raising the concern it was concerning, got up to the house there. I didn't see any cars there in the in the driveway, no answer. Most of the windows, the coverings on the windows were open. The only place that I couldn't see is kind of that top upper corner on the far back end. I tried door and it was locked, so I couldn't get in. Tried to look into the garage. My partner that was with me actually noticed in one of the cars, like near the center console was a set of keys and the car was unlocked.
So we went and tried it and it did. It led us into the house.
My main thing I wanted to look at was that upper back corner that I couldn't see from the outside. And when I got to that area, the door to that room was closed. Mostly it was open just a couple of inches. As I started opening the door. The door opens to the right, and I could see there was some stuff on the ground, plastic bags, tubing like a canister, bottle, almost like a helium tank. They had a couple of like camp chairs set up like folding chairs, so one of the camp chairs was empty, and just the bottle and the tubing and the plastic stuff on the floor around that chair. He was sitting in the other chair still, and then her body was laying on the couch, so he still.
Had everything attached to him.
Dressed in regular dress clothes, slacks, a button up shirt. I think she was wearing nice pants and like a sweater. She looked like she was sleepy, and I was pretty safe to assume that she had gone first. And then he made her more presentable and laid her on the couch.
And then he went himself. Afterwards.
I'm Maeric Alberson, the deputy chief of police for the story. Police department. Officer Geric called and let me know what was going on, and I went up there and along with my chief he came up there as well, and then we go into the bedroom. I think in my report I wrote that it sort of looked we would call it almost like staged.
We used the.
Nitrogen gas and they basically had plastic bags that were over their heads with the two running up into the covering. They left us a note at the scene. It was on a table inside the bedroom there with the box set out for their ashes or the mortuary.
All right, so this is a legal pad. What does it say, well mortuary? Okay, dear police department. We apologize for this unpleasant task, but since we wanted to quietly die together at home, this seemed the only solution. Thank you for this and not alarming the neighbors. Please contact our friend in Portland. Please let her know when we are out of the house so she can bring the cats home.
Their identification cards are laid out with the note to us. They even write a little note on a like a post it saying, oh, by the way, like our plumbing isn't that great, so you know, flush the human things, but the other things need to go in a trash can. And they had left instructions for safety, instructions for this is nitrogen and it was left there with the canister on the floor. We went down into Petra's work area.
There was things laid out with people's names on them. There was stuff on the bed that was wrapped to be sent to different places, and as I understand, there were some things that were sent to, like some museums and stuff. They even left a note on a pile of dirty clothes that said last minute work closed, please dumpties.
I don't know, strange, but yeah, I mean, you know, get a little smirk when you see a note like that. They also mailed us a note. Most of this one's typewritten.
Because that must be Michael. Okay, here you read, you read.
All right to your story of police department. This is to inform you that Michael and Petro Mathers have committed suicide on February fourth. We've been married for forty four years and this is not a rash decision and has been thoroughly thought out and prepared. They had written the key to the houses under the mat and then they crossed it out. You will find us in the bedroom having used nitrogen. Our sincere hope is that you will honor our request to respect our neighbors by showing up discreetly, no sirens or lights, no need to wake the dead. Also, would you contact our executor, Patty Flynn, and let her know.
She's aware of our decision, but not of the timing. She has a key to the house. There are animals that are temporarily being boarded and need to return to their home. Thank you. When it's signed in penn Michael Mathers, Petro Mathers and then and pencil ps. The key is in the left boot top pair left of the front door.
Please call Patty Flynn as soon as you can so she can get the animals and get settled because she now owns the house.
I'm curious what you make of it, of this choice.
I don't know.
There's a part of it that seems like a real sweet commitment to one another, and there's a part of it that is not typical of human nature to want to survive. And maybe the draw toward one another was stronger, I guess, than the individual nature to survive.
After this shift, I was off for at least two days, maybe three, And then when I came back, I had learned that there had been multiple calls from all over the country. Those people were receiving these letters. So yeah, I think it was very obvious that they had planned it, were letting everybody know.
Dear Locker, by the time you get this schletter, both Petra and I will be dead.
Dear Patty and Tim.
When you receive this, we will be in a different sphere.
Dear Holly and Matt. Michael and I have always planned to leave Earth together.
B makahin the time of our friendship was beautiful, precious and unforgettable. I embrace you, dear Nick.
By the time you get this, we will be in our grave in Oysterville, Washington.
You can hear the ocean and the cows often come to Gray's early evening.
You're Rickord.
Well, you are a prince of a guy, and we are lucky.
To have you in our life.
Leaviously antiin liba gueru, said Michael on each susamond in via amind them up sheet for no dega plant Jim, Why.
Now you may have heard of our departure. I apologize for misleading you.
Dear Cory. The train has left the station. Next stop Wonderland.
Oh wait, test, we skipped over the first page of the book before the dedication page.
Yeah, it's a dedication is where the author says who the book is for. Okay, it says to love and those who dare to put all of their eggs in one basket?
An't you.
Ache?
And my back fits?
She didn't draw that part, But what did she draw?
Test?
What are those?
What do you see?
What's what are these?
I know?
I know, adap, you do know what that is? What are these?
Hearts with wings?
With wings too? With little wings?
Two hearts flying away?
Right?
In her letter, she said that we're moving to a new sphere and who knows.
You know, were you together when you received it?
Yeah? Yeah, we're sitting in the solarium where we usually read the paper every morning. This is goodbye, time to close shop. Michael bed letters started biling the phone immediately, and of course nothing.
You kept calling.
I read it, and I guess I read what I wanted to read, and so I immediately took it as this is something that we are planning. And so I immediate called and couldn't get through, and called Michael's number and I couldn't get through, and I left, you know, plaintive messages, you know, police call, you know, if you're thinking of doing this, police call so we can say goodbye.
And of course there was no call back.
Did we call anyone else.
Then a couple of days later we got to call from Patty Flynn telling us that the bodies had been found and that it was indeed what we knew by that time.
Yeah, so.
Yeah, Michael, I know you expressed Alice some hesitation about sharing the letter. Is there any part of it that you would be comfortable sharing with us?
How does it start?
Is?
Sorry? Does it? I don't mean to laugh, but does it start? Dear Michael and Michael.
Der honeys, your honeys. Yeah, dear honeys, this is goodbye. Time to close shop for us. We've always planned to check out together. Michael, as a true gentleman, has taken everything in hand, having done research for quite a while. You are my most significant, dearest, longest friends. Many turns and directions were based upon knowing you. Having your support, suggestions and so much fun in these many years has made all the difference. Without question, my life would not have been so rich and joyful since I wouldn't have met Michael, and through you I was able to find a way into children's books. Thank you for everything and sending much love Petro and Michael.
Yeah, okay, so she credits you with the best parts of her life.
I'm all true.
We were there for each other. Yeah, she was a huge part of our lives than likewise. Yeah, I talked to Patron on the phone about every week or so, and I had spoken to her just with less than a week before they killed themselves, and we had a normal conversation. We talked about I prattled on about the opera that I had just listened to, and she talked and there was no not a pin dropped about their plans.
And then when I was rereading her letter to us, something that I had missed in the readings before, said I'm writing this now months before, month before. I missed that.
Yeah, so they planned. This is really incredibly well planned.
I'm just, yeah, how.
Does it feel? If you don't mind me asking?
Knowing that this was in the back of her head.
Were pissed.
I know, I'm just pissed because because we have so many good years left, I think anger we're supposed to, you know, go all together. I mean, I I am old, but they you know, she was ten years younger than me, perhaps or five. Anyway, it just seems so senseless. And we had no we had no indication that she was slipping at all. I mean, English wasn't her first language after all. Sometimes she had to search for the word.
But yeah, my feeling is, I mean, I I support their decision. I have other We have friends who have taken themselves out. We have one of our very best friends has you know, she has a stockpile of medications and she has very elaborate plans if she isn't capable of administering them, or she has two other friends who will come in.
She's also ninety.
Anyway, we we and we have talked about it, but we hadn't talked patro had never approached the subject of this being imminent. And I guess what I most have the most anger about or whatever, is that she was able to send us a letter and tell us how much we had meant in her life, but we didn't have. You know, there's a selfishness that is really hard to let to let go of the anger about that. Yeah, and I think about her hundreds of times every day now and it's been two years. Yeah, it's hard, not hard.
Our house is filled with her. We have fifty or sixty pieces of her work out on display in our house.
She had a chance to write you guys this letter and say goodbye, and you didn't, And I'm wondering if you could now, what would you say.
Don't do it?
No, I you know what I would say is that my life is so much richer for having known you and for the time that we spent together, and that you've brought more joy and ways of seeing things that I would not have known otherwise, and I'm so thankful.
I would have tried to talk her into post planning it until you could go to Paris together.
That's what I would have done.
Eleven issue chain just this is somebody buying this is that's someone else is sorry, that's mine, that's yours.
Okay, so one of those Yeah, that's ten, and there's twenty yep.
Do you keep track, even sort of unconsciously in the back of your head, your various customers.
Yeah, like who's sick, who's yeah sick? Yeah, yep?
What's that like?
Kind of knowing all that about so many different people in town.
It's as I get older, I think it's getting more kind of depressing. But you know, because you do care about people and you think, wow, they're not looking so good. Something up and then pretty soon it's something and something else, and then you know they're gone.
But that wasn't them.
No, they were both healthy.
He kind of had some stuff with maybe skin stuff, because he was one of those redhead very pale skin, you know that that look that gets kind of ruddy as.
You get older.
You know.
I think they could have had a good probably ten more years. That's a lot of years. So I felt sad at first and kind of hurt, and then I just got mad, disgusted.
You know, they didn't have to struggle. They didn't have to.
I don't know, just made me angry because of how some people would like to have.
Another day, another week.
Maybe they didn't want to get old, maybe they didn't want to have a cane or you know, hard time getting out of your chair.
I don't know. That's the only thing I can think of.
I mean, usually people when they commit suicide or something, they've got to you know, money problems, or they have issues or things happen.
They're very sick. Not them.
I'm Leon Nathock and I'm Alice Gregory. This is Death of an Artist Season three. Patron Mathers and her Michael.
Coming up on this season.
To know that you wouldn't flinch at the last minute, sent out whatever forty letters.
That to me is incredible the impetus should think about the end of life.
My end of life? Was that letter?
Yes, I wrestle it was it carg Or was it Cowers?
Oh?
You know, I don't think it was cowards?
No, it's well, except they were afraid of what the future was.
I think people hear the word suicide, and I actually haven't liked to use that word, like I want something different or better.
This was not a desperate move.
I mean I felt jealous of them just looking at photos and I never even met them.
Oh thank you, Alice. Yeah, so you you appreciate what I mean.
Okay, here there at the Grand Canyon.
Here they're making out.
Oh here there at the cemetery again.
Oh my goodness. Is it Mike pretending to Hayhm's help.
Should it be interpreted as an indication that he had a long standing fascination with death? Well, yeah, I mean I think he did.
I mean that in the fact that he drove.
A hearse for a while, He drove a hurst for a while.
She told me she was sleebiskunk love, sick like a.
Disease, I just, I truly, truly hope that Patro was one thousand percent on board with the plan.
Do you think of him as having killed her? Yes?
I do.
I hold my corresponsible for an other stuff. Death of an Artist Season three is reported and produced by me Alice.
Gregory and me Leon Nafock.
Our supervising producer and editor is Diane Hodson. Our producer is Sonia Gerwitt. Our showrunner is Alexandra Garreton. Our executive producer is Jacob Smith. Original music and sound design by Evan Viola. Our fact checker is Anica Robbins. Additional production support by Julian Colley, and our show art was designed by Sean Carney.
This episode featured interviews with Michael Coy, Michael Braski, Marsha Etro, Corey Garrig, and Eric Halverson. Special thanks to Sarah Vaytac Nevada Soul and Third Wheel Podcast Studio in Seattle, Washington. Death of an Artist is a production of Pushkin Industries. To find more Pushkin podcasts, listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.
