Monday Moments - From EP: The hard truth! Why He WON'T COMMIT! With Sarah Fontenot Shorter

What advice can you give to the girl that's doing everything right, but with no luck? This is what I'm going to tell you. And this is going to be a very hard pill to swallow. Kenny, can I go right here?

Speaker 1: Speaker 1:

Or he's not ready to make a commitment. Don't let that man waste your time, in my opinion.

Now, if you're in your 20s, you got time to waste. I love that for you. Do that.

But if he is not willing to commit, if he is not acknowledging how great of a woman you are, he doesn't like you. He doesn't want you. And he may act or say that he does, but he doesn't because actions speak louder than words. And there is no more blaring of an action than running from commitment. If I'm good enough to be loved by, to be nurtured by, to be fed by, to be touched on, to be all of the things, then I'm good enough to also get commitment.

So that's what I would say.

We ready?

You feel complete?

I am complete. Someone else, or should I ask this other question from Mrs. Antoine19.

How do you approach your husband if you think he's cheating? Why do you think he's cheating, Mrs.

Antoine19?

My question to, well, to answer the question is, We know when.

A man is cheating. We know.

What's that laugh for? We do.

We know.

Our intuition knows. We know if a man is cheating. We absolutely know if a man is cheating. And if that man is cheating, you get to decide whether it's even worth it to go searching. What you search for is just going to give you the answer that you think that you already know. I don't think we just have these hunches for no reason, personally.

So you're saying as soon as you feel like he's cheating, he's cheating?

Women have intuition. We have intuition.

That's a stretch.

No, it's not.

Now you had a dream about cheating.

No, no, that's different.

That's your intuition.

Having a dream.

No, that's not our intuition. That's not our intuition. Sometimes having a dream about him cheating. Yeah, okay, I guess I see what you're saying. That could be intuition, but probably not. But if you feel like he's starting to move a little bit different, if you feel like he's getting you off the phone a little fast, If you feel like, I don't even know what the signs of cheating are, to be completely honest, but if you feel like that's happening and something in your heart is like something isn't right, he's not acting the same, he's not treating me the same, he's not speaking to me the same, one of two things is happening. Either it's a season where stuff is really weird or he's cheating.

It has to be really weird for any of that stuff to happen? It sounds like a busy work day to me.

No.

No, there's a difference between a busy work day and when you're just all around moving different.

There's a big difference.

I don't know.

I don't know, though. I think that if you think that he's cheating, why do you think that he's cheating? What is it that's... And that's my first question. Like, if you had a dream about it, okay. Did you recently watch a movie where somebody cheated on their wife and now that's what the intuition is? That's completely different than he is actually moving and acting different.

Those are two different things. We'll use your.

Because I like to use you as an example being the hostessist.

Your birthday.

Yeah.

You thought Brock was moving weird.

No, but I knew he was moving weird and I knew it was because of my birthday. I knew he was up to something. I just can't investigate because my birthday was too close.

But you get how I feel like that's condolented. No.

If you have a birthday coming up.

So if your birthday wasn't around and he acted like that. Oh, that's weird. Or he could just have a random surprise for you. No, no, no.

If your patterns are changing because Brock's patterns changed.

Yeah, but he could have a new surprise for you. That's not around the birthday or around the holiday.

Right, so now I got questions.

If you have a new surprise for me, but your patterns are changing, like as an example, the day of my birthday surprise birthday party, I called him to confirm a date for something else that we were doing the following Monday. And I was like, hey, baby, are you available, whatever?

And when he.

Answers the phone, he says, hey, wife. When he doesn't say, hey, wife, and just says, hey, I'd be like, I don't like that.

Like, Mm-hmm.

Address me as who I am. You know, we joke about it. And then he was like, what do you need?

I'm working. And I was like, dang. But when he's working, that's how he is. That's a part of his pattern.

Now, because that's a part of his pattern, and I know that, he acted in alignment with the surprise that he was doing.

Does that make sense?

No. You have to give me an example.

It's the intuition. It's like when women... Women's intuition is discernment. Like, we can sense... When the smallest change happens, so if- We notice patterns.

Yeah, but I'm saying the pattern switch had nothing to do with cheating. So even in the future, he has a pattern change. It can be another surprise. It doesn't necessarily mean he's cheating.

I don't think my husband is cheating. So I'm trying to answer her question.

If my husband is doing something different for me, I'm assuming something big is coming.

I'm getting something. I don't know what it is. I don't know what surprise it is. I don't know what gift it is. I don't know. Because I trust my husband. My intuition does not say that he's cheating.

But- If somebody thinks that their husband is cheating, it's probably because something has come up that made them feel that way. Now, that's when women, when we first think it, that's when we start paying attention to patterns. Once we start paying attention to patterns and we have identified that you are, in fact, moving and acting differently, now that's when we're bold enough to even have the conversation.

That's valid.

So I'm saying if she feels like, how do you bring up cheating, the conversation of cheating.

It's definitely not saying, are you cheating on me?

I feel like if I was to have that conversation, I would say, maybe can I share something with you? And if he were to be like, yeah, I'd be like, I feel like things have been feeling a little bit different for me.

And I'm just trying to understand if there's something.

That I should know about, because how you're moving compared to how you regularly move is different. Something is different. Can you please help me understand? And then depending on your answer, I am literally going to pinpoint the answer that I'm looking for.

What if he gaslights you? Man, you tripping, man. I ain't changing.

I don't deal with those men.

How I'm changing? You're the one that's changing. What if he gaslights you?

I don't deal with those types of men.

Okay.

For the sake of this scenario.

Okay. If a man is saying, I'm not changing, you're changing.

Like if he gaslights you.

That's so hard because it's like, what are we, three? I'm trying to be for real and you're trying to make this about you.

I feel like that's a dead giveaway if you ask me.

I don't think that's a dead giveaway.

Man, if you overreact when I come in with concerns and you flip it on me and I feel like I'm walking all extras around you, you just told on yourself.

I'm not one to really answer questions for real though.

You're going to have to learn to answer questions.

Right.

That's crazy. How are you going to be in a relationship without answering questions?

That creates safety for a woman, just so you know. Okay, I got to come to this question.

Money underscore D16 said, is it bad taking a female to a coffee date because I hella got clowned on about it? No, Money underscore D16. I think that coffee dates are amazing. I think that it is a great opportunity to see if a woman actually likes you or not. If she's not willing to go on a coffee date with you, she doesn't like you.

I'm just saying, I don't drink coffee. Not everybody drinks coffee.

Go get a tea.

Go get dessert. Get some ice cream. Insert snow cone. Have a smoothie. Whatever beverage it is that's less than $ 10, that's what you should be going for.

I like to have meaningful conversations at Ruth's Chris.

It's not about what you're getting from me. It should be about spending time with me. And if you're more interested in the Ruth Chris dinner, you don't like that man.

You don't like him?

Because I like steak. I don't like him. I'm so confused.

Get a steak on your own dime.

But I do get steak on my own dime.

Okay, well then why do you need a steak from him?

This is how I treat myself. I don't even take myself.

Out on coffee decks. I don't be liking to come out of pocket. Like, you know, you bump into somebody, that's how you do.

I don't really be.

Even Shorty, I didn't pay that first time, but she doesn't pay for nothing since. But it makes it, it's a little easier that way.

Yep.

If she is trying to get money from you, it's not good. Jules Verne, 49, 77, we love you, thank you again for.

The super challenge.

How is a woman? We love you.

How is a woman? I'm sorry, go ahead.

Okay, if family values are the foundation of a healthy society, why are men looking overseas for wives instead of building relationships in their homeland? I think because men have been sold this idea that women overseas are more domestic and they're more loving and they're more kind and they're more nurturing.

But I don't think that they take into account that those women, too, are looking to be taken care of.

They're looking because the dollar.

Over there makes Chris and no, no.

But they're looking to deliver their family to America.

It's a whole different situation.

Yeah, that's a way lower budget than $ 800.

It's way better than $ 800.

If you go live over there, maybe it's better. But a lot of times they're trying to come over here and bring their family.

Yeah, but their family is going to support you. They're not going to just train you.

A lot of men don't even know that that's all a ploy. Women are just playing their part. They don't like you either. How does someone that can't even understand the language that you speak like you?

I mean, I'm Hispanic, so I speak Spanish.

What if you get a wife from the Philippines?

That's valid. I think, all right, so just to backtrack a little bit.

So you're saying passport boroughs are invalid.

I think we're stretching it.

But I do feel like there's a lack of, let's say, community or back end, understanding your culture, who you're supposed to be, where you're supposed to be, how you're supposed to act in America. That goes for the white community and the black community.

I think that's why we have this podcast.

I agree.

I think that a lot of women.

But so when men say they want to go overseas to find someone that has that, I don't think she should be getting attacked.

I think we should be working on that.

I don't think that... I'm not attacking.

I think that we should be mindful of the fact that a lot of those women are also looking to be saved.

It just costs less.

So you're saying women who deliberately come to America to date American men to be saved?

Say it again?

So you're saying that women who leave their country to find a better life in America date American.

Men to be saved?

No, I'm saying.

women that are found by passport bros are all, most of them are looking to get saved by this man and also have their families be saved. So when this happens, we have to be realistic about what it is.

The truth is a lot of those women know their.

Role because they've been raised to be quiet, serve the food, have sex. It's not because she loves you so much. It's because she's learned certain.

Things from her family.

Because oftentimes the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Sometimes getting with a successful man is the only way to be saved in certain places.

It just is what it is.

I think the women in America are doing the same thing as these foreign women.

Yes, they just cost more.

No, but the foreign women actually, like you said, have the different ideologies and they come with more of a family background.

Yeah. X, Y, Z, X, Y, Z.

So I think that's where the determining factor is. I think it's easy to say, oh, they're just going out there.

It's an easy catch and da, da, da.

But I think it's the genuine want for a home and a family and all of those things. I don't think these American women are necessarily... Yeah, I.

Think American women are dating for ego. I think a lot of foreign women are dating to save their family. And I do think that that is a completely different heart posture. And I do think that there's a different level. I can't say that there's a different level of authenticity, though, because both of it is for something.

So you're saying that passport borrowers have a savior complex they need to get rid of?

No, I'm saying do what you want to do. Pick your struggle. They struggle everywhere.

Basically, she's saying y'all simps. That's what she's saying.

No, I'm not saying that. You just said that men should not be- No, I'm saying pick your struggle. They're foreign women.

If you want to be catered to, you want to be loved on, but maybe it may not be authentic, great.

Choose that.

If you want to have- If you got the same program here, you can't say it might not be authentic because you're dealing with the same thing here.

That's my point. Pick your struggle. Pick your struggle.

It doesn't matter.

Do whatever you want to do.

Pick your struggle. I feel, because personally, I feel like the passport bros have a better chance.

I don't think that.

That's crazy.

I think that being an all-around good person and having strong discernment, that's who has the best chances.

That's what I think. I think we need to stop wasting.

You think there's better decision-making and discernment in Atlanta or a random city of El Salvador?

I think that....

I think that in Atlanta, it's ego-based. I think in El Salvador, it's helped me and my family. I think in parts of Africa, it's helped me and my family. I think in parts of the Philippines, it's helped me and my family. My grandfather, who recently passed, was married to a Ukrainian woman who is younger than my oldest brother.

And she wanted to help her and her family. She's helped her mom. She sends money there. She'll go back home for six months. She's literally 43 and he was 95.

But even the concept of that sounds better than spending my money on Nubo and bottles and sections.

Pick your struggle.

For a man that likes the sections and the whatever else you just said, pick your struggle. If that's what you like, then that's an alignment.

If not, then cool.

You know?

That's true. I'm complete.

Monday Moments - From EP: The hard truth! Why He WON'T COMMIT! With Sarah Fontenot Shorter

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