I REFUSED to invite my friend's girlfriend to dinner... and it blew up in my face! -r/BestofRedditorUpdates | Reddit Stories | EP3134

0:00 Hey, this is Angie.

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0:11 I refused to invite my friend's girlfriend to dinner, and it blew up in my face.

0:17 Oh, it's a real bad a la carte.

0:19 You know what I'm saying? I, 21 female, have a close friend, 21 male, that I've known since I was a baby. We have never had a romantic history. Since summer is one of the only times us and our other close friends get to hang out, I thought it would be fun to do something nice for my birthday and all go to a fancy dinner place on me and later go clubbing. I'm a pretty extra person, so I wanted to make a whole night out of it. However, my friend's girlfriend is visiting him right now. I have genuinely nothing against this girl. She seems really sweet. I've met her a couple of times, even in moments where I was unaware she was coming. I initially just thought it was because she didn't know anyone here and didn't

1:01 want to be cooped up at his house while he was with friends. Still, it being practically every time was odd to me, and I was a little annoyed as I have a low social battery and it takes a lot more out of me to hang out with new people.

1:14 Really?

1:14 I know after you just said, like, I'm so extra, but I'm actually really introverted.

1:20 Meeting new people isn't that hard, what?

1:23 I don't know.

1:23 I mean, I guess some people are.

1:25 Just just putting in the effort to say hello.

1:28 What's going on? It's just like this is just like a new chick that rolled in.

1:32 Yeah.

1:33 And OP is like jealous of her.

1:34 No, I don't think so.

1:36 I kind of feel those over to undertones, though.

1:38 I don't know.

1:39 I feel like this girl is jealous alone.

1:42 That's a good conspiracy theory.

1:43 That's why when planning my birthday, I wanted it to be just all of our friend group. When some people asked to invite others, I declined for the same reason. Also, partly because I didn't want to end up paying for a huge bill at the dinner, especially for people I didn't know as well. Are you paying for your own birthday dinner?

1:59 Yeah, get some real friends.

2:01 Yeah!

2:02 That's all you gotta do.

2:04 I felt a bit bad about it, though, so I offered for anyone who wanted to meet up with us to go clubbing afterwards. By the way, this comes from PrestigiousOne2002, and if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash ok story time subreddit. I'm Savannah.

2:18 I'm Mike.

2:18 I'm Riley, and Mike is my good comedy friend.

2:23 And we're here to talk about some stuff, get some advice, but we don't have all your answers. We're only going to tell you what we would do, but let us know what you would do down in the comments. As OP says, my friend asked, particularly begging, to let his girlfriend come, and I told him the same thing. He argued she doesn't have a car right now and couldn't meet up with us afterwards, but he has a car she could use. Our other friend is driving us home, so I didn't know why that was such a big issue.

2:49 I also said he didn't need to come if he or her didn't feel comfortable, but he told me it had nothing to do with her thoughts on me. She just wanted to be included. He ended up saying he would figure something out. I didn't hear much about it until.

3:01 The day of.

3:02 Everything went down smoothly at the dinner. We all had a great time. She met up with us at the first club and after avoiding me for a while, pulled me aside to chat. She told me she thought I was extremely weird and exclusionary and that she knew I hated her.

3:19 Oh, what's going on? That's some fighting words right over there, dude.

3:22 Yeah, on her birthday.

3:24 On her birthday too, I forgot. And where she's paying for her own dinner. Insane.

3:29 I'm aware I might come off as an aggressive person, but I was a little stunned in the moment. She had drank a lot, so I tried to be civil but didn't know what else to say except that I never meant to come off as such. She said that made it even worse because I wasn't even self-aware of the behavior. Girl, who cares? Just be like, oh, actually, you know, we don't really know each other that much and I wasn't invited to your birthday dinner. That's cool.

3:53 Now I'm out clubbing. We're celebrating. Who cares?

3:56 That's all it is though, right? Like she wasn't invited. Okay. Yeah.

3:59 Yeah.

3:59 She wasn't invited to the dinner, but she was invited afterwards.

4:01 Yeah.

4:02 A lot of people, a lot of people do kind of forget that like not everybody needs to be invited everywhere. You know what I mean?

4:08 Like you got, you got friends, you got close friends, you got family, you know, everyone's in a different category.

4:13 It's the different like levels and like closeness. You know what I mean?

4:17 She also said it was hypocritical to assume she was insecure of me when I was obviously the territorial person. I think that's because of the conversation I had with my friend about her coming before. I said, all right, and walked away because I didn't want to escalate the situation when we had been drinking. It's now the next day and I'm not sure what to do. I honestly don't really want to reach out because I feel like she insulted me, but also do not want to make up because I feel like it's a misunderstanding. And there are some comments.

4:46 Oh man, this, this, I swear to God, this to me does read just like chick stuff. You know what I mean? I swear to God, bro. You know, it's like he didn't invite me. You know, she didn't invite me. I was like, bro, it's just like this is so dumb.

5:00 Commenter one says Opie is in love with friend and can't deal with him being with someone else. Thus is acting like a brat. Opie responds. I have a boyfriend who I've been with for almost two years. My friend is like a brother to me. Our parents are really close, so we grew up almost as such. Comment number two says, Do you have a low social battery, or are you an extra person who wants to make a whole night of it in the club? Something doesn't add up here.

5:26 Not sure if you are the a-hole or not, but you are not telling the whole truth either to us or to yourself.

5:32 Whoa.

5:34 And that's exactly what I pointed out, too. I'm really listening to this story.

5:37 Damn, we got a potential clock moment going on over here, dude. Holy schmoly, dawg.

5:43 OP responds, I don't know if my perspective makes any sense, but I consider myself an outgoing person who enjoys fun things, but I wear myself down really fast. I am able to have a fun night out and want to from time to time, like on my birthday, but it takes a lot out of me and I need a while to recharge. Especially if I'm around people I don't know that well.

6:02 Yeah, it's fair.

6:03 Normal.

6:04 Same way.

6:05 Comment number three says, I do get that, but since you were going to the club and we're going to be around hundreds of strangers anyway, it seems a bit pointless to limit the number of people at dinner. If you just didn't want her around at dinner or if it was about money, that is absolutely valid. But be upfront about it. She probably acted like a butt after a few drinks and seems like you made a big deal out of it that didn't have to be one.

6:29 Just my reading of the situation. I'm not American, as you can possibly tell. And the idea of paying for your own birthday dinner seems really weird to me. If it's a normal thing over there, then you have my sympathy.

6:39 You know who that sounded like? The friend's girlfriend.

6:42 The thing is, I feel like none of these commenters have read the story. And I've never thought that before. I'm usually like, what's happening? So the fact that I am getting the story and like these people aren't, there's something.

6:54 Going on here.

6:55 There's something going on here, man.

6:56 Because she said, she's like, one, she's not in love with him. They are like sister and brother. That is what their relationship is. Next, she didn't invite everyone to dinner because there would be a lot of freaking people. And it wasn't just her. It was everyone. Like, everyone was like, oh, can I have a plus one? No, you can't.

7:15 I still can't get over the fact that she's paying for her own dinner.

7:17 Me neither, dude. Oh, my gosh.

7:19 It is like, dude, it's her birthday. It's her day. You know what I mean? Take her out. Take her out. Take her out, though.

7:27 Opie responds, in my personal experience, it probably doesn't apply to everyone in America. It's like an appreciation thing. I want to be able to get my close friends together and celebrate how much they mean to me, especially since they've gotten me through a lot of lows. It's not as if none of them got me anything in return either.

7:45 Many of them gave me a gift or paid for drinks later that night. As for the club versus dinner, dinner was more of an intimate thing and afterwards was the traditional party. There really weren't that many people at the dinner and I mentioned personal stuff and my gratefulness towards them. I thought inviting more people to go clubbing with us after could be a good compromise, but I didn't take into account that it could come off as weirdly selective slash hypercritical. It's not! The fact that this girl is being weird about it, she's just, she's mad she didn't get invited to dinner.

8:17 Oh well.

8:18 Time out, time out, time out. Your boyfriend gets invited to dinner, but you're not.

8:23 She grew up with him. She doesn't know this girl.

8:25 That's his girlfriend.

8:26 I don't need your girlfriend. I've done this so many times. Like my sister had a birthday dinner with her friends and said I just like invited her guy friends and friends that are girls and then was like nobody bring their significant others.

8:41 Oh, okay.

8:42 Just wanted them to be there.

8:43 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just the people that you know.

8:45 I need all these people. Like, she hardly knows this girl. She hardly knows this guy. It's like, I just want my friends to be there.

8:51 It sounds like this girl is trying to make community and just having her at the end of the table with her boyfriend.

8:57 But then they'll be focusing on each other. It's like, I want you to be there for me.

9:01 There are times where I'll just be like, I just need the people that I know right now.

9:06 And also, it's my birthday. I can do whatever the hell I want.

9:10 Bro, nobody's paying for my dinner, my birthday dinner.

9:12 No one's paying for my birthday dinner, and you want me to invite strangers?

9:15 No.

9:16 It's my birthday dinner. I want my close friends here. That's it. And everyone else can come later on. Why is that such an issue?

9:22 I mean, this has got me riled up right now. It's insane. God, man.

9:28 Update. This morning, his girlfriend reached out to me. I was planning on reaching out, but she got to me first. She apologized for how she treated me at the club, but addressed how she felt uncomfortable around me and that her words weren't entirely dishonest. Then why are you apologizing if you meant it?

9:44 Yeah, I just like saying stuff just to say it, though. I just want to hear how it sounds when I say it. I don't believe in anything that I really say, you know what I mean?

9:54 But something I didn't know which made me feel even worse is that my friend suggested she should stay home the whole time because me and her were never gonna get along so that's a conversation for another time I don't really understand why he would say that I apologize profusely about leaving her out and that even though it was an unconscious decision that doesn't matter if someone's feelings are hurt It.

10:20 Was not an unconscious decision.

10:22 You hurt my feelings, I'm so sorry. My bad, nobody paid for your birthday dinner.

10:29 Nonetheless, I explained my perspective about dinner being a close-knit thing where I was paying for everyone's meals, which she did not know. And I said no to other people who had joined us at the club when she arrived. I learned when she told my friend she didn't mind waiting till the club, But when she arrived, thought it was practically only her who was showing up later. From that perspective, I totally can understand her thinking I was being intentionally malicious. We also talked about my social battery, which I know has been a big debate in the comments, which she said she was confused about because I come off as a louder person around my friends. So she thought it was just animosity toward her. I told her

11:11 my honest truth that I'm most nervous around people I don't know that well because of things like worrying I could screw up a friendship or become hated in a single conversation or from a joke that came off wrong. Ironically, it seems I had done just that by supposedly protecting my peace in the moment. I'll try to think bigger around stuff like that in the future and not get so in my head about my emotions. We came to the consensus that it was a big misunderstanding and that in general, better communication was needed across the board. She's going to talk to my friend about it, too, because he apparently painted a different picture out of the situation than my explanation. I'm going to leave that to her, though.

11:46 I don't think it's my place to talk on that quite yet. I won't go over everything else that happened, but we both are completely good with one another. We hugged it out and made plans one on one before she leaves because I do really want to get to know her and be her friend.

12:01 Wow.

12:02 But just not at your birthday.

12:03 This honestly is just like I feel like maybe just like a classic female relationship. Right. It is.

12:08 You suss them out, and it's like, all right, you're pretty cool. It takes a while to get there.

12:12 It's funny you say that. I was thinking, like, you guys usually hate each other at first, and then you guys are like, okay, you know, this is not too bad. Yep.

12:19 I'd prefer if people would stop assuming this is a romantic issue. I am truly happy with my own boyfriend. Love my pal, but he is just that. I'd also like to mention that none of her words were accusatory of me in such a way. She said territorial because that's how I came off in the group, which I'm going to try and work on. Still, I understand that these types of situations always come off a certain way because you don't actually see how any of us interact.

12:45 We're going to move on in life. We're all young college students who still are growing as people. And that's the end.

12:52 Aww.

12:52 You know what? I agree.

12:53 Yeah, that was a good ending. Good ending for that.

12:56 I mean, you can judge people. You're allowed to. You're allowed to have an opinion. You're allowed to judge. It's fine. Just don't be... You know, I can hate people on my own. I don't need to spread that hate. I don't need to, you know, make sure they know how I feel every second. Like, who cares what I think? Like, you know, if they like who they are, they like who they are. I just am not compatible with you. Like, that's it. And that's all right. That's fine.

13:19 That's a huge thing, dude. It's just like, it's okay to.

13:23 People like me for no reason.

13:24 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

13:25 People don't like me for no reason. So it's just human nature. I'll like who I like and I won't like who I don't like.

13:32 And that's the end of the story. We're going to go on to the next one.

13:36 I overheard my husband's phone call. One of his friends is cheating.

13:40 Damn. Got a lot of digits on.

13:44 That, huh? Me, 35 female, and my husband, 37 male, have been married for five years. He has a close group of friends, all married. Over the years, I've become friends with them and their wives, too. While we're not extremely close, I love spending time with them. We go on vacations together, have playdates with our kids, etc., A few months ago, I was sitting in our living room when I heard my husband having a heated conversation on the phone with someone. He wasn't trying to be secretive about it since he was talking loudly and hadn't closed any doors. After a while, I realized he was talking to one of his friends from this group. He was saying things like, man, can't believe he did that, he's

14:21 an a-hole, what are we supposed to do, etc., By the way, this comes from Keylephant, and if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash okay story time subreddit. I'm Savannah.

14:34 And I'm Mike.

14:35 I'm Riley, and Mike's here today to read stories with us. He's a good comedian friend of mine.

14:40 And we're going to talk about some stuff, get some advice, but we don't have everything in our little brains. We're only going to say what we know, but let us know what you know in the comments. As Opie says, after he hung up, I asked what was going on. My husband told me that one of friends had been cheating on his wife. Apparently, it had been going on for a while, and they had just found out. They were planning to confront him about it. Of course, I was shocked, angry, disappointed, and very, very sad for my friend.

15:10 Yeah, big shocker. Big surprise. Hey, my husband cheated on me. I'm sad. Dang.

15:18 She is such a sweet person, and all I could think about was how she was going to feel when she found out. A week passed, and my husband and the rest of the friend group confronted him. They told him they knew about the affair, asked him to stop, and told him he needed to confess to his wife.

15:33 These are good friends. These are great friends.

15:36 Apparently, he was very upset and shocked that he'd been caught. He said he was sorry for disappointing them and promised to end the affair and tell his wife everything. When my husband told me what had happened, I felt a little relieved. Then more days passed. I occasionally asked my husband if there were any updates, whether he knew if his friend had done what he said he would. My husband would answer, not as far as I know. Then weeks passed, and summer was getting closer. We were supposed to go on vacation with these people. Among all the wives, I was the only one who knew about the situation, as far as I'm aware. I asked my husband again if there had been any news because I knew I couldn't possibly look this woman in the eyes knowing what

16:18 her husband had done without telling her. My husband said no. His friend still hadn't talked to his wife. Oh, this guy's a... Nope. He's done. I'm telling her.

16:28 Yeah.

16:29 Hey! Hey, Brittany!

16:30 How are you doing with all the bad news that's happened? Oh, you don't know?

16:35 Like, oh my god, I'm so sorry about your husband.

16:38 What? Oh.

16:40 Exactly. That's exactly what I said.

16:42 His friend still hadn't talked to his wife. I told him I didn't want to go on vacation with a cheater. He said they couldn't exactly explain why without telling the wife, and there was nothing they could do. Oh, my God. Now you're all complicit.

16:54 Nothing they could do?

16:55 Okay, what would you guys do in this situation? Are you telling your buddy or what?

16:59 Oh, yeah. There's no question, dude. Well, I mean, I don't know, dude. Here's the thing.

17:04 It's like, I don't want to get involved, but, like.

17:06 Yeah, because then, like, now it's just you become... You become like roped into this.

17:13 It's like, oh, I'm angry at this. And you told me, so I'm angry at you for telling me. It's like, I just told you, girl.

17:19 Yeah. I'm just, don't shoot the messenger, baby. Yeah.

17:22 It was their marriage. And yes, I know it's their marriage. It's not really my place to go tell her, but I also can't go on this vacation. I don't want to be around this man. And I don't want to look this woman in the eye knowing what I know. I feel like I would be betraying her. This vacation is for the kids as much as it is for us.

17:41 They love playing together and I don't want my child to miss out on spending time with their friends.

17:45 Whose mom's a whore?

17:47 My husband insists it's none of our business. He says they did everything they could as a friend group by confronting him and telling him to come clean. He thinks I'm being unreasonable by wanting to get more involved and by refusing to go on the vacation. But I don't think they've done enough as a friend group. Why is a cheater still part of their circle? When I ask my husband that, He says it's because the wife is also part of the friend group and excluding her husband would essentially reveal that he's been cheating. Why do you not want to tell her?

18:16 It's like tell him at this point. This is starting to snowball into something so much worse now.

18:21 It's like, oh, so I'm the bad guy now for wanting to expose your friend who you should have exposed, I don't know, months before when you found this out.

18:33 This is a masterclass in manipulation, dude.

18:36 Like, My God, everyone's complicit now.

18:38 Ah, dude, it's crazy.

18:40 So I told my husband that if they weren't willing to do anything after all these months, I would go talk to her myself. This led to a huge fight between my husband and me. Am I being unreasonable? Am I the a-hole for wanting to tell her I'm refusing to go on this vacation? And there is an update. Uh, no, you are not the a-hole for refu- Like, I- I'm sorry.

19:01 I have declined invitations- where my friend has been with this horrible person, and they're like, oh my God, come out with us, or come over, or we're having a game night, I will be like, sorry, no.

19:15 And that's you minding your business.

19:17 And that's me not wanting to, I want to save face and be like, oh my God, hi, how are you? When I don't like you, and I don't care, and you cheated on my friend, and now I have to act like everything's cool. No, actually, I hate you, and I think you should go the F away.

19:33 Yeah.

19:35 There is an update. After reading some of the comments, I decided to talk to my husband once more, this time expressing my concerns that on vacation, things might explode and this woman might find out about the cheating in front of everyone else, and that wouldn't be great. I also pointed out that if she actually doesn't know, her health might be at risk since as far as we know, the cheating is still ongoing. So I asked him to go and speak to him again and explain that this is important since we are all going on this vacation together with our families. He listened to me and told me that he would speak to him again. Before moving on, I want to add that some people in this friend group sometimes do business together. The cheating husband and my

20:15 husband were also recently doing some business together. Anyways, a few days ago, my husband went to work and the cheater was supposed to visit him. But that morning, my husband told me he had a hunch. Because this person was cheating on his wife and lying to her with no sign of remorse, he thought, why not cheat in business too?

20:33 Yeah, he's cheating in every aspect of life, dude.

20:37 This guy is horrible. He's not your friend. He's not a good partner. He's not a good dad. He's a horrible person.

20:43 Not a good dad?

20:45 Yeah, what kind of role model is that to your children?

20:48 Oh, fair point.

20:49 There was a middleman handling the business they were doing together. He was the one finding the customers, etc. My husband gave him a call to make sure about this because he had a bad feeling, and he was right. As far as I understand, the cheater was using my husband to find customers, and after getting their contact information from the middleman, he was contacting them directly and removing my husband from the picture completely.

21:14 You know how much money he's probably lost from that?

21:18 This guy's horrible. It's so funny because now that it's affecting OP's husband, now he's like, oh, I should probably ruin his life, even though he ruined it before by cheating. But now he's like, you know what? Now I have a reason to tell him because I'm mad at him.

21:34 You should have been mad when he was cheating on her!

21:36 What?

21:37 Like, come on.

21:38 Okay, yeah, yeah.

21:40 My husband found out about this that morning. So there were now two things to talk about. When the CH visited, there was a huge argument. My husband was trying to make him admit to what he was doing. He also said some things about how he was an a-hole for cheating both in business and on his wife and that he was a piece of crap for still not telling his wife. And that's when things actually went crazy. The cheater in the heat of the moment first let slip the fact that actually two other people from their friend group were also cheating on their wives.

22:18 What?

22:19 What?

22:19 What?

22:19 That means your husband. Your husband statistically is also cheating on you.

22:24 And this is getting pretty crazy. I like what this is. I like this is some tea right here. This is some tea.

22:29 So the people who commented about this possibility were spot on. And they were basically keeping each other's secrets. The cheater found out about these affairs after the friend group confronted him about his cheating. The nerve of these people, right? And apparently, according to the cheater, she already knew.

22:49 No, she didn't. No, she didn't. He's just saying that.

22:54 Yes, the wife. She knew all along, even before us. She knew and she didn't say anything. Then she found plane tickets to Bali... This little bee literally bought plane tickets to Bali for himself and the person he's cheating with and paid for them using the card he shared with his wife. I was speechless. She couldn't take it anymore and confronted him. But for some reason, they are still together. At least they're still married. Whatever. Anyways, after exploding and blurting all of this out, he left. Of course, the business they were doing together is over now. My husband came home that evening and told me all of this.

23:38 He said he was feeling sick thinking that three of his close friends were cheating on their wives. But of course, he wasn't completely sure, so he talked to the other two friends later on to confirm it. And yes, they were cheating too.

23:52 Oh, holy... Oh.

23:55 My God, it's horrible. Horrible friends.

23:58 God, these guys sound like terrible people.

24:01 One of them was getting a divorce. The other one's wife was aware, but I don't know, and I don't want to know about their situation. Anyways, only one other friend and his wife are left in this friend group that we're on good terms with now. It got really messy really quickly. I'm honestly relieved. There was no need for me to get involved. I'm, of course, feeling sorry for these women. I really am. Maybe I'll give them a call after a little more time has passed to ask how they're doing. But for now, I don't want to get involved at all. They are all grown adults, and it seems like they're all aware of everything. Also, of course, the vacation is canceled. My husband has stopped talking to the three of them. We will be having

24:41 a smaller vacation with just the three of us, me and my husband and our kid.

24:46 Ooh, they're rich.

24:47 They only have one kid. Mikey, how you feeling about this story?

24:50 Man, this is a juicy, this is a jam-packed story from top to bottom, dude.

24:54 I didn't expect this outcome when I first posted this at all. But I guess you never know what goes on inside people's homes. I am still very much shocked. My husband is not feeling very well. He has been questioning all of his friendships. But I guess people change as they grow up and these kinds of things can happen with long-term friendships. Anyways, once again, thanks everyone. And there's a last minute edit. Since some people have been asking, I do have confirmation about the cheater's wife knowing for sure.

25:22 And the other couple is definitely getting a divorce. The only one I'm not completely sure about is the third wife. But the truth will probably come out sooner than later, the way things have been going lately. If not, I will call her.

25:35 That was crazy. I thought that was going to be like a scenario.

25:38 Oh, they were all in on it.

25:40 Yeah.

25:40 Dude, we have read some crazy.

25:43 Oh, dude, this one was a really good story.

25:45 This one was good.

25:46 This one's crazy. There's twists and turns everywhere.

25:50 God. Yeah, my bad. My bad. We like having a little whimsy, dude.

25:55 And that's the end of the story. We're going to go on to the next one.

25:59 My friend invited me to his wedding and expected me to set up and clean up.

26:06 No, actually, I'm not the venue.

26:08 I was recently a groomsman at a destination wedding. First, I want to say I still love the couple, have no hard feelings, and overall had a great time. I'm just curious how others would view this situation. We were asked to be groomsmen about five months ago. I hosted the four-day bachelor party at a family lake house where everyone flew in from out of state. I covered the groom's food, and there were no lodgings or entertainment costs.

26:34 The wedding was at a country club. Ooh, fancy. My wife and I spent over $ 3, 000 between flights, rental cars, outfits, lodging, golf, gifts. I mean, the whole nine yards. There you go. And other expenses. Dang.

26:48 That's not bad, though, for $ 3, 000.

26:50 Well, it required a five-hour flight and a three-hour drive. We were told to arrive Thursday because the Airbnb and there were weekend activities planned. The groom didn't arrive until 11.30 p.m., so everyone just sat around. The Airbnb had no AC and was 82 degrees inside. Oh, God. Two days before the wedding, we got a text saying the groomsmen were expected to set up the reception at 10am on the wedding day. We helped, but it meant carrying roughly 200 pound tables, 160 chairs.

27:25 What the heck?

27:26 They not have, they didn't, like the venue doesn't have people to do that. They don't, you know, hire anyone.

27:31 Oh, they do, the groomsmen.

27:32 That's not a thing.

27:34 They are at the venue. That's a part of the venue.

27:37 The groom stayed back at the Airbnb, which I understand, but I couldn't help wondering why a 30,000 plus wedding didn't hire the rental company to do setups. By the way, this comes from you slash Fanatic Freedom. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to r slash OK Storytime subreddit. My name's Mike.

27:55 And I'm Savannah.

27:56 I'm Riley.

27:57 And Mike is my good comedy friend. He's going to read this story and read this with us goofily.

28:02 Yeah, that's true, Riley. But also, too, like, we don't, like, we're here to, like, give advice, but we don't know all the answers.

28:07 Yeah, I don't know anything.

28:08 Yeah, dude. So, like, I mean, if you got something that you know, send it in the comments down below. That's all you got to do. Exactly. Uh, so as OP says, uh, we finished around 1130 AM, had no lunch and only an hour to get ready for photos. We asked who was tearing everything down after the wedding.

28:27 And the groom said he'd tell the coordinator we couldn't do it or the family could handle it the next day. An hour before the ceremony, the coordinator emphasized that everything had to be cleaned up that night. The groom remembered, quote unquote, the venue had told them that during the tour, we told him not to worry and to enjoy getting married.

28:47 We stepped aside and agreed that we weren't moving heavy tables after drinking, that we had to wake up at four to eight in the morning to make it to the airport on time. If the country club's bills the bride's dad who owns six plus houses, then so be it. The wedding was great. We danced, celebrated, and had fun.

29:06 Good for you. At the end of the night, I wanted to head back with my pregnant wife who had pushed herself to stay until the end. I was wasted, but not wasted, according to my wife. Instead, the groom's mom asked me to help because I was young and able-bodied. The groom's man asked why I wasn't helping.

29:23 Yeah, sounded like they saved themselves about $ 2, 500.

29:25 That's just, like, insane.

29:29 The fact that they are spending $ 30, 000 on a wedding and then also spending, like, you can't spend one more ounce, you know, when you have six.

29:40 Houses.

29:42 You can't hire a, you know, load-in, load-out crew. People do that. There's businesses specifically for that.

29:49 So.

29:50 Also, I don't know why the venue doesn't have anyone to do that. That's so stupid to request like the family and friends at the wedding to be like, oh, by the way, make sure you don't get too wasted because you gotta clean up. It's like, I'm not going to move a table. I'm sorry. I'm not going to pick up a chair. The only thing I'm taking home is probably some of the cake and I don't know, maybe a bottle to sleep with.

30:13 I sarcastically and loudly replied, That I was too wasted to be carrying 200 pound tables and that my kid at home deserved a dad who didn't get hurt. I tried to move a table anyway. It dropped hard and the other guys got mad, yelled at me to just leave. One said I was being a bad friend for not doing what needed to be done. I've only met these guys once and won't see them again. I felt bad afterwards.

30:39 But I also come from a culture where the wedding party are treated as honored guests, not unpaid labor.

30:45 That's what I'm saying.

30:46 Yeah.

30:47 You can, like, I mean, at the end of my brother's wedding, everyone, like, helped to, like, you know, get, like, the food in place and all that. But no one was moving chairs, moving tables. Like, we were taking down a little bit of the decorations. But, like, nothing to where, like, all right, this place has got to be spotless.

31:03 If we'd been told up front that setup and teardown were expected, then that would be fine. Or I would even help pay for the cleanup crew. Now we're talking. These guys don't have kids or wives, so maybe I'd be more flexible in a different life stage. I'll see the groom in a couple of months, and I expect everything will be fine. I'm wondering whether my behavior was unreasonable, and what would you have done? And that is our story.

31:31 I really don't think that they should have... Like, it's just the communication here sucked. And then on another note, just you shouldn't expect your guests to now clean up your wedding party after celebrating and going through this whole day. Like, I mean, I don't know what culture they are, but sometimes it's multiple days.

31:52 But.

31:52 even in just, you know, American culture, I guess, going through a whole day of doing everything, dressing up, being in, you know, probably uncomfortable clothes, whatever, eating, drinking.

32:02 I like to dress up, though.

32:04 No, I do like to dress up, too. Yeah, but if it's uncomfortable, like, I'm taking my shoes off. I'm not wearing heels all day. Don't even ask me. You know, and the fact that he was like, oh, by the way, tomorrow you're going to clean up after all of us. I'm like, that's so funny. You got me on that one.

32:21 I'll see you next month. Like, no, I'm not doing that. And I think kind of everyone sucks here. I think a little bit OP or the a-hole for kind of like knowing that you had to do this, but then being like, ah, I'm not doing this anymore.

32:35 Bye.

32:35 You know, like I would feel if I was the other groomsmen, I'd be like, okay, screw this guy, you know, whatever.

32:40 Also, but I think too, OP, that all that matters is like, you know, you had fun, you know, it was your special day, you know, You got to do whatever you got to dance, you know, party with friends, family, you know, as that shouldn't it shouldn't be like don't let that like a little stint like ruin what like the good times that you're having. You know what I mean? Opie, I don't think you're that you're the a-hole. But honestly, yeah, do some research next time, bro. Like that's all you need to do.

33:12 And that's the end of the story. We're going to go on to the next one.

33:15 My friend wanted me to quit my job for her due date.

33:20 Well, which is more important, baby or money?

33:23 My oldest friend is pregnant with her second child. I'm the godmother of the older one, and we have a very good relationship, but I live about six hours away. My friend has a hard time dealing with unpredictable situations. I offered to come and support her from the get-go, but also made clear that I have an important job right around the due date. I'm a freelancer, and that is a yearly job I've been doing for a long time.

33:48 It's not so much about the money anyways, but it means a lot to me and really is like a home that exists just once a year. Amen, brother. So in her early pregnancy, I offered to come right after that job and stay for a week to support them. She's been trying to plan the birth itself and struggled with the fact that she doesn't seem to have a network around her that she wants to trust with her kid.

34:11 She has a very specific idea of how everything should go down.

34:14 Want the baby to be 10 pounds, one ounce, and I want it to be in labor for under three hours.

34:20 She would like to get into the hospital with her husband and wants him to stay with her for three days while the older one stays home with somebody that she trusts. While that is possible where I live, it's not guaranteed, and maybe not ideal for the older one either. By the way, this comes from u slash realistic elephant 46, and if you want to submit your own stories, go to r slash ok story time subreddit, My name's Mike.

34:44 I'm Savannah.

34:44 I'm Riley. And Mike is my good comedian friend. He's going to be here to help us read this story.

34:50 Yeah, we're here to give advice, but we don't have all the answers. So if you guys have any advice that you'd like to give, go and leave it down in the comments below. But other than that, as OP says, originally the grandparents were supposed to stay with the kid, but my friend just broke off contact with them. So I moved into focus. Mind you, There are neighbors around who offered to babysit. There is another godparent that I had to remind her of that offered help. There are a bunch of friends that might not be as close with the kid, but there's still time to build that three more months from now, and that debate has been going on for a while. and they could also stay with her in the hospital while her husband stays with

35:30 the child for some time. The kid is in childcare too, and there is even a professional babysitter coming around regularly. And of course, nobody knows when the kid is coming anyways. I would be fine to come before or after the job. I've even been postponing to book my holidays because I want it to be flexible, and I'm not quite sure how she imagines me to get there anyways. Again, I'm six hours away. We couldn't really discuss that because after she broke off contact with the grandparents, everything went really fast.

35:59 She asked me to cancel my contract with the job over the phone, offering to cover my financial loss, and sent me a super emotionally manipulative message afterwards. Some quotes. Your boss won't be standing at your grave. The fortune of my family depends on you. Your godchild will be forever damaged if you don't come. Man, there it is.

36:20 Holy cow!

36:22 That is unhinged, dude.

36:24 Just because I can't make the birth of your child, I'm sorry. I guess throw me in the brig.

36:30 She's six hours away. What do you expect her to do?

36:33 And also, you have a life outside of that. And she can come and visit literally any time. Usually, this is the other way around. Everyone wants to come see the baby, and they're all like, no, only two people can come or something. Now it's just like, no one's coming. I need someone there. But it's like, I don't know why you put me in those plans.

36:50 We got some more of this story. So OP says, I told her to hold her horses and that I would take my time to think about it. She seemed to understand and told me I should take my decision freely, which I did. I offered to think about solutions together, but that I wouldn't cancel my contract. She's been blocking me for a week. I see her despair, and I feel horrible for her. I just don't think that I'm the flying savior. I've decided to drive there now because the emergency situation is here now, not later. Am I the a-hole? Um, no, I don't think you are. I think, uh.

37:27 Why would you be the a-hole?

37:29 At this point, she's just being reinforced that she's doing something wrong. And her friend needs to chill out.

37:34 You had one baby. Do I need to drop everything every time you get knocked up?

37:39 Yeah, well, also, too, like, I think, like, all you guys do, all you guys got to do is work out a schedule, you know? Like, hey, I can't work here this day, that day, which I'm pretty sure she already did because she was talking about, like, the job.

37:51 It's just crazy to compare any of what she did to anything.

37:56 Like.

37:57 It's not making sense. It literally is not making sense.

37:59 No, it's not. And this girl's being so dramatic. Focus on what you do have. What is there? Not, you know, oh, now I have to hold this over my friend's head. How dare she make me do that?

38:10 Like, what?

38:11 Like, come on. Be so for real. You're having a baby. Be happy that you're having this baby. Focus on that. Like, she's eventually going to come and see it. She doesn't have to be there in the room. I mean, come on.

38:22 Yeah, just, you know, work something out. Work something out with, you know, with your sister, you know. Just be like, yo, you know. I mean, I don't even know, like, hopefully your job offer didn't get canceled or get canned. But, yeah, dude, just be there for the baby when you can. In the meantime, just do you. Live your life, you know.

38:41 And that's the end of this story. We're going to go on to the next one.

38:45 Hey, Keon here. We're going to get back to the stories, but here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

38:49 My wife cooks the same three meals on repeat and I'm tired of it.

38:53 I want something different.

38:55 My wife, 24 female, and I, 24 male, have been acquaintances slash friends since we were 12 years old.

39:02 Wow.

39:02 Wow.

39:03 Dated for a year, then married for two. No kids.

39:06 I'm a successful software dev. She stays at home and cares for our fur babies and cooks and cleans. I love her so much and we're very open about and invested in working through problems. She probably does 80-90% of the regular housework, all laundry, dishes, pet cleanup. However, with any kind of weekly deep cleaning and catch up, I try to lead it and do more than my share.

39:28 I know she still does way more at home than me, and I have been so thankful that she does it so happily. I make a decent amount of money. I got my first six-figure salary at 23 after having to drop out of college after freshman year. It was a lot of luck and a lot of hard work. It was almost compulsive how much time I spent on getting better at it. Now I make 120K and I've got my career figured out. We are very lucky and we live a pretty happy life. She's constantly online shopping for makeup, everything from e.l.f.

39:56 To Mac.

39:57 She can buy whatever she wants. She definitely limits herself in budgets, but it's constant. Every week she's buying something. By the way, this comes from Fresh Username. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash ok story time subreddit.

40:12 I'm Sophia.

40:13 I'm Keon.

40:13 And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do. So let us know what you would do in the comments. And Opie says she never finished her community college degree.

40:23 She was never.

40:24 Invested in the career and just fumbled through. She worked at Starbucks and other various minimum wage positions, but they seem to just cause more harm than help. Driving 20 minutes at 5 a.m. to make $ 8 an hour at a place with tons of drama is That would just exacerbate her depression and anxiety. Not to mention it never even made a dent in the overall budget. So she decided to become a stay-at-home wife. I'm happy with it because things like cooking at home will help our budget.

40:51 We're terrible about eating out and budgeting, so I figured her devoting time to cooking and shopping would help. I really want her to go back to school and do something she really does care about and find a career if that's what she wants. We just have to get our debt under control first.

41:07 Today.

41:07 Our bank account is completely overdrawn every week. We never eat at home unless we have to. All of our expenses fit well within our budget, but we never plan for food. We budget a reasonable grocery budget, then promptly spend it all and more on takeout. Basically, takeout fills a large part of the money that should be going into the emergency fund or some other bill. So here's the cycle. I get fed up with the financial situation and we swear we're going to do better and eat at home more. We make no meal plan, but she's always adamant that she'll cook any time. When that time rolls around, it's usually a choice between spaghetti with meat sauce, cubed steak, and rice-a-roni crockpot barbecue chicken. No vegetables, no

41:49 sides that aren't boxed food, so we defer and eat out. And we keep doing it, even when we really shouldn't. I've confronted her about it, only for her to not really do anything. She added frozen broccoli or corn once or twice. I tried taking over a few nights and cooking different things to show her my process.

42:06 Oh.

42:07 And that it's really not that bad to find and try new things. So he can cook.

42:10 So yeah, OP. OP's the one who pushes for more vegetables than her, which is crazy.

42:15 Yeah, it is a little crazy that OP's out here having to cook and work full time again when.

42:21 She's a stay-at-home mom.

42:22 I just want some vegetables.

42:25 Yeah. I've tried helping her make a master recipe list or meal plan, but it always falls apart. I'm at that point where I feel the need to take it over and just fix it because this is ridiculous.

42:35 Well, you know what you do?

42:36 And this is weaponized incompetence.

42:37 Yeah, weaponized incompetence.

42:40 What do you do?

42:41 Also, if this is really the case of we're really at our wits end with our budgeting, stop buying stupid stuff. Stop buying the new makeup stuff. I don't know what you're buying too, OP, but.

42:52 Well, I feel like you kind of tell her, hey, if you're not going to cook and help me budget, then... You really shouldn't, not that you can tell her what to do, but you should be like, you really shouldn't be buying all this makeup stuff because we're eating out so much.

43:06 Yeah.

43:06 It's kind of one or the other. Sorry, your makeup fund is going into now the takeout fund.

43:10 Exactly.

43:11 It's like.

43:12 I mean, yeah, you can't get both now. You get one or the other because we need to start saving.

43:17 And you don't have to present that as like, I'm not allowing you. Just saying, hey, we just don't have the funds for that anymore. So it's either we cook or.

43:27 We have to cut back.

43:28 Yeah.

43:28 Just make a salad. Even a salad's easy.

43:31 Cooking's not that hard.

43:32 We make great money, have a super roomy budget, possibly part of the problem, and we live attached to a grocery store for F's sake. You're attached to a grocery store?

43:42 Come on.

43:43 But here we are again. A couple weeks ago, I jumped in and took over budget, and we got back on track. Our account was positive and everything was fine. Then this sent us right back. And this morning, she asks, so if we get paid, can I buy makeup?

43:56 Seriously? There it is.

43:57 And then you say no.

43:58 And you say no.

43:59 We don't have money for makeup. Sorry.

44:01 If you want to buy makeup, go get a job. Our account is completely overdrawn. We have bills due and there's no way we can make our account positive with this check. Trying to figure out what to get at lunch. There's almost no food in the house. I'm fed up with choosing between takeout and whatever she chooses to throw together.

44:19 And all she can think about is more makeup. I almost lost my mind.

44:24 Yeah, you know what?

44:25 Okay, honey.

44:26 I'm going to get food, and that's going to be for me.

44:28 Yeah.

44:29 Your makeup, I guess you're eating that for dinner.

44:31 Yeah, I think you just start saying, like, you can choose between makeup or food.

44:36 What's more important? And I have a very bad feeling she'll go, makeup, obviously. I don't know.

44:43 Maybe this is the kind of thing where you say, here's your budget. Here's the money that I will give you to spend how you would like. Once that is gone.

44:52 It's like when you give money to a kid and you're like, do you want the toy now? Or you get to save it and you can get more money for later. And obviously, most of the time, the kid is going to go, now?

45:04 Exactly.

45:04 And that's kind of the problem because I feel like a lot of my suggestions kind of infantilize her. I'm like, oh, you can treat her like a child, teaching her how to use her money.

45:13 But sometimes you have to.

45:15 She just doesn't know how to use money at all.

45:17 I mean, kind of neither do you, if we've gotten to this point.

45:22 But yeah, this is his money.

45:24 Yeah.

45:25 I told her she shouldn't and that we need to get our bank account together. She claims it's also because of things we spend on together, not just the food. I tried to tell her how our core process isn't working. We get along incredibly emotionally, but completely terrible at this whole life skills thing. She takes it personally and says, I'm making her feel terrible that she doesn't do enough.

45:46 Well, you don't.

45:47 I tell her that normal people eat balanced meals and cook at home much more often. She gets pissed because that's just the way she was brought up. And I'm apparently stuck up for wanting balance and variety. She says she already does the laundry, takes care of the dog and rabbit, takes care of our bills and errands, our once or twice weekly shopping trip next door, and cleans.

46:09 and that I have way too high of expectations for her because I keep asking for more. I don't want to be the controlling husband or otherwise assume she should do something because she's the wife. Just pick up during the day. Trash, dishes, directly dirty things.

46:22 So she's not even doing that!

46:24 Cook sometimes, me and the budget are okay with eating out a few times a week, and feed and take out the pets. I love her more than anything in the world, and she's the reason I'm able to get out of bed and deal with my anxiety to get through the day. But it's hurting me to watch this happen week in and week out over something that's so basic and wouldn't be much trouble to fix.

46:44 That's crazy.

46:45 Okay. Yeah.

46:46 Very good on you to be like, she's the reason I get up in the morning and like very happy. But then you come back home and you're like, but the bank account is giving me anxiety.

46:53 Yeah.

46:54 Why is it giving me anxiety? Oh, because yes, you, partially you, OP, but also her.

47:00 Yeah, she's the reason I'm able to deal with my anxiety that she brings me.

47:04 It's like the Ouroboros, the snake eating itself.

47:07 Yes, literally.

47:08 And it is a source of a lot of anxiety for me. I'm sorry if a lot of this was a rant, but I really need to talk about this to someone other than her. I feel like for her to do anything right, I have to intervene. I feel like I'm not worth more than a half-butted attempt at.

47:22 Her end of the responsibilities.

47:24 She feels like I'm never satisfied and that I'm asking too much.

47:28 You're never going to be satisfied.

47:29 She's never going to be satisfied.

47:31 Eliza.

47:33 And we both agree that neither of us made our expectations of a regular couple very clear from the beginning.

47:38 Oh my gosh. Opie's Alexander Hamilton.

47:40 Opie's Alexander Hamilton.

47:43 But we do have an edit.

47:45 I fear this is what happens when you get married after a year and didn't live together.

47:50 Yeah.

47:51 Or like two, like, yeah. How has this never come up before?

47:55 But they've only been married for.

47:57 But they've been together for three years total.

47:59 Two years married. And it seems like this has been an ongoing issue for maybe those two years.

48:04 And OP, I feel like you bring up the problem, she doesn't care, and then you just let it continue.

48:08 Yeah, OP's like, well, that's it. I brought it up.

48:10 I tried my best here.

48:12 Bummer.

48:13 Like, this needs to be a sit-down, serious conversation... Saying, I can't do it like this anymore.

48:19 Truly.

48:20 We don't have money.

48:22 The fact that you're making six figures and you are.

48:25 Overdrafting.

48:26 What are you spending your money on?

48:29 Food and makeup, it seems.

48:31 Edit. Yes, there are other poor financial decisions. We have YNAB, which is a budgeting tool. I try every week to get us back into it. Complications, depression, and anxiety for both. She is very picky about food. Her upbringing included very plain, repeatable meals.

48:47 And there it is. Could never be me.

48:50 You know.

48:51 This was typed pretty hastily and didn't have a ton of time.

48:54 I'm at work, but it's given me so much anxiety I can't think about anything else. If there's anything I can elaborate on or rework, I would be more than happy to. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. And we do have an edit, too. My family was really bad about overdrafting before I moved out. My mom passed when I was 22, and things at my house went to crap as I was the breadwinner and they took advantage of it.

49:18 I was only making $ 50, 000.

49:20 Then and i never had any money just went into that black hole so i moved out i made the mistake of not getting all my crap together then and left with an overdrawn bank account combine that with an ever skyrocketing salary since then and wonder at my newfound money that i could actually spend it was easy to make stupid spending decisions And sink into that old habit my family had. It pissed me off so much then, but it's easy to ignore the signs that you're being just as careless when your income just keeps ratcheting up with your spending.

49:51 Dang, you just, so you never stopped living this life.

49:54 So it is also OP, which is what I thought, because I was like, there's no way that they're overdrafting if OP is also not bad with.

50:02 Money, you know?

50:03 Yeah, OP, I think obviously you are part of the problem, but yeah, this is not good.

50:09 No.

50:10 So yeah, we have bad family histories, and our upbringing was generally terrible. We know how stupid it is. We've created a black hole for our own family, and the only thing to do is to just fix it. We know how. We have the tools. We will do it. We've got a final update.

50:27 What do you think OP should do?

50:28 I mean, you guys have the tools here, but... It's only if you can use the tools correctly.

50:34 Yeah.

50:34 You know, it's like, oh, I have a hammer and a nail. But if you're putting the hammer on the thing and the nail at the hammer, not going to work.

50:40 No, you're just breaking your hammer.

50:41 Yeah. It really feels like both of them are just very, I don't want to say inept, but very clueless maybe when it comes to how to save and how to, you know, budget. So maybe going to a financial class or something like that.

50:59 Yeah, maybe like a limit on spending. You can do that.

51:03 Because even if she gets a job, that doesn't mean that you guys will just suddenly learn how to budget. It just means you'll have more money to spend and you're going to keep doing that until you learn how to budget.

51:14 I want to know what you're spending your money on, OP, because there's no way in heck it's just her.

51:20 Yeah.

51:20 There's no way. Yes, again, together you guys are getting takeout. She's getting makeup. What else are you spending your money on?

51:26 I think we might be finding out. Update says we waste money on stuff we don't need.

51:31 Oh, wow.

51:31 Shocking. Yes.

51:32 Stop getting stuff you don't need. That's the other big step.

51:35 We did see that coming. Way more than she spends on makeup. Like, seriously, we have a problem. We have YNAB and a budget. We actually do go buy it when we use it. But stop using once we screw up and get overwhelmed. And we both committed to not spending any on unnecessary things until we get our bank under control. Because we know this crap is ridiculous. I talked to her and the food was definitely a communication problem.

52:01 She's been holding things back because of my anxiety and fights we've had before. It was a simple problem for me to solve, but she thought it would exacerbate my anxiety. I didn't make it clear enough to her before how much the meal thing really bugged me. So she had no idea it was way more important to me. We're doing the meal plan right now. First meal being dinner tonight.

52:21 And that's the end of the story.

52:23 I don't know. I feel like we've gotten that before. And he's like, we've talked about it. And we worked on it for a couple days. It's going to go back.

52:32 I think you really should.

52:33 Because it seems like you guys are like, oh, well, when we're overwhelmed, we just regress. But then when we're not overwhelmed, we're like, oh, okay, we can fix this. So you really should go to a therapist or a financial therapist. To figure out how to not put yourself in a hole when you get overwhelmed.

52:53 Again, it's the Ouroboros cycle, another cycle of we get money. We don't want to spend money, but then we get anxiety. So when we get anxiety, you know what helps us?

53:03 With the anxiety?

53:04 With the anxiety? Spending money. And then you're like, oh, that helped, and then we feel better now. And then wait, now we have anxiety again.

53:11 It's just a cycle. But that's the end of that story, and we've got another one coming right up.

53:17 My husband refused to ask his family for help after our daughter got in the ER?

53:21 That's the time when you ask.

53:23 We have a trigger warning for this story. Detailed mention of a dog attack and pretty graphic injury. So if you don't want that, skip this story. This weekend, my 34-female daughter, Ava, 13-female, wanted to go over to her grandparents' house to spend some time with them. My sister-in-law, 30-female, was also visiting the grandparents' house, and she had her hunting dog with her, named Ella. Everything was going A-OK.

53:48 My husband, 35 male, and I were out enjoying a date night when we got a message from Ava that Ella tried to lunge at her, but then grandma got between them. Then we get an update two minutes later that the dog had bit Ava and she was bleeding. So we rushed to go pick up Ava. There was a lot going on at the grandparents' house that day.

54:11 My husband started freaking out and yelling on the way there, so I told him we should be more empathetic, because the grandparents did not want this to happen either, and they are having a hard time too. The Cistern Law's dogs have a history of behavioral health problems. I actually was bitten by their other dog, who was unprovoked, two years ago as well. However, I chalked it up to me not being smart in approaching their dog. and the dog didn't break my skin. I'm a little more than frustrated that if they knew the dog had issues, that it was allowed to roam the house. This dog has barked at Ava before, and it also bit the grandparent in the face last night, but did not break skin.

54:49 By the way, this comes from user BagelsForeverX, and if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit. I'm Kion.

54:57 I'm Sophia.

54:57 And both of us are going to give advice, uh... I think everyone's in agreeance here. What are we doing?

55:03 What are we doing?

55:05 Let us know what you do in the comments down below. Like yell a little bit.

55:09 Yeah.

55:09 As OP says. So we get Ava and we go home. The dog bite was on the back of the knee and the dog did puncture skin in one spot. The puncture was pretty deep. And after an hour, it was still bleeding. I called the nurse line through my insurance and the nurse assessed us and recommended we go into the ER within the hour.

55:30 Yeah.

55:30 Yeah.

55:31 The ER did a CAT scan because the bite was right on a joint. The ER decided not to stitch the wound, but they cleaned it and gave us antibiotics. Ava is okay. She had a lot of adrenaline, but she's resting at home in her room, and she is sore, which makes sense. The following day, I started talking to my husband about how much this is going to cost us and how we should talk to the brother-in-law and sister-in-law when he gets back in town. Or talk to his parents about homeowner's insurance to see if they can help.

56:03 My husband doesn't want to ask for any financial help. Stating that his parents wouldn't ask us if it was reversed. And that his sister does not work so they don't have money. I counter that his sister and brother-in-law just decided to buy a house worth double the value of their previous home this year. That their home was just fine and they just upgraded. And that we could probably work out something together. He told me I have always hated his family and that I'm coming after them. I told him that's not true. For example, I talk to his mom more than he does. And I was the one who calmed him down before we got to their house.

56:39 I was the one who sat with his family and calmed them down and gave everyone hugs. And I told everyone it was okay and that accidents do happen. We have had major difficulties with his family in the past. but we have all grown and I really do try to do my best. Also, I would like to say that we do have a difficult relationship with the sister.

56:59 The dynamic between the sister and her parents is very weird because she has health issues and she is prioritized a lot. It has happened multiple times where the sister is chosen over us. And this makes asking for this even harder as I know what is going to happen. Also, The grandparents have rented a condo at the beach a few months out, out of their own pocket, for a family vacation for all of us. So it's difficult to want to put a financial burden on someone else. I am not asking for someone to write me a check tomorrow.

57:30 Ava is safe and at home. And bills aren't due immediately. But I'm asking my husband to consider asking his family for help. Since it was something that happened under their care.

57:40 And it was something that happened because of their dog.

57:44 And Opie says this. It happened at their home with their dog.

57:48 Yes.

57:49 Agreed.

57:49 Yeah. They're liable.

57:51 They're full.

57:52 You could sue them. You literally could sue them.

57:54 Yeah.

57:55 Like, I get it. Accidents happen. But just, like.

57:58 That's like saying like, oh, accidents happen with cars. And so we should just not make the person who was driving and hit, you know, another car liable.

58:07 Yeah, it's OK. Accidents do happen in our state. The dog owner is liable for the bite. I would hope so. That would make sense. I would like to have the family consider if the homeowner's insurance would help. Or if there is a way where some money can be set aside for payments. I have a high deductible plan. I have been sued for by my medical debt twice by this hospital for unpaid bills, and I don't want to do it again. It is a big financial burden for us, but we wanted to make sure Ava was okay. I don't feel like we should have to front the bill.

58:39 Am I the a-hole?

58:41 And we have a consensus here and some relevant comments. But Sophia, is Opie the a-hole?

58:48 No.

58:49 And you could sue them. And I would talk to your husband and say, hey, we could sue them. Like, this is a suable offense. Do you not understand that? Like, they should pay.

58:58 Yeah.

58:59 And I would go up to her and be like, do you want another medical burden or another bill that's going to be burdening us? Because this affects your daughter as well. But your husband's too.

59:10 Stubborn. Stubborn.

59:12 Not pompous is the word, but he's just too high and mighty to be like... He's like, I don't want their.

59:18 I feel like he's viewing it from, oh, well, I don't want their charity. I don't want to ask them for help.

59:23 I don't need their money.

59:24 And it's like, no, no, no. They owe you money.

59:27 They're the reason we're in this... Yes. fiasco in the first place. So we do have a consensus on OP and some relevant comments here. The consensus is that OP is not the a-hole, but also the a-hole for letting her daughter go to her grandparents' house knowing there was a dog present at the time. Relevant comments here. Commenters saying, Ava said she feels it was her fault? What happened prior to the dog lunging at her? Was the dog napping?

59:54 Did she step on the tail when trying to pass the dog? OP says, no. She just feels guilty. It was unprovoked. We had the same story from everyone involved. Ava was cutting apples. The dog howled at her. They thought the dog needed to go potty. So the sister-in-law took the dog out. The dog came back in and went up to Ava. Ava jumped back a little bit because she was scared and the dog lunged for her.

1:00:16 Commenter here says, you are not wrong for wanting help with the bill, but it should be the sister-in-law that you ask for help. It's her dog, and the grandparents' homeowner's insurance shouldn't have to be used. It will increase their homeowner's insurance, though. Opie says, that makes sense to me.

1:00:32 The in-laws always help out the sister-in-law because they're always talking about how they don't have money. Again, I don't know how their finances are, but they did just buy a new house. I would like my husband to call the brother-in-law when he gets back into town. He's the one who manages the finances and works. Also, he's the level-headed one, so I think it'll be an easier approach.

1:00:53 I don't want their insurance to go up either. I was just thinking maybe it wouldn't be as much of a burden to the sister-in-law if the insurance covered it. I also highly expect the grandparents to try and pay for the sister-in-law if they knew we were asking for their money, which I don't want them to have to do that. Commodore here says, Everyone sucks here. You literally left your child in a home where dogs roam freely, and you have been bitten. So this is a known issue.

1:01:18 This is crazy.

1:01:19 This is crazy to be like, you left your child in a home where there are dogs. You deserve to be bitten.

1:01:25 What? I have a dog at home.

1:01:28 If my dog or my parents have a dog, if my dog bit someone else, I wouldn't be like, well, you knew what could have happened. You walked into my house with a dog in it.

1:01:39 I mean, I would have been like, can we keep the dog separate? Like, can we just keep the dog outside for just a little bit of time?

1:01:46 If they knew, if they knew, but OP earlier said that they didn't know that it had behavioral issues.

1:01:51 But I don't know.

1:01:53 But the grandparents did.

1:01:55 The grandparents did.

1:01:55 The grandparents got bit the night before.

1:01:57 Sister-in-law has a history with these dogs or their dogs being very aggressive.

1:02:02 Exactly. Exactly.

1:02:02 They all knew.

1:02:04 So even more so, they should be paying for this. OP didn't know.

1:02:07 It's just a dog.

1:02:08 This commenter continues saying the greater a-hole are the owners of the dogs that attack humans. You report the bite to the authorities. You can sue them for compensation and move on with your life. Their dog hurts someone. It's their responsibility for paying the damages.

1:02:23 Yes.

1:02:24 Obi responds to that comment saying, it's fair to say that and it's okay to judge. However, we did not know the dog would roam free. When the dog is at the in-laws, it's typically outside on a leash or in a cage. Again, my mom's senses were tingling, but it was an accident all around. No one wanted it to happen. Their other dog who bit me passed away of their health issues. This was a communication issue on my part. So I can see your point. I should have confirmed the dog would be put up. I just assumed the best and didn't expect the worst. They are still family and I trusted them. And we have an update.

1:02:59 I think that's super fair. I think it's super fair. And now he's never going to make that mistake again.

1:03:03 Truly.

1:03:04 But I agree. Don't go for the your grandparents for the homeowner's insurance. Go for the sister-in-law.

1:03:11 Yeah.

1:03:11 I mean, raise the dog. It's their dog.

1:03:13 Yeah.

1:03:14 Just ask.

1:03:15 Yeah, I think it's a simple ask of like, hey, can you help out? Because it was your dog who bit Ava.

1:03:19 Yeah.

1:03:20 Here's an update. A lot of you said to validate that the dog was vaccinated for rabies. I'm so thankful for everyone's seriousness because it wasn't vaccinated.

1:03:28 And so now you got to go take your daughter to get a freaking rabies shot.

1:03:32 And how is this not brought up immediately? Immediately. How is this not brought up?

1:03:38 It's like OP expects a certain amount of trust and trust. uh, honesty because they are family. And I get that. I'm like, yeah, of course you would trust them.

1:03:47 Even if it is family. I'm just like making sure like, Hey, this, this, this, this, but like, but Opie didn't do it until the commanders told her to validate the dog. Yeah. I wouldn't think about that.

1:03:58 That's crazy.

1:03:58 I would not think about that would not be my first thought. Um, and I would also think that the doctors would be like, Oh, you should get that checked out, which it's crazy that they went to the ER and weren't like, Hey, did this dog have its rabies shots? Because if I'm a mom and I'm scared, I don't know.

1:04:14 I just understand the fear. My mom got attacked by a dog when I was with her. And it's very chaotic. And I took her to the ER and stuff. And so you kind of expect that the doctors are going to be like, do this, do this. Because you have so much going on in your mind.

1:04:28 Yeah.

1:04:29 I think this is all on the family, the owners of the dog.

1:04:32 Today, I called the sheriff and reported the bite. So we can take the next steps to make sure the dog is quarantined and manage appropriately. I told the family, so they are now aware. I'm following up with Ava's primary care tomorrow to see what the medical opinion is on whether we should go ahead and get the rabies shot.

1:04:50 Their office is closed now, or else I'd call now. My husband went over to their house today and confirmed the sister will pay our bills. This was covered without any hesitation.

1:05:00 Good.

1:05:00 I'm still not okay with my husband's response. We slept apart last night and we have therapy this week, which we will use to find a way to heal. Lastly, and sadly, the family has canceled the vacation, which we figured would be the response. Thank you again for really pushing for the confirmation on vaccines.

1:05:15 Yeah, smart.

1:05:16 We are taking every step to make sure that dog is quarantined and our daughter's safety is top priority. We have more relevant comments here. Well, we found out a bad thing, but now... Jumping from the bad thing of the rabies is a good thing that sister-in-law will pay for everything.

1:05:32 Yes, but she should. Absolutely.

1:05:34 Yeah.

1:05:34 Could you imagine not paying for any of this? It's not my fault. It's the dog's fault.

1:05:37 Yeah.

1:05:38 Relevant comments. And Opie responds to multiple comments on waiting to ask her daughter's doctor about the rabies shots instead of getting them immediately. Like I said, Opie was advised to ignore the medical advice and take Ava to the ER for rabies shots. Opie says, hi, I'm not sure I understand what you mean about vaccinating my child to begin with. It's not a preventative shot that's offered here.

1:05:59 Yeah, you can't get preventative shots.

1:06:00 What?

1:06:01 We did not know the dog was unvaccinated until tonight, and I followed up with a nurse, with medical advice, and with the sheriff.

1:06:07 I don't think OP is doing anything wrong here. I think OP is doing everything right.

1:06:11 I'm following exactly what the medical professionals are telling me to do. I absolutely promise I don't want my daughter to pass away of rabies, and I'm doing everything in my power to protect her.

1:06:21 Also, again, rabies, like, OP's got time. Rabies doesn't become a problem right away. It just stays dormant. You just do have to get a shot before at least a couple weeks, but it's not immediate.

1:06:34 Yeah.

1:06:34 It's not like a zombie bite.

1:06:37 No, it's very treatable.

1:06:39 If it's just one day or a couple days, it should be fine, but I would be like, let's get this on top of our priority list.

1:06:49 I think it's very normal for OB to be like, hey, doctor.

1:06:52 What do you think? And Opie continues saying, yep, exactly. The dog is quarantined. There is a reason dog to human rabies transmission is low in the US. It's because our system works and I'm following the system and every single piece of professional advice that I've gotten in the last 24 hours. I am doing everything I can. And that's good to know. Thank you for sharing. I'm following up again with her primary tomorrow and we have an appointment Thursday. So I will get medical advice on next steps on what to do. I'm following the instructions I've been given, but I will see if I can get a hold of a pediatrician or someone with medical advice.

1:07:25 I just called the nurse line for her pediatrician, and I'm following protocol from an animal control and the nurse. Another commentary says, what the heck? No rabies vaccine? How irresponsible are the owners of the dog?

1:07:37 So irresponsible. We are learning so irresponsible. They should not own dogs.

1:07:43 Opie says, I agree. I was so angry I hung up on my husband when he told me. And we have an update two, three days later. Your daughter has rabies now.

1:07:52 I'm going to.

1:07:53 Just kidding.

1:07:53 I'm kidding.

1:07:53 I looked it up because I was interested. So I asked, if you get bit by a dog without rabies, without a rabies shot, should you always get the rabies shot?

1:08:03 And it says not always.

1:08:04 If the dog is healthy and can be watched for 10 days, which is what the quarantine is for, you might not need.

1:08:08 The shots right away.

1:08:10 If the dog stays healthy, it does not have rabies when it bit you, meaning you don't need the vaccine. However, if it shows signs of rabies, then you should get it.

1:08:17 So.

1:08:18 We don't know that this dog has rabies. It's being quarantined to find out. So the doctors might have advised her, like, you might not need it.

1:08:26 We play the waiting game. Have your daughter bite.

1:08:28 The dog back.

1:08:29 Yeah, and then we'll see who has rabies.

1:08:31 Update two, three days later.

1:08:33 Hi, all.

1:08:34 I thought that things may finally calm down and go back to normal for our little family. Boy, was I wrong. Ava had a follow-up appointment today with her pediatrician. And the pediatrician stated that as long as the dog is quarantined, Ava doesn't need to go get the vaccine. The hard part has been getting status updates about the dog.

1:08:55 Yeah, so they're like, we don't even know if this dog is still okay yeah i well sometimes they just put the dog down and then you're like well i don't well now we'll never know yeah it's like no this is.

1:09:05 So dumb the sheriff's department has been unhelpful and unable to provide any status update on our case we have called at least five times and received zero update i've reached out to the county health department And they are now escalating and helping us investigate the dog's status.

1:09:20 Good.

1:09:20 So now we can monitor it. Unfortunately, because we couldn't find out the status of the dog, we did reach out to my mother-in-law as a third party to see if they had any information to provide to us. And that conversation did not go well. The mother-in-law first asked us if we were recording.

1:09:35 This is so stupid. It's like, hey, hey, focus. Your granddaughter might have rabies.

1:09:42 Honey, are you recording right now? If you're recording, I can't tell you the truths.

1:09:46 Yeah, come on.

1:09:47 Multiple times they have implied that we are going to sue them.

1:09:51 You should.

1:09:52 I mean, if you keep going like this, I will. She also stated that she would not have called animal control. She was being very defensive about giving status updates on the dog. We finally found out the dog is quarantining at home and the sister-in-law has to send pictures to the sheriff every day of the dog or else it will get taken. I don't trust this. The sheriff's office didn't even call us back and no one had any notes in our case. With that being said, I'm going to talk to my husband about going ahead and getting the vaccine for our daughter.

1:10:21 Yeah. At this point, that makes sense because you don't know.

1:10:23 It's just like, why am I playing a guessing game if no one's giving me information that should be very pertinent to this case?

1:10:32 Would you cut off the family at this point?

1:10:34 For how stupid they're handling this?

1:10:36 Yeah. Well, stupid and also dangerously. Like, they don't even care that their granddaughter slash niece... It might be in danger.

1:10:42 The last of your worries is me suing you. It's about my daughter, aka your granddaughter.

1:10:46 Who was in your care.

1:10:48 I would cut off. I would probably go very low contact after this. Yeah. After the bills are paid.

1:10:54 Yes.

1:10:54 Yes.

1:10:55 After we get paid or maybe we just go sue them.

1:10:58 Get your money. Go low contact. Very easy. Your in-laws suck.

1:11:03 They suck.

1:11:03 They suck. Like again, I never had, and maybe I'm, viewing this story from the perspective of like, I've always had very good relationships with all dogs in my life. Like I've never had a bad experience. Um, so I just fully see this as the owner's problem, the owner's, um, mistake. And, uh, yeah, they, they should pay. They should be sued.

1:11:27 If you need to. I would cut them off.

1:11:29 See, this is where I come in. I've had very bad experience with dogs because I can tell. I had, well, cause I, For me, I would feel like I was going to pass away because I had asthma and I was allergic to dogs. Oh, you were allergic. So breathing was impossible.

1:11:46 Yeah.

1:11:46 And the family members who are like, whenever we'd go visit family with dogs or anyone with dogs, you could tell like who cares and who doesn't care.

1:11:54 Yeah.

1:11:55 Like, oh, he's fine.

1:11:55 Yeah.

1:11:56 Until I'm not fine and I start literally breathing, like trying to breathe through a straw.

1:11:59 Yeah.

1:12:00 I had to go to the ER a bunch of times growing up. It was very traumatic.

1:12:04 Yeah.

1:12:04 Because... It wasn't cool.

1:12:07 But you've never been bit, like, seriously by this dog?

1:12:12 Not necessarily, but I always kept my distance from dogs.

1:12:14 Because you were allergic.

1:12:15 Because I was allergic. But, like, it was also, like, a safety thing because I didn't want to get licked. I didn't want to get bitten. I didn't want to get scratched.

1:12:22 Any of that.

1:12:23 Because I was so afraid of going back to the ER. Because, one, it cost a lot of money. I mean, we had health insurance. But it was just, like, bills are expensive.

1:12:32 Yeah.

1:12:33 And, two.

1:12:34 You think I like the feeling of not breathing?

1:12:36 So I think that makes sense where you're coming from of like, be very cautious. I've been raised, your mom had experience. So you've been raised to be very cautious. I think I'm kind of on the other side of like, I have always been very, you know, be careful around dogs because they're an animal. But I've always been very comfortable around dogs. So I would be probably similar to OP where I'm just like, yeah, unless I've heard about this dog biting someone before, and it's a family member's dog, I would assume... that they are going to take care and control their dog. And then when they don't do that, you're like.

1:13:07 What the heck? Why do you even have a dog?

1:13:10 Yeah, it's been happening. There's a history of it. If it's happened twice now.

1:13:14 Yeah, it's like, I'm not, you're not allowed anywhere near my daughter.

1:13:17 Or more than that. Yeah, you're not seeing us for a while.

1:13:20 Yeah.

1:13:20 Let's go ahead and finish this up. On top of that, we learned that the vacation was canceled because the in-laws didn't know how the brother-in-law will feel. I told them we already bought our plane tickets, so we're going no matter what. If they show up, Great. If not, they can stay at home and pay our medical bills and watch us have a vacation. Please note, I'm not implying that the vacation was the most important thing. I just want to add context on how the parents seem to care more about their daughter's feelings than the health of their granddaughter.

1:13:48 Yeah, they don't care about, they've made it very clear that they do not care about Ava's health.

1:13:53 They went, are you recording this?

1:13:55 Yeah, are you recording?

1:13:56 No, we're not going to tell you about the dog that might have rabies.

1:13:59 Obi continued saying, I'm going low or no contact with this family. Our entire family has been traumatized. I have lost sleep. I can't concentrate at work or on any of my college work, and I spent my days in tears over this. When my husband comes home, I'm going to see about taking Ava back to the ER to get the vaccination shot for rabies. We can't even get information from them, so we can't trust it. They can pay another $ 3, 000 of bills while we enjoy our little family vacation without them for Ava's birthday in September. And that's the end of that story.

1:14:30 Yeah.

1:14:30 So true.

1:14:31 You get to be like, hey, if you don't tell us if your dog has freaking rabies, then enjoy another bill for the rabies shot we had to get.

1:14:38 We're not going to sue you, but you're still paying the bills. Yeah. I would get it in writing.

1:14:42 Yeah. Get it in writing. Don't, don't.

1:14:45 Be just like, oh, we take their word for it.

1:14:47 I assume there's some sort of legal process going on right now.

1:14:49 There has to be, but come on. With them can't even- Because they filed a report. They can't even give you the information about the dog?

1:14:55 Yeah, that's ridiculous.

1:14:57 That is the end of that story. And we have another one coming right up.

1:15:01 Hey, it's Carly, Keon's girlfriend, here.

1:15:03 We're going to get back to the stories, but here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

1:15:08 My husband implied our son isn't his because the boy.

1:15:12 Grew taller than him.

1:15:13 Your husband's an idiot.

1:15:14 My husband and I have a 17-year-old son, Jake. Jake is about 6'4. My husband is around 5'10, and I'm 5'10, as well. My husband's family are all average height, while my family is a lot taller. I'm actually the shortest of three sisters and a brother. But like most sane people, I don't care about height. I assume my husband didn't either, seeing that he married me and would defend me every time one of his buddies tried making a rude joke.

1:15:41 How are they making you rude? The fact that you're just tall?

1:15:43 Yeah, probably like, oh, your wife's tall.

1:15:45 How's the weather up there?

1:15:47 But ever since our son surpassed our height when he was 15, my husband has been making a few very off comments. Basically just things like, he's too tall.

1:15:57 Is he even mine?

1:15:59 And then you go, well, well, yes, because that's how genetics works sometimes.

1:16:04 You go, are you stupid?

1:16:07 Are you dumb?

1:16:08 You know, comments that make it seem like I cheated on him. Jake also has more of my features, so yeah. I never thought much about his comments because he still treated our son like our other kids and would only say it once every year or so. Also, my mom has a terminal illness, so I was a bit distracted.

1:16:25 Wait, he says it once a year? Or so.

1:16:28 Yeah, every birthday of their sons, he's like, I don't know, he's getting taller.

1:16:33 Happy birthday, maybe my son.

1:16:35 He's getting a little taller. I don't know.

1:16:39 By the way, this comes from throwaway46539, and if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash okay story time subreddit.

1:16:45 I'm Sophia.

1:16:46 I'm Keon.

1:16:47 And we're here to give.

1:16:48 Good advice goofily, but we don't have all the answers, so if you've got answers... Put them down below.

1:16:53 Let us know how tall you are.

1:16:54 Let us know how tall you are in the comments down below.

1:16:56 I want three things. I want three things. Your parents' height, well, your mother's height, your father's height, and then your height.

1:17:01 I'm shorter than all of my family.

1:17:04 I'm the tallest one in my family.

1:17:05 Oh, wow.

1:17:06 Sam's the tallest one in ours.

1:17:08 Anyway, my husband and I were picking my brother up from the hospital, and I don't know why, but my husband thought it would be a great idea to start complaining about our son. He said the usual, he's nothing like me. He's not smart. He's too tall. He likes the sports I dislike. That Asta means something, right?

1:17:26 Damn, why are you just roasting your son?

1:17:30 Going back to it again, your husband is really dumb.

1:17:34 Wait, I was honestly so over it and asked him if he was an idiot.

1:17:39 That's what you said.

1:17:41 I'm on the same way.

1:17:42 Is he an idiot?

1:17:42 If my partner asked me or told me this, he doesn't like what I like. He's taller than me.

1:17:50 Kiana gets worse.

1:17:51 Oh, good.

1:17:51 I'm already crashing out.

1:17:53 He's a biology teacher, for goodness sake.

1:17:57 Take that away from him.

1:17:57 Take it away.

1:17:58 What is he teaching? Take that away from him.

1:18:00 Yeah, I'm going into his class. I'm saying, hey, students, can you teach your biology teacher how to freaking use a Punnett square?

1:18:07 I guarantee you he'd did what i did asking the commenters like everyone in the class where i need to test a hypothesis yeah if my son is.

1:18:16 Really tall does that mean he's my son.

1:18:19 Hypothetically or okay everyone here i need your mother's height your father's height and then your height and then if any of you are taller than them i need dna.

1:18:27 Test op continues does he not know how genetics work apparently not I said all that and told him that if he was so concerned that he can get a paternity test, but that I'm done with him. My brother heard all of this and told my husband to quit acting like a knucklehead. And that was it until we dropped my brother off. Then he started yelling at me, saying I didn't have to say all of that in front of my brother and that I am him. And then you turn to him and say, you implied that I cheated on you in front of him.

1:18:55 What's more embarrassing is that he heard you say that stuff to me because your son's taller than you.

1:19:02 Yeah, come on.

1:19:03 And has different interests than you. Yeah.

1:19:06 He said that he already doesn't like being around my brother because he's 6'6.

1:19:09 It's a height thing. It's a height thing.

1:19:12 Also, yes.

1:19:14 Hmm.

1:19:15 I wonder where your son could have got his height gene from.

1:19:20 Your husband's 5'10. And he's acting like such a little man.

1:19:24 He's acting like a little baby man, little one-inch man. And then I just made him feel worse. I called him crazy for being intimidated by and jealous of my brother.

1:19:35 And his son.

1:19:36 And also said he did this to himself and he needs to stop talking about our son like that. He just said that he's venting to me, his wife, and that it's not like he's doing anything to our son. He claims I'm overreacting and being a drama queen.

1:19:49 I'm breaking up with you for one, how stupid you are, but also how immature you are, too.

1:19:54 Yeah, you could have, you know, a paternity test, but you can also have some divorce papers. I just said, says you, but he insists I'm the a-hole, and after dropping me home, he left and still hasn't come back.

1:20:07 Good riddance.

1:20:09 Yeah.

1:20:09 My mother said that he's being crazy, but that I didn't have to say anything in front of my brother, and that I did overdo it a bit. My sister agrees as well, and they think I should apologize for that.

1:20:20 Am I the a-hole?

1:20:22 And we do have an update.

1:20:24 What do you think? Should OP apologize?

1:20:26 Why would I apologize to someone with such idiotic questions? No.

1:20:29 Yeah, no.

1:20:30 Absolutely not.

1:20:31 I would go to him and say, hey, what's the real reason? Are you actually accusing me of cheating or are you just insecure?

1:20:39 Or both. Or both.

1:20:41 And let's be real. It's both.

1:20:43 It's both. Update.

1:20:46 I was honestly just in a really bad mood for a long time after I made the post. My husband still wasn't messaging me back. and my kids were starting to notice that something was off. I ended up telling them that their dad had an emergency, but they didn't really buy it.

1:21:01 Teenagers!

1:21:02 Anyway, I texted my husband one last time, saying that if he didn't answer by the morning, then I'm done. I'm exhausted and refuse to deal with his nonsense anymore. I told him that he can expect divorce papers soon if he plans on ignoring me. Guess who replied in the morning? He asked me if I was being serious.

1:21:22 And I said that I was. I also told him that he can do a paternity test, but that he can tell our son why. Honestly, good on you, OP. Throw that all in his face.

1:21:32 Yeah, sure, you embarrassed him in front of your brother, but it's embarrassing to get that from your partner of asking you every year. I also, I'm pretty sure your son's catching on eventually.

1:21:45 Oh, yeah.

1:21:46 He probably gets that his dad doesn't like him. Thinks he's stupid. thinks that he is disappointed that they don't have the same interests.

1:21:55 That's on you.

1:21:56 Yeah.

1:21:57 What?

1:21:58 He started crying after calling me a drama queen. Said that he's just insecure because his friends put ideas in his head.

1:22:03 I don't freaking care.

1:22:05 I don't, even worse.

1:22:06 I'm sorry, your friends who have always made fun of my height? Get rid of them.

1:22:09 Also, you're calling me a drama queen and then crying immediately?

1:22:13 Is insane.

1:22:15 When I asked him why he has more faith in them than me, he didn't answer. I told them to get some therapy because I can't and refuse to be with someone who is jealous of their own child. I told them to imagine how our son would feel if he knew just how much he resents him. My husband interrupted, saying that he doesn't hate him. And I told them to prove it then. Hate and resent, different. And he didn't say no to resent. He was quiet for a while, but said he'd see a therapist. This was such a relief, I almost cried. We both agreed that he'd stay with his sister where he's been this whole time until.

1:22:52 His first session.

1:22:53 I told their children that their father isn't mentally well right now, but that they can visit him anytime. Our son was very worried and called them immediately. My husband called me later saying he feels so guilty, especially after their phone call, and I just said, good! Honestly, I still don't know how this will end. I want to believe in my husband, but I'm finding it so hard.

1:23:16 I don't know how you wouldn't just get the immediate ick.

1:23:20 Yeah, I'd be like, eh.

1:23:21 You think?

1:23:22 You think I cheated on you?

1:23:23 You think I cheated on you because our son is taller than us?

1:23:26 Yeah, ick because you don't trust me and ick because you're dumb.

1:23:30 Double the ick.

1:23:31 My son does feel like his dad and him aren't very close, but he isn't aware of any of my husband's thoughts. And I hope he never becomes aware.

1:23:41 You have kids. You guys have been a family unit for a while, but yeah. This is just so dumb.

1:23:48 Yeah, he's so.

1:23:49 Like, clearly, I'm glad he's getting therapy because this is just.

1:23:54 Something is not right in his brain.

1:23:56 No, but, like, one, I would tell him to cut off or, like, go very low contact with his friends.

1:24:02 Yeah. They're not good influences.

1:24:05 Because, one, your husband's dumb enough to believe them.

1:24:08 Yeah.

1:24:08 They also are really dumb, too.

1:24:10 Dumb enough to say that stuff. There's a bit more... On another note, my brother called me saying he talked to my husband a few days ago and said that he gave my husband a real reason to be scared.

1:24:21 And intimidated by him.

1:24:23 My sister also came to her senses after my brother made fun of her. Gotta love older brothers, right? My mom still thinks I should apologize for the kid's sake. I mean, so long as she isn't butting in, she's entitled to her own opinion. And that's the end of the story, folks.

1:24:38 Nah.

1:24:39 I have no reason to apologize.

1:24:40 Nah.

1:24:41 Why am I apologizing for saying the truth?

1:24:43 He dumb. He dumb.

1:24:44 He can figure it out and maybe go back to school.

1:24:47 Mom, he thought I cheated on him because our son is taller than him and they don't have the same interest.

1:24:54 Yeah.

1:24:54 No.

1:24:55 No.

1:24:55 That's the end of the story, though, and the end of the episode.