My girlfriend is too EMBARRASSED to meet my family... because she can't speak! -r/BestofRedditorUpdates | Reddit Stories | EP3133

0:00 Hey, this is Angie. And this is Keon, your favorite OK Storytime host, and we've got great stories coming right up.

0:05 But before that, we have a quick two-minute break from the sponsors that keep this show alive.

0:11 My girlfriend is too embarrassed to meet my family because she can't speak.

0:16 Well, actions speak louder than words.

0:18 My 24-male wonderful girlfriend, 21 female of almost one year now, was born with malformed vocal cords. Despite an attempt at surgery, she is unable to speak. I've never given a crap about that. I learned sign language and even though it has been tough, I'm able to communicate with her. She can hear and comprehend English perfectly. She always had self-esteem issues because of that. She is incredibly attractive and guys approached her all the time but turned away when they learned about her disability. We've been in an awesome relationship for a year now. I'm her first everything. I've enjoyed every moment with her and we're even considering moving in together.

0:56 Everything. Really? Everything?

0:59 Everything.

1:00 By the way, this comes from you slash mute boyfriend. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to r slash okay story time.

1:07 I'm Mike.

1:08 I'm Keon.

1:09 I'm Riley.

1:10 And today we're going to give advice for you guys, but we don't have all the answers. If you guys have advice for us, sound off in the comments, please. But as OP says, anyway, my sister's wedding is coming up.

1:24 I need a date.

1:25 I obviously cannot take anybody else but my girlfriend, but she's too scared of being rejected.

1:30 By my family.

1:31 Now, we've discussed about marriage and a future together, and naturally, it's time she met my family. Anything I can do to change her mind slash help her. I don't want to force this on her, but eventually she'll have to meet my folks.

1:42 Edit.

1:43 So apparently my ex will also be there at the wedding.

1:48 Hello. And she is single. Relevant comments. This is from deleted.

1:52 You need to introduce your girlfriend to your family beforehand in a small and unpressured environment.

1:58 That is true. Wedding. Crazy.

2:00 For the first time.

2:00 For the first time. Kind of crazy. Intense.

2:03 Very intense. Because you're not just meeting the family.

2:05 Yeah.

2:05 You meet everybody else at the wedding, too.

2:07 That is straight to the professional leagues, too, of, like, social events.

2:13 Dude, wild.

2:14 This large family gathering is obviously too large for a first meeting, obviously.

2:18 Cool. Glad you agree.

2:19 And too much for her to deal with. Progress slowly, my friend. Don't push her if she's not comfortable. OP says, we land the morning of the wedding.

2:28 Smart.

2:28 I absolutely do not want to push her. I totally get what a terrible social situation that this all can become. However, I do have limited options. If it's too big an event for her and too much all at once, it's all right with me.

2:41 Great.

2:42 Is it all right with her?

2:44 I just don't want her to feel bad about not meeting my family.

2:47 That's all.

2:48 Brother, if you are seeing your family, and this is the only time you can see your family.

3:18 Do a FaceTime call or a Skype call. Something. Something just to break the ice.

3:25 A point of contact.

3:26 A thousand percent. Something.

3:27 And you don't want to take away your parents. Like, this is a big event for your sister. She's getting married. You don't want to take away from that. All right, this is my girlfriend. Two minutes talk. That was great, right?

3:38 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

3:39 No, you don't want to do that. That's stupid.

3:42 Oh, gosh, and it has to be over Skype because she can't talk.

3:46 Oh, yeah.

3:47 So even if you had it on phone call.

3:52 Dude, I totally forgot about that, too. That's nuts.

3:54 How have you not introduced your partner that you are about to move in together with to your family that you've been dating for a year?

4:00 Yes.

4:01 For a year.

4:02 Yeah. Well, honestly, he seems ashamed by her.

4:06 Yeah. I have no other options.

4:08 My ex is going to be there. She's single.

4:10 This stupid wedding that's coming up. I guess that's the perfect time to do it.

4:14 You got real Einstein over here. Opie continues.

4:16 But something like that can get very uncomfortable very soon because there's only audio and video.

4:22 Oh, my God. You know what there is when you do it in person?

4:25 It's season hearing.

4:26 Holy crap.

4:28 That's so true, dude. Oh, wow.

4:30 You got me there, Opie.

4:33 She's going to have the glasses that just has like the text like on it.

4:37 Oh, that'd be so funny.

4:38 So when you take the audio portion out of it, it feels weird. When you've met someone, you can walk around and stuff. I'm speaking purely on the basis of what happened around three months ago with a childhood buddy of mine. She had reason to butt out in that conversation because she wasn't the topic of conversation. Just came into the view and he said hi and she waved back.

4:58 That was it. So we got an update eight days later, fellas.

5:03 So with all the people screaming Skype, Skype, Skype, I thought it'll be the right thing to do.

5:09 I hooked up a Skype call with my sister. You thought it would be the right thing to do?

5:12 No, no, no, no, no, mister. You thought going to the wedding... For the first time in introducing your girlfriend who can't speak.

5:18 Yeah, this is like.

5:19 It's the right thing to do.

5:20 This is like a master class on backpedaling right now.

5:25 How to dig yourself out of the hole 101.

5:26 So he set up a Skype with my sister, her fiance, and my dad. Mom wasn't going to be there. My sister was nervous, but this was better than meeting them all at once face to face. Turns out, it was a pretty cool idea after all. Everything flowed smoothly. My sister and my girlfriend have quite a bit in common, so they have talked for a while. When their conversation stalled out, I had a chat with her fiancé. He seemed like a pretty nice guy. Had a long chat with dad. You people have no idea how much this entire exercise benefited from my dad's presence. My dad's the kind of guy who always has the right words for any and every situation. He respectfully complimented my girlfriend on her looks and told me how lucky I am. This

6:08 line had her grinning from ear to ear.

6:27 Mm-hmm.

6:28 So I'm going stag to my sister's wedding.

6:30 Oh, no.

6:31 But at least she got to know a part of my family. So we got some, I mean, yeah, we pretty much.

6:37 I have more questions than answers, honestly.

6:39 Yeah.

6:40 One, why is your ex invited to this wedding? Two.

6:43 Dude.

6:44 Two.

6:44 Yeah.

6:45 You said your girlfriend talked to your family.

6:48 Yeah.

6:49 How did she communicate? Because it was through Skype.

6:51 Skype.

6:53 Yeah. She was probably on the keyboard, like, the whole time. Good point, good point.

6:58 Because he hasn't mentioned ASL whatsoever in this.

7:00 Yeah, he didn't mention, like, oh, my sister and her, like, they know sign. It was just like, that was it. I don't know.

7:08 I don't know. It is kind of crazy.

7:10 I'm more interested in just, like, he's going to talk to the ex at the wedding.

7:15 You know what I mean? Like, he's going stag.

7:18 Oh.

7:18 The ex is there?

7:19 He's brought up his ex more than his girlfriend.

7:21 Single?

7:21 Do you think he's strategic?

7:22 Dude, I think this might be some plots going on right now. I hope not. This freaking guy. I don't know, man.

7:29 Yeah, I don't know.

7:30 I'm kind of, I'm on your side.

7:32 Yeah, I don't know. I'm on your side.

7:33 Let's put up one of these guys.

7:35 Oh, let me see.

7:36 Conspiracy theory, baby. Dude, I really hope that's not going to be the case. But we have an update. Well, this is some comments that was like the final comments for OP.

7:48 Got it, got it, got it.

7:49 So make sure to contact your girlfriend often throughout the time you'll be there. She's uncomfortable with your ex being there. And while it's not necessary because you're not going to do anything wrong, it's still a nice gesture to never lose contact if you can't help it.

8:04 Right, OP? You're not going to do anything wrong.

8:06 Right?

8:07 Well, OP says, yeah, definitely. I'll keep texting her. On general principle, I'll just avoid my ex. Another commenter says, CC Wakanamaru, do you and your girlfriend have any plans to meet your family soon after.

8:22 Your sister's wedding? Good question. Oh, good question.

8:25 OP responds, my sister and her fiance are going to fly out sometime.

8:29 Parents will have to wait. That's it. That's the story.

8:34 My fiancé confessed she slept with another man, so I ended our engagement. That's terrible. I, male 25, don't know where to begin. I haven't slept, eaten, or left the apartment for the last week. I feel like my fiancé, female 25, has passed away. My fiancé and I have been together for four years. We met in university and fell in love. She's the most incredible and bravest woman I know. I want to build statues of her and tell the world how amazing and how gorgeous she is and all she has done for me in supporting me to become who I am today in self-career and happiness.

9:11 She has been plagued by chronic illness and through tears gets herself up and into the gym, classroom, work, etc.

9:18 I love her.

9:19 So five months ago, I proposed to her. she was so happy and said about time we've been living in the same city where we started and finished our degrees but had been planning to move back to her parents and the coast where they live seven hours away to start the next chapter of our lives a month ago she got the opportunity to transfer her job to where her parents live so we immediately packed up her and sent her there You really should have put things there because it sounds like you shoved your wife into a box.

9:49 We expedited ship it. We shipped her. We expedited shipped her.

9:52 Don't worry.

9:53 It was overnight. They put her in the cargo plane. I, on the other hand, was still going through interviews for jobs down that way and was having success and by the way i have to let you know this comes from users slam 24 if you want to submit your own stories go to the r slash okay story and i'm subreddit i'm dakota I'm Mike. And we are here to read the story and give our thoughts and our good little advices, but we don't have all the answers.

10:16 No one does. OP says, I finally landed a job two weeks ago, but they wouldn't require me for another month. I also have to stay and finish an in-person course I enrolled in that finishes in three weeks, and our lease on the apartment ends at that time as well. Thankfully, we've done long distance before in university over summers when I stayed and worked part-time while she spent time with family.

10:37 A month ago.

10:38 Something changed dramatically. Her libido went up and she wanted to be intimate every night. She started to criticize my lack of ability to keep up and claimed I didn't desire her enough. The pressure accumulated and my own drive decreased. We talked about it as we always had. We've always been an incredible team and my favorite trait is her honesty.

11:01 She tells me everything as it is and I don't like this trait anymore as you will see. We've always been equal in effort, but I decided to start doing more. I wrote her poetry. I made art for her. I took her running and did more chores than she did. I wanted to help her know I love her. She started to say, oh, now you feel like a roommate or my best friend. So I made her romantic dinners and tried to initiate intimacy. But then, now it feels forced.

11:27 She then had to leave for the coast and she left in tears saying she'd miss me. I don't know, that's okay.

11:34 All right. Yeah, what is a romantic dinner?

11:38 What's the difference between that and just a regular dinner?

11:42 I don't know. It's like, I'm also going to bang.

11:45 That's the only thing, right?

11:47 There's candles and roses.

11:49 And there's a bath that's getting drawn.

11:53 Yeah.

11:54 Slowly, that'll be ready in an hour.

11:56 Two days after she arrived at her parents, I tried calling her for an evening FaceTime or digital date. She replied in text, I'm really happy to be here. And for the first time, I don't even miss you. I'm sorry. I don't want to talk tonight. I was hurt and probed more.

12:11 Yeah.

12:12 I'd be like, what?

12:13 What?

12:15 Yeah, that is like recipe 101 for just like to ruin your relationship.

12:20 It's like, hey. You know, like the one thing that we have to do is communicate. I don't want to do that anymore. Yeah, I know, dude.

12:25 I don't even remember how I was crying when I left and I said, I miss you.

12:29 I'm into this.

12:29 I actually, funny story.

12:32 Yeah, about that.

12:33 I don't care about you at all anymore.

12:35 So, no, I don't know.

12:37 Try again tomorrow.

12:38 Yeah, better luck next time, I guess.

12:40 She pushed me away, and so I left it for the day. A few days later, she tells me that she has reconnected with an old high school male friend. I play it cool and say, with cheek, I'm jealous of any time he gets with you. A few days pass again with her showing zero signs of interest in me. Finally, she sends a barrage of texts. I don't feel like I love you anymore. I feel so happy and free now, and I'm laughing so much with male friend.

13:05 I panic.

13:05 She tells me she can't help the way she feels, and I should focus on my own life for now, and that she won't leave me. A night ago, she does it. What do you mean?

13:11 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

13:12 Hold on a minute.

13:13 She's like, I don't love you, and I feel free, and I have this new guy who makes me laugh all the time, and you should be able to focus on yourself. And also, don't worry. I'm not going to leave.

13:22 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

13:23 Just like the one thing that's ready to end the relationship right there. Yeah, just don't worry about it. Everything's going to be fine.

13:29 You'll be fine.

13:30 Like, if you have the delusional prowess to go, okay.

13:33 Ha, ha, ha, ha.

13:34 I'm like, okay, we're okay.

13:36 Yeah.

13:37 More power to you, buddy.

13:38 Just zero awareness at all. It's crazy.

13:40 A night ago, she does it again. She says, I just feel so worked up all the time, and I love the way male friend looks at me. It's like an evil voice, and I'm so sorry it's happening. I never wanted this, but you didn't show me the desire I'm getting now. I want to be with him, and with other guys at my new job. But I can't because I'm with you, and now my evil voice in my head is telling me you're a burden. I do all I can to understand her and work on it.

14:04 You're just becoming annoying now. Please give me space. I'm in so much pain, I shake all the time, I can't eat and I can't sleep, I can't leave the apartment, and I have shifts lined up for the next two weeks, and a final in-person exam, and I cannot do anything about it. I'm stuck seven hours away, and nothing my fiancé says makes sense.

14:20 Go- I mean this in the nicest possible way.

14:23 That woman is not your fiance anymore, and there's no universe in which you should not realize that right now.

14:31 Yeah, this relationship is like saying that ghosts are real or not. There's no physical evidence that they're together anymore.

14:41 Your body is shaking.

14:42 You can't eat because you're fundamentally rejecting reality.

14:46 His body, yeah. He's literally going into psychosis right now.

14:49 You're just like, oh, this is fine.

14:51 What is real? I don't know what's real anymore.

14:54 I still have a fiance. I still have a fiance. Meanwhile, his body is just like.

15:00 Yeah, yeah. He's like six cents. He's like six cents this whole thing with like a fiance. Yeah. The whole time. Man.

15:08 When she talks to me, it's like she's a whole different person. I love this woman so much. We've planned a whole life together and we're going to get married in a few years and have kids. I've spoken to her twin sister and she too does not recognize her. And she's so angry at her for what she's doing.

15:25 What is happening? One thing I feel I should know, but I feel ashamed and disturbed to suggest it. A few days after we got engaged, she stopped taking her pill because of migraines it was causing her, and she wanted to try feeling normal. She has been on different types of birth control. I've heard horror stories relating to hormonal changes like this. Please don't be true. Well, there's an update. It's been a month now and we broke up.

15:48 She slept with her male best friend three days later and called me.

15:50 No.

15:52 No way.

15:52 Oh my God, she did?

15:54 Oh, yeah. I don't know why I was surprised at that. She did?

15:58 I was like, no.

15:59 She did the thing she told you she was going to do?

16:01 Wait, she was spending all this time with him? She slept with him? Why did I feel so surprised?

16:06 She called me to tell me about it because she felt guilty. Yet, while also mentioning how good it was and that she hasn't felt like that in a long time. By the way, if this happened to you, go listen to full episodes of Stories Just Like This on iHeartRadio. Just search OK Storytime wherever you listen to podcasts.

16:22 And it's there.

16:23 Also, if this happened to you, I'm so sorry.

16:26 That's rough, dude.

16:27 At least you have the solace knowing her twin sister is also like, yeah, no, whatever she's doing is so out of pocket. I don't know what's going on.

16:36 Yeah, but then at that point, date the twin sister. What are you going to do? Do you imagine her twin sister cheated on him too? Well, we're twins. What did you expect?

16:46 Twin sister starts dating him and she's like, I got to tell you something.

16:49 Yeah.

16:50 It's like she actually had a fiance.

16:52 The whole time. He's the one that she's cheating.

16:55 Now you're the affair partner. I texted her a long essay of all the red flags I've missed and why I feel like I've been walked all over. I told her to never talk to me again. She exploded and said, I did nothing wrong. So yeah, she's lost it. It turns out her parents and her twin are on my side. Her parents said it's like she's in a late teenage rebellion phase. I asked them to monitor it in case it worsens. Do I feel like I passed away?

17:21 Yes.

17:22 Do I regret it? really i loved our relationship but she's not the same person and those little red flags throughout its entirety tell me she was never mature to begin with i deserve better thank you everyone for your advice you're all spot on and that is the end of that story.

17:39 My girlfriend begged me to stop working out with my ex i think she's unreasonable how.

17:43 About three sets of cheating huh.

17:45 My girlfriend Mia, 21 female, and I, 25 male, have been dating for a couple of months, and we're in a long-distance relationship. While we were still getting to know each other, we asked each other about past relationships, so I told her about my first and the only girlfriend I had before her, Jess, 26 female. Jess and I dated on and off from ages 12 to 15. She often broke up with me, blocked me, and we got back together. When we weren't dating, we were just friends with benefits. Even after we ended things for good, She remained my best friend despite not treating me well even after.

18:14 I asked Mia if she was jealous because she seemed more quiet than usual. And she said she doesn't know Jess well to be jealous and only had that reaction based on what I said.

18:22 Yeah, so would I.

18:24 She said Jess doesn't sound like a nice friend or was a nice girlfriend to me. I told her that she just doesn't know her like I do and that she doesn't have to worry about anything.

18:33 Babe, you just don't get it, dude.

18:35 Don't worry about her.

18:37 Dude. Oh my gosh. I'm getting like, I'm getting like nom flashbacks.

18:43 I'm glad I'm shell shocked and just terrible relationships.

18:46 Yeah. Fortunate sons playing in the background.

18:52 When Mia bought her ticket, I excitedly told all my friends because I wanted them all to meet her. Jess said she was excited to meet Mia and suggested we all could show her around town. This made Mia really upset because she said the way I described it made her feel like Jess and I were the we and she'd be the third wheel. I apologized and that was that.

19:11 By the way, this comes from user EqualVisual7676. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit. I'm Keon.

19:19 I'm Mike.

19:20 I'm Riley. And Mike's my good comedy friend. And Keon's my awesome producer.

19:24 Aw, thanks, Riley. And Riley's just my guy. Obviously, us three don't know everything, especially with these comments. So let us know what you do down below as we're going to keep going into the story and just, man. This is not looking good.

19:38 No, absolutely not.

19:40 As OP says, a few weeks later, Jess spontaneously asked me to work out. Afterward, we agreed to make it a weekly thing. When I told my girlfriend, she said it made her uncomfortable. i told her that we're just working out and holding each other accountable to do it every week mia asked what she's supposed to do or go when she comes visit and we're on our workout days I told Mia that she can just come with us and work out. Mia said that sounds like she's the third wheel again. She said it makes her feel like Jess and I are together and not the other way around. I reassured her that it's not like that and we're just working out.

20:13 Yeah, just workout buddies.

20:16 Nope. She then asked why Jess's fiance didn't work out with her. I texted Jess and she said it was because of his work. Mia then asked if Jess would be okay with her joining. I asked and Jess said she wasn't comfortable with another woman being there.

20:28 No. Really? Oh my god, dude. These guys are terrible for each other. This is insane.

20:36 I told my girlfriend it wasn't a big deal. Maybe Jess was just a little self-conscious. My girlfriend then told me that when she wanted to go to a concert with a guy friend or go watch a movie, I told her I don't trust her friend and she respected my wishes and she didn't go. I told her it was different because I knew what guys were like. Dude.

20:53 Dude.

20:54 Airplane coming in.

20:56 Airplane coming in here. I'm waving two red flags. You suck.

21:01 What is happening?

21:02 You suck. No way this is real.

21:05 Dude.

21:05 This is the type of guy that says, let's open up the relationship, but I can only sleep with her.

21:09 Yeah, only I can be banging everybody, dude.

21:12 I told my girlfriend that I was just working out with my ex. I told her it feels like she's accusing me and Jess of doing something slim shady. Mia told me she wasn't judging me or Jess of doing anything. She simply just didn't know Jess yet and wasn't comfortable, same as me, not being comfortable with her guy friends.

21:27 She said to meet her in the middle and asked if I could wait until she met Jess and got to know her before doing any of these workouts. I told her that was unfair to Jess and that I think she just needs to accept the way things are. Mia cried and she hung up. She hasn't talked to me for days. Am I the a-hole? And there's a verdict.

21:42 And everyone here with a brain knows that, yeah.

21:47 Giant.

21:48 Giant chocolate starfish.

21:50 Massive. A-hole, dude.

21:52 It's hard because you always get the perspective of the partner. Like, oh, should I stick with them? And they're like, no, they're the A-hole.

22:00 Yeah, this one is you make it hard not to hate you.

22:05 Yeah.

22:05 We have an update. There's no other words. Anything else you guys had to say?

22:08 I have no other words. No, nothing. Update.

22:10 I told Jess about what happened when we went to work out three days ago. She didn't say much about it, only that I didn't listen or wasn't being understanding of what Mia felt, but nothing after that. She looked stressed or disappointed. So I asked her, what's up? She told me she'll tell me afterwards. When we got to the parking lot, she told me that we can't work out together anymore because her fiance found out and he was also uncomfortable about it. And they had a long talk about it. Good.

22:33 Yep.

22:34 At least someone's prioritizing their relationship.

22:36 I guarantee you Opie is like, all men are scummy.

22:38 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

22:39 He's like, what an idiot. Can't trust you. You should marry me instead. Jess said that she didn't get it at first, so she tried to explain that her friendship with me is different from any other friendships. And he told her that it's not only different, but it's dangerous. He said because we have history, that we dated, we were friends with benefits, and that we relied on each other for years before each finding our person, but we never had boundaries to just be friends. He said he knows that I'm a good person from me hanging out with them a couple of times, but he's felt territorial and uncomfortable sometimes. So he asked Jess how she would feel if her fiancé told her, Hey, I'm going to work out weekly with my ex. Don't worry, we're just

23:15 best friends now. See you later. He said Jess would obviously be uncomfortable, and that's how Mia probably feels. He said it's not fair that he should have to make a boundary between them now, and he assumes Mia has to make a boundary about this to me. He said this boundary should have been already implied, because you love and respect your person, to not wait around until they get hurt to do something about it. Jess said she realized he was right. She's hurt that she hurt him and that she was being ignorant. And the light's still not turning on for OP. He's like, I still don't get it.

23:44 This is a light bulb that's just unscrewed and pretending to be in place. Yeah. And OP is just clicking the thing. What's going on up there?

23:55 It's not working. If I keep pulling on it, will it work? And Jess continued saying she would be uncomfortable if her fiance went working out with his ex. And she said it's the first time she thought about being jealous. So we stopped working out and she stopped reaching out or texting me much after that. Mia and I made up.

24:11 I apologized for being an a-hole. I told her what Jess and her fiance said. Mia said she's mind blown that Jess's fiance got it right, but is still hurt by what happened. I promise to make up for it and that I already have some dates planned and reserved for when she visits and I'm paying for everything. I know I need to keep showing her through my actions that I meant my apology. She's coming in three weeks and we're both really excited. Dude, you're an idiot.

24:33 This guy is a grade A dummy, dude. The fact that they're just like, yo, listen, I'm hanging out with my ex. Yeah, we've hooked up for like, Yeah, about like 10 years now.

24:49 We have a history.

24:51 On and off again.

24:52 On and off again. Like 10 years.

24:56 She's like a sister to me.

24:58 And we're in Alabama right now. Yeah. We are in.

25:01 Anywhere else, we just say step.

25:04 Yeah.

25:05 There's a little bit left here. Let's go ahead and finish it up. Relevant comments. 78 October says, I don't think I could continue a relationship with someone who had rules for me. No concerts with guy friends and not for himself going to the gym with an ex while also diminishing my feelings and needing a third party to explain to him. If Jess's boyfriend hadn't had a problem with it and just wanted to continue working out, then you would have ignored your girlfriend's feelings. She should take all that into account before continuing to date you. If she sticks it out with you, then take the effort to listen to her and not only care about her feelings when other people explain it to you. Opie responds,

25:39 and I love this, it's heavily downvoted, saying, I grew up with divorced parents, but they remained friends afterwards. My dad and stepmom broke up also, but remained friends. My mom and her boyfriends broke up, but they remained friends too. So being friends with an ex isn't abnormal or weird for me. Me and I have talked about this, and we have the same beliefs that exes can be friends. So, when she felt a certain way, I thought she was thinking I'm cheating on her, even though I'm not. I trusted Mia would be okay with this. I think what bothered or changed me about what happened was that I thought just his fiancé knew. So in my mind, I was thinking, Look at this guy. That's older than all of us and probably knows what a healthy relationship is.

26:21 That's why she chose him and they're getting married. Maybe he knows that this is okay too and he trusts Jess and we're not doing anything wrong. And maybe Mia's just very young. She's the youngest out of all of us and maybe she just needs to learn that this is a-okay. But when Jess's fiance didn't even know and finding out he was uncomfortable... I realized that Mia had also a legit feeling. So I acknowledge my mistakes, and I'm making it up to her now. Another comment here from Extended Spike Protein, cool name, saying, That's the problem.

26:50 You should have realized her feelings were legit without a third party. And, You're a hypocrite. OP replying with, again, still downvoted. How could I have realized that without knowing what I know now? Was I supposed to be an expert in my relationship with my girlfriend before we got together? Nia does not deserve you. Nobody deserves you.

27:09 No.

27:09 This is, I mean, like, talk about a guy. This guy needs to get cheated on.

27:15 You know what I mean? Like, he really does.

27:18 Because, like, this is insane to just be like, Yeah, I have no problems with just hanging out. Yeah, we bang every now and then, but that's neither here nor there.

27:29 How dumb do you have to be?

27:31 I like controlling my girlfriend, her friendships. But when she tries to do it with me, she just doesn't get it.

27:37 God, it's just like every time she speaks, I just like tune out. Only when she speaks, though, and shares her opinion.

27:42 Yeah, when she's feeling something that I don't agree with, she's wrong. It doesn't make any sense. That is the end of that story. And wow, oh, wow, Opie, you suck. Hey, Keon here. We're going to get back to the stories, but here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

27:58 My husband's family are furious I won't let his sister visit our newborn.

28:04 It started a war.

28:05 Oh my god, you closed the straight?

28:07 Throughout my pregnancy, I haven't heard from one of his sisters once. No congratulations, no check-ins, that's fine. I'm okay with that. I have a huge support network, which I'm so grateful for. This sister is 23, and she has never been nice to me. She hasn't gotten a reason to dislike me, but she is very rude and bratty.

28:28 She messaged my partner saying she wants to visit the bump before it is born. She lives about two hours away, but visits the area fairly often. When she found out about my C-section date, she asked my partner if her and her BF could come over before they went on holiday for a week. This would mean coming over a day or two after my operation. My partner FaceTimed her two hours after she was born. She didn't say anything to me. She just said to my partner, are we going to shorten her name? In fact, her boyfriend, who I'm not close with, jumped in specifically to ask me how I was doing. By the way, this comes from you slash famous repeat 2501. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to r slash okay story

29:10 time subreddit.

29:10 I'm Mike.

29:11 I'm Dakota.

29:12 And today we're here to give good advice goofily, but we don't know all the answers. But yeah, if you guys have anything to say, sound off in the comments below. But other than that, as OP says, How can I handle the sister-in-law situation? I actually do not want her around my house for a few weeks, if I'm honest, or if so. I actually want her to be pulled up on her behavior. Just because she's blood does not give her instant access. She checked in later that day asking my partner, how her niece was. To put it into context, my partner's parents spent a lot of money on a jellycat B-toy for my baby, which this girl is obsessed with the brand. They had to hide it from her in case she saw it. This is what

29:52 I'm dealing with.

29:53 Wait, so you're saying if she would have seen the baby's gift, she would.

29:56 Have stolen it? From the jump, dude. This kid knows what's up.

29:59 There's situations a hundred times worse than this, and this girl is a neonatal nurse. So it's not like she doesn't know how to handle postpartum.

30:07 Mothers, right? Yeah, OP. Um, I don't know, dude.

30:12 This is this kind of Well, as a man, that should be telling you how a pregnancy should go or how you should handle your baby.

30:20 Exactly.

30:21 You know, you're coming from the source. Right.

30:23 We gave you the rib.

30:25 You did come from our rib. You did come from our McRib. I don't know, dude. Maybe just don't be petty.

30:33 I mean, I get that you don't mess with your sister, your in-laws, you know. But this stuff can kind of turn into... some, some real nasty stuff in the future. You know, we could be real, we could be real petty at times.

30:50 I mean, literally you have the perfect out of just being like, yeah, no, I don't know. I'm not ready to have any visitors. It's only like two days after I had major surgery and deliver my baby.

30:58 That is true.

30:59 Like you're going to have to wait a little longer.

31:01 That is true. You can have like a couple.

31:03 Yeah. Like you say, you have a couple of weeks, maybe like, like a two months or so to like really kind of let things, let things settle.

31:10 Well, we got an update.

31:12 So 11 days later, I'm now just over two weeks postpartum and she still hasn't contacted me personally to ask how I'm recovering. She has, however, asked my partner about meeting the baby. My partner initially told her she could visit next time, which he now admits he shouldn't have promised. When he recently said we were still in a bit of newborn bubble. She replied that my family and his parents had already met the baby, that he promised that she could come. The following day, she sent him another message saying she didn't understand why she wasn't being allowed to meet her niece. She said their mom had told her we apparently had some sort of issue with her, accused my partner of ignoring her, and said it wasn't

31:54 nice to be treated this way by her older brother. The mom he spoke to the day before to advise her that he was annoyed that the sister hadn't checked in on me and now expected to come over immediately. The mom phoned him back late at night to advise my partner his sister had just told him she was suffering from depression and that she hadn't told anyone. This is when my partner finally addressed the actual issue. He told her that although he promised she could visit and accepted he should have addressed it sooner, I'd been pregnant for nine months and she hadn't checked in on me.

32:23 He pointed out that when we FaceTimed her after the birth, even her boyfriend had to ask how I was. He specifically told her that I wasn't the one with an issue with her, he was, because he thought the way she treated me was out of order. He then told her he had more important things to worry about than keeping her happy because he had a newborn daughter to care for. He said she would meet the baby and have a relationship with her because she's her aunt, but that it would happen in his own time. He told her to stop making the situation about herself and to buck her ideas up. She responded with a huge message saying he was being spiteful and that her whole family thinks she's done nothing wrong. She said we're not letting

33:03 her be part of our daughter's life and asked how it's fair on our two-week-old baby to not let her see her.

33:09 Auntie at all.

33:10 I'd say, hey, stupid. Knock, knock.

33:12 Can you read?

33:12 Did you hear anything I said? Do you know? Do you understand words?

33:16 Hey, the conversation that we had just now, did you pick up on that?

33:21 Run that one back for me real quick.

33:23 Get a little VAR for you, all right?

33:25 She's going to be like, yeah, well, you told me that you hate me and that everyone thinks I'm stupid and that I'm never going to get to see my little niece again.

33:38 Cause you hate me.

33:40 But you didn't tell me that your boyfriend had to look up on me.

33:45 What is the deal with that?

33:47 She also denied that making an effort with me. She said she had asked my partner for updates about me during my pregnancy, had invited me to things I couldn't attend, had apparently messaged me when we first announced the pregnancy to congratulate me, and had contributed towards birthday and Christmas presents for me. We scrolled through previous correspondence and she only said, I want to see the bump before it is born. She finished by saying that if my partner was going to say things about her that weren't true and be so mean, she didn't want anything to do with him, but that our daughter was a different matter.

34:20 She has since phoned their mom crying again about the whole situation. The mom keeps trying to call my partner. This alone is darn annoying and pretty out of touch given we got bigger priorities.

34:31 Context.

34:33 The reason my family have been around is because I've just had a C-section and they've been helping to look after me and support us. We're not hosting a revolving door of people for social visits. I'm not saying she can never meet our daughter. Neither is my partner. We're literally two weeks into having our first baby. My issue is now that... What could have been is a simple, of course, let us know when you're ready. Has turned into arguments about fairness, comparisons with my family, presents she's bought, what she's entitled to as an aunt, involving their mom and saying it's somehow unfair on our newborn that she hasn't met her auntie yet. That is another relevant update.

35:08 Yeah, you know what?

35:09 I'm going to coin this.

35:10 I'm going to call this the British way of taking care of an easy problem.

35:15 Yes. Yes.

35:16 Don't do that way.

35:17 Listen, tensions are rising. Things are getting crazy.

35:21 I mean, there is a British bake-off going on right now.

35:27 The bake-off already happened. It was a nine-month bake-off.

35:29 In Opie's uterus. Thank you for saying that. Thank you for saying that.

35:34 And let me tell you, there's some heat going on between these guys right now.

35:39 There's a lot of heat in this kitchen.

35:41 There's a lot of heat in this kitchen.

35:42 Great time to mention that you had a problem with your sister would have been five months ago. Instead of just letting it ferment all the way up until you are two weeks post delivery. And then you're like, well, someone needed to say it. It's like, you should have just said it, dude.

36:02 Like, why?

36:02 Why?

36:03 Now it's like, now it's this and that and this.

36:08 And it's like, yeah, it's kind of your fault too.

36:11 Beating around the bush. Come on now.

36:14 Well, but absolutely wild that she went.

36:17 Yeah.

36:17 She doubled down.

36:18 Yeah. Yeah.

36:19 She doubled down and was like, well, remember I got you.

36:21 A Christmas present. Triple down on that, bro. That was insane.

36:25 Well, we have the last of this story we got to get to. So Reddit taking into account her side of the WhatsApp conversation too. Am I the a-hole for not wanting her to visit yet? Am I feeling so anxious now that our bubble has burst and I'm pretty shocked that somebody can have such a go at, slash demand to see a newborn two weeks in, one week.

36:46 Of which she was actually away for.

36:48 This afternoon, his mom left a sleep suit on the doorstep with a paper note addressing our child from her auntie. Not sure if it's his mom's doing or not.

36:58 That is the story.

37:00 Let's see, what did the note say? Dear sweet little baby niece, your parents... think I'm the devil, so they won't let me see you.

37:09 It has been a fortnight since I've last seen you.

37:12 It's been a fortnight since your birth. I fear your parents plan to keep me from you forever.

37:22 Your mum has believed I have become a witch, and in my witch's cauldron, I brew a potion that could get us together as a family.

37:33 Put on this sleep suit.

37:36 And my potions will make you love me forever.

37:41 I hope you get enough Jim Jammies at night. Thought I'd forget.

37:46 Remember, if Mommy and Daddy don't let you.

37:49 Eat Jammie Dodgers, you can always come over to Auntie's house.

37:54 I am just a hop, skip, and a jump away. Come down the old creek.

38:00 And that's the end of this story. We're going to go on to the next one.

38:04 I am jealous of my sister's relationship, and it's making me resent my boyfriend. Whoa, don't be jealous, old girl. I, 23 female, have been dating my boyfriend, Gerald, 22 male, for over a year now. And I'm realizing that we never really did anything during the relationship. Before lockdown, we'd go out to eat and watch anime at his place, but that's it.

38:25 And what's wrong with that?

38:26 Ain't nothing wrong.

38:28 Yeah, that sounds really fun.

38:30 Yeah, it sounds like a pretty good date.

38:33 Now that I look.

38:33 Back on it, we never really did anything special and he never did anything nice for me. Like we went out to the boardwalk for a date, I planned, but he wanted to spend it playing arcade games. When I suggested various rides we can go on, he chickened out and said that those kinds of attractions freak him out.

38:50 That's a legitimate concern, I feel. A lot of people have, you know, fear of like roller coasters and stuff.

38:57 I feel like that's normal.

38:58 Yeah. Kind of sounds like Opie's framing it as like, yeah, we just have nothing in common.

39:02 Yeah. And it's like, no, he's just, I don't know.

39:05 Like he, he likes to game. He likes to spend time with you. Like he's not being like mean.

39:09 I don't know.

39:11 Dates with him were just getting takeout and playing video games or watching him and his friends game.

39:16 Okay. Well.

39:16 No.

39:17 Yeah.

39:17 Do you want to, do you want to go back on? I think we started to backtrack over here.

39:21 Puddle and say uh yeah well that's not cool have you talked to him though about it have you been like hey can we do something else rather than this It doesn't have to be extreme like, oh, let's go to an amusement park or anything, but be like, oh, I want to go to a museum or have a picnic in the park or something.

39:36 Love picnics in a park. So fun.

39:38 Me too.

39:39 It's just like something to do, an activity, you know, even do like escape room or like some, I don't know, a dinner theater.

39:46 Yeah.

39:46 You know how to plan, huh? Oh my gosh, dude.

39:49 I do know how to plan. It's in my blood.

39:52 He has been faltering in other parts of his life lately. Lost his job, but shows no interest in applying for work. Does nothing but sleep or play video games, and he's gained like 50 pounds.

40:03 All right, so he's depressed.

40:05 This guy is suffering from depression.

40:07 Yeah, so this guy is depressed, and I don't think you need to take that out on him. I think you need to recognize that and be like, how can I help you?

40:16 You know, be a team.

40:17 Hey, buddy. Touch grass, okay?

40:20 And there you go.

40:21 Since we've been apart, I've grown to resent him for never taking the initiative. It feels like I never really had a relationship with him. That he's more of just a friend than a boyfriend. By the way, this comes from Throwaway Resentful. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash okay story time subreddit.

40:37 I'm Savannah.

40:38 And I'm Mike.

40:39 And we are here to talk about some stuff, get some advice, but we don't have all of your answers. We are only going to tell you what we would do. But you should let us know what you would do down.

40:46 In the comments.

40:48 As Opie says, Meanwhile, my sister, 19 female, and my best friend are dating incredible guys.

40:55 They're handsome, driven, and hardworking. They're proactive.

40:59 They take them out and do fun stuff like hiking or picnics or even do Zoom chats. But instead of video games and TV, they're playing games and even just chatting. My sister is even planning on moving overseas to be with her dude. I want the kind of relationship they're having, but my boyfriend doesn't seem to get the picture no matter how many times I've tried to talk to him.

41:19 And here I am stuck with this guy that I just can't feel anything more than resentment. I want him to push himself and show that he actually gives a frick about things, but instead he just sits on the couch with his eyes locked on the screen and I can't stand it anymore. How do I get over my resentment for my boyfriend? And if possible, How to rein in my jealousy? Sorry if it's a lot to ask.

41:42 And there's an update.

41:43 So first of all, I'm going to say do not compare.

41:47 You cannot compare relationships because every relationship is different. Like you may just see the good sides. You don't know what's happening in the background. You know, every relationship might look good on the outside, but then when you actually are in it, it could be a nightmare. So don't compare is my first advice here.

42:04 Yeah, also, too, it kind of sounds like to me, like, I'm not trying to be funny, but, like, it does sound like you do really, like, love this guy because, like, you're getting angry about it.

42:14 You know what I mean?

42:15 Yeah, it seems like you do care.

42:17 But at the same time, she's resentful and she doesn't really, like, I feel like you kind of just want to break up with him, which sometimes that's the push they need.

42:25 Yeah, that's all it is. That's all it takes.

42:27 It's like you could give them the ultimatum of saying, you know, if you're not going to.

42:32 Smear the games, babe.

42:33 Yeah, I'm going to play a game now. If you don't, like, wake up and smell the roses.

42:38 It's called how long is this relationship going to go for? How long is it going to last?

42:42 Yeah, it's like you can, you know, do everything under the sun, but the thing is he has to recognize that he's in a low place and he needs to try to figure it out and maybe get in a routine and find a job and, you know, start moving towards something.

42:58 He needs ghouls, you know?

42:59 So... Get him motivated.

43:01 Yeah.

43:02 Find a way to motivate him.

43:04 And I think as for like the jealousy, same thing that I said before, just like you can't compare because comparing is going to make you.

43:12 Overthink and be like, why don't I have this? Why don't I have this?

43:15 And it's like, but you don't even know what you really want. Like, what do you truly want? You know, and express that to your boyfriend and be like, hey, I want to go on a picnic. You are unemployed and you don't do anything.

43:26 Let's go.

43:27 Yeah.

43:29 You have plans today?

43:30 I know you ain't got plans today, right?

43:32 Like, let's go.

43:33 That's funny. All right.

43:35 We do have an update. One year, 10 days later. Oh, dang.

43:40 Okay.

43:40 I don't think I got any.

43:42 Actual helpful advice aside from dump his butt. But a lot has changed that I thought I would update. For starters, I dumped Gerald. Yeah, I feel like that was coming.

43:52 You weren't happy. You wanted more. He couldn't give it to you. So that's the end.

43:56 He was upset and tried to convince me to give him a second chance, but I was done. I was sick of wasting all my time watching anime and gaming with him. I don't even like anime. And I was getting really burned out on nerd crap to begin with. I took my older, more intimidating sister to tell him to never call me again. Last I heard, he was still unemployed and living with his parents. No one else in his life. Pretty sad, to be honest. As for me, well, things are starting to look up. Part of my frustration two years ago was dating as someone with Asperger's. People think that when you're an Aspie, you can't function well in society. They treat you like you are meant to be handled with kid gloves, or like a young child,

44:35 and I was frustrated that, with my diagnosis, I was doomed to date losers like Gerald. To be honest, I didn't really find the advice I got helpful. I instead asked my sisters what to do. I always trusted their advice, and I still do. I don't talk to my old friends from two years ago anymore. I realized they were just not worth keeping around. I was also fed up with my job and IT. I hated computers and the whole geek culture surrounding it, but felt pushed into it because of my Asperger's and how they are great at technology to begin with. It made good money, but what's the point of having that paycheck when you can't enjoy it?

45:08 I had no real friends, a boyfriend I resented, a job that I was crying every time I thought about it.

45:14 I was miserable.

45:15 Thanks to my sister's help and advice, I decided to turn things around. I went back to school, and I am currently studying forensic science. It's something I was always passionate about, but discouraged from pursuing for that more lucrative tech degree. I had an internship with my city's police department earlier this year, and never have I found work that I found to be stimulating and fulfilling for me.

45:35 Okay, that's amazing. Look at you, OP. Come on.

45:39 Yeah, good for you, OP.

45:40 You're doing it. And I don't think you need to... You know, just because people are like, well, people usually with.

45:46 You know, this kind of diagnosis are in these types of jobs. That doesn't mean you can't define the odds. You know, just because, you know, you are diagnosed with this, it doesn't mean that you can't do anything else outside of that.

46:01 Bro, let me introduce you to my friend, the indomitable human spirit, dog. There is nothing that you can... set your mind to, that you can always achieve. You can do anything that you want. Literally do anything you want. Put your mind to it.

46:15 I love hanging out with the friends I made. We share a dark humor that can brighten the grimiest of cases. I actually talk to them about the things that interest me, like historical cold cases and anatomy and bizarre illnesses.

46:29 Opie, I think you've moved on and you've done great.

46:32 Like, give yourself a pat on the back. You're doing it. You're doing what you want. You're not stuck, like, you know... your ex you're not sitting there being like well i don't know i can't do anything right so i guess i'll just sit here in the mess i made and it's like come on make your bed go outside have a have a.

46:49 Day have a day dude.

46:52 Have a day of not just moping around you know go go smile go laugh at something go like smell smell the flowers go smell the.

47:02 Fresh air outside sniff those flowers baby.

47:05 And I am in a happy relationship. It's with a woman I met in one of my classes and we compliment each other so well. I won't say her real name, but let's say it's Maria. Never have I felt so content to be with someone. And you know, that was probably also the reason why you were so resentful and didn't like, you know, who you were with and everything.

47:25 Cause that just wasn't, you thought you literally, you were going by what society standards wants you to do. And at the end of the day, Society isn't going to make you happy. The actions that you choose, the things that you do, that's what's going to make you happy. So don't sit there and be like, well, you know, since I have Asperger's, I can't do this.

47:46 Yes, you can. Why not? Why not? Give it a try. And if you fail miserably, okay, cool. On to the next. Like, that's just life.

47:54 Keep it moving, baby. Keep it moving.

47:57 We have a date later tonight and are making plans to move in together. All in all, I will say this is a chapter of my life I consider closed. Me from two years ago would be happy to know that I'm thriving now. Well, good for you, LP. I'm glad that you got out of this because you needed to. You needed to just be done with the whole thing and move on for your sake because he was just dragging you down. And if you would have stayed, you would have been probably twice as miserable as you were before.

48:25 So I'm glad you realized, I don't want to do this. This isn't my future and I'm going to move on.

48:30 Yeah, I'd rather be like Single, then stuck in a bad relationship.

48:36 I always say that.

48:37 I'd rather be doing that. But good on you, Opie.

48:39 It sounds like you pulled your big girl pants up and you made the right decision.

48:45 And now look, you're doing things that you actually like.

48:48 I know. That's awesome.

48:50 That's amazing.

48:51 And that's the end of this story. We're going to go on to the next one.

48:55 My boyfriend wet himself rather than pull the car over and then blamed me for it.

49:03 Oh, little baby don't know how to be potty trained.

49:07 My boyfriend, 27 male, and I, 28 female, have been dating for three years. We were driving in the back roads for an hour and near the beginning of our journey.

49:16 He said he needed to pee.

49:18 I asked him at least four or five times if he wanted to pull over since he was driving and he refused. When we were almost home with a gas station in sight, he said he couldn't make it any longer and peed his pants. It was a very awkward ride home the rest of the way for 10 minutes. I didn't mention it and helped him clean it up while he showered. and put on some fresh shorts. Marry this chick right now, bro. What are you doing, dude?

49:46 I just think I would be like, what? Like, huh?

49:50 He then tried to leave my house to return to his own house after he got out. I asked why, and he said that it was because of him peeing himself, and it happened because I was mad at him over something he had said before we left from our destination. What he said wasn't relevant to the story. But by the way, this comes from throwaway45305. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to r slash okstorytime.

50:15 I'm Mike.

50:16 I'm Savannah.

50:17 And today we're here to give good advice goofily, but we don't know all the answers. We just know what we would do. So go ahead and sound off in the comments below what you would do.

50:26 Other than that, as OP says, previous to us getting into the car, I had told him I didn't want to talk about the issue for an hour and just wanted to cool down a bit before we discussed it. as I needed some time to process things. I wasn't overly chatty during the car ride home, but I wasn't giving him the cold shoulder or anything. He said he just wanted to get home to discuss it. Totally against his character, he is completely against confrontation, and that he didn't want to pull over so he could get out the car quicker. I didn't really understand his explanation, but I haven't pushed. Reddit, I've had a hard time dealing with this. On one hand, I know that bodily functions sometimes cannot be controlled.

51:05 But he was in.

51:05 Full control of the car and himself and refused to pull over.

51:10 By the way, such a guy thing to do, dude.

51:14 Piss yourself?

51:15 No, just to like go on like road trips. Be like, I can handle it, dude.

51:19 Oh, I'm just going to say, hey, I have to pee. Can we like find a rest stop, gas station, something?

51:25 I don't know why. It's a guy thing. Why?

51:28 Just go piss.

51:29 No, I think it's maybe like a pride thing that we have.

51:34 I'm not going to piss because I'm better than that.

51:37 Which is so funny because you lose all your pride if you do piss yourself.

51:42 Yeah, it just makes no sense. I would rather you just go pee. I don't think any less of you if you just pull over to pee.

51:49 Surprisingly.

51:50 So then he kind of shifted the blame to me. I've had a hard time looking at him the same way. I mean, he is a grown man. Why is he pissing himself?

52:03 And that is the question of the year right there.

52:06 I feel terrible for feeling this way. But he's never acted embarrassed or anything. Just kind of got defensive.

52:14 Oh, for what?

52:15 Got defensive that you chose to piss yourself instead of just going off the road?

52:22 Shut up you'll get me i don't.

52:25 Know is that was this the better solution in your.

52:29 Mind bro like if you're gonna go down this road of being defensive i like you gotta play into it right you like you pissed yourself you lost okay you lost the game already dude just like just move on go ahead and move on gaslighting your girlfriend into pissing yourself is next level dude.

52:47 That's like, I don't even know how you can even do that. Like, yeah, you made me. One, you were driving. Two, I don't control what you do. And three, I'm just sitting here trying to.

52:56 Read a book and all of a sudden you're over here pissing yourself.

53:00 Sorry, I should have stopped you. Should have stopped you.

53:02 My bad. My bad.

53:04 That's on me.

53:04 You're right. You're right. You're right, Pete. It was my bad.

53:07 So I asked him if this has ever happened before and he insisted that it hasn't.

53:12 Am I overreacting to what happened? I feel like I might be.

53:17 No, what?

53:17 You're overreacting to him pissing himself when he's like 20-some years old?

53:23 If he believed that that was the right decision, there is an issue here.

53:27 Yeah, I would hate to see what he does in a life or death situation, you know?

53:32 He runs away.

53:32 He has full control of that. His bladder disappears. It just absorbs into his body.

53:37 We got a couple of comments here. So Kalisti Gold says, no, you aren't overreacting. He pissed himself instead of pulling over for a minute. He was fully in control of his body and the car the entire time. His actions are a result of his own decisions and have nothing to do with you.

53:58 I'd have trouble respecting.

53:59 Him ever again after hearing him blame me for his decisions just to piss his pants. It's like a toddler yelling, look what you made me do. OP responds, him acting like a toddler is what it kind of felt like.

54:12 I was like, why did you do that? And he was like, cause you were mad at me.

54:17 Oh my dude. What? You're mad at me.

54:22 So I had to piss myself to prove a point.

54:25 Like, and, and is the problem solved now?

54:30 I just don't understand. Like what, what is, where, where's the logic here? I mean, you pissed yourself. So you obviously don't have any logic. So, but I just like, I'm trying to find it. And you have no hope.

54:41 It seems like, I was so confused because I didn't see how the two correlate. I'm having a really hard time feeling attracted to him since then, which I'm not sure is normal or why I should feel this way.

54:53 You're seeing him as a little piss boy.

54:54 Yeah, you've lost respect for him as a man.

54:58 You're like, oh, oh, you're a toddler. Oh, I'm dating a six-year-old. Ah, yeah, this is really eye-opening.

55:06 He chose to piss himself.

55:09 And then also chose to blame her.

55:11 It's just like he tries to initiate and I cannot get turned on at all.

55:17 Well, we got an update here, folks.

55:20 19 days later, I had originally posted it before six months ago when the incident originally happened and didn't get any response. So I truly thought I was underreacting and kind of swallowed my concerns. But over time, they kept creeping up and I started noticing more and more that everything was my fault in his life So I decided to repost it again. This post really affirmed what I knew, but didn't want to accept for whatever reason that the relationship had to end. The thread made me think a lot about my life and what our life together would look like. All I could think about was this, his pissing himself happening again in the future. I thought about us having children and how he would deal with them.

56:04 I thought about having to make tough decisions with him. And I thought about making tough financial decisions. I thought about having to go through tough life events like losing a parent.

56:14 I realized that I would always be blamed for this.

56:18 I'm just thinking, like, it's so funny because, like, when they'll just be like, yeah, like, I thought about, like, you know, like losing a parent.

56:25 And he would piss himself at the wedding or at the funeral. I thought about what would happen if we need money. And he would just piss himself. He's, like, constantly just hammering it.

56:35 Every inconvenience, he just pisses himself.

56:37 So blamed him for things that went wrong, even though they were not my fault or in my control, and thought he wasn't someone I could truly rely on for support. I just took him to literally and purposely lose control of his own bladder for me to see this. I broke up with him a few days after the original post.

56:57 So I told him I wasn't happy with the relationship anymore and that I wanted out. He didn't really fight or ask why. So a surprisingly easy breakup. He has had other issues in his life and refuses in general the idea of therapy.

57:12 Sounds like a good guy.

57:13 So I didn't even suggest it for whatever issues he has going on when I ended it. Not really my problem or concern anymore. We got, I mean, there's not much really to discuss here.

57:23 Yeah, I'm imagining him. She's like, I want to break up. And he just pisses.

57:26 So we have an update here.

57:29 Despite being together three years, I was surprised with how relieved I felt when I let it go.

57:34 Fun intended.

57:36 I think I mourned the relationship for a day or two, and I've been totally fine since. I've been hitting the gym almost every day at lunch and have had plans every night with friends or family. I generally am a social person, so I really haven't let the loss of this relationship get me down. I guess if anything, this whole thing has really opened my eyes to trusting my gut and my instincts. I knew him pissing himself was messed up, and I knew and felt like he was blaming me. I should have trusted my gut and ended it right then and there when he truly showed.

58:09 Me who he was. And that is the end of our story.

58:15 But the thing is, he eventually got there.

58:17 It took you like, you know, what, like, I mean, I don't know how long it took you after, but I'm hoping maybe like a week or something, a couple of days took you to figure that out.

58:26 But yeah, he just, he wasn't right for you. And I don't know if he's right for anyone.

58:31 And like you said, you know, you did the right thing. You know, you let him go. And yeah, I'm sorry, dude.

58:37 Hopefully that never has to happen to you again.

58:39 Now when he pisses himself, He only has himself to blame.

58:42 Yeah. And he will be thinking of you.

58:45 Oh, for sure.

58:47 And that's the end of this story. We're going to go on to the next one.

58:50 Hey, it's Carly, Keon's girlfriend here.

58:53 We're going to get back to the stories, but here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

58:58 My ex-wife's little sister wants to date me and I'm kind of considering it.

59:04 Oh, talk about family drama.

59:06 Quick background.

59:07 My ex-wife is the same age as me and I, 28 male, have not seen her since we divorced three years ago. There was nothing juicy about the divorce, just two kids who got married too young too soon and realized it too late. We divorced pretty amicably and she ended up moving away. I did as well for a time, but I ended up coming back home last year. I got along with her family until the end, although I did not know her sister that well, since either we were in college or she was in college away from us.

59:37 My ex was not really close with her sister, but they also did not have any ill will towards each other. Anyway, I ran into Riley, my ex's wife's sister, 24 female, and she told me that my ex is engaged and happy, which I was actually happy to hear. She said her parents are doing well and that they had even asked her a little while if she knew what I was doing, which she didn't because I don't keep in contact with anyone from her family. It was a nice conversation. Before we finished talking, Riley asked me if I would like to have a drink with her sometime. I thought maybe she just wanted to catch up in a better setting.

1:00:11 But then she said, but I understand if you don't want to go on a date with your ex-wife's sister.

1:00:16 So it's a date. By the way, this comes from throwaway4111.

1:00:22 And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit.

1:00:26 I'm Savannah.

1:00:27 And I'm Mike.

1:00:28 And we're here.

1:00:29 To talk about some stuff, get some advice.

1:00:31 But we don't have all of your answers, unfortunately.

1:00:34 Wish we did.

1:00:34 That'd be pretty cool. But also, that's a lot to keep in this brain. And I don't want all that trouble. So I'm going to tell you what I'm going to do. Mike's going to tell you what he's going to do. And then you are going to tell us what you would do down in the comments. As OP says... I did end up exchanging numbers with her, asking her kind of lightly how her parents would feel, and got a, they would probably be happy that I found someone they liked.

1:00:56 She did mention before she asked me out that she was always surprised that her sister let such a good guy go, which I corrected her on and told her it was definitely mutual. But I keep thinking that it's weird. She's obviously a grown woman now, but she was a teenager when I started dating my ex-wife. I would feel weird going.

1:01:13 To her parents.

1:01:14 almost being like, hey, I decided to give your other daughter a try. Then how would my ex feel about it? Would it ruin her relationship with her sister? And if we got serious, I'd have to see my ex-wife at functions.

1:01:27 Help me. So there is an edit. Yeah, me personally, I would not go on the date.

1:01:33 I'd be like, no, no, no.

1:01:35 That will just cause mayhem. And if it doesn't work out again, it's like, sorry, I don't know what I'm doing.

1:01:44 He already had the sister, you know what I mean?

1:01:47 That's weird.

1:01:49 Anyway, there's an edit.

1:01:51 I texted Riley and told her that I don't think it is appropriate for us to go on a date. I told her that I enjoyed talking to her and catching up, but that we should only be cordial if we see each other out. I also told her that it is nothing personal against her, but that given my history with her sister, it just isn't appropriate. She replied that she understood and respected my decision, but also said that she didn't think my ex-wife would have a problem with it.

1:02:14 I was steadfast.

1:02:16 I also learned a lot about myself here. I miss being a husband. I don't miss my ex-wife, but I miss what we once had. And I want that again with someone else. I think her being my ex-wife's sister brought out some feelings in me that were never unlocked by the woman I went on dates with in the interim.

1:02:34 Because they were detached enough from my previous marriage that I could still repress those feelings.

1:02:40 And there's another update... I'm just going to get into it because I want to know.

1:02:44 I want to know what's going on here. Okay, this became a whole crap show.

1:02:48 Oh no.

1:02:49 I really believed I was being optimistic thinking my previous post might get 50 comments. It's like 2,000 now. Also, all of these names are fake. I sent this to everyone and got permission from all of them to post it. The next day, I got a text from Riley with a link to the post.

1:03:06 What the F?

1:03:08 Apparently, Riley is no stranger to Reddit and she immediately knew it was me. I finally called her, and the first couple of minutes involved crying and tongue lashings, although not as bad as I was anticipating. Okay, but why is she, like, mad about that? It's not like he, you know, said, like, oh, she's stupid and ugly, and I'd never go out with her.

1:03:28 He was just like, no, it's just a weird.

1:03:29 Situation, and I just, like, feel bad about it, so I just don't want to make anyone else feel weirded out.

1:03:36 And, like, she took that personally. I don't know.

1:03:38 I think she might have just been mad just because, like, she got sent it on Reddit, which is like, you just get, bro, you get like a link and then like thousands of people are like trash and you did and trash in the situation.

1:03:53 Reddit can be very scary. It could be a scary place, but also sometimes you do get really good advice though.

1:03:58 That's true.

1:04:00 I apologize profusely.

1:04:01 And thankfully she leveled out a bit and we were able to have a civil conversation. Riley told me that she wasn't overly upset with me and that she understood why I made the post. She admitted that asking me out was a stupid thing to do.

1:04:13 Her words.

1:04:14 What really hurt her was how many people thought she was trying to undermine or cause pain for her sister, which she assured me and asked me to assure everyone was absolutely not the case. Yeah, I did not think that at all. We had a moment of commiseration. when she said that when people mentioned things about the two of us that were explicitly spicy related, she had also not gotten that far in her mind and reading them was as jarring as I found them. No offense, she said to me, but the more I think about it, the more gross I realize it is. Then Riley told me that Julia, my ex-wife, wanted to call and talk to me. I figured I deserved it from both barrels, so I told her that I was okay with that.

1:04:57 Julia suggested Skype since she lived two hours away. She said the only condition on her end was that her fiance, Tom, would be listening in to the entire conversation because she was not comfortable having a conversation with her ex-husband behind her fiance's back. A couple of hours later I fired up the laptop. There on the call was my ex-wife.

1:05:15 I had not seen or spoken to this woman in three years. While it was a bit surreal I did not have any flood of feelings when I saw her. When she saw me she smiled and waved. Then she leaned into the screen.

1:05:27 You're an idiot.

1:05:28 I put my hand over my eyes and groaned. Thankfully, I could hear her giggling. If I didn't know you so well, I would want to strangle you. She called her fiance over and introduced me to him. I apologized to him and assured him that I wasn't here for anything underhanded. He put up his arms and said, the less I'm involved, the better. And with a sly grin, he said, I asked Julie if I should thank you for divorcing her, but she didn't think that was funny.

1:05:53 She slapped his shoulder and replied, do you want to sit on the couch now or sleep on it later? Tom leaned in and said, Nice meeting you, and scurried off. First, regarding Riley, not only was Julia not angry with her, she said she wasn't even surprised. Julia said that, had Riley done this immediately after our divorce, she would have slapped her silly. But having a few years away from the divorce, she was able to process what was going on.

1:06:17 Julia said, I might be surprised to learn that she had already gone through the same emotions I was going through. She said a couple of months after our divorce was finalized, she went through a brief period where she thought she had.

1:06:28 Made a terrible mistake.

1:06:30 She had moved away, did not have as many people to talk to, and became very depressed and lonely. She nearly got a hold of me to ask if I would take her back. Her friend insisted that she get into therapy, which she did, and she discovered that it was not me she missed, it was having a companion. She said after reading what I had written, it felt like deja vu, and she wanted me to know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

1:06:53 Okay, wait, this is kind of a sweet little moment.

1:06:56 Yeah, right? I'm liking this. There's a little tearjerker right over here.

1:07:00 You guys are, like, having, like, a real-life conversation.

1:07:03 And it doesn't have to be fighting, like, it was your fault, why it didn't work out, and all this stuff.

1:07:08 Like, no, you're both in happy places.

1:07:10 And she is recognizing that you are now going through what she went through a couple years prior. So she's like, I just want you to know, you know, you'll survive this type of thing. That's actually very sweet to say.

1:07:21 Yeah, super sweet.

1:07:22 Okay, I'm liking these. I like these people. We also talked about our divorce.

1:07:26 A lot of that I'm not going to share, but I mentioned in my last post that sometimes Julia would be okay with something even when she wasn't. She admitted that she had a problem doing this and has worked on it since. She said that she could be a bit jaded and cynical, but that for my part, I was entirely too naive and optimistic about everything. She said there were moments where she felt I was almost dismissive of her feelings because I had the mantra of.

1:07:49 Everything will work out in the end.

1:07:52 Or if she had an issue with someone, she felt my optimism would make it seem like I was taking that person's side. She said that sometimes she just wanted her husband to be mad with her and not try to play peacekeeper. She also said that I was awful at picking up cues. I won't forget this line. My parents' dog could tell I was upset and you couldn't. She said, do you understand how frustrating it is when you have to spell everything out to your husband? Finally, she accepted some responsibility. My biggest mistake was never spelling that out to you. I tried to spare your feelings too many times, and in doing so, I was putting a band-aid on an amputation. She said that part of what prevented her

1:08:32 was that she felt I was such a pure soul that conveying it would somehow corrupt me.

1:08:37 On to Riley.

1:08:38 Julia said, Riley and I were actually a lot alike in that respect.

1:08:42 Naive and trusting to a fault.

1:08:44 Apparently, Riley looked up to me as a husband way more than I ever realized. Julia said she always knew Riley had a little crush on me, not in the sense that she wanted me for herself, but she suspects that because we share similar personality traits, Riley pictured someone like me as the idealist.

1:09:00 Husband.

1:09:01 When Julia and I were around people, we really were the perfect couple. People were very surprised to hear about our divorce because all of our problems were internal. Since Riley did not see us all the time, she was getting a very truncated version of our marriage. Julia said that Riley would talk about how nice and funny I was and how well I treated her sister. Even in her rocky stages, Julia never had the heart to tell Riley that it eventually became a facade, because she wanted Riley to view me that way and hope that she would find a nice guy herself.

1:09:31 She even gave me an anecdote.

1:09:33 Riley was dating a guy in college, and he did something pretty terrible, and Riley asked her, would OP do something like that? Julia told her that I wouldn't, and the next week, she found out Riley had dumped him. I asked her if she really thought that had something to.

1:09:48 Do with it.

1:09:49 Julia laughed and said, you still don't get it.

1:09:54 Oh, she is blatantly spelling it out for you. Like you got to know at this point.

1:10:01 Nah, it just felt like it.

1:10:03 Julia said that Riley has since had some relationships that were extremely toxic because Riley was easy to take advantage of.

1:10:11 Yeah.

1:10:12 Her guess was that between Riley's picture of me as this perfect husband and her string of bad relationships, it made her feel like dating me would ensure that she would finally have the good husband she always wanted and that she was so eager to find Mr. Right that she did not even think about what dating her ex-brother-in-law might entail. She also chastised me a bit. She hated the line in my post about her and Riley not being that close. I told her that I knew they texted, but they didn't hang out a lot, to which she replied she was going to college a few states away.

1:10:43 You idiot.

1:10:44 When were we supposed to hang out?

1:10:46 So maybe Riley and I should date after all, right?

1:10:51 No chance.

1:10:52 Julia felt like we would just enable each other's naivety. that our relationship would become so juvenile that eventually when either of us needed the other to be the adult in the room, we would not be capable of it, and we both would probably become bitter and resentful. She felt that while Julia and I were incompatible because we weren't enough alike, Riley and I would never work because we were too alike. She also said that selfishly, she feared that if things between Riley and me didn't work, Riley might resent her. I asked about her parents. Julia said that if she gave an enthusiastic blessing, they would probably be happy for us, but she was not capable of doing that, so they would likewise not be happy

1:11:32 because they would hate the tension it could cause between their two girls. I was also told by Julia to put this in the post. I know my sister better than you do, and I know that while what she did was ill-conceived, I know she didn't mean me any harm. If you want to continue to believe that she did, knock yourself out. Finally, she told me to go to therapy.

1:11:53 to not date for a few months, and to focus on healing myself. She assured me with Tom in the room that overall I was a wonderful man who would make someone very happy, but that I had some growing up to do first. so I didn't repeat the same mistakes I made with her. Last weekend, to cap it off, we had an ex-family meeting at her parents' house. It was really nice to see them, and they were very welcoming, although her father pulled me aside, shook his head, and said, why in the heck did you think it was a good idea to get the opinions of a bunch of idiots on the internet?

1:12:24 Sorry.

1:12:25 Hey, we're not idiots. Don't call us that.

1:12:28 The biggest revelation here is that her mother confessed that part of this might have been her fault. She said that in the interim between our divorce and Julia and Tom getting serious, she would sometimes bring up to Riley that it was a shame OP and Julia couldn't work it out. And things like, he was such a nice man, I hope he's doing okay. She never told Riley to try and date me, but looking back, she might have signaled that she and her husband would love to have me back in the family. Her father then said that he remembered telling Riley years ago as a joke that he was sad he was going to lose his fishing buddy. Riley, for her part, said that she did have the feeling that her parents would be excited for her to date me,

1:13:07 but she apologized to Julia because she felt that she was only thinking about herself and her parents and that it was inexcusable how little she considered her sister.

1:13:16 She said that she foolishly thought that Julia would be over it.

1:13:31 I opened up to all of them and said that I was guilty of the same and that I should have known what a bad idea was from the start.

1:13:37 I also apologize for the Reddit post. Any final thoughts?

1:13:41 Don't date your sister. I mean, I know you guys were close, right?

1:13:45 But that shouldn't mean that you literally go back and potentially just like ruin another relationship, I guess. Because obviously it didn't work out in the first place for like a reason, right? You know, you guys said it was internal.

1:14:01 It's really weird to be in that situation, but I think that ultimately you're choosing the best way to go about this because you don't need to get mixed up in this family again with a different sister.

1:14:11 Come on, you gotta know better, OP. You'll find someone outside.

1:14:15 Of the family. Do better, OP, please.

1:14:18 All right, let's finish it up. By the end, we all hugged. I even hugged Tom.

1:14:23 Poor Tom.

1:14:23 Her father in his.

1:14:24 Jolly old way said, well, I have two daughters I couldn't be more proud of. I'm excited to welcome a wonderful son-in-law to the family. And OP, you're going to make a great husband someday. Julia even pulled me aside later and said, if you ever want to go fishing with my dad, I'm okay with that. He could really use his fishing buddy back. This is going to be it.

1:14:44 Riley and I will be friendly if we see each other, but we won't be dating. I might go fishing with her dad sometime. I wish Julia and Tom the best. And I know that one day I'll find the right person too. It just won't be from that family.

1:14:55 Yes, OP. There you go. That's what I wanted to hear.

1:14:59 Way to use your noggin, baby.

1:15:01 You realized, you know, actually, I don't have to do this.

1:15:05 There's no pressure for me to do any of this and make any of these decisions. So I think you'll be fine. I think going to therapy, talking to people about it, going through this, you know, stage on your own is going to help you a lot in the long run. And it will lead you to your person.

1:15:25 And that's the end of this story.