My ex FAKED her condition to manipulate me… I almost fell for it! -r/BORUpdates | Reddit Stories | EP3129

0:00 Hey, this is Angie.

0:01 And this is Riley, your favorite OK Storytime host. And we got some great stories coming up.

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0:10 My ex faked her condition to manipulate me. I almost fell for it.

0:16 Oh, you almost had me.

0:18 Trigger warning, terminal illness. Like, not really. So about a year ago, I, 21 male, broke things off with this girl, 22 female, because of some minorly... remarks and offensive comments about people I care about. Yesterday she reached out to me to tell me she has terminal illness and is passing away? Yikes.

0:38 Oh no.

0:39 She also wanted to apologize and we discussed maybe talking in person because an old conversation over Instagram DMs?

0:47 Yeah?

0:48 One of my friends is insisting I should not grant her this because of what she had said to me in the past. Saying that she's using terminal illness card as an easy out for what she had done. I'm still leaning towards talking with her because it would bother me for the rest of my life if I didn't. But would I be the a-hole if I didn't forgive her? Questions, thoughts, and commentary are welcome. By the way, this comes from Bloom Shroom, and if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash OK Storytime subreddit. I'm Riley.

1:18 I'm Savannah.

1:19 I'm Keon.

1:19 And we're here to read stories goofily and keep each other accountable and on track. If you guys have anything you'd like to add, please add it down below. Should also be noted that my friend said what she said to be somewhat protective. I'm obviously not going to get into it all of what was said a year ago because I don't want crap on the passing away. But it wasn't awesome to hear. I do play it down a lot because I try not to let people know.

1:43 have that kind of effect on me, but my friend has a better recollection of how tore up I was, I guess. I appreciate this though. What made you think she might genuinely regret what she said? Yeah, that's kind of what I was thinking too, because she was raised somewhat religious, and when I explained the context of what she had said to me, she was mortified. I'm just concerned why my friend is urging me so strongly against it, because she's also right about this kind of stuff. Someone asked, why are you still wary about the situation? Opie says, no, I think a lot of people are looking at this like I've been besties with this girl for a very long time or something. We talked for a couple of months over a year ago and didn't talk much before

2:27 or after. She said a lot of interesting things. I don't necessarily have the evidence to back up. And this entire conversation is happening online. So like, I'm just obviously kind of wary. Another person asked, do you actually want to meet her? He says, I'm not sure. Yes and no. I want to hear her out. But I also don't want to do something that's going to end up being a mistake.

2:49 Oh, that mistake.

2:51 Right.

2:52 He's like, oh, maybe have a shot.

2:54 Is that what he thinks, though?

2:57 He said, what other mistake could there be by talking to her in person?

3:00 I guess that he's going to fall in love.

3:03 Does anyone else have a thought?

3:05 I would think that he would, I mean, but do you think that they're going to catch feelings though?

3:09 I mean, he's entertaining it. If he didn't have feelings for her, he wouldn't entertain this. There's another comment here. Why did you ask to meet in person instead of continue the conversation over messages? He says, I'm not sure. That's what's throwing me. She sounded pretty out of it. Could be from meds or chemo or whatnot. And she didn't say much beyond that. She has terminal illness and is passing away. I'm the one who asked to meet up because I have a hard time with these kinds of emotionally involved conversations over text.

3:37 I just don't understand why he needs to meet in person. What are you going to get in person that you can't get over a conversation?

3:42 A kiss.

3:43 True.

3:44 Yeah, but.

3:45 Mm-mm.

3:45 Nah, I'd be like, can I get proof, like real proof of this? Because all of a sudden, just now?

3:51 Like, is she doing it as a way to be manipulative to get him back or what?

3:54 Okay.

3:55 It has to be.

3:57 I mean, if my ex came to me and was like, hey, I'm terminally ill, I'd be like, that's cool.

4:00 But she also said, I have this, and I'm stressed out, and that's why I said the things I said.

4:06 Get back together with me, please.

4:07 No.

4:08 Ew!

4:09 Don't pull that card. Ew.

4:10 That's what's basically happening.

4:13 No.

4:13 No, no, no, no.

4:14 I won't even entertain it because that's just going to drive me crazy because me, being the nice and kind person that I am, will feel really bad. But I would have to just get far away from that.

4:24 Yeah. Another person asked, what is making forgiveness feel difficult, even though you want to be kind? He says, thank you. Not a lot of people are able to see the gray space I'm in mentally. It's not that I don't want to be kind and forgive her. I don't know. Trust is such a hard thing. But at least regardless of what happens, I'll know I did what I could if I talked to her in person.

4:45 I don't know, man.

4:46 If you're using that, that doesn't justify you to be an a-hole. Terminal illness, whatever.

4:52 Yeah, I get it. But doesn't justify you saying the things you said.

4:56 But look, I didn't know I had cancer brain back then. Now I do. That was just the cancerous part of me.

5:02 Now I know.

5:03 I just like, I don't know. I wouldn't.

5:06 But that was Cancer Maddie. Me and Maddie now is not.

5:09 Yeah, no.

5:10 Terminal illness doesn't make you do, unless it's like, you know, affected by the brain or whatever. But like, I don't know.

5:15 We don't know what kind it is.

5:16 I wouldn't be able to fall for it. Personally, I'd be like, no, I don't care. No excuse.

5:21 I like Melissa's thing. OP, just forgive them from a distance and move on.

5:25 Yeah.

5:25 But I think he finds her attractive. I think that's why he's entertaining it.

5:29 Okay, then cool. Then go be with her then.

5:31 I don't know.

5:32 So another comment here. What do you think you would regret more? Yeah, I think I live with my friend judging me a lot easier. And I could if I didn't grant some sort of peace and forgiveness to somebody I won't have the chance to again. Update two months later and 17 days. After two months and 17 days, basically she had DM'd me saying that she had terminal illness and was sorry for what had happened and just wanted to make peace with everything. I asked her if we could meet up purely because text and DM conversations are really hard for me to understand as an autistic person at times. And There was a weird back and forth where she rain checked several times back to back.

6:12 Weird that she's playing with your emotions too. She ended up blocking me and I thought nothing of it for the most part. Just that I had tried to do my best part to help her make peace. And she didn't seem intent on meeting up. So there wasn't much more to be said. So this was about three months ago.

6:29 She finds my Instagram again on the other night to DM me. By the way, everything I said was just a prank. I got paid $ 500 to tell someone something really effed up.

6:39 Yeah, block.

6:39 Or something adjacent to that? Perhaps not verbatim?

6:42 What?

6:43 500 bucks for that?

6:45 And you told your ex?

6:47 I thought about it for a while and just decided to block her without responding. Because obviously she's after some sort of attention. And quite frankly, I'm not interested in giving it to her.

6:59 Dang.

7:00 Yeah, she 15 years old? I think so.

7:02 It's just like, I don't know. $ 500?

7:03 Yeah.

7:03 I wouldn't do that for.

7:08 To a 22-year-old who's probably not working that much?

7:10 I just, like, I don't know.

7:12 That's a lifetime.

7:14 Yeah, but still, I just don't, like, money to me isn't really that important because I always, like, my mindset is you always make it back. You know, as long as you're working, you always make that money back. Me and my sister were just talking about this yesterday.

7:26 Yeah, you were.

7:26 On the way to your house.

7:27 Wow.

7:28 Because she said she wants to go to Italy. And she was like, why do, like, I want to go before I'm, like, 30. And she's 27 now.

7:36 She's super young. She'll be fine. If she weren't 30, she'd be fine. I know.

7:40 Isabella says she probably lied about the $ 500. Oh, yeah.

7:44 Of course, dude.

7:45 That's true. $ 500?

7:45 You think that's going to make me feel better about you doing it? Yeah.

7:49 And to be like, oh, yeah, okay, now I get it. You got me.

7:54 Send me $ 50, and then I'll feel like, oh, cool.

7:57 $ 50? Really? Send me $ 350. Dang. Send me $ 350. It never happened.

8:03 Oh.

8:04 And.

8:05 Also because that's genuinely such a twisted thing to do to somebody. Anyways, wanted to give everyone an update. Thank you for all of those who told me to be skeptical from the jump. Saved me a lot of heartache from getting emotionally attached in any way, shape, or form. People can be so. So what, I suppose.

8:21 Fair.

8:21 Yeah. I mean, sometimes Keon knows what I'm talking about. Sometimes you see a girl and you just see your life with you and her flash before your eyes.

8:31 Wow.

8:31 And that's the end of this story. We're going to read the next one.

8:34 I told my girlfriend a lie about my childhood. She believed everything. Yeah, maybe because she trusts you. So, I'm a university student, and I've been going out with my girlfriend, Leah, fake name, for a few months. Yeah, Leah with an H.

8:49 Completely fake leah fake name lover she's such a good vibe.

8:52 I live off campus with two roommates while she lives in the dorms with five bazillion other people so obviously she spends a lot of time at my place now to be clear i'm not really a prank guy and i don't really see the point of investing time and effort into making my loved ones uncomfortable however i am a sarcastic person and i don't Like, hate practical jokes.

9:15 I just think they should generally be good-natured and shouldn't cause damage or too much distress. I am completely with you on that one. I am, however, as stated, pretty sarcastic. This morning, we were getting up after a late night and I rolled out of bed, told my girlfriend I was going to take a dump, and left the room.

9:34 When I got to the restroom, it was occupied, so I went to the shower room. Those are separate rooms here. Brushed my teeth, got a drink in the kitchen, and got back. My girlfriend asked, did you have a good poop?

9:45 Aw, she's supportive.

9:47 And I went, bathroom was occupied, and she, still groggy, asked, so you didn't poop? To which I sarcastically replied, I just went in the sink and rolled over. Now, usually my girlfriend is very good at picking up on when i am being sarcastic but apparently this particular instance was an exception because 15 minutes later she shakes me awake and goes wait did you really poop in the sink.

10:09 There's no way there's no way there's no way.

10:16 As I said, I don't usually prank people, but it was right there. And apparently I'm an idiot. So instead of telling her that, no, obviously I didn't poop in the sink. I go, oh yeah, totally did.

10:27 Honestly, such a fair response. Because what do you mean you actually think I did that?

10:32 Yeah, like, oh yeah, I totally did.

10:34 This makes me question everything I thought I knew about you.

10:37 If you think I did that.

10:39 By the way, this comes from Downtown Basic 5001. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash okay story time subreddit. I'm Savannah.

10:47 I'm Dakota.

10:48 And we're here to talk about some stuff, get some advice. But we don't have all your answers. We're just going to tell you what we would do. But let us know what you would do down in the comments. As OP says... She looks horrified, obviously. She asks, wait, but where does the poop go? And now I am committed to this. So I explain how obviously you just turn on the faucet and let it wash away. She again, horrified, asks, but what if it's too solid?

11:15 Don't worry, babe. I'm so hydrated right now.

11:19 So me, now 100% committed to this gag, explain that you just wait for the person to finish on the toilet. Pick up the turd, throw it in the bowl and flush, duh. Leah is now in shock, but totally awake. She looks at me in horror and goes, why would you even think to do this? So for context, I come from a pretty poor family. And when I was little, we shared an apartment with my grandparents, my uncle and my great grandma, all with one bathroom.

11:47 Dang.

11:47 Leah knows this. I, God knows why, decide to commit even harder. So I explain, you see, my family was big and we only had one bathroom. So this is just a totally normal thing we did, pooping in the sink. This is just normal, socially acceptable behavior where I grew up. Everyone did it there. Leah seems kind of skeptical at this point, but we need to start going about our day, so we say goodbye for now. That evening, a friend comes over. His long-term girlfriend grew up in the same neighborhood as me.

12:19 Okay, okay, buddy.

12:21 We needed to put an end to the bit before we left to go about our day.

12:26 It's true. Just be like, by the way, I didn't actually poop in the sink.

12:29 Yeah, I'll never shame someone for committing to the bit, but you overcommitted to the bit.

12:35 That evening, a friend comes over. His long-term girlfriend grew up in the same neighborhood as me. I think very little about this prank all day, but when my friend comes over, Leah goes, wait, your girlfriend grew up in the same place as OP. Did she ever poop in the sink? I am now passing away on the inside.

12:54 But also in my mind, this is absolute gold. I am flat out sitcom mouthing at my friend play along, which Leah somehow doesn't get. And my friend who's a total bro goes, oh yeah, totally. It's so gross. Had to talk to her about not doing it in our apartment. No. Oh my God. Now you have the friend's head seat.

13:15 We've got multiple people committed to the bit now.

13:18 Oh no! She asks more questions. And we keep coming up with wilder and wilder crap about it. Sometimes the sink gets clogged. Sometimes the toilet and shower are in the same room. So you just fill a large cooking pot with water and poop in that. At some point, I become completely convinced that she is onto us and just wants to see how wild it gets. Because I told her I used to poop in cooking pots and she didn't break up with me yet.

13:44 Dang.

13:45 So now... The day is over and we're laying in bed and she nudges me and goes in the cutest voice ever. OP, while we're together, could you please not poop in the sink anymore? What do I do? I've now spent the entire day convincing her of this utter madness. What the heck do I do? Do I just not talk about it anymore? Do I tell her and hope she doesn't decide to break up with me on the spot?

14:10 And am I the a-hole? And there's an update.

14:13 Um.

14:14 Yeah, I don't know. I don't think you're an a-hole. I would think it would be a funny story later on to tell to be like, yeah, remember for a whole day I convinced you I pooped in sinks? I'd be like, yes.

14:27 And you were so supportive.

14:30 Right? That's what I'm saying.

14:33 Yeah, I don't know what you're looking for, buddy.

14:36 Yeah, just tell her that you're not a sink pooper.

14:41 Yeah, I just feel like, listen, I actually have never done that. And this was all a joke. And I can't believe you fell for it.

14:48 I was really just waiting for the moment you pushed back and realized that it wasn't real. But we just kind of sold it so good. And you're so nice. So I'm sorry. But no, I'm not. You never have to worry about that. Because it'll never happen.

15:04 It never has. I would go outside.

15:06 I would go outside before I go in the sink.

15:08 I'm going outside into the woods.

15:10 There's an update. Yes, you get the update along with the post because the situation is actually resolved. See, this actually happened 13 years ago. I'm 38 and Leah, my wife, is 35. We've been married over a decade and have a family together. That night after she asked me about it, I came clean, pun intended. I told her it was a prank because she didn't catch my sarcasm at that point and I just committed hard after that. She asked me if I planned it with my friend. I said, no, he was just being a bro.

15:38 Yeah, you guys were meant to be.

15:40 Yeah.

15:40 Anyone who doesn't immediately say it's over after you confess that you pooped in the sink, that's someone who'll stay with you forever.

15:48 Yeah, I'd be like, no, you didn't. And I just would not. I'd be like, there's no way. There's absolutely no way.

15:53 For richer or for poorer. For sink or for toilet.

15:57 See, the thing is, I would be the girl because I am very gullible and I would be.

16:02 Like, no.

16:02 No.

16:03 But then, like, if you committed to it, I'd be like, okay, what? And then the friend committed to it, and I'd be like, all right. What is happening?

16:09 Yeah, of course you'd be the girl.

16:11 You're a girl.

16:12 Oh, yeah, duh.

16:12 What, is this Shakespeare all of a sudden?

16:15 Now, I'm not saying that night I knew she was my person, but I'm not not saying that. See, at certain points, I thought she caught on and was just playing along to see how unhinged I could get with my BS. But no, this saint of a woman thought for a full day that I was some sort of madman pooping in sinks in cookware and thought, I'm sticking by this man, I can fix him, he is worth it.

16:38 Bless her. I hope I actually am. Nonetheless, all our friends and family are now familiar with the story, which we both love telling. And now this sub is too. Exactly. That's what I said. It's a great story. But like, go on. I mean, I'd be like, what is wrong with you? Like, why? Why do I have?

16:55 Why? That's a great inside joke to have forever.

16:58 That's true.

16:59 And that's the end of the story. We're going to read the next one.

17:02 My boyfriend accused me of betrayal over who painted my own bathroom.

17:08 I just know it's a conspiracy.

17:11 So I'm a 36 female, recently divorced. And during the divorce, I bought out my former husband. The house is over 100 years old and I want to make the house my own instead of the house that my former husband and I bought. So over the course of the past few months, I've been doing some DIY renovations, mostly painting, patching, stripping paint, fixing some of the quirks, that you would expect to find in a 100-year-old home.

17:37 So you've been ruining the house?

17:39 No, DIY.

17:40 Don't DIY a 100-year-old house, bro. Keep the 100-year-old house the way it is.

17:44 I've been with my boyfriend, 36 male, for only a short time, but when I was sharing with him the vision that I had for a remodel of the bathroom, mostly just stripping 50 layers of old paint, new paint, adding wainscoting, he expressed excitement in wanting to help.

18:00 He's like, oh my god, I'm so jazzed up about Wayne Scott.

18:07 So I obliged and told him what I wanted, and I bought all the tools, the paint, etc. This was about six weeks ago. He primed and put on the first coat of paint, but I didn't like the color. So about three weeks ago, I bought the right color of paint. And there it sat in my car until last Thursday, April 21st.

18:26 Would you go to the paint store and be like, can you guys give me the right paint? I got the wrong paint.

18:30 I need the right paint. You got any of that?

18:32 I know.

18:33 What happens if you think you like that? If you think you like the color and then you bring it home and you paint it and you're like, oh, actually, I hate that. Then what? You can't return it, can you?

18:44 I don't know.

18:45 You just have to repaint the wall with another color.

18:48 Yep.

18:48 Yeah, but you just spent all that money on paint and now you're going to double it and not even give it to the next person.

18:54 Maybe you can sell your paint. I got a bucket of wrong paint.

18:58 Wrong paint for sale. Wrong paint for sale. That's actually. Do people do that?

19:04 Yeah.

19:04 Do people what?

19:05 Sell paint?

19:06 Yeah.

19:07 Well, like your paint seller sell paint.

19:09 I bought a medieval helmet. Like there's people selling stuff.

19:13 I bought a medieval helmet.

19:14 There's people selling all kinds of stuff all over the place. Really? Yes.

19:19 Uh, I should mention that at the end of March, my boyfriend lost his job, so he's been spending a lot more time at my house during the week. But after getting the new paint color, it literally sat in my car for almost two weeks until he finally started painting last Thursday. He spent most of the time at my house sleeping, watching TV, and doing... other daily chores around the house, but during the day, mostly nothing. By the way, this comes from Remodeling is Hard. And if you want to make your own stories go to the r slash okay story time subreddit i'm savannah.

19:49 I'm dakota i'm riley.

19:51 And we are here to give some good advice goofily but we don't have all of your answers we are just going to tell you what we would do but let us know what you would do down in the comments because why not free.

19:59 Speech you should use it can't argue with that.

20:02 As op says Last Thursday, he started painting the trim. It took him forever, like hours to do the trim. And it's a tiny bathroom, like super tiny. My roommate and I have had our medicine cabinet taped shut for six weeks. The only outlet in the bathroom has been covered in tape and paint for six weeks. And frankly, we were both just getting sick of an unfinished bathroom.

20:24 My roommate had mentioned that she was going to paint the bathroom, and when I told my boyfriend on Thursday, he got pretty irritated because he wanted to finish it and told me that he would get super pissed if anyone touched the bathroom.

20:35 Okay, hey, not your house, buddy. Why don't you go get super pissed about not having a job? Let's do something about that.

20:41 Yeah, get really pissed about being unemployed. He proceeded to hide the tools from us like a little baby. I was not aware of this. On Friday, I was just not feeling like having him over. He'd been over a lot, and I just needed some me time. And honestly, I was finding crap all over my house that he had left behind, like piles of clothes, empty juice containers, just crap all over my house, and I was annoyed.

21:03 What is this guy, a freaking seven-year-old?

21:06 What are you talking about?

21:08 My juicy containers.

21:10 My juicy juices on the couch.

21:12 He's just laying on the couch squeezing juice boxes into his mouth and throwing them.

21:18 When my roommate got home, she had lost all patience with the bathroom and proceeded to find all the stuff he had hidden and started painting. I just didn't give a crap. I was annoyed with my boyfriend for having a significant amount of time to work on this and not getting it done. So I didn't stop her. Anyways, my roommate ended up posting a status update on Facebook about painting the bathroom and my boyfriend saw it and freaked out. He started texting both of us to F off, not to ask for help anymore, that he was betrayed.

21:46 And that I didn't listen to him about him wanting to finish his project.

21:49 It's not yours. Yeah. It's not yours. It's mine. It's my house.

21:53 Yeah, this guy is annoying.

21:55 It's simple. Go get... Hey, you know what you can do?

21:59 I've got a fun project for you. Get a job. Stop drinking juice boxes in my house. I was going to get around to it. I just had 200 more juice boxes to drink.

22:10 He seriously blew up. I told him and I meant it that I didn't anticipate him getting this upset about it. I thought he was joking because I don't see it as something to get into World War III over. So Friday night, there was a bunch of back and forth about him being super angry and it trickled into Saturday morning.

22:29 He then demanded that me and my roommate sand the paint that was put up and put the bathroom exactly the way it was before she started painting. Dude, what?

22:37 No.

22:39 How did this conversation go into a day later when it should have ended with you being like, that's great, let's end this?

22:47 I told him that... This was unreasonable and that we would need to compromise so we can move forward. That there is still a lot of work that needs to be done in the bathroom and she only got the first part done. So now we can move on to the second part. He said that he wasn't going to help me anymore. That he didn't want to come to my house anymore. Basically not to ask him to help out anymore because the answer would be no.

23:09 Okay.

23:10 Thank God. I mean, yeah. I didn't want you to help out anyway because the thing is, you don't help, you hinder. I haven't been able to use my bathroom in six weeks. Thanks for that.

23:21 I don't have my medicines. My medicines are taped up.

23:24 The conversation was done after that. Yesterday, my roommate and I decided to strip some paint on the bathroom trim because I want to repaint it and there's like 15 layers of paint on the trim. She once again posted something on Facebook because it was really cool seeing all the different colors the bathroom had been over the years.

23:41 Once again, my boyfriend flies off the handle. He said that things are worse now because after the conversation on Friday and Saturday, we both knew how important it was for him to finish his project and we betrayed him, disrespected him and hurt him. He said that it was obvious that I didn't listen to him and that my roommate could have worked on any other project in the house that needs attention. I told him that I couldn't turn back time and it is what it is, but we need a moving forward solution. I told him that this is a team effort. There is no my project in my home. No one was trying to be malicious and hurt him and that we would need to find a compromise. He said that the only compromise was to

24:19 put the entire bathroom back to the way it was before. And I told him that that wasn't reasonable because that's insane.

24:26 Oh my God.

24:28 This guy's 36. Reminder again, he's 36.

24:31 How bad were your previous boyfriends?

24:34 If this isn't like immediately like smell you later.

24:37 Yeah.

24:38 I also told him that he made it perfectly clear on Friday and Saturday that he didn't want to help anymore and he didn't want to come over anymore. And all he said was, and that is what you listen to.

24:48 That's like the same thing. You're just going to let me leave? You're just going to let me leave? I told you I'm leaving and you're going to let me leave? I told you I don't want to be here and you're going to let me not be here?

24:56 Why?

24:56 This poor, poor man. The conversation ended with both of us upset, talking in circles and a lot of repeating. He kept saying, you just don't get it. And what is wrong with you? This morning, I guess he texted my roommate about having fun finishing the bathroom alone. And my roommate responded that he had ample time to do it himself and didn't do it. So she will. And she is more than capable. It ended up with my boyfriend texting me that he will no longer come to my house. My roommate is there that she isn't to touch the bathroom anymore because she'll make it worse. And since she is just temporary, she'll move out soon. Why is he so obsessed with this bathroom?

25:34 And what are you going to do, like propose to him?

25:37 I told him that he was backing me into a corner with statements like this and ultimately making me choose between them, which is unfair and silly since it's over a bathroom, for crying out loud. He says it's more than just a bathroom. It's about principle now and he wants to finish it. That he wanted to do it for me because he wanted to show me how much he loves me. I ended it by saying that this situation is too much drama for me and I don't like being backed into a corner. What the heck, Reddit?

26:03 Where do I go from here? Am I entirely wrong and should be grovelling?

26:07 Yes.

26:07 Yes. Yes.

26:10 Yep.

26:11 You got it. How dare you? You've had the answer this whole time?

26:15 Is my boyfriend totally over the top about this? Help me move forward and do the right thing here. There's an update.

26:22 It sounds like you have the answer, dude. Come on. Just do it.

26:25 There's an update here. After my post, he was continuing to blow up my phone with stuff like, how could we do this to him? And that him painting my bathroom was supposed to be something special that he was giving to me. That he just wanted to see my face in such pride for something that he did for me. Dude, you're weird.

26:41 Also, if that's how you felt, why did it take you six weeks? And it didn't even take you six weeks. There was six weeks had gone by and you didn't do it.

26:49 Yeah, but I finally told him that I needed some space, that he had been blowing on my phone for days over this and I just needed time to think things through. He was very hesitant and agreed if I would give him the chance to talk to me on the phone, which I allowed.

27:05 What do you mean he agreed if you gave him the chance?

27:08 He doesn't have to agree to that. You get to, girly pop, you're a human being.

27:14 Whoa.

27:14 You have agency. Like, whoa, look at that.

27:17 No one told me to do this. I'm just wax on wax offing right now. Riley did.

27:21 I have a thing in my ear.

27:22 Riley tells me to do stuff, but that's besides the point.

27:26 All right.

27:27 This is what I would do if I did have agency.

27:29 Like, just freaking, is this the only guy in your town? Do you live in Amazonia? Like, is it just you, 7,000 women and one guy? Is this the only man in town? Is that why he's unemployed? All the women figured everything out, built a utopia. There's no job for him now. What are we doing?

27:49 I hate this man. I absolutely despise him. And also I want one of his juice boxes. I pretty much let it out and told him how ridiculous he was being, that this was about follow through. He did not give me space. Shocker. Within 24 hours, he was blowing up my phone via text and how I was pushing us apart and With space, and that space isn't what I needed.

28:12 That I needed to meet and talk about this. Oh, it's good that he knows what you need. And you know what you do? You know what you need? To get rid of this guy! Get rid of him! And you also need to finish your bathroom!

28:25 Oh.

28:26 He then told me something super sad.

28:29 That he ran out of juice boxes.

28:32 That's just like actually messed up.

28:34 He couldn't use the bathrooms when he peed in his pants.

28:37 Isn't it bad that I kind of hope it's messed up at this point?

28:39 I'm so over this guy.

28:40 All right. He then told me something super sad. That he had envisioned us painting the bathroom and overall splattering paint all over. And that he had envisioned the whole process to be utterly romantic.

28:52 This guy.

28:55 What is sad about that?

28:56 Is this guy Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Hyde? The whole time he's like, it was my bathroom to paint.

29:01 I was going to paint the bathroom.

29:03 The reason why it's sad to her is because she still loves him. And that's why it's sad. Because she was like, oh, that would have been an experience we would have had. Jeez. She's so enthralled by this dude.

29:12 How are you in love with this guy?

29:14 I would rather do, I think, anything else in the world than that.

29:17 But you're not in love with this man. It truly cannot be that good.

29:20 She is.

29:21 That's crazy.

29:22 Talking about vibes, go get yourself a vibe and replace this man with that.

29:27 Because there's no way it's that good. There's no way.

29:30 There's no way. That's so sad. There's no way. Then he told me something really sad.

29:35 Which, by the way, that was a lie he concocted to try to make you feel bad.

29:40 And I'm so annoyed that it worked.

29:45 I was completely floored by the comparison to some rom-com. He made an ultimatum, which I hate, but basically it was that I show up at a certain location in our city at a certain time. And if I show up, then we will be happy. And if I don't, then we will break up. What? Is this guy living in a movie? Like, did they sign a contract? It's like one day when they like meet up, you know, like that one day every year. He's like, if you, if you come to this location at this time. We will be together. If you don't show up, if you are one minute late, that's it. We're done. Like, what?

30:25 I would gather everyone I could who was aware of the situation, we would roll out to that spot together, and we would all go, loser! I'm breaking up with you, by the way, and I'm real happy about it. Have fun painting someone else's bathroom, which you probably won't do anyway, because you are a lazy juice muncher.

30:50 This is crazy.

30:54 It was some weird crap from a movie.

30:57 I chose to go only to see if there was anything left between us, if I felt anything, because I wasn't honestly sure how. OP, you're also sick in the mind. I don't know what's happening here, but my God, let him go.

31:10 Please.

31:11 OP, I want to transfer you $ 7 million. All I need is all your personal information, your social security, and the three numbers on the back of your mom's credit card.

31:23 But as soon as I got there, I was sure.

31:25 Oh no.

31:27 I walked around trying to find him and didn't see him, which was so relieving. I just didn't want him there. I took a picture of where I was sitting and texted it to him and waited 15 minutes and then I left. Just as I was getting into my car, he texted me that he was in the bathroom and that I needed to come back, which I did not do.

31:44 Why is he in the bathroom?

31:46 What bathroom?

31:47 Remember, he's in the park bathroom. Remember this, what we could have done? He's in his overalls or he's in his coveralls with all the paint on him and he just splatters her as she walks in.

31:57 He's just in the woods and he's going to the close up. He's just looking at her like this.

32:04 I'm like, what is with this guy? What's wrong with him? I told him that I was going home, and I lied. That I was already halfway home, so he would drop the issue. We spoke on and off for a few days, and I was just not feeling it anymore. Not feeling him anymore. It only took everything. I knew that I needed to break up with him. He asked me to meet him for a drink, and I said okay because I had the intention of breaking up with him. Girl, just break up with him over text.

32:35 He's done.

32:36 It doesn't even matter at this point.

32:37 Are these just like two lizards that became people and don't know what's going on?

32:42 One just wants to paint a bathroom.

32:45 One just wants to.

32:47 Well, once I turned into a human, I divorced my lizard husband. We were lizarding up in this old abandoned house, and my new human hands felt the urge to renovate.

33:03 Just the bathroom.

33:04 This is insane.

33:05 When I showed up, he was effing wasted like super wasted. I couldn't have a conversation with him wasted. I had my drink and he begged me to allow him to come over and I told him no, that I was going home alone. He started arguing with me in the bar and I just grabbed my stuff and went home. Now I live four blocks from the bar, and in the time it took me to get home, he had texted me 33 times and phoned me five times. He was saying stuff like he couldn't believe that I left, and he was begging me to let him come over.

33:35 I ended up muting my phone and going to bed. The next day, I woke up to 44 text messages and 15 missed phone calls, and I just realized- Then I am totally done. Like, done, done. He ended up texting me apologizing for the barrage of messages because he was wasted. And he didn't remember doing it and was mortified when looking through the messages. But it was too late.

33:57 And I really thought it through about how he has an obvious regular use to booze. Wow, so he has a drinking problem. Now, now she realized it. Blame it on the juice. How he couldn't start anything unless he was drinking. How every single issue we've ever encountered was because he was wasted. How when he is wasted, he can't hold down conversations. He becomes inappropriate. He was fired from his job for drinking on the job. And how he could never have one drink. And I'm talking 9 a.m.

34:30 to the grocery store type of stuff. To defend him for a second, he knew he had a drinking problem. He told me as much when we first started dating, but I didn't think it was this bad.

34:40 He literally lost his job over it.

34:43 I would like to just make a public announcement for anyone out there. If someone comes to you and says I have a drinking problem, believe them. And also... One, believe it. And two, just think I would just assume that it's the worst thing in the world because drinking problems really don't get better. You tolerate them. People like, you know, people get sober and stuff, but it's, you know, it always will come back. It's like it comes in waves, you know, and it's it's hard. It's hard to deal with that. I had filed his drinking into the potential problem.

35:18 We'll monitor category.

35:21 What?

35:21 Because some of the things he did were signs of heavy drinking, such as drinking doubles of whiskey at noon and pounding down an entire 12-pack of drinks in a night. I took the next few days and composed an email because then I could say what I needed to say and make sure I was saying it the way I wanted.

35:39 I told him that he had a drinking problem and that I would not be a part of it. That his actions and attitude while drinking were Jekyll and Hyde. And that I could not live like this. He had no sense of boundaries and blowing up my phone is ridiculous, unacceptable, and childish. I told him that he was a man-child who hated to hear the word no. And a bunch of other stuff. Yeah, I hate him. At least this is stupid.

36:05 I just want to workshop what was going on with her husband.

36:09 Maybe husband was a CIA agent. Husband was John Kiriakou.

36:15 I thought you were going to say John Curiosity.

36:17 Johnny Curiosity.

36:19 That's who I am.

36:20 I'm Johnny Curiosity right now.

36:22 Johnny Curiosity. Because I need to know how on earth you got to a point where you.

36:30 I mean, how much time went by? Like, a week?

36:32 Since, like, the first, like, you've betrayed me. Yeah.

36:40 Like, how, however much time went by is insanity.

36:46 I just, like, don't understand how anyone can actually, like, be patient and deal with this because I would be out as soon as he spoke. Like, if he came to me and was like, can I paint your bathroom? Okay, I guess not from there. I'd be like, oh, yeah, why?

36:59 I'm out as soon as he's unemployed, drinking all my apple juice on my couch all.

37:04 Day for six weeks. I'm out. I'm automatically out.

37:07 I'm out when I meet him, and he's like, yeah, I got a drinking problem, by the way.

37:13 Actually, I just lost my job.

37:16 Can I paint your bathroom? I really want to paint your bathroom.

37:19 Can I stay at your place? I mean, did that happen?

37:22 Did he lose his job after you guys started dating?

37:25 Like, I mean... All right, let's finish it up.

37:29 I broke up with him! Here it is.

37:32 I love, yeah, no one's even, we don't even have the energy to be happy about that.

37:36 It's unbelievable.

37:38 Here it is a week later and I am still getting a barrage of texts and Facebook messages about giving us another chance. How I've given up on us. How he'll change. He gave up drinking. He's a different person. He's trying to convince me to meet him for coffee to see if I feel a spark. He wants to follow through on the stuff he promised me and how he has learned his lesson. You know, all the right things.

37:59 I have not relented. I blocked him on all my accounts. On Friday, I will drop off the crap he left at my house, and that will be that. I deserve better than what he offered, so I'm going to take some time from dating and focus on myself, get some stuff done, figure out how to make grass grow in my backyard, and get my garden and chicken coop going. Oh, that's the end. Aw, yay.

38:20 I suggest going to therapy as well to figure out what on earth made you think this guy.

38:25 was worth any of your time at all, ever.

38:29 This guy's just like, he's hopeless.

38:32 I really thought she was going to be like, so I went to get coffee with him. Yeah, me too. So I went to get coffee.

38:37 To see if there's a spark. I'm like, girl, if there's a spark, it's you. Sparking, you're covered in gasoline. You're on fire now.

38:42 Stop, don't do that. Don't.

38:45 My guy, take a long walk off a short pier.

38:48 This is unbelievable.

38:51 And that's the end of the story. We're going to read the next one.

38:54 Hey, this is Riley, the host that can't really read that well. We're going to get back to the stories, but here's three minutes worth of ads from our sponsors.

39:00 I tried to pull back from babysitting, and I got cut off by my family.

39:04 You do a really good job.

39:06 In short, I agreed to help look after my cousin's child due to skyrocketing daycare costs as a temporary fix. I would give them one day a week. The understanding between me, my cousin, and his wife was that this was temporary. As stated, my cousin seems to have forgotten that part. He now expects me to be down there every week. Between drive time and waiting for his wife to get home and take over, that's an entire day where I do nothing but travel or babysit. I spend more hours a day watching his child than I do at my own part-time position with no compensation. He intends for me to keep this schedule clear to fall. As he signed up for multiple college courses and decided that to accommodate this schedule, I'll be there every week and

39:49 keep not only the toddler, but a newborn as well. At no point was I consulted about this idea. He's already signed up for courses and just sprung his plan on me the last time I was over. By the way, this comes from user throwaway sitter. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit.

40:05 I'm Keon.

40:06 I'm Riley.

40:07 And us two goofy goofballs are going to give our advice. We don't know everything. Us two only know so much, guys. So let us know what you do in the comments down below. From my perspective, I'm down to one day a week to myself. And I spend most of it just trying to recharge. I never leave the house now, except to go to work, get groceries, or... go to their house. Between extended hours at work and babysitting, I have no energy for any of my hobbies that help me decompress.

40:32 I am completely burnt out.

40:34 The thought of keeping that up for months is doing something to my mental health. I feel like I am just a means to an end, since when my cousin's wife gets home, I am rushed out of the house as she and the baby have somewhere to be. I feel like I'm being taken advantage of because I tried to help once, and I know that my relatives understood that it wasn't a long-term fix to their problem. At the same time, I understand my cousin and his family couldn't have expected the sudden hike in daycare cost. And I know they're struggling financially. So why did they get a new baby?

41:03 Those cost money.

41:04 Those cost money. Why do we get another one?

41:06 My cousin is trying very hard to get his degree and do better by his family while his wife works long hours to keep them afloat. I know they don't need added stress on top of everything else. which includes having a second child on the way. I've only held out this long because I love the kid I watch.

41:21 Recent events are actually why I made this post. I told my cousin that we'd have to see if I was available in the fall, which he seemed okay with. Afterwards, older relatives reached out to me about this conversation, urging me towards keeping up the current arrangement. This has frustrated me greatly. But I also wonder how much stock there is in the idea that I should suck it up because they have bigger problems than my being exhausted. So, Reddit, am I the a-hole for wanting to pull back from this arrangement? And we have a verdict. Obviously, it's not the a-hole. But what does OP do, Riley?

41:52 Oh, oh, oh, oh, Riley.

41:55 Honestly, at this point, if you love the kid, just adopt it. Adopt the kid. Have them pay for it. I don't even think they'd realize that their kid's gone. Just pick one. Don't pick two. Pick one of them.

42:04 I'll lessen the burden by taking 50%. No, no, no, don't do that.

42:08 Well, she said they were struggling financially. Just take one of the kids in.

42:11 That sounds like an ish you, not an ish me kind of thing. You know, that's your fault.

42:14 What do you want? What do you want? Do you want to say no?

42:17 You can't make your cake and eat it too at the same time, you know?

42:20 Just, I don't know, if you want to help him out, take the kid. If you really want to be somebody.

42:23 We have an update.

42:24 First, I want to thank the users here for giving me perspective. It became clear as I read comments that I was being taken advantage of. And while I feel for my cousin's problems, I am not responsible for and cannot fix them. Per the advice given, I confronted my cousin directly and tried to talk things out. I told my cousin that if I was going to keep up the arrangement through autumn, I wanted the summer off from babysitting.

42:46 I also said we should discuss compensation later. when he got home from class. Unfortunately, this made things worse. For the rest of the morning, I was dictated to ask what I could feed the kid, what tasks we could do, etc. It was apparent over a series of texts and calls that I was no longer a helper, but the help.

43:04 A joke about the toddler wanting a certain food got shot. down rudely to be honest ended up making me cry because it was so unexpectedly mean when i was just joking his wife visited for lunch and brought up that i wanted a break she demanded to know why And when I explained that I was stressed out at any time for myself, I was told that I was being unreasonable.

43:23 The wife's made it clear I can't be stressed out because I'm a single part-timer compared to her as a full-time worker that still has to come home and be a wife and a mother. I realized at that point that my cousin and his wife considered my time somehow less valuable than theirs. I have not been back since.

43:40 They have cut all contact with me for the time being. though other relatives have made it clear they think I blew things out of proportion and I am in the wrong. This has been extended to being left out from family events. I do miss the kid I babysit and I am hurt that she had a recent hospital stay as I was not told. It appears I am only allowed to be a part of her life so long as I go to her parents despite having taken care of her since She was months old and I've often provided for her financially. OB did nothing wrong. OB just said, I am burnt out. I am temporary help. And now she gets cut off from everything. What do we do, Riley?

44:17 If I found myself in this situation, you just gotta leave. Leave easy peasy. You're not getting compensated. You're just going to be losing contact with family members that just want to use you, which sucks not being able to see the kid. I get that.

44:31 Do you think we should ask the family like, hey, do you want to hear my side of the story? Or like, can I explain myself? Or they're just like, no, we don't.

44:38 But the way they've already treated her and gone about it. How do you think that's going to go down?

44:42 Exactly.

44:43 You're just a kid.

44:44 You don't know anything. That aside, there is a silver lining. With my newfound free time and desire to break the worst store home cycle, I adopted a rescue dog. Meet Kaladin Stormbark. He's helped me get out of the house and re-engage with the world. And that's done wonders for my mental health after the problems I had in my last post.

45:02 And that's where it ends now.

45:03 And I really just wanted to let those who had offered me help with my first post know how thankful I am for their insight and advice. I'll be the first to admit, I've got a weak spine. So it was game-changing to have a bunch of strangers reassure me and give me the desire to stand up for myself. Things might not have worked out this time, but I know ultimately confronting the problem and communicating was for the best.

45:25 Look at you, OP. Another lesson in adulthood. I'm so proud of you.

45:29 Good job.

45:30 Yeah, it does suck that everyone looks at you like a little kid and you don't know what you know, but.

45:35 Taking steps like this makes you a big adult.

45:37 Yeah, your spine's getting nice and strong. That is the end of that story, but we have another one coming right up.

45:43 My father demanded I attend a trip I already said.

45:47 No to months ago.

45:48 I'll say no again. I.

45:50 19 male, spent years in scouting. To be blunt, while I am an Eagle Scout, the experience was.

45:56 Hellish for me.

45:57 And the day I turned 18, I was done. I made it clear to my family from day one that I have zero intent of ever registering as an adult leader, volunteering, or participating in any scouting events again. My dad, however, decided to stay involved and take on running trips. He even opened his own troop. Recently, he planned a camp out for his group. He is a total novice when it comes to actual outdoor logistics, to the point where he and the other adults were planning to pack heavy cast iron skillets and stone gear for a backpacking setup, which later morphed into drive-up car camping because they didn't know what they were doing. I told them weeks ago I was not going. Despite this, he and my mom

46:38 have been trying to force me to go anyway. Every time I held my boundary, the goalposts moved and the manipulation tactics started flying.

46:46 I hate when that happens when they start flying.

46:48 Yeah, just walk.

46:49 They fly now.

46:50 By the way, this comes from Sunsteel. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash okay story time subreddit.

46:56 I'm Sophia.

46:57 I'm Keon.

46:58 And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do. So let us know what you would do in the comments. When I reiterated I wasn't registering as an adult, my dad tried to claim that if I can't commit to scouting, I must not have any intent to be truthful with him in life.

47:14 Where's the correlation in that sentence?

47:16 Yeah, what- You're a liar if you're not a Boy Scout, and I've always said that.

47:20 You're not an honest man if you can't be an Eagle Scout.

47:23 When I refused to go on the trip, he immediately pulled the victim card, whining that, We can't do this without ya. When I didn't fall for that, he resorted to vague threats, saying, Oh, I have many things I could also say to you.

47:36 Say it.

47:37 Say them.

47:38 Say it.

47:38 They then hit me with scouting's youth protection. Oh, they then hit me with scouting's youth protection rules, telling me that because I'm an unregistered 19 year old, I wouldn't be allowed to speak to any of the scouts on the trip, meaning they essentially want to force me to come along as a silent pack mule. When none of that worked, it turned into demanding.

47:58 I help pack.

47:59 All heavy boxes out of the garage and move cars around to get them ready. We've got a little bit left. This is so ridiculous.

48:06 Can you imagine, like, you could do this the hard way or the harder way? You could do it.

48:10 You could do it or you could do it. There is no other option.

48:13 One option, you're going to like it because you can talk to them. The other option is you can't speak a word.

48:19 Yeah, you have to be silent and also help us. And also, I know you don't want to go, but you have to.

48:24 I just say, hey, Dad, scout for another scout.

48:27 Yeah, like, go find someone else, buddy.

48:30 Maybe you should have learned all of this stuff that you forced me to learn.

48:33 Well, we got a little bit left.

48:35 My dad does have some back pain right now, so I offered basic help at home, lifting a couple of heavy items so he wouldn't physically hurt himself.

48:41 In the garage.

48:42 Is it real back pain?

48:43 Yeah, he's like, oh, my back. But I drew the line at being dragged into prepping for or attending an event I explicitly opted out.

48:54 Of months ago. Now my parents are furious.

48:57 They're claiming that if the trip falls apart or if they can't manage the gear, it's entirely my fault for being selfish and unsupportive. And that I'm ruining things for everyone. My take is that if you willingly take on a project you lack the ability to pull off without forcing an unwilling third party to.

49:13 Bail you out, that's on you.

49:15 Yes.

49:16 Indeed it is.

49:17 Am I the a-hole for holding my boundary and reflecting? to help run or attend his scouting trip? Absolutely not.

49:24 That's ridiculous.

49:25 Especially the way he went about it.

49:28 Yeah.

49:28 If he went a little bit more, can you please do this? If anything, not doing it for me, do it for the kids. But he was like, I can say meaner things to you and I can use this against you.

49:39 And that's the end of this story. We're going to read the next one.

49:42 Hey, it's Angie, your favorite fake redhead host here.

49:46 And we're going to get back to the stories.

49:48 But here's a three minute ad break from our sponsors.

49:51 My sister gossiped about my dating history behind my back. Not very XOXO gossip, girl. I, 37 female, have one daughter, eight female. Jenny from my ex-boyfriend, 36 Mal. My ex-boyfriend was a man-child who I stuck myself with for three years because I was convinced he would magically grow up someday as long as I helped him. I'll be honest, I've definitely had a bad taste in men when I was younger. I became pregnant and two months after giving birth, he walked out. He claimed he couldn't take the stress of fatherhood. He didn't want any custody and now pays child support, surprisingly, without complaint. My sister, 41 female, has been my biggest supporter. She has a wonderful husband who she's dated since high school and they now have four kids.

50:40 Something that was pretty common was when we were in our teens and 20s, I'd date jerks. I'd run to her whenever they did something stupid or hurtful. By the way, this comes from throwaway00. And if you want to send your own stories, go to the r slash OK story time subreddit. I'm Riley.

50:55 I'm Keon.

50:56 And we're going to read this goofily. If you guys have anything you'd like to add, please add it down below because we're not taking this serious. Of course, she did tell me to break up with them. But my stupid younger self always ran back. She got pretty frustrated, but would still comfort me. Believe me, I'm not proud and have certainly matured since my daughter was born. A couple of times she would introduce me to some actually very nice guys. I even went on a couple of dates.

51:20 But for some reason, I only felt attracted to rude a-holes with crappy haircuts. Please don't ask what was going through my head. I literally have no idea. I still feel embarrassed. thinking about it. My sis and her husband got married pretty young, so they couldn't afford a nice honeymoon. Now they've been saving for years and finally booked a two-week stay in some tropical resort. She's very happy. One of her kids is in and out of state college.

51:47 so she didn't want to ask him to watch his siblings along with attending school. Plus, they aren't exactly rich and can't afford a long-term stay nanny or whatever. I agreed to watch the other kids. They're not toddlers or brats. They're well-behaved, so it's no big deal to me. I was happy to do it. After my daughter. I went out with one or two guys, but nothing serious. Recently, I met this really nice guy at my work. It was actually my sister who introduced him to me. We all work in the same huge office building, just different departments. Keon, do you think this is going to last?

52:21 He doesn't have the crappy haircut, or he's an a-hole. I hope it lasts, but OP, I don't think you've learned your lesson. I think you have a taste in bad men. That's what you're used to, and you like it. You don't find them boring.

52:33 Ugh.

52:33 We had some shared hobbies and started talking during our breaks. We didn't really spend more than 10 minutes together at a time. He finally asked me on a date. Strangely enough, after about 30 minutes, I couldn't stop sneezing. At first, I just thought it was an allergy season. We went out a couple of more times after that, and the same thing happened.

52:52 My gosh, OP is allergic to nice guys.

52:55 Oh my gosh, you might be right.

52:56 It makes sense.

52:58 I'm allergic to guys with good haircuts because of their product they use. Once, I accidentally took his jacket home. My daughter got sick too. I feel pretty stupid for not asking earlier, but he mentioned how he has four cats who he loves.

53:11 How has that not been brought up? And also, when you're around him, you're sneezing incredibly a lot. I would be like, okay, it's either allergy season or you have cats.

53:20 Yeah, pets are mentioned within the first date.

53:22 Oh yeah, do you have any kids? No, but I have fur babies.

53:25 Both me and my daughter are severely allergic to cats. Even when he was wearing fresh clothes, it didn't help that much. Finally, after a month, I broke up with him. He offered that we could try a few different things like prescription allergy pills or something. I apologized and just said it's better if we both go our own ways.

53:42 I feel awful, but the experience taught me that even though I enjoyed our time together, I wasn't so invested in this relationship anymore. that I'd go through the trouble to research difficult remedies or put my daughter in danger. I felt that it was best to break it off soon before we got too serious. He seemed sad, but said he understood. We parted on good terms. My sister seemed a bit miffed and didn't say much. Only a couple days ago, I heard her going on about me.

54:08 I got off work early that day, which she knew. I realized I forgot something and came back. While I was at it, I decided to walk around my sister's department to pick up another file and say hello. Door to the break room was open and I could hear a small group of women talking. My sis was saying how ridiculous it is that I keep rejecting good men For stupid reasons. That the fact my daughter has no father is my fault and I should be embarrassed. She made some joke about me being an attention seeker who spreads my legs for any man I know won't respect me.

54:39 I haven't done anything like that in years. I was shocked and extremely hurt. I stormed out and texted her that I will no longer babysit her kids for the vacation.

54:50 I mean, that's okay. You can do that too.

54:52 That's an a-hole move.

54:53 No, I mean.

54:54 That's an a-hole move.

54:55 I feel like sister had this conversation with you.

54:59 I don't think so. So she continues. She got desperate and kept apologizing and begging to talk. I've just been ignoring her. My mom said that she was very wrong, but it's not fair to ruin her second honeymoon she's been waiting for for so long. Mom is very old and currently has lung terminal illness. She's in no state to babysit anyone's kids. Some of my friends mentioned that my sister did deal with my a-hole exes for a long time. and frustrating amount of time.

55:26 Yeah, especially when she's telling you stop going for these guys, and then you always come back crying to her.

55:31 I should cut her some slack. She has really helped me in the past. The honeymoon starts the day after tomorrow, and I've heard she still can't find a good babysitter she could afford. I'm starting to feel bad because she seems so desperate and sad. Am I the a-hole? And just to clarify, we do work in the same company.

55:48 We have an update. Yes, you're the a-hole.

55:50 I think you're the a-hole. You committed to this. Yeah, what she said was mean. She shouldn't be gossiping about you like that. She should have said it to your face.

55:58 Dude, when you love someone, And they keep making bad decisions. Time, time, time, time, time, time, time. Again, and we all know who that person is. We all are thinking about them. And they keep doing it even though they come to you. And gosh, they come on their knees begging for advice. And you meet them. You go to them on the ground. And you meet them where they are. And you say, hey, I see where you're coming from. I'm here with you. And guess what?

56:24 They fail it's like the boy who cried wolf like a good example oh my gosh yes and you're like yeah I'm not gonna listen to you or like it's the other way around it's like yeah I'm not gonna hear your cries and.

56:33 It's not like the sister is she's always meeting her with unconditional love.

56:37 But yeah she's the one OP sister is helping her yeah set her up with good guys yeah and.

56:44 It makes sense why she feels this way and op you have been working for years it does suck.

56:48 She hypes you up to these guys oh i have my sister's great oh my god my sister's great and she probably gets let down like not by just you but like she's letting these other people down like she's hyping you up she's put enough energy and time to be like trying to convince these guys to take.

57:01 You on a date and you let her down you embarrass her.

57:04 Agreed i think you should put your pride aside and stick around i haven't gotten back to my old dating habits for years now I got a good professional therapist around six years ago. She's really helped me work through my issues that caused me to act like that. About a year into therapy, I sat down with my sister and apologized for always dumping my issues onto her and then proceeding to not follow her advice. We even had a therapy session together where she said she forgave me.

57:31 I thought it brought us a lot closer. I asked her several times about it during the next few years. And she just said she had moved on and it was fine. I'm not angry about how she feels. She's entitled to her emotions. I just wish that she had discussed it with me or at least tried to explain how she felt. I love her a lot and would have been happy to have a heart to heart. I'm just very hurt that she gossiped and insulted me to our co-workers, most of whom don't even know me personally that well. Plus, the way she put it made it sound like I was doing that crap when she knows dang well that was years ago. I know I'm not perfect, but that crossed the line. He says, I do regret lashing out the way I did now that I've cooled down,

58:14 though I'm still furious at her.

58:17 Sure, fair.

58:17 Okay, have a conversation when she gets back from her honeymoon.

58:20 This isn't something, please don't ruin her honeymoon. Oh my gosh. At the end of the day, she's still my sister, no matter how hurt I feel. And I want to work through this And at least try and stay in each other's lives. I'll post an update later once things have calmed down. I've decided to babysit the kids.

58:39 Yes!

58:40 Good.

58:41 Babysit the kids.

58:42 Have a very adult conversation with your sister. When she's back from her honeymoon.

58:46 When she's back. My brother-in-law and her have planned this trip for literal years. So, I believe they definitely earned it. I love my niece and nephews and planned a few fun activities for us. Anyways, that I don't want to miss. It's for them.

58:59 Not her.

58:59 I guess it's good she'll be gone for the next couple of weeks soon. I'll have time to get my thoughts together and in order and figure out how to express what I want to say.

59:08 Yeah.

59:09 Ah, this is just sick. sibling thing truly yeah like Your sister was the tissue box.

59:15 Your sister was the, you know, the emotional punching bag. And she's like, oh, why won't she have that heart-to-heart to me?

59:24 OP.

59:25 She's probably had that heart-to-heart with you so many times.

59:28 Yeah, right.

59:29 And all you did was break her heart by doing the complete opposite.

59:33 Dude, imagine talking to your friend for three hours for two weeks straight at night and just never take your advice. It's stuff like that, dude.

59:41 Yeah, it would piss me off.

59:42 Dude, I've had so many frustrating conversations with my friends that just won't get their head out of their butts.

59:48 Yeah.

59:48 It's just like, bro, come on.

59:50 And that's the end of this story.