My DJ CANCELED the day before my wedding, because he was on the run! -r/weddingshaming | Reddit Stories | EP3125

0:00 Hey, this is Riley.

0:01 And this is Keon, your favorite OK Storytime host, and we've got some great stories coming up.

0:06 But before we get.

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0:11 My DJ canceled the day before my wedding because he was on the run.

0:16 Oh no.

0:17 My now husband and I got married on September 6th. It was a beautiful ceremony and one of the best days of my life. But there was one little snag of hiring a bad DJ. I figured it might make for a good story here, so please enjoy it. And spoiler alert, there is a happy ending. We hired a DJ who we met in 2022 at my now brother-in-law's wedding.

0:38 He did a great job and was communicative and showed up on time, followed their request and was overall just a great vendor for them to work with. It was almost a no brainer that my now husband and I would hire the same DJ as his rates were good and we had seen his job performance before and he had a good reference. We hired him and paid in full nine months in advance. Two weeks before the wedding, he is texting my now husband confirming all the details.

1:05 He asks about lighting configurations and outlets at the venue, parking for the trailer. He's acting totally normal. And my now husband and I think everything's fine. We have no reason to believe otherwise. And by the way, this story comes from JustThrowAway67. If you want to submit your own stories, go to our subreddit.

1:22 I'm Dakota.

1:23 I'm Keon.

1:24 And we have a very special guest returning back. Can you go ahead and introduce yourself?

1:28 Yes.

1:29 It's the man in the purple suit, Jonathan Mollo.

1:31 Yes.

1:31 Thank you so much for having me back. I'm so grateful.

1:33 Oh.

1:34 Yes.

1:34 We are glad to have you back.

1:36 Let's go.

1:36 But we've got a little more story here.

1:39 The day before our wedding, we're confirming final details and calling people to make sure they know where to go and what to do and making all our final.

1:46 Contacts to our vendors.

1:48 My husband gets a text at 9 in the morning the day before our wedding that our DJ is afraid to come to our state due to threats made against his person.

1:59 Oh.

2:00 Weird. What?

2:01 What?

2:02 I mean, I feel like.

2:04 Magicians would have to deal with that from like really like traditional people who believe like magic is evil.

2:10 Oh, we're the devil.

2:11 And they're like, if you bring your magic around my family, it'll be the worst thing you do.

2:16 Yes. But you already paid your deposit. So.

2:20 Exactly.

2:21 Nine months in advance. This guy got paid. That's crazy.

2:24 Crazy.

2:25 The DJ sends a long text telling my husband about his worries about his health and safety and the unfairness of the situation and how a refund would be coming if we'd like.

2:36 Well, at least he's giving you the option to get your money back.

2:38 Hmm.

2:39 OK, so now it's a little over 24 hours before we walk down the aisle. So we are both freaking out. My husband called the DJ and he admits that instead of the mafia being after him, which that was our initial thought, he's actually wanted on felony charges in our state and has an active arrest warrant.

2:58 Oh, my gosh.

2:59 The DJ assures us that these are nonviolent crimes and we tell him we're going to have to call him back. So we look him up in our state's open records, and we find that it is mostly petty charges. Driving without insurance multiple times since 2023 and unpaid speeding tickets. But then comes the bigger charge.

3:20 Possession of the devil's leaf.

3:24 Yeah.

3:24 The green leaf.

3:25 Oh, no.

3:26 Come on.

3:28 Not a lot was found in his car based on the level of misdemeanor, but then he takes it a step further, and two months before our wedding... decides to jump his bail and flee the state.

3:39 Let's go.

3:39 Oh, it's not good.

3:41 It's not good.

3:43 You know, it's a gray area in life when you run away from the.

3:47 I mean.

3:48 Come on. Who's getting charged for that in 2026?

3:50 Who's getting charged?

3:52 I feel like.

3:54 I mean, I thought... Come on!

3:55 I was expecting, like, you know, the movie Now You See Me. You know, with magicians stealing, like.

3:59 Which is a horrible movie.

4:00 It's a horrible movie. But I guess my question is, he knew this information before he got hired.

4:09 Yeah, I guess so.

4:10 Yeah, and he... Does it say he gave back their money, their refund?

4:15 So, yeah, he did offer them a refund.

4:16 So it looks like two months before the wedding happened is when he, like, jumped ship and left.

4:23 So I guess they paid in advance, like, way before that.

4:26 Interesting.

4:28 He's a good guy.

4:28 He's literally like, I'll just give you your money back, dude. I'm just not going back there.

4:31 They're going to arrest me.

4:33 He seems a little shady to me, just a little bit. Just a little.

4:36 Pay your car insurance, dude.

4:38 Yeah.

4:39 That's the thing I'm most hooked on. I'm like, are you serious? So if you crash into me, what? I'm just on the hook now? This guy.

4:46 You know what? Perspective. I love it.

4:48 So he is now just taking a misdemeanor. to a felony by crossing state lines.

4:53 Oh, sheesh.

4:54 And he now has an active arrest warrant out for him. We were both very upset at this point. This DJ knows the industry and knows how hard it is to find a replacement short term, and he's known for months that he's not able to enter our state legally.

5:06 Say, apology.

5:07 Now, I do just want to point out, OP, I think this guy's got more important things to deal with on his plate right now than like, oh, I'm inconveniencing these guys.

5:19 He's like, I'm trying not to go to prison.

5:21 Yes, I agree with you, but the thing is he knew. He knew already, and that's kind of what I do. I deceive, and he deceived these people, even though I'm wondering if he would really give them money back. It seems like he's a dishonest person.

5:40 I feel like he probably wouldn't give it all back. He'd be like, oh, well, it says right here there's a nonrefundable deposit. It's like, dude, I'm going to call the feds and get you arrested.

5:49 Exactly.

5:51 Yeah. Interesting.

5:52 Yeah, that is true. Just a week, even a week, like two weeks before.

5:56 Yeah.

5:57 A day before, it's like impossible.

5:59 Listen.

6:00 You're right.

6:01 Modern day DJs, very easy. Give me my phone. Give me the speaker.

6:06 We're good. Exactly.

6:08 Yeah, you could run that.

6:10 You're going to get a lot of hate mail from the DJs out there. They're going to be like, what?

6:13 You're going to say, stop telling them our secrets.

6:15 Yes, there you go.

6:17 All right, cha-cha slide, queued up.

6:18 We're good. There you go. Hey, that's a Filipino thing.

6:21 Cha-cha slide for five hours.

6:23 There you go.

6:24 So, Hattie told us earlier we could have prepared better. And these are the consequences of his own actions. Warrants don't just pop up out of nowhere. Usually. It's not like someone forced him to jump bail or forced him to not tell us earlier than nine in the morning the day before we get married. We call him back and his first solution is this. His sister will drive him and his equipment over the state line in the late afternoon on Friday so he can perform the work laid out in the contract.

6:52 Wow.

6:53 Now you're implicating your sister?

6:54 That's so crazy.

6:55 It's a family business.

6:56 It is a family business, yes.

6:59 Family conspiracy.

7:00 Oh.

7:01 And he can't check into a hotel due to his warrant, so he'll just sleep in the woods behind the venue.

7:07 Oh, he has a plan. I love the plan. He's an outdoorsy kind of guy.

7:11 I just want to get a little fresh air. I love the smell of freedom.

7:16 Oh, yeah.

7:17 Me too.

7:17 Me too.

7:18 Then, the next morning, he'll wake up. And do the whole DJ thing. He also offers that he'd be more than happy to stay with us at our home.

7:27 I'll be more than happy to stay in your house.

7:29 What a sweet guy. This guy is losing it. He's at this point. Maybe I'll stay at your place.

7:38 I need his number. I'm going to hire him for my next event.

7:40 Honestly, this guy seems like he can commit to the bit, honestly.

7:43 Got to commit to the bit.

7:45 Yeah, I think you're right.

7:46 Since he doesn't have a valid license and is running from the law, he can't drive himself home. So he plans on just having my now husband just bring him back over the state line, essentially the crime of aiding and abetting. He assures us this is a great plan. And the pressure is building on our end.

8:05 He's a salesman.

8:06 Yes.

8:06 I think he's a liar, to be honest with you.

8:08 Oh, 100%.

8:08 But, you know, again, like I said, he's committing to the bid. This guy's saying, no, I can do this for you. You go and do this for me. I'm doing this for you.

8:17 He's like, I will.

8:18 Risk my life and limb for you. There's not, this guy's going to go out. You're going to release this man into the woods and never see him again.

8:25 Well, don't tell me there's more to this story. Is there more to this story?

8:28 There is a little more. Oh my gosh.

8:30 We got to find out what they did. I got to assume they did not go with this guy.

8:34 I'm sure they didn't.

8:35 So.

8:37 It is now noon, the day before our wedding, and we start making frantic calls to family and friends to see who might have equipment or knowledge about how.

8:44 To run said equipment.

8:46 My husband calls his best friend since middle school, and he has a friend who has the full DJ setup with speakers and lights. My husband was worried that the original DJ wouldn't get our taste in music right, so he's already built the perfect playlist for our wedding. So it's essentially just plug and play from this point forward. Easy.

9:03 What I say.

9:04 Easy.

9:04 Yes.

9:05 Easy.

9:05 Why aren't you guys even hiring a DJ?

9:07 I'm a modern day DJ. You should hire a magician.

9:09 That's what you should hire.

9:10 Yes.

9:11 Magician.

9:12 100%.

9:12 It's a DJ for your brain.

9:14 I'm going to trademark that.

9:16 You got it.

9:17 Thank you.

9:17 Yes, you're welcome.

9:18 I'm going to write it down.

9:19 At the end of the day, we saved by having great friends and the power of friendship has won again. We'll be getting our refund around Christmas, but if we don't, then we're just out the money.

9:30 Mm-hmm.

9:31 Obviously, the DJ doesn't show up for court, so there's no point in doing small claims court. We had the suggestion made to call him to our state and have him arrested by local law enforcement, but we decided against that as it's not the kind of entertainment we want at our wedding.

9:47 We had a song called Degenerates.

9:49 On our wedding playlist, and we asked our new and improved DJ with no active warrants to make a quick announcement that this song.

9:55 Was dedicated to our DJ. Our old DJ.

9:59 Overall, we.

10:00 what do you guys think? And that is the end of that. I do think he should have told you once he fleed the state.

10:05 He should have told them when he got hired. He knew. He knew.

10:11 Maybe he thought he was going to like, you know, it's like, ah, that'll take care of itself. At the point you're running from the state, you need to let.

10:18 The people in your calendar know.

10:21 No, hey, I won't be here for that unless you want to have your wedding somewhere else.

10:26 No, you're right.

10:26 If you if you come to me. Exactly. And that's what it's all about.

10:31 It just seems like not a good regardless. Well, so this is what my my my wife always tells me. She tells me say less. And I think. The DJ said more than what they needed to know.

10:43 Yeah, that is true.

10:45 You could have just been like, I'm completely unavailable.

10:48 I'm so sorry. This just can't happen. You wanted to tell a story. I'll refund you.

10:52 Doesn't that matter?

10:53 He thought being like, I'm a felon.

10:55 Yeah.

10:56 You understand, right? You'll be cool.

10:58 I'll give you your money back probably.

11:00 I'm cool with that. I like a story.

11:01 I do like the say less is a good.

11:04 Write it down, everybody.

11:05 Can be a good technique.

11:06 Yeah.

11:07 And that's the end of this story. Let's head to the next one.

11:11 My pushy relative kept begging me to attend my wedding, even though I kept on saying no.

11:17 Oh, okay. No means no.

11:20 I had a very small destination wedding about 10 hours from my hometown, but only two hours from a fairly major city, which is where most of the guests flew into. It's also where my dad's cousin and her husband live. This woman is one of the most insufferable, outspoken, overbearing people I have ever met in my life. And I wouldn't have wanted her at my wedding even if it had been a much larger wedding with a much, much larger guest list. She pestered my parents relentlessly about coming to the wedding.

11:51 To which the.

11:52 Reply was always, sorry, we're not allowed to have more than X number of people on the property, including the photographers and caterers and blah, blah, blah. And we just cannot facilitate any more guests. Oh. We should have known then how desperate she was to come, but figured it would eventually sink in that she would not be attending no matter how much she begged. And by the way, this comes from user Elfireme. And if you want to submit your own stories, you go to our subreddit.

12:18 I'm Dakota.

12:19 I'm Keon.

12:20 And we have a special guest here returning. Could you go ahead and introduce yourself and let the people know who you are?

12:25 Yes.

12:26 It's the man in the purple suit, Jonathan Mollo. Thank you so much for having me again.

12:29 Thank you for being here, Jonathan. We are excited.

12:32 And OP says, Months later, my mom and I drove into the town where the wedding would be two days prior to begin preparations. As a compromise of sorts, we told this cousin that we would meet her and her husband for dinner and catch up if they wanted to make the drive over to the evening we arrived, which was.

12:49 A big mistake.

12:52 Oh, no.

12:53 They very much did want to drive over and meet us for dinner, so we grabbed a bite with them and tried to part ways, only to be told that totally spontaneously, and not at all with an agenda, that they went ahead and booked a hotel and just decided.

13:09 To make a weekend getaway out of it.

13:12 Ah.

13:12 Mmm.

13:13 Somebody doesn't have boundaries, it sounds.

13:15 Yes, no boundaries and definitely no motives beyond having a fun weekend doing stuff that doesn't involve going to our wedding. Dad's cousin once again tried to force her way into getting a wedding invite for herself and her husband, and we reiterated that she could not attend. We parted ways and I hoped... That might be the end of it, if only that had been the case. The next morning, my family and the bridal party start arriving. My mom and I left our hotel to walk around town and then meet up with my brother and his family, who I had not seen in about a year and was beyond excited to reunite with.

13:53 Moments before their arrival, who comes strolling up? Yeah, dad's cousin.

13:58 Wow.

14:00 Who has immediately inserted herself into the reunion with my family and interjecting herself so loudly the entire time. It just absolutely ruined an otherwise sweet and wonderful moment. We said our goodbyes to her, but instead, she decides to attach herself to us and followed us everywhere the entire rest of the morning and afternoon, forcing herself into every subsequent reunion and festivity.

14:26 Hey, I have a question for you, O.P., Why don't you tell her?

14:30 No.

14:31 Like, why don't you just say, leave, leave me alone. This is why you're not invited. Look at what you're doing.

14:37 This sounds like a Filipino family. It really does. It really does. It sounds like one of my aunties.

14:43 Yeah.

14:43 And, uh, you, you were always taught to like, um, this is my mom. Sorry, mom. Uh, Jonathan, just respect your elders. Mano po. Yeah, opo mom. Yeah, you just kind of like, yeah, just let them do it because they're older than you. Are you Filipino, OP?

15:00 Are you?

15:00 Who knows?

15:01 We caught you, OP.

15:02 There's always a lot of stories where you go, they're Filipino.

15:05 Yeah, yeah.

15:05 Like they haven't said it, but come on. They have to be.

15:09 Yeah, because we'll do the passive aggressive thing. That's what we love to do. So we'll just like, you know, at that wedding, we would just, yeah. Be passive aggressive. Not wanting them to be there.

15:19 And we want to have a special thanks to our auntie here who somehow made her way into the wedding despite not being invited at any point.

15:28 Look at her go.

15:29 Jonathan knows this. We love to be dramatic.

15:32 Oh, yes.

15:33 Yes.

15:33 It's like a K-drama or a Filipino drama.

15:38 It's what we love to do. That's why I became a magician. I love the drama.

15:44 Dude, there is a lot of drama in the magic. Oh, yeah. It does.

15:48 Yes.

15:49 So, the worst moment that finally pushed me over the edge came during a late lunch. We had been walking around all day, and I was getting tired and hungry and crabby. So, my sister-in-law, bridesmaids, and I found an adorable little taco place with a beautiful patio. and decided to grab a bite to eat outside. She followed us in and sat right down with us and then proceeded to comment on every single thing I did for the entire meal.

16:18 What do you mean by every single thing you did? Like, oh, she's putting it in her mouth. Oh, she's chewing.

16:22 Oh, she's swallowing.

16:24 You go, what?

16:25 It's a Filipino idea. I can guarantee it. It's Filipino.

16:28 The two comments that still stick out were, you're sure going to be a beautiful lobster with the sunburn you're going to get eating outside like this as we sat fully shaded under two giant umbrellas. And after I ordered two street tacos, I guess making sure you fit into your dress never occurred to you if you're going to be eating.

16:51 All of that. At this point.

16:54 My blood was boiling and I was genuinely becoming convinced she was showing up at my wedding the next day one way or another, no matter what we told her. So I stood up after paying and told her it was going to be bridal party only from that point forward. And we booked it, leaving her behind. It would be so great if that were the end.

17:15 Oh, no.

17:15 But she and her husband genuinely did show up at the venue that evening with gifts in hand moments before the rehearsal dinner started.

17:23 They were fully dressed and ready to be a part of the event.

17:27 What is going through their minds?

17:28 Like, they have to be so delusional, right? The self-embarrassment I would have... After having it been made so clear, like, I shouldn't be here.

17:37 And then just showing up with gifts, dressed to the nines.

17:40 You need to tell me the person who was told no numerous times actually showed up, got there somehow, some way, is saying, yeah, you know what? We won't go full 100. We'll just take it easy. We won't come up and, you know.

17:53 It's a lack of boundaries. They don't care. It's the lack of boundaries. Some people just don't have that sense. It really is. It's a lack of boundaries. That's all it was.

18:02 Yeah, maybe they're thinking like, well, it's the rehearsal dinner.

18:04 It's not the wedding.

18:05 Yeah.

18:06 We thought we'd just show up to the rehearsal dinner. And then if it went well, you could let us come tomorrow.

18:12 Say it in a Filipino accent. I think that's a little bit more accurate.

18:15 So she went around to every single person there, telling them about how much it would.

18:22 Mean to her to be there at the wedding.

18:24 And said no less than ten times, I promise I don't even have to be in the room. I would be more than happy to stand outside looking through the windows if I could only just watch.

18:35 Oh.

18:35 Jeez Louise.

18:37 What do you see?

18:38 What do you even.

18:38 Say to that?

18:39 Please tell me... Please tell me. At this point, what are they going to do? Like a Mission Impossible style break into the wedding? Like they're going to rappel down from the roof?

18:51 That would be awesome. A little show. They got gifts. Did you hear they got gifts still?

18:56 Yeah, they're bringing more gifts. Oh, my God.

19:00 That's crazy.

19:01 So finally, God bless him.

19:03 My very confrontational and authoritative brother stepped in and reminded her in no uncertain terms that she was not invited and would not be showing up. She finally left, and thankfully we did not hear from her again that weekend.

19:18 We did it. Thank you, brother. Thank you, confrontational brother.

19:22 There we go.

19:23 She did, however, show up at my house years later while visiting other family in town because she knew I had had my son recently and she just had to meet him.

19:33 Then the very next.

19:33 Day texted us to tell us she had tested positive for the vid that night. Oh, no.

19:40 What?

19:40 She knew what she was doing.

19:42 What a twist.

19:43 She keeps getting worse and worse.

19:46 Who is this person?

19:47 I have not seen her since and really, really don't.

19:50 Want to see her again, although she has a knack for popping up no matter how hard you try to avoid her.

19:55 And that's the end of that.

19:56 Well, I wish you the best of luck in continuing to avoid her. That's for sure.

20:00 Wow.

20:01 Oh, that's... This is... I didn't know this episode was a horror story episode.

20:06 Yeah, apparently this is just.

20:08 yeah felonious djs and horrific filipino auntie yes auntie auntie.

20:14 No but but seriously like uh this is they make movies about this like you know like just sudden the the the auntie comes out of the the shadows and uninvited in different.

20:28 Situations who oh god who was the actress it wasn't I don't think it was Octavia Spencer. There was some movie they made a while ago called, like, Ma. It is Octavia Spencer. And it was, basically, the concept of the movie is, like, some, like, lonely woman, like, just starts to, like, throw parties for, like, kids.

20:47 What?

20:49 For, like, high schoolers so they can get, like, messed up and stuff. And she, like, just, like, loses her mind and is, like, it's like a Norman Bates, like, psycho.

20:58 Type of, like, situation. She's, like, trying to, like, like, you know, bury these kids in the woods or something. I don't know, like... That's very aggressive, isn't it? Yeah.

21:07 And just because she wanted to be cool. And it was once they stopped, they were like, actually, you're weird, and we're done.

21:12 Letting you throw parties for us. That's when she, like, loses it. Yeah, she was crazy.

21:17 That's scary. All right, now I'm going to have nightmares because of this episode.

21:20 Thank you, guys.

21:22 It's the nightmare episode.

21:23 Oh, my goodness.

21:23 With Jonathan Moeller.

21:24 Oh, yes.

21:25 And that's the end of this story. Let's head to the next one.

21:29 My client tried to scam me months after I gave her my service. I am currently finishing up a commission of hand-painted wedding signs for a friend of a friend. So far, the bride-to-be has been super lovely and very understanding of some issues faced along the way. As a background, I'm really good at what I do, but I am not a trained professional.

21:56 I am very open and honest with this.

21:58 I also suffer from nerve damage in my upper back, neck, and left shoulder, plus frequently get RSI. So, small tiny text in print style font can be difficult to accomplish. Something I'm also honest about, if you want a print style text, it will not be 100% perfect and look like it has been printed anyway. A few years ago, I was commissioned by a coworker to paint two large.

22:23 Signs for their daughter's wedding. She wanted print-only text.

22:28 I explained how it wouldn't really be 100% perfect, but she said she was fine with that and that it would give a handmade feel. About 35 hours later, and a lot of physical pain, the signs are completed. She's happy with them, and she's gushing over them when I deliver them in person. The signs were completed, delivered, and paid for, which was $ 200, including the canvases and paint, with two months left until the wedding. The big day comes and goes. I see photos from my coworker. The signs looked beautiful, as did the whole day. Then about six weeks.

23:02 Later, I get a message from the new bride saying, stating she had noticed imperfections in the signs, some of the letters being slightly uneven or bigger than others, and she agreed it wasn't too noticeable, but others had apparently commented on it, and she was requesting a partial refund of $ 100.

23:20 Has anyone ever done that with you, Jonathan?

23:21 Yeah.

23:22 Oh, ask for a refund?

23:23 Or like a partial refund?

23:24 I actually knew where that card was the whole time, so I'd.

23:27 Like a little bit of money back.

23:30 No, they haven't.

23:31 I think the closest that I've gotten is just circumstances. For example, if their event canceled or something, they would ask for a refund. But I think just as long as I blew their mind, you know.

23:47 Yeah, that's good. You're doing the magic good enough. No one's asking for it.

23:50 Yeah, I do offer 100% money back guarantee. So, you know, you know. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

23:57 Magic, you just do it and it's like a puff of smoke and it's just back in your hands. Okay, don't tell them the tricks, bro. They're like, that was so impressive. You can actually just keep the money.

24:04 Yes.

24:05 That was.

24:06 No, I need the money. I do this for a living.

24:09 So I explained that to give her a refund meant that I'd only be paid $ 30 for my work. $ 30 for 35 hours of work and physical pain. She had two months to tell me she was unhappy, but didn't. And that she herself loved the signs. I also reminded her of our earlier communication. Because of the style of the font she chose, it would not be perfect.

24:34 And she was made aware of this. So I denied her refund. She blocked me. And I thought, hey, that's that. Until a few days later.

24:41 When I received a notification from my bank and she had requested a charge back.

24:46 What nerve.

24:48 Come on.

24:49 Wow.

24:50 Like, you think that's going to work?

24:52 Yeah.

24:52 You're not doing this to it like an Amazon purchase. It's this is a she's got the receipts.

24:58 Yeah.

24:58 She got the proof.

25:00 Yeah.

25:00 OP says this was easily disputed with my screenshots of our conversations and photos of the actual signs.

25:08 Her charge back was denied.

25:10 Hey, that's good.

25:13 Yes. We don't like people ripping off small.

25:16 What are you doing?

25:17 Yeah.

25:18 Yeah.

25:18 That coworker. Stopped speaking to me at work. I figured that would happen anyway. It turns out this new bride had requested partial refunds from every single vendor and service received for her wedding.

25:31 Mm-hmm.

25:31 Uh-huh.

25:32 Mm-hmm. See? See what happens? That's rude.

25:35 That is rude.

25:36 That's rude.

25:37 The venue, the catering, the photographer, her hair, makeup artist, the list goes on.

25:42 I mean.

25:42 Did she get it after? Yeah. It's like... Yeah. Look, if your catering brings you the wrong food.

25:48 Go ahead, refund.

25:49 It doesn't take into consider allergies that we were previously talking about.

25:53 Get the refund.

25:54 Your hairstylist messes up your hair and you've got to chop it all off?

25:59 Yeah.

25:59 A big refund for that, I'd hope.

26:02 She had everything in writing, though.

26:03 Everything?

26:03 Yeah. They were just trying to say they knew ahead of time. They definitely knew ahead of time that this is what their griff was going to be.

26:11 Yeah.

26:12 They probably read this somewhere and they're like, oh, that's a brilliant idea.

26:14 We'll defraud all the people who work for us.

26:18 So rude. All the people who worked hard to make our day special.

26:21 Oh, destiny. Yes.

26:23 So she chose to leave her job and become a full-time dog breeder, which was not working out. The majority of her wedding was paid for by her credit card, which now she's in debt fighting with her new husband over her excessive spending.

26:42 Apparently, he had.

26:43 Given her full reign to do whatever she wanted as long as she didn't bother him with organizing it.

26:48 Oh, that sounds like a good marriage. What a great start.

26:52 That story is coming together, though. Can't you see it? I do.

26:55 I see it.

26:56 She's trying to backtrack. Her now husband didn't know her spending habits. Now she's trying to fix it by ripping off the vendors.

27:07 Yeah.

27:08 Oh, man. What a dishonest person.

27:10 You made your bed, Mr. Husband.

27:12 Yeah.

27:12 You went, do whatever you want. Just don't bother me.

27:16 And now he's like, you spent what? You spent what on the wedding? Call him. Get your money back.

27:21 You weren't that good.

27:22 I know that guy. Yeah. Sounds familiar.

27:26 To go into debt over one day is ridiculous in and of itself. But to try and scam the small businesses and people doing you favors is another.

27:35 Clock it.

27:37 Absolutely. Get clocked. Get clocked. That's what the kids are doing now.

27:41 Oh, am I cool now? Am I cool?

27:43 We're cool. Oh, we're cool.

27:44 Oh my gosh, I'm cool.

27:45 You've always been cool.

27:46 Where's my kids at?

27:47 They need to hear I'm cool.

27:48 In the purple suit.

27:49 Oh, thank you.

27:50 And that's the end of this story. Let's head to the next one. I let my kid ruin someone's theater experience because she was being difficult.

27:59 Oh.

27:59 Oh.

28:00 Yeah.

28:01 My thoughts exactly.

28:02 My mom bought tickets to The Lion King on Broadway for her, me, 38.

28:07 Female, and my five-year-old son.

28:10 Whew.

28:11 It was the matinee show, and I took off work around lunchtime to meet them at the theater. My mom had forgotten to feed my son, and he was starving. The theater was filled with children and families, and to my surprise, they were selling snacks, like crackers and candy, along with Slurpees and other more adult beverages.

28:30 For a reasonable price, right?

28:32 Yeah.

28:32 Oh, yeah. For $ 38, you can have one Ritz cracker.

28:33 Oh.

28:37 I'm hungry.

28:38 It was too late to get anything before the show, so I told my son to just hang in there. Shortly after we sat down, a lady came in with two tweens and sat in front of us. She kept glancing sharply back at us, and I'm not sure why. My son was talking excitedly, but at a normal volume, not any louder than other people.

28:59 At one point, she spun around and asked, Is he f * * * ing my seat?

29:04 Oh, no.

29:05 Is that a Karen I see here?

29:07 The sound.

29:08 The Karen.

29:09 It's another animal from the Lion King show. It's the wild Karen. The shrill call.

29:16 He was sitting right next to me and he was absolutely not. In her seat, though, he was swinging his feet a bit. He was up on a booster seat provided by the theater, and his little legs were not even long enough to reach. I said no, and she spun back around. I quietly told him to stop swinging his legs, and he did. And by the way, this comes from Alice The May, and if you want to submit your own stories.

29:38 Go to our subreddit. I'm Dakota.

29:40 I'm Keon, and we have a very special guest returning back. Can you go ahead and introduce yourself?

29:45 Yes, it's the man in the purple suit, Jonathan Mollo. Thank you so much for having me again. I had so much fun.

29:49 Thank you for being back. Thank you for coming back, Jonathan.

29:52 And well, let's see what OP says here. As the show started, my son.

29:56 Was absolutely wrapped. When all the animals came down the aisle, he gasped and said, Mommy, Mommy, look. Come on, dude.

30:05 That's adorable.

30:06 Come on.

30:07 That's adorable. No one can hate on that.

30:10 Just end the story there because my heart's happy.

30:13 The whimsy.

30:14 Oh, my gosh.

30:17 Later, when the monkey talks to the audience and asks a question, he answered back. And he was not the only kid to do so. Both times, this woman spun around and looked at us with daggers in her eyes.

30:33 Get out of here, Karen. Get out of here.

30:35 Get out of here. I'd do like three stooges and I'd go.

30:39 Oh, yes.

30:39 You should go.

30:41 And then I'd go to jail. Oh, that's okay.

30:43 It was worth it.

30:44 She would learn her lesson.

30:45 Yes.

30:45 Get out of here.

30:46 Anyway, he did not say anything else during the show. But at intermission, he looked at me with big eyes and said, I'm really hungry.

30:56 Oh.

30:57 So I ran to the concession stand and I got him a small bag of veggie straws. I would never, ever in a million years have brought veggie straws into a theater.

31:07 Because they are crazy. Crunchy. They make the noise.

31:10 But they were selling them along with other crunchy things. So I thought, OK, this is just how they roll at this matinee. I got back just in time for the curtain. He started eating as the show resumed.

31:22 Crunchy, crunch, crunch.

31:23 And I could see the ladies shoulders twitch. There were rustling, crunching, eating sounds coming from elsewhere as other people were also consuming their snacks, but my son was right behind her. Normally, I would have stopped him, even as hungry as he.

31:39 Was, but I did not.

31:41 He got through about three-fourths of the bag before she cracked and turned around, huffing somewhat loudly.

31:47 Can you please keep him quiet?

31:49 This is a sacred space.

31:51 Sacred space?

31:52 Girl, it's a matinee.

31:54 Get out of here.

31:55 And I hissed back, Mind your business. Let's just mind your own business.

31:59 Get it.

32:00 Do it.

32:00 Her comment and my response was the first time anybody nearby had noticed anything was going on. A few people sort of half turned around and then quickly turned back.

32:09 To the show.

32:09 My mom, who was on the other side of my son, didn't notice anything. And my son was so into the show that he was totally oblivious. I mean, he's also five.

32:19 Yeah. And that's a good thing that he didn't notice somebody being not a very nice person.

32:23 Yeah.

32:23 Yeah.

32:24 Yeah, you never know when the complex might just start up. It's like some uppity, huffy woman in the theater turns around and says, don't do that. And then suddenly like, oh, I'm going to be a chronic people pleaser for the rest of my life.

32:37 No, you're not going to prove it to them. But we just discussed this, the last story. Well, not last story, but we discussed how people lose their whimsy.

32:46 Yeah.

32:46 That lady can't. Clearly lost her whimsy and along with other things like her mind.

32:51 Yeah.

32:52 It's like, come on, I've got a starving five-year-old. He's eating veggie straws. Come on.

32:56 She just hates life. I think she hates life.

32:58 A little bit. Yeah, they do.

33:00 He happily was crunching his way through the rest of the bag while the lady continued to twitch. I was prepared for a confrontation on the way out, but she booked it out of there. I think she was scared of me after I hissed back at her. In summary, I let my kid ruin someone's theater experience because she was rude.

33:17 Am I the a-hole?

33:18 No, you're not.

33:19 No, dude. She ruined her own theater experience. Come on.

33:24 She should have left earlier. Earlier than that. Get out of here. If you're not happy, go. You have a choice to either stay. or uh go just go.

33:32 Yeah very truly it seems like she was more hyper fixated on the kid behind her than the actual show.

33:38 But doesn't that make it worse though like yeah you're you're yeah what there's people like that that exists among us you're.

33:46 Gonna put on the mental filter sometimes you're like this is a sacred place don't let your child eat veggie straws with an ear shot of me. And it's like, hey, just shut up, dude.

33:56 Exactly.

33:56 Turn around, shut up.

33:57 Exactly.

33:58 Amen.

33:59 You look at the, what do I got? What, I got 10 pounds of veggie straws he's going to chomp through? It's a bag. Yeah. It's snacks. They sell it.

34:06 And kids can't eat through 10 pounds of veggie straws. It's not possible.

34:09 I would sure hope not. I can't imagine. I mean, it's healthier than other stuff, but my God.

34:16 No, no, no.

34:18 And that's the end of this story. Let's head to the next one.

34:21 Hey, this is Riley, the host that can't really read that well. We're going to get back to the stories, but here's three minutes worth of ads from our sponsors. My fiance wants me to get circumcised.

34:31 Before our wedding.

34:33 What?

34:34 Stop.

34:36 We met in the summer of 2018 and got engaged last year. Although our relationship is pretty solid, she can be very hot-headed. For example, she gets upset when things don't go her way and takes it as a personal insult. It's definitely a princess syndrome that can be difficult to deal with, but it's never caused serious issues.

35:00 Yet.

35:01 I can't.

35:02 A couple of months ago, she told me that I will need to get circumcised before our wedding later this year.

35:10 I mean, what is what is the actual girl? You better love your hat. You've had that hat for a minute.

35:18 So stop.

35:19 Stop this.

35:20 I said no. And she straight up told me that it's not a choice.

35:26 Oh.

35:26 His body, his choice.

35:28 We all know that.

35:29 I mean.

35:30 We argued for a bit and she said that I would be attracted to her if she had an outie vajayjay with extra skin hanging.

35:38 Her words, not mine.

35:39 So I told her that's not really the same thing at all and that I'd be attracted to her regardless. However, she got very irritated and ignored me for the rest of the evening. She has not stopped talking about this since that day. Every day she sends me articles talking about the benefits of circumcism.

35:57 Are we?

35:58 And that it's totally healthy and safe and why I should do it.

36:01 Why are you just bringing this up now is my question.

36:04 Because she about time not.

36:06 She saw the movie Alien and went, hmm.

36:09 No, this is not okay. I wonder how long have they been together?

36:13 Did it say?

36:13 Am I saying the title?

36:15 I can check.

36:16 We might get more context though.

36:17 I'm just curious because it's like at what point or like it's every time that they're intimate.

36:21 Is she like, dang, okay. I don't like this hood. Like, that's craziness to me.

36:25 I like the engine. I don't like the hood.

36:27 I don't like the hood.

36:28 Right?

36:29 You just pull it down.

36:30 Sorry.

36:32 She says that civilized men get circumcised.

36:35 What about the Euros?

36:37 Listen, if you go to Europe, you're going to see a hood or two.

36:40 Yeah.

36:40 Are you calling most of Europe uncivilized?

36:43 Facts.

36:44 Facts.

36:45 You're going to see a couple hoods over there.

36:47 She repeatedly said that she dislikes her ex and wants me to be better than him.

36:52 Oh, so it's a comparison thing.

36:54 According to her, that includes getting a circumcism.

36:57 No, man.

36:58 By the way, this comes from throwaway00. And if you want to speak on stories, you know exactly where to go. I'm Riley.

37:05 I'm Keon.

37:06 And we have a returning guest.

37:08 Can you let them know who you are and what you do?

37:10 What's up, guys?

37:11 I'm Drea Renee. I'm the host of the Hey Babe, Can We Talk podcast. I'm a relationship expert. And if you have any problems, let me know. You can find me at Hey Babe, Can We Talk on every social.

37:20 Yes.

37:21 And Keon and I are going to be goofy. But Drea here is going to give us actual advice. Yes. She's an expert. She knows what's happening.

37:28 But also goofy.

37:29 Yeah, she's goofy too. I mean, we've, yeah.

37:33 Don't get it twisted.

37:33 This is a story that I don't know.

37:36 Opie says, yesterday she brought it up again and I said that she has no right to tell me what to do with my body. She yelled that she spends a lot of time and effort into her appearance and isn't asking for much in return. While it's true, she spends a lot of money on beauty, hair, facial treatments, around $ 800 a month. I don't think you can compare that to a circumcism. She got very upset, calling me selfish and heartless. and basically told me to F off. Normally, we would argue, she doesn't get that heated, but I could hardly tolerate her attitude yesterday. Later that evening, we had spicy sleep. Yes, I'm stupid. And in the middle of it, she brought up the topic again. It felt very manipulative. And when I told her it's not the

38:25 right time, she accused me of not loving her actually and started crying. Since she rarely cries, this didn't seem genuine. She got up and told me that we will get this done either way and that I shouldn't let such a small issue ruin what we have either way.

38:42 Wow.

38:43 We'll get this done either way.

38:45 He needs to let her go.

38:47 He needs to, one, get rid of any sharp object in his apartment.

38:52 Lorena Bobbitt.

38:53 And then, two, let her go.

38:56 This is non-negotiable to me. He needs to let her go, period. This is done. I could never come back from this. And the gaslighting this woman is doing is beyond. She's a psychopath.

39:06 You know what the second red flag I saw was?

39:08 What?

39:09 You may have picked it up.

39:10 What?

39:10 The $ 800 products?

39:12 To be fair, Riley, depending on where they live, that's not that much.

39:15 Do you know how much it is for a facial in LA? Oh my God.

39:18 I just, to me, I wouldn't want to be with someone that puts so much money into just their appearance. Like I get like a couple hundred bucks a month, but if it's like that much.

39:28 I mean, she's probably doing a lot. on the regular, which I just feel like that right there in itself, that type of woman, it's not a bad thing, but it's like, girl, if you knew you didn't like a hood, you probably knew that in the first few months of being with him.

39:41 Also from my pocket. Okay.

39:43 It's 800.

39:43 Now you're young. It's going to creep into a thousand pretty soon.

39:47 Easily.

39:47 I guess he's going to have to take care of that.

39:49 Imagine like a fifth or like a quarter of your paycheck goes to just her face.

39:56 Some people do that.

39:57 Some people do it. And maybe she feels like he needs that.

40:00 Maybe he wants that. I don't know what their nuances are.

40:03 That's her confidee boot, you know?

40:04 Yeah.

40:04 That's for her.

40:06 I don't know.

40:06 Like for us, we just need a new shirt and new belt.

40:09 Yeah.

40:09 That is true. I do need a new belt.

40:11 Oh my God.

40:12 Yeah. Like a haircut.

40:13 But you don't need to be circumcised.

40:15 Thank you.

40:15 Yes. You're welcome.

40:17 To be honest, I sound anonymous.

40:18 Hey!

40:19 And I don't even know what to think of it. Is this something we can work out at all? Throughout our entire relationship, she never complained about my uncircumcised wiener. And now it's such a big deal to her. It's given me anxiety about our future. And I don't even know what to do. We had so many discussions about it.

40:39 And it always ends the same way. We have some comments and then an update one week later. Our expert, please. What do we do here?

40:49 This is not even a discussion.

40:52 You need to leave this woman immediately because she doesn't love you as you are. And this change up all of a sudden that you are not circumcised and I can't marry you. That is wild to me. It's his body. He should be able to do whatever he wants and making it where you have to do it. You don't have a choice. Like, are you if this were the other way around, the way that people will be coming for this man would be beyond. Are you kidding me?

41:15 So we have some comments. Okay. Amon's 4-4 says, this relationship sounds hellish. I can't imagine wanting to stay with someone who makes such a demand. What are you doing? And Opie says, I'll be honest. I don't know.

41:29 She must be hot.

41:30 Has to be.

41:31 She must be like a 10 out of 10.

41:33 But even still, you got to think about like the entirety of your life.

41:37 People get so.

41:37 Stuck in these small moments and you got to think, If this is the person you're going to life with, that you're going to be with every single day, eating all your meals with, sleeping in the bed with, and this is what's running in the back of their minds, I, for me, once that's out, I could never.

41:51 Let that go.

41:52 And it's your sex life. It's like, are you not satisfied with what I'm doing or the appearance of my penis? That's what we have boiled our relationship down to, the hood of my penis, which you have known about. I propose to you. Stop this. Yeah, that is wild.

42:06 This is ridiculous.

42:07 I'm sorry.

42:08 I just want to know where this came up from. So more from OP in the comments. OP says that that's what I don't understand. When we first had Spicy Sleep, she didn't even comment on it. This came out of nowhere and I don't understand why she didn't bring it up earlier. And OP says, I asked her, but she won't give me a reason. She just says that's her preference and that she's discussed it with her friend.

42:30 Oh, is it a male friend?

42:33 Oh, God.

42:34 She's like, oh, that's what it feels like.

42:36 Maybe I like it like that.

42:37 Oh, my gosh.

42:38 I mean, I think the sensation is only different for them. As far as what I know personally, I don't think it makes any difference for us. Now, there's hygiene issues where you do have to maybe take.

42:51 A little bit more care of it in its natural state.

42:54 Yep.

42:55 So there's that.

42:56 I'm like, are you a dirty man?

42:57 Yeah.

42:57 Not that dirty, I hope.

42:59 I mean.

43:00 Ugh.

43:00 I don't know. But this is such a weird conversation to be talking about at the point of engagement.

43:05 So it doesn't.

43:06 This is wild.

43:07 It doesn't affect her.

43:09 No, it doesn't affect any. I mean, listen, I don't know. That's my experience. I don't think it made any difference.

43:14 Update. One week later.

43:16 Okay.

43:16 I have received countless personal messages, all pretty much saying the same thing. Yet I still wanted to work things out and marry her. She must be really hot.

43:25 I need to see a photo of this lady.

43:27 Yeah.

43:28 We ask that all the time.

43:29 I need to see.

43:29 I need to see a photo.

43:30 I need to see a photo of her.

43:32 Who is she?

43:33 Her, him, and the. So we get.

43:35 No.

43:36 Good understanding.

43:37 I don't need to see that.

43:38 No. No.

43:39 Good.

43:40 Then a few days after my post, we had a huge fight. She threatened me.

43:45 Again?

43:47 I won't give too many details, but it was more than enough to give me a wake up call.

43:52 That was more than enough to give you a wake up call?

43:54 I'm sorry.

43:54 Her going, you have no decision. You have to get circumcised. Wasn't a big enough wake up call for you?

44:00 What are we doing here?

44:02 What's going on?

44:03 And that's when I finally realized that the relationship isn't healthy or normal. I had those thoughts before, but Her action that day confirmed it. Opie continues, right now, I'm in the process of completely removing her from my life. From wanting to marry her one day to this.

44:22 I'm so proud of him.

44:23 That's really hard to do.

44:24 That's really hard to do. And that's the right choice. That is the right choice. She needs to go.

44:30 That incident had a significant impact on my mental health. And at this point, I just needed a long break. I've spoken to her parents in private, and they're almost begging me to rethink the whole situation.

44:42 They know. They're like, no, take her, take her, take her.

44:44 Why are they telling him to rethink it then?

44:46 Because they told her that he needs to go through this, and that they're the ones that actually said it to her. I think that's what it is. I think her parents are very rich, are very like, push, push, ho, ho, ho.

44:56 What do they care about?

44:58 It's about the heritage. It's about the legacy.

45:02 This is wild.

45:03 They asked me to rethink it. I said I won't. I still love her, but couldn't do this anymore. It's a shock to the system. I went from planning my future with her to now actively cutting everything that connects us off.

45:16 Well, not everything. Not everything.

45:18 I read through the comments again after this incident, and they put things into perspective for me. Thank you all for the advice and the personal messages. That's it.

45:27 Good for him. He made the right choice. I don't think that's something you can live with.

45:30 If any guy asked me to modify myself in a way where it was an ultimatum, I'm out of there. I will never be able to get that thought out of my head.

45:39 It's also along the lines of, we can't get married unless you're Christian, unless you're pescatarian, unless you're XYZ. But these are things you know at.

45:49 The beginning though, right? These are conversations you have early on.

45:51 So then you don't have to say things like this once you're in love and you're engaged and the person's proposed to you and you have your family and friends involved. This is like, I mean, I don't know how many dates it took for her to find out he had a hood.

46:03 Do your thing.

46:04 But, you know, these are conversations that you have early on, not at engagement. That is insane to me.

46:10 And that's the end of this story. Let's head to the next one.

46:14 My best friend's love life is perfect and I'm extremely jealous of it.

46:19 What?

46:20 This comes from Rita Box. She says, just wondering, I'm 36 female and still single. My last relationship was seven years ago, and I've been trying really hard to find someone else since then. So recently, one of my best friends, 35 female, got engaged. Her fiance is literally a unicorn. He's handsome as F, a neurosurgeon, went to Yale, and treats her like she's the queen of England herself.

46:49 Damn, I'm jealous.

46:50 Neurosurgeon?

46:51 Yeah.

46:54 Dang.

46:54 Meanwhile, I'm scraping by to date guys without stable jobs or homes who end up ghosting me always. I know this makes me sound super bitter, but I can't help but compare our lives. And sometimes these comparisons get to me. We're college roommates and did everything together. But her romantic life has been nothing but sunshine and rainbows compared to me.

47:18 When she first broke up with her college boyfriend, we all warned her. that dating, especially in a big city like New York City, would be a crap show because no decent guy wanted to commit. Somehow, she was the one woman in the city who couldn't shake off men, even if she wanted to. I'm pretty sure she found a long-term boyfriend like two weeks after moving to the city.

47:39 Two weeks?

47:41 She met her now fiance on Tinder, and they were exclusive.

47:43 After four days.

47:45 Are you deceased?

47:47 I'm deceased.

47:47 In the Big Apple? In New York City?

47:49 In New York City.

47:50 Hey, it happens.

47:51 Listen, her friend is, her feelings are becoming more valid to me.

47:55 Every sense we read.

47:55 Every moment, it's like, I'm like, girl, I feel you.

47:58 She has literally never been rejected, ghosted, or strung along by a man any time in her life.

48:04 What?

48:04 She told me herself. It honestly pisses me off in a way. because I don't think she remotely understands or appreciates how lucky she's been. It's giving pretty privilege.

48:14 It's giving pretty.

48:14 I was about to say, she must be hot.

48:17 It also makes me wonder if I'm defective or broken in some way.

48:21 Oh, baby girl.

48:22 Even if logically, I know she's an extreme outlier in the dating world. Anyone else have friends like this in your life that you sort of have a love-hate as a result of your own jealousy? She's one of my closest friends, so I don't see myself ever cutting her out. But hearing about her life still feels like daggers shooting into my heart sometimes. Drea, how can you walk this person through how to navigate this friendship?

48:49 Okay, first of all, I want to say she said, I'm dating guys who don't have jobs, who are ghosting me, who are doing all these things. It all starts with you. You have to address the choices that you are making. Your friend did get very lucky, and I understand the feelings that would come up for someone. sort of navigating dating, especially today when most people don't want to commit, they're ghosting you. You got to play games and do all these things. And it takes way more than four dates to get a guy to commit these days. So I understand the feelings, but you got to look at yourself, look at the places that you're going to. What choices are you making? How can you better yourself? Yeah.

49:23 The places you're going to, I think, is huge.

49:25 Yes, it matters.

49:26 It matters. And if anybody's giving you any sort of red flag where they're making you feel confused, there's no clarity, get out of there. And girl, ask him if he got any friends.

49:35 Yeah.

49:36 Right?

49:37 I do believe. Right now, I've been doing comedy for the past like four months and like going to open mics, meeting new people. I don't know, a lot of awesome people through that. Or like they invite me to things. I go to them and it's like a cool interactive thing. And plus, if you're in a big city like that, what are you doing in your free time?

49:52 Who are you around?

49:53 I think, I don't think the apps work anymore. Do you think the apps work anymore?

49:56 I don't think the apps work anymore.

49:57 I think people are now slowly going back to real life. People are still very scared to go talk to people, but that's becoming more and more like go do events of things that you like. There's a lot of events now where you don't even have to drink. Daytime events where they're doing day raves with like coffee and cold plunges and all these things. So there's many opportunities to go and meet new people where you aren't just at home scrolling on an app. But I do have some girlfriends who are still adverse to going out and they think apps are the only way. They're not bad, but I do think that people are starting to see that there's just so many options that people are drowning in.

50:30 And messages, and they aren't really trying to actually connect.

50:33 And would you say that people have an opportunistic mindset when it comes to dating, that there's always a better option out there?

50:42 That's what I feel social media and online apps have created in the minds of everyone, that the grass is always greener somewhere else. And then your tolerance for misbehavior, anything, even something really small, everyone's like, no, I'm done. I'm not talking.

50:56 Block him, babe.

50:56 Move on.

50:57 And you're just like, wait a second.

50:58 There was a situation that my friend was telling me about. The guy confirmed the date the day before. He's like, I'm really looking forward to tomorrow, you know, whatever. But he didn't confirm on the day. He just said, I'll see you tomorrow at seven. And so he just shows up on the date at seven. Well, she didn't go because he didn't confirm that morning again. And just things like this. I'm like, girl, but he did confirm. And she's like, yeah, but he didn't say it today. And I'm like, so then he's there. It's 730.

51:23 He's going, where are you?

51:25 And she's like, I'm at home. And I'm like, just stuff like that. And I'm thinking to myself, babe, if you weren't sure, why didn't you just text him?

51:32 God forbid. Just say, oh, I'm just clarifying.

51:34 But just little things like that.

51:36 Yeah, yeah.

51:37 It's ridiculous.

51:38 I was scrolling through TikTok the other day and they were saying apps shouldn't be a thing because back, you know, 50 years ago, apps weren't a thing. You're supposed to meet people through everyday life, not because of like, This social media platform where you can meet anyone and have opportunities at that. It's like, yeah, that makes a lot more sense.

51:55 All you had was your neighborhood or maybe like your supermarket area.

51:59 The vicinity was very small.

52:01 The events you go to.

52:02 Exactly.

52:02 The churches you go to. The groups you're around. Schools, work.

52:07 But now you can match with somebody in Spain. Like, hola, como esta?

52:11 You can. You can. Look at that.

52:12 And that's the end of this story. Let's head to the next one.

52:16 I feel like the guy I'm dating is obsessed with me.

52:19 What's the problem?

52:21 I recently started dating a guy I've known for 10 years. We're both 27. Back then, he always liked me, but I didn't feel the same. We stayed friends. He later had a long relationship that eventually ended. And after reconnecting, we slowly started talking again. and decided to give dating a try. We've been officially dating for about a month and a half, and the connection has been genuinely been really good.

52:47 What is the problem here?

52:49 This is wild. You guys, he likes me.

52:52 Ew.

52:53 Something's wrong.

52:56 I'm so grossed out.

52:58 He likes me.

53:00 At first, his affection felt sweet and flattering. But lately, I've started noticing patterns that are making me feel uncomfortable. By the way, this comes from MediolicBabe25. And if you're listening to your own stories, you know where to go.

53:15 I'm Riley. I'm Drea.

53:17 I'm Sophia. And Drea, could you introduce yourself for any newcomers?

53:21 Hey, guys.

53:21 I'm Drea Renee, host of the Hey, Babe, Can We Talk podcast. I'm a relationship expert. So if you have any problems, come my way.

53:27 That's right. It's a super fun podcast. You learn a lot.

53:30 Check it out.

53:31 And she's going to help us read these stories goofily. And she's an expert. So Opie says, he wants to see me constantly and struggles when I ask for space. If we don't find a way to see each other every day, he gets upset. For examples, two days ago, I had a fall and my back and arm were hurting really badly. So I told him I couldn't go over to his place. Instead of understanding, he kept insisting and offering different ways for us to still see each other.

53:58 I explained, that we had just seen each other the night before, and that we could meet another day because I really wasn't feeling well and wanted to rest. He continued to push, and I end up crying because I felt overwhelmed like nothing I ever do is enough and that I have to be available 24-7. He eventually showed up at my house anyways because he needed to see me, which made me feel like my boundaries weren't being respected.

54:27 We did talk about it afterwards. And he said he would try to respect my space and work on it.

54:35 Okay, now that we got a little more context.

54:37 Yeah, you see the problem now?

54:39 I see the problem now. But you know what's so funny?

54:41 What?

54:42 Old Drea, unhealed Drea would have been like, oh my God, I love that he showed up. Because I was a show-upper. I've so shown up.

54:48 Oh my God.

54:49 I've done it.

54:49 You told us this story last time.

54:51 I've done it. I've done it. And the thing is, I understand him. Because there's something in you that's like, I need to go find this person.

54:58 You make sure they're okay. They just fell.

55:00 Maybe they need me.

55:01 I don't know.

55:02 And, you know, I understand that feeling because I used to think enmeshment was the answer. I understand now the value of missing someone, independence, having your own life.

55:12 But, Audrey?

55:13 I'm on you like white on rice.

55:14 Like I'm not going nowhere.

55:16 Okay.

55:16 I'm like, where are we going? Who's texting us? I was that girl. But you know what? You know what?

55:22 I own it.

55:22 I own it.

55:24 I'm healed now. And you know, I really, it was so wild. I just thought like every moment should be spent together.

55:30 I really did.

55:30 Oh, that's sweet.

55:32 I did, but it was like if somebody needed to do something else, I was like, wow.

55:36 Without me? Really?

55:37 Like, this is crazy.

55:39 So you hate me?

55:40 So I was that girl. But now it's like I value him. I'm like, I got stuff to do, which I never used to say. I didn't even want him to go to work. I was like, hey, I'm outside.

55:50 Wow.

55:51 I know.

55:51 He was hot, though. Dang.

55:54 He's also already told me he loves me and frequently talks about wanting a future in and alive together, saying he doesn't see himself with anyone else. While that may sound romantic, it feels very intense for such a short time. Because they've only been together for a month and a half.

56:11 But they've known each other for 10 years.

56:12 It's true. So, I'm giving him some slack.

56:17 He's been in love with you for 10 years.

56:20 I recently gave him a simple ring as a thoughtful gift. He likes wearing them. And he put it on a necklace saying he wanted me with him all the time and that anything I give him is extremely important to him, which already started to feel more overwhelming than comforting. The hardest part is that when I try to express how I feel, he becomes sad or frustrated, which makes me feel like I can't communicate openly without hurting him. If I'm being completely honest, I've started to feel scared, not because he's been violent, but because his attachment feels excessive and I don't feel emotionally safe addressing it. He admits he might get a little obsessive, but says it's only because he loves me so much and doesn't want to

57:08 mess this up. The self-sabotage stage. Yeah, that's what it feels like.

57:15 This ultimately has nothing to do with her. That's the biggest lesson about this obsession and this thing, this void that you need to fill. This isn't about her. This is something that he's seeking for himself, that he cannot give himself. A higher power can't give him. His family can't give him. This is something that he's using her to fill. So she's there and it is an attachment thing, but it's not really about her.

57:36 It's its own self.

57:37 I feel like sometimes people who are obsessed with their partner, especially after this short of time, in a couple months, they're like, oh, I'm actually not that interested.

57:45 And if she took that attention and was like, oh, my God, I want you, I want you, he'd be like, ugh. Because he doesn't really believe that he's worth it. So what she's doing is reinforcing the beliefs that he doesn't. actually has about himself. She's kind of like, hey, I need to, and he's like, oh, I gotta give, I gotta go chase, chase, chase. But if she turned around and was like, oh, okay, he'd be very confused. Yeah, he wouldn't react the same.

58:09 Opie says, I really care about him, but I'm also trying to listen to my instincts and protect my peace. That's your most important thing you have is your gut. I'm unsure if I'm overthinking or if these are genuine red flags that I shouldn't ignore. Has anyone experienced something similar? How did you handle it? Any advice or perspective would mean a lot. We have an update. Drea, how do you handle this?

58:35 Honestly, how you handle this is you call my exes and you ask them what they did.

58:41 There's a common theme.

58:42 With those exes. There's a common theme.

58:43 You know what I mean? Poor guys. I have to make some amends.

58:46 Anyway.

58:47 I think in this situation, if the red flags are there, especially this early on, sort of like the other story we told, like you have to take action now because what ends up happening is that you continue doing this thing, hoping this person will change. And this dynamic that you see now will be the dynamic. And once she turns around and starts loving him back, everything will shift.

59:06 I guarantee it.

59:07 So if she is not interested in this dynamic and it doesn't sound like she is, she needs to end the relationship because this obsession with her and everything she's doing, like it's only going to get worse.

59:17 So update.

59:18 Hi, everyone.

59:19 I just want to thank you so much for everyone who took time to read, comment and share their thoughts. I truly appreciate the support and different perspectives. I'd like to address a few things that came up in the comments. Therapy slash help. I've spoken to him about seeking professional help before. I've personally been in therapy for over a year, working on myself to become the best version I can be.

59:40 Knowing some of his unresolved personal issues, I've encouraged him to do the same. While he agrees verbally, saying things like, I should probably do that. I haven't really seen much effort towards him actually doing it. Yeah.

59:55 Yeah.

59:55 I mean, I'm like, no, there needs to be some real movement because the same mind that created the problem isn't going to be the same mind that gets you out.

1:00:02 That's just my opinion.

1:00:03 I think you need to have some outside source of some kind to kind of get you moving. Maybe you go join a men's group or go talk to someone. But you deciding to stay in the situation as it is and you're just going to figure it out, that's not how that works because you would have figured it out already.

1:00:19 Yeah.

1:00:19 You would know. But he's going to need some consequences to kind of show him that this behavior is not okay. But right now he does not know that because he still has the girl and he will say whatever he needs to so he can keep doing the things.

1:00:31 That he's doing.

1:00:32 To preserve the relationship.

1:00:33 And everybody, it's a pendulum. Everybody can go, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm going to change. I'm going to do this. And then it stops and you're like, hey, I'm outside.

1:00:39 And that's it. So.

1:00:40 Yeah.

1:00:41 Wanting space doesn't mean lack of interest. Some comments suggested that I don't really seem ready for a serious relationship because I don't want to spend every moment together.

1:00:51 What?

1:00:51 Those people need to call me immediately. Hey, babe, can we talk?

1:00:54 Call me.

1:00:55 I respect different viewpoints, but I truly believe that even in a serious relationship, personal space is healthy and necessary. Needing time for yourself doesn't mean you care any less for the other person. I wasn't refusing to see him. I was physically unwell and needed rest, especially since we had seen each other the night before. Despite that, he still showed up at my house, which felt like a boundary was crossed. His past relationship, I won't go into detail, but I will say that there were unresolved issues that I believe are now reflecting into our relationship, especially since he hasn't Process them with professional help. He also hasn't always spoken well of his ex. And while I don't

1:01:40 personally know her, I only know his side of the story. And I believe there are always two sides of a story or maybe three.

1:01:49 You don't you don't do that.

1:01:50 That's one of the things I watch for very early on in dating. Someone talks about their ex. especially if they throw out the C word really quickly. She's crazy. I'm like, stop this. Don't do this.

1:02:00 Okay. I don't know her.

1:02:01 I don't need to know her.

1:02:02 But if they go right into negativity, like there's constructive things you could say. I've had people be like, you know, we just didn't work out and we were just different people.

1:02:11 I love that.

1:02:12 But when you go right into detail, talking about somebody that's crazy and this and that, I'm like, no, because you don't talk about me like that. Absolutely.

1:02:19 After reading some of your comments and reflecting deeply, I've decided to take a step back and create some space. I spoke to him last night about how his behavior was making me feel. He has become emotional, saying he didn't want to lose me, and that he truly believed he was doing things right. We have gone out. We have stayed together. He has given me details and gifts that I appreciate with all my heart, but just some of his actions are just a lot. While he admitted he can be intense and said he would try to work on it, some of his reactions, is it really that bad? Or I guess we won't see each other then?

1:02:59 Still made me feel like my need for space wasn't fully understood. Opie has some more. She's saying, I feel that way sometimes. And she's like, I got to sew. And I'm like, you don't want to see me? You don't want to hang out with me?

1:03:10 You know what that is, though?

1:03:12 I feel like we all have these inner childs that just need to be coddled all the time.

1:03:15 Yeah.

1:03:16 You know?

1:03:16 And you just want to be with your person.

1:03:18 Like, if it's good, it's healthy, there's just this thing where you want to be with them all the time. And it's such a beautiful thing. But not being able to contain those boundaries and be like, okay. She's her own person. I'm my own person. And for the betterment of your entire relationship, you do need space. I hated the S word, like low key. It still makes me cringe.

1:03:36 I'm like, ew, space. But I understand the benefits of it because you do need to miss someone.

1:03:41 A little bit.

1:03:42 You need a little bit of like, I don't know what they're doing or maybe they're not available. And even if we don't think that we do, you actually do.

1:03:49 Because if somebody's.

1:03:50 Just available all the time, that stuff is boring. You're like, don't you got something to do?

1:03:54 Yeah. You know?

1:03:55 I do agree with that.

1:03:57 It's true because it's like, oh my God, Riley, what are you doing?

1:03:59 Okay, I'm available.

1:04:00 You might be like, girl, back up. I'm telling you.

1:04:03 So we've talked about these things before, and he has mentioned he feels very attracted to me, and whenever we're not together, he does feel like he misses me a lot. He always ends up saying he needs to work on these things because he knows it's not necessarily something healthy. For now, I'm taking time to process... I care about him and like him a lot, but I'm also scared of behavior that feels excessive and unfamiliar to me. I've done everything in my power to show up for him, make time for him, be there for him. So I don't believe asking for space is something unreasonable. I feel it's a normal and healthy thing to do. Thank you for the kindness and honesty and concern. It helped me more than you'll ever know. Smiley face.

1:04:50 Question.

1:04:51 Yes.

1:04:52 For both of you ladies. Okay. That's me? Yep.

1:04:54 You're with a man like this. It's a month and a half in. He just got out of a long-term relationship. Would you hit up the ex?

1:05:01 No.

1:05:02 You wouldn't?

1:05:02 No.

1:05:03 Why not?

1:05:03 I don't think it's a situation that you need to hit up the ex for.

1:05:07 Okay.

1:05:07 Yeah.

1:05:08 I mean, he's being a little obsessive, but he's not like doing anything crazy where I'd be like, yo, what is going on here?

1:05:13 Okay.

1:05:13 So no, I don't think I would hit up the ex.

1:05:15 No, I don't feel like that. His ex?

1:05:18 Yeah.

1:05:19 No.

1:05:20 No?

1:05:20 No.

1:05:20 No.

1:05:21 If I don't like someone, I just don't like them. Or if I'm having problems with them, those are my problems.

1:05:27 Could you imagine you hit up the ex and she's like, he wasn't like.

1:05:29 That with me.

1:05:29 Yeah, you're like, I'm sorry, girl.

1:05:31 I got to go.

1:05:32 Wrong number.

1:05:33 Yeah, yeah.

1:05:35 Okay, this is a thought that you have. You think you'd hit up the ex-boyfriend and be like, yo, is she crazy with you too?

1:05:42 I have seen scenarios where girls will cross-reference things with exes.

1:05:47 This is not one of those situations.

1:05:48 I don't think.

1:05:49 Okay. Like someone get a, Hey, girly text or woman to woman. Yeah.

1:05:54 Yeah.

1:05:54 And I'm always like, where did that come from? Yeah. Or if you're at a place where you are at that point, why are you together?

1:06:00 Cheating is usually when those things come up. There's infidelity, there's affairs, there's like missed calls, connections, things. And you start being like, is he with so-and-so? Then you're reaching out possibly.

1:06:10 After a month and a half, I feel it's almost too much effort.

1:06:14 Yes. A month and a half, just let it go. Yeah.

1:06:16 I'm like, okay, bye.

1:06:16 Yeah.

1:06:17 Like you, this is, you need to move on.

1:06:18 Yeah.

1:06:18 Yeah.

1:06:19 Yeah, that's what I think.

1:06:20 I don't think you call anybody's exes at that point. That just seemed a little bit, that's overkill.

1:06:25 And that's the end of this story. Let's head to the next one. Hey, it's Keon, your host with the cakes here. We're going to get back to the stories, but here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

1:06:35 My boyfriend joked about dating my friend, and I've been uneasy ever since. Oh, no.

1:06:41 My 29 female boyfriend, 29.

1:06:43 Male, and I have been together for almost a year. I have a work friend, 21 female, who I've been close friends with for a good seven months or so. They text a lot, and I'm unsure of whether I should be worried. Work-related things, Drea.

1:07:03 Girl, stop this. I wish you would text my man. Where's the group chat?

1:07:11 Where's the group chat?

1:07:12 See, OP works with her, so the boyfriend needs to talk work-related things with her co-worker.

1:07:18 I don't care.

1:07:18 Anything you got to say to him, you got to say to us, girl.

1:07:21 No!

1:07:22 A separate chat with my man? I don't think so. That's a hard no for me.

1:07:26 It's not even his work friend. It's her work friend.

1:07:28 Period!

1:07:30 See, they're still talking work things. How is she doing at work? Is she doing a good job at work?

1:07:34 You checking up on me?

1:07:35 Ask me.

1:07:36 I'm your girlfriend.

1:07:37 I need a cross reference.

1:07:38 Is she still at work?

1:07:39 Can I come over?

1:07:40 Yeah, exactly.

1:07:42 Period. No, this is wild.

1:07:44 I'm pissed. My boyfriend is the kind of guy who is super friendly with absolutely everyone.

1:07:49 Ooh, I'm hot.

1:07:50 Nicest guy you'll ever meet. Basically, the golden retriever of people. He does a lot of public speaking for work and... He's just a generally agreeable person to be around. He has absolutely zero relationship experience aside from me, which I don't understand because he's so sweet, funny, educated, basically everything I could want in a man.

1:08:13 I don't care.

1:08:13 Then take a course.

1:08:14 Let me help you out.

1:08:16 This is really bad relationship etiquette. No way.

1:08:18 Yeah, that is kind of.

1:08:20 I'm sorry. No, what are y'all talking about?

1:08:21 Right?

1:08:22 Are y'all sending memes to each other? That's when I get real mad.

1:08:25 I have been cheated on a few times in my life. The most recent time being not long before I met him. I don't know whether I'm the kind of girl who gets cheated on or if I'm just paranoid. But either way, I've learned not to disregard feelings of suspicion. By the way, this comes from Butter Croissant Roll. And if you want to see my own story, you know where to go.

1:08:49 I'm Riley.

1:08:50 Treya.

1:08:51 I'm Sophia. Andrea, could you introduce yourself?

1:08:55 I'm Butter Croissant Roll as well.

1:08:57 I love a croissant.

1:08:58 I'm Drea Renee, host of the Hey Babe Can We Talk podcast. If you need relationship advice.

1:09:02 Come check it out.

1:09:03 Yes, she's our expert today. She's going to read the story goofily with us and give us some real advice. As Opie says, my boyfriend and I are long distance right now due to work. He's coming back to visit soon and he'll be back permanently in a couple of months. And at that point, we want to live together.

1:09:22 Okay, Riley, stop this. So not only are you texting somebody that I work with, we not even in the same vicinity on a regular?

1:09:30 Well, you can keep an eye on her and you know he's gone. So that might help.

1:09:34 This is so wrong.

1:09:36 Would you rather him date his coworker or your coworker?

1:09:41 Wow, Riley.

1:09:42 I would rather him not die.

1:09:46 You know what I mean?

1:09:47 This is crazy. What are y'all talking about? How did you get his number?

1:09:52 That's what I'm wondering.

1:09:54 How did he get her? Unless she made a typo. How did he get her coworker's number?

1:10:00 Seriously.

1:10:00 He's a friendly guy. He's educated. He probably had something to share with her.

1:10:04 In the group chat.

1:10:05 Yeah.

1:10:06 In the group?

1:10:07 Why are we doing side chats? This is getting me heated.

1:10:10 Oh, wait.

1:10:11 No, you got to keep going. You got to keep going.

1:10:13 Okay, okay, okay.

1:10:13 Okay, explain. So, we text almost constantly and talk on the phone regularly. We met up as often as we can, but due to the distance and money, it's not often. I flew out west to meet his family a little over a month ago. I introduced my boyfriend and friend while he was still living here. They got along right away and they have some common interests. and get references that I don't. They got inside jokes.

1:10:38 See, this is.

1:10:40 Oh, I had them both over for video games, and their back and forth made me uneasy, but I chalked it up to my own past experiences and issues with jealousy. Heck, I got jealous when he high-fived a female co-worker a few many times while playing games at a work party, so I'm not exactly the best judge of what to look out for. I acknowledge this flaw in my own judgment, and that's why I'm asking here.

1:11:09 Trust your gut, girl.

1:11:11 But still, when he asked me for her number so she could help him with my Christmas gift, I was hesitant. Christmas gift.

1:11:19 Lies.

1:11:21 Lies.

1:11:21 Lies.

1:11:23 Something in my gut said not to, but I didn't want to think I was untrusting, so I gave it to him. He got me something I already had, and if she had simply looked around my apartment for two seconds, she would have seen that. She comes over often. Yeah. It's probably like an air fryer. He's like, should I get her an air fryer or not?

1:11:42 She's like, yeah, I'll get it for her, and so it's going down.

1:11:44 She didn't have one.

1:11:45 Yeah.

1:11:47 You can't ignore an air fryer.

1:11:49 No, this is terrible. Listen to your gut, girl.

1:11:53 But now they text a weird amount. Not daily, I think, but sometimes she'll text him about something that happened with me and she'll tell me she's doing it and shows me the text. Okay, she's showing him to you, though.

1:12:07 I don't give a, you can delete messages.

1:12:10 Okay.

1:12:10 But the fact that y'all keep Keon without me, you.

1:12:13 Telling my man stories that like, if I, you imagine you go to tell him something and he's like, oh yeah, so and so said that I, cause that's the thing. And you're like, I'm sorry.

1:12:22 What?

1:12:23 Or if something happens in his day and she's the first point of contact.

1:12:27 Yeah.

1:12:27 Like when I have a blonde moment at work or she beats me at a game or she wants him to settle a dispute. It seems like it's always stuff to make fun of me or make me look bad. She also said a few times that he's a really such a good boyfriend, such a sweet guy, etc. When I talk about him, she's also 21.

1:12:46 Listen, I didn't want to do the age thing, but since you brought it up.

1:12:51 Yeah, he's almost 30.

1:12:52 I think you can do the age thing like with anyone under 25 because it's that how much experience in life have they had?

1:13:00 Yeah.

1:13:00 Like, did they just come out of college?

1:13:01 I feel like.

1:13:02 Like, what are we doing here?

1:13:03 At that age, before 25, they just come out of college. They're actually into adulthood and they're doing things that are related to school events. Like, oh, this is such a college, high school thing.

1:13:12 I'm sorry. This is so wrong on so many levels.

1:13:15 Yeah, right. Today we went bowling and she beat me pretty badly. She texted him the score and said, teach your girl how to bowl.

1:13:25 So she want to fight. So she want to fight. That's what this is at. This is what she's saying.

1:13:29 About to throw a bull.

1:13:30 At her head.

1:13:32 Girl. No, ma'am.

1:13:35 Why are you telling my man stuff that I can tell him?

1:13:37 I don't need you texting him.

1:13:38 This turned into her texting him through the whole game and calling to talk to both of us on the drive home. He actually called her phone first because I would be driving and we've lost Drea. She is no longer in the room with us right now.

1:13:55 I'm deceased.

1:13:56 She went to go find this girl.

1:13:58 I'm deceased.

1:13:59 He called her first?

1:14:00 He called her first?

1:14:01 Well, it's because Opie was driving and texting and calling or calling and driving is dangerous.

1:14:06 I don't give a damn if I was in the ambulance. You call me.

1:14:09 Are you?

1:14:09 What is going on?

1:14:11 Oh, my God.

1:14:12 Oh, man.

1:14:12 This is wild.

1:14:13 As if he doesn't call me while I'm driving all the time. During the call, she took my side on something and he joked, that he was breaking up with me, something we both do often over absolutely innocuous things. And it isn't an issue on its own. But then he joked that he would break up with both of us.

1:14:35 He would dump me, date her, then dump her. It bothered me.

1:14:40 So you in a sister wife situation and she don't even know it.

1:14:43 Okay.

1:14:44 Okay.

1:14:44 Here's my thought real quick. Is this what's the worst type of first degree or third degree?

1:14:49 I think it's first. Yeah, I think it's first.

1:14:52 Is this third degree comment or first degree comment? Like, has he been thinking about this comment for a little bit or just in the moment?

1:14:59 No, this is giving first degree.

1:15:01 If you're texting with another female this regularly and you know that we're friends, of course, he's thinking about possibilities of things. He's planting seeds. This is a situation where it's like, oh, yeah, my my ex-boyfriend's not dating my friend.

1:15:13 And I should have known because they were texting the whole time. And how can you trust.

1:15:17 That it's fully platonic? I think it's really difficult to maintain that. And the energy you're giving my man. Girl, where's your man at?

1:15:24 Yeah. Like, Sophia and I, we're like brother and sister at this point. We don't keep up with each other like this. If something crazy happens, she's going to put in two group chats, and then that's how I'm going to hear about it.

1:15:34 Group mother effing chat.

1:15:36 Yeah.

1:15:36 Like, that's it.

1:15:37 Yeah.

1:15:38 Riley and I will text, but it's not like.

1:15:42 You're not kiki-ing like that.

1:15:43 No.

1:15:44 No.

1:15:44 You know?

1:15:45 Unless it's like prank related. And it's like, dude, I cannot wait to see this person's face.

1:15:49 But also, you.

1:15:50 Guys work together.

1:15:51 It's sort of a different thing, you know? This situation is just really strange to me.

1:15:56 Yeah, it is strange on so many levels.

1:15:58 And she has a gut instinct. Listen to it, girl.

1:16:01 I'm telling you. Oh, cherry on top. She jumped in immediately saying that she would call him a creeper for going after someone so much younger.

1:16:12 Stop it.

1:16:13 The conversation changed subjects from there, but she kept texting him while I was driving.

1:16:19 Oh, baby doll.

1:16:20 The car's crashing.

1:16:24 And I'm jumping out of it. 100%. When I dropped her off, I kept talking to him, and we stayed up for a while to talk. I was sleepy and feeling vulnerable, and I asked him if he was interested in her. He said he wasn't at all, and he loved me, and that the age gap was too gross to even think about it.

1:16:43 That's why?

1:16:44 Wow.

1:16:44 Wow.

1:16:47 I mean, this is giving all the signals of a cheating affair is about to happen.

1:16:51 100%.

1:16:51 He's like, babe, she's like 21. You're like, that's not what you're supposed to say.

1:16:56 And it's just words. It should have just ended at that point. That he wasn't at all and that he loved me.

1:17:01 That's it.

1:17:03 Because he's thought about it. He's had some feelings about it and thought about it.

1:17:06 But if she was around my age... You know what?

1:17:08 We maybe have a different story.

1:17:09 He was reassuring and didn't get defensive. He understands that that kind of thing has happened to me before and why I would be on my guard. He said something about brains wanting to tell us our worst fears.

1:17:22 Shut up.

1:17:25 Honestly, there's nothing either of them could say to me that would make me feel reassured. I've been down that road before. I need to know one way or another if anything is going on, even if it's one-sided on either of their parts. I've been up all night thinking about it. I'm afraid that when he visits that they'll hang out alone while I'm at work and I'll look bat crap insane if I tell them I'm not comfortable with it.

1:17:49 You're valid, girl. You're valid.

1:17:51 At this point, though, it's giving idiot. It's giving, what are you doing? It's giving, girl, why are we even, this isn't even a discussion.

1:17:57 Yeah, like, why, you said something slightly to him about this. Why are you not laying it out to him? Like, hey, I don't like what you're doing with this girl. I don't understand why you're doing it.

1:18:09 This is so beyond the Christmas gift, right? Like, and that's wild to me that that's how it started. And she's like, yeah, here you go.

1:18:16 Like, no, this is such a bad idea.

1:18:18 Yeah.

1:18:19 With my girlfriend, she said, whenever we hung out for the first time, she said, I'm doing a fashion show. In May, it was like February when we met. I was like, oh, let me get your number so I know where to.

1:18:28 Get the tickets.

1:18:29 Right.

1:18:29 It's like something like that. It's not about the tickets.

1:18:31 It's about getting her contact.

1:18:33 It's about getting her contact.

1:18:34 And any opportunity for you to have your own separate moments, giggles, laughs. Let me tell you something.

1:18:40 You will not be joking about anything with my man that I don't know about. We don't all be.

1:18:45 Yeah, me too.

1:18:47 OK.

1:18:49 Yeah.

1:18:49 So Opie says short of counting, which worked in the past. What? I'm not sure how I can find out if there are any feelings or activities there without seeming crazy. I'm thinking of telling my boyfriend that I'm not comfortable with their friendship, but I don't know. How well he'll take that if he's being honest. I don't want to drive them away. But every time I shut my eyes, I see them together in front of me, flaunting a new relationship right in front of my face. What do I do?

1:19:18 Is there an update?

1:19:19 No.

1:19:19 Fun fact. There's not?

1:19:21 I checked.

1:19:21 Thank you for checking.

1:19:22 It's five years ago.

1:19:23 Dang it.

1:19:24 If you were at the point of counting, which I've never even heard.

1:19:28 That is wild. Yeah.

1:19:29 If you were there, girl, just throw it in the la basura, in the trash.

1:19:33 It's garbage. Like, go away.

1:19:35 Like who wants to stress themselves out like that? You trying to choke hold a relationship and a man, let it go. Because if you have to think about the fact that your man's maybe having to make a choice, the choice isn't me.

1:19:47 Yeah.

1:19:48 Like I don't even want any part of it.

1:19:49 Exactly.

1:19:50 I don't want any part of you having to decide.

1:19:53 Yeah.

1:19:53 And what does that say about yourself?

1:19:55 Exactly.

1:19:56 It says that, oh, I'm less than this person. I am on some sort of ranking board with my partner.

1:20:02 And with a girl. And how old is she?

1:20:03 27.

1:20:04 Yeah.

1:20:04 No. Boyfriend 27. No.

1:20:04 I thought he was 29.

1:20:08 I can look.

1:20:09 I think he's 29. The girl's 21. And maybe she's 27. Somebody's 29.

1:20:13 29, 29.

1:20:13 They're both 29. They're both 30.

1:20:16 No.

1:20:17 And she's 21.

1:20:17 Oh, my God. And listen, let me tell you, as a woman, and you get older, and you're hitting 30, and these little pop tarts who are 20-something. I call anybody under 25 as a pop tart. It's like you start thinking about all this stuff. And especially living in LA, you see all these women all the time. And it just starts to feel overwhelming a little bit. Like, you can be confident in yourself.

1:20:37 You can be confident in yourself. you know, self-worth, all the things.

1:20:40 And that's great. But like my man is texting with a 21 year old. Just tap me out.

1:20:46 I want nothing to do with it.

1:20:48 I'm out.

1:20:48 And that's the end of this story.