My wife got rich and became EMBARASSED of me... so I'm filling for divorce! -r/BestofRedditorUpdates | Reddit Stories | EP3127

0:00 Hey, this is Dakota.

0:01 And this is Angie, your favorite OK Storytime hosts, and we've got some great stories coming up.

0:06 But before that, we have a quick two-minute break from the sponsors that keep the show alive. My wife got rich and became embarrassed of me, so I'm filing for divorce.

0:17 Now you'll get rich, too.

0:18 I know I probably won't get anything meaningful from Reddit, but at this stage of life, I don't have a single soul to talk to.

0:25 That's sad.

0:26 I met my wife when I was 15 in high school. She was 17. That latter part of my teenage years was probably the hardest of my life, since in half a year I lost my mother. I never knew my dad, so she was the only thing I could consider family. At that time, me and my wife were only friends, but she was there for me and grieved with me.

0:47 I think I started developing feelings for her during that time. We started dating when I was 17, and we got married seven years later. For context, my wife was very frugal. and unmaterialistic. She never cared about clothes, makeup, brands, cars, etc. Always spending money on thrift shops or during sales on whatever she liked. I remember trying to impress her with my 370Z just for her to react with, what car is this, a Corolla? Which, it's not a Corolla.

1:15 It's my brother, it's a Nissan.

1:17 Corolla is a respectable vehicle.

1:19 Obviously, your wife has not seen Fast and Furious Tokyo Drift.

1:22 So, yeah, I think you get the type. By the way, this comes from user PassengerTraining913. And just to be clear, that doesn't really make me get the type just because she doesn't know what a 370Z is. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit. I'm Dakota.

1:41 I'm Keon.

1:42 And we're going to read this story and have our thoughts. You get to listen to it and have yours in the comments. We're going to try our best, but we don't know everything. In fact, we don't know most stuff. Here we go. That's what I liked about her the most. And also, she was also the most caring person I ever knew. In our family, she's the successful one, always working in big corporations. Regarding myself, I always worked as a community first responder for my local hospital. The salary wasn't high, but I loved my job, helping people as I could. Fast forward two years ago, she received an offer from an important company for an executive position, offering four, yes, four times her salary. And let me tell you, her

2:23 salary wasn't bad by any means. But we should have had to move to a different city. At first, I was doubtful since that would have meant losing my job and not being sure if I could have contributed financially to our family for an indefinite time period. But she said that she could have sustained the family effortlessly with this new job. And for that time, I could have looked after the house and groceries until I found a new job. Since she was so enthusiastic, I accept it.

2:49 I was happy to support my wife's career. Well, the best way I can put it is that my wife underwent a crazy transformation. Some Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde type thing, if you know what I mean. She started caring more and more about luxury brands, jewels, cars, etc. I don't think you can quite imagine my disbelief seeing her coming back home with a Versace bag after seeing her for years wearing... $ 10 coats from our local thrift shop.

3:18 She also started hanging out with her new female co-workers a lot. My wife isn't very extroverted or very social, so that was quite the shock, but I was very, very happy for her. I thought that she finally found her dimension after years of struggling. But that happiness started fading after she started coming home way later every day.

3:37 And later and later. Until it was a miracle to be able to talk to her for 10 minutes during the day. I thought it was... Just her being very busy with work, since being an executive means lots of work. Until she started posting lots of photos of her with her co-workers drinking and shopping and all that stuff. The fun part is she never finds time to reply to my texts, but she always has a minute to post photos.

4:04 And when she replies, she says that she's working. She also literally stopped saying things to me altogether. Have you ever experienced your wife or husband going to work With an Audi A3 and then coming back home with a Porsche Macan GTS? Well, I did, and let me tell you, it's no fun.

4:20 Maybe for you. For them, probably a lot of fun.

4:24 I mean, has there been any open conversation about this?

4:28 She's too busy working.

4:29 But you said she came home with the Porsche.

4:31 What I'm getting a sense of, and it's a rut row, it's the Metal Gear Alert sound, is a Your wife really hasn't been single.

4:41 And you guys, she's 26.

4:43 Single with money.

4:44 Single with money.

4:46 And she's hanging out with a lot of probably single female coworkers who have money.

4:53 She's gotten a taste of it. And I think she likes the taste.

4:56 Uh-oh.

4:57 Yeah, I don't see that ending well.

4:59 Yeah, especially that she brings a lot of money to the table.

5:05 I confronted her on if it was a business-issued car, which it isn't. Then on why she spent so much money on a car when she didn't care not even a little about cars. Her passive-aggressive response was that it's her money and she's entitled to do as she pleases.

5:22 Yeah, that wasn't the right question.

5:25 Or have you experienced not seeing your wife or husband coming back home for a night and not replying to texts just to receive a call the following afternoon saying she forgot to tell me that she left for a business trip? Well, I hope you haven't. But the worst is when she invited me for lunch with her coworkers.

5:42 I was very happy because that was the first time we were doing something together in months. And I thought that what I've experienced before was only a phase and that it was all ended. My wife left first because she had work to do, so I dressed up nicely and left two hours after to the scheduled restaurant. For context, I'd sold years before my car because I didn't need a sports car anymore, so my daily driver has become a very fugal Renault Clio.

6:11 Very car-centric story here.

6:13 Very... Where do they drive Renaults?

6:16 France.

6:16 Okay.

6:17 Think of like a small Italian or French... Yeah.

6:19 It's probably just a standard small car. Nothing fancy. Gets you from point A to point B.

6:24 I like it. And since I don't need that much, I don't have reasons to upgrade to a pricier model or brand. Well, I get to the restaurant, park my car in front of it. I get inside just to see my wife staring at me in horror. She gets up from the table and takes me outside of the restaurant, then proceeds to literally insult me for parking my Clio in front of the restaurant and in front of her table, saying that I embarrassed her and that I should have parked it somewhere hidden.

6:50 Ooh.

6:52 Well, if it's so disgusting, I should just go.

6:56 Yeah, that's insane. Okay.

7:00 One, you didn't tell me where to park, so I found a nice spot right up front. Are we upset about this?

7:04 Yeah.

7:05 Oh, Peter, embarrassing me.

7:07 How dare you drive that trash mobile here to this restaurant to meet my friends? I'm embarrassed.

7:13 I think I might break up literally in that instant. I think it might be like a, oh, yeah, I'm going to tell you right now, sweetie. Money doesn't buy class. This is done. We're done.

7:24 Yikes.

7:24 You get her with the kingpin. It's not about the money, Spider-Man.

7:29 Not to mention like the power play of like doing this while her friends are inside.

7:32 Oh, yeah.

7:33 So it's like she actually.

7:35 This is your first impression.

7:36 She made it more awkward and more embarrassing by making a huge thing out of it. in front of all her friends. So she kind of fulfilled her own prophecy there. Either that or it was like a power play to like, I don't know, but regardless, it's like, it's so dumb that it blows straight through to like, oh, we should just stop. We should stop this.

7:59 Yeah, especially coming from a person who was very frugal, didn't care about any materialistic things. That's not your wife anymore, my guy.

8:06 I was at a complete loss for words. I asked her why, and she said that it was a cheap, non-luxury car, not representative of her lifestyle. She then gets back inside the restaurant, warning me not to embarrass her like this again. I attended the rest of the lunch in shock. That day I realized that that girl I had at my side was not my wife. It wasn't the girl I married anymore. My wife is now out of the house, celebrating a great year for the company, and I'm here at home writing this with the divorce papers in front of me. I don't think I can handle this situation anymore. I tried lots and lots of times to talk to her, to tell her how I feel, to tell her that she changed, that she's not the same woman I knew. but she just doesn't listen. She

8:49 always says that she has no time and she needs to work, or she tries to minimize the situation, saying that it's not true and that she never changed. She wanted kids, now she doesn't want them anymore, saying that they would rob her time from her career.

9:04 Ooh, yeah, I'm not gonna lie. Good thing you guys don't have kids because she wouldn't be a mother.

9:10 She's not a partner.

9:11 She wanted to travel, but now she doesn't want to do it for the same reason. Is she really the same woman I married?

9:18 No.

9:18 Agreed. But still, I can't bring myself to talk about divorce with her. Most likely because I hope that somewhere hidden inside of her, there's still the woman I loved and still love. Even if this doesn't seem like the case. Well, we've got some comments. But yeah, it sounds like you're at the end of that situation.

9:37 She's a different person now.

9:39 And.

9:39 It's a phrase, money talks, and the money's talking to her, and it's talking to you in both different ways. To her, it's what she wants. She wants more money. She wants a career.

9:51 That's her focus.

9:53 And the money talking to you is you're not in that picture for her.

9:57 Cassowary32 says... you talked to a therapist? You need to start building a life you want. And in time, it will be clear if staying married to her adds to your life. Are you working? Do you have your own circle of friends? Are there any hobbies you're interested in? You've mentioned your frugality, but not anything else that brought joy into your lives. Did you enjoy cooking or traveling or seeing movies, shows, charity work? Do you still want kids?

10:26 Opie says, I haven't talked to a therapist yet, but I'm planning to do so. I'm still working as a community first responder. However, the salary is way lower compared to what I was earning in my hometown. I lost most of my friends after I moved in with my wife. I'm still in touch with a couple of them, but I've been hearing from them a lot less in those past few months. In this new city, I never had the opportunity to know new people, since I've been very busy with work and housework. Regarding hobbies, well, I like cars and working on them. I love traveling, and yes, I do charity when I have the opportunity. But since you don't have fixed hours in my job, it's very hard to make plans. I would like to have kids,

11:07 and it was something me and my wife were looking forward to in the past before all this happened. Same commenter replies, if she's really making so much more money, can't you hire a cleaner or chef to give you more time? Are your finances completely separated? Have you talked about budgets and saving for the future? What's the point of having a partnership if only one person is benefiting from it? You either need to make a concerted effort to bloom where you are, or you need to return to your previous city. This isolation isn't good for you.

11:35 OP says, well, I don't need a chef or a cleaner since most of the time it's just me and the dog at home. My wife is either working out with coworkers or in business trips most of the time, so I manage the housework quite effectively. Our finances are separated, but we have a joint bank account for the house, groceries, and everything that concerns daily necessities. We talked in the past about savings since she wanted to travel around the world whenever we had money and the chance, but she changed her mind about it and we never spoke about it again. If worse comes to worse, getting back to my hometown is the plan. I'm trying to get accustomed here, but it doesn't feel like it's my place. Also, work

12:10 makes it harder. More from OP. OP says, It's been a long time since we did something affectionate together, half a year or more. I try to make plans with her, but she's always busy with work or with her coworkers. I don't check her socials very often since I don't like social media, but I remember seeing photos and stories of her with a bunch of dudes and women... who she said to be her co-workers. I met three of them in that lunch. Thank you for your concern. And there is an update.

12:40 I want to know first, I want to know how that lunch went with her co-workers. Because you said that's the first time you guys have done anything in a long time. What was their impression of them? And then what was their impression of you?

12:52 I think OP just said that they were like shocked after that happened.

12:56 I know OP was shocked.

12:57 They just sat there.

12:58 Well, OP said he was shocked at his like how his wife treated him. But like, did the friends like, oh, my gosh, she brings you up all the time. Or like she talks about you forever.

13:09 I'm sure he sat there uncomfortably in relative silence.

13:13 OP, you've known your wife for a long time. You've been together for a while. You went through your 20s, your late teens together. This girl, she's a boss lady.

13:23 And I hate to say it, but she's probably cheating on you.

13:25 If she's not cheating on you, she's definitely not with you.

13:28 She's displaying all of the hallmark signs, but she might not be.

13:34 And everyone says, oh, time is money, time is money. To have even just a simple conversation with your partner and you don't have time for that, it just goes to show she's not willing to make the time for that. Yeah. Which is already just a truth bomb in your face.

13:50 Well, there is an update. After that business party, my wife didn't come back home. I tried contacting her since I was very worried, but she didn't pick up the phone, not even once. She came back home in the morning exactly when I was about to leave for her workplace to ask about her. I asked her what happened, and she said she stayed at this female co-worker's house since she drank a lot and she was in no condition to drive. Fair enough. I told her that she could have sent a text to warn me and that I would have gone to get her. Her response was, with what?

14:20 The Cleo?

14:21 That's crazy. Again, doesn't care about you anymore. It's all about image. It's all about covering face. And at this point, you know what? We break up.

14:30 It's over. It's divorce.

14:32 I stood there in silence. And she later said that she forgot about warning me. I asked how she was feeling only to be answered in monosyllables. We minded our own business for a while. Then she comes to me and she says she has something to discuss. I tell her that I have something to discuss with her too.

14:50 And well, would you look at that? She asked for divorce. I wasn't expecting that at all. I asked her why. And her reply was that after talking to her friends, she understood that I wasn't fit to be her husband. that we have different values and different lifestyles, and that she deserves a man of a similar worth compared to her.

15:08 Oh my god.

15:10 Yeah, she's not blatantly saying it, but she has been... If not emotionally or physically cheating on you, she's at least moved on from you.

15:19 Just what a... Such a classic, like, I guarantee you this woman's not very bright because it is the classic dumbass move to equate the amount of money that you make with your worth as a person.

15:34 Yeah.

15:35 Just the most, like, shallow, vapid belief a person can have is that my income is a direct reflection of how valuable I am as an individual.

15:47 Yep.

15:47 And you know what? I hate to say it, O.P., I mean, we have said it. We've said it. Your wife, the one that you married long gone.

15:55 I hate to break it to you, but she was probably like this forever. If she had had money growing up, this would have been who she was. She just never did. And so she was just in that weird little like, you know, egg version of herself where she hadn't hatched and become this money monster.

16:12 I would say I guarantee.

16:14 You it was like it wasn't like this or she would never been like this. I think it's the single friends, the female co-workers, who are whispering sweet nothings to her. And she's spending 24-7 with them, spending time with her friends 24-7 over you. Yeah, she got that taste of the lifestyle. She liked the taste of it. And she stuck with it.

16:36 Yeah.

16:36 Yeah.

16:37 There's also the being together since what?

16:39 17.

16:40 She was 19 and you were 17. 20.

16:42 You're 20. It's whatever.

16:44 Just for her to go about it this way.

16:46 I don't know. She's not your wife. She's shallow.

16:49 Yeah. She's trash, bro.

16:51 You can have all the money in the world.

16:52 You'll do better.

16:53 But she's a shallow person. I'm the trash man.

16:56 She eats garbage. She was just waiting for the right time to bring it up. And after the party, she made up her mind. I'm going to be completely honest, that was a low blow. But I just smiled at her. I tried talking to her, proposing to separate for a while to see how things could go. I even proposed couples therapy like someone suggested, but she was adamant on divorce.

17:16 So yeah, OP. There's no point to... You've asked, you tried. She never gave... Yeah, look.

17:22 Where you guys are at.

17:24 Yeah, it's just not happening. So I calmly told her everything I needed to say. From the fact that I was thinking about divorce too, to the fact that I felt like she changed, concluding saying that I'm sure she will find an awesome man since I know her worth, having been her husband for more than nine years, but that I know what I'm worth too. We decided to separate for the moment, and we will arrange the divorce later on, since she has no time now. But we have a verbal agreement on some things. I decided to go back to my hometown to relax, and to decide what's next for me. I should be able to regain my previous position in the hospital, but it's wait and see. Also, one of my friends there offered to host me until

18:06 I found housing. I'm really grateful for him. But while I understand that my wife couldn't care less about me when the lengthiest discussion we had concerned about who was taking the dog context, we got him a month after moving. since she always wanted one and to keep me some company, but in two years, she probably spent the equivalent of two hours with him. I always took care of him, and, well, he's been a more than loyal companion in those two years. So, she literally made a fuss about the fact that I couldn't take the dog with me for maybe half an hour or so. I told her that I didn't care at all what she said. I was taking him with me, since she doesn't have time to care for him, and it was very strange for her to say those things

18:47 when she didn't care, not even a bit. about him for two years. So I packed the necessities, and before leaving, I asked her if she was cheating on me, and she denied it. And I will trust her on that. Good job, brother. Might as well just let that lay where it does. Who cares?

19:04 Yeah, at this point, it's over anyway.

19:07 I read a lot of people in the previous post talking about hiring a PI, but I'm not going to do that. I trust what she said, and even if it wasn't the truth, I honestly don't want to hear anything about it. It would only make me feel worse. I feel calm... But inside, I feel like I've lost an important piece of myself. The things she said didn't hurt me initially. However, the more I think about them, the more heartbroken I feel. But I'm trying to focus on nicer thoughts. Like meeting one of my old friends that I haven't seen in a long time. Happy divorce, I guess?

19:37 Oh, OP.

19:38 I mean, it should have been sooner. I mean, she dragged you for a long time. At least with the new job. She dragged you on for a while.

19:47 Your relationship? Is at a standstill, and that's not fair. But that's a relationship.

19:52 It's two people. You can put all the effort you want into it. If they're not going to put a single ounce, hate to break it to you.

19:58 That's the truth.

19:59 Hate to break you. Break to hate you.

20:01 All you can do right now, OP, is just live your life. It's going to be hard for a little bit, but I think you'll be all right. You're still young.

20:08 Yeah.

20:09 We're older than you.

20:10 Yeah.

20:11 Oh.

20:11 Yeah.

20:12 I'm still trying to process everything. It all happened so fast. Though I must say that seeing my dog so happy inside the Cleo brightened up my mood a lot.

20:22 Aw.

20:23 He loves car rides.

20:24 Clear.

20:25 Even if things went down this road, I still wish her all the best. I can never forget what she did back then for me and in general in those 16 years we spent together as a couple. I may do another update in the future about how things went, but for now, goodbye. I will take some time to focus on myself and on the upcoming divorce. Thanks to everyone.

20:44 Take care. And that is the end of that story.

20:47 Oh, OP. Hard. Rough.

20:50 Money's corrupting, man. Money corrupts. It gets its little tendrils in you and it goes.

20:58 You tried.

20:59 You can try and try again, but... That's, uh... At least you have the dog. You have yourself. I think you'll be okay.

21:08 Yeah.

21:09 Start building cars. You're a car guy.

21:11 You better be okay or I'm going to come find you.

21:14 Start drifting.

21:15 But that is the end of that story.

21:17 Get into underground street races. My co-worker's wife exposed my wife's affair, so I called a lawyer.

21:24 Everybody's involved in your wife's affair.

21:26 So.

21:27 The co-worker's wife found out and told me about it, which led me to checking our phone records to find over 4,000 texts between the two in two weeks.

21:38 That's a lot of texts.

21:39 Do you want to do some simple math?

21:41 That's too many texts. Could you do.

21:44 I want you to do the math on how many texts per day at least.

21:47 4,000 divided by 10, 400. Okay.

21:49 So.

21:52 You divide it by a little more. It's like somewhere between 300 and 400 texts every day.

21:56 All right, sly guy over there. Opie continues saying, I am so done with this crap, but I need help. Me, 28 male, and my wife, 29 female, are both at work. Do I text her now that she needs to pack a bag and be out of the house tonight? We don't have any friends or family close that she can stay at. We are short on money, but at least she just got our tax refund. So she can afford a hotel or something. We have a 15-month-old daughter. Oh no.

22:23 I do not know if she's going to want to take her with her or not. Or if she will fight me on forcing her out or not. Or what to do about anything. Any advice would be appreciated. By the way, this comes from user 203040. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit.

22:41 I'm Keon.

22:41 I'm Dakota.

22:42 And we're here to give good advice goofily. Dakota and I are just goofballs. We don't know everything. We only know what we do. So let us know what you do in the comments down below. Pretty, pretty, please.

22:51 Tell your 15-month-old about this.

22:54 Ask them what they think.

22:55 Let them decide. Yes.

22:57 As OP says, edit. Okay, there's a little edit here. I calm down.

23:02 I will confront her tonight, but I do not see a scenario where this works out.

23:06 And we have an update.

23:08 Yeah, I don't think it's gonna work out.

23:10 4,000 texts in two weeks.

23:13 That's a lot of texts.

23:15 Genuinely, that's an insane amount.

23:17 That's a lot of texts.

23:18 But we have an update.

23:19 I confronted her. She says, they're just friends. I didn't bring up that I know how much she texts together. I asked to see her phone and she says, no. I'm talking to a lawyer tomorrow. Thanks for the help. And we have another edit. I understand my original post was a bit off an initial reaction to what I was feeling. There are a lot of other factors at play when it comes to this decision. So it isn't necessarily a... crazy reaction to a bunch of texts to a coworker.

23:48 Update two.

23:48 So I talked with the phone company and I do need a subpoena to receive the message logs. I tried to talk to her this morning to see if there is any kind of fight against this, but there isn't. She wants us to just split so she can be alone. Oh, I'm great with that. Except I'm not going on this separation thing if she's just going to have another relationship with somebody else. They've texted approximately 100 times just this morning.

24:13 But it is too busy at work to talk to me?

24:16 Truly, what are they saying?

24:18 I need to know what they're talking about. Are they doing like the alphabet game? A, B, C, D, E, F, G.

24:25 Like truly, they are completely obsessed with each other.

24:29 They are talking more than high school girls text each other. Truly.

24:34 What I can't understand is texting somebody like that If you know that they're married to somebody with a 15 month old at home, like what? Like, how could you then be like, yeah, I'm down to facilitate you betraying your family and cheating on your partner and having this thing together?

24:55 We I mean, postpartum.

24:57 Sure.

24:57 15 months. But like, this is crazy. We have an update three one month later. She's looking for an apartment to move out and I will stay at the house. My buddy is moving in early May, so I will be able to afford mortgage utilities while we figure out splitting finances. I forget all what I said in the original post, but a few weeks ago, she finally confessed that she will be pursuing a relationship.

25:20 With the guy as soon as we split.

25:22 Oh.

25:23 He apparently has already left his wife and kids and moved into a new apartment. I know that this is the best thing for both of us, as well as our baby girl. I know what it is like to grow up in a house with parents that don't love each other, I do not want that for her. I still need to pursue therapy to help me through this.

25:39 I have a lot of problems, and I am really good at keeping them inside. My friend is actually concerned on how calm I am being throughout all of this. I just don't see a point to getting overly upset. It's for the best. I don't know what other updates there may be in the future. Thank you to those who reached out asking how I have been. Guess what?

25:55 We have an update for.

25:57 Oh boy!

25:58 Ugh, OP. I want to hug you. Just a nice long hug.

26:02 Just a big, long squeeze. Update four.

26:06 Another month later. So, she moved into her new apartment a few weeks ago. I don't talk much with her. Just to figure out when we hand off our daughter. I don't know the exact living arrangements between her and the other guy, nor do I want to know. The thought of it is surreal to me. My buddy moved in with me that next weekend. It's been a good time having him here. It makes it so I can keep the house and we are talking about starting our own company. He asks all the time about how I'm doing, but I just say I'm okay or just fine. But we went out to a couple bars with friends and it was really a good time. Definitely what I needed and I look forward to the summer. I told my boss about the situation and took a couple days off.

26:42 My buddy jokes that it's because I get too... Too wasted. But really, it's just been difficult to get out of bed. This week has been a little bit easier, and next week will even be easier.

26:51 Hopefully.

26:52 My mom and.

26:53 Brother know, but I haven't told my dad yet or anyone else in my family. I plan to take my daughter this weekend to them to let them know. And I don't look forward to it. My wife has a new job and is signing up for health insurance, but her company doesn't give insurance to a spouse if you are separated. So I will have to figure out what to do for insurance until next January. when I can get back on my company's insurance. And I also need to figure out my finances. A little bit left to this story. I just like how these updates are just like straight to the point.

27:23 Just this is life. This is it.

27:25 This is that.

27:25 This is where she's at. This is where I am. Okay.

27:28 I hope your daughter is okay.

27:30 I hope your.

27:30 Family can support you. It does seem like, you know, it's okay to ask for help. You have your friend helping you, but in your mom... knows, some of your family knows, but I think it's okay to ask for help. This is a tough time for you. Therapy, for sure, will help, and I think you're going about this in the right way and with your head up, and you're getting accustomed to this new life. It sucks, but you're doing it the right way. There's a little bit left here.

27:57 Let's go ahead and finish up the story. Opie says, I need to scrap the budget I made for the two of us and create one just for me. And factor in my buddy's rent as now, because I am a landlord. I have been drinking a lot, And I don't get a lot of sleep. And I've had an abnormal amount of nightmares. That's because you've been drinking a lot and not getting enough sleep. That sounds like a good diagnosis to me. That sounds like a math problem that makes sense. I've also eaten like complete crap. I can change these things. I just don't want to right now.

28:27 The only way to successfully move on from this is to live a happy and healthy life. I will get there in time. I rarely ever express my emotions or talk about what's going on with me. So thanks for the platform.

28:38 There's an edit.

28:39 I spoke with HR, and her switching jobs counts as a drop in coverage and qualifies me to get back onto my employer's insurance. That's one headache bypassed.

28:47 Nice. Well, you gotta just go one headache at a time.

28:50 Yeah, no need to rush. This is a step-by-step situation, OP, but do what's best for you. You know what's best for.

28:58 You, and I think you're just going through the motions, and you'll get out of there, hopefully sooner than later, and you'll be okay. That is the end of that story, and we've got another one coming right up.

29:08 Hey, it's Dakota, your favorite good time boy host here. We're going to get back to the stories, but here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors. My husband swore his boss was just like a sister, but their texts are something else.

29:23 It's a brother.

29:24 My husband, 42 male, quit his job recently because he was unhappy with the company. He would always complain about the long hours and frequently complained about his supervisor. According to him, she was very demanding, but they eventually became friends. I, 35 female, was sending myself pictures.

29:30 Hmm.

29:30 Cue the Journey song. Hmm. He asks her, what do you want in the end? She says she wants a good friend. He asks, but you still love me? Her reply was, no, I love you like a friend, but nothing more than that. Then his last message to her was, I would try to see you as a friend again then.

30:17 Oh. Oh.

30:19 Oh, so it's all there.

30:20 He quit because he got friendzoned.

30:22 By the way, this comes from Pico La Rose. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash OK Storytime subreddit. I'm Dakota.

30:31 I'm Keon.

30:32 We're going to read this here story. We're going to give some advice, goofily, maybe. I don't know. We don't have all the answers to everything.

30:38 So.

30:38 Let us know what you would do in the comments because we're going to tell you just what we would do. Maybe. And Opie says, probably not. At this point, a lot of anxious thoughts are running through my head, but I'm trying to see this from a point where it's not what it appears to be. I need advice on where to go from here. How should I talk to him about this? And there's an update.

30:57 Ooh, you talk to him. You just go, do you love me like a partner or do you love me like a friend?

31:03 Babe, are you in love with your wife or your work wife? You can only have one. Update. So I did further digging through his phone. This coworker was his supervisor and she's married. They did quite a lot of texting and he barely mentioned having a wife until things went south. Based on their text, they ate lunch every day together. Apparently, she developed feelings for him, but felt guilty.

31:25 I'm sorry, was he not wearing a ring?

31:27 I guess not. He said he saw her as a sister, but would be in a relationship with her if she wasn't married.

31:33 Weird.

31:34 That's a weird, weird statement.

31:35 That is the weirdest, the weirdest possible combo you could have laid out there, brother.

31:40 That is not a wombo combo. That is a weird combo.

31:42 I see you as a sister and I love you, but if I wasn't in a relationship, I would be dating you.

31:48 I would marry you as a sister.

31:49 What? He was happy that she needed him. He mentioned hating his job, but staying for her, a friend he loved and really liked. He said he knows she will never love him as much as her husband. She wanted to get over her feelings by creating distance and asked him to stop hugging her so much. But he guilt tripped her into thinking she was being dramatic.

32:07 Yo, your husband's weird.

32:10 Yo, your husband's a real piece of work, dude.

32:12 Your husband's weird.

32:13 He said he worked too hard for their friendship and didn't want her to leave his life. She was definitely obsessive with the texts when he didn't reply to her. This was usually when he and I were out doing things. She did this repeatedly, but he always forgave her. Eventually, she said she wanted distance no matter what he thought and blocked him. Two days after that text, she unblocked him and asked why he was talking in the work chat when he never does. He ignored her. I confronted him about this and he said he was afraid of her and didn't want to worry me.

32:45 Yeah.

32:45 Yeah. I'm afraid of her.

32:48 I'm afraid of my sister that I want to marry. Yeah.

32:50 It's just that I don't buy it. No one should buy that. Especially with the whole, like, she's like, stop hugging me so much. I want to create distance so I don't have these feelings. He's like, shut up. You're crazy. I love you, bestie. He said he really liked his department and was afraid she would blow up and remove him if she found out he was married. After she unblocked him and questioned why he was talking in work chat, he went to management with her obsessive, angry texts and ended up in another department that he hated. That's why he quit. The conversation I saw was her trying to get closure after he admitted to being married. That's why she asked about going their separate ways. In the text

33:29 before that, she said she didn't want to try anymore, but he asks her why? He asks to give them a month to cool off and recover from their drama? He ignored this last part when I confronted him, but he blocked her. I accepted my husband's explanation until I noticed him talking on the phone with someone for several hours a week later.

33:48 Hold on, you accepted this? You went, yeah, it sounds about right. That's okay.

33:53 I can understand in the moment it's shocking. You're trying to be like, okay, well, he was a victim of like workplace intimidation and like she wanted this and he didn't. And then you go, wait, but what about those texts where you were literally keeping the dynamic the same, where you were trying to make this thing? He's like, I'm just not going to talk about that. It's like, yeah, he knew what he was doing. And then it backfired on him. And he was like, oh, man, this is crazy.

34:23 This is all insane because he did state, I hate this job, but I'm only here because I love you.

34:29 I love you as a sister.

34:32 Without my husband knowing, I contacted her to ask what's going on.

34:35 According.

34:36 to her my husband used to creep her out by waiting for her after her shift but she gave him the benefit of the doubt and befriended him she admitted to developing feelings but felt guilty and wanted to not be such close friends she apologized for being obsessive and didn't know he was married she said her anger towards my husband before he quit was because he stopped pulling his weight around the time she wanted distance she said they blocked each other and she wants to work on her marriage afterwards i blocked her and had a talk with my husband And there's an edit. I read all of your responses. I gave it some more thought last night.

35:11 I am going to get a divorce.

35:13 Nice.

35:14 Yay.

35:15 That's what we do to this man. We divorce him.

35:18 You'd be like, I'm going to divorce you like a husband.

35:21 Yay.

35:21 Not a brother.

35:24 Yay.

35:24 I booked a flight ticket to stay with my parents while I figure out what steps to take for this transition. He was in tears, yelling that the co-worker was the obsessive one. He only engaged with her to keep her from lashing out. He said he only felt sorry for her. But why couldn't he just tell management? I stayed because of the time cost fallacy, but I deserve better.

35:46 And that is the end of that story. Yes, you do deserve better. Yes, you do. And you're going to get it. And guess what he's going to do right now? He's going to message that co-worker again. Hey, guess who's single?

35:56 Yeah, that is what he's going to do. And that's on him. But that is the end of that story. My girlfriend's family treats us like outcasts because they still prefer her ex.

36:08 Ooh, no, no, no.

36:10 That's not good. I, 24 male, met Sally, 48 female, in early 2016 at a soccer game. At first, we were just friends chatting, but it became flirty within a few weeks, I would say. I've never had a thing for older women. She never had a thing for younger men. We had always dated people our own age. Sally even had a husband her age for 25 years.

36:37 Wow.

36:38 But we just clickety-clicked.

36:41 Oh.

36:41 As we like to say. Clickety-click-clacked. Hate that. And despite the age difference, we were both really enjoying each other. Each other's bodies. By the way, this comes from Ironic Swells. And if you want to submit your own story, go to the r slash ok story time subreddit. I'm Dakota.

36:57 I'm Savannah.

36:58 I'm Riley.

36:58 I'm Riley.

36:59 We're going to read this story. We're going to be like, ew, she's old. But if you think that's way out of pocket, let us know in the comments. And OP says, that June, happy pride, we started to date.

37:12 Really?

37:12 You got into a straight relationship in June?

37:14 Yeah, what's wrong with you?

37:17 A year goes by of long distance dating. And next June, I moved across the country to be with her permanently. We've been living together for two years now in her neck of the woods. relatively close to most of her friends and family. Despite my family and friends being cool with me dating someone older, I definitely did expect some backlash from people in Sally's life, and so did she.

37:42 And maybe looking back at it, it was silly, but I thought that eventually, even though at first they wouldn't see it, her friends and family would eventually come around and realize that what we had wasn't any type of cougar-cub-sugar-mama-baby relationship.

37:56 Cougar-cub?

37:59 That is so new.

38:01 Say that five times fast. I like Duchess just says, wrinkly boob. Winkly boob.

38:12 She's got some wrinkly wobblers on her. I don't know if they wrinkle. She's got some wrinkly wobblers. We both have jobs and pay bills together. I guess what I'm trying to say is our relationship is so much more than our ages. I'm really mature for my age. Like, honestly, for now, for now, in 30 years, she'll be 78 and you'll be 54, which doesn't seem like that much of a difference, but I feel like it totally is. Anyway, I really wanted Sally's family to eventually understand that. Coming up on two years of being together, though, I am pretty close to giving up on forging any kind of relationship with her family. It has been absolutely dreadful being with some of Sally's friends and her mother's side of

38:57 the family. These people see nothing beyond their good old Sally going insane and deciding to be with someone half her age. They have zero respect for me and very little for Sally's choice to be with me. We had Sally's lifelong best friend and husband over one weekend. And they deliberately treated me like crap, going so far as to make fun of my political opinions that I didn't bring up, by the way. They just assumed I leaned left because I'm young, I guess. And they also asked Sally how her ex-husband was doing in front of me, saying that she and her husband really missed seeing him around.

39:37 Her aunt and uncle is another thing. Sally has three aunts, and I've only met one at length. One night... During a beach trip last year, I had went to bed and Sally stayed up talking to her aunt who starts asking if Sally is okay. Is she seeing a psychiatrist, etc. And finished it up with, you know, you really made a mistake leaving your ex-husband and all of his money.

40:03 I mean, like, okay, honestly, if we strip all this away, you go, girl.

40:09 Whatever.

40:10 Yeah.

40:10 Yeah.

40:11 You go, girl. You got money.

40:12 You got a little man, young dude.

40:15 And he's not 19. You didn't know him when he was a child.

40:20 Five years older.

40:21 I mean, like.

40:22 This boy is about to become a man. And he's about to have a mortgage and student debt.

40:28 It just sounds like everyone in your life is low-key kind of jealous. Not going to lie. This year at Sally's cousin's birthday, her aunt treated us like complete charity cases. She and her husband pulled Sally away from me at the party to ask if she needed money, if she wanted to write her a check, and if she needed the number of anyone to talk to. I felt so ashamed, embarrassed, and wondered if it would be best for me to not come on trips where her extended family was involved.

41:01 Let's see how girthy these aunts are.

41:02 Oh yeah.

41:04 Sally has tried telling these people that her ex-husband was terrible during the final few years, and she left. Her ex-husband is even telling people the truth about what happened if they ask. Still, her family will not listen. I want us to be validated in their eyes for my sake, but especially Sally's. It weighs heavily on her that she chose happiness over a terrible partner with money. And the ones that love her can't see that because I'm so young.

41:36 We don't care what people think or assume about us, but it would be really nice to have Sally's family in our corner instead of against us. What should I do? What can Sally and I do to improve these relationships? Is it a lost cause? Is two years not long enough to expect people to come around? I'm really lost.

41:56 Thank you in advance. That is the end of that story.

41:59 There's not... You can't control what others think. Like, that's what you have to... That's what it all comes down to. Is you can't be like, oh, I just really want their approval. I really want them to like me. I really... You know, yeah, you can be... Of course, everyone wants to be on good terms with the person's... Your partner's family and friends and everything. But also, it's just... You can't force them. Hopefully, however much time it takes for them to be comfortable, maybe they'll notice it. I'm not really sure. But the thing is, you can't force them, and you can't just keep worrying about that. Worry about what you two, your relationship, how you two are communicating, how that's working out. It is a little weird, but

42:51 weird is also fun. So I don't know.

42:54 Go on.

42:55 Go out and do things, and don't worry about what other people say.

42:59 And that's the end of this story. Let's head to the next one.

43:03 My parents called my girlfriend disgusting, and I couldn't tolerate it.

43:08 Gross.

43:09 So I, 32 female, have been dating my girlfriend, I'll call Ruby, 48 female, for around 10 months. Yes, I'm well aware of our age gap. I'm a fully grown woman. I can make my own choices.

43:26 Hell yeah.

43:27 Vivi treats me well, and she's been the first in a long string of crappy exes to do so.

43:33 You both are in your 30s.

43:34 I don't think there's age gap anything within your 30s. When you turn 30, you can date anyone at whatever age.

43:40 By the way, this comes from Bad Professional 3445, and if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash okay story time subreddit. I'm Savannah.

43:48 Dakota. I'm Riley.

43:49 You can date anyone at any age after 20.

43:54 Or older.

43:54 I was just saying you can get a cougar after 30 and it's fine.

43:58 As long as the age goes up. All right. We're here. We're on the same page.

44:03 And we're here to give some good advice in a little goofy way, but we don't have all the answers. We can only tell you what we would do in this situation, but you should let us know what you would do down in the comments. All right. As Opie says. For some context, me and my parents, 67 female and 65 male.

44:24 Why is it still funny? By all rights, that shouldn't be funny at all anymore, and it still is. Is it because it's 315? I've never been close.

44:38 As they honestly didn't really give a crap about me when I was a kid. I was always being handed off to nannies and ignored when I would try to play with them. They would always leave me behind with said nannies when they went on business trips and vacations. And then when I got older, they would just leave me all alone. Oh my God, why?

45:01 It's horrible.

45:02 Yeah, why would they just not take you? They just didn't want you. Why'd they have a kid? It was a crappy way to grow up, but I've moved on from it. Doesn't seem like it. I can't let my childhood define my entire life. Once I moved out, we rarely talked besides holidays and birthdays. Anyways, in the past couple years, my parents have started reaching out more and trying to connect. Well, let me introduce you to my book.

45:29 It's called Too Little Too Late, Chapter 29. I'm not talking to you. You abandoned me as a child. You didn't even like me. Now you're going to come to me? Get out of my face! I was a little weary at first, as I thought maybe they wanted something from me. But after feeling them out for a bit, I think they just feel bad for how they ignored me when I was young. Again, too little to frickin' lay, what?

45:56 I slowly started letting them into my life, and a few months ago, told them about Ruby. Oh my gosh, I forgot it was her! Oh, this is the age gap. They immediately jumped into telling me how I'm too young to be dating someone so old and so on and so forth. I shut that down immediately. I told them they don't get to say stuff like that to me ever.

46:20 They can support me after all the stuff they pulled or go away. That seemed to shut them up. Fast forward to last night, me, Ruby, and my parents all had dinner together.

46:33 Uh-oh.

46:35 It was their first time meeting her. It was going smoothly up until Ruby pecked me on the lips before going to the bathroom. The second she was out of earshot, my mom just blurted out something like, I can't remember exactly. Ruby absolutely disgusts us. She's disgusting. I didn't say anything, but I was just so stunned as they both started trying to explain that they can't accept this relationship or some BS. I barely remember. All I could hear was static.

47:08 I flagged out our waitress, told my parents that we're leaving, and paid the bill as we all sat in awkward silence. I guess they didn't want to embarrass themselves in front of the waitress. I don't even know. By then, Ruby was back, and she was totally confused.

47:22 Your parents suck.

47:24 Yeah, these parents are not cool.

47:26 I would have been like, we're leaving, you're paying the bill.

47:31 Ooh, and then I would have ordered five more things of wine.

47:34 I cast spit in your face. I cast spit in your face. And I cast leave the restaurant without paying. That's a triple spell combo.

47:44 I cast Aunt Gertha. I explained everything in the cab home, and I honestly started tearing up a bit. I was finally starting to think I actually had parents, but then they go and say crap like that. Ruby was pretty shocked and comforted me. Now, my parents have been calling and texting me, scolding me for leaving like that, and saying that they just want me to date someone right for me. They even looped a couple aunts, Aunt Gertha, here she comes, and uncles in, who never even really gave a dang about me ever, and have them telling me to answer my parents and apologize. Just need to know, was I wrong? Yeah, no, for leaving a... dinner reservation where you were blatantly disrespected, and then also your girlfriend

48:31 was talked behind her back. Yeah, no, I think that's a pretty great reason to leave, actually. I fully support that. If people are being disrespectful to you, get out of there!

48:42 And it's not like your parents were, like, your most trusted confidants who were always there for you growing up. That would be different. It'd be like, is she? Like, maybe do I need to listen to these people whose weight, the weight of their opinion means something?

48:55 I know.

48:55 And also, all of a sudden they're coming back in your life and being like, oh, hey, here we are.

49:00 We don't like your girlfriend.

49:02 She's disgusting.

49:04 Yeah.

49:04 Literally to say that about like just meeting someone.

49:07 She's disgusting.

49:09 Shut up.

49:10 Literally. And that's the end of this story. Let's head to the next one. My professor asked me to go on a date after.

49:19 I grew Uh, I mean, I guess you probably could. Why not?

49:25 It's better than before. Yeah. I, 25 female, am currently getting a master's in communications. Set to graduate next week. This past semester, I had a professor, Mark, 30 male. Who has been a great mentor and resource while I was completing my thesis. His class was quite difficult, but he was always willing to offer assistance to those who needed it. By the way, this comes from ABCDXYZ2. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash ok story time subreddit. I'm Dakota.

49:59 I'm Spinner.

50:00 I'm Riley.

50:00 You're going to read this story, and we're going to be like, ooh, daddy. And we're going to be like, We're going to say stuff. We're going to have thoughts. You get to have your own thoughts. You can even tell us what your thoughts about us are in the comments. Be nice.

50:17 Ew, that one was weird. I didn't like that.

50:19 Triple, triple, triple tap.

50:21 No.

50:21 I didn't even know how I did that.

50:23 That was really cool.

50:25 And OP says, I did well in his class. Although he graded me pretty harshly in the beginning. I was going through a fairly stressful time then. I found out my father was diagnosed with prostate cancer. And it definitely reflected in my assignments. He told me that he knew I had more potential than this and asked if there was anything else going on. I confided in him and he offered some words of comfort but told me that if I needed extensions on my assignments to tell him beforehand.

50:54 I accepted the low grades but worked my butt off for the rest of the semester which showed in my final grades. Now I will preface this next part. By saying that Mark is incredibly attractive. Girls in the class who normally would wear jeans and a t-shirt to school will come dressed to impress. Mark is a very good teacher, engaged, and incredibly knowledgeable. But he refuses to join in on any social events, pub nights, etc. I figured he must be incredibly private. I have a few interviews set up for positions within my field. I have a few references lined up and sent Mark an email. asking if he could write me a letter of rec. We decided to meet at a Starbucks close to the school a week later, which was yesterday. We were chatting about summer plans, the

51:46 jobs I've been applying to, and other random things when he clears his throat and became really serious. He slid over a recommendation letter in a sealed envelope and told me that he would be interested in going out to dinner with me after my commencement. I asked if he meant as a date, to which he said he tries to keep his professional life professional and not mix it with his personal life, but since I will be graduating and no longer a student at the college, he would like to take the opportunity to potentially pursue something romantic with me. I'm pretty sure I was blushing, but I just told him that I needed to think about it, to which he completely agreed and hoped he didn't make me uncomfortable. He seemed kind of withdrawn and flustered after that,

52:30 and we left separately shortly after. was yesterday, and I haven't heard from him or responded to his offer. On the one hand, I do really like him, but never thought he would be interested in me. The idea of pursuing something more than a teacher-student relationship is definitely something I would enjoy, but would that impact my reputation or his? No, I wouldn't think. I don't want to do anything that puts his job on the line, and even though I'm no longer his student, with final grades being submitted two weeks ago, is this still too soon to pursue something?

53:03 And if I do accept, I know I will no longer be able to use him as a character or academic reference, which is fine. But now I'm hesitant to submit the letter of recommendation he compiled for me. Reddit, I need advice. Would this affect my professional life or his? Have you had any relationships with former professors? Is this completely wrong? I didn't feel the slightest bit uncomfortable or creeped out by his proposition, but I'm not sure if my judgment is clouded by infatuation. Your advice would be appreciated.

53:31 And there is an update. Bro, I don't think you know what the word infatuation means.

53:35 How old is he?

53:36 He's 25.

53:39 He's 30. If you were infatuated with this man, I think all you would think about is him pursuing you and him being attracted to you. I feel like she is infatuated.

53:49 That's why she's riding it, but she's also an academic, so she's coming into it with a level head where she's weighing the pros and cons. Low-key, I say go for it because, one, it's a dream.

53:59 Two.

54:00 I mean, yeah, he can kind of tell you who to talk to if you do have a relationship, but you have to realize if this doesn't work out, there's, it's like being friends with someone. After you date, you probably won't have a friendship if you decide to cross that line with them.

54:17 I got to say, this feels like the most appropriate relationship you could possibly have. Or like the most appropriate way to go about this that you could possibly do.

54:30 Yeah, honestly, I kind of agree.

54:31 He didn't pursue you while you were a student. He didn't favor you while you were getting grades. He showed zero favoritism to you. In fact, he graded you quite harshly, you even said. Like, he's done nothing unprofessional or unbecoming as a professor.

54:48 I would just wait, like, until, you know, like, you're not his student anymore.

54:54 Yeah, that's what they're doing.

54:55 Oh, okay.

54:56 I mean, she's not. Final grades were already submitted. Like, it's a... They're not... That's no longer happening. I don't think it'll really impact your professional careers because it's like, you know, it's not like he's 70. That would be different. You know, people would look at that and be like, but he's 30, you're 25. Your dad had cancer. I was like, yeah, but still, you got to let me know ahead of time if you're going to be late. So, update. Update.

55:29 First and foremost, I got a job. The job is at a quite large PR firm within the city, and I start next week. They didn't ask me for references, but instead told me they looked at my LinkedIn profile and saw I had quite a few recommendations there. So they were satisfied with that. I'm so excited. So I never ended up using Mark's letter of recommendation. After posting, I decided that I do want to explore something romantic with him. I immediately felt better after getting some third-party advice.

56:03 So the next day, I emailed him, because I didn't have his phone number, and said this. Mark, first off, I want to say that I am incredibly grateful for the recommendation letter you compiled for me. I have a second interview tomorrow at one of the agencies I was telling you about. I'm a bit anxious, but also quite excited.

56:20 I just wanted to let you know that I will not be using the letter after all. I thought about what you asked me, and I am very interested in going out to dinner with you. You have been an awesome mentor this last semester, but I'm ready to see a different side of you. I promise we don't have to get Indian food. I wanted to apologize if I seemed standoffish when you asked me. I wasn't expecting it, and it took me a while to process it all. Again, thank you for the letter. Maybe I will see you at Convocation this Saturday. And just in case you may want it, here's my number.

56:58 5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5.

57:01 The Indian food bit was from when he was sick one day and said he's 99% sure he got food poisoning from trying a butter chicken dish at a dive bar. Yeah, I gotta say, dive bar butter chicken? You gotta know better than that. You're a professor.

57:15 You don't get gas station sushi, alright?

57:18 Yeah.

57:19 Eww.

57:21 I received a text from him an hour later, and we've been talking ever since. On Friday, I found out I got the job and told him. He said he wasn't surprised, and I would do really well there. Saturday was my convocation. My parents flew down, and it was great. I saw Mark at the mixer, and he had a huge grin on his face and waved. I was busy taking photos and whatnot, and noticed he left later on.

57:46 He told me he didn't want to spoil my day and said we'd talk soon. Everything is coming up. Daisies, roses, lilies, chrysanthemums, whatever flower you like.

57:58 Babana.

57:58 Babaganoush. Let's just finish this beautiful story. Babana. We decided to go out to dinner yesterday. Sunday. To keep it short, it was great. He was great. He walked me back to my condo. We took a night and he started walking away. I was kind of disappointed and turned to walk into the door, but I heard him call my name.

58:20 And he kissed me.

58:21 Whoa!

58:22 What? First date? Dang.

58:25 He was on it.

58:26 He said he still knew it, this. Anyways, this post was probably all over the place, but I'm actually just feeling really giddy and excited. Between the new job, finally graduating, and the lovely date I had with my ex-superhot professor. I'm on cloud nine right now. Thanks for everything, guys. Your advice really helped. TLDR, Hot Professor, and I are banging, and I have a job.

58:52 Oh my gosh.

58:54 That was so not called for. Why did you have to say it like that?

58:58 Ew.

58:58 Me and my professor are getting it on. I listen to Van Halen, and that's the only song. Hot for teacher.

59:06 Oh.

59:08 Teacher vibes. I want that.

59:10 My teacher Well, give me teacher vibes I want my teacher Hey, give me teacher vibes.

59:25 And that's the end of this story. Let's head to the next one.

59:28 Hey, it's Angie, your favorite fake redhead host here, and we're going to get back to the stories, but here's a three-minute ad break from our sponsors.

59:38 My wife's co-worker made me paranoid, so I followed her around everywhere. The title sounds extreme, but here are the details. My wife, 27 female, and I, 42 male, have been together for five years.

59:55 What is with all these big age gaps?

59:59 This was the whole thing in the episode. I told you this right before we started it.

1:00:02 You were 37 and she was 22? What are you, Leonardo DiCaprio? I love her so much that it pains me to write this. The thing is, I was the sole earner for a while and I was happy to provide. I'm a software developer at a local startup that has tripled in employees and gone exponential in revenue. We're not having kids. So my wife got bored of being home and doing nothing. So she got a job at a law firm as a paralegal. By the way, this comes from Scared of Their Love. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash ok story.

1:00:39 I'm Subright. I'm Dakota.

1:00:40 I'm Savannah.

1:00:41 I'm Riley. We're going to read this story. We're going to have our thoughts. They may be good. They may be bad. Let us know your thoughts in the comments. And OP says, Enter this attorney who I'll call Brandon. Let's go, Brandon. My wife started to bring him up quite a bit. You know when your wife starts talking about something, drops it, and then brings it up again a few minutes or hours later like there was no gap?

1:01:07 My wife does that with stories about him. I searched through her Facebook friends list one day for Brandon and saw that they had connected. Okay. Then, my wife starts going to work happy hours, and I'm seeing pictures of the guy in her timelines. In most of the picture, she is positioned next to him holding a drink. Okay.

1:01:31 I have gained considerable weight since joining the startup. There is free food provided to us nearly every day. My wife has maintained a really low weight and looks as beautiful as she did at 22. Hey, I'm going to go ahead and automatically say I don't like the way you're moving, OP. Don't like it at all. You're like, I'm going to start dating a 22-year-old when I'm 37.

1:01:53 Fast forward to 42 and you're like, is my hot young girlfriend maybe looking for more appropriate options now that I'm a, you know, clearly not very secure partner? Because you can be a little overweight. I don't know, man. It's all in the way you carry yourself. And if you carry yourself the way that you're moving right now, you are unattractive. You are unappealing.

1:02:22 Yeah, and she probably is dating you for like the security and you're, I don't know.

1:02:26 So it's weird. I don't know. Brandon is more like how I used to be weight wise. However, I believe I make more money than he does. There it is. So here it goes. I take off work on Friday as my team is nearing the end of our project. I wait for my wife to leave the firm and I see her walking out with Brandon. They get in my wife's car, purchased on my dime, she's your wife, and I follow them for a bit. They go to a local dive bar and it turns out all of her co-workers are there. I see them entering. I wait for hours and everyone eventually leaves. My wife leaves last with Brandon and she takes him home. I don't see any physical contact as he exits the vehicle to go inside his apartment building. At this point I'm sick, I'm gutted.

1:03:14 Wait, but like nothing really happened.

1:03:15 If you put the energy that you're putting into stalking your wife right now into making sure your relationship is healthy and that y'all are both happy, you probably wouldn't have to worry about this. I wait at home for my wife and confront her about Brandon. She went insane, basically threatening to end the marriage because I stalked her.

1:03:41 She told me she is always the designated driver for happy hour because she doesn't drink much, which is true, but she didn't address my greater concerns. Am I the a-hole? Yeah.

1:03:53 Yeah. I also have to say, um, you're the a-hole because why didn't you just like, like instead of going through all of the weird stalkery, like inspector gadget things, like why can't you just like, I don't know, talk to your wife.

1:04:08 Yeah, it's like you're 42. You're supposed to be the leader in this relationship.

1:04:13 Yeah. And you sound like you haven't made any moves mentally since you were 18.

1:04:18 I'm more successful than this guy.

1:04:20 Oh, my girlfriend's getting a little weight on her. It's weird, dude. It's like, how haven't you, I don't know, gotten to the point where you're secure in these things or like that you don't, appearances don't matter or like status isn't.

1:04:36 You're not cool with who you are. That's what it feels like. He's not cool with who he is. Update! Ten days later. If you don't want to read it, here's the summary. I believed my wife to be having an affair with a co-worker who had repeatedly appeared in her pictures and conversations. So, one happy hours eve, I followed her. Even though I had seen nothing definitive, I confronted her about the issue and she threatened to end things with me. Believe it or not, I listened to your advice. I received extensive advice from both sides. Publicly, everyone agreed I was at fault. In my direct messages, many fervently believed me to be in the right.

1:05:16 Wait, what is fervently?

1:05:18 Like, very passionately.

1:05:21 Oh, so they were super passionate about him being right.

1:05:24 Regardless, I sat down and talked to my wife about my insecurities concerning her co-worker, Brandon. I told her I did not feel as attractive as Brandon and worried that as I was getting older, her interest in me was waning. I also asked her if she felt financially stable in the relationship. I apologized for following her and told her I would never do it again. She told me several things. First, that she was offended I did not trust her. Second, that she did suspect Brandon had feelings for her based on some of his interactions and comments. And third, that she sometimes felt isolated by my work and never felt motivated one way or the other by my income. The thing about programming is it is hard to explain my

1:06:11 work to someone who does not program. Yeah, I mean, yeah, maybe you're on the track to not blow in this.

1:06:19 No, all he's doing, he's so insecure that he's just projecting everything onto her.

1:06:26 And he's like, well, I don't know. I feel like I've been getting, like, less attractive. Now you don't like me anymore. And, you know, I don't know. Maybe we haven't been spending much time together. It's like, dude, shut up.

1:06:38 If you like me, like me. If you love me, love me. Let's freaking go.

1:06:43 Like, shut up.

1:06:45 I don't want to have this talkie talkie.

1:06:47 I want you to walkie walkie. Walkie walkie my talkie talkie.

1:06:52 Walkie talkie. We should get those.

1:06:55 I would like one. Liah Klee says, Dakota, how do you get your hair to be so shiny? It's grease.

1:07:04 It's called grease.

1:07:04 You stay up all night and get a little greasy with it. Ooh. She also told me my physical appearance and aging had no impact on her feelings toward me. She reaffirmed that she loved me and would never throw away our marriage for a divorced coworker. So what of our future? I asked her if she still wanted to be with me or if she could not see a future with me after I had followed her. She joked that she would forgive me after drinking a few cocktails at a tropical resort. She told me that, in addition to the stalking, the cocktails would also help her forget about all of my past rants about various programming languages like Java specifically. I haven't told her yet, but I plan to surprise her with an inclusive package to the

1:07:53 Maldives or some other island young women enjoy that I never heard of until researching.

1:07:58 Dude, this was the biggest douche I have ever read today.

1:08:02 Wait, why did Sam Chan just say carriage?

1:08:05 Why do I somehow not believe her when she said your income had no bearing on anything when she said I'll forgive you for a tropical vacation? Like, I get that's a little cheeky, but yeah.

1:08:23 You can just kind of tell the relationship. Like, she's there for financial reasons, and he's there for.

1:08:29 So she looks good on his arm. I mean, I don't feel like it's just the financial. Because when they got together, he didn't have that. And then he got it later. Yeah. Well, investment. Investment, some would say. You know?

1:08:43 Jeff Bezos' wife.

1:08:45 Investment. I think it's really weird... If your partner makes a ton of money to be like, oh, that doesn't matter at all. It's like on some level it makes you go, well, that, yeah, that's nice. I mean, it's not why I like you, but. I'm not like oh man we've got so much money and I can go on so many vacations like just be honest about.

1:09:09 That why does Sam Chad just keep saying carriage but this time it has a question mark carriage.

1:09:18 It was just carriage now it's Take care of your carriage.

1:09:21 Wait, say carriage with an exclamation point.

1:09:23 Carriage is a marriage that cares.

1:09:26 Carriage?

1:09:27 Carriage. Average? That was the end of that story.