My boyfriend wants me to RAISE his three kids… after three months of us dating! -r/BestofRedditorUpdates | Reddit Stories | EP3077

0:00 Hey, this is Dakota.

0:01 And this is Carly, your favorite OK Storytime host, and we've got some great stories coming up.

0:06 But before that, we have a quick two-minute break from the sponsors that keep the show alive.

0:11 My boyfriend wants me to raise his three kids after three months of us dating.

0:16 One month for each kid sounds fair to me. I, 25 female, have been dating my boyfriend, 43 male, for about three months.

0:24 We actually knew each other before we started dating because we used to work together. And at one point, I was technically his boss. He has three children, 12 male, 8 female, and 3 male, that he has on the weekends. I have absolutely no issue with him prioritizing his kids. In fact, I'd be concerned if he didn't. The problem is that our relationship feels like it's moving much faster than I'm comfortable with. He works overnight shifts, so between work, sleeping during the day, and spending weekends with his kids, we don't get a ton of quality time together. We've had multiple conversations and arguments about this because I sometimes feel like we barely have time to connect. His response is usually that he can't give me more time because

1:07 of his responsibilities as a father, which I understand. I'm going to pause here. It's not going to work. You're having trouble within three months and you're like arguing to spend more time. And he said, I can't, then it's not going to work. You want more time. He can't give it to you.

1:23 The end.

1:24 Despite that, He's already talking about us living together, marriage, and even having more children someday.

1:30 Ugh, he's just looking for mom. New mom. New mom.

1:34 By the way, this comes from LilacGemini67, and if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash ok story time subreddit. I'm Savannah.

1:43 I'm Dakota.

1:43 And we are here to give some good advice goofily, but we don't have all of the answers you may want. We'd only tell you what we would do, but let us know what you would do down in the comments. As OP says... The living situation he has in mind is me moving into his house. He rents out the upstairs and has been working on finishing the basement. The assumption has kind of been that we'd eventually live together there.

2:06 Over my birthday, I had a bit of an epiphany. I realized that I'm not ready for any of that yet. I haven't even met his children. I'm still trying to figure out what being in a relationship with someone who has three kids looks like. I don't feel ready to move into his home. become part of that dynamic, or take on that kind of role after only three months together.

2:28 At the same time, I don't want to continue living with my parents. I've never really had my own place, and I want the experience of having my own apartment and independence. So I applied for an apartment and got approved. The issue is that I didn't tell him while I was applying because I was afraid of how he'd react.

2:46 Pause again! This isn't going to work!

2:49 Yeah.

2:51 You are already not telling him, you know, all this stuff. You guys are kind of like living in a fantasy world of like, you know, I want this.

2:57 Me, me, me.

2:58 Okay, and I want this. And they don't line up. And then you just are ignoring that. And now you're afraid to tell him that you want to be alone and move into your apartment by yourself. And he's going to have a problem with that. After three months of dating, it's not going to work. I haven't broken the news to him yet. From my perspective, getting an apartment isn't me rejecting him.

3:20 Well, it'd be healthiest if you guys broke up because you guys are literally polar opposites of what you want in life right now. Not even the net, just the net. He's looking for a woman who's ready to take care of his kids with him. Yeah.

3:32 And you literally said, I don't want to do that yet. So it's therefore, it ain't gonna work. I actually think it would be healthier for us because we'd each have our own space. He could come to mine, I could come to his, and we could continue building our relationship without rushing major life decisions. But I know he may see it differently since he's been talking about our future together and living together. So, am I the a-hole for getting my own apartment behind his back because I'm not ready to move in with him yet? And there is an edit. For people wondering about the how I was his boss, I worked for a very well-known set of gas station chain restaurant place that you could probably take

4:12 a guess about what it is. And I was a customer service supervisor because I had been working my way up since I was 18 at that job. And he had came in hired as a regular associate. Yeah, I truthfully, I kind of do think you're the a-hole for not telling him because he thinks that you're moving in like that.

4:32 That was the conversation and the decision that you had. And I'm guessing you're like, oh, yeah, like we could think about it, whatever, blah, blah. And he took that as, OK, she's ready to do the next step. But the thing is, you're not ready and you need to tell him that. He has a whole separate idea in his head and you're just being like, yeah. Like, you know. The thing is, you know he's going to get mad. You know he's going to get upset when you tell him, which is why you didn't tell him. And so you did it behind his back and now you're going to tell him and it's going to blow up.

5:02 Yeah, it really feels like now is the time that you need to sort of cut free of this.

5:06 Just break it off. You both want different things, and that's completely okay. Doesn't mean you have to hate each other. Doesn't mean it has to be awkward at work.

5:14 Yeah, you guys have been dating for three months.

5:16 Yeah, like, it's okay. And you already have different ideas of where you want to go.

5:20 That's fine.

5:21 Just cut it off and go be with someone who has your vision. There are some relevant and top comments. OP on why she is the boss at that job anyway. OP responds, I left that job to go get a career in the medical field. I'm now a phlebotomist. Comment to number one says, few things. Why are you afraid of his reaction when he finds out? What do you think he'll do? OP responds, um, I honestly think it'll upset him more than anything. And honestly, I feel like he would just then break up with me because things aren't going his way because he was so adamant about us moving in together.

5:55 Okay, so then you break up. Yeah. Is it that horrible? Because you don't want that.

5:59 Comment to number two. Based on pure assumptions, I'm going to guess he left his wife and any man who leaves their wife with children under four to five is absolute scum.

6:11 Well, we don't know exactly what's going on.

6:14 Her body and hormones haven't even fully adjusted back from birthing his child. Get the F out. To top that off, he's trying to move in with you. An energetic 25-year-old to tend to his children while he works overnights. No thanks. Don't move in. For sure don't have children with him. Or if I were in your shoes, I'd cut my losses and walk away. OP with a downvoted comment. Uh-oh.

6:38 Uh-oh.

6:39 He was with the mother of his children for about 17 years and they never got married. Had three kids together. He knew he wasn't going to marry her. He says how they ended up breaking up. He got back with her old high school love and ended up cheating on him.

6:56 Oh, so he was cheated on. She cheated on him with her high school boyfriend.

7:02 Okay, so he knew that he wasn't going.

7:04 To marry her. Wait, they downvoted that?

7:06 Yeah.

7:07 I mean, there's people who don't ever get married, and they still are together. I don't know. Whatever.

7:16 Are we downvoting the cheating of the girl?

7:19 I don't know what we're downvoting. I don't think he cheated on her. I think she cheated on him.

7:23 Yeah, she did. The wife cheated on him.

7:27 According to him. Yeah.

7:29 But he also said he knew he was never going to marry her.

7:32 She's a weird vibe.

7:35 Maybe she wanted to get married.

7:36 Well, they do have a 12-year-old kid.

7:38 They have three kids.

7:39 So 12 years ago, he became locked in.

7:42 Yeah, well, 17 years they were married.

7:46 But really, once the kid is there, that's when you're locked. Yeah. Truthfully.

7:51 That's your marriage certificate. There's an update. Four days later. To everyone saying I need therapy, I'm already in therapy and have been. I'm actively working on myself and trying to make healthy decisions. As for the update, last night, I sat him down and told him that I was moving into my own apartment. He took it better than I expected. I explained that this wasn't about running away from him or him holding me back. It was something I genuinely needed to experience for myself. I've never lived on my own before. and I want the opportunity to build my own life and independence before making such a big commitment with someone else. He did express that he didn't want me to struggle by living on my own,

8:30 and I understood where he was coming from. But I reassured him that I've thought this through financially. Between putting down the security deposit, getting a new job that pays more, and budgeting for this move, I feel confident that I can support myself. I didn't want our conversation to turn into an argument over money because that wasn't the point.

8:48 The bigger issue came when he told me that I have about a month to meet his kids because he wants us to move towards a more serious relationship. I was honest and told him I'm still not comfortable with that. My fear has never been meeting his children. It's meeting them before I'm certain this relationship is permanent. The last thing I would ever want is to become part of their lives and then disappear if the relationship doesn't work out.

9:13 Which is very mature. I think that is a very good thing to think about.

9:18 You're thinking of the children.

9:19 Yes, as you should. And I don't think he is, which kind of pisses me off. I also told him that I'm not ready to step into a parental role. I'm not his wife, and I'm not looking to become a babysitter. I love that answer. Come on, OP, I'm on your side.

9:35 Let's go.

9:36 I'm a 25-year-old woman who wants to experience a more traditional relationship before becoming involved in raising children. Yeah, I think, Opie, you're making the right decision. I think that he really is looking for a wife and or babysitter. And that's just not in your cards. You don't want to do that.

9:54 You don't want to be tied down with these kids that really aren't even yours or your responsibility. You don't want to have you. want that responsibility to be put on you, and that is a completely normal thing. The reason that you don't have children is because you don't want them right now. People choose, and you're choosing not to be a part of this life, and that's all right.

10:14 You're allowed to experience things you're 25. Like, it's all right.

10:17 Yeah, you're not ready to raise... Three of this guy's kids.

10:21 Yeah, that you don't know and are afraid to meet. Well, not afraid to meet, but just don't want to hurt them in any way, you know? So I don't know. I think you're doing the right thing here. I think that conversation made both of us realize we're in very different.

10:34 Stages of life.

10:35 We've decided to take some space from each other. And if I'm being honest, I think it's probably going to turn into a breakup. Yes, I've accepted that because I know what I need right now. And I don't think either of us should have to sacrifice something so important.

10:49 Yes.

10:50 On a happier note, I officially put the security deposit down on my apartment. I'll be moving in at the beginning of July, and I'm genuinely excited for this next chapter. I also accepted a new job that pays more, which will help keep me financially stable while I'm out on my own. I'm nervous, but I'm also excited. For the first time in a long time, I feel like I'm making decisions for myself instead of trying to fit into a life I wasn't ready for.

11:15 Yes, OP.

11:17 I feel like we had a big character arc there. Like at first, you're like, I don't know. I'm not sure. You know, I like him and I want to please him. But also, this isn't really what I want. And guess what? When you make decisions for yourself, you always feel way more happier than making them for someone else.

11:34 Boom.

11:35 Put that in a book. Quote me on it.

11:37 Put that in a book. It's probably in a book somewhere. You know what? Put that in a book.

11:41 I made that up just now on the spot.

11:43 Put it in a book.

11:44 Well, that's the end of that story. But we got another one coming right up.

11:48 My girlfriend hid me from her family. She was ashamed to bring me around.

11:53 Oh, I thought you were just playing a game of hide and seek. I, 26 male, have been dating my girlfriend Jenna, 25 female, for about four months now.

12:04 It's recently gotten to the point where we've started to introduce each other to our respective families, with me bringing her to meet my parents during a visit home three weeks ago. and me meeting her brother out at dinner last week. Jenna's family always does a huge Memorial Day weekend barbecue where her parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins all get together every year. She was hoping to use this opportunity as a way to introduce me to the entire family, and we made plans to go together today.

12:31 About a month ago, some friends of mine introduced me to Ultimate Frisbee. They had picked up the sport as a way to get some cardio in while doing something fun. I had never really played before, but it seemed like it could be fun, and I decided to join, loving it immediately. Your friends have infected you with the ultimate frisbee virus.

12:52 You got bit by the frisbee bug.

12:54 The frizbug. I'm not very good, but I really enjoy it and have been getting together with some folks at my local park who play every Wednesday and Saturday night. By the way, this comes from SocksWithStripes. If you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit. I'm Dakota.

13:10 And I'm Savannah.

13:10 And we're going to read this story and we're going to have our thoughts and they are going to be maybe a little goofy sometimes because we don't have all the answers. We're just a bunch of goofballs. But let us know what you think in the comments and OP Says. On Thursday, Jenna asked me if I wouldn't mind skipping Ultimate on Friday because she was worried I might get injured before the barbecue this weekend. I kind of brushed off her concerns by saying that I haven't seen anyone get anything more than a scrape so far and that she really shouldn't be concerned. Which is funny because we have a friend who literally got his shoulder torn playing Ultimate Frisbee.

13:44 Yeah, I did.

13:46 Apparently, I must have tempted fate because on Saturday I was running and trying to intercept a pass when I collided with another player.

13:52 That's exactly what happened.

13:54 To our friend. We knocked heads pretty good. And while I was cleared of anything serious like a concussion or a fracture, his forehead gave me a massive goose egg on my eyebrow that has since turned into a pretty nasty black eye. Jenna met me at the urgent care when I was getting checked out. As you can expect, she was very concerned. Until we learned everything was okay, at which point she became upset and frustrated. There were a lot of I told you so's, and she started spiraling with worry about introducing me to her entire family while I have a huge black eye. Literally, what is the problem, though?

14:29 Yeah, you could just be like, oh yeah, I play Ultimate Frisbee and I just collided with someone.

14:33 That's all. This is like the energy of like, She's got like the royal family. She's like, oh, everything must be perfect when you meet Papa.

14:42 Powder yourself.

14:43 Go powder. Oh, goodness. That will never do. Your black eye is egregiously ugly. Oh, you cannot meet Papa in such a state. It's like, dude, I play sports.

14:54 Yeah, I get down and dirty.

14:55 How are they not going to be like, oh, OK, that's cool. Like if you're like, yeah, I got a black eye because I was trying to hammer a nail and I just don't know how it works. Hit myself right in the head with it. I thought I had to go back up really fast, but I got it backwards.

15:10 Then I wouldn't introduce you to my family because then I'd have to explain how stupid you are.

15:14 Yeah. I told her it shouldn't matter that much and it should only be embarrassing for me and that hopefully it will just be a funny story someday. She got quiet after that and we didn't speak for a little while. She admitted later on when we got home that her family can be pretty judgmental and that appearances really matter to them. Because of that, she decided that she was going to go alone to the barbecue. I wasn't too upset because honestly, my eye is pretty sore. But I still would have liked to meet everybody, even with my black eye. I feel bad because she already told her family I was going to come and was really excited to introduce me to everyone. But now she's lying to them all saying I was down with a stomach bug

15:49 and couldn't make it. Which, by the way, they'll still probably judge you for that. Yeah.

15:54 I don't know. It's just who cares? Like, yeah, it's a first impression, you know, but also, you know, then you have something to identify him by. Be like, oh, yeah, that guy with the black eye.

16:04 I would rather be judged as a warrior of the ultimate battlefield than like, oh, my tummy hurts.

16:11 For real, right?

16:12 Oh, Mr. Tummy Man couldn't come. Hey, there he is, Mr. Tummy Man.

16:17 Oh, no.

16:17 I will say when you're dating somebody and their parents like bully you, it can be really brutal. I dated a girl in high school. Her dad called me Kotex.

16:26 Why?

16:27 Like, the brand. Honestly, just because he was a funny guy. My high school daughter's boyfriend, yeah, I'll call him a tampon brand.

16:35 I love Kotex.

16:36 And it was, you know, it was funny. But only because I thought it was funny, right? I still sort of feel like she's making too big of a deal about this, though. So, Reddit, am I the a-hole for what? For having a black eye? No. I mean... Yeah, it sounds like her family's really intense.

16:54 Yeah, I mean, what if, like, you had, like, some sort of, like, disability? Like, would you not be able to meet the family? Like, say you were in, like, a wheelchair or, like, you had, like, crutches or something. Like, would they think badly of you? Like, I don't know. This is just, like, it's not like it's going to stay there forever. You're not going to have a black eye forever. It's going to be gone. But, you know, I don't think it's really just, you know, something happened before and that's it.

17:17 I don't know. I don't really feel like.

17:19 It's a big deal.

17:20 Yeah. Yeah. Just show up in a tuxedo. Problem solved. Boom.

17:24 They'll be like, wow, this guy gets down and dirty, but also can clean up nice.

17:30 Update. Verdict was not the a-hole, but the comments were split. Many agreed that it was only a black eye and it was ridiculous for Jenna to refuse to let me go after she had previously told her family I was coming. On the other side, many felt I was selfish by playing after Jenna had asked me not to. and that I was insensitive by telling her my eye wasn't a big deal. Despite the verdict, the you are the a-hole comments resonated with me, and I felt I needed to apologize to Jenna.

17:57 I don't know. I mean, it's like, I don't believe that it's that big of a deal. Like, yeah, I apologize for being like, sorry, I know you said not to, and you didn't want me to get hurt, and then I'll, you know, now I did get hurt, so I apologize, you were right, whatever. But, you know, accidents happen. It's not like you meant to go there and, like, get a black eye on purpose, you know?

18:18 Yeah, you're like, I just wanted to look cool for your family. At the end of the day, if your family is going to judge me so hard for having a black eye, I don't think I want to know your family. Right? I told her I was sorry that I put her in such a tough situation and didn't realize how important it was to her. I also apologized for dismissing her feelings by not realizing that things that affect me can affect her just as much. Jenna responded with her own apology, saying that she felt awful leaving me behind when she knew I was prepared to meet her family, even with the shiner. She explained that when her brother introduced his boyfriend to the family, the aunt's uncles and grandparents were extremely critical behind their backs, due

18:56 largely to his laid back personality and dressing casually. This escalated and ended up being a point of contention. And now her brother and his now fiance frequently avoid larger family functions. Well, yeah, because it sounds like all of your family members suck and are like, oh, who is this chill guy who is cool? not wearing a tuxedo.

19:16 What a loser. Now I'm, I don't know.

19:18 I feel like this is a reflection on the family. And I, and truthfully, if your girlfriend really loved you, she wouldn't care what her family thinks.

19:25 Jenna explained that despite their flaws, she loves those people and didn't want to be put in a position where she'd have to choose them or me.

19:32 Oh, this is like kind of traumatic.

19:35 Yeah.

19:35 So bad.

19:35 It sounds like your family is really not that great. Yeah. That sucks. We talked about it and ultimately, oh, Decided that while those people can wait to meet me until I no longer look like I'm doing some half racketeering. cosplay but that i could at least meet her parents and other siblings we ended up planning to go out for dinner two days later on friday night when we got to dinner i opened with a joke about needing to wait to see them because i literally couldn't see before which got some laughs and broke the tension I guess something to be aware of. You guys have been dating for four months.

20:10 Yeah. I mean, this guy's got jokes. And a black eye. Honestly, in my opinion, he's a keeper.

20:18 Yeah, I think, who knows? If she's really into you, look, no matter what, when she finds somebody she really likes, she's going to be put in that position where if her family is like, she's going to be put in that position regardless.

20:32 Yeah, so, and I feel like that's something that you guys could work on together. Just being like, you know, it's like exposure therapy. Like exposing him to the family and if they say critical things, you can be like, hey, I actually don't, I would, you know, I would like it better if you didn't judge him as much.

20:50 Yeah, hey.

20:51 Just be cool.

20:52 I would like it if you didn't bully my boyfriend, that'd be great. Yeah. Thank you. Don't talk about him like that, please, thank you. Jenna's parents seemed to really like me and we got along well. Her two brothers, who I had not yet met, were very happy to make fun of my eye. And we're debating between two different nicknames. Pandy seems to be the leading candidate, given that I go by Andy, and bear a striking resemblance to a panda at this moment. All in all, things turned out okay. We'll plan to meet her other relatives on the 4th of July. I've already promised no ultimate for at least a week before then. Can't wait! And that's the end of that story.

21:27 Yay, so it... worked out you got to i mean you didn't meet all the family but i think honestly this was the best scenario.

21:36 I put a big benjamin down on the table for that one i say i put it all on put it all on getting bullied for ultimate frisbee.

21:44 I am also gonna put a benjamin they're.

21:46 Gonna say hey check get a load of the ultimate athlete over here huh throws a disc around this.

21:52 Guy And then gets a black guy, even though they won't see the black guy.

21:56 Hey, he gets a black guy playing ultimate frisbee. Hey, don't let this guy near any real sports. He might disintegrate. More like an ultimate bozo.

22:05 Am I right?

22:06 Which honestly, if that is what they said, I'd be like, you guys are funny.

22:12 Yeah, I'd be like, I'm into this.

22:13 Don't touch me with that basketball. I'll decompose. Oh, that is the end of that story. And we got another one.

22:22 A girl flirted with me all night, then said I.

22:25 Wasn't good enough.

22:27 Hit you with the Uno reverse card. I, 26 male, alumni, originally met a younger student, 21 female, online through a club I used to be in, and I helped students with resumes and interview prep. At first, I didn't even like her. We interacted on Discord months ago, and my role was mentor to mentee, giving career advice and helping students.

22:49 About three weeks ago, she reached out about something and we started texting personally. The conversations were long, friendly, and honestly, pretty flirty. As we talked more, she gave me her Instagram and I was like, she's pretty cute. I then started to genuinely like her, not romantically at first, but eventually I became open to dating after getting to know her better. Last week, she asked me to dinner. We met up this weekend for the first time and I was like, she's pretty cute in person too. By the way, this comes from I am looking for a new job.

23:23 If you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash okay story time subreddit. I'm Savannah.

23:30 I'm Dakota.

23:31 And we are here to give some good advice in a little goofy way, but we don't have all the answers. We can only tell you what we would do, but let us know what you would do down in the comments. As Opie says. When we met up, she was physically flirty, touching me, complimenting me, leaning in, laughing a lot, staying close, and keeping strong eye contact. After dinner, I got the bill because I thought she did like me, and she asked if I wanted to get boba or dessert with her.

23:56 She paid for dessert. The vibe felt mutual, so I thought she might actually like me. She texted me she had fun and she got home safe. Based on that, when I got home, I replied, said I had fun and I'm home safe. Then I asked if she wanted to go on a real date sometime, my treat. That's when everything suddenly flipped. She sent a long emotional message saying she wasn't open to dating, that she had higher standards than me, that I misunderstood her and that she only needed support from a friend and that it hurts that she ended up going out with a male instead of making a friend, which she struggles with. She also said I was wrong for thinking she liked me that maybe she may have led me on, then criticized my personality,

24:43 even though she was the one being flirty in person, and she said she didn't know why I was interested in her. I felt like I don't have to explain why I'm interested in a woman. I replied once, politely, Hey, that's a bummer. No worries. I appreciate the honesty. After taking some time to think about it, I realized I can't do a friendship. Best of luck out there. And I feel like that's a pretty good response. I mean, she said she didn't like you. And you responded with, oh, okay, well, that stinks. But I don't really want to do like the friends thing because I do have a crush on you. So, you know, good luck. And I think that's normal. I've done that before. I've said like, oh.

25:23 This is just a normal rejection.

25:26 Yeah. And I feel like it's actually kind of nice. I mean, I don't like how she criticized your personality and kind of was like, you know, I have higher standards than you.

25:34 That is. That does kind of suck.

25:36 That's a backhanded compliment. She kind of did a compliment sandwich.

25:39 But yeah, it's like, okay, just let it roll off your back. It's like, next. Ariana Grande, thank you, next.

25:46 Thank you, next. Next. Thank you, next.

25:49 Next.

25:50 Thank you, next.

25:52 You guys aren't even exes. You guys didn't even really date.

25:55 You went on one date.

25:56 So you can't even say the next part of the song. After that, I stopped.

26:00 Replying because I saw she then deleted me on Instagram and LinkedIn. About 17 hours later, she sent another message accusing me of being selfish and not empathetic for not replying to her rant sooner.

26:13 Yeah, and it's like you go, you know, that's the sound of the ghost town.

26:18 I don't understand what she wants. Does she want you to chase after her?

26:21 Yes, but you don't need to.

26:24 Yeah, no, you definitely don't need to. She literally said she doesn't want anything with you. So why waste your time? And your feelings on this girl who literally just told you, no, I don't want to date you. And you're like, okay, well, I do want to see where this is going. But I also want to respect you. So I'm just going to, you know.

26:45 Bro, just send her a, my bad. Have a nice life. That's all. My bad. Have a nice life.

26:51 That's basically what he said. She said she wished that we didn't meet and meeting me was a waste of time that she wouldn't contact me again and ended with stay alive and good luck.

27:02 That sounds like a threat. Stay alive. Stay. Who says that? Stay alive and good luck. What are you guys in the apocalypse?

27:10 Yeah. What is this?

27:12 Like fallout? What does she know that we don't know? I would just, I would.

27:16 Just say, Oh, you know, stay safe.

27:19 Good luck or something. Stay alive. But stay alive is kind of threatening. Survive. Survive. You survive for me out there. Even though I had regret meeting you and it was a waste of my life. what? Survive!

27:32 There is a little bit left. Um, let's just get into it.

27:37 Thank you, next.

27:39 At that point, I felt like the way she reacted made it impossible to have any kind of relationship, even the casual conversation. If she had simply said, I'm not open to dating, but I appreciate it, I would have been totally fine and still open to being at least an acquaintance. But the emotional rant, plus calling me selfish, plus saying the meeting was a waste of time, Plus, deleting me everywhere made the whole thing feel irreversible. Now, I'm not open to reconnecting with her at all, even if she changed her mind. The emotional volatility was too much.

28:11 Am I the a-hole? For what? For not wanting to be friends with her when she literally isn't interested in you? You don't have to be friends with anyone. And also, you never, like, I think it's more mature of you to step back than saying, oh yeah, let's be friends, but you still have a crush on her.

28:27 I just, I don't think you're the a-hole for being like, this isn't.

28:30 Going to work. I think she's the a-hole for just being weird about everything.

28:34 And I don't even think, you weren't even the one who was like, this isn't going to work. She was like, this isn't going to work. Yeah. And then she got mad at you for not being more upset that she didn't think it was going to work. Yeah.

28:44 Like what am I supposed to do?

28:45 Which is like classic, like insecure, like whatever you're dodging a bullet. Yeah.

28:50 She's just playing mind games. Don't even fall for it. Just be done. And, you know, she's the one who blocked you on everything or deleted you off of everything. Honestly, good.

28:59 Bye.

29:00 But that's the end of that story, and we got another one coming right up.

29:03 Oh, yeah. Hey, it's Carly, Keon's girlfriend, here. We're going to get back to the stories, but here's three minutes.

29:10 Of ads from our sponsors.

29:12 My boyfriend spends thousands on games but won't buy me a ring.

29:17 Uh, because the games are worth it, the ring isn't.

29:20 My boyfriend rarely has money, not for lack of working, but for lack of saving. He buys all sorts of things. He's a video game collector. Lately, Nintendo have him buy his colonies. He has been purchasing every major released game and amiibo. You haven't been following. I like them. They're okay. I definitely want to buy the new Wooly Yoshi packs because they look pretty cool and Yoshi was my first ever favorite game as a child. Anyway... Enough with the nerd stuff. Just kidding. I like it. In total, my boyfriend has spent about 900 bucks on Amiibos alone since the initial release. Ah!

30:09 Ooh, that's not cool or fun.

30:12 That's too many hundos on Amiibos. Though I spend money on Legos, so.

30:16 Too many oohs.

30:18 I do buy plastic bricks for children, but technically they're not. I buy the ones that say 18 and up.

30:24 Whoa, he does adult Legos.

30:26 There's too many numbers in these Legos for stupid babies to understand.

30:30 Uh-oh, he can read and write.

30:33 Look out! That $ 900 doesn't even include the actual video games that go along with them. $ 50 each, I see 19 cases from where I'm sitting right now. And also anything else that takes his eye. Things that will be worth more in the long run. There are more to be released soon. Wave after wave come out. By the way, this comes from a deleted user, and if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit. I'm Dakota.

30:59 And I'm Savannah.

31:00 And we're going to read this story and have our thoughts, and you get to have yours, too, down in the comments where we can read them. But just know we don't know everything. If you do, please tell us. We have questions. And Opie says, But today we had a discussion about getting engaged and engagement rings. His opinion, in a nutshell, is I only want to get engaged because other people do it, and rings are just a way to show off. For people like you. He said I am being childish and materialistic for wanting a diamond ring and not just a plain ring. No way this man just said you're childish for wanting an engagement ring when he spent $ 900 on Amiibos.

31:37 Yep, make it make sense.

31:39 Think one of those purchases is just a little more childish than the other.

31:46 In my opinion, yeah.

31:47 Just a little smidgen. He said he would spend about maybe $ 250 on a ring.

31:55 Dang, you're going to like Claire's?

31:57 Now, if you've looked at rings, you'll know that anything in that area is a promise ring made of silver with maybe a diamond if you're lucky. I know what I like, and it costs a little more than $ 250. And I am not talking about a Tiffany ring here that costs $ 35, 000. I think maybe $ 1, 500 would be Correct.

32:16 Something that will have a diamond, but not too big. Not too outrageous, but durable. Maybe wait until a sale to get a better deal. So I could get something that was $ 1, 700 maybe. I could easily buy that myself right now. I could spend $ 3, 000 right now if I wanted to. Is it selfish and materialistic if I want something more than what he suggested? Something maybe that costs more than the pieces of plastic he justifies as being important.

32:41 Mind you, he doesn't actually open the packages and use the toys. They go on a shelf to look at. These are investments, babe. I'm making investments.

32:49 Oh, that's crazy. So he doesn't actually use them. He just collects them.

32:52 Yeah, he's going to sell them. Yeah. They're going to be worth.

32:55 $ 100 million. In like 200 years.

32:59 Yeah, I think your boyfriend is out of pocket for suggesting getting you a $ 250 ring for an engagement. He's just going to be like, I got you this piece of string. We're getting married. I got you a piece of string. It's old-fashioned. Why?

33:16 Come on. You don't want a little of this?

33:19 I took some money out of my Amiibo video game fund and put it into the string fund. It's a really nice string.

33:28 This string has glitter on it. It's sparkly. I know how much you love a sparkle. You want to show off to all your friends.

33:36 And guess what? I got even more string in the back. It came with more extra string. So if the string falls off your finger, I tie another string. It's like you never lost your wedding ring.

33:46 I got 15 yards of this in the trunk.

33:48 Sorry, I mean wedding string. Wedding string.

33:54 Change the game, baby.

33:55 I say to him, It's not all about what people think or just because other people get those things. Sure, it's a little bit of that. But why do other women get presented with a beautiful ring without being prompted? Because they are loved. Why is our relationship different? He is painfully cynical at every turn and always bucks against tradition or expectation. Anything that I want is backed with, why should you do what everyone else does? Do it differently.

34:23 I want a symbol of our commitment, something to treasure and something I can wear for the rest of my life. I don't think that a cheap ring can stand the test of time. He is fighting me at every turn, and I don't even know if he is serious about the amount he has presented. But it concerns me. I told him, as this is a commitment between the two of us, I'm happy to help buy a ring. So I'm happy with what I get, and we both work towards that. He said, no, and that it was silly. Oh, this guy is not making it easy.

34:55 Also, I feel like you two want very different things. I don't know if marriage is in your future, truthfully, because it seems like he just wants to do this, and he doesn't want to do anything traditional. He doesn't care about what people think, and you're completely opposite of that.

35:13 Yeah, this guy wants you to propose, With amiibos that you give him. That's what he wants. Well, babe, no one's done that. We'd be different. Yeah.

35:24 Honestly, he would like that. Ugh.

35:27 It's just like, ugh. It's like you can have this thing. Ugh.

35:31 But also, like, give some attention to me as well.

35:36 Like, me and Keon both. Keon has infected me with the Lego bug. And I've started to buy more Legos recently. And I build them. And if someone was like, that's childish, I'd be like, yeah, a little. It's a little whimsical, maybe. I'm not overextending myself, right? But, you know, and he buys them and he doesn't really build. He keeps them all like investments.

36:02 No way, really?

36:03 A little bit, yeah. I mean, it's, you know, he also just doesn't have to, if he built them all, he would have no space for them.

36:09 That is true.

36:09 But it's also like the, yeah, if I need money in a pinch, he has a valuable collection. And it retains its value. But I'm sure if Carly was like, we should think about a ring, he wouldn't be like, well, I've only got about 250 bucks in the tank for that because there's a new Lego Star Wars set coming out I got to save up for. That would be insane.

36:33 That would be crappy.

36:34 He would go, oh, it's childish that you want a ring. That's insane. Yeah.

36:40 This is like every girl's dream. And even if it isn't, It's a symbol of love. It's a symbol of trust. It's a symbol of connection.

36:49 If we're going into a commitment for life, I think it's only fitting if we both put money down for the purchase. I don't mind that at all. If you have any advice, I'd appreciate it. Honestly, I think my advice would be, are you sure you want to get married to this guy?

37:03 Yeah, it seems like you both have different priorities right now. And I don't think either of you are ready to compromise yet. over it. So I don't know.

37:14 There's an update. You'd be safe to say not a lot has changed and this is going to be event. And hopefully some new faces will offer an opinion or advice on how to handle him. Well, what things I should be saying to him as when I point out his actions, he can acknowledge he's doing it, but he doesn't stop.

37:32 Clearly.

37:32 I don't know if I have the right to be annoyed by this as I spend my own money too. I just went out yesterday and spent a hundred bucks on jewelry for myself. I also have a bit of a weakness for Lego. You little cheeky little. Which can be quite expensive. It's true. But I hold off when I'm low on funds. I always save money monthly, too.

37:56 I'm now watching him play Animal Crossing with his brand new Amiibos. Today, he spent $ 371 on them. It would have cost $ 430, but he previously left a deposit when ordering the items. To catch up on the last few months, he didn't pick any up. We recently discussed getting married again, and I have been sorting out my ring size at his request. With a few days until our anniversary, he said he'll need my size. I wasn't sure what it was.

38:21 So our anniversary went by without a proposal, which I expected, as the ball is in my court now. He upped his budget to $ 500 for a ring, apparently. Again, still don't know if this is true. And still doesn't know what the point of rings actually is. How do I explain this to you in amiibo terms?

38:43 That's the only way he'll get it.

38:45 You know how you like your amiibos? I like a ring.

38:49 Imagine wearing amiibos.

38:53 And they're in the shape of a ring.

38:55 Is it making sense?

38:59 He's also looking for a car at the moment. I believe I might be loaning him this money as he's interested in a car that's about $ 4, 500. So he said in one discussion, a ring won't get him from point A to point B. But you're going to buy his car? Bro, what are you doing? I hope everyone is in the comments being like, don't marry this man child. What are we talking about?

39:22 Yeah, don't marry him. He's not ready for it.

39:25 Just hit him with the, why would you want a car? Everyone else has a car. Shouldn't you want it? like a unicycle? Why don't I get you one of those bikes with a big wheel in the front? You can, what is it? A penny farthing. Yeah, I'll get you a penny farthing. Don't you want to be different? You're just getting a car because everyone else has one. Don't you want to be different? Boom. The way I would legitimately smack him in the face with that And when he goes, well, that's different, I'd go, I hate you. Well, it doesn't matter because I hate you. He said this to imply there's no point in the ring. I bought more silver and pearl rings for myself to see how they feel or fit as an engagement ring. And because

40:06 I like to wear them, my fingers swell quite a lot. So I want to see what size would be best for a ring I'm wearing every single day. Sausage fingers. I could and will be measured. but I won't know how a ring will truly fit without testing out some real ones. I don't want to give him the wrong size. Then again, I have asked him to please pick a ring that will allow for resizing, which he has had trouble listening to. I tried asking, but I'm not sure he even heard me, because you've got to put it in amiibo speak. I'm not sure. Yeah, you've got to talk to him like a me character.

40:44 Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.

40:49 Oh wait yeah that's if that song's not playing in the background he can't understand what you're saying.

40:58 Yeah he needs like some point of reference to come back to he feels safe with that on.

41:04 Some rings cannot be pulled apart so i hope he listens anyways i guess i just wanted to vent that things are still a bit off His budget of $ 500 is nothing by comparison to the amount that has gone to toys that have either stayed in the shopping bag, been dumped on our bedroom floor, or left on a shelf.

41:22 He opened one to play, and we played a game together, but overall, not much use will be had with his purchases. It's not so much the plastic, it's the fact that he can't set aside any money towards me. He can't see the worth in buying a ring to symbolize our love and future. He just doesn't see it that way.

41:39 He sees it as a compulsory inconvenience. I had to remind him we had a savings account because we kept having issues collecting enough money for rent. And he was confused about why I needed him to deposit money into our joint account punctually so I could actually set some money aside for rent. He says, oh, we have another account.

41:58 He helped me open it. There's no way he forgot. Where's Sabrina Carpenter?

42:05 Man child.

42:08 Where is she?

42:09 Why you always come running on me?

42:11 It's OP. OP is Sabrina Carpenter. Because that's a man child that you're considering marrying. Don't.

42:19 Don't do it.

42:20 Girl, I swear to God. Don't do it. Run. Get out of there. You are so understanding of this man. You must like him a lot.

42:31 Yeah, you're just really making excuses. And it seems like you're not going to get the ring that you want if you stay. Just so you know. You're not going to get what you want.

42:40 He's financially illiterate. He refuses to just even hear that you want a ring regardless of like, oh, society, blah, blah. Shut up. I want a ring. I'm going to be your wife, right? What are we talking? And you don't want the $ 35, 000 ring. You're going to give him $ 4, 500 for his car? Bye. Please don't do that. He's quite hard to work with financially. I don't know how to get it through to him that we need to save money, we need to work together, and he actually needs to step back from the children's toys. And he won't be able to spend that much for the rest of his life.

43:20 He doesn't make enough money to be blowing it like that. That being said, I spend money too, so I guess I don't know if I'm being fair. I guess I save money, which is something. Anyway, I guess I just need to know how other men and women feel about engagement rings. If I'm being unfair on him because I'm resenting this spending and if there's anything I can do.

43:43 Rings are fine if you want them. You're not being unfair and you can leave. That's how I would respond to that. He's improving on the idea by actually saying he will buy one, but still seems to have the same opinions anyway. He refuses to let me help pay. He won't even walk into a store with me to get my finger measured. He won't look at rings with me.

44:05 He says he has to buy it all on his own without my input. The dumbest way. Oh, God.

44:10 I mean, he's going to buy you some crappy thing, and you're not going to like it, and it's just going to start another argument.

44:16 I can't even show him what types I like. That's the end of the story. Yeah, he's going to buy you Zelda's ring, and it's going to be a toy he can use to play video games.

44:23 Yeah, it's just... You two are on completely opposite sides right now, and I don't think you'll be able to get on the same side because... Your values are different.

44:34 Yeah. Y'all don't even live in the same dimension right now.

44:37 Literally.

44:38 But that is the end of that story. I finally found peace away from my family, but now they're back. Oh no, they found us! Go, go, go! My parents forced me to be responsible for my siblings from a very early age. Parentification. When I was five, it was making sure my siblings were supervised when my parents went to the store or did things around the house, dressed my brother when he needed to go out or go to bed, and he was in my room, so I was supposed to make sure he didn't wander outside the room at night. At five. Five? Too early. Double that.

45:12 He's adventurous. What can he say?

45:15 Those last two things included my sisters when they were two and three years old. Then when they were starting school, I had to walk them to and from school with me since I walked alone before then. And I had to help with homework after school. I was also supposed to give my siblings an after school snack before or during homework if they got hungry. There was also roughly four times a week babysitting most weeks. I was also responsible for making sure my siblings behaved well and did what they needed to do. So if one of them broke something, I was punished and not them.

45:46 So you're the mom.

45:47 What were your parents doing this whole time? Just like going on cruises?

45:51 Yeah, I was wondering that too.

45:53 It feels like your parents would be cruise ship people.

45:56 Just based on all that information, they seem like they're like the Bahamas.

45:59 They're just on a cruise ship talking to strangers like, yeah, we got five kids at home. Or I don't know. The oldest is taking care of them all. Four or five. I don't know. We don't really handle that. Our oldest does. He's five. When they were being loud, I would get yelled at for not keeping them under control. They knew it was happening and I used to beg them to act better. But my brother and younger sister, 21, would ignore me. My baby sister would listen some of the time and then she'd push back if she got annoyed at me for any reason. By the way, this comes from throwawaythenotkid. If you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash okaystorytime subreddit. I'm Dakota. And I'm Savannah. And we're going to read this story where

46:34 this kid is literally a dad. And we're going to have our own thoughts about it. And you get to have yours, too. And you get to put them in the comments. Just know that I don't know everything. She doesn't know everything. And... You might not know everything either, but I'd never say that. And OP says, My siblings acted out badly from third grade until high school. Luckily, I wasn't living at home for all of them being in high school. But when my brother started high school, I was so effing done. I blamed my parents, but I also blamed them for doing nothing to help me.

47:06 I saw our parents as failures and I considered my siblings bad siblings who hadn't earned me sacrificing for them. By the time I was 16, I was one foot out the door planning my escape. And I knew from around that age that I would be going no contact with all of them. Your siblings didn't really do anything wrong.

47:25 They're also victims of your terrible failure parents.

47:28 Yeah, but I don't know. It's just another connection to them. Because if you stay connected to them, you're going to get, you know, you're going to get.

47:35 Well, I think the beautiful thing would be to have the connection with your siblings and you all reject your parents together. Because they weren't your parents.

47:44 Yeah.

47:44 They were just cruise ship people. I'm really sticking on that. I didn't care that they were going to miss me. The resentment and anger and hate I had for my whole family was through the roof. They could feel it in the months leading up to me leaving. They would push for me to say why I was mad, wouldn't believe me when I told them, and pushed more with the belief that I was lying. There was a day my brother and youngest sister were really stuck on math and science homework, respectively, and I ignored them, even though I could have helped. I finished my homework, and I still ignored them. I told them to figure it out for themselves and leave me the F alone. Of course, that also got me into trouble, but I was beyond

48:26 caring about that. My parents argued with me every time I brought up the unfairness of the situation. They told me if I had to miss out on after school activities or friends or on my own homework, then that was only fair because my siblings needed me. No, they need parents. They would also make me stay home if one of my siblings was sick. I was told it was my job to do my part so both of my parents could work. and you know what else they did they saved for my siblings to go to college or do whatever in the future i didn't even have a bank account until i opened up my own when i found out about it my siblings all told me i was being mean and a drama queen my brother even mocked me for it the years of no contact

49:08 were the best years of my life. And I honestly have given zero thought to reconciling until now. And it's only because my siblings contacted me. They told me they missed and loved me and wanted to have a real sibling relationship with me now. I replied a little and told them I wasn't sure. They said they could prove it would be worth it. But they are also trying to convince me that our parents did the best they could and that I have been too harsh on all of them. But I mean... If the context of all of this is that your parents had four kids and they could barely provide for them and had to work all the time and they both had jobs that prevented them from being able to be home, that means they're

49:46 not cruise ship people. So.

49:49 That dream is shattered.

49:50 It makes it a little easier to stomach for me having not had to deal with it at all. But like, still totally fair that you're like, you guys parentified me and I don't want anything to do with you. Yeah, it's not fair to you.

50:04 You literally did not have a childhood because of these people.

50:08 Yeah.

50:08 So, yeah, I'd be resentful, too.

50:10 It's like and if you can't afford one, if you can't afford two kids, if you can't afford kids, don't have kids. Full stop. They're expensive. Yeah.

50:21 And a lot of work and attention.

50:22 Yeah.

50:23 Sometimes you're not going to want to do it, but you have chosen that path. You have to do it.

50:28 I think the real cherry on top for me would have been, like, the fact that they're saving for all the other kids and have bank accounts for all of them, but not me. The one making sure they're being raised.

50:37 Yeah, like, why are you Cinderella? I don't understand what's happening here. It's not like you're, like, a fair child or something like that. And even then, it shouldn't be an issue. But, like. They just have put you in a parental position for what? Because they don't want to do it? That's not cool at all.

50:51 But yeah, reclaim your siblings. Reclaim your sibling relationship. Please, please do it for me. Opie says, they asked me if I resented all of them still, and I said, partially. I told them I knew our parents were to blame, but they never made it easy on me either. Then they went right back to saying, well, it's unfair to say our parents were to blame. I was like, you know what? Leave me alone. And I was better off no contact. They begged me to stop and they told me we need a relationship with each other and they're sorry, but I am having a hard time with it. All the work I did in therapy to release most of that resentment will go out the window if we reconnect.

51:26 I can already say that with a lot of confidence because I feel like none of them appreciate how I was treated badly during my childhood. And I was never given a chance to be a kid like they were. Well, yeah, they don't understand that, but they never will if you just continue to not be in contact with them. Stay no contact with your parents. I would want nothing to do with them.

51:45 Yeah, parents. But, you know, you can't blame the kids because they were kids and that's kind of all they knew.

51:51 Oh, wait, hold on just one second. Worst of all, they still see our parents as blameless. Yeah, and they're going to because your parents gave them stuff that they didn't give you. And also, you know, they did work. They were working. They weren't cruise shipping.

52:07 They're never going to see it from your side because they never had to go through it. They were the golden children and they got everything they wanted. They got bank accounts. They were set for life. They, you know, had someone to look after them at all times. And you you were just, you know, basically the help, which is really sad because you you shouldn't have to feel that way when you're an older sibling. Like not everything needs to like you now have to be the parental figure again. Because your parents can't be parental figures. That's not right to do to a child.

52:38 Yeah, absolutely. But I would try to reclaim that relationship regardless. Because it could be really good. And it might.

52:45 Help you heal from some stuff as well.

52:48 Yeah, you deserve to be able to have that relationship with your siblings. And maybe tell them some of the stuff you went through in therapy. Get a little vulnerable with them. You can't get to the ooey gooey, soft, caring, loving center of life without being vulnerable. It sucks because that also opens you up to like, ooh, ouchie, ow, that hurt. But you can't get to the ooey gooey center without it. So yeah, that's the end of that story.

53:12 My brother trashed my home after a party and my family blamed me. It wasn't me. Okay, so this story starts a little over a month ago.

53:22 Oh no.

53:22 Oh no. It's my brother. Oh, no. He starts telling me that he messed up.

53:53 Oh, no.

53:54 And he had something he had to tell me. Oh, this is getting worse. He burned my couch.

54:00 What?

54:01 Like just a little cigarette burn or you burn it all up?

54:04 It's gone. Which one? How to get burned. First, his story went a little like this. So, hey, man, I was having a party at your house and one of my friends dropped a candle on your couch and it burned a hole into it. The actual story is that they were smoking in my house, which I absolutely do not allow. And ashes fell on the couch and it burned a hole into it. But I only found out two weeks ago. Not as fun. By the way, this comes from Sam Raspy. If you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash okay story time subreddit.

54:31 I'm Dakota. I'm Sophia. We're going to read this story. We're going to have our thoughts. We're going to give our good advice goofily. We don't know everything and neither do you. So put your comments in the comments and we'll read them and see what you know. And we love you. Okay. Opie says, I was quite disappointed. So I told him, why would you even throw a party?

54:47 You were only supposed to look after the house. And now you do this. He apologized and told me his friend will pay for it and they'll get a new couch. How much is a new couch running these days?

54:58 A couple.

54:59 Couple grand, Buster. I have a feeling your brother is unaware of the price tag on this new couch. I don't think he knows how much a couch can cost. And I have a feeling when he says new couch, he says the cheapest couch I can find on Facebook Marketplace. Yes, he's getting a Wayfair couch. So I accepted that offer and said, sure, just get it done before I'm back.

55:19 And he said that he'll do that. When I got back from vacation, he got me almost the same couch. Same size, same color, but with a different texture and fringes? That's kind of a weird vibe.

55:33 Genuinely, I would have not bought a couch without messaging a picture of the couch.

55:40 Yeah.

55:40 To the person that you're giving it to.

55:43 That's a wild move.

55:45 Just like a, hey, thoughts on this one? Do we like this couch? Since it's going to be yours.

55:51 Sorry about the couch incident.

55:53 So I told him these aren't the same. I would like the same couch in return. So he told me that this one was a free pickup just as a temporary fix so he'd have more time to get the right one. I didn't mind because, hey, At least he's putting in effort. Fast forward five weeks now, and he still hasn't gotten me a couch, and he kept making excuses that he couldn't find the time or didn't have the money.

56:20 That you shouldn't have thrown a party in Not Your House.

56:25 Mind you, the couch I had was secondhand, and they're around 100 euros on the secondhand market. My brother is unemployed, doesn't go to school, so he has plenty of time to do stuff and spends all his time going out to dinner and hanging out with his friends, spending money. Where's it coming from?

56:41 Yeah, where is he getting all this money? Is it just your parents?

56:43 Is he stealing it from the bank?

56:45 He's just selling couches. He buys and sells couches.

56:48 He's got money from somewhere, and I mean, look... Honestly, here's what I'd say. You say that every single element of the couch is the same, except it's got a different texture and it's got fringes. Get the fringe off of there. Just cut it off.

56:59 Yeah.

56:59 Cut the fringe off of that couch.

57:01 OP doesn't want to, I think probably she's assuming, oh, I'm going to return this couch.

57:07 I mean, but if it was a free pickup, where do you return it to?

57:10 Oh, free pickup from like a Facebook marketplace.

57:12 Yeah, I think it was. I think it was free.

57:14 Then, yeah, cut the things off.

57:16 I don't know. I think you're going to have better luck with that than actually getting your brother to buy you a different couch.

57:21 Yeah.

57:22 Anyway, so I was fed up and I told him to wire me the money so I can do it myself because I was tired of waiting. I told him I'd need at least 200 euros for the couch, renting a trailer and gas money. Well, he didn't agree and said he'd only pay 150 because he found the same couch for 50. And renting a trailer is $ 50 and remaining $ 50 for gas. Hey, big guy throwing a party in your house, ruining your furniture, talking a lot of big talk. Yeah. I'd just be like, you know what?

57:48 Just send me 200 euros for damages. I'm going to keep this couch. You owe me 200 euros. Give me my old couch back.

57:53 Give it here, Malfoy.

57:55 Let's finish this story. Oh, boy. I told him that even so, 50 bucks on gas just won't cut it because I'd have to drive a total of 400 kilometers to lend a car with a trailer hitch, getting a trailer, picking up the couch, and returning everything. Sister. Huh? Hey. What?

58:11 Hey.

58:12 Come here. What? Not worth it. Not worth it. Not worth it. Cut the fringe off. Cut it off. It's fine. It's too much. Too much work. Gas isn't cheap where I live. Around 2.35 euros per liter or $ 11 a gallon. So yeah, 50 won't be enough. He said he could do it for way cheaper if I allowed him to do it himself. So I told him if it's so cheap and easy. I'll give him another week to do so before doing it myself. For some reason, he saw that as a threat. He went all crazy on me and told me to not threaten him and never talk to him again because he's done helping me. He wired me 250 and told me to never contact him again.

58:52 And now my family is acting like I was the one in the wrong in this situation and had to be more understanding. And I shouldn't have been so harsh on him because he usually always helps when I ask. But I think after giving him six weeks to fix it and him doing literally nothing about it, I had a valid point. So am I the a-hole? What do you mean? Are you threatening me? Are you threatening me?

59:13 You know, I just said, okay, fine. You have a week. If you don't do it in a week, I'm just going to do it myself. It's been like a month and a half. How's that a threat? How's that a threat, dude? The threat is I'll take care of it.

59:26 Yeah.

59:26 How's that? What's the threat? Where's the threat? Crazy. You're not the a-hole. This is weird. Very weird. Very weird. Yeah. I would wonder what your brother told your family to get them all like, you're crazy. Blah, blah, blah. I know your type. But that is the end of that story. Good luck with your fringed couch. Hey, it's Dakota, your favorite host who's always on track here. And we're going to get back to the stories in three minutes after these ads from our sponsors.

59:52 My stepmother demanded I call her mom the day after the wedding. No. My stepmother, 39 female, keeps calling me, 19 female, hers and trying to get under my mom's, 38 female, skin by acting like she's more of a mom than my mom is. Let me give you some relevant background and other info. Some of it might seem unrelated, but trust me, it is. So my parents, 38 female, 39 male, had me, 19 female, together and they weren't married or anything. My mom never wanted marriage, and she has told me the worst period of her life was during her parents' divorce, and they were made miserable trying to split their lives and fighting over every little thing they had, including her and her brother and sister. It

1:00:37 took three years for the divorce to be over and the divorce period made my mom see marriage as something to avoid. But my dad wanted to get married and he pressured my mom for years to marry him. I was three when they broke up because he was no longer okay with not being married. He met my stepmother, 39 female, when I was five. They met and got married within four months of meeting. Whoa.

1:01:00 Within four months? That might be a little quick now that I'm thinking about it. What is that, like half of a baby?

1:01:08 Not even. Almost half.

1:01:09 Less than 50% baby and we get married.

1:01:13 They met and got married within four months of meeting and he introduced me to her a week after they started dating. I remember her and my mom meeting after he was dating her less than a month and she was already acting territorial over me. My stepmother asked me to call her mom the day after the wedding, and I didn't want to. I told my mom about it, and she spoke to my dad. After that, my stepmother told my mom she must be very insecure and weak as a mother to have a problem with me calling her mom.

1:01:40 Wow.

1:01:40 It's like, also, wake up, lady. I don't want to call you mom.

1:01:45 By the way, this comes from throwaway... And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash okay story time subreddit. I'm Savannah.

1:01:52 I'm Dakota.

1:01:53 And we are here to give you some good advice, goofily.

1:01:56 But guess what?

1:01:57 We don't have all the answers. We don't want to tell you what we would do, but let us know what you would do down in the comments. As Opie says, I don't exactly know what my mom said because I was at my dad's house when my stepmother confronted mom over the phone. But my stepmother denied pressuring me when she talked next. And she told my mom to like it or not, but I had two mommies now. Ew, what a freak. My stepmother started calling me hers slash her daughter all the time at that point. I told her I didn't like it three different times, and she told me that was my mom talking, not me.

1:02:30 Oh, right.

1:02:31 Yes. I am my mother now. Right.

1:02:34 My dad told me that it showed my stepmother loved me and I should be happy she wanted me as her little girl too. He said I was very special to them and I should make more of an effort to love her back. My stepmother started saying stuff to get under my mom's skin whenever I had a school play or a recital or anything where parents normally show.

1:02:52 I heard a lot of it, but there were things I missed that I am now aware of. She brought up the fact that mom wouldn't ever get married and how I deserve to be raised by married parents and I would be better off with her and dad.

1:03:05 Right. Yeah, this isn't screaming insane person you married too fast who's obsessed with one-upping the mother of your child. This isn't screaming that whatsoever. This isn't screaming that at the top of its lungs from the top of some kind of mountain, you know? You can see it in your mind.

1:03:25 See it in your mind.

1:03:26 Just the guy on top of the mountain going, everything's normal! I'm a normal person!

1:03:31 Person, person, person. That was the echo in that.

1:03:35 Yeah, your stepmom's a freak. A freak. Not even the cool kind, like just the weird, like everyone goes, God, we can breathe a little easier now that she's not in the room anymore. Yeah. Just an oppressive aura of like discomfort to everyone around her.

1:03:51 She even said that being married to dad made her more my mom than mom giving birth and raising me did.

1:04:00 You're crazy. You're crazy. That's not how that works.

1:04:04 She used to say that her daughter would one day get married because of the example her real parents set. When my stepmother got pregnant with my half brother a couple of years after they got married... She said I would never ever say half-sibling because they were my real family and the baby was my real sibling. When I did say half, she accused mom of being the reason even though two of my friends said half-sibling for their half-siblings and I knew it was because they had a different mom or dad. After my stepmother became a mom for real, she has five kids with my dad. Dang, they got busy.

1:04:39 Why would he have five kids with this woman?

1:04:42 She talked about how giving me siblings brought us closer together and how that bonded me to her as a mom so much. She called us all her babies, and she called my mom the bitter ex-baby mama who didn't know how to give me a family.

1:04:55 Okay, so you're kind of, you're halfway there. You're right in the way that you say, yeah, now that you have more siblings that are half siblings, but that doesn't mean they have to be treated half as good. They can just be your siblings, but... You're an insane lunatic who is doing everything they can to make me want to reject you.

1:05:19 Yeah, that's weird. She would also race to introduce herself to my teachers first and would try to push mom out of the way. Mom never fought back in front of me, but apparently she did say some stuff back when I wasn't around, like how my stepmother was jealous that she gave dad his first child and how they would still be together if she wanted marriage and maybe he was only with her for the sake of being married.

1:05:43 Dang. And she cooked her. She cooked her on. Yeah. She cooked her sous vide.

1:05:49 That is a big burn. You're going to need a bunch of aloe for that burn.

1:05:53 Yeah, and she's right on the money.

1:05:56 She also brought up the fact that I was her twin and that my stepmother never got a child who looked like her.

1:06:02 Dang.

1:06:03 I was 13 when I started to push back more against my stepmother. She told me it was crazy for her to be in my life for that long and for me to say... she hadn't earned the right to call me her daughter and that she hadn't earned the role of mom in all those years. She would bring up everything she did and she would really hammer on the point that she married dad when my mom wouldn't.

1:06:24 I told her I didn't care. I even retaliated over the sibling thing and told her I would just call myself an only child since mom was the parent who mattered more. I also told her that no matter how much she lied and tried to force it, my half-siblings would never be my full siblings.

1:06:40 Yeah, this is like a cautionary tale on how not to be a stepparent.

1:06:43 Yeah, it's honestly very alarming for her to be like, Oh, yeah, I'm your mom now, and you have no relation to your bio mom. I am mom, and she is horrible. You should cut all contact and be with me, because I am sweet and lovely and will love you forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever.

1:07:03 Yeah, it's just like, yeah, clearly this person doesn't have a complex or anything, and she's just a well-adjusted adult.

1:07:10 She's clearly intimidated.

1:07:11 Also, like, what's up with your dad marrying this woman in four months, and she's clearly... clearly like just obsessed with the fact that your dad married her and that i don't know that makes her like the ultimate winner and now she's your mom because they're married and have five kids it's like so and it's like yeah your mom had the sickest burn is like she's probably just crazy because she knows that if i wanted to get married your dad would be married to me.

1:07:35 She's like what She's right.

1:07:38 She's like the most deep-seated insecurity of all time.

1:07:40 True.

1:07:40 Which is weird. Did your dad just marry someone because he's like, I gotta be married. So dumb. Yeah. And then had five kids. So dumb. So dumb.

1:07:49 A few years later, I told dad I wanted to live with my mom full time and he relented because it was not great for my half siblings to live with me there. But he and I continued to see each other. But now that I'm in college, my stepmother is forcing crap even worse. She is still pushing the narrative that I'm hers and trying to push mom out.

1:08:08 I told her not to come to anything and I wanted my real mom there. But she's doing this to solely try and drive my mom crazy. My mom does her best to ignore her but it pisses me off and I'm disappointed my dad won't do more. I want to know what I can do. I'll be honest with everyone as well since it might get asked. I don't love my stepmother. I'm not appreciative of everything she did for me. She isn't someone important to me who improved my life. Her being in my life has been nothing but a negative. I truthfully see, I would say like, just tell her that. But the thing is, she's just going to be like, that's your mom talking. I'll be like, actually, it's not. These are all my original thoughts. Not everything

1:08:47 goes through my mom. And I'm not just a speaker for my mom. I am speaking for myself. And on behalf of me and myself, I don't like you. And I never will. And that's gonna cut her deep.

1:08:57 Like honestly not everyone can do what I'm gonna say and I personally hate it but you can basically just go silent treatment yeah and like you can just talk to her like just don't give her any energy just normal calm don't have to repeat yourself don't even have to argue if she pushes back you just go okay.

1:09:18 Just like gray rock her.

1:09:20 Just say, okay, got it. Don't go out of your way to be like rude or antagonistic or make any interactions like harder than they already are. Just like coast through it, get through it with as little energy spent as possible. And it will drive her insane. Yeah. But honestly, none of this matters once you can just leave. Once you're out of there, none of this matters. And that's the end of this story.