My parents secretly SABOTAGED our venue... three days before the wedding! -r/AmITheAsshole | Reddit Stories | EP3102

0:00 Hey, it's Keon.

0:01 And this is Carly, your favorite OK Storytime host, and we've got some great stories coming up.

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0:11 My parents secretly sabotaged our venue three days before the wedding.

0:16 Hey, when am I supposed to get married?

0:18 My girlfriend and I had planned to get married on Saturday. Oh, that's too soon. We wrapped up all our planning around Halloween. All that was left was to ring sometime this week and make sure everything was running smoothly. She called the venue and the person she spoke to asked her to confirm some changes she apparently made. My girlfriend had no clue what he was talking about, and he reminded her of all the changes that had been put in recently.

0:44 We had not approved any of those changes. Put a password, people.

0:49 Put a password. Put a password.

0:50 We were able to get some of it put back the way it was, but there are some things that we couldn't change back at such short notice. The venue forwarded us the emails asking for the changes so we could look over them. Our communication was being done via an email account we created solely for wedding stuff. And the email address which asked for the changes is the exact same address, except two letters are switched round. Oh, honestly, that's kind of a little bit on the venue.

1:20 Wait, what did they switch?

1:21 So for example, it would be like, OP's wedding at gmail.com. And then this person, this fake person sent like, PO's wedding at gmail.com. Like they switched two letters around. Oh, and they didn't catch that?

1:40 Yeah, and they didn't catch it. Yeah, that is the wedding fault. Or the venue's fault. That's the wedding fault. That's on the wedding.

1:47 The venue is very apologetic for not calling us directly, but can only fix so much of it at this stage.

1:52 Oh, screw you. I'm asking for a refund.

1:55 Yeah, honestly, I'd be like, hey, I never approved this change. This is clearly some sort of scam.

1:59 Exactly.

2:01 We think we know what happened. By the way, this comes from a deleted user. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash okay story time subreddit.

2:08 I'm Sophia. I'm Savannah.

2:11 I'm Keon.

2:12 And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we don't have all the answers. And if you've got answers, give them right now.

2:18 But, oh pieces.

2:19 The whole time we were planning the wedding, we got pushback from both sets of parents. And the stuff they had the biggest issues with have all been changed. I'm willing to bet that all of this was related to at least one of our respective parents. We don't know anyone who would want to F with us or the wedding this badly except our parents, who got pissy when we told them they couldn't financially contribute to the wedding because they were trying to trade their money for whatever wedding stuff they wanted. Right now, The stuff that we wanted that is still in this wedding is my suit, the venue, and the DJ. My girlfriend has gone to pick up her dress and she's not heard from the shop, so we're assuming that hasn't changed. I'm calling around everyone

3:01 and it looks like the menu has been changed, as has the guest list and the cake.

3:07 Oh, that's crazy.

3:08 So, everything. Everything's changed.

3:11 So now it's not even their wedding. Huge. The cake? Why? I'm just shocked about the guest list. No, same. It's like people are going to show up thinking that they are invited because you sent them an invitation.

3:21 I hope it's not like I hope they didn't uninvite, you know, because they probably.

3:26 Just added more people. But still, that's money.

3:28 Yeah.

3:28 If they added more people, I would tell the venue I'd be like, I'm not paying for that. But if they got rid of people, I would understand they might not be able to have seats in time or like have food ready.

3:38 You would also think like this is fishy because why are they changing so much right before?

3:45 We paid for the wedding we'd planned, and it looks like any additional cost from the changes, such as the extra people... Oh, so it's extra people.

3:52 At least it's not... Okay, they didn't... They didn't subtract. That's better, but still.

3:59 We're paid for by someone else, so at least those changes are not on OP to cover. But they wouldn't give me any of the card info for legal reasons.

4:08 It's my wedding!

4:08 Yeah, what do you mean?

4:10 We probably won't be speaking to our parents again after this unless one of them owns up in which case.

4:15 We'll just stop speaking to that one.

4:17 But this feels like a joint effort, as it's dealt with both sets of parents' complaints.

4:23 Before my girlfriend left.

4:24 To get the dress, she gave me permission to post this, as we are seriously considering eloping. We have the marriage certificate here, the honeymoon is unaltered, and exactly what we wanted, and there's a few appointments we could make between now and Saturday at the town hall to get the certificate legally signed and filed. However, we now have around 200 people attending this wedding in three days.

4:46 You can cancel three days before a wedding. No, you can't. People have already paid for dresses and suits and flights. People have made arrangements for their kids probably. Hotels. Yeah. You can't do that to everyone.

5:00 Our original guest list was about 100 including families and plus ones.

5:04 So we doubled?

5:05 Doubled.

5:06 Wait. Then who was invited? How can you? Who was invited?

5:10 They doubled the guest list?

5:12 I would look at the guest list immediately.

5:15 What? No. How would the venue be okay with that days before?

5:19 Because guess what?

5:19 I don't think it was days before. I think they found out days before.

5:22 Oh, okay.

5:23 Well, I'll tell you this right now. The venue is okay with it because they got paid.

5:26 Money, money, money, money.

5:28 People have booked hotels, planes, trains, and are coming from other countries to be here. None of these people have done anything to us and would be getting caught in the crossfire if we were to elope instead. We would be the ailes and we do have an update.

5:43 But what do you guys think? You got to confront the parents. Yeah. And then they're not invited.

5:47 At this point, you've got to.

5:48 You fully uninvite them. You said, don't come to my wedding. I'd be like, someone fess up now. And if you don't, you're all invited.

5:54 Yeah.

5:55 I'd be like, don't mess with it. Like, what is your issue? Because it didn't turn out the way you wanted it.

6:00 I'm also going to the venue and I'm suing the venue. I'm suing the venue.

6:03 Oh, yeah. I want a refund. At least for like, you know, a little bit. Because that's ridiculous.

6:09 Yeah.

6:10 And it's like that is your mistake. Yeah.

6:12 Like you didn't notice that the account wasn't me.

6:15 I'm just suing everyone who just like didn't confirm with me.

6:20 Yeah. Didn't hear my voice. Update.

6:23 I posted in the group chat I have with all four parents that that someone has been screwing with the wedding. We found the email they used, and we've been tracking the IP address to a device and location. This was all absolute BS. We don't even know how to find an IP address.

6:38 That's hilarious. They're doing like a clue right now.

6:41 Yeah, they're bluffing.

6:42 Yeah.

6:43 As soon as I said we'd be tracking the email, they all started pointing fingers and accusing each other.

6:49 Ah, so like a clue. This is definitely a game of clue. Fun.

6:52 It looks like all four of them were in on it together.

6:55 Yeah.

6:56 Still not sure what we're doing about the wedding, but all four parents are uninvited. We're thinking that we might elope for the ceremony and then have the reception as planned. It's all the same party venue and we won't get money back because of the number of people who are coming from all over the place. And we do have an update.

7:13 Wow. Let's keep it going.

7:16 My mother made up the email and her mother helped replan the wedding.

7:20 And there it is.

7:22 We knew they'd been meeting for lunch, but we didn't realize what they were doing in that time. Caterer and baker can fix the menu and cake, and the clothing is all safe. Venue thinks they might be able to fix the decorations, and the parents have paid for the changes. The ceremony itself is the same. We were worried it's been changed from a non-religious ceremony to a religious one, but it hadn't. That's at least something. So we'll probably just go through with the day as it currently stands with a couple changes. We've decided that we will meet up before the ceremony with some close friends, no parents, to sign the certificate so we're not doing it surrounded by strangers, then have the ceremony in rings as planned

8:02 with everyone invited, go to the reception with everyone who has been invited because innocent people have paid out money to be here, and then afterwards we'll go for drinks with the people who were at the signing earlier in the day. The venue offered us security. but we're not going to uninvite the additional people or turn them away.

8:20 And as for our parents, we're not sure. The options are either invite them and let them deal with their invitees so we don't have to, then cut them out of speeches and just don't acknowledge them all day and after the reception cut contact, or just don't let them come, in which case we'll need the security the venue offered because I can't see them just not going. Then you have also said to pretty much just leave it with them.

8:46 They'll put what they can back to what we planned and they're prepared to offer a partial refund.

8:52 Nice.

8:53 Based on what they can't fix. So if they fix 50% of it, they're prepared to refund 25% for the 50% they can't fix.

9:01 No, it should be the 50% you can't fix. Anything that you can't fix and want to refund.

9:07 Yeah, what?

9:08 Oh, sorry. Sorry, that was our fault. We'll give you $ 3.

9:10 Oh.

9:13 I want to do your job. I want a full refund of anything.

9:15 Why would you want like, that's what I don't get about businesses to be so stingy and so cheap. Don't you want them to be like, oh yeah, they messed up, but they totally made it better. They made it so much better. Then I'd be like, you know, there were a little, there were bumps in the road, but then they got there and it was so much better. You have to go with them.

9:32 Yeah.

9:33 Like instead they're like, we can only really do this. Sorry. And we'll never see you again. Update three though.

9:39 We had a small private thing where we signed the certificate with our closest friends. Then we went to the planned ceremony and had a short service where we exchanged rings.

9:48 Followed by a reception.

9:50 We told the parents they were not invited, which I think is the right move.

9:54 Yeah.

9:55 Oh, for sure.

9:56 Yeah.

9:57 Told the venue they weren't invited. The venue put what was essentially a bouncer at the door and they still got in. They don't seem to understand what they did was wrong as they boasted to their guests that they planned it. But we changed it to what you're currently seeing.

10:12 So you confessed?

10:14 And their own guests ended up being the ones to tell them how effed up that was. They were pretty much shamed by their guests into leaving about an hour.

10:23 After they arrived.

10:24 Oh.

10:25 So they did come, but then. They still, oh yeah, so because they still got in. The security didn't work. Yeah, wow, so you paid for screen. Another refund, yeah. What are they there for? Do your job. What? You're getting paid to do this. If you're not doing the job, you don't get paid. Duh, is this like big brain math or something?

10:45 Also, half their guests didn't show.

10:48 Well, that's good.

10:50 It was probably about 60 to 70% of our guests in the end, and we definitely had the majority. Food, including cake, was sorted out, but not decor, and venue are refunding us 50%, which was going to be 30, but then they let the parents in.

11:04 Yeah. Yeah, they were like, so we did fail at that part.

11:08 Yeah.

11:08 Give me 50% or I'm suing you.

11:14 We only spoke to them once to tell them that because after completely effing up our wedding plans, they then couldn't honor one simple request to not come. They would not be hearing from us potentially ever again. And if they contacted us, that would change to definitely never hearing from us again. We are currently in the cab on our way to get drinks with the same friends who were at the signing earlier and then off on our honeymoon, which sounds great. A nice, relaxing honeymoon is what you need.

11:43 After your parents... After your wedding. Yeah, just ruined your... Or tried to ruin your wedding. And literally for what? Yeah, for what? Like, did they think you were just going to be okay with all of that? Like, and doing it behind your back. What kind of parent are you?

11:56 I know.

11:57 Like, why are you trying to... Why? Why? Like sabotage my daughter son's wedding. Why? Because you didn't like what they changed.

12:07 Yeah.

12:07 You didn't like the cake.

12:09 Yeah.

12:10 And the menu.

12:10 Yeah.

12:11 You're potentially never going to talk to your son slash daughter again.

12:16 Yeah.

12:17 And then you add 100 more people. At least you got the cake that you wanted at not your wedding.

12:24 Was it worth it? Yeah.

12:25 At this point just make your renew your vows. Make your just redo your wedding. Just why use it for your kids' wedding or like anybody else's wedding? So, yikes. And that's the end of this story. We're good to go. On to the next one.

12:41 My girlfriend got a pet for her small apartment without my knowledge. Hey, get your small butt out of here. For the last nine months or so, my girlfriend, 24 female, has been asking me, 25 male, to get a pet. At first, it was a dog or cat, and when I said that I didn't think we were ready for it, she would still bring it up until finally backing down, or so I thought. Six months ago, it was her birthday, and she brought up getting a pet again, and I responded with the same reasons why. Small apartment, which I would like to note that I pay for and is in my name for transparency's sake. When I was younger, I was allergic to cats, so I'm not sure if I will be this time around cats. Or to what severity,

13:25 I feel our relationship is still too young to commit to a pet. We have very different work hours, but both each work in surplus of 40 hours a week, sometimes as much as 60. A pet is an expensive thing if you treat them properly, and right now I'm very concerned with trying to pay off my student loan debt.

13:45 Not if you do it properly. If you do it properly, it's going to cost a lot. But if you do it, like, really stupidly, I just did not like how you, yeah. How you did that.

13:55 It should always be properly. Yeah, I would hope that you're always treating your pet properly.

14:00 I did tell her that I certainly want pets in the future because I grew up with both cats and dogs and love them both. But that time isn't right now. By the way, this comes from Please No Pets. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash okay story time subreddit. I'm Savannah. I'm Sophia.

14:15 I'm Keon.

14:16 And we're here to give some good advice goofily, but we don't have all your answers. We're only going to talk about what we know. So let us know what you know in the comments. As Opie says, the week before her birthday, we agreed to get a fish instead. It would bring life to our apartment, was low maintenance, and felt like a good compromise. On her birthday, when we were going to get one, she told me she didn't want a fish and that she was hoping I'd just reconsider for a cat or dog.

14:42 Uh, nope. That's upsetting.

14:44 And then you just go, no.

14:47 We did a compromise. It was a fish.

14:49 Yeah, sorry, no. So I said once again that I wasn't ready for one and we got into another fight about it. On and off for the last six months she would say that she wanted a cat and kept saying how low maintenance they are and how she would be the one taking care of it. I insisted that I didn't think we were ready for a pet yet and that I wouldn't be ready until our living conditions, work schedules, and finances changed a bit. She of course disagreed and we have been arguing about it since. Until...

15:17 Last night. Oh, no. She finally agreed. Like, oh, yeah, we're not ready. And she listened to you. That's what happened.

15:26 She got you guys a fish.

15:28 I think someone offered her a cat and she took it. I don't think she went out and got one and bought one. I think someone offered her one. And she's like, well, I can't just leave it out. And I've always wanted to. It was out in the cold. That is a different situation. That's true. It is still crappy of her. The cat calls to you. Yes, it is still crappy of her.

15:46 But then that's a different thing to talk about. Be like, oh, he doesn't have a home. It's blah, blah, blah, all this stuff. But if you're going out and deliberately just going against your partner's wishes when he pays for the house. You deliberately disobeyed me. Yeah, that's sad. Last night, after I went to work, I work overnights, she messaged me on Facebook and told me that she paid for and brought a kitten home. Messed up.

16:09 She can't take no for an answer.

16:11 Yeah, and that's when I'm like, hey.

16:12 Like, We talked about this, and I feel very upset that you went by my back and did this anyway.

16:16 Exactly. I think we should break up. What do you think about that? She says no.

16:19 Oh, wait.

16:20 Weird, because I also have a say in this.

16:23 That's so funny, because remember when you did something behind my back?

16:26 I was absolutely shocked that she would do this. I feel completely disrespected, and my feelings about it are worthless. We argued about it a lot. At first, I didn't know what to say, but it felt like I had to seem incredibly upset, because I am. and don't want to make it seem like I'll let this all be okay, but now we seem to be at a standstill. She says she's keeping the kitten, and I told her to bring it back after work today. I do love my girlfriend, but I feel like this violates any kind of partnership I thought we had. She said she thinks I try to act more like a figurehead in our relationship than a partner, and maybe that is the case, but this certainly isn't what a partnership should be like, right? No,

17:10 it's not. It's not at all.

17:11 And I think that's super disrespectful, not only as your partner, but also as your roommate.

17:18 It's okay.

17:18 It's just the book.

17:21 But like as your roommate, I think it's very disrespectful, especially when you said I am allergic.

17:26 Update. Long update. Shortly after I posted my original thread, I got home from work and found the kitten. Girlfriend had already left for work before I got home. Because it was so young and playful, it mewed. when I left it in the kitchen slash living room with the doors closed to the bedroom so that it wouldn't wake me while I slept during the day. It was heartbreaking to feel like I was ignoring her and the thought of no one being able to play and care for her was exactly what I feared about getting a pet when I said to my girlfriend that I didn't think we were ready yet. Before I fell asleep, I texted my girlfriend at work telling her all of this and how awful it made me feel. I fell asleep. When

18:07 I woke up, I read through the comments that all of you left me, laid in bed for a little bit, and then girlfriend came home. I reiterated how badly it made me feel not being able to take care of the little kitten and how it only solidified in my head that we weren't ready for a pet. I took some suggestions that others had offered, such as giving her a hard expectancy date for when we could get a pet and what stipulations would allow that, but she didn't want to hear it. I asked her to bring it back, give it to her parents or someone else, but she just flat out said no. We argued about some of the stuff I mentioned in the original post about how she felt I was more of a figurehead and some other things until I took a shower. I considered everything

18:49 you guys had said, some of which I did or did not agree with, as well as my own thoughts on the matter. And when I stepped out of the shower, she had fallen asleep on the couch. For another half hour, I thought about things over and over in my mind until I finally made a decision I felt there was no going back from. I walked up to her. She woke up and I said, I don't think this is a healthy relationship anymore and I think you should move out.

19:16 And then I walked out. This was three weeks ago. That first night was the hardest for me. I missed her next to me in bed, especially when I came home from work in the morning. And being with her doing everyday things like grocery shopping and at that point wasn't sure if I actually wanted this. She moved in with a friend because she doesn't have family from around here and we were texting semi-regularly.

19:39 About our relationship.

19:41 She said that she thought it was best we didn't live together for now. She said she felt like she was in a harmful relationship. not physically but emotionally that because i asked her to move out it took away the safety she felt while with me i'm gonna pause he op does not from how he is feeling about this and how he has perceived himself through his text I do not believe that he would be harmful. He does not seem that way.

20:09 She's accusing him? I was trying to understand what she was trying to say.

20:13 She's accusing him? She's accusing him of being harmful because he kicked her out. And she was like, that was my safety. I don't have anywhere else to go. So now she moved in with a friend. That's ridiculous. It's not like I randomly was like, all right, you got to go. You chose to disobey my rules in my home that I pay for.

20:32 Yeah.

20:33 And I said, hey, can we talk about this?

20:35 You said no. Yeah. You don't. Your name is not on the lease.

20:39 Yeah.

20:40 And it's just like, OP seems like they're really trying to make this work. Like he felt bad. He's like, it's not that I am mad at her, you know, for doing that. Obviously I'm disappointed and I feel disrespected, but it's more so I feel bad for the cat. Cause I'm not going to be here to take care of it. Exactly. Like she's not even a good cat parent.

20:57 And she he also never flat out was like never getting one. He said when we can.

21:02 He said he said when we're at a stage in our life and relationship where I feel more comfortable and ready.

21:09 Sure. But but then she took that as. Oh, right now. Yeah.

21:13 Well, the thing is, she heard was we can get a cat.

21:15 She heard we're getting a cat.

21:17 So he said yes on a technicality. Well.

21:20 It's just like you, I never said, I never flat out told you no. But then when you did something that you deliberately did against my wishes, you can say no? Yeah, that's ridiculous. Like double standard.

21:33 Bye.

21:34 I told her that if I had a child who felt like they were in a harmful relationship, I wouldn't want them to be with their partner either. So if that was her decision, I would support it. I knew that wouldn't be good for our pseudo relationship. but I agreed that it might be better she move out. The second week, we got together a couple times and talked face to face. She admitted that it was wrong to bring home a pet like she did without me on board.

22:00 She also told me she bought a pack of cigarettes and smoked two of them before her friend told her to throw it out. Before that, she hadn't smoked in over a year because I asked her not to anymore. It unalived me because I really thought she wanted to make those kinds of positive steps in her life For more than just me, but I was wrong.

22:20 She's guilt tripping you. She's absolutely guilt tripping you. She's like, oh, since you punted me out, I've gone back to smoking.

22:28 I'm waiting for her to say the words of, you made me do this.

22:31 Yeah, like, you led me to this. All of this sent things in the wrong direction again, despite it seeming like we were actually going to try and work on our dynamic and make things healthier for both of us. This past weekend, we went to a friend's engagement party together. Things were okay there, but the following day she went camping with her family and then came over to see me last night. I had a feeling things weren't going to be the same. We had stopped texting frequently, rarely saw each other over the last few weeks, and when we did talk, it was mostly platonic subjects. It felt over and I felt lost. And also, I'm hot. Anyone else really hot or what? I'm perfect.

23:13 I'm very hot.

23:14 We need to get you another fan. We need to get you two fans. We need to get... He needs 12 fans. I feel like you could get fans that could attach to the computer or something.

23:24 Yeah, a little fan. You need a little fan. Get this man a little fan. Last night, she told me she thinks we should break up. Dude, he already broke up with you. What do you mean? I think they were on a break, but... Yeah. She moved out, though, so I just considered... If you're moving out, you're broken up.

23:40 I'm not going to move all my stuff back in. I just hope she's.

23:44 Not bad mouthing you or like talking about you in a bad manner because of your boundary and the disrespect she did.

23:52 She felt that we have too much baggage and we'd be too resentful of one another to be able to continue forward. I thought we were on the verge of working through things, but I guess she did not. She said she still wants things to be amicable because we were. After all, great friends. I told her that I couldn't be just friends and it would hurt too much to see what she's doing with and with whom without me too.

24:18 We both still love each other. We both told each other that. I told her that I probably will always love her. We hugged for a couple minutes and then she left. And that's it. Wow.

24:29 What? You know what?

24:31 Needed to be done. Needed to be done. Yeah, OP, I feel like you're too nice of a person to be with someone like this who's just... blatantly disrespecting your boundaries.

24:40 I agree. Just not even like giving it a second thought. And I think even she knows. I think she's like, you know what? This wasn't healthy. And then hopefully she makes the realization of like, oh, wow, my, you know, ability to resist and not, you know, fall into bad habits was directly tied to this relationship.

25:00 And I need.

25:01 To figure out how to not, you know, have that happen.

25:06 And that's the end of this story. we're gonna go on to the next one. Hey, it's Keon, the silliest goose. We're going to get back to the stories, but here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

25:16 My boyfriend talked behind my back to his friends, then one of them confirmed it.

25:22 Oh, get rid of them.

25:23 For background, my boyfriend and I have been together for seven months. After meeting on a dating app three months before that.

25:31 Okay. This is my first relationship.

25:34 Ooh.

25:35 Okay. And he means everything to me. Oh, no. Calm yourself.

25:40 Even though I know it hasn't been a year yet. He's smart, ambitious, kind, and we agree on all the things that matter, like politics and morality. My boyfriend is someone who tries very hard with everything in life. His academics, his physical health, his friendships. He works very hard to maintain quality in all aspects of his life.

25:59 What a tryhard.

26:00 Yeah. Loser. Aw, nerd.

26:04 However, I am the complete opposite. And that's where the conflict comes from. I am someone who's just flunked her first year of university, cannot maintain consistency in the gym, barely studies, and barely keeps in contact with her best friends. He has an issue with this. He feels as though because of my lack of action to improve my life with my own intrinsic desire, he has to motivate me to get out and do something with my life, which is exhausting. As a result, he feels burnt out from our relationship. By the way, this comes from SomeIntention3669, and if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash showcase story time subreddit.

26:42 I'm Sophia. I'm Savannah.

26:44 I'm Keon.

26:45 And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do, so let us know what you would do in the comments. And Opie says, We have had multiple conversations that usually start with me being a lazy bum and him saying that he needs someone who is able to persist in hard situations in his life. and that he wants me to be this person. These conversations will usually contain both of us coming up with systems for me to become a more productive person, me being apologetic and saying that I want to change my life to become a better version of myself, and me promising to change.

27:20 The issue is that I.

27:21 Seem to never change, and I don't know or understand why.

27:25 Can we pause?

27:26 Yes.

27:26 I think she's depressed. I agree. I think you are mentally drained by something, whether that is something that has uh now caused you to you know look look in within yourself and be like oh and i think he's a constant reminder of the things that you're not doing yes so i think that that is also there's a little tension here and there i also just don't think that you're ready for this relationship.

27:51 Yeah this is something that you probably have to work on on your own and.

27:55 It's not his job job yeah I will.

27:59 Go for two to three weeks with a new system and then burn out soon after. So clearly something's not working for you. The only thing that is stuck is me not doom scrolling anymore.

28:09 That's honestly very impressive.

28:11 We thought that was the main issue, but it's just my discipline. I've also promised him that I won't see a counselor, but I never did and I feel horribly guilty.

28:18 Okay, well, yeah. Oh, yeah.

28:20 OP, I feel like you guys got to break up.

28:23 He's trying so hard.

28:24 I think he's ready to break up. I mean, you already checked out. He seems like he's checked out.

28:28 I want to like really quickly put this in a different lens. If you had a partner who told you, oh, you know, I'm committed to you. I'm not seeing anyone else. And then you found out they lied and they cheated on you.

28:41 Would you not break up?

28:43 Obviously this is not a cheating situation, but it is a constant lying saying I will do something promising and then lying, which.

28:51 I don't want to be with a liar. No, it's like, like, I, with my ex, I told him, I was like, you need therapy. I mean, he's gone through a bunch of stuff. He was just messed up. And I was like, you just need therapy. I think it would help you so much to realize, oh, when I'm angry, I should react this way, not the other way. You know, whatever.

29:06 People need to come to that conclusion on their own.

29:08 Exactly. But then he would go, but then the first time he went was when I broke up with him. And then when we got back together, he stopped going. I'm like, God, you're doing it backwards.

29:18 If he continues, just now we had another conversation that stemmed from me not being able to have Confronting intellectual conversations about politics and media without crying. And then another conversation occurred where we talked about the same things mentioned. Wait, you can't talk about media without crying?

29:35 What are you talking about? She's not doom-scrolling anymore. She doesn't know what's real. What is? like, I thought the Odyssey and the special effects were really good. Argos. They used jet skis to create the world.

29:51 Anyway.

29:51 We also had a break, which I asked for, because I needed time to think about our relationship.

29:57 Seven months in? Or ten months fully?

29:59 But yeah, that's just 10 months of dating. Seven months into the relationship. You need to end this relationship.

30:04 This is not healthy. I agree. Duchess, she's lying to herself the most.

30:09 There you go.

30:10 I felt so guilty that he was holding on to our relationship despite me hurting him through broken promises of change. And I thought I was a horrible person for continuing to stay with him despite hurting him.

30:22 You're not a horrible person. You are a bad partner. And you have to learn that. And I think she does know that, but she can't change it. And that's just, like, weird to me. You know the issue. Why are you not taking steps towards, you know, making this... Like, if you took steps towards it, that is helping not only you, but the relationship.

30:41 Like, what?

30:42 I want to change for the better, but I'm not sure where to start.

30:45 Please help.

30:46 I really want to stay with him. And we do have some extra background. Previously, he had a good friend named Mark. Mark had a girlfriend, Sierra.

30:54 Oh.

30:55 Well, this is the main post. So, I think that was just, like, background information. So.

31:00 Before we get into that main post, what would be your advice?

31:04 Say that sentence one more time, that last one.

31:06 Please help, I really want to stay with him.

31:08 Does he really want to stay with you?

31:10 I mean, that is the question, yes. But, I mean, like, yeah, what is your advice for both of you?

31:17 If, OP, you've said it, you feel guilty for doing this to him time and time again, how do you think he feels when you fail him time and time again?

31:28 It's it's he's as stuck as you are. It's like you're feeling bad, but you're still not doing anything about it. So you're just sitting there. And like, I completely understand the where do I start? You know, please help. I don't know where to start. The first thing you need to do. find a therapist, go to counseling, go somewhere where you can express this because getting professional help is going, that's just the first place to start. And then they're going to give you all the tools you need to be like, this and that and the other thing. Now it's making sense why I'm procrastinating. why I'm doing all this.

32:02 Your boyfriend is not a trained therapist.

32:04 Exactly. And he can only do so much. Like, and no person should have that burden on them to not only help themselves, but then to help you figure out your life for seven months, you know, come on. Like you have to be an adult now. I understand, you know, you're, something's happening to you. You're going through some sort of transitional period where, You need to get help for this.

32:26 You don't know where to go. You don't know how to navigate it. There is help for that. But Kian, what do you think?

32:31 You should also not be doing it. Yes, you want to do it for your relationship, but you shouldn't be just doing it for him. You should be doing it for yourself, mainly for yourself, because you know this is a recurring issue for you. And yes, it will help your relationship with him or with other people. Because if this is something you're doing with your relationship with someone you care about.

32:49 Her friendships have not been doing well.

32:51 Yeah. So that definitely ties into your everyday life.

32:54 And you might not be able to do that with him.

32:57 You need a metamorphosis. Yeah.

32:59 You're alone. You don't, you know, you're not really keeping up with your friendships. Like we are humans. We need to communicate. We need to, we are social creatures. We, you know, even that means even if that's communicating online or whatever, like it's just like something you just have to.

33:14 But we got the main post. Previously, Opie's boyfriend had a good friend named Mark. Mark had a girlfriend, Sierra, who I had become friends with after I started dating my boyfriend. After a while, Cassie joined the friend group when she started dating Tom. Sierra started telling Cassie that she was worried for me as apparently my boyfriend wasn't the nicest person and would.

33:35 Talk behind my back.

33:37 This led to a whole situation where Sierra had essentially tried to break my boyfriend and me up. When I asked my boyfriend why she would ever do such a thing, he said that Sierra had always had it out for him and that I shouldn't believe her. This was easy to believe due to Sierra's own erratic behavior, so I brushed it off and stopped contact with her. A couple of nights ago, my boyfriend and I had gotten into an argument regarding boundaries as I had given his friend Tom's girlfriend condolences. Cassie advice regarding an issue they had.

34:11 Tom is an English major, meaning that he has an extended vocabulary and often speaks in a confusing way to most people. Whereas Cassie doesn't have a tertiary education and therefore has a difficult time communicating the point she wants to make. As a result, Cassie has come to me for advice, and I obliged, helping her structure her thoughts and argument. I thought that all I did was help a friend in need have a productive conversation with her boyfriend.

34:37 During that conversation with Cassie, I had made a jab at Tom, saying that for someone who cares about societal issues, he sure as heck isn't well-read on women's issues.

34:47 Oh, you got Tom. Got him. Was it a mean jab? Yeah, but was it true?

34:53 Yeah.

34:55 Well, that jab wasn't appreciated by my boyfriend, who read the message I sent after Tom showed him. He then had a conversation with me saying, saying that first, I am not well read up on anything, so I am in no position to make that comment.

35:09 Okay.

35:10 Second, that I was grossly overstepping boundaries and imposing on their relationship. And third, that my actions could potentially impact his 10-year friendship with Tom, which he didn't want. He suggested that I stop my communication and friendship with Cassie, worrying that it would lead to a repeat of the situation with Sierra.

35:28 This is concerning, too. Now it seems like he's trying to.

35:32 It seems I'm a little bit worried that this has gone from a situation where your boyfriend was just trying to help and was maybe becoming overwhelmed to a situation where he feels the need.

35:42 To be your savior.

35:44 Or the fixer. Yes.

35:45 And that dips into control. I agreed and said that I would text Cassie about it, but he told me to just slowly stop contact and block her. I disagreed, saying that I don't end friendships that way and that she deserves to know the gist of why we can't be friends. A couple of days later, two days ago to be exact, I called Cassie telling her that we should minimize contact so that we no longer cross that boundary and highlighting that I felt bad for the comment I made about Tom. She then told me that Tom had never had an issue with what I had said and that although it was jarring at first, he actually appreciated me calling him out as it was true. It turns out that it was originally my boyfriend's sister who

36:27 said I was imposing and she told him to get me to stop being friends with Cassie. My boyfriend was making an issue out of something the victim, quote unquote, didn't deem to be an issue. Tom had also apologized to my boyfriend, saying that he had been a bad friend for not calling out my boyfriend on how.

36:45 He treats me and that he should have done it sooner.

36:48 Cassie then texts me after our call, telling me that there was something she forgot to mention. She told me that our boyfriend, throughout our relationship, had been calling me names behind my back to his friends, was constantly complaining about me, And had once made a remark about how I looked in front of everyone when I wasn't there.

37:07 Then why is he dating you?

37:09 I think he's the fixer.

37:11 Do you think it's a superiority complex?

37:14 Absolutely.

37:15 I think he feels better. I think he's like, I'm smart. I'm capable.

37:18 And I have this little project. Yes.

37:21 His family friend, who was almost like a second dad to him, had met me for the first time and told my boyfriend he was pulling above his weight. And my boyfriend responded, not without the kilo of makeup on her face.

37:33 Wow. Okay, so you don't like me then.

37:37 Did he just burn himself though?

37:39 Wow. Okay, now I don't like him. I don't understand.

37:43 I'm sorry. When someone tells me that my boyfriend is hot, I'm like.

37:46 I know. Oh, thank you. Yeah, I feel great. Yeah, me too. I take it as a compliment.

37:51 I'm like, yes.

37:52 At first, I couldn't believe it, thinking that this was going to be another Sierra situation. But then Tom, his friend of 10 years, confirmed it. I was in shock, in total disbelief that during the entirety of our relationship, he had been talking badly behind my back when not once have I ever brought up our relationship issues to my own friends. He has told me multiple times that he doesn't want to meet my friends out of fear they will manipulate how I see him.

38:19 Yikes, girl. This guy.

38:21 That was some pretty big context in the beginning of your relationship. Wow.

38:25 Yeah. I was like, oh, I feel so bad for him. Yeah.

38:28 Nope.

38:29 Now we know what's making you depressed. Yeah. I was distraught.

38:34 Crying the whole of yesterday, figuring out what to do. And also makes sense why she said that her relationships have not been doing well.

38:41 If he's telling her to cut them off. Yeah. Oh, bye.

38:45 I was adamant I was going to break up with him or at least take a break. So last night we were calling like we always do as we like to sleep on call. Throughout that call, he was saying he loved me and used my pet name saying that we would go on a nice date the next day. And he asked to go grab the corn dogs that we couldn't get last time. I don't know what happened, but I just couldn't hold it in anymore. I think it was because I was planning on having a tough conversation with him that day. so hearing him talk about the nice date he wanted us to go on made me break. I started quietly sniffing, hoping he wouldn't notice.

39:16 Just when we were about to sleep, I sniffed too loudly, and he asked me if I was alright. I said that I was, but he pushed. At that point, I felt that there was no use hiding it anymore, so I told him that I was upset with him and that I had heard stuff from credit sources we had a long conversation that ended up with us breaking up now i'm thinking that i had blown this way out of proportion that i was being too rash and that i now regret with all my heart having had this conversation over the phone i miss him so much now and i hate that i wasn't able to hug him kiss his forehead and smell his hair one last time i'm hurting so much and I don't know if I made the right decision. I just need some advice on

39:53 how to move forward, whether I should contact him to meet in person for closure, or if I should just let it all go. I wronged him in the past, and he has forgiven me for all those times, and I'm just wondering if I wasn't empathetic enough.

40:07 Girly pop.

40:08 First relationship, remember. First relationship.

40:10 This makes some, okay.

40:12 No, you're not in the wrong. Stay broken up. You did good, and I'm glad that you got out You know, seven months in.

40:21 Yeah. Very short relationship.

40:23 As soon as you start going to therapy and helping yourself, you are going to be.

40:26 Like, oh, wow.

40:27 That's why I couldn't make any changes in my life.

40:30 I had this block. I had this man-shaped block.

40:34 And that's the end of this story. We're going to go on to the next one.

40:37 My girlfriend accused my best friend of seducing me. I'm done with her. They must have done a bad job. I, 27 male, grew up with a female best friend named Alva, 28. Ovia. Our parents are a tight-knit group, so we have been super close since we were babies. We used to spend almost all of our holidays together. We went to the same school up until university. And we also went to the same extracurriculars throughout our entire childhood. That being scouts, mixed gender. I moved when I was 22, so we don't live in the same city anymore. But I truly see her as my sister. Alva has always been very much the hippie type. staunchly feminist, and also aspect identity.

41:22 She doesn't smectualize her own body, so she doesn't care if anyone else does. Okay. It first started sometime when we were 14 during a ridiculously hot summer when I went shirtless pretty much an entire week at camp. During day three of the all sun, no shade, she also decided to take her shirt off. None of the adults seemed to care, and so she just kept doing it.

41:45 And she kept doing it the rest of the summer, and every summer following that. By the way, this comes from hashtag free the nips. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash okay story time subreddit. I'm Savannah.

41:57 I'm Riley.

41:58 I'm Keon.

41:58 And we're here to talk about some stuff, give some advice, but we don't have all your answers. We're only going to tell you what we do, so let us know what you would do down in the comments. As Opie says... Basically, during any time, you may expect a regular man to be shirtless in public, like at a barbecue or at the beach. Alva will be shirtless. She'll also be shirtless when she's camping, doing sweaty labor like yard work, or sometimes when she's just out for a stroll in the forest to be closer to nature. Nice. I should start doing this.

42:27 Is she, like, shirtless shirtless? or is it like bra still we need to know.

42:33 No it's hopeless i think because the the username was free the nip so yeah but where do they live.

42:40 Too is this like england new zealand i.

42:42 Don't know i mean there's definitely a forest it's.

42:45 Got to be new zealand why i don't know i feel like they'd be in america we're doing this stuff it could be.

42:51 I started dating my current girlfriend julia about a year ago and she's met alva About four times since then. I normally call Alva once every other week, but I've started doing it more frequently now since I don't have a ton of other friends and not much else to do. You know, because of circumstances. And even Julia and Alva have started calling each other sporadically just to keep company.

43:14 Ah, this is during the vid.

43:17 That makes sense. Oh, so yeah. I'm going shirtless everywhere.

43:20 In the vid.

43:20 Are you kidding me?

43:21 Make sure to put a mask on.

43:24 These don't need masks. Three days ago, Julia and I were talking about music festivals, and so I dug up some old pics from a particular one that my friends and I went to nine years ago. Julia asked something like if I thought it wasn't a bit snooty for a girl to be topless. It was a music festival, so everyone looked like psychedelic spicy dancer hobos. I laughed and said no, since Alva is literally a lifelong virgin. Oh, wow. Yeah, well, she said she had an A-spec identity, so she don't like others. She's by herself, and she's cool with that.

44:01 Everything goes out, nothing goes in.

44:03 Yes. Nice. Nice.

44:06 He's a woman doctor. He's an everyone doctor.

44:08 He is a woman doctor. Yeah, yeah, this is woman. This is anatomy for women. She asked me what I meant, and I explained that Alva didn't believe in covering her chest in situations that men don't have to. Preach. Preach. I'm right there with you. I'm like, men can do whatever just because I have these bumps on me. I am doing the world a favor by taking off my shirt.

44:30 You're welcome.

44:31 The Europeans, they're way ahead.

44:34 She freaked out on me, saying how that was super weird of her and inappropriate. I said that she has been doing it for over 10 years now, and she said that a t * * * less teenager had to be disturbed. Now that is a stretch. That's crazy. To be like, you should feel bad about your body.

44:50 She thinks differently than you. Give her that.

44:52 I'll give her that, sure. During our argument, she accused Alva of trying to seduce me, accused me of getting off to her shirtlessness, and that her as * * * uality... was made up BS. And now she's being really rude.

45:08 That's really unhinged.

45:10 Yeah. So not only did you, like, say that I'm in the wrong for wanting to do what I want, which is hurting no one, now you're gonna say, oh yeah, and also your friend's little, like, uh, Identity here, BS.

45:23 Time out, time out. She may have not been around people who identifies that.

45:28 That is true.

45:29 She's probably never been around monks or nuns.

45:31 But why does it automatically have to go to your different negative point of view?

45:36 Oh, yeah, because it's different and I don't agree with it. It's negative.

45:39 Exactly.

45:40 Or it's like it's wrong or it's bad.

45:42 Yeah.

45:43 Or I'm going to judge you for it.

45:44 Some people don't have the emotional capacity to express how they truly feel. They just do whatever comes to mind.

45:51 Yeah. I just hung up on her there and then. She followed up with a text two hours later where she said she expected me to never call Alva again and then she would forgive me. A text to which I still haven't replied. Am I the a-hole? No. Why would you be the a-hole? She like, she came at you for something that you've done since, I don't know, you were little.

46:14 It's like breathing air. It's like, this is it. This is normal. Yeah.

46:18 She's like, isn't that like, yeah, in your in your version of your world, it may look a little different, but I shouldn't have to feel ashamed of that. It's not hurting anyone. If it was negatively affecting people, then I'd be like, OK, then let's dial it down.

46:31 Let me help. Let me help you. Easy. See, that was easy.

46:36 I mean, Julia's coming at it. With her point of view. Oh, my boyfriend might cheat on me with her. Look at how she's doing all those things, blah, blah, blah. But like literally out of all the people you would want your boyfriend to be best friends with, all that would be the perfect choice for this because, you know, she's a tool. She doesn't identify with that. She's just a free life hippie going about life how she is. And, you know, it's a fun person to be around.

47:01 Yeah. And yeah.

47:02 You know, growing older, if I'm not comfortable being around Alva whenever she's shirtless, I'd maybe say something or just not be around her during that time. But the root of the problem is Julia is having a lot of jealousy issues.

47:15 And insecurity issues, yeah.

47:17 Yeah, so if you want to be with someone that's insecure, by all means.

47:21 We got some comments. Comment number one says, I will ask, though, why didn't you mention Alva's shirtless to Julia before? I can see how it would be a shock if you're not used to it. I agree with them. OP responds, Julia hasn't ever seen Alva shirtless, so I didn't think much of warning her yet. It's not like she might suddenly whip out a thing at a restaurant, and it's not her most defining feature. I most likely would have warned her if we were going to be in a scenario where Julia would see her shirtless. Oh, so she's like, well, you were never going to really see her like that.

47:56 Yeah.

47:57 So I don't think it really matters. Yeah.

48:00 Oh, and there is an update. I just thought I'd mention that we're not from the States, but from Stockholm, Sweden. Obviously not an anti-shirt dictatorship, but it's fully legal. I also didn't mention because I was at like 299 characters. that Julia and I went to the Pride Parade together last year, as I do every year, and we saw plenty of chest. She didn't express any discomfort then, so I didn't think she would be as upset as she was.

48:30 Did you stay with her? Why is she being so weird about it then? So it's not because she's a teenager and it was photographed that way? Is that why Julia had a problem with it? Where is she coming at with this? Because it feels like her statement or argument no longer is valid. Cause they usually go to the pride parade together.

48:48 Yeah. I just think because Alva is Opie's, you know, best friend and then there, she just whips them out. And she's like, that's weird to do in front of, you know, someone of the opposite gender.

49:01 Yeah.

49:02 Yeah. You know, crush on her or something like that. I'd be like, Oh, like I would be a little, I would be a little off, off putting, it would be off putting if, I was in that situation of like, I wasn't told like she was, she would be doing that or something. And then all of a sudden we're camping, whatever. together.

49:20 And then she's, boom. I'm like, whoa.

49:22 What?

49:23 Yeah. It's very natural. It's not like.

49:26 But then I would also just do it.

49:27 Not to smectualize anything.

49:29 It's more like, well, guys can do it all the time.

49:32 Yeah.

49:32 Like, whenever they want. Just like, you know, they can just go outside and pee wherever they want.

49:37 You can too.

49:38 And I do. I actually was doing that a lot on vacation. Because I hate, you know when you're like, you know, I was like in the pool, whatever, you get out. I don't want to sit on like a wet, like a wet seat. So I just went over. I went into the woods and just, yeah. And I did and I came back. Wow. I did it plenty of times.

49:54 Thank you for telling me that.

49:55 I did that. I think I went to the bathroom more times in the woods than I did in the toilet on vacation.

50:01 My actual thing.

50:03 It was great and I loved it.

50:04 Nice.

50:05 Anyway, we're going to finish this up. I've also realized that I wasn't merely upset on behalf of my friend, but more on behalf of my own beliefs. The benefit of eschewing gender norms, such as what a certain gender is allowed to wear or not wear, is indirectly related to a bunch of other strongly held beliefs. I have, about equality and society at large. None of us are here to debate, as this is not a debate sub, but I know that having compatible beliefs is very important to me. Her comments about asexuality are admittedly not boding well for that. So I've texted Julia and said that I cannot promise her that I'll cut off all the I don't want to mislead her. I've asked to talk about it and how she feels about it. I need

50:50 to know more about her and her viewpoints to decide what I'll do next. So mature. She hasn't answered yet, but I'll make sure I give her three days as well, just to be fair. Maybe I'm the weirdo hippie and she's the normal one, but that would make us very different people, I fear. And that's the end.

51:06 Wow, so we don't even know.

51:08 We don't know.

51:09 Dude, people with asexuality, good for them. Big fan. I'm a big fan of anyone that is asexual because at some point in their life, they're going to split in two and that's how they multiply. That's crazy. And the fact that you could do that, you were so talented, and I'm so proud of you.

51:26 And that's the end of this story. We're good to go. On to the next one.

51:29 My boyfriend is sleeping with his eyes open and he's watching me.

51:33 That's the creepiest thing I've ever heard in my life.

51:36 I started having sleeping problems a few months ago. What started as sudden, frequent nightmares and egregious sweating turned into waking up in the middle of the night. My boyfriend and I have been together for a little under a year now and I have known him for over two years. Ever since we started to get more serious, I've constantly been spending the whole weekend at his house, spending the night and all that. My boyfriend has always, to my knowledge, slept with his eyes open. They're not wide open. They're just slightly open.

52:08 Yeah.

52:09 But it's enough that I can see his dark pupils slightly when he sleeps. This has never been a problem. In fact, I have taken many pictures of him as a joke, and his family has also expressed that they are aware of this weird quirk of his. My sleeping problems are not as fun and only started up a few months ago. When I sleep at my house during the week, I don't have problems or nightmares. When I sleep at his house, my issues return.

52:36 Maybe it's just you, OP.

52:38 That or there's a spiritual being around that area.

52:43 Oh. It's true.

52:44 Mm.

52:46 What do you guys think? Or do you think he's watching you while you sleep and you can feel that and it makes you unsettled? Thus, trust your gut, girl.

52:52 Maybe he's been awake this whole time. Maybe he doesn't sleep.

52:55 Many weeks ago, we were watching a movie and my boyfriend fell asleep on the couch. I was beginning to doze off too when my phone rang. It was one of my crew members who I oversee as their manager explaining they had locked their car keys in the building and needed me to come to the location to open the building back up.

53:11 I got ready to leave.

53:12 And was headed towards the front door to grab my keys off the hook when I accidentally dropped them on the hardwood floor. This caused a big crash, and I immediately looked to my boyfriend to make sure I hadn't Woken him up. He was still asleep with his eyes slightly open. That's why I went ahead and left. By the way, this comes from MeanNose26. If you want to send me your own stories, go to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit. I'm Riley.

53:36 I'm Savannah.

53:37 I'm Keon.

53:38 And we're going to read the story goofily. Let us know if you sleep with your eyes open or closed. Comment down below. Opie says, The next morning, he asked me what happened with my employee. I was very confused because he was asleep during that entire phone call. So asleep that the sound of the keys crashing to the floor didn't wake him up. He seemed confused himself and said that he must have heard the conversation in his sleep and remembered it.

54:02 See, that's what I do.

54:04 I asked him if he remembered seeing me get up and leave, to which he answered no. He said he didn't remember seeing anything, in fact. He just sort of knew what had happened. We both thought it was strange, but let it go. The brain does weird things. Unfortunately, this kept happening.

54:21 Hmm. Okay, well now I'm being a little bit weary. It's one thing to make it happen once, but like a regular occurrence. I'd be like, are you just not sleeping?

54:29 Guys, he's just like, there's like sleepwalking. Maybe he's just sleep listening.

54:33 Sleep listening.

54:34 It's true. How many women would love their boyfriends.

54:38 To have that? Oh my gosh, I'd be whispering in your ear the whole night.

54:42 You know, sometimes people do that, that they'll play like videos in a different language and it helps them learn. My buddy does that and he did it for Russian and he's like, yeah, it actually helped me understand it more.

54:52 Well, it went from him remembering things that he had heard. such as phone calls or hearing me rummaging through the fridge on nights that I couldn't go to sleep, to remembering things that he saw me doing, such as silently pacing in the room when I couldn't get back to sleep, or me texting my mom late at night. He even knew what I had texted her, like he was looking over my shoulder. This started to freak me out, and it also frustrated me that those moments were no longer private to me. I'm not sure if anyone else here has trouble sleeping, but desperate moments when you're awake and trying anything and everything to go back to sleep are not the most dignified moments. Anyways, I expressed this to

55:32 him and he understood how I felt. We decided to try an eye mask, but that unfortunately did not work because he kept taking it off in the middle of the night. I never actually saw him take it off, but on nights that I woke up, I would see it either crumpled on the floor or placed neatly on his nightstand. We decided that I should schedule a sleep study to see if I had sleep apnea. While waiting for the scheduled day, something even stranger happened. I'd woken up from a nightmare, as per usual, and decided to change my pajamas into something less warm to hopefully stop my sweating, as being hot sometimes make my nightmares worse.

56:09 As I got up from the bed, I looked at my boyfriend. He was deeply asleep, and his pupils were pointed directly at me. I thought nothing of it and went over to the dresser to change. After I was done changing, I turned around and he was still looking directly at me. However, my side of the bed and the dresser are on the opposite sides of the room.

56:31 His pupils had followed me. I walked back to my side of the bed and they followed me then. To this day, I still can't really describe why, but this scared me deeply. That night, I slept on the couch.

56:43 That's insanely creepy, but I still think.

56:46 That's not sleeping now at this point. I don't think that's sleep. Your eyes do not. If you're in like REM, whatever, or NRM, like, I mean, you're not, your, your eyes are not tracking stuff while you're going to bed.

57:01 Oh, dude. I, I, I have an idea of what I think this is.

57:04 Hmm.

57:05 So he must like wake up.

57:06 What? No, I'm listening.

57:08 No, I'm just saying he, he just must wake up.

57:10 That was the end of my period. Uh, Three questions I would ask him. Number one, whenever you wake up in the morning, do you feel relaxed?

57:18 Do you feel like you were well rested? Yeah.

57:21 Number two, do you feel like your energy is drained whenever you're up in the morning, like something's been draining your energy? And number three, do you feel like your subconscious is keeping you awake because of something you have threats of or that something may be controlling you on the inside? Because to be honest, I think this guy has a demon in him. I think he has a demon in him and that's why OP can't sleep because there's something bothering her in the night and that's why she's sweating so much.

57:47 Hmm.

57:48 Because the only reason she has nightmares or sweating so much is because she's at his house.

57:54 I was going to say, does he do any of this when he's over at her house?

57:57 Yeah. And usually whenever people have like demons in them or something like that, or like something's draining their energy, it's because of a demon. And that's what's giving them the nightmares.

58:07 That's my take.

58:08 You on my side?

58:09 As someone who's experienced this in a sense with my girlfriend, you never know. I'm not ruling it out.

58:16 It's a crazy theory, buddy. I'm kind of into it as well.

58:19 Because here's my other thing. I think there's something beyond the physical realm that is messing with her. My other thoughts are, are there mold in the house? What's the thing, the monoxide?

58:31 Carbon monoxide.

58:32 Carbon monoxide poisoning. Is there something happening there?

58:34 Yeah, but that wouldn't explain his eyes falling.

58:36 Is this like a paranormal activity kind of thing where maybe you should get a camera and put it in the room? Or maybe you should film him when he's doing it and be like, maybe you should start asking him questions.

58:44 Yeah.

58:45 No, I wouldn't.

58:46 Okay.

58:46 So over the next couple of weeks, we got into minor arguments about it. I told him that I was starting to distrust him when I told him he was asleep in these moments. He feels like his eyes could just be moving on his own and it's not as creepy as I'm seeing it to be, but I couldn't shake the distrust that was starting to form. Trust your gut. Yes. Additionally, the sleep study happened and no signs of sleep apnea or any sleep disturbances were recording during my appointment. Upon hearing this news, my boyfriend decided to check his place for gas leaks, check for wind coming through the gaps in the window panes, buy a humidifier for his room, and even change our pillows to accommodate my sleeping posture. Unfortunately,

59:34 my problems still persisted.

59:36 Girl, I think.

59:37 Okay, that's a demon!

59:40 It is!

59:41 He did, she did all the physical things.

59:43 It's a paranormal activity, yeah. She's trying to take, like, she's taking, like, melatonin. She's doing all the things to sleep. I think you stop sleeping there. How about your boyfriend sleeps at your place?

59:53 I always say the name of Christ in this house. Recently, I had woken up again in the middle of the night from coughing. As I sat up to catch my breath, I saw that my boyfriend was facing away from me and slightly snoring. After a few moments of taking deep breaths and checking my phone, I prepare myself to lay back down when I notice that he was looking at me again.

1:00:12 This is a demon. He's a demon. This is a scary movie. That's crazy. I'm just imagining that. That's a good horror film.

1:00:20 Do you think he's just doing a fun prank?

1:00:22 Fun little bit for years.

1:00:25 However, his body had not turned at all. His head had turned as far as it could without turning once. or moving his torso, and he was looking at me over his shoulder. I freaked out and began to cry. When he didn't react, I shoved him. This woke him up, and we got into a huge argument. I cried and told him that I didn't believe that he was asleep, and I begged him to stop looking at me. He yelled at me for waking him up in that manner and said that he thinks I'm hallucinating from sleep deprivation.

1:00:55 He did not believe me that he was looking over his shoulder. And he believed I imagined it.

1:01:02 Oh.

1:01:02 This is the part where, guy, you got to take responsibility and go see a professional about your sleeping.

1:01:08 Well, here's what is what is watching her?

1:01:10 Why does this thing need to watch her?

1:01:11 Because he truly I feel like I get his side where he's like, I have no idea what you're talking about.

1:01:16 Yeah, I get that. But he shouldn't call her. Oh, you're making this up.

1:01:20 Oh, blah, blah, blah. If someone is getting.

1:01:22 To the point where they do not feel safe being next to you while sleeping. Why are they making that up? That is the person that they want to be with. So there's something happening within him.

1:01:34 I say get a camera.

1:01:35 Get a camera so then you have physical proof.

1:01:37 That's what I'm saying. You need the paranormal activity, this crap. Because he's really on that hill. And OP's on that hill. And I'm not saying I don't believe OP. But I believe that he truly believes he's not doing that.

1:01:49 We argued for so long that I decided to call a friend and sleep at their place that night. The next morning, I told him I wanted to take a break from our relationship. Since then, I've talked to a few of my friends and family. and they all have been very puzzled by the situation. Few people feel that I am being unfair and punishing him for something he can't control, while others feel... that I should leave him if I truly feel unsafe. I'm on the side of the people that feel unsafe, but I also think it's his responsibility to try to problem solve this with you.

1:02:18 I know that he sleeps with his eyes open all the time. You got to want to... I get sleep with your eyes open. I don't get moving your head while asleep.

1:02:27 Yes, like being like.

1:02:29 And the person that did the test was OP with her sleep apnea, not the boyfriend.

1:02:34 Again, but the craziest thing is he's not having any sleep problems. It's only OP. But OP cannot figure this out.

1:02:41 Yeah.

1:02:41 Did she sleep okay at her friend's place? There's something going on in this with... Because if he's not doing it at her place, if he goes to her place, there is something that's being unexplained. He cannot explain it. I don't think he's doing this on purpose. There's no way he's doing this on purpose.

1:02:54 There's no way.

1:02:54 Yeah. Well, if your gut intuition, you can't be... rested in a house or a place while sleeping. That means something there has a disturbance or something is not. Are you sleeping better on the couch? Do you sleep a little better on the couch than you do in the bed? These are questions I'd be asking yourself.

1:03:11 But truly, again, if my partner was like having so many issues sleeping at my place, then let's switch it back up. Let's go to your place. Stop sleeping at my place because obviously nothing is working. Why do we keep going back to the place that makes you can't sleep?

1:03:22 Yep. I have agreed to try another sleep study as suggested by my mom. But the most of the people I have talked to have said, that they're unsure if I'm seeing things or if he's really watching me. Do not trust the people that say you're seeing things because this has happened so many times. My boyfriend has always been a very calm and compassionate guy and he has told me that he doesn't want this to come in between us because he feels like I am the one.

1:03:45 He's very upset about how things have gone and talks with my loved ones have made me reconsider my actions regarding our relationship. Am I overreacting? Keon, please. Is there an update?

1:03:56 I'm checking right now. I'm checking the comments and all this stuff.

1:03:59 Is there an update? He needs to do a study. Even if it comes back normal, they need to consider other options. I 100% agree with you on that.

1:04:06 I think you need to film it. Because he doesn't believe it. He doesn't believe it. And you're on this hill. He's on this hill. And I think you're both right. And he's not doing anything malicious. If he was doing it on purpose, it's crazy.

1:04:19 So creepy.

1:04:20 There is no update. This is from 13 days ago.

1:04:23 13 days. Oh, it's really weird. Cause like, I understand being like heavy sleepers, light sleepers, whatever, having sleep problems. That's another thing. But the fact that you're like looking around the room when you are. quote unquote, a sleep, that's not a normal thing.

1:04:40 Yeah, that's weird.

1:04:42 And I don't know. I don't know who diagnoses that or what even the diagnosis would be. But it's just creepy. It's so creepy.

1:04:51 Yeah, the eye tracking is really creepy.

1:04:53 But and you got to trust your gut. Everyone trust your gut.

1:04:56 And that's the end of this story. We're going to go on to the next one.

1:05:00 Hey, it's Carly, your favorite axolotl host here. We're going to get back to the stories, but here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

1:05:09 My boyfriend kept on defending his sister no matter what she does.

1:05:13 She's perfect.

1:05:14 I'm 38 male and my boyfriend is 31 male. We've been dating for almost four years and things have been great. He's been and still is an amazing partner. I truly have no complaints in the way he treats me, except when it comes to his sister, who is 19. He and his sister ended up getting an apartment together so he could teach her about responsibility.

1:05:34 Yes, and learning that from a sibling is the best way to do it.

1:05:37 It's true.

1:05:38 She's had everything handed to her, and she's keen on growing up fast. After they moved in together, he got her a job at his workplace, working part-time. She then went and got a second job working at a diner. She was pulling in okay money, but she still wanted more. It started getting hard for her to get to work because she didn't have a car, so I thought, I have two cars. You can use one of mine if you're able to make the payments on it. I told her the car is almost paid off, so once it is, then it's hers to keep.

1:06:05 Oh, no, no, no, no. You just gave her a car? All she heard was, Free car.

1:06:13 It's your car.

1:06:13 Free car. She heard. Free car. And she went, free car?

1:06:18 You're like making payments on it.

1:06:20 Why would you want to give her? Yeah, no. I'm thinking it's probably.

1:06:23 A $ 10, 000 car. You've made $ 8, 000 worth of payments on it. Now you're giving it away?

1:06:27 Yeah. What?

1:06:29 It's a Honda Accord.

1:06:31 She agreed and was super excited for the car. I only gave her three rules for having it, since it's still in my name. First, no smoking in the car. Second, drive safely. And third, just keep up with the maintenance. Once it's fully hers, she can do whatever, and she agreed to this.

1:06:48 Ah.

1:06:50 I don't know. Two of those sound really hard to do.

1:06:52 Yeah, I don't know about that. A month after she got the car, she was caught by a speed camera doing 40 in a 25. By the way, this comes from AdorableMolasses256. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit.

1:07:06 I'm Sophia.

1:07:07 I'm Riley.

1:07:08 I'm Keon.

1:07:08 And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we don't have all the answers. We only got what we got. So don't get upset. OP says, I got the ticket in the mail since it's registered to me and I gave her the ticket, which was $ 100. She then started stressing about it because she had just given me the payment for the car and was saying she doesn't have money.

1:07:26 So she's going to have to try and figure it out and get the money. Being the person I am, I felt extremely bad because I know how it feels to be hit with bill after bill. So I told her, don't worry about it this time. I'll try to take care of it. But next time I won't be able to cover you.

1:07:40 And she said, okay.

1:07:41 Hmm.

1:07:42 No.

1:07:42 When she disobeys your rules, you take the car away.

1:07:46 Yeah.

1:07:47 And also, if you're trying to be a good partner to, I don't know, your partner, and they have an apartment where they're teaching their sister responsibility.

1:07:54 Yeah.

1:07:54 Shouldn't you be doing that on this side?

1:07:56 Consequences.

1:07:57 You could have been like, pay me in small sums. Just pay me back. It's a hundo. Just pay me back 20. That's five months.

1:08:02 I think you go, hey, you know. Unfortunately, I'm going to take the car back. If you pay that off and show me that, you know, you can be responsible, like maybe we'll talk about you getting the car back. But like until you do or even you pay it off, you say you can't have the car until you pay.

1:08:18 It's a consequence of their own actions. Yeah, you should. Yeah.

1:08:21 Yeah.

1:08:21 When I got my speeding ticket, my parents are like, pay that off.

1:08:25 Yeah.

1:08:25 Okay. Okay.

1:08:26 Okay, fast forward.

1:08:27 I wasn't able to pay the bill in time because I have bills of my own. And it was also difficult for me to balance all of my bills and take care of everything I have going on financially. A month later, she got another job working in a club where she was bringing home crazy money. One night, she came home with $ 500 for one night. For that whole week, she ended up with close.

1:08:47 To $ 2, 000.

1:08:47 What club is she working at? And this was from the club alone. A month after that, they re-sent the ticket in the mail, and because it hadn't been paid yet, it was now raised to $ 120.

1:08:59 Where do you live? I need to know where you live.

1:09:01 This is so reasonable. $ 120?

1:09:04 It raised $ 20?

1:09:05 Here, if you didn't pay a ticket, it would double.

1:09:07 It's another $ 100. It would go from $ 70 to $ 140.

1:09:11 Because I still didn't have the money, I figured, why not ask her if she can help with the bill?

1:09:15 Help? OP, it's her bill.

1:09:17 After all, she had just spent $ 400 on boots and $ 600 on outfits for the club, and this was after she said the boots were only $ 400. I asked her, and I even said that because the bill was raised, I would give her half. I just didn't have the full amount. She responded with, okay, but then went to her brother and complained to him about me.

1:09:35 Saying, he said he would take care of it. I shouldn't have to worry about the bill.

1:09:41 Opie, I know it's stupid, but you did say that.

1:09:44 She shouldn't be complaining. You're helping her.

1:09:46 Yeah, like you are helping her. At least she should.

1:09:49 It should be like she pays for the bill. And then you say, you know what? Like I will pay you back because I did promise. This, of course, sparked an argument between me and him.

1:09:57 A little bit, yeah. Yeah, I agree with that.

1:10:15 You know, I see your guys' side. Eventually, she just gave him the money for it and he put it on his car to pay it. After that, I started getting tickets in the mail because she was driving over the easy pass bridge and not paying the toll. Dude, take the car away. Also, if OP does not have $ 100 to be able to spend.

1:10:35 Right.

1:10:35 And he has two cars. We could sell one of those cars.

1:10:41 That's a great point.

1:10:42 It looks like she has enough money to start saving for a car.

1:10:46 Yeah, yeah, the 19-year-old.

1:10:47 Yeah.

1:10:48 Each ticket was coming out to $ 31 because of the fees. There was a total of five tickets she had. He then asked me, can you just pay the tickets on your end by disputing them from your account so it's not the full $ 31 and it'll only be $ 6 per ticket to avoid the fees? I then told him, no, after the last incident, I'm not offering to pay any more of her tickets. If she doesn't have an easy pass, then she needs to get into the cash lane. He then said, yeah, well, she's not going to do that because sometimes the cash lane can get long.

1:11:16 Then wait your turn. Yeah, that's a stupid.

1:11:20 Excuse me.

1:11:20 She's not going to do that because traffic.

1:11:22 Get your own E-ZPass.

1:11:22 Then pay for the E-ZPass.

1:11:23 Yeah, then pay for the free E-ZPass. I told them, that doesn't matter.

1:11:27 Her going into the E-ZPass lane with no E-ZPass is causing tickets to be sent to the house, which means she needs to pay them.

1:11:34 It's that simple.

1:11:34 Yeah, if your boyfriend keeps saying, oh, just pay off the tickets, you'd be like, you know what? She can pay off her own car.

1:11:40 Yeah.

1:11:40 I'm doing her a favor.

1:11:41 I'm taking my car back.

1:11:42 I'm taking my car back.

1:11:42 She no longer gets this car.

1:11:44 Or she can buy it from me.

1:11:45 Yeah.

1:11:45 And also with the added on incentive of paying for those tickets.

1:11:48 Yeah.

1:11:48 You say, okay, well, you know what? I don't really want to be on the hook for all these tickets. So she needs to pay off the rest of the car now and I'll sign it over to her.

1:11:58 We have more of this story.

1:11:59 This argument went on for at least an hour because he didn't want his sister to have to face the consequences of her actions. Why is she with you then? And was trying to find an out for her. I told him to let her deal with the consequences, especially because she complains every time she gets a ticket and says, I.

1:12:16 Don't know why they keep sending them.

1:12:18 Because you did a bad. You did a no-no.

1:12:22 Girl, you have an easy way to get around these and you have to make one special connection at the club and you probably don't have to worry about tickets anymore.

1:12:28 It's true.

1:12:29 He then told me, fine, I'll have her send me the money and I'll put my E-ZPass in her car and register it under my account so they can take the money out of there instead of yours. I just thought, why wasn't that the first option instead of trying to get me to pay it with my E-ZPass funds? I just looked at them and said, from here on out, her and her problems are no longer my concern. If she gets another ticket, that's something she's going to have to figure out, especially because after the first time you told me not to offer to pay any tickets. So why is this time any different? And OP asks, am I the a-hole?

1:13:02 You are the a-hole for asking for money after you said you'd cover it.

1:13:05 Yes.

1:13:05 You are not the a-hole for the easy passing.

1:13:08 Agreed. Agreed, agreed, agreed.

1:13:09 You're the a-hole for letting her keep the car after not taking her. Yes, take that car back. She can take the car back.

1:13:15 Low key might be the a-hole for staying with your partner if you guys are looking to have a family.

1:13:19 Yeah.

1:13:20 Because he's displaying how he would interact with his children.

1:13:24 That's true. That's a good point.

1:13:26 Yeah.

1:13:26 Very good point. Yeah.

1:13:28 And that's the end of this story.