My sister-in-law insulted my parenting... so I called her out in front of everyone! -r/AmITheAsshole | Reddit Stories | EP3101

0:00 Hey, this is Dakota.

0:01 And this is Carly, your favorite OK Storytime host, and we've got some great stories coming up.

0:06 But before that, we have a quick two-minute break from the sponsors that keep the show alive. My sister-in-law insulted my parenting, so I shut her down in front of everyone.

0:16 Hey!

0:17 Shut up. I, 35, female, have three children, 10 male, 8 female, and 5 male, with my husband, who's 36. My younger brother, 29 male, is marrying Taya, 27 female, in May.

0:30 They've been dating for a few years.

0:31 While we've never been close, we get along okay, although I've never loved how she often oversteps with my kids. For example, giving them dessert before dinner when my husband and I have said no, joking about how stuffy we are as parents, and constantly referring to herself as the cool aunt.

0:46 Something important to note is.

0:48 That she works in fashion, which her parents often judge, comparing her to her siblings, who have jobs that are considered much more successful in our community. So she has a bit of a complex about it. Last night, we were all having dinner at my parents' place. The topic turned to my kids, school, and extracurriculars. My older son plays soccer, does piano, and does karate. My daughter does classical dance, art classes, and swimming. And my younger son does classical singing and basketball. They all have extra math classes once a week. By the way, this comes from a deleted user. If you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash ok story time subreddit.

1:21 I'm Dakota.

1:22 I'm Savannah.

1:23 I'm Keon.

1:24 And we're all here to read this story. Give our little goofball advice about it. But just know we're not therapists and everyone should have one. So keep that in mind. And let us know what you think down in the comments, you little goobers. OP says, For context, I regretted my parents not putting me in any activities when I was younger and don't want my kids to feel the same way.

1:44 My husband thinks it'll teach them time management, and hopefully some of these hobbies stick.

1:48 Right now they enjoy everything, but this could change.

1:51 It's going to boost their college applications as well when the time comes.

1:54 And obviously we expect them to excel in school.

1:57 All three can do well in their classes without effort, but we don't want them to coast by and burn out like we did. So we're firm on them actually studying and doing homework and blah blah blah blah.

2:07 So anyway.

2:07 My daughter is talking about which classes she has, which day, and Paya says something like, wow, I can't believe you keep them so busy.

2:15 They're just kids. My husband is like, yeah, it's important to be well-rounded.

2:21 I don't know why that's really funny to me. He's like, yeah, we're well-rounded. We keep the kids in line.

2:26 Yeah, it's like they do stuff. I liked doing stuff when I was a kid.

2:30 I like doing stuff.

2:31 I do stuff. You should try it.

2:32 I like doing stuff.

2:33 Then later, my son is talking about how much he studied for a math test.

2:37 And Paya goes, it can't have been that important, though. You're 10.

2:40 You should tell your parents to let you relax. At this point, I get a little pissed. So I'm like, we want them to build good habits so that they can actually be successful in the future. When you have kids, if you want to raise them to fail, that's up to you. At this point, she got really upset and.

2:55 Left the room.

2:56 I guess she thought I was implying that she was a failure, which was not my intention. My brother was pretty mad and thought I was being unnecessarily harsh and that I should have known how sensitive.

3:04 She is about this topic.

3:05 Okay, well, to be fair, I immediately understood you're talking about what she's saying to your kid, not her. You're like, you're telling our kid, like, you're planting the seed of like, oh, they push you too hard.

3:16 Take it easy. You shouldn't have to do all this. Shut up. My kid's going to be president astronaut. Don't teach him to fail.

3:23 My parents agreed, saying that I didn't need to take what she said so seriously. My husband disagrees and says that she didn't have any place to tell us how to raise our kids. And maybe this will stop her from constantly giving us her two cents on something she doesn't have any experience with.

3:37 I don't know.

3:37 I feel bad for upsetting her because I never meant to insult her profession with my comment. But at the same time, I do kind of feel like she had it coming for her constant criticisms of our parenting.

3:46 Am I the a-hole? And there's an edit. I say no.

3:50 Yeah, for sticking up for, you know, your kids.

3:52 She kind of seems like, you know, there's a T out there that's called constant comment.

3:58 And it seems like that's what she is.

4:00 What do you, she's like, she's just, she's always got something to say.

4:03 She always has, yeah.

4:04 Like, she seems, especially about the kids. Like, they're like, oh, we want them to succeed in life. And she's like, I think they should have more fun. And it's like, they are having fun with the things that they're doing. It's not like I'm forcing them to do these things. They like the karate. They like this. They like that, you know?

4:19 Yeah, like, don't, she's leaning so heavy into being the cool aunt that, like, you're slipping on the slope.

4:25 She's like, how old are you? Double digits? I have adult beverages for you.

4:29 Exactly. Like, that's how, it's like, oh, yeah, how did your problem start?

4:33 Well, my aunt gave me a drink at 13 because she thought she was being cool.

4:39 How old are you kids?

4:40 10?

4:40 Ever played hooky?

4:42 Yeah.

4:42 It's like, what are we doing? Come on. There's an edit.

4:45 Since a lot of people are assuming that I was talking about not putting kids in extracurriculars when I said raising kids to fail, I wasn't. Since Paya was talking about my son studying for his test and how she thought that was unnecessary, that is what I was talking about, as I believe it's.

4:57 Important for kids to study.

4:59 I do not think that kids who don't do extracurriculars are bound to fail or that my kids would somehow be failures if they don't do these activities. I just think that it is one good way to set them up for success. Some more context with some things I added in the comments. I have never forced my kids to continue their extracurriculars, and they know that if they ever feel like they want to stop, they can tell me.

5:19 God, the internet's so exhausting sometimes.

5:23 Your kids have very full lives with enriching activities and experiences, and people on the internet are being like, how dare you do that to your kids?

5:35 They don't have to do that stuff. It's like, oh my God.

5:37 If the kids were miserable and crying and hated doing all these things, that's a different story. But it seems like they actually enjoy these things. Like, you know, you try things with your kids, some they'll enjoy, some they won't. And you figure out which ones work, which ones don't. And that's how it, and sometimes nothing works out. And sometimes all of it works out.

5:56 As long as the kids aren't, they don't look like they hate themselves or like, oh my gosh, it's like, Piano, then football, then karate, then this, then that, then like learning another language. And you're like, do they have fun? Like, sure, that's fun. But do they have fun? Then that makes sense. But it seems like your kids are fine.

6:15 Yeah.

6:16 I have told them this many times and they are tired of me asking if they want to quit when they don't. My kids chose their extracurriculars and have lots of friends there. They have told me multiple times how happy they are to be doing them, always have stories about something fun they did in their classes, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

6:32 I tell my kids to excel in school because that is what they are doing right now, and I know they're capable of it in the future as long as they develop good study skills and work ethic, which I hope that I am providing them with the tools they need to do. If they were ever not doing well despite trying, I would never... punish them for that, and they know that would be an instance where we could have an open conversation. Edit three, my kids' schedule since people, I guess, have been asking. They wake up at eight, school starts at nine, and it's five minutes away from my house. They shower, eat breakfast, and I drop them off at school. They come home around 3.30. They play outside with their friends until about a half hour before

7:10 their activity for the day when we get ready, including eating a small stack like a fruit or sandwich if they were more hungry when they got home from school.

7:18 Maybe I'll give them rice or something. And then we go.

7:20 The kids also have granola bars and things in their activity bags, and they're allowed to eat in most of their classes, like during a break or something. The activities usually start around 5 or 5.15, but some of them start a little later.

7:31 You're doxing your own kids at this point. This is crazy.

7:33 I think OP's just like, I'm telling you my day, my day-to-day. I'm going to tell you how I parent. I'm not going to tell you how to parent.

7:40 It's just the.

7:42 Fact that they have so much to say when they aren't even parents.

7:44 I don't know.

7:45 Their activities typically end at 6 or 6.45. The latest they are ever home is by 7, but that's only on Thursdays, and usually they're home sooner, like 6.15 or 6.30. From then to 7.30 is their time to freshen up and get ready for dinner, which is 7.30 to 8. At dinner, we watch something that they want as a family, like an episode of a show they like or something like that. And then from 8 to 9, they do homework.

8:06 This isn't an everyday thing if they don't have homework.

8:08 It's more free time.

8:09 My older son likes to do extra homework and is a bit of a perfectionist, so he usually likes to use up that time. I've told him multiple times he doesn't have to. The younger two rarely have much to do, especially my younger son, who never has homework, just a monthly choice board with some fun activities. So they'll usually just sit with their brother, goof around, talk, whatever, sometimes bother him a bit.

8:28 Nah. They're kids.

8:30 Sometimes I will let them watch TV or something, especially my daughter who's older. Or sometimes if they didn't have too hectic of a day, I'll ask them to help out with some chores.

8:38 Yes, they have an allowance. Or they will be doing music practice or something like that.

8:43 Until around 9.15, they'll just be all together, and then they brush their teeth and go to bed at 9.30. On the weekends, sometimes there are games or recitals in the morning. If not, then they spend that time practicing. Then on Saturdays, they have afternoon classes until about 4. After 4, we usually set them loose and they play outside, getting their unstructured playtime, or we have playdates set up.

9:02 This is until about 8, when we spend some time together eating dinner and stuff as a family. Sometimes we'll have movie night or game night, and this is until around 10 or 10.30 when they will go to bed.

9:11 If it's Saturday, if it's a Sunday, it's 9.30. Or we might have a dinner party.

9:15 In that case, we will probably be out a little longer, around 12 or 1, but the kids usually end up falling asleep there.

9:20 Also, Sunday is mostly their day.

9:22 We have an informal rule where we don't really tell them what to do unless they have a makeup class, which is pretty uncommon, or some kind of family event, which is usually in the evening. So no matter what, they get the morning and afternoon to themselves.

9:35 Okay, Opie.

9:37 Getting it i'm getting it okay honestly this sounds like like my schedule when i was like younger but the thing is i was i don't know i.

9:44 Turned out well there's nothing wrong with this schedule there's there's literally like we let them just go play around outside.

9:51 Exactly yeah yeah i had time to go play and i and then i also had time to go you know do my homework or study or go see my friends or, you know, practice music or sports or whatever.

10:05 You know, I had free time to do things that I wanted to do.

10:08 Honestly, my life growing up, it was just like sports, sports, sports. Oh, there's a birthday party sports. Oh, there's like sleepover sports.

10:15 Yeah.

10:15 So my mom, like I had that conversation with my parents and, as like a teen, like preteen. I was like, can I do kid stuff?

10:21 Aw.

10:22 You're like, I'm kind of done.

10:24 Don't get me wrong, I like sports, but can I do fun stuff too?

10:27 Yeah.

10:28 Yeah, and OP's like made it so clear, like I'm constantly chatting with my kids.

10:32 Belton's like, Bro, we didn't need the entire schedule for the year.

10:36 I'm dying. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, I was like, okay, okay.

10:38 You gotta understand.

10:38 I bet you if you look in the comments, all these people who also probably don't have kids, just like Paya, are piping up being like, you're exploiting your cheer, asking too much of them, and you're stressing your kid.

10:50 And she's like, you guys have no clue. Let me fill you in. Since you're all so worried about the kids.

10:59 I don't think we needed all the ins and outs, the schedule, but We get it, Opie. I think you're a good parent.

11:06 Yeah. I don't see any red flags here.

11:11 No malicious intent.

11:12 It's just a schedule. That's just what the schedule is. And the kids like it. They enjoy it.

11:17 Yes, I'm skipping to the end of this edit.

11:19 Say schedule, but in British.

11:21 Schedule.

11:21 Yes, thank you.

11:22 This may seem a bit hectic, but it is what works for us, and we never have had any issues with it. And another edit, I will be having an honest conversation with my kids tomorrow about whether they enjoy their activities, and to reiterate that I would not consider them a failure if they ever wanted to quit, which is just what people have been saying they might think.

11:39 I don't know how it'll go, but I will keep you all updated. There's an update.

11:42 After reading what everyone had to say throughout yesterday and today, I texted Paya today.

11:46 Oh, yeah, Paya. I forgot about her. That was the whole reason. That's the whole story. That's right.

11:51 And we agreed to meet at my brother's to talk since I wanted to apologize. I started off by saying that I was sorry for what I said and that I hurt her feelings and made her feel bad about her profession, even though it was unintentional.

12:01 I could have handled the disagreement differently.

12:03 I also apologized for possibly communicating that I thought her future kids might fail if she doesn't parent them the way that I do. She said she didn't take it that way, but was more upset that she thought I was calling her a failure. I reassured her I was not and do not see her that way. She ended up accepting my apology and we talked about some other things, including why I lashed out. I told her that I really appreciate her being a caring aunt to the kids, but I was genuinely confused why. She always seemed to think that whatever we were doing was wrong, and it led to me stamping. She was hesitant to talk about it at first, but ended up revealing more about her childhood and how it affects the way she sees our kids,

12:39 the only kids she really has any type of regular contact with. According to her, her parents were strict in some ways, like eating habits and gender roles and grades, and she sometimes projects this experience on my children, which explains some other comments she's made before.

12:52 And on the flip side, some of.

12:54 The other more chill things she does is a conscious sort of effort to intervene whenever she sees hints of her parents' parenting style in the way we interact with our kids. Despite her parents' strictness in some areas, they didn't really care about what their kids did out of school. and wouldn't sign them up for anything even if they asked.

13:10 She said that she felt horrible for thinking this way, but she felt jealous of how my kids got to explore so many different activities, which she never got to as a kid, especially seeing how happy they always are about them.

13:20 Basically, seeing my kids raised.

13:23 like she wished she was raised, just made her think of the what-ifs and brought back the bad memories of what life with her parents actually was like, and demeaning our parenting was an attempt to make us seem less perfect. She has told my brother about this, but begged him not to tell me, because she didn't want us to have a negative opinion of her. Apparently, she's been trying to find a therapist, but it's been tough finding someone who can help her, while also understanding things from a cultural perspective.

13:48 I'll admit, it threw me off a little since I wasn't expecting that.

13:51 But obviously it was difficult for her to admit, and she clearly wasn't proud of feeling that way. I told her I was really glad she opened up to me and that I could see her point of view, but that her trauma was not an excuse to try and parent my kids for me, and that I did not know how comfortable I would be letting her around my kids just for now, until she can get the help that she needs. I asked her to let me know if there's anything else I can do, because I do feel really bad for her after hearing all this, even though I'm a little disturbed at how fixated she is on my kids. I told her that she should try to remember that she has a cool job she loves and is marrying a man she loves and is away

14:26 from her parents' influence, which sounds pretty successful to me. Not that she needs me to tell her that, but she looked like she needed reassurance after the talk. She thanked me and said she would try her best to rein in the parenting talk and that she never saw how it bothered me since I usually would try to play it off, which I usually do to avoid tension. Yep, we are coming up on the end here.

14:44 Yeah.

14:46 I mean, at least she kind of recognizes it. But yeah, I guess it would be hard to find. I didn't even think of like finding a therapist who kind of knows like your cultural background because that would be really hard. I didn't even think of that because it's just like me being a white woman.

15:04 I don't know. I guess my background is Italian and I don't know.

15:07 As a Slavic woman.

15:09 As a Slavic woman. I don't understand.

15:11 As a Slavic woman from Ohio.

15:13 A Slavic woman, I don't get it. But I don't know. I feel like you just have to, like, obviously there are.

15:19 People out there and you can inquire about those people.

15:23 It just takes a little bit more research, you know?

15:26 Yeah.

15:27 I really don't like how she said that she would try her best to tone down the parenting talk.

15:33 It's like, no, no, no. It needs to cease. Yeah. So I agree.

15:37 Like, with that kind of reaction from her, it's like, You can't come around the kids until you figure out how to not do that ever. And if you can't guarantee that, good luck finding that therapist.

15:50 And then we can talk later about you being the cool aunt.

15:52 I don't know. Like, hey, maybe you should... One, get therapy. But two, it sounds like you missed out on that stuff. Go do those things that, you know, that you're like, that sounds fun. You want to do that? You can do that with your kids maybe in the future. I don't know what it is, but it seems like you're still chasing whatever that is.

16:09 Yeah, you can do stuff.

16:10 You're an adult. I mean, yes, you can't be a child anymore, but you can go do things that you enjoy.

16:17 All in all, I think that went as well as it could have.

16:20 I do wish we didn't have to go low contact, but after talking with my husband, we've decided that right now that's what's best for our kids, to protect them from being confused and used as parts of their aunt's trauma. We hope that once she's talked with a professional and gotten some real counseling about her past, my kids will be able to build a healthier relationship with her. On a slightly related note, we will be having a family meeting later tonight with my kids once they get back from playing outside to discuss the incident and examine their schedules.

16:46 The conflict with future sister-in-law is somewhat resolved for now, and that is the end of that story.

16:52 My brother uninvited our little brother from his wedding, so I quit planning it.

16:57 Yeah, my plan was to have him here, so it's not my wedding to plan anymore. I.

17:01 29, female, have been working as a wedding planner for about six years now. Last year, my brother Bobby, 29 male, asked me to plan his wedding for him. And as his sister, I was happy to do so for free. Everything was going pretty well until maybe a week and a half before the wedding, when Bobby told me to remove our little brother, Jay, 24 male, from the guest list.

17:24 I tried asking him why, but the only answer he would give me is that Jay was.

17:28 Being stubborn and selfish. Of course.

17:31 Of course I had to ask Jay about this. Apparently, Bobby showed up at his apartment and offered to.

17:36 Let Jay attend the wedding as long as he doesn't act so Jay with a G.

17:41 Jay with a G, of course, took offense to that and told Bobby to F off, probably leading him to calling me and uninviting him. Bobby has always been harsh to Jay. He's the type of manly man that despises anything feminine. So when Jay came out to us, Bobby's bullying got worse and worse, leading to there being a pretty big rift between them. I've been trying to get the two of them to work out their differences, but Bobby won't even try and hear out what Jay has to say to him. I decided that uninviting Jay to the wedding was the last straw, and that I'm not going to keep helping Bobby if he's going to continue to act like an a-hole to our.

18:15 Own little brother.

18:16 By the way, this comes from AutomaticBar2136, and if you want to spend your own stories, go to the rs-ok-storytime subreddit.

18:24 I'm Savannah.

18:24 I'm Dakota.

18:25 I'm Keon.

18:26 And we're here to talk about.

18:27 Some stuff, give some advice, but we don't have all of your answers. We're only going to tell you what we would do, but let us know what you would do down in the comments. As OP says, So, I sent Bobby all the info for everything I planned at that point. The contacts for the venue, the catering, decorations, everything.

18:44 Then I told him that if he's going to keep treating Jay like crap, then he should plan his own wedding because I'm not going to. Bobby told everyone that I bailed on him last second and that the wedding would have to be postponed because of me. As you'd expect, people were mad. Relatives were bombarding me about how important this would be for Bobby and how I'm ruining an important milestone in his and his girlfriend's life.

19:05 And then you tell them why.

19:06 Yeah, we explain what's going on with Jay.

19:09 When I tried to explain myself, I got people telling me that I shouldn't have done something so drastic over a petty squabble between brothers.

19:17 This is not petty.

19:18 That's what I was going to say.

19:19 Also, the context of him being a bully their entire life.

19:23 These people don't know.

19:24 Sets the stage a little bit, huh?

19:26 No, I'm going to say these people don't know the full story, obviously. Because if you did, you would literally be in OP's, you would be on OP's side.

19:35 Because this is just, it's rubbish.

19:38 Yes, rubbish.

19:40 Am I the a-hole?

19:41 No.

19:42 Why are you the a-hole for sticking up for your younger brother because your older brother is.

19:46 Being a bigot?

19:47 No.

19:47 Yeah, I mean, he could. be, you know, you did it. You're doing it for free. Maybe you should have just been like, you know what? I take that back. You know, I quit right now unless you pay me X amount of dollars.

20:00 It's the same thing. I guess that actually does make you look a little worse. Now that I think about it.

20:04 I don't know. There's an update.

20:06 It's been about five days since Bobby told our family I bailed on him.

20:10 And a few new things have popped up.

20:12 Mainly, Bobby's fiance has told everyone that it was her who decided to postpone the wedding. And it's not because they couldn't finish planning. She said that this current situation with Jay has brought up some past issues in their relationship. Oh, and that she needs more time to talk to Bobby about it and reflect before fully committing to marrying him.

20:31 Oh, so he has issues. And we all been new.

20:34 One of the few times I've ever seen Bobby express vulnerability is with his fiance. I'm hoping that she can be the one to talk some sense back into him and hopefully even talk through his hatred of Jay. I've seen some comments say that Bobby coming to Jay's apartment to invite him shows that Bobby really does care about him being there. I thought I should at least tell Jay that, even if it may be untrue. His response was, Appreciate the sentiment, but Bobby has never given me an incentive to be part of his life. If he really did care about me, then his invite wouldn't be attached to an insult, but instead to an apology.

21:08 Jay with a G, come on! With the bars! Let's go!

21:13 Jay knows how to cook, dude.

21:14 All hail Jay.

21:16 Oh, hey.

21:18 OJ.

21:19 OJ, can you see?

21:23 There is a second update here. After Bobby's fiancé' s Gracie, 29 female, announcement, the drama cooled down a bit. I was a little concerned because both her and Bobby were completely silent for a good month.

21:36 No texts, no calls. It was like they disappeared.

21:39 During this time, I took the advice of some commenters and apologized to my Jay for trying to force a better relationship between him and Bobby and for brushing off the bullying that Bobby put him through. He said that he forgives me, but I still want to work on being a better sister. A few weeks ago, I got a message from Gracie asking if we could meet at a restaurant and if I could bring Jay with me.

22:00 I asked why, especially after all the silence, and she told me that her and Bobby wanted to talk. I informed Jay about this. I wanted to know what was going on, so I was going to go. But I told him that he didn't have to go with me if he didn't want to. He told me that he thinks he'll be able to handle it, but if Bobby still treats him the same, he'll just leave. Me and Jay went together. When we got there, I could sense that Bobby was feeling nervous. He looked like he was about to cry. Me and Gracie started the conversation with just catching up with each other on what's been happening since we last met. At some point though, Bobby cracked.

22:31 He took a deep breath and looked at Gracie. Bobby started a speech about how we grew up and my mind was racing trying to figure out where this was going until suddenly I just heard the words, I'm bi and everything cleared up.

22:44 What did I say? Projection at its finest, ladies and gents. That's crazy.

22:49 He's Bobby with a B.

22:55 We have J with a G and Bobby with a B.

22:57 Oh, dude, this is the best story.

22:58 Oh, my God.

22:59 This is crazy.

23:00 Bobby with a B.

23:02 Bobby with a B and J with a G.

23:07 Oh, who would have thought that the most common reason people are like this is Yeah.

23:12 Could have been the motivator behind his behavior.

23:15 The people who are always like closet guards like.

23:17 That, who are just like really bigoted and whatnot, most of the time they're just hiding how they truly feel. And it's always been that way.

23:25 Yeah. Bobby's talking to Jay like, you can come to the wedding, but make sure you turn down the flamboyance.

23:32 So that no one sees me as that.

23:34 I'm getting married to my wife. I don't want to remember I like men.

23:37 Bobby went on to talk about how he's felt he needed to hide this his whole life. He was envious towards Jay for being able to express himself so openly, which led him to start bullying Jay and pushing him deeper and deeper into the closet. It ended with him apologizing to Jay and asking for forgiveness.

23:55 Jay was quiet for this whole talk until he felt it was his turn to speak.

23:59 He said, Bobby- I hear you. I know where you're coming from. I understand where you're coming from, but none of that excuses the crap you've put me through since we were teens. I can and will try to forgive you, but it's going to take a lot of effort on your end.

24:17 Oh, there's a little bit left here.

24:19 I mean, what?

24:20 Okay, so scenario. You are now J with a G. The actual J.

24:24 Yeah, I don't forgive him. I'm like, okay, good for you. It still doesn't fix anything.

24:30 I don't forgive you just because you were confused and hated yourself.

24:35 Where's the effort? I'd be like, prove it. Go kiss the waiter.

24:38 You're going to have to start putting in the work.

24:40 You are going to have to put in the work to fix us if that's going to happen. You?

24:47 I wish you the best.

24:48 You capital Y.

24:49 We can't overuse this. I'm putting it back in the drawer. It's too good.

24:54 It's too good to waste.

24:55 Back in the cookie jar with a J.

24:58 Cookie jar.

24:59 I want a cookie in my jar.

25:03 Yeah.

25:05 That's all. There's more story.

25:07 Yeah.

25:07 I hope this is your family. I'll get together and be a happy family.

25:12 Yeah.

25:13 Just because now you can be open with your, you know, I've been open this whole time and I had to feel bad about it. So should I start bullying you now? Would that make this even? Like, how would that feel, freak? Just don't, don't be a bummer. Do not be a bummer.

25:28 This guy's a bummer.

25:29 All right, let's finish it up. The rest of the night was a bit of a blur for me.

25:32 There was booze involved.

25:34 But I do recall Bobby and Jay cry-hugging by the end, which I was very glad to see.

25:39 Jay.

25:40 says that there's still a bit of awkwardness between the two of them, but with time, he thinks he might just see Bobby as his nice, older brother again. As for the wedding, it's back on, but with an undecided date as of right now. And yes, Jay is going to be allowed in this time.

25:56 He can even bring his boyfriend along with him. Wow, what a turn of events.

26:00 At first, he literally was like, you can't come because you are Jay with a G.

26:04 And now he's like, you know what? Bring your boyfriend.

26:06 I'm bye with a B. We're Jay-ing it up.

26:08 We're Jay with.

26:09 A G-ing it up now.

26:12 Bobby's even decided to have Jay be a groomsman and told him, you can act as Jay with.

26:18 A G as you want, Jay with a J-E.

26:25 Which I don't think is the best thing to say, but I like the sentiment. And that's the end of that story.

26:33 I refused to give my room to my foster sister. My whole family turned on me.

26:37 That's my room. I.

26:39 17 male, have lived in the same house since I was two when we inherited it from my paternal grandparents. And I've always had the same room. Being so young, I never got to choose my room when we moved in. But honestly, I think I got the best one. It's right next to the garden, close enough to the bathroom that I don't wake anyone. And there's enough space for my bed and a desk.

26:57 Everything a growing boy needs.

26:59 Everything a boy needs.

27:00 A bed, a desk. Garden access?

27:02 Garden access to the garden so I can dig for my carrots.

27:06 However, my mother wants me to move out to give the room to my foster sister, Deanna, nine female.

27:12 Be clear, Deanna has a room.

27:14 My biological sisters, Alice, 25 female, and Betty, 22 female, have moved out. And while Alice's room has been turned into a new office space since we're working from home, Deanna has been given Betty's old room. It's a little smaller than mine, but there's still more than enough room for her to put all of her belongings. And my mother has let her paint it whatever color she wants.

27:34 Although it's not perfect. Deanna has recently been complaining that the room is too cold at night and that she struggles to sleep. My mother has offered her additional blankets, but they don't seem to help.

27:43 This is just Sophia.

27:44 I'm so cold. I'm so cold. I think she's got like an iron. She's like lacking iron.

27:51 Potentially. Also, what pajamas is she wearing?

27:54 Yeah, get her in fleece pajamas. Put some blankets on this girl. Get a little space heater.

28:01 Space heater, sweatpants, socks.

28:04 Have we also just tried like, does the little vent have like a little thing you can use to turn it off?

28:09 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

28:11 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Question. Are they putting AC in her room?

28:15 No, she just says she's just called already.

28:17 Do they live in Antarctica?

28:20 That would make a lot of sense.

28:21 OK, well, there we go.

28:22 So my mother has decided that she wants to move Deanna to my side of the house and consequently me into Deanna or what was Betty's room. I, however, do not want to move. Deanna is only here temporarily, so it will be a lot of hassle to move my things out of my room and back in whenever she leaves again.

28:38 By the way, this comes from Angle Aussie.

28:42 And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit.

28:45 I'm Dakota.

28:46 I'm Sophia.

28:46 I'm Australian.

28:47 And we are here to give our Australian advice goofily. And we don't have all the answers. So just remember that when you tell us what you think down in the comments.

28:56 And OP says.

28:57 Also, my mother and her social worker allow Deanna to scribble on the walls in crayon, and I don't want my bedroom covered in poorly drawn cats and fish. My mother is unhappy that I am unwilling to move, which I understand, as she has to put up with Deanna's complaining, but I don't think that I should have to sacrifice my room. Betty came over for a barbecue, and she and my mother lectured me on my selfishness, and apparently, while I was stopping Deanna burning herself on the barbecue while getting food, they were complaining about me and my attitude.

29:25 I understand that my mother would prefer that I agree to swap rooms, but I really don't think that's the solution. Deanna has been complaining a lot about many things lately, so I wouldn't be surprised if she's just going through a phase or acting out. Betty has messaged me a few times to tell me to make life easier for our mother and that it's only temporary.

29:42 So Reddit, am I the a-hole?

29:44 No.

29:45 No?

29:46 No, because clearly there's something else going on. Like, I think... Yeah, as Yagaira says, sounds like the little girl wants all the attention the mom is giving in. Yeah, I mean, she's in a foster situation, probably is not used to this new environment and, you know, wants the attention and she's getting it.

30:06 Yeah, like, honestly, dude, if blankets aren't working, let's figure it out. Why? How?

30:12 Why?

30:12 In what universe?

30:13 She probably just wants the best room. We shouldn't just teach the kid.

30:17 That you can lie to get whatever you want. That's a bad lesson.

30:21 You teach the kid what I was taught in kindergarten. You get what you get. You don't get upset.

30:25 There we go.

30:26 Well, there's nothing. We looked into it.

30:27 And although many suggested it, Deanna would not have been allowed to have a heater in her room at night as it is a hazard. And usually she doesn't have an issue in the room until long after she's gone to bed. So it would be pointless to heat the room up in the day. As someone here pointed out, my room has a door to the garden and allowing foster children unsupervised access out of the house is never a good idea.

30:49 And I doubt the social worker would have approved.

30:52 I did point out my mother's hypocrisy, as many suggested, at refusing to give up her own room, and she seemed to drop it after that.

30:58 Nice.

31:00 Perfect.

31:01 There you go.

31:01 Very good. She went up. You got me there.

31:03 That was smart.

31:04 She went up. I like it.

31:06 So many people had suggestions, and I tried to look into all of them. One suggestion was a weighted blanket that someone described feels.

31:15 Like a hug, so we've bought one of those.

31:18 It was the equivalent of $ 27, so not a bad find, but unfortunately, that did not seem to help any more than the other blankets. We also gave her my old hot water bottle. It's got one of those fluffy cases that looks like a penguin, but that didn't work either, and she still didn't want to sleep in her bed at night. However, someone suggested a blanket that looks like a mermaid's tail, so we bought one, and she absolutely loves it.

31:42 She's had the blanket for two nights, and there's been no complaints.

31:46 So was she just not using the blankets?

31:47 She just thought the blankets were ugly.

31:48 Yeah.

31:49 Yeah.

31:51 All of the blankets were ugly. And she's like, I care about being stylish in my sleep.

31:55 The nine-year-old just needed a blanket made for a nine-year-old. That's crazy.

31:59 Also in regards to my relationship with Deanna, some people commented that I harbored resentment and I want to make it clear I do not. I know it's not her fault my mother makes weird decisions on her behalf and I don't blame her for being fostered. I took a commenter's advice and made a pillow fort with her and we hung up fairy lights to try to make the room feel more like her own and I bought her some stickers that she's now covering her headboard with so she seems.

32:22 To be doing alright.

32:23 I'll admit that we're not as close as my biological sisters and I and that perhaps I could make more of an effort, But I have a lot going on right now, and she doesn't seem to mind.

32:32 Cheers again, Reddit.

32:33 Jeez.

32:33 And that is the end of that story.

32:35 Hey, it's Carly, your favorite axolotl host here. We're going to get back to the stories, but here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

32:44 My roommate demanded I buy things for us, even if I won't use it.

32:48 Can't you just tell them no?

32:51 My friend and I wanted to dorm together, and since we're juniors, we had the priority to choose. We picked one of the dorms that had two types of rooms. Room A was large and furnished with a bathroom. Room B fit two beds and a desk. The living room came furnished and included a mini dining table. It's important to note that the university charges everyone the same amount, no matter the room or dorm. Everyone is assigned to a room that they are responsible for when it comes to cleaning and damage. We selected room A. Two girls, both sophomores, joined in room B. They found us on Instagram and created a group chat. Before we moved in, they started discussing who would buy what for the shared space.

33:32 I let them know that I wouldn't be cooking and that I had a meal plan I would be using for food. I also told them I had a kettle and a toaster that I would bring, as well as some cleaning supplies, dish soap, and dish sponges. Emma said she was bringing a whole kitchen set of plates, bowls, and utensils, along with cutting boards. Willow said she was bringing a Keurig and baking supplies. My friend Paige said she was bringing a microwave and a trash can. By the way, this comes from That Hurts, Aubrey. Ouch, Aubrey. Ow, Aubrey.

34:02 And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash OK Storytime subreddit. I'm Sophia.

34:06 I'm Dakota.

34:07 I'm Sophia.

34:09 Oh, no.

34:10 How will we.

34:11 Tell each other apart? But if you can tell us apart, put it down below in the comments. Thanks. And Opie says... emma started getting irritated in the chat and tried to get me to buy more things for the dorms she told me i needed to get a pots and pans set i again let her know that i wouldn't really be using the kitchen so i wasn't going to bring that much kitchen stuff she said it wasn't fair that just because i had a meal plan i refused to contribute and help with shared costs i told her that shared costs were things we would all be using and that pots and pans were expensive so i would not be buying a set She argued that when you share an apartment with people, there are things everyone typically uses.

34:52 So it makes sense to establish who's bringing what, even if you might use something less than someone else. OP's using it not at all.

34:59 Yeah, not really. It's not really on the table.

35:02 Also, yeah, there are shared things. This is unreasonable.

35:06 Yeah.

35:07 Also, you know, you don't split the pots and pans, bro.

35:09 No.

35:09 You buy a set of pots and pans. Those are yours. They're yours. But people can use.

35:14 Yeah, exactly.

35:14 Because what are we talking about?

35:16 That's so weird.

35:17 Yeah.

35:17 This is going to be a rude awakening for her interest in life. It's funny.

35:22 I repeated that I wasn't going to be cooking, so there was no need for me to buy things when I wouldn't play any part in using them. I pointed out that both she and Willow would be in the apartment seven days a week, so if they wanted to discuss kitchen stuff, then by all means, they could go ahead. She stopped responding in the chat. A couple of days later, Emma texted again. She said she and Willow were wondering if we would be willing to switch rooms after a semester, adding that she thought a lot of people do this.

35:49 She wanted Paige and me to switch rooms with her and Willow after the first semester because our room is bigger.

35:55 No.

35:56 This is so weird. I'd be like, sorry, can't do that. It's my room.

36:03 Seems like a little extra.

36:05 Paige said, No thanks. And I said, I didn't want to. Emma pressed further, saying they were just wondering, since we're paying the same amount of money. It makes sense and seems more fair, especially if I'm only there for four days, while she and Willow will be living there seven days a week.

36:21 Sounds like sucks to suck.

36:23 Yeah, sorry.

36:24 Bummer.

36:24 You didn't get it.

36:25 Welcome to the world of having roommates.

36:28 For real. Get over it.

36:29 I say, thanks for asking, but no.

36:32 Yeah, it's like, sorry, I picked this place first. because I got priority. I told her that Paige and I had searched until we found a room we liked. I explained that I'm there five days since I go home on the weekends, and Paige is there for seven, but that it doesn't matter who's there the longest or whether that's fair. That's our room, and it's the one we're responsible for, so that's the room we're staying in for the year. I reminded her that she had asked if we wanted to switch, and we said no, and that was final. She stopped replying completely in the chat. No matter the topic. Should I have complied or at least been nicer? She was just so pushy. And that's the end of the story. No.

37:14 Easiest no of all time.

37:16 No, no, no, no.

37:18 No.

37:19 Easiest no of all time.

37:20 And that's the end of this story. Let's head to the next one.

37:23 My roommates called me a snitch. Over a water bill?

37:27 Called the cops over the water bill.

37:29 And this comes directly from the r slash okay story time subreddit.

37:31 Oh boy.

37:32 Boy. So, I moved into this duplex that's split into two living spaces. I'm in one, and there's a family of three in the other. A dad, mom, and 18-year-old daughter. Things all were going well until they moved in the daughter's boyfriend, and there was a raise in the water bill. Mmm, he's taking those long showers. When my landlord asked me about it because she covers the water... I communicated that it was probably because of the new person living here, which she had no idea about.

38:03 Oh, no!

38:04 Maybe they should have told you that you had to keep that a secret.

38:07 True, you can't possibly know that.

38:10 She told them he had to leave, and they got extremely mad at me for snitching. The dad continued to yell at the landlord, telling her that if I'm going to be causing all this drama, he's going to end the lease. And she just told him to go right ahead, but he never did. That was the start of them doing everything to be petty to me.

38:27 Imagine trying to pull that as a power play. You're like, I'll end the lease. It's like, oh great, you'll have to pay me money to move out. Yeah, and to break the lease.

38:36 I'm sure I won't be able to find another tenant.

38:39 Oh no.

38:40 Oh no.

38:42 Leaving trash bags in the yard, leaving the gate open so my dog might get out, pulling the trash bin into my parking spot so when I get home I have to move it before I can park, using up all the hot water, playing loud music all the time, and so on. And if I even dare say anything, it's a big problem. One time when I moved the trash bin into my parking spot, I sent a message to the dad saying, asking that they please make sure not to do that. And he responded with, if you're going to be petty, you can come move your lawnmower out of my garage. The garage is theirs, but the deal was that since I mow, I can keep the mower in there. By the way, this comes from Murky Record 1678. And if you want to submit your own stories,

39:25 go to the r slash showcase story time subreddit. I'm Sophia.

39:28 I'm Dakota.

39:29 I'm Keon.

39:29 Hey!

39:30 And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we don't have all the answers. We only know what we do. Let us know what you would do in the comments. And Opie says, I.

39:36 Think my gut's telling me glue all his plates together.

39:40 Plates?

39:41 Yeah.

39:41 I don't know if she can access those plates.

39:44 Oh, if you can, glue them together.

39:46 Glue them.

39:47 Now to present time. I've been living here for about a year and a half, and all this has continued through this whole time. That's crazy that you stayed.

39:55 Yeah, maybe, like, can we move?

39:57 Because it's been a year and a half, so your lease has at least ended once.

40:01 Yeah.

40:01 Maybe Opie likes it. Maybe he's like, maybe I like a little bit of, like, a little, uh.

40:06 It adds spice to my life.

40:07 Competitiveness, yeah. Makes my days fun.

40:09 A few months ago, I started noticing things out of place when I would come home from work, like a bag of bagels on the counter being moved to a different spot. Or a light... I for sure turned off being on or something I had in one place being in a complete other. I just told myself it was all in my head. Why? You have a really awful neighbor who actively makes your life harder. Why would you not immediately jump to the conclusion? They're probably coming into my house. Last night I got home from work and noticed a hallway light on that I never turned on.

40:44 And I thought it was weird, but I just figured I accidentally hit the switch. Well, then this morning while getting ready, I went to go grab underwear. One thing about me is that I keep my underwear drawer perfectly organized. Well, when I went to go grab some, it was completely ransacked. Now I know I'm not crazy and that these people have been breaking into my space for God knows how long.

41:07 We've got a little bit left. Any final thoughts of how to handle this?

41:11 I guess you just weren't part of the panty raid.

41:13 Oh, that's so weird. I don't know. I feel like I would have thought, my neighbors are probably trying to mess with me way earlier.

41:23 I think you put the clear packing tape entirely over the entrance.

41:29 To his door. Yes.

41:30 And then he goes.

41:31 And then he walks into it. And you go, I don't know who did that.

41:35 You leave a bunch of marbles on the floor everywhere.

41:39 Or what you really could do now is call the police and have them investigate your home for a break-in. and they can CSI and probably find some evidence that someone has broken into your house.

41:53 That's a good idea, too. So I called my landlord, and she bought me a camera immediately. I'm going to set it up and try to catch them coming into my space so I can press charges. I haven't noticed anything missing, just stuff moved around, and I genuinely can't tell you why they went through my underwear. The girls upstairs are both bigger built, and I'm very tiny, so it's not like they could steal them for themselves. I'm just extremely grossed out and feel completely violated. Anyways, the daughter is set to move out next month and the dad and wife broke up. Oh, so the wife is already out. And the dad plans to move by the end of the summer as well. So even if I can't catch them, at least they will be gone soon.

42:34 Any advice is much appreciated. Do we have an update?

42:36 I can check.

42:37 I mean, yeah. How are they getting in? Do they have keys or are they like picking a lock?

42:43 I think there's like a shared living area. So I assume that you could just pick a lock.

42:48 This is just... Or a vent. Okay.

42:51 I did, because this is from our subreddit, by the way.

42:53 Oh, right.

42:54 Yes.

42:54 This is from a month ago. OP does say camera is set up and I have motion detection. So now I just got to play the waiting game. We'll definitely update if I catch them. So I'm going to check right now.

43:04 Ooh.

43:06 Ooh.

43:06 Tell us, because we read your story and we want to know.

43:09 Home Alone style booby traps.

43:11 I've got a bucket of paint. as a gal says, and then a bucket of feathers, and they're falling on you. They're on the door. They fall on you. You're covered in it, and then I go see you immediately.

43:22 Paint and feathers.

43:24 Get one of those things they use for, like, anti-theft that, like, explode with, like, paint or, like, dust or whatever, and just set one of those up.

43:33 Set one of those up at, like, eye level.

43:35 It is a lot of cleanup for OP.

43:37 Yeah, yeah, that is true. Maybe not. Maybe don't do that one.

43:41 No update?

43:41 No update.

43:42 Dang it.

43:43 Dang.

43:44 At least your landlord's on your side, though.

43:50 And that's the end of this story.

43:52 Let's head to the next one. Hey, it's Dakota, your favorite rat brain host here. And we're going to get back to the stories soon. But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors. My roommate tried to block me from moving in before we ever met.

44:06 Why'd you do that? I, 22.

44:09 Female, just moved into a four-bedroom apartment in Brooklyn. I found this place on June Holmes, and I am here for a little over three months. Upon my arrival to this apartment, my roommate Samantha, 27 female, looked absolutely shocked to see me walk in. I politely tell her that I am one of her new roommates. She said, oh, did they not tell you? They give me the option to approve or deny roommates, and I sent them an email saying I didn't want to live with you.

44:36 No.

44:38 No. That's not how that works.

44:40 Do you own this place?

44:41 Yeah, that's not how that works.

44:43 I mean, I don't know what the laws are, if it's in an agreement or a... I don't know if that's legal. I don't know what's... I don't.

44:48 Know what's up.

44:49 Honestly, it's New York. You never know.

44:52 Bad vibe, though, immediately. It's like, what did... You don't even... How did you deny me already?

44:57 You don't know who I am.

44:59 Okay, strange first interaction with someone. I then told her that they had already taken my money and therefore I will be living here. All is okay and I don't see her until the following day. I explained to her that I would not mind taking the trash out if it meant that I didn't have to go out and purchase another garbage can, and she agrees. Mind you, her belongings take up the majority of our shared living space.

45:38 Empty boxes, bins, and clothing. It's to the point where it's blocking the bedroom door of another tenant.

45:45 Are they okay?

45:46 Yeah, they're like, hey, I can't get out.

45:50 By the way, this comes from Merly Sauce. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash okay story time subreddit.

45:55 I'm Dakota.

45:55 I'm Sophia.

45:57 Pizza.

45:58 That's a pizza boy.

46:00 Pizza time.

46:01 And we're going to read this story and have our thoughts and opinions and we're going to say them and you get to have yours in the comments and we all get.

46:06 To have a wonderful time together.

46:09 I'm Keon.

46:10 Yeah, he's Keon. Opie says, fast forward to yesterday.

46:14 I'm getting ready to leave for a friend's birthday party and I need to shower and use the bathroom. I check at 830 and the shower is on. I then go and do my thing for about an hour and the shower is still on at 930. I knock on the door and Samantha opens it. She is not showering, but she has the tub faucet on for some reason.

46:33 Eventually she leaves and I'm able to do my thing, but Samantha had been using the bathroom for well over an hour, which rubbed me the wrong way.

46:40 Fast forward to this morning.

46:41 I was coming in from staying the night at my friend's and I see my dishes on the counter. I assumed that she had run the dishwasher while I was out and had left it out for me to put away.

46:51 This was not the case.

46:52 She went out of her way to empty everything that was not hers from the dishwasher and just washed her own dishes. She comes out of her room, and my dirty dishes had just been sitting on the counter overnight.

47:03 You want bugs, bro?

47:05 Wait, I'm sorry. You literally wanted to wash your dishes. You put them in the dishwasher to wash them, and then she took them out?

47:13 It's so strange. I would not be able to resist confronting this person.

47:16 Yeah, no, I'm confronting immediately. I'm going, girl, what's going on?

47:21 I asked her if she took my things out of the dishwasher, and she said, oh, yes, sorry. I can empty my stuff out now. In this moment, I then meet the person who's in the room next to me, Nathaniel, 28 male. And we discussed how she has been acting. Apparently, when he had toured the place, Samantha was out there trying to convince him not to move in. The person giving the tour says that Samantha does this frequently, and it seems as though she wants this four-bedroom apartment to herself. Again, very weird and a bit antagonistic. Thirty minutes go by, and I see a note on the trash cans. It read, I know I told you I was comfortable with you using my trash can, but now I am not.

47:59 Can you please buy yourself a new one?

48:01 This is so weird. She had to put a note. She couldn't even tell you this. She had to put a note on the trash can.

48:07 A passive aggressive note.

48:08 She's like, sorry, don't use this. Just a little note that says, wait, no, stop. Stop, don't use the trash can.

48:14 Should we just do passive-aggressive notes all over the apartment?

48:16 Yeah, and then OP opens it, and it goes, oh, I see you're using the trash can.

48:20 Close it, please.

48:21 I'd be like, I'd leave you notes, too, but there's not enough sticky notes to cover up all the crap that you have in the living room.

48:26 Get your stuff in your room.

48:28 I'd put sticky notes all over the apartment, and just be like, you're breathing my oxygen. Stop it.

48:32 Sorry, could you stop breathing the air?

48:35 And I'd just be like, by the way, fully ignoring that. Go ahead, put a lock on your trash can, freak.

48:41 I'm using your trash.

48:43 This really set me off.

48:45 She comes out, and I ask her if she can move some of her belongings out of the shared space to make room for another trash can.

48:50 She said she didn't have any space in her room. Not my problem, I fear.

48:54 I then explain to her that it's very weird to take someone's dirty dishes out of the dishwasher without saying anything, and I question why she can only wash her things and not anyone else's. I tell her that we can use the dishwasher pods I bought. She said she can't use that dish detergent because it would ruin her plates.

49:10 How? How would it ruin your plates?

49:13 If your plates are that sensitive, you're hand washing, dude.

49:15 Yeah.

49:16 I just tell her that she needs to get rid of a few boxes so that there's space for others to have their belongings. And we leave it at that. I purchase a new garbage can and bags and bring it inside. Nathaniel is now in the shared space and says to Samantha, would you be able to move your trash can? None of us are allowed to use it.

49:31 I don't think it should be in the shared space. She again said she was sorry, but she doesn't have any space in her room. Hey, did you know you can get.

49:40 Rid of stuff?

49:41 Yeah, I'm sorry. You have too small of a room to have all of those things, so you must get rid of the things.

49:47 I'm just, stuff's going to start disappearing.

49:50 Yeah.

49:51 I don't know what happened to that.

49:52 I thought that was mine.

49:53 I thought you were getting rid of stuff.

49:55 Yeah, because it was in a box in the living room, so I threw it out.

49:58 Nathaniel goes on to tell her that it doesn't make sense to have that out in the common area when nobody else can go near it. He ate with that. I completely agree. Now I'm here trying to figure out what to do. I feel as though she acts this way to try to get people to move out. I plan on documenting everything should this get further escalated. Any advice would be appreciated, and we do have an update.

50:19 I just start giving her the same energy. Start moving her stuff. I don't know.

50:24 Yeah, I mean, if any of her stuff is like, if there's like a couch or anything, if any of her stuff isn't in a place that makes part of the space unusable, just throw it on the floor in the corner.

50:36 Truly.

50:36 Start moving her stuff.

50:37 It's like, you don't care, clearly. She touched your plates.

50:40 You don't have enough space for this stuff. Either get a storage unit or get rid of it.

50:45 And I'm using that trash can, too.

50:48 I'm putting so much trash in there that she can't even close that trash can.

50:52 I'd love for you to stop me.

50:53 I'm picking her up and putting her in the trash can.

50:57 She's going right in the trash can. I'm flipping her upside down.

51:00 Trash.

51:01 Update next day. I would like to explain a few things. One, Samantha has been living in this apartment for well over a year. Two, our rental company works like student housing. All four of us have separate leases and we each pay for our own room and use of the shared space. You can rent a room for as little as one month, but for up to two years. Three, when a tenant is already living in the apartment, they get an email showing them the profile of a potential new tenant. You can sign a notice of decline if you do not want to live with the replacement tenant. Samantha tried to sign that for all three of us who have moved in, and I assume has done it to most people who have tried to live in the apartment with her. I'm

51:39 pretty convinced Samantha has some form of contamination OCD. That explains, but does not excuse, a lot of her weird behavior when it comes to separate trash cans, long showers, and not wanting to have other people's dishes in the dishwasher with her things. Obviously, this is not something I can bring up with her directly, as that would be completely inappropriate.

51:57 Would it be?

51:58 Is Opie being sarcastic?

52:00 No, I don't think so.

52:01 I don't know. Why would that be inappropriate? What she's saying exactly is inappropriate.

52:06 Just talking to her. Bringing that up to her.

52:07 Bringing what up, though?

52:08 Being like, you have OCD?

52:11 Oh, specifically asking. Oh, okay, okay, okay. I misheard that. Maybe, because you don't like her. You don't really have that type of relationship with her.

52:21 Last night, Samantha moved the boxes that were blocking the doorway to the other tenant.

52:26 I have now met that tenant, Paul.

52:29 I love to think that Paul's just been stuck in his room the whole time and she finally moved the boxes and he's like, I pray, I pray.

52:36 He's got an entire farm in there. He's built an ecosystem.

52:39 He's doing a Matt Damon in the Martian.

52:42 He's Martianing.

52:44 Paul is not as concerned with this situation as he will only be living with us for a month. I'm glad she moved the boxes, however. They are now on another table in the shared living space. While it is no longer a hazard related to the egress of Paul's doorway, it still violates the lease terms because our shared space is still being used as her personal storage unit. This morning, we had a cleaning lady come in who the rental company hires when new tenants move in. That was all fine until I heard Samantha laughing with the cleaning lady, and I stepped outside to see what was going on.

53:17 As soon as I walk out, Samantha asks the cleaning lady if they can talk about something outside.

53:21 Ha ha ha.

53:23 I would only assume she's complaining about us. As for the report I made to our rental company, I have yet to hear back. Supposedly, they will be calling Samantha today and telling her to remove her belongings from the living room, and if nothing changes in a few days, they will further escalate it. Nathaniel has now also made a report that documents the antagonistic behavior Samantha displayed when he was taking a tour. Overall, while I can empathize with the potential of her struggling with contamination OCD, her behavior towards us has been extremely rude and uncalled for.

53:54 I'm hoping that pressure from the rental company can force her into getting a storage unit or throwing away some of the empty boxes.

54:02 They're empty?

54:03 I'm throwing them away myself. They're gone. She don't know how to.

54:07 Pack out her boxes? Just fold them up, girl.

54:11 They're gone. I would have thrown them away so quick.

54:14 Update two. Two days after.

54:17 Samantha has relocated some of her belongings. Yet again, she is just moving them to other parts of the shared living space.

54:23 She just moves them like a little bit to the left and she's like, see, I moved them.

54:26 Yeah, she's like taking video evidence of it too, just like.

54:32 Yep, I moved it six inches.

54:33 You're welcome.

54:34 That's plenty.

54:36 She's still leaving three of us with little to no room in the common area. Samantha and I have not really interacted in the last few days. She's been in her room pretty much all day. When she isn't, she's usually scrubbing the crap out of her belongings. She has yet to use the dishwasher since the initial incident. I have been using it almost daily. She is really adamant on not washing her dishes with other people's. We had a brief run in yesterday where I was putting a storage container under the sink for my chemicals and she insisted that she move her sponge and soap that were also under the sink herself. I also saw Samantha disinfecting her bottle of olive oil this morning. She really does

55:15 not want us anywhere near her things. Now this is weird to me because all her crap is in the living room.

55:22 What's up with that?

55:23 Yeah, she has like a contamination thing, but also is fine with it being in the living room.

55:30 What's going on?

55:32 This would be fine if her belongings didn't take up the majority of the living room, LOL. Well, I mean, just start laying on it. She's got a bunch of clothes laid out on the couch.

55:42 Just back, dude.

55:43 All right.

55:44 All right.

55:44 I'm laying on these clothes. And she goes, no, my clothes. And you go, oh, well, you should keep.

55:48 Them in your room.

55:49 Yeah. Yeah.

55:50 Or you can keep them here. They're so comfy.

55:51 They're so comfortable. Just roll around them. You start wearing them. You do like one of those challenges where you wear all the layers. And you're like, oh, I just thought because you left them out, they were here for me.

56:03 You do a Weezer pork and beans.

56:05 Lastly, and most importantly, both me and Nathaniel have gotten responses from the rental company. I was more focused on her breaking the literal terms of the lease, as I felt like that could get us more direct action. I'm hopeful that this weekend some of her stuff can be moved into a storage unit or dealt with appropriately. We have a third update four days later. Hopefully the wheels of bureaucracy.

56:30 That finally works.

56:33 The wheels of tenant bureaucracy move ever slowly.

56:36 The wheels on the bureaucracy go round and round.

56:39 The wheels of tenant bureaucracy move as slow as molasses down the river of time.

56:46 Oh, OP says, unfortunately, this update brings little good news.

56:53 No, you're kidding.

56:53 You're joking.

56:54 You're kidding. The wheels of the tenant bureaucracy didn't move quick?

56:58 They didn't go around at all.

57:00 Oh.

57:00 They're parked.

57:02 They have one of those little wheel caps on them that they do when they tow you?

57:06 They're booted.

57:07 Booted up.

57:08 In fact, I am now so annoyed and at my wits end that I will be escalating and complaining until I get my way.

57:15 Let's start with this weekend.

57:17 I stopped by my storage unit to grab a few things, one of those being my PC. I'm starting a remote position and need it for work. There is simply no room for me to bring my desk, so I decide that I will be moving one of her boxes to make room for my monitor, keyboard, and mouse. And I did just that. I was able to get my work done and all was well. Later that night, I'm out in the common room and Samantha approaches me. She asked, would you be able to move your computer? I use those bins for cooking.

57:46 Bins for cooking?

57:48 What?

57:49 No. No! Opie says. I would.

57:54 But there is literally no room for me to fit a desk in here. She asked if I wanted her to move her things. I simply do not understand how someone has this much stuff and insists that they need and use all of it.

58:07 I moved my things. She pushed her table all of six inches.

58:12 My plan is to just move the box when I need it and put it back when I'm done working. because I found out something this morning that has truly set me off. Today, Nathaniel and I received another update from the rental company. How I chose to read it was, we know Samantha has been breaking the lease and has been antagonistic towards you guys, but she's moving out in two weeks, so we actually solved the problem.

58:35 I mean, yeah.

58:37 Actually, no.

58:38 Oh, no.

58:40 No problem was resolved. In fact, it was made worse.

58:42 No.

58:44 Color me shocked.

58:46 June Holmes basically told us to go F ourselves and pay the full price of the rent.

58:52 Not on my watch.

58:54 Immediately upon receiving this message, I call their support line and I'm connected with a man who can essentially guarantee nothing. I explained to him that I don't understand how they are expecting me to just let this slide when she's literally breaking the lease by having her things in the room. I won't be paying full price when I cannot use a large part of the space I am paying for.

59:12 I care and doubt on him. He said that I likely will not get any sort of refund whatsoever. I'm going to absolutely make sure that is not the case. Quite frankly, it is a slap in the face to just let this slide without any sort of compensation. She's literally breaking the contract. At this point, it is beyond Samantha, and I am just now so annoyed with June Holmes.

59:33 June Holmes is the real villain of this story. This whole time we thought it was Samantha, but it's the bureaucracy itself.

59:41 Yeah, she's just their pawn.

59:43 Property management companies don't care about you.

59:47 No, they don't care about you at all. They just care about money.

59:50 The man on the phone said they would resolve this later today, but we will see.

59:55 And we have some comments.

59:56 Well, later today is in two to three business years.

1:00:00 Yeah, that is true.

1:00:02 And for them, that's really fast.

1:00:04 Yeah, they're putting their best people on it.

1:00:06 It's speedy and efficient.

1:00:09 We've got comments. OP adds info. I found out this evening that she is not being evicted. The date they provided is just the natural end of her lease. We as tenants don't have access to see how long someone will be renting a room, which is why Nathaniel and I didn't know until they told us today. But I did not get her booted out. I am being told to just wait it out. This is a solution. I won't deny that. But it's one that I am impatient for.

1:00:36 September can't come soon enough. I'm not regretting how I handled anything. It's a lot different to hear about a situation on Reddit than to actually be living it. And if you were in my situation, you'd probably want some of your rent back, too.

1:00:48 Let's be so for real.

1:00:51 Absolutely.

1:00:51 I want my rent back. I want my sanity back.

1:00:53 Give me all my rent back.

1:00:54 I want my time back. I want my apartment.

1:00:57 Yeah, fat chance, though. Good, absolutely good luck. You will need it.

1:01:03 Do I feel for you?

1:01:04 Yes.

1:01:05 Will you get your money back?

1:01:06 No.

1:01:06 Three weeks later, we got another update. Today is the second, and she's still here.

1:01:11 Huh.

1:01:14 And then I start pulling, like, I'm Nikki in Obsession. I'm in the corner of the room every night, freaking out.

1:01:20 You start pulling pranks on them?

1:01:21 Yeah, I duct tape her door. She doesn't know what's going on. And I go, no, that wasn't me.

1:01:27 You duct tape the door shut, and you go, I just want to make sure none of the bad air can get inside.

1:01:31 Yeah, I just felt like you wanted to stay here all the time, and we could hang out.

1:01:36 She tries to talk to me, and I just go, bugs in your skin, bugs in your skin, bugs in your skin.

1:01:40 Germs, germs. Germ, germ, germ.

1:01:43 That's warfare right there.

1:01:44 Start blasting Alicia Keys and Frank Sinatra 24-7.

1:01:49 A few days after my last update, I had my very first full conversation with Samantha. I was getting ready to go out, and she was meal prepping in the kitchen. She said, you know, you're one of the best female roommates I've ever had.

1:02:01 That is hilarious.

1:02:05 But that does feel a little bit like when people are so kind of just not with it socially. and have their own kind of issues, they do consider people who just have basic decency.

1:02:22 As like the cream of the crop.

1:02:24 You really took all the that I've been hurling at you.

1:02:27 Everyone else really hates me.

1:02:29 You've just dealt with it, as one should.

1:02:32 Just know if I had water in my mouth, it would have been spit out immediately, because how the F is that possible? Samantha then goes on to explain her previous roommate situation. And how crazy some of them were. She had to get a restraining order on some man who had been living in Paul's room at some point. Apparently, the girl who lived in my room last had her mom come and threaten Samantha. She said she appreciated me, Nathaniel, and Paul because we did not touch her stuff maliciously.

1:03:01 Overall, a very odd conversation.

1:03:04 And it gave me some info that explained a little of why she is the way she is. Paul has officially moved out and we now have a vacancy. What confused me, though, is that Samantha never moved out.

1:03:15 All her stuff is still here.

1:03:17 Yesterday morning, June Holmes sent a rep over to do a move-out check for both Paul and Samantha's rooms. They knocked on her door, but she never opened it. Oh, Lord, she's going to squat.

1:03:28 And now she is a squatter. And June Holmes is going to go, well, I don't know. We can't do anything about it.

1:03:35 I start my day as usual and set up my desk to do some remote work. About an hour in, Samantha comes out of her room, and I make the mistake of asking how she was doing. She said, Nathaniel and I were up talking from 1 to 4 a.m., and I think he was flirting with me. I put it all into chat GPT, and it told me he absolutely was.

1:03:57 Oh, she said, when he said hello and asked me to move my stuff, was that flirting chat GPT? And chat GPT said, no. Probably, yes. He's probably very interested in you. You should continue to ask him to help move your things.

1:04:13 Dakota, you should say that in the robot voice.

1:04:15 Yes.

1:04:16 He is definitely flirting with you. No other man would speak with you otherwise. Would you like me to elaborate?

1:04:26 This is where this whole saga takes a more uncomfortable turn.

1:04:33 Also, why do we need chat GPT for that? That's insane. She then proceeds to tell me about their conversation.

1:04:38 I will spare most of the details, but it did end up with her explaining her spicy sleep life to Nathaniel. Mind you, this may have been the first conversation these two have had in the month we have been living together. I tried explaining to Samantha that if you give a man an inch, he will take it a mile. You can't just start going into graphic detail about your sleepy spicy life with a random man because he might take it as flirting. She tells me that I can read what she put into chat GPT. In this wall of text, my suspicions were confirmed. She does have contamination OCD, and I told her I noticed it as well. I know she did have to tell him to stop touching her at one point, but she also scratched Nathaniel to show

1:05:23 him how sharp her.

1:05:23 Nails are for some reason.

1:05:24 This is so weird.

1:05:27 I'm just confused by the entire interaction. At this point, I'm just very weirded out because I thought we had gotten to the point of cohabiting somewhat nicely. She said, I brought you up too.

1:05:40 Oh, brother.

1:05:42 Why'd you do that?

1:05:43 She said, I asked him what his type is and he described dark features, women that are smaller and skinnier.

1:05:50 I thought he was describing me. So I asked him what he thought of you. Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew. She said, he said he thought you were pretty.

1:06:00 Ew!

1:06:00 I am just trying to live here. I'm not looking for anyone's opinions on me, especially my looks. She then admits to me that she did a good stalk of the both of us before we moved in.

1:06:10 I did a good stalk of you, I did. I did the best stalk. I was behind you while you were in a ghost since, and I walked for miles.

1:06:20 Yeah, this is where you go, oh, wait, wait, before you start talking to me about that, let me get my phone.

1:06:25 It is not recording.

1:06:26 Okay, go for it.

1:06:27 It's definitely not recording.

1:06:29 You're like, oh, that's cool. Shut up. I don't want to hear that. Why would you say that?

1:06:34 She knew my birthday and even looked into our personal backgrounds and beliefs. When she found out we didn't line up on some of it, she seemed surprised at how calmly I took it. I mean, yeah, you just told me you looked up any bit of personal information you could find of me online. I am not trying to get on your bad side. Samantha then tells me that because of a legal contingency, she hasn't been paying rent since April. And I had just paid rent that morning, of course. So, hearing that she basically gets to squat here was not the best news. She just got a new job last week, and from what I understood of her rambling, that is what she needed to move out, I guess, so she will be gone soon? Eventually, she

1:07:20 knocks on my door and asks me to help her move her boxes into Paul's old room. She said in our lease, it says we have access to the whole apartment. So like we can go into any room. I wouldn't go into yours though.

1:07:34 The lease says that we can, we can, we can go into anyone's room at any time and we can be in there. So sometimes I don't go into your room at night and watch you sleep. I don't do that.

1:07:45 The lease also says you can't put your crap in the shared space. Did you read that part?

1:07:51 I don't think she can read.

1:07:52 She has selective reading.

1:07:54 Yeah, okay, thanks for prefacing with that. That's totally not suspicious.

1:07:58 Regardless, I help her move a few boxes, and the main living area is finally more open.

1:08:02 Hooray!

1:08:03 A couple of hours go by, and I get ready to leave for grocery shopping. Samantha stops me before I leave. She said, I've decided that because I haven't had spicy sleep in two years, I'm going to try and have spicy sleep with 23 men in one month to catch up.

1:08:19 I said, I don't think that's how that works.

1:08:22 Ha ha ha ha!

1:08:24 She said, I was so passy a couple of weeks ago that I was really thinking of going for it while pointing to Nathaniel and Paul's doors. I kind of give her a look like Bob the Blob from Monsters vs.

1:08:39 Aliens.

1:08:39 Oh my God, what a reference. What a reference. Loved that reference. I loved that movie when I was a kid.

1:08:48 Because why do you feel the need to tell me these things? I do not mess with you like that. And that, folks, is the full update. I have not spoken to Nathaniel at all.

1:08:59 I am very uncomfortable. that she asked him that question. And I'm just hoping Samantha leaves soon.

1:09:04 Please leave.

1:09:06 Yeah.

1:09:07 Get on, girly.

1:09:08 Go find yourself those 23.

1:09:11 23 in you. 23 in you.

1:09:14 Yikes.

1:09:15 It is really uncomfortable in here now. I am thinking of bringing this info to June Holmes. However, I don't know how much they can do as she is essentially squatting. We are coming up to the final update here.

1:09:26 I really want to know if Nathaniel actually is into this or if Samantha is just super delusional and it might be a bit of both or just she's delusional.

1:09:36 I got to say, she has a vision and it's her right as a human being to pursue it. Maybe keep her dreams a little closer to the vest.

1:09:45 You know what I mean? Don't let me in on that. Feel free. Feel free. Not too free, though.

1:09:52 Love how she also brought up, by the way, technically I have access to all of the rooms.

1:09:57 So, might do a little rotation. You know what I mean? Bring four guys home and just put them each in a room. Say, wait your turn. Update five, one day later. Hello, guys.

1:10:08 I just got off the phone with a representative from my leasing company. I think I may just see if they have apartments that I can move into that are the same amount in rent as I Don't really want to deal with this any longer, especially knowing it could take months for the eviction process to run its course.

1:10:23 I appreciated that this man admitted to me that she has been a problem for them in the past. Also, I'm in New York, which is a one-party consent state if anyone was concerned. And a final eighth month later update.

1:10:36 Eighth month later?

1:10:36 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

1:10:39 I feel like it's going to be like, Samantha is still living in that apartment.

1:10:42 No, please.

1:10:44 Samantha has conquered all of New York City.

1:10:46 She hasn't. Samantha has developed a network of tunnels in the New York sewer systems. And now she goes from all apartments.

1:10:55 All right. Eight months later.

1:10:57 Samantha was formally evicted in February and things have significantly calmed down.

1:11:02 That's it?

1:11:03 Oh, yay!

1:11:05 Good.

1:11:05 Whatever.

1:11:06 Let's go. Congratulations. I hope you had a party.

1:11:10 Get her out of there.

1:11:11 I hope you had a little party. A Samantha-free party. Eight-month Samantha-free.

1:11:17 Freedom party. And that's the end of this story.