Oh My Gosselin! | RHONY Recap

0:03 Reality with the King is hosted by me, Carlos King. I'm an executive producer who have produced some of your favorite shows from the Real Housewives of Atlanta, New Jersey, and my own creation, the Love and Marriage franchise and Bell Collective. Every episode, we recap reality television from the Real Housewives franchise to The Bachelor or Selling Sunset. in addition to celebrity guests, whether in the unscripted space or scripted as well. Hey, Raindrops. On today's episode of Reality with the King, we are getting into the third episode, season 16 of The Real Housewives of New York City.

0:46 And let me tell y'all something. Three times a charm. And then there were three. DC3, The Supremes. trifecta, triangle, threesome. I'm trying to find all the... Lower Carlos King, not threesome child. Look, I am trying to find all of the things to describe the number three because in this third episode, I know I said this for the premiere, the second episode, I'm saying it again for the third consecutive episode. Bitches, Roni is back. I literally... sit and watch this season, dare I say, like it's appointment television. Okay, so here's a gag. Y'all know I'm busy. I have a lot going on. I am the owner, founder, CEO, president, and also a client of my own production company, Kingdom Rain Entertainment. I have a few shows on the air.

1:53 I have to watch cuts, have meetings, pitch interviews, shows, and you know, I have a podcast. I drop eight episodes a week now because we have Three Housewives airing, we have Love and Marriage Huntsville that's airing, Ultimate Girls Trip, it's a whole thing, right? In addition to my Monday Night Live, I have a lot going on. So normally, I will watch my shows that I recap, you know, sometimes the next day on Peacock, okay? Sometimes, this is so bad, do not repeat this to the people in the industry because they'll be mad at me, but I'm just busy, so I don't have time often to sit in front of my TV to watch a show. Okay, so between us raindrops. Sometimes I will go on a few of these Instagram pages and watch the clips so

2:50 I can watch it in that way, like quick moments. Child, it's not often, but if I am like traveling, have a lot going on, no shade. That's like my cheat sheet. No shade. I'm just giving y'all the real. Baby, Roni is becoming the show where last night I was like, what do I watch? Do I watch, you know, my scripted shows on Apple TV? Pop the balloon on YouTube? No, bitch.

3:21 I said, wait, it's Tuesday. I get to watch Roni in real time. And I'm so glad I did. Great episode. Let's get right into it. Look, we have Jessel and Hailey playing pickleball. Y'all know I love Hailey. As of now, Desi is my fave of the new girlies. But Hailey is somebody who I love extraordinarily. I just think she's one of those women who was made to be on television.

3:54 Unlike Jessel. We'll get to that in a second. And I know that's unpopular. I'm being silly when I say that. I do have to read Jessup, but stay tuned for that. Okay, Jessup, you're listening. You're a great housewife. I just got to drag you a bit because you tried it. So we'll get to that much later. So stay tuned for the dragation of Jessup. Okay. Hayley is super interesting. And the reason why she is, because I feel like every episode we learn more and more about her. We got a chance to meet her mother in this episode. They did a FaceTime. I enjoyed it. Her mother is a wackadoo in the best compliment possible. Her mother reminds me of Jennifer Tilly. Look, not from Beverly Hills, Carlos. Jennifer Tilly

4:47 had a career way before she was a friend of Carlos King's. The actress, Jennifer Tilly, who happens to be a friend to the show on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. There you go. I cleaned it up. Okay. Hailey's mom reminds me of Jennifer Tilly. Just like super funny, super unassuming. Just like, you know, says what she means.

5:11 She's quirky. She's wacky. And you get to see where Hailey gets it from. In this episode, as she's talking to Jessel, we do learn that she pretty much got taken off of the... She got dismissed from the team when she was in college, tennis team, I believe, because she was smoking weed and had a mugshot. And when they showed her mugshot, she looked like a completely different person.

5:48 She made reference to the eyebrows. Besides the eyebrows, baby, it was the face. It was everything. Like, she looks like a completely different person. It was given before and after of Dorit. If you've ever seen Dorit's before and after, Dorit looks like her first name was Dorito. Like, that's the jarring difference, okay? Hailey looked like Eminem, the rapper, before she... The way she looks now, she's a beautiful girl, but it was giving Marshall Mathers no shade. It was jarring to me. I had to watch 8 Mile afterwards.

6:34 In the shower this morning, I was singing Lose Yourself from the soundtrack of 8 Mile. I'm just saying it was giving Marshall Mathers no shade. But now, Haley looks amazed. I'm here for it. I'm here for it. By the way, I am fascinated with before and after pics because I love to see the noticeable tweaks and measures a person does to their appearance. I'm fascinated by that. I could be alone in that. That's fine. I am super fascinated by it. But we also learn that she pretty much is in a marriage where she's allowed to have girlfriends. Now, I know people are saying she's in a lavender marriage.

7:24 The reason why I don't know if we should call it that is because from the definition that I've learned, okay, a lavender marriage is where both parties are a part of the LGBT plus community. And unless I missed it, I... Oh, I got that wrong. Okay, I was wrong. I was wrong. I read that wrong. So I finally Googled it. So I was wrong. Okay, so here's the definition. A lavender marriage is a marriage of convenience between a man and a woman where one... or both partners are a part of the LGBTQIA plus community. Got it. It's not both, it's one. Got it. So she is in a lavender marriage. Okay. Okay.

8:21 All right. I was wrong. There you go. So she is in one. Her husband, she revealed she met her 20s and how they're pretty much stuck like glue due to the fact that when she came home from college, this is where the whole John and Kate plus eight controversy happened. So, the rumors between her and John started when Hailey's father did Kate's tummy tuck. Okay? Because remember when Kate Gosselin had the... How can I say this kindly?

9:06 Remember when Kate Gosselin had the low-budget Jennifer Aniston haircut? It gave mullet. It gave bob. You know what I mean? It gave skunk. You guys have to Google it if you have no idea what I'm talking about. She looked like a skunk. Okay. So... We know that when she became, you know, really famous courtesy of a TLC show, John and K Plus 8, that she was, she looked different, right?

9:49 So she had a tummy tuck, and the tummy tuck was performed by Dr. Lawrence Glassman, which we now learn that is Haley Spears. father, okay? So, because at that time, that show was huge. This is like pre-Housewives. John and, before, I mean, pre-Housewives phenomenon. John and K plus A was humongous. Like, covers of Us Weekly, the whole nine yards. I was in, like, high school. Maybe college. I don't remember. But I remember following this, right? So, anywho, while she was recovering from her surgery, in order to not be exposed by the paparazzi, Kate lived with her doctor, who performed a tummy tuck.

10:41 And his wife, which is Hailey's mother was helping Kate recover from the surgery. Okay, we have all this, right? Okay, good, good, good, good, good, good, good. Okay. So, here's the deal. The gag, the gag, gag, gag, gag, gag is, okay, when Kate was living there, John was like, well, shit, she's my wife. We have these eight kids. You know, I want to be there when she recovers. So he moved in. The part of the story I don't understand is who was raising the eight kids? If Kay is there recovering from a tummy tuck and John is there tucking her tummy, where are the kids? That's the part of the story I don't get. We got to find that out. There's a mystery there. Haley, are you telling us the truth? We don't get it. Allegedly, according to Haley,

11:48 when John moved in and she came back home from college, the friendship turned into more. That's what she said, which we could read between the lines. While Katie was recovering from her tummy tuck, John was tucking his, in Haley's tummy. You know, nip and tuck. he was nipping and tucking on Haley while his wife Kate was recovering from the tummy tuck. Okay, y'all follow? Now, because we don't know where the eight kids were, I don't believe this story.

12:28 I believe, in my opinion, allegedly, allegedly, allegedly, Haley had an affair, willingly. I think John came over there to visit his wife, Kate, and while he was visiting Kate, him and Haley were messing around in the other bedroom, allegedly. That makes more sense to me. Do y'all agree with me? No nanny is going to take the sole responsibility of watching eight kids while one is recovering from a a surgery that she wanted, not mandated, an elected surgery, and the other guy is just there to see his wife and was banging the doctor's daughter. That's the tea. I mean, just saying. That's what I think happened. But Haley, speak now, forever hold your.

13:36 Peace, okay? All right, moving on. One of the things that was going on this episode that I wanted to talk about was a conversation that was happening between Carol and Daisy. Daisy's marriage to her husband is also giving me... I'm not going to say lavender, but it is giving me fuchsia. So instead of a lavender marriage, we're going to refer to... Daisy's marriage as Fuchsia. This is Reality with the King, and I'm Carlos King. Let's get back into the show. Something isn't accurate in her story either, and Daisy is my favorite newbie. We learn in this conversation, okay, that Daisy tells Carol, sometimes I am wrong. really attracted to him, meaning her husband, and other times I'm not.

14:42 She said when they fight, he goes on Craigslist to look for an apartment, and she goes on the dating at Raya to look for a man. They live in an apartment with popcorn ceilings. Let me tell y'all something. When I first moved to New York City from Detroit, Michigan, it was the early 2000s. 2002 to be exact. And popcorn ceilings was a thing back then because, look, I was broke as a joke. I have $ 500 in my bank account. I was living in an apartment with my sister and her best friend. I literally got a job within seven days of being in New York City. I was working at The Gap on 34th and Herald Square.

15:33 It is now closed down. And we had popcorn ceiling and doo-doo brown carpet. Like, the carpet was rough. And we had mice problems. It's New York City. Our rent was 800 bucks for one bedroom. I slept on the floor on an air mattress. And because I'm a gentleman, my sister, her best friend slept in the bed. That was back in 2002. Well, Carl, let's be honest. Okay, 2002 through five. It was three years of struggle, child.

16:14 I digress. My point is I was in my early 20s, working out the gap, making $ 8. 25 an hour. You mean to tell me that Daisy at her big age, who can call Martha Stewart to ask about what type of Flour, should she use? Corn, flour, corn syrup, whatever, child. You mean to tell me, you and your husband collectively, I don't care if the rent is controlled. You can't be that cheap. To live in an apartment for 21 years, well, you 10 years, him 21, the rent is controlled. You guys are on top of each other. You have a child, right?

17:01 you're having flirty texts with the tutor, and now you're telling the world that you're attracted to him sometimes and you're not, this is giving a setup for a divorce storyline next season. They're not, I can guarantee you as a reality producer, she is setting the stage for a divorce storyline. And after he hears what she said, he's leaving her anyway. And what she's going to do is live in an apartment in the city Her storyline next season is, I went from having popcorn ceiling to a high rise with 10 foot ceiling. And I'm eating popcorn as I'm staring at it. Trust me, I wrote the script to it already. That's her storyline next season. They're not going to be married. They're not going to be together.

17:53 She's setting the stage for a divorce. It is what it is. That's what's going on here. I'm intrigued. I'm interested. But, look, to follow another divorce story, of course, I'm like, oh, gosh, another housewife going through a divorce? How groundbreaking. You know, like, great. That's why the thing with Psy, which, by the way, Psy had no storyline this episode. Psy, in the words of Whoopi Goldberg in Ghost, you're in danger, girl. You gave friends of the show tees. Martha Stewart has more scenes than you, Cy. You're holding an apple and Martha Stewart's holding a cookbook. Coupons. A paintbrush. A makeup brush.

18:50 A compact mirror. Martha Stewart has more screen time than Cy. The reason why is... Listen, I like Cy. I think it relied on me and Cy to be friends. No shade. Because I like her. She's scrappy. She's beautiful. I do like her as a person. As a reality star, in the words of Phaedra Candy visiting Chateau Charest, nothing was there.

19:17 But sticks and grass. That's the best I can do to describe Psy's storyline. It's sticks and grass with a little bit of debris. Anywho, Daisy... Divorce storyline is going to come up next season. I can almost guarantee you I can write the script. Just like Psy divorce storyline, we saw nothing going on that worried us between Psy and her husband. And instead of telling the truth, which is, look, I was hiding it because. I wasn't giving my real life to the show. She wants to say, I tried to protect him. Okay, girl. Whatever. I digress. Okay. So, speaking of Daisy, she meets with Jessel and Erica at her apartment. They start roasting her popcorn ceiling. Jessel is on one, talking shit about it. Daisy had an iconic

20:14 line to me where she says, our rent is what you pay the doctor to laser off your beard. Love that line. It could have been a rehearsed read, but I loved it anyway. Because rehearsed reads in a confessional, to me, are fine. I don't like it when they're talking about it in scene. And we'll get to Jessel's rehearsed reads later. Jessel then brings up Aaron. and feels that Aaron is giving Mariah Carey, she's obsessed with her.

20:45 And how she needs to be more worried about what's on Google, because when you Google her, she doesn't pay her rent. She's accusing her of having rats, not paying her talent agencies for months, and says that Aaron is in a lot of debt. Jessa also accuses Aaron, of allegedly committing insurance fraud based on what happened in her Hamptons home. Now, this is the motherfucking tea, bitch. I gagged.

21:22 Because I didn't think about that. All I'm saying is true. But I will give Jessel this. Jessel, I'm complimenting you right now, so leave me alone. Jessel ate with that one. Because now... Based on the evidence of what she was laying out about allegedly not paying the rent, allegedly not paying these talent agencies their fees, it's a good argument to believe that perhaps Aaron allegedly could have possibly, maybe, did a little bit of an insurance job in the Hamptons' home. Now, when I looked at the scene again, because I watched it, the Hampton home did look, it was horrible. It was absolutely horrendous. And although in my mind, in hindsight, I'll say that in hindsight, I am kind of like, okay, well, damn.

22:31 Busted pipes caused that busted? You know, like, when you really think about it, I mean, I'm talking about the closet, the flooring. It was bad. So to believe that one busted pipe caused that much damage, I don't know. Jessel kind of made a good argument. It got me looking at Aaron a little bit crazy. I'm not saying it's true, but I'm also not saying Jessel did not make a good argument either. What do y'all think, though? I actually gagged.

23:09 And I said, okay, Jessel, it's fucked up to accuse somebody of that. And I'm sure Erin is livid when she saw that on the episode. Because that's a very heavy allegation. And Jessel said it like she stole a Snickers bar out of a bodega. Or she stole Carol Stapler out of her car. You know, like, That's a very strong allegation. Albeit believable, strong nonetheless. Let me know what y'all think about that one. Because I really need to know if I was the only one like, I don't know, Jaisal, you kind of ate with that one.

23:51 And Jaisal, that's the only time you ate. Okay? Because... Look. I will go on record saying... when I started watching the reboot, I never understood the hype with Jessel. I'm not saying she wasn't interesting, but I always felt like, why are people online praising her as if she's the next best thing since, like, Stacey Rush? I didn't get the hype. And then, a friend of a friend of a friend in the industry, allegedly. Okay, here's some tea. Now, this is just, like, weren't on the street, okay? Hey, Giselle.

24:36 So a friend of mine who works in the industry, not reality, by the way, this is like somebody who works in PR, a friend of mine. We were having dinner once, and she was like, are you watching Roni? I'm like, yes, I like it. You know, it's okay. Like, I like it. I love it. Right? This is like three years ago, like when the show first had the reboot.

25:00 I'm like, it's not bad. It ain't great. It ain't bad. Whatever. And she's like, who's your favorite? I said, I like Aaron the most. And I like Brynn. Stupid me. No shade. I'm like, I like Brynn and Aaron. And I said, but people love Jessel. She said, child. I said, what? She said, Jessel works in PR. All that press she's getting, she's doing it herself. She has all the connections. And then I was like, Oh, that makes sense. And she said, girl, she's buying bots. Allegedly, allegedly, allegedly. She was like, she's allegedly buying bots. And I said, what is bots? Because at that time, I didn't get it. And that's when she explained to me what bots are. And then I said, wait, what?

25:49 She said, no one looks at Jessel like she's some queen. Are you kidding me? So then when Jessel was shading what you Google, when you Google, I'm sorry. When Jessel was shading bots, Erin, based on when you Google her name, what comes up. Jessa then says, look, when you Google me, instyle.com, and she started naming all these publications. And I thought that was so premeditated. Like, you are thirsty. Like, Jessa, you may be one of the thirstiest housewives in the past five years. Like, that was so premeditated. And any publicist knows when you want good press, you have your algorithm be on part of the first page when your name is Googled. Because why would you reference your own Google search to make a point? So yeah, Jessel's a weirdo. Now,

26:58 she's a good reality star. I don't know. I like my reality stars to live by the first four letters of their job description, which is real. If you are a reality star, start by being real. And Jelso just doesn't get me real. I think she's a pick me. I think she's a phony. I think she's thirsty. I think she's a weirdo. In the rehearsed read, she gave Aaron about a one-man Ponzi scheme. So Aaron and Jessel have a one-on-one. And you could tell Aaron wanted to clear the air, right? And Jessel just wanted to recite the read she wrote on the chalkboard 25 times, like she's the opening credits of The Simpsons, where Bart Simpson had to do it. I will read Aaron. one-man Ponzi scheme, Mariah Carey obsessed, like a bootleg Houdini. I've never in

28:10 my 20 years in this business, and I've worked with the best, Lanithia, Monique Josten-Leaks, Teresa Giudice, Kenya Moore, girls who know how to read for filth. This one scene between Aaron and And Jessel, she had five digs as a point of reference. And that's why Aaron was like, what are you talking about? She said one-man policy scheme.

28:43 Aaron's like, what does that even mean? You think you're Zendaya, but you're Blossom. What? Get Jessel off. I would never say get anybody off my screen. What I will say is I want to see more Martha Stewart than Jaisal. I'd rather see more Psy than... Sorry, Psy, don't shade. Psy, just know this. In real life, me and you will be friends. Don't shade. But nothing's there but sticks and grass.

29:15 So with Jaisal, Jaisal is just... Boo-leg Houdini... You think you're Zendaya, but you're Blossom. One-man Ponzi scheme. Mariah Carey obsessed. Jessel is the fucking worst. And I can't. I just can't. But I will give her this. She's a beautiful woman to look at. She's pleasing to the eyes. She's a... beautiful woman. Beautiful. Stunning. I mean, no shade. She's the most beautiful New York housewife of that cast. She's absolutely stunning.

29:53 And you cannot take that away from her. Now, her confessional look, no thank you. The bob ain't bobbing, the bangs ain't banging, the outfit's weird. But when she's in scene, like Aaron said, you wore a club outfit to a morning coffee breakfast situation. Like, but hey, Aaron is gorgeous and I would never take that away from her. She's just, she's a Housewives fanatic and she studied too much and I'm not feeling her. I can't take it. Give me more Daisy, Haley, Aaron. Aaron may not be the most likable person, but I believe that is who Aaron is in real life. I do. Now, to be fair. Sorry, y'all.

30:42 I'm drinking my green juice. Okay. Now, to be fair, because I'm fair. Daisy had a Passover dinner at her parents' home. Nothing really was happening until Aaron shook the table. So Aaron gives Hailey jam that said it's jam of the month based on Hailey saying she's boring. Aaron, I love you, but your re-words were hers too. So Aaron says, I would rather be boring than break up a marriage of a man who has eight children. Reed did not fit the crime. okay Haley deserved to get read but that was such a severe read but I was like damn Aaron I like it but I could tell it was rehearsed because it didn't it didn't match it didn't match to me you're boring well I'd rather be boring than break up a marriage of a man who has eight

31:47 children which we now know she's talking about John Gosling which by the way I told you guys earlier I don't believe that shit I believe that Haley willingly and consensually had an affair with this married man. I don't care what, allegedly, allegedly, allegedly. I don't care what anyone says. I don't care what Haley says. But as a matter of fact, let me call Kate. Kate Gosselin. DM me, sis.

32:15 So raindrops, do me a favor. This is so funny. Raindrops, DM Kate Gosselin and let her know that Carlos King from award-winning podcast that remains in the top 20 on TV, film, Apple podcast, child wants to talk to her. Cause I need to hear from Kate Gosselin, baby. We need to know what's going on here. Cause I don't believe it.

32:42 I believe Haley had an affair willingly. I do. I don't care what anyone says. I believe it. I believe it. I believe it. But I will say this. Love you, Aaron. That was a rehearsed read. And I didn't feel like Haley deserved it in that moment. But it made for good commentary. And this season is cooking up to be good.

33:07 By the way, I did love Erica and her husband's scene. I love seeing Erica's billionaire husband. I like that he's filming. The apartment's cute. I like their relationship. Erica looks at her husband with a sparkle in her eye. So that makes me believe that she did not marry him for his money, especially because we learned she comes from money.

33:32 Not as much as her husband, but again, this is why, listen parents, I have a lot of mothers who listen to Reality with the King. Listen, Erica's parents, to me.

33:46 Made sure that their daughters who was born into the upper class of the world, was in the rooms to marry somebody that made much more.

33:59 Money than her dad did. That's what y'all have to do, child. Make sure your kids are meeting the right people in the right spaces. So that they can marry somebody that they do not have to take care of. Just saying. Okay. Now, with that being said, Let me know your thoughts. I love this episode. It was good. It was good. It was good. It was good. It was good. Leave me a comment. Spotify or on Twitter, Xthreads, Instagram. And let me know your thoughts on this episode. And I will catch you all on the next one. Reality with the King is executive produced by me, Carlos King, produced by Jamie Schaefer in partnership with the Black Effect Podcast Network.

34:47 You can also find us at our YouTube channel at thecarlosking underscore. I'm also dropping tons of exclusive episodes on Patreon, which you don't want to miss. Make sure to subscribe to that, too.