S11E19: THE GAP BETWEEN EXPECTATION & YOUR REALITY (R. 1/7 Reclaim serie)

0:00 Welcome to Strokes of Adding the Odds. I'm Karina, the hosting creator. The mission of the show is to help you move forward past the events of the stroke, reclaim your life and reclaim your identity. You see, 28 years ago when I had my stroke, there was no social media, no podcasts. I had to figure everything out by myself, and I did. That's why I created the shop, because I don't want you guys to suffer the way I did.

0:30 Even if only one person around the world feels better about their situation, my job is not In here. You're going to find everything I have learned over the 28 years that helped me survive this world as a stroke survivor. In here you're going to find your community, so grab yourself a drink, a pen and paper because the Fink is the Fink is better than the best memory. Come and join me here as we are recording today's episode. Before we officially commence the show, I want to remind you to like, follow and subscribe on any platform you are currently listening to the show.

1:12 Make sure also that you share with Sugar Bear, Pay It forward the way I am with you guys in 2021 when I decided to have a podcast, decided to have a voice and eventually give you guys a voice. Cause a lot of the content that is in here, you guys are providing it, whether it be on any platforms, on social media, Facebook, TikTok, people I talk to. You guys are keeping my juices flowing, keeping my inspiration. You're keeping me on my toes.

1:55 Yeah, baby, that's what you're doing. Alright. So in the in the intro, not the entrance, but the intro. I told you guys that the show's mission is to help you reclaim your life and reclaim your identity. As many of you know, I'm a stroke recovery coach and in my coaching I use everything that I've learned, everything that I've learned that I went to school. I put everything in this package. I call it the reclaim method.

2:34 Each letter of the reclaim is has a significance on your rehabilitation, on your recovery of stroke. And at the end of all this, the end of the seven days, because I will be here for seven days. You're going to let me know in the comments here on Spotify how you've been affected or rather which letter stands out the most to you that I can help you with.

3:07 Without further ado, we are starting at this very moment. This is where you're going to want to grab your pen and paper. OK, so we're going to start at the beginning with the letter R. Its significance means reality. More specifically, right now, I want to talk about the gap between expectation and reality.

3:32 The expectation gap simply means that it's the distance between what you thought life would be after stroke and what it really is at this very moment. Guys, either expectations come from others or it comes from yourself. Maybe you're thinking I should be walking by now. I should be going back to work by now.

4:02 Yourself talk is being hurt right now. Maybe others are the ones that are saying that you should be so much further along, so the should, should, should be something very hard to bear. Reality might be very different and that puts a lot of strain on being hard on yourself and being unfair and being unkind. I'm not saying this with a light heart, guys. I'm not reading this from a book. I'm sharing what I know, what I've. I've talked to thousands of people over the years that are stroke survivors and caregivers.

4:55 And when I say that it's unkind, it's because I know that stroke survivors are the hardest on themselves. And when we are hard, we are lacking compassion and kindness towards ourselves. So I think it's something that I've learned over the last years. Develop a lot of kindness towards yourself. Now. If you're not dealing with what's happened, you're having a hard time.

5:35 You're also constantly battling inside you. I have a question. I want you to be honest. You are going to rhetorically tell me because I can't hear you. So what I would like for you is to take your pen and paper and write it down. I want you to visually see your honesty and I don't want you to hold back. OK?

6:03 Are you comparing yourself to other stroke survivors? Maybe you're comparing yourself to yourself. Write it down in season 1 and season 2 in order for me to get comfortable with the podcasting thing. And now I'm at season 11. So I'm I'm comfortable now. I'm very comfortable. But back then, it was important that you guys hear what I've been through so you know that you're not alone. So in season 1 and 2, I tell you a little bit about me. I give you details of what happened and a big part of what today's show is about, right?

6:51 And the question I just asked you, well, I was comparing myself to myself a lot. And I have to say, the people, my family, my friends, even my husband, there was a lot of love, but there was so much comparison that you're not the woman I marry. You weren't like that before the stroke, you were cool as a cucumber.

7:25 Now you cry when you see a dog on TV. You cried for everything. After 10 years of that, it became hard. It became hard to bear. And that's when my depression set in. I don't want that for you. All right, So with what you just realized, those questions that you asked yourself, well, it just made you realize that it's time to accept.

8:02 Accepting does not mean you're giving up. Accepting does not mean you're giving in. It's simply saying it is what it is for the time being. So your mantra right now, I want you to write this down. I will no longer resist my own healing. Here's another way you guys can show yourself some kindness and compassion is realizing that you maybe have a little too high expectations, but many other people have too little.

8:37 It's too low. So the mantra I would love for you to write down, you're going to write too much is like too little. Starting now, I have just enough expectations about myself to keep momentum going. All right, you go ahead, go ahead. Don't wait. Write it down. OK, so now it's time for you to be proactive and ask yourself, what can I do with the reality that I have right now?

9:12 I'm going to close up this letter R for reality with this and I want you to listen carefully. Reality isn't where your story ends. Reality is simply where it begins. Guys, I hope you enjoyed the episode today. I hope you got a little insight on the reclaimed method that I use to help my clients and I will see you tomorrow with the letter E. So have a good one and remember like follow, subscribe, share with Sugar Bear and I will see you tomorrow. I love you.

9:53 Bye.