Stop Explaining Your Boundary to Your Toxic Parent

When you set a boundary with a narcissistic parent, or a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder, they tend to push back by acting like they don't get it. They argue, they question whether your boundary is even reasonable, they pull you into a debate about whether you should have it at all.
It's why these conversations so often end with you backing down, second-guessing yourself, and wondering if you were the unreasonable one all along.
In this episode you'll learn:
• Why a parent like this pretends not to understand your boundary, and what they're actually doing when they pull you into the back and forth
• The difference between setting a boundary and asking for permission, and why only one of those is your job
• The "side quest" trap, where the whole conversation quietly shifts from your boundary to getting them to approve of it
• What a healthy parent is able to do that yours likely can't, and why that gap isn't something you can close by trying harder
• How to get clear on your boundary before you ever bring it to them, so you're not improvising under pressure
Ready to go deeper?
Stop Getting Pulled Back Into the Chaos (confidentboundaries.com/course) is Torie's self-guided course on how to set and enforce boundaries with a parent who has borderline or narcissistic traits. It covers why your boundaries keep failing, what to do instead, and how to keep going when your parent pushes back.
Learn more and get started: confidentboundaries.com/course
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Need help getting ready for your next interaction with a difficult parent? Check out, Surviving Interactions With a Narcissistic, Emotionally Immature, or Otherwise Toxic Parent. (confidentboundaries.com/the-guide)
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Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline.
You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.