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Bad TV | A Reality TV Recap Program

More Than a Feeling | Love is Blind S11 E1 & 2

Freitag, 16. Oktober 2026 · 1 h 30

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Dylan, Pat and Ruby are back to break down Jesus, Tom Brady, Taylor Swift, love, blindness, and more from Netflix's Love is Blind.

PATREON: patreon.com/anotherpodcastnetwork

YOUTUBE: youtube.com/@badtvpod

INSTAGRAM: instagram.com/badtvpodcast/?hl=en

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Well, then he asks her, he goes, hey, this is a pretty crazy question. He's like, hey, what do you think about traveling around the world? Does that sound fucking awesome? She says, yeah. And he says, well, I.

Talk about somebody who just wants to make it to the resort. She's like, I just pick my laptop up and go. You don't, Erica.

Erica, Erica, you have to be in the office in Atlanta three days a week.

Yeah. Hi, hello, and welcome to Bad TV. We are here to break down Love is Blind. Ruby is live in studio, and I'm Dylan. That's Pat. Hi, Pat. How are you?

Great to be here.

Hi, Ruby. How are you?

Hi, Dylan. Hi, Pat. How are you?

I got my golden goblet, and I'm enjoying watching this show.

You're putting a buzz ball in a golden goblet. Yes, I am.

Wow.

I bit my lip.

Oh, that's God punishing you.

Oh, you know what? Pat is right. Don't make fun of him.

What am I getting punished for?

You were making fun of me.

His goblet.

Oh.

Guys, Ruby is very professional today, okay? She has come to the studio with her iPad. She is... the press secretary of this podcast.

Patrick, do you have a law degree?

Ask Dylan.

From China. Why?

Ask Dylan why I have this iPad.

Oh, that's such a good point. Go ahead and ask her.

Why do you have that iPad?

No, no, ask Dylan.

Dylan, why? Okay, well, so we were in Virginia together and had a great time.

Amazing.

You missed shooting. That was a lot of fun. But Ruby left her laptop there. Now, Ruby asked me, hey, I left my laptop. Can you bring it back? I said, no problem, of course. You're my sister. I'll do anything for you. And I forgot it in Virginia. And then you.

Can't overnight it because of lithium batteries. So it will be shipped to me by truck and waiting in New York when I get back there in a week.

But you do look very professional with that iPad.

Speaking of oversights, Ruby, do you mind turning around to make sure that little light is turned red?

It's red.

Okay. I just want to make sure.

No, it's red.

You guys smoke a lot of weed.

Yeah, so, well, speaking of, Dad said, you know, God damn it, you guys smoke so much fucking weed, and you're sloppy, and that's why you keep forgetting shit. And I go, but you smoke a lot of weed. He goes, yeah, but I don't forget shit. Anyways, he goes to the post office. I say, I need you to send that.

I need you to send that laptop. He goes on Columbus Day. It's closed, so he drives into town, can't ship it, drives back the next day, can't ship it. It's a whole thing. She's here. We're here. We're queer. We're here to talk about Love is Blind. Season 11? Yes. And we are in Pat's backyard, Boston, Massachusetts.

A lot of them did not carry the Bostonian accent. Surprisingly, there was only a couple. Yeah. Rob has a little bit of it and Maury.

Maury is for sure the biggest Bostonian.

And Michaela had it.

Do you think that these people feel like they're like you?

You know what? A little bit of Sarah. Certainly not Jax. Jax, she did not resemble anything that I grew up with.

Okay, because I was going to say, I don't know a lot of, again, you're a great representation, but all the stereotypes that I've ever bought fully since I was a child from television and film, these people were, most of them were not that.

Yeah, not one of these people was in like a nun mask robbing a bank or anything like that.

No.

It was pretty much just normal people. No, no, no, no, no.

They weren't Southies. that's the rougher crowd. I think, um, at some point I, I even think that Jax had said, I don't fuck with that.

Yes.

She said, you're poor and I don't want to ever go there. I'm not talking to you again.

Right, right, right, right. Uh, cause, uh, $ 220, 000 in revenue for your cornhole, uh, company is very cute. Uh, Jax is a tough name. We're batting, uh, Oh, for two with, uh, with that name, uh, but we'll get into her. Um, uh, We should mention that we're going to be doing the first grouping of episodes for free the rest of the season.

We'll be at patreon.com slash another podcast network along with our coverage of The Wheelhouse Wives of Salt Lake City, which had an episode. This week, that is, I mean, just one of the most legendary episodes of Housewives I think I've ever seen.

Agreed. Yeah. And it's truly a test. Lisa Barlow and.

Are you speaking of the glam kittens?

The glam kittens. And what I want to ask is, this is what every reality TV producer should do for those people that want to cast to be on reality TV. I want them to show that scene and say, could you do this? And if people shake their head and said never, then they go walk outside, get out. Because you can't be on reality TV.

Pat, that's incredible. That's the benchmark. You just, whatever show it is, you throw up the glam kittens and you say yay or nay. And you just, and that's it.

Betrayal.

Oh, they are, when she came back in.

Encore. Encore of the same song.

I'm embarrassed for everyone. Everyone that was there, everyone involved, even people that had to work there, unfortunately.

Can you imagine Kings of Leon closing out a set with Sex on Fire, leaving, coming back, playing Sex on Fire again? Everybody would be like... I mean, we like the song, but it's a little overplayed generally. You just played it twice, okay. But so yeah, go to patreon.com for that and the remainder of this season. Let's get into our blindfolds. We have our first two episodes that we're going to be breaking down. This episode, if I could start first with my blindfolds.

Please do.

If you'll have me. I just have a general kind of formatting issue. I feel like, and this could be a Mandela effect kind of thing, but I feel like in the first couple of seasons, we did a thing where we were hitting all of the couples that we were going to see throughout the season in the first episode. Mm-hmm.

The past couple of seasons, they've been doing this strange.

Misdirection.

Right. Well, wait. What?

Misdirection.

Morrie.

He was a prominent figure in the first two episodes.

Right. Exactly.

Is that where you were going?

No, I was going to say... And did you get my crime junkies reference?

Of course, I did.

So, the first couple of seasons, we would have the couples... And maybe not even all the couples that were going to make it out, but we had the chunks, and we didn't get all of the narrative in the first episode, but we had a smattering of everybody that we were going to see. The past couple of seasons, they do this weird thing where we'll spend almost the entirety of an episode, then episode two, then episode three, on like two couples or two triangles, and then they won't pan out to any... I just want to see more people...

I don't want to spend this much time on John with MS and Sarah. Can we fucking move on, please?

Sorry to step on your blindfold.

I give it 12 blindfolds.

Okay, it's funny you mention that. So the People magazine, they always do a huge meet the cast of Love is Blind. Which is absolutely pointless because I looked through that article to, you know, learn who the people are, what their occupations, their age, yada, yada, yada. And it's absolutely pointless because at least 10 of those people, you never heard them talk and they walked by the camera because you never actually saw them in the pods. So I think what you're pointing out is Why not give them a shot and let us see them have one date in the pods?

We want to see the most entertaining stuff. So there's this weird thing where if you're going to have a radical evangelist kind of wax Babylonian all over these modern women, show us that. I don't want to see just one sentence of the guy and then move on to more. You know, there's... The production of this show is second worst only to that of The Bachelor, who we've seen...

Not to say that it's not still entertaining, but the production of this show are uniquely awful at what they do. We've seen our favorites just not be filmed. We've seen people who are on the show cut out of the show. Just a comedy of errors with these guys. So I don't know why they have so much confidence in what they do, but they're doing it. I give it 12 blindfolds. Okay.

Ruby, you want to go next?

No. Okay.

So I... This is a refreshing new start for Love is Blind. I loved the casting, and I think it's on its way. I am into these characters.

Wait.

On its way where?

Well, I think to.

Where is it going, though?

Well, I.

whatever they've done, the sprinkling of the little special little, uh, special sprinkles of like reviving this show. I don't know what they did, but I'm kind of into it. Normally, I just fast forward. Even when we're covering it, I'll fast forward to the end and to see who gets on to the resort. And then I backtrack because I have to take notes. That's why I get paid.

Right, but you don't want your emotions turned upside down. Right. Because you invest yourself in this as well.

But I would have watched this even if I was not getting paid to recap it and just kind of go on the journey and drink wine and watch it with my wife because I was having fun.

That's a really... That's great. That's quite a co-signature there.

Maybe it's because it's from Boston, although half the people do not represent Boston, especially... Who's that guy who... That weirdo there. Stewie. Stewie is from Connecticut.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's fake old money trash.

Who's the guy in Gossip Girl that had the weird looking face and he raped?

Chuck? Yeah, he's, it's so, yeah, we'll talk about it, but don't love.

Okay. And how many blindfolds do you give it?

I just, I love the casting. Oh, and it's so hard. So Emily, Emily, please don't shade me on this. It's going to be pretty tough. Thank God that's going behind the paywall.

Emily.

She's... Remind me.

Okay, she's the one that looks like one of the Simpsons characters. She looks like a drawing of the Simpsons. She also looks like Mary from Sister Wives. She looks like one of those women that fucking Cody destroyed her soul. You know, she looks like a younger, prettier version before Cody got a hold of her and fucking broke her soul down.

Okay.

Yeah. I'm going to call her Erica Simpson.

Well, because I think her name is actually Erica. That's probably why.

I called her Erica. No, no, no.

No, you simply didn't.

What did I call her?

It was a magic sprinkle of Emily on Erica.

Oh, I meant Erica. Erica looks like a character from The Simpsons. And actually, sorry to keep saying sprinkle. Sprinkle a little, what's that place in The Grinch where they all live? Whoville.

Whoville.

She's like a little Whoville person.

Oh, got it.

Wow.

She's also a booch crafter.

What's that?

Oh.

Are we being mean?

No, no. Now she makes booch.

She's a kombucha.

Well, she did that in San Diego, but I think she's since moved back to the East Coast.

Right, but she did have her hands in the booch craftery of Carlsbad. That's right.

And so did Blakey, right?

Blake, one of my least favorite people on this show.

Who thought, who, I mean, okay, what a full circle moment.

How many blindfolds?

I'm sorry.

I'm going to give it 80 blindfolds.

All right.

That's way too high.

I think that these people are weirdly not bad. And I think that Dylan is right. The reason that it's kind of like, okay, this is just pleasant. It's easy to watch is because they are no longer going out of their way to focus on the things that we want to see. Like Maury saying, I'm a bouncer at a bar in a place that you refuse to go.

I wanted that to be, I could have watched it for six minutes.

Why was that so fast?

30 seconds is, and also producers should have said, we locked the door, you can't leave. I don't know, something, you know, letting Leo and What's-Her-Face leave and not film them. It just, we've been betrayed. These people are, they're kind of like NPC aliens playing Love is Blind characters. I think that they might all be way more dynamic and interesting in a dark way, which is great for Dylan and I, I guess, because Pat's loving everybody. Oh, I'm dark.

Is this show just The Sims? Is it The Sims?

I'm not kidding. In not a bad way. Because what's wrong with The Sims?

Nothing.

You.

build a pool, you put them in it, you take the stepladder out and you watch them drown. That's what this show is.

Oh my God.

Yeah.

I would give it, I'm excited to see where it goes.

Truly.

Um, I'm going to go 46.

I want to ask both of you, have you watched all five episodes?

No.

Okay, very good. Then we're just going to cover these two episodes with no spoilers.

Yeah, no, not the faintest idea what's about to transpire.

Well, I got to the resorts, but not watch the resort episode because I promised my wife we'll watch that together tonight.

Oh, the resorts have given us so many great things in the past. Fucka.

Fucka.

Come on.

Fucka.

Yeah.

Diamond. She'll live in my heart forever.

Forever.

She went on the show, and then she turned into a Street Fighter character who was meeting people at car washes.

To be fair, her husband turned out to be gay.

Well, he didn't turn out to be gay. He was gay the whole time. Yeah.

He was born that way.

So the reason why she said fuck is because there had been so much tension building up after the revelation that he'd been with a considerable amount of men. Now, she wasn't down with that, but they were engaged. Okay, so we kick things off with a theological debate. A couple of dudes talking about the Son of God and Jesus Christ. Son of God being Tom Brady, who mounted the 28-3 comeback against the Atlanta Falcons.

Yeah, a reference harkens back to the 2015 Super Bowl, which I bet less than 1% of the audience had a fucking clue what they were talking about.

Oh, everybody knows 28-3. I mean, come on. Okay. You know 28-3.

It's like if you held a gun to my head, lined up every single one of my family members and said, reference just what you think it could maybe be about.

Really? That's so crazy.

You don't know 28-3.

Everyone is dead. The catch? Jules' immaculate reception? I mean, it's crazy.

You didn't know Chuck Bass's name and you think that I know 28-fucking-3.

It's so crazy. Nick comes in and he goes... I can't stand how much these two really like... Hey. You know, I would imagine there are some braggadocious homeless people. And just stay with me here. I would imagine that there are some hobos, some concrete punchers and bellhops out there that are very conceited towards the other people in their community because of their digs. And that's what Nick and Vanessa remind me of. They're so... They preside over this nightmare that should be probably illegal. And they start giving out advice on love and relationships. It's like, what are you guys doing?

Dylan, I'm glad you started there. If you may, I'll give some examples. Well, I guess they're talking to both groups, the female quarters, the male quarters. And they start with the dudes. And one dude says, when you're 40 and you're at the bar, looks don't matter anymore. And that's when Nick jumps in. He goes, when you're 95, and I quote, it's inconsequential what they look like. Yeah, when you're 95, you're shitting in your pants, Nick.

Right, yeah. Here's the thing, Nick. These people are all not that.

Yeah, when you're 40, your goddamn right looks still matter, you fucking moron. And then I guess one of the gals, I believe it was Erica, who looks like one of the Simpsons, she says, hey, I'm a divorcee. And Nick puts a little sunshine on it. He says, hey, I'm a divorcee. He says, that gives you an advantage. Because what I learned in my last marriage to Jessica Simpson is, is to never marry someone that thinks tuna fish is chicken.

No, you never marry someone with a gay father who's going to tow your nutsack underneath the dinner table. That's what you don't do.

And Vanessa's dad is great.

It's just really, really tough to do that kind of recon. There's no other way to know than to know. Nick and Vanessa congratulate themselves, really, on 19 years of marriage and stress the importance of communications. In a relationship. Ruby, thoughts on that? And do you think communication is important in a marriage? No. Okay.

Well, then one of the participants is like, hey, if this doesn't work out for me, man, I've made friends with this dude over here that looks like Tom Hardy. I think I'll blow him after.

Okay. Whoa.

You don't remember that?

No.

Well, it's not that I don't remember. It's that it didn't happen. Oh. Right. But speaking of glitches in the Matrix, which is what that was a little bit, one of the participants goes, I know all of you guys are Gorgina. And really quickly, before we get to the kind of stroke that Vanessa Lachey has, speak on Gorgina.

I like, yeah, that unfortunately for you, that is something that I, that's something that people say. And that's something, the way that people speak.

It can't be though.

No, but it, it is though, Dylan. Like that's a very normal thing for a lot of people to say.

Gorgina.

This is Gorgina. You're yeah. I'm sorry. I don't know what to tell you. Don't be so horrified. What you should be horrified by was the correction.

Right.

It was, that was so unbelievably horrible. That was Ramona Singer correcting the name and saying the name wrong of the girl at the sexual assault dinner. It was, don't.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And what was her name again? Bridie.

Birdie, Bridie.

Birdie, yeah, yeah. Give me the mic, Ramona. Okay. Vanessa Lachey says, Gorgina. Oh, I thought you were saying Gorgina, referencing the 40-year-old virgin. Where in a brief scene where they're doing a speed dating date, a woman says that her name is Gina, and she's kind of a butchy lesbian. It's a scene that if conjured by some kind of insane moment like this, you go, yeah, I remember that.

But when you think of that movie, it's not one of the 15 moments that comes to the fore. I mean, it was really crazy stuff. So we get to John who discovered that he has MS, but he does not want this to be part of his story.

He doesn't want a pity party or to be known. He doesn't want to be known as John with MS, but literally just gave himself a nickname, which most of us will now refer to him moving forward, especially if there's another John in the quarters.

Right, right.

John from Milwaukee or John with MS.

Right.

Sorry, John. Don't do that to yourself.

How could he know?

Well, he could have said, you know, I like to, I play soccer. And we would have said John, the soccer player. And I actually, as we discovered about 10 minutes ago, my notes refer to this man as Rob. So I'm actually sorry to him.

Yeah. Sorry, John. With MS, Nick and Vanessa lay out the criminal experiment that they're unleashing the pod rats into. And we open the pods.

Yeah.

A couple quick little lines right out of the gate. Someone asks Jax what she does for fun, and she says shop. And you've got to run, Forrest, run. This woman is a nightmare, okay?

Get up and leave that pod, or just sit in it and don't say anything.

There was a man named Scott.

Okay, I have a note on him. He's the first red flag.

Yeah.

He's a baseball coach. He's... He put it on his bio that he's 36, but he fucking looks 63. He says he thinks astrology is satanic. I will give a spoiler. It's a throwaway spoiler. This is going to be a shocker to everyone. He doesn't make it to Mexico.

And here's the thing.

What?

If you're going to bring on a evangelist nut job into a show on Netflix filled with progressive millennials, more or less in a fairly liberal city. Let's see it because he's here for a reason. He's here to say, I don't want the gaze of other men while you're bartending to make you polluted. Otherwise I won't want to have sex with you. I want to see that conversation happen.

But he does think astrology is satanic. And then we get to Cam. Cam is our first kind of um, highlighted contestant here in this first episode. And he really wants to find a partner who mirrors his sense of humor, which is, um, kind of popsicle stick puns is his brand of comedy.

I must say, Cam will be a big part of this show, but I will say, out of the gate, very annoying. I do not like someone that does the dad jokes. I have friends in my life that initially started this way off. Maybe it's a way that they comfort themselves socially.

Sure.

I'm not a fan.

A pun to comfort yourself socially is a little bit like really enjoying the acoustic guitar. It's kind of what brings you ease. If you do it out in public, it makes everyone else uncomfortable. So you have to stop doing it, right? You can't do a pun to somebody that you don't know because it's just going to.

End badly.

Yeah, it's just going to be a tire screech. But this guy is a little bit... I got my. My feathers are a little on edge with this one. He seems too... slotted in with the different women that he's talking to.

Are you referring to Cam?

Yes. His interests align perfectly with the Hindu woman that he speaks with and then the black woman that.

He's talking to.

He's in love with SZA and Burna Boy.

Well, here's the thing, though. He's quite cultured as we get to.

Yeah, it could be true.

I mean, I don't know how you'd make that up that you lived in Ghana and South Africa and you read My Gita and... I mean, it's kind of all over the place. Yeah. He's way more impressive than when you look at this goofy fucking guy.

Yeah.

You're like, he looks like just a regular beer drinking schlub. And then he starts talking and you're like, who is this guy?

Yeah. It's really odd. And there's a moment where he sits down with a Neha and he starts talking about reading my Gita. And the only thing that I have a little bit of an issue with is that if you've read my Gita... Why.

Don't you tell the audience what that is?

Well, I assumed.

I had sex with a lot of Indian women. It's a 700-page tome.

It's not, though. That's the Bhagavad Gita.

Well, I'm saying it's basically the Indian version of the Odyssey. I had sex with a lot of Indian women. Okay.

Okay. It's an important spiritual text. Um, but my Gita, I think is just, I think it's a dude like writing about that. So for them to be talking about that and not really bring up this, not bringing up the source material was confusing to me. And I thought that it rang a little hollow and trickster. But she says that the... Anything on my Gita before we move on?

What is it?

It's just a thematic interpretation of the... the Bhagavad Gita. So like, I'm not a genuine ignorance.

But they don't say that or nothing.

No.

And I think it, um, kind of feels like it's a, is it just like a new and an old Testament or something?

I don't know.

And if that was super offensive, I am so sorry.

Definitely not that it's definitely not that. Um, but anyways, too long on this.

Um, but can I say something really quickly?

Uh, yeah.

When he speaks at like about all these things, you're like, wow, like that's so, it doesn't make me feel at ease. It makes me want to back I know.

I don't know why. I'm getting a vibe that it's kind of fraudulent.

Here's something interesting. Do we think that possibly Cam could have done some research on who's showing up to the show and then possibly catered his research of who he might be? This could be fun. Maybe.

Maybe.

Or maybe in his real life in Boston, he's just like, similarly to you, is trying to bed a lot of Indian women, and he is tortured.

Maybe he's just an eclectic cat. I don't know. We're being too harsh on him. She says that Hindu is a very peaceful religion.

Her parents were arranged, which is interesting. I'm sure they're going to love that she's on this fucking show.

Yeah, I was going to say, her parents are... We'll get there.

They're going to come to the wedding.

No, they won't. Our daughter will not marry our goddamn father.

I dated an Indian girl for almost a year. I never met her parents.

Yeah, that's true. Because you were never serious, Pat, okay?

You weren't going to be there.

Why would she waste their time?

Okay. So he sits down with another lady, Melanie, and- Melaina.

Yeah, Dylan.

What? Melaina. Malayne?

I've taken now. I actually spell it out.

That was micro, huh?

No, it's not micro.

Is that micro?

You've got to take a lot of notes. It's not your problem.

I apologize.

Think about Maine. Say Maine and then throw a fucking L in there.

Main-la. Nope.

Malayne.

Malayne. Oh, throw a D in the middle. God. Okay. So sorry. A little goofy. Um, he knocks it out of the park with her. He listens to SZA. He listens to burner boy. He goes to, he lived in Ghana for a while and his mother had the exact kind of cancer that she just survived.

It's so crazy. And I just don't know. I, I am not kidding you. There were multiple, this is, I should have put it to my blindfolds. There were multiple moments where I was like, what the fuck? And this was one of them. I was like, okay.

Yeah. Back to back. Like, if it was just an isolated thing, you'd be like, whoa, that's odd. But the fact that he just bats 1,000 in so many different areas with these people. Her and, well, no, no, we got to move on to Jax.

Jax, short for Jacqueline. Forgive me, God.

Oh, no.

I think we have another, quote, unquote, Megan Fox on our hands here, the way that she sees herself in the world. But, boy, oh, boy, does she see something in the mirror that the rest of.

Us don't see. My God. Yeah.

I mean, the way that she sees herself.

Am I right? I don't want to get mired in the difference between this kind of overconfidence and that kind of overconfidence.

Right.

But, you know, it was different.

Absolutely.

It was different. Right. Okay. So, she... says that on IG meeting with people is really easy because it's not about your personality. And she does have a small panic attack when she realizes that she's going to have to showcase her soul. Luckily for her, the first person that she meets is Kennedy. Mr. Stewie. Mr. Stewie. Smiles. They both have lovely teeth and they seem... perfect for one another he's very rich he's well-educated big word guy and he has place in his heart for both of his family's homes yeah which is tough because i mean two houses it sounds like there's a decent square footage to hold both of those in your heart right it's really hard he has a big heart though yeah he has a gigantic heart um But, yeah, I think that these

two are great. I mean, no spoilies. I don't know who makes it out, but I think that these two are a match made in heaven. Maybe.

Well, then we get to Jackson Morey, and this is when he tells her about that thriving cornhole business of his. And the biz did, I think, just a little over $ 200K in revenue last year, which equates to, well, when you add in another partner– taxes, employees, startup costs. I think, well, I think you probably owe, I think you're down about 30 grand.

It's tough.

So love can be blind, but love can't be poor, especially when we're talking about Jack's here.

Yeah.

And I believe you could, I think you could see her lay down her book that you take notes on.

Well, she threw up on it, so she had to get it out of her hands.

And then when he said he was a bouncer- when he clarified it, when he, when he was like, Oh, I bounce in Southie. And she was like, wait, you have a pogo stick in such a dangerous area. That's so crazy. What does that mean?

No, no, no. I'm security at a bar.

And then again, and then, and then they were like, okay, okay, get it, give it. And then the security, they had to come in because she was getting it all over the couch.

He was like, are you okay? She was like, Yeah, fine. I'm fine.

Oh, my. And then he left, because I think he's gotten that reaction quite a bit in his life.

The real love of his life walks in next, Benita, who is my favorite person on this show by a fucking thousand miles.

I am not kidding. I want a big brother style camera on her during this experiment at all times.

Now. to any man that walks into the pods with her, Homer Simpson, grandpa meme, write the fuck back out that door. Okay. Run away now. Okay.

I'm glad you're mentioning that because, um, I don't know how it ends, but I will say this. Uh, if you leave the pods to Mexico, don't consider that a win.

Uh, Her father owns a bunch of small businesses.

And she has brothers.

And she is Albanian, who he is a boxer in Southie who bounces. I'm sure he can handle himself.

Yeah.

Not against Albanians, buddy. You're going to get fucking mowed down. Yeah.

Before we give their conversation away, Maury, if you end up with her, three years later, there'll be eight life insurance policies on you and your body will be found in a fucking landfill.

Oh, yeah. Do you remember the last scene in Training Day? That's what's going to happen to Maury.

But they'll be Albanian.

Right. They'll be Albanian.

All right.

So let's get to Maura and Sarah. I was very confused. Spoiler at the end of the second episode. These two do not work out. She goes from, when we get to it, the antiquated view of masculinity is a little bit of a deal breaker for her. But the anti-vaxxer is completely fine. She's like, this is cool. I can work with this. Like, what is fucking going on? But anyways.

Well, we've learned a lot since.

Yes, we have.

Let me break this down. All right.

This is.

And I understand that she is a true blood Bostonian.

Yes.

This is the core Bostonian.

Can I ask you about Boston?

Like, so.

Broads in Boston, people in Boston, does it really just the fault lines Italian and Irish?

Oh, they're completely mixed. Like we've coexisted, we've mixed.

But those are the two big factions in Boston, right? Okay.

Yeah. And well, I mean, if we're going to talk about now, there's.

A lot of- It's a melting pot now, right? Yeah.

African-Americans and Puerto Ricans and all that. It's a melting pot like any other place in a major city.

But- There's a lot of mix.

It's a melting pot.

But she represents someone that you would know from home.

Oh, I've dated- I adore her. I've dated two Sarahs.

Is that wrong? Do you guys love her? Or no.

Oh, I love her. I love her, and I love Aneha. They're the sweetheart.

They're sweet, yeah. No, I think Sarah's just a fucking, you know, somebody that you would want to put a ring on. Yes. Just a down-to-earth girl.

Totally. She'll be loyal as hell. And what's shocking about Boston is Boston girls are the toughest girls to crack. They do not put out. They do not.

Wow.

They'll they're tough as they will.

Yeah.

They, you do not win them over. It takes a while.

Yeah. Good for them. Yeah.

Good for them. Um, I was going to say, so let's, uh, let's do this. So Maury talks about his love of T Swift and then, and then he says, uh, when he's get pumped up before a game, he'd play her music.

It's Taylor time.

It's Taylor time. Yes.

Go ahead, Ruby.

No, I was just putting out my hand to say, stop to everything. Not you.

Were, were you aware that, um, Cardigan is written from the male perspective.

Yes. No, no, I didn't know that.

Okay.

Um, but these are, are these the various Easter eggs that Taylor leaves for the super fans?

Yes. Yes. Uh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Um, by the way, uh, the last four songs that she released, um, all the Easter legs were shit.

Right, right.

Even her diehard fan said that.

It's lemming food basically is the, the clues in Taylor Swift's, um, um, Universe, yeah.

This time, though, everyone opened the eggs and they started to cry because they said, we ate what we thought it was chocolate, but it's shit.

Yeah. And then she said, ha, ha, ha. I was kidding. I didn't create that. AI did. That wasn't me.

Yeah, I know. Taylor Swift features very prominently in this episode. And it's like.

So does the fray.

Dear God.

The fray. Sit down the way I so feel. We'll get there. I'm so excited to talk about the fray. This guy, John with MS, is a loon.

I can't wait. I really hope we get to meet his family. And I hope they come on the show.

They're probably sweet.

I don't believe that. I don't think that's true.

I have a question for you, Ruby.

Yep.

All right. So as a female, what do you think about Rob, the dude that looks like Tom Hardy?

Cis female.

Is he good looking to you?

Rob.

Rob.

Wait, that's not, Rob does not have MS. Who is Rob?

Rob is the guy that looks like Tom Hardy a little bit. He's got like a beard.

Not the boat man.

Not the boat man, that's Blake.

No, he's the guy that like, he gets like very serious about.

Oh, the Frank Sinatra thing.

That's right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He like plug your ears done. I would fuck him. I would not date that man.

Right.

Like I'm, I think he's 38.

Yeah.

Okay.

Well, he's just big. Like I, he's just a big person.

He looks like a bouncer. I think his job is he's like sales and AI or something. He's got like a legit job.

Yeah, sure.

Did you know that, um, sorry, you didn't know that cardigan was written from the perspective of.

The, the girl that got cheated on.

Yeah.

Uh, well, I just said that to you, right, man.

Didn't Blake Lively name one of her daughters that?

Um, I just, I just want more.

Isn't it funny that Taylor Swift doesn't talk to her godchildren?

Wait, what's going on with that?

Well, Blake Lively's kids and Ryan Reynolds' kids are her godchildren.

Not very Khaleesi of you.

Oh, and they're not talking anymore?

Yeah, she's like, hey man, what the fuck did you pull me into?

Blake Lively and T Swift don't talk anymore? No.

She didn't even invite him to her wedding.

Really?

She's like, hey, you got me embroiled in a controversy. I'm like the princess here.

Someone was going to take my fucking cell phone and they were going to be able to legally look at my fucking text messages and then talk about it in court.

No. Yeah.

I'm not godmother to anybody anymore.

How dare you?

Yeah.

Good for Taylor. Quite honestly. All right, so Sarah has a sit-down with a Christian. She says, this guy's terrifying. We don't see any of it, though.

And so she dumps him.

So she dumps him. We next sit down with John, who.

John with MS.

John with MS, who named his dog after the manga Berserk. And we talk about giving the kids a dose of faith in their childhood. Let's do this. The fray is fine. That's... something that we need to check off and get out of the way, right? Because a lot of people will hear that somebody's really obsessed with the fray And they went to a concert recently with the lesbian couple and it's their 12th show. Let's get that out of the way because that could be a deal breaker for some.

What are we doing talking about religion and children right now? Okay, we can calm down a little bit.

Well, I always say don't bring that up first three dates, but I am happy to see that some of these people are actually having real conversations because I am shocked some of these couples, like later on, I don't want to give spoilers away, literally have not talked about anything. And they're like, Hey, so what do you say? Let's get, you know, let's, let's make this happen. Like it's shocking.

They have no, they don't even know that they have siblings and they're ready to get married.

I think that I just had an epiphany about, um, John with MS. I think that he, I speaking doubling down on my wanting to meet his family. The fact that he just read Harry Potter last year, the fact that he's listening to the fray now in his 30s and going to concerts, I think he may have been raised in a very religious household, maybe a cult of some sort.

Yeah.

Because he has a sense of vibrato of someone who has recently gotten in shape.

Right.

Or found himself.

You're talking about a former fatty that just found himself.

And also has the chip on his shoulder of like, you've never fucking had to leave it. And I've gone through this journey. I also have MS. And you don't know that about me, but you will.

It's so crazy because, yeah, falling in love with the kind of surface level mellow emotion of the fray in your 30s is a little... Concerning.

Yeah.

Yeah. Because when I was like 14, I was like, this is speaking to me.

Rip this.

Right.

Yeah.

On LimeWire, put it in my car, and let's go, Mom. Drive me to the Galleria.

I don't know how. Mom! I don't know how someone says that with a serious face.

It's such a good point.

Yeah.

I don't know.

What am I into? I mean, on a Friday night, I'm getting in my car, roll down the window. I mean, fucking, if I'm being honest, Bryan Adams. I mean, have you heard his first album?

Right? Yeah. It's pretty crazy. So anyways, they're getting along like a house on fire. Now, then we get to the bulk and the fat white Blake. His words, not mine.

His words, not mine. He's a sea rat.

That's John Kennedy always gets me. Senator John Kennedy from Louisiana. Her words, not mine.

Let me ask you this. Am I wearing a hat that says stupid?

So good.

Is that right? Do I look like I'm wearing a shirt that says I'm a dummy?

He's the next one. They're going to roll in and just pull his hand on the table to just sign something. Can you give us a thumbs up, bitch?

Dying in the wheelchair jesus.

Uh okay so the balkan and the fat white blake sit down and he's been sailing around the world for the last two years and uh been throwing darts at women and he's found that sailing around the world on a hedonistic voyage of oceanic sexual exploration is not conducive to long-term relationships.

But One of those shores that he's parked that fucking boat in, it's been in Croatia.

Yep.

And you know... Oh, my God.

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm walking around.

Oh, he's like.

She.

Starts fanning herself and he's like, oh, I can feel this. Balkan women are fucking bad bitches.

Oh, my God.

Where did the Maury thing come from? It was like, like she was, what was going, this was like crazy. She was like, this is perfect. And then she goes, I can't stop thinking about Maury.

Well, here's, here's what's happening here. Um, she wants to get, she wants to get to the resort, Dylan.

Oh yeah.

Well, um, what he says, does she get to the resort?

No spoilers.

They like UFC.

No, no, excuse me. He says he likes UFC and that's when she's.

Like, well, Maury liked UFC.

And she's like, Oh my. And then he's like, what, what, what is, what's good? Are you on fire? Because you're, you're, you're, and then she just says, um, I know nothing about you, but I love you. And, um, then, um, he says that, uh, the, Oh, actually I think the only thing more insane than her on the show, was that he then said on national television that he dreams about being at his wedding and the DJ plays Love Story by Taylor Swift and he looks at his wife.

Right.

So.

It's so weird that like, he's a bouncer from Southie and he's like stumbled on this thing that feels like he's contrivedly proud of. Like, I'm going to make this my thing. I'm like.

Or, and, Are there women, a lot of women in Southie that this is working on?

It's kind of weird. No. All right. So Blake the Fat White and the Simpsons character.

The Simpsons character from Whoville. Or that woman that fucking Cody destroyed.

Right. but not Emily, which is what you said her name was.

I know. I'm taking that back.

I thought that Cody kind of beefs them up a bit.

Oh, Dylan, Dylan.

Yeah, he destroys their souls, crushes their self-esteem.

And then somehow they're on a show for 28,000 seasons. They're all still poor living in trailers. They have 36,000 kids. They all hate him. And also, um, he's not on the show anymore. It's still going. I've never watched an episode of the show and I, yeah, yeah. But she does look like one of them.

Yeah.

Yeah. Anyway, just Manjaro target.

They chat about, uh, living, uh, uh, in, Oh, in SoCal and opening breweries, uh, that Kabocha, whatever the fuck it is. That's just disgusting.

I agree. I don't like it.

It's not good. Um, he, especially the hard version of it. Like, uh, how did we, how did we do this?

Like new products, new products, new products.

Beer and vodka behind the bar. I don't need it.

It's very, whatever. Okay.

All right.

Well then, um, he asked her, he goes, Hey, this is pretty, this is pretty crazy question. He's like, Hey, what do you think about traveling around the world? Does that sound fucking awesome? She says, yeah. And he says, well, I.

Talk about somebody who just wants to make it to the resort. She's like, I just pick my laptop up and go. You don't, Erica.

Erica.

Erica.

You have to be in the office in Atlanta.

Three days a week. Yeah. Come on.

Well, then she shares that she's been married before. And he tells her, well, you can take my last name. They just say crazy things on this show.

OK.

OK.

Go ahead.

I was just going to say, I couldn't agree with you more. The whole Erica Carver thing, them being like, that's cool. My mouth was open. It was a gape.

Erica Carver is a great name.

I think so, too.

A lot of things. Carver is a solid fucking last name.

Yeah, it's a great last name. Here's the thing, though. This guy sucks. This guy fucking sucks. He's a sea rat on land trying to get a little fuel so he can go continue to be a sea rat.

Here's the thing. What about this guy? When we're on this show to fall in love and I think get married and have kids, he makes no fucking money. There's no future in him fucking making money.

And he is stridently fixed that there is going to be no change to his life, really.

He's out of town, I think, six or eight months a year.

Yeah.

And yet he will have multiple women vying to win him over.

The most important thing about this is that there is a wall between him and this. If there was no wall and these women could see that he was like relatively in shape, has a beard, they would be like, I don't even want kids anymore. I don't care about my family. I'll live in, in St.

Martin. That was the thing that was so heartbreaking. Cause Erica seems like, um, a sweet woman who made a mistake with her first marriage. And now she really does need to find somebody. And if she wants to start a family, we've got to do this. If this guy and her, if she wastes any more time on a fucking sea rat, I just feel for this. This is not the right person.

This is a weekend that you on vacation with the girls where you bang a guy on a Bodie owns 23.

This is perfect. Go do it.

Blake is a great guy for people to hook up with when you're on a bachelorette party and there's one person who is single. Blake is perfect for this. Blake, good job, Blake.

Stay there. He explains having been that. Being that.

Why are you... So if I have to ask you, hey, honey, quick question about the job that you don't really have. Do you have to fuck everybody on the boat? And your answer is, babe.

Sometimes it's kind of.

It's part of the job.

Yeah. Day charters get a little crazy.

I'm so sorry. I don't think it's going to work.

But they both brewed. They both distilled. They're both from San Diego or lived in San Diego. And I'm worried for her because I think she's going to say yes to this guy. Now, there's a lady that likes to make out in cars. Who is this?

I think this is where we meet Michaela. Michaela. She's pretty open to the process. I like her. She's not very judgy.

She seems great, honestly. She was the one, I think, when she was like, I mean, this is pretty cool because I don't date Hawkeyes normally.

I liked her.

She meets a former stripper who's now a beekeeper, and she also meets a cosplayer.

Yeah. We'll only meet those guys, I think, once.

I'm confused why we don't get more about I know that this is mass-produced. This is white bread, right? But let's talk to the guy who keeps bees now and used to strip. Let's not have conversations about the children that these two pod rats are never going to have.

Well, I have an idea for Netflix. Use the extended edition of the pods for an audience that wants that. I don't know if I want it, Dylan.

I think it has to be a little more produced. Like I said, we have to lock the door when Jax hears that he bounces in Southie. We must, when he says, what do I like to do for fun? I go to cons and I dress up as characters. Do not let her leave.

Right.

Say, we'll give you five grand in addition to whatever we don't pay you if you stay here and ask this.

I want to hear him say that he dresses up as Aaron Yeager. And I want her to go, who is that? And I want him to go, it's from Attack on Titan. I want her to say, what is that?

And then I want him to say, explain it. And I don't know who that is, but I want her to go make the sound.

Right. Why do you not want to see that? It's so good.

Now, guys, I don't think this is a spoiler, because I think it happens in episode two, and maybe we'll discuss it. But maybe it was episode three. This cast is starting to get a little loose with the saying who and what they look like.

The physical tips.

I do not like that. Some people say I look like Travis Kelsey.

I have good teeth. I'm not a blonde.

You're not supposed to be doing that.

I don't like that. It's not quite as egregious as could I hold you on my shoulders at a concert, which I think is the greatest question.

Let me ask you this. If it was a concert and we couldn't see, and you said, can I sit on your shoulders? Could I hold your weight?

How many songs do you think we'd get through?

What?

You don't remember that?

I don't know. Me as deep D.

Oh, yeah, deep D.

Well, how much do you lift?

Right, yeah. Better question. What do you squat?

Okay, so it's John and Sarah. Yeah, this is when we get to the.

Why is Taylor Swift discussed so much on this fucking show?

Because guys have been probably taught, bring this up, it will ingratiate you with girls, and it does the exact opposite. They sniff you out as a fucking fraud.

Let me say one thing. If you're a girl and you get excited about a guy's like, I'm serious. I mean this. If you get excited about it, he is gay or it is fraudulent. Either way, don't invest in this man.

No.

It should be your thing with your friends.

And you have to do EMDR or something because that should not be.

He's not safe.

Right.

You don't want him in the morning when the concert tickets are released saying, Like waiting for the tickets.

Such a good point.

That's problematic for you.

You want to see him stressed and sweating because Ticketmaster isn't loading on his phone. Tell me that you will ever have sex again after you see him crying.

It's disgusting. What you want is.

It's not fucking loading. Yeah. You want the guy that the tickets are released and he doesn't even know what year she's going on tour.

He doesn't know her.

He's gone. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's disgusting, but he's scratching his ass in the bathroom and that's better.

At this point, Sarah has met two dudes, Maury and Joe. And she's kind of, I think she's leaning towards Joe.

John with MS.

John with MS. Sorry, that's why I got to call him John with MS.

Please do.

Pat, just do.

By the way, the audience is like, that's getting old, Pat.

No, it's not.

He has MS, and I need to understand who he is. All right, Sarah gets with Maury. They chat about movies.

You know who else has MS? Who? Selma Blair.

And she dated one of our friends who dumped her cause she's a drunk nut.

Did she bite him too?

I'll have to ask him.

Could you really? Because I have to just briefly, um, you.

Want to text them?

She attacked upwards of seven people.

She tried to open a.

Door, text him, Dylan, text him and ask him if she ever bit him.

No, I'm not texting him.

Well, you will later because we must know Dylan. She, okay.

All right.

I'll text him.

Uh, Okay. So, um, they chat about movies. I guess this is like a good common ground for first dates or whatever, you know, he's, he loves the fucking remember the Titans movie because his dad loved it. Also, um, it's a movie that solved racism in eight weeks. I love those kinds of movies. Uh, and then they talk about their type and this is where Maury, uh, shines.

He has some good moments on this date. I remember cause before this, he just came off as a kind of a salesman and, talks over her and, blabs on too much. I think he came off good here. And then this is the date with Benita and Maury. She tells him she can't stop thinking about him. And she wants to have a serious conversation with him. And then she gives him, she does like a 21 question kind of.

Thing with him. Yeah. Is this where she love bombs him?

Well, he answers her question and then she says she doesn't trust him yet. And then he quotes something from Ridley Scott's famous film, Gladiator. And I believe he tells her he'll fuck her later. But just the right amount.

What's the line from Gladiator?

It was from Marcus Aurelius. But I haven't heard someone quote the Gladiator in quite some time.

Yeah, no, he died early in the movie.

Well, no, he dies at the end of the movie. No. Oh, he dies at the beginning of the movie? I thought that was the gladiator.

No, Marcus Aurelius, I think, is the emperor. Oh, really?

Oh, that's the old man?

And he likes gladiator, Maximus.

And that's, oh, and then Julia.

It's Joaquin's dad, right?

It's Joaquin's dad.

And then dad goes, Joaquin goes, I loved you. And he chokes and he kills him.

Oh, that's right. Okay, well, he quotes him.

Yeah.

He also, I want to back up a tiny bit to another great film, a fixture in our childhoods.

Remember the Titans?

Remember the Titans. So Maury says that everyone should watch it.

Every freshman class.

Every freshman class should watch it because it teaches you teamwork, It's an inspiring story. And then he proceeds to blatantly rip off a Shane Gillis bit about how they fixed racism in like eight weeks. And all you have to do to fix racism is be good at football. He, yeah, I mean, he's just, this is a chronically online person, I think. Yes. Yeah. A lot of Taylor Swift information. Uh, getting bit. Yeah. Anyways. Um, remember the Titans is great.

Great film. Great, great cast. I mean, look that up and you'll see. So you're like, Oh my God, wait, what? Um, just date someone from Southie. You don't ever have to listen to any fucking Easter egg ever again. You can crush beers on your heads together. You can beat each other up when you have too much whiskey and no one will press charges. And I'm being serious. You don't need to be fucking who these people want you to be.

Right. No.

But I think, thank God, similarly to Blake, there is a wall between this woman and these men because if they could see that she looked like an Albanian sex vixen, they'd.

Be like, I'm marrying her. Speaking of Denzel, once again, they'd be riddled with bullets. Denzel, Gosling, Anthony Mackie.

Oh, Hayden Panettiere.

Hayden Panettiere. Avon Barksdale. Oh my God.

Incredible.

Crazy. All right. So we move on to, he talks about how there looks here and he brings up Shane Gillis.

Oh, that's right.

Talking about being fat.

An ugly fat bastard.

Right.

Blake though is her other lover and she, likes him, but she has reservations. One reservation, he is a sea rat and he wants to be out on the water. He lives on a ship. We talk about America and how no one has any choice but to love how dumb we are. And then they talk about banging each other.

But she says her vagina is very special. She doesn't just let anyone see it or whatever.

Yeah. Erica, on the other hand, is a little bit more free with her sexuality. She talks to Blake about.

Favorite body parts.

Being a gymnast, being extremely flexible, and how that might intertwine with his talents of ropes and knots. Yes, yes. These two crazy kids who aren't kids at all. Let's get to John with MS and Sarah. Now, he's got some dirt to shovel. He said that she was second best. Oh, I forgot. Or second worst, I think.

So she had heard this as he was walking out. Yep. Okay. So when she comes in here, I'm a little worried about John with MS. She comes in and plays some head games, right? When she walks into the pod, didn't she?

They both play head games.

Well, she calls him by a different name.

Uh-huh.

I had a girl do that one time while we were having sex. She's like, oh, John, with MS. She said that. It's crazy. It was like 20 years ago.

That's crazy.

Yeah, yeah.

It's like, wow. And then she confronts him about overhearing him say she was on his bottom two or something. And then he admits to saying it, which I was shocked that he did. I thought he was going to lie. But now he says his views have changed now that he likes her.

Yeah.

And then he shares that his parents made him look like a pussy in high school.

I want to talk about this story really quickly. Um, you'll recall the yearbook fiasco story. This was, I think the worst story I've ever heard in my life. Period. Full stop. As told as a story, someone telling like an anecdote about like just any, like a story. It's, I think it's the worst one I've ever heard. He says there was this fiasco when I was in high school.

And you could buy out full pages in the yearbook. And my parents bought a page. And on that page, they said, we love you. You are such a strong and sensitive boy. And he said, I was like mortified. I was like, what the fuck are you guys doing? You're making me look like a pussy? And that's the end of the story.

Right. So, okay.

And also we must keep in mind, he's trying to be attractive with this.

Yeah.

What?

This is the type of thing. We have pictures of Dylan in a, as a child that you actually should post, um, all over my mother's home. And we call it gay banker because he looks like that's where this lives. This lives like when you're home randomly and you're like, what the fuck is that? And you're like, yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

Not here.

Not here.

This is not to ingratiate yourself to a female.

Right.

You're making yourself look worse because you're still affected by this, you pussy.

Right. Who could possibly give a fuck about that sweet thing that your parents did? Yeah. Okay. Okay. So we get to him being hit by a car. He's had a tough road to home.

That's why he wears glasses now.

Yeah.

But people call him Clark Kent in the men's quarter. So wink, wink.

Get it?

It might be good looking, so.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. We got to chill with the.

Also, there's a community bathroom, and some of the guys call me Clark Kent with a huge hog with MS, John. It's a little convoluted, but.

Do you remember that story you were telling earlier where he said he was banging a lady, and she said, oh, John with MS? Like, wow.

20 years ago. Time travels, too. It's crazy.

She said that. Like, wow. So we get to Maury.

Well, doesn't he tell her that he has MS here?

Yeah.

And he's like, I mean, what do you think? This was kind of crazy. This is like somebody being like, what do you think about people who file their taxes a few days late? And it's like, I don't know, like, I guess, whatever, do it on time. And then it's like, okay, cool. Well, I have a record, and I've killed three people.

Okay.

Okay, like, I don't think we needed to even discuss the glasses, John.

Well, right. So it's like, yeah, so... Yeah, MS is a bigger deal than the frayed retina. But still, you know, he's... What if she had been like, oh my.

What if that was the Jackson selfie? Like, I don't even go... What if she threw her notebook down and got.

What did he.

The glass.

It was so.

I also will say.

Well, the MS too, though. Like, what is she... Is she going to do what Jax did and just start puking and go and get away from me?

It was really her handling of that, I will say. was very sweet. I don't think he deserves it. Um, because I think he might be meaner than her, but like her sister seems lovely. She's just like letting her fucking blind husband walk into shit.

Let me tell you some of our Boston girls. They'll take care of you till you're 99 years old and you're dead. Like that's a trait.

She seems great.

He's cold. Yeah.

He's actually kind of creepy. Cause you, you died when you were 97 and yeah, They'll do it. They're sitting you up in the living room. They're putting the TV on. It's like, you know. Eat it. It's your favorite.

I've seen that too.

Okay. Oh, John with MS. Okay.

Okay.

Are we going with Maury and Sarah?

Maury and Sarah. This fucking Albanian girl is fucking love bombing me. I don't know what the fuck's going on. It's fucking nuts.

This was a crazy attempt at a flex. He tells her, hey, I got a girl in here. She fucking loves me, man. Yeah.

Bad move.

But he's trying to create some kind of.

Demand.

Demand with competition. That's right, Del. You've read the book. It should have worked or might have worked. But yeah.

What are you going to do? Benita and Maury, marrying the daughter of an Albanian crime lord would be an insane life, a really insane life. But this ends really, really quickly. And he says, you know, there's a lot of great guys here. I think that you should probably focus on them. And what I would say to Maury is you got to be careful because she's going to go back. to the quarters and she's going to talk about how indelicate you were with this whole thing.

Now, where are we? We're moving to episode two.

We're moving to episode two here. And we start with Michaela who loves her job too much for this other guy. Now this is Rob, I believe. And this is the moment where I thought that Rob, um, really needed to calm down in like a major way.

Um, the only note I have about Rob is in all caps, Rob, red flag calm the fuck down yeah and i don't know what that's referencing but i'm happy you said it well i'll say this.

This is what it's referencing.

Okay so really okay so they talk work and family balance he's in tech he was engaged.

Here you be a woman and you tell me that you're obsessed with your.

Career i look i yeah i love my job and right now i mean we all love our jobs you know So I usually just get up, I get a matcha and I just go to work.

That's all you do? Like you love your job so much that you just kind of, are you addicted to your job?

I mean, right now that's my focus.

So what if you had kids? Like would your job be more important?

I forgot he did that to her.

Okay.

I'm sorry.

Hey dude, shut the fuck up.

Okay.

But to be fair. I forgot he did that to her.

Next line. Another red flag is someone openly being like, you know, family is second to my career of franchising women's boutiques, but I've always wanted to have a family.

Wait, she said that?

She said that. Yeah.

And then a second later.

I think she just meant like more of my attention is paid to that.

It was totally fair for her to also not feel that way and say, I don't fucking want kids. They're dumb. But he says, well, you're a dumb bitch. You should want to only be a mom and my servant. And then she was like, yeah, that was kind of funny that you like came at me. That was kind of crazy.

I was like, wait, like I did.

That was so nuts. I would have hit you, but there's a wall here.

Yeah. All right. So. she a great question what kind of dad would you be there's a lot of there are a lot of sentences questions comments where you just go what is someone how is supposed to now a tall one i get that back over the net how what am i supposed to do all right.

So this is a spoiler not a spoiler this conversation that is had in this room this very conversation will come.

Up later okay what kind of dad are you.

No, this kind of- Career thing?

Kids?

This stepping over each other in this kind of intense conversation.

Oh, this red flag calm the fuck down?

Mm-hmm. Okay.

All right, so- Rob and Diana.

There's no one named Diana on this show.

There is. The most Italian person on the show.

She is the most Italian. She actually kind of looks like Vanessa and a little bit of Zendaya. Oh, yeah.

Oh, no. Yeah.

She features very prominent later.

Okay, this is Sinatra. Okay. Can I say, I remember her and this, I was doing something in another room and I walked back in because when she was like, I like to drink wine and listen to Frank Sinatra. And he was like, nobody fucking likes to do that. I was like, oh my God, who? Oh, it's that guy again.

Cause it was still him.

Right.

It's still so intense. Like pre-workout. Um, he, they talk about their favorite Sinatra songs. He goes, what are you doing on a Sunday night? She goes, I'm going shopping and I'm meal prepping the entire day. It's like, whoa.

Listen to little Frank drinking a little wine.

It's crazy how wasteful you are with your weekends when you don't have children. You don't know what is coming. Do everything. Do it all. Don't meal prep.

Or do nothing. Did you say that? Do nothing?

No, I said don't meal prep. When you're a young person, you can't. go shopping in the morning and then meal prep all Sunday. It's just like, there's so much more.

My wife and I were together for seven years before we had children and we cannot recount what the fuck we did on Saturday or Sunday. Not a single goddamn fucking weekend.

That's how it should be.

And now if I get two hours, it is, I'm like, I have two hours. I am going to make everything I can out of this.

Yeah.

So I'm just living life. But, The reason I bring it up is because they're talking about Sinatra songs and she goes, what's your favorite? And he says, my way.

And did he say my way?

No, he said it's best of the best.

Yeah.

It's not simply the best, but it sounds like that.

Yeah.

It was actually a song that's not one of his most popular, actually.

She said My Way or something.

No, she said Luck Be a Lady, and she laughed out loud.

Luck be a lady tonight.

Somebody brings up My Way. I think it's him. He brings up My Way.

Luck be a lady tonight.

Maybe it was playing in the background or something.

Oh, they played it, yeah.

Maybe. The reason I bring it up is because my wife... you know, my wife is so funny. She makes me laugh all the fucking time. But I think one of the funniest, like she came up with an actual bit about my way being the song that's almost exclusively played at funerals for assholes.

I did it my way.

Yeah. Your children owe back taxes.

Yeah.

You, um, you abandoned your three children. You fucking were glued to a bar for 30 years.

You beat our mom.

You hit our mom twice.

Yeah. You were at the racetrack every Sunday.

You gave away both of our dogs.

I did it my way. By the way, no one's at your funeral. There's a boom box with a cassette tape. It's playing that song. You fucking loser.

Yep.

Oh, I did it. Yeah. I love that.

That's Sinatra too. Like I did it my way. Okay. So you fucking killed people.

No, you can't run them over Frank. Not you cannot.

I'm doing it my way. Listen, sweetie, I'll do it. Whatever I want.

No, she's not.

And you'll shut up. Yeah, bitch. She's not.

Yeah. You too.

Who the fuck are you?

Shut up. Frank, she's not consenting. I'm going to do it my way.

I just, I haven't laughed this hard in such a long time.

Okay.

So we get to a lady named Wilney. Wilney. Yep.

How did I spell it? Will dash knee. K N E E.

Wilney.

Okay. Okay, you went Native American with it. But she dates grungy whites, and because she's dating black guys, currently she knows that the process is working. Hold off on rendering any kind of judgment like that, because I think that you'll see at the end of this it did not work.

Well, or will it?

Hmm.

They talk about adopting a kid from a third world country. Am I right?

Yeah.

But she'd like to feel pregnant. And then they discuss what their life will be like when they have kids and their daughter brings home their first boyfriend. Feel free to call me an asshole, but I think this time could be used discussing topics more essential like, have you ever lived with someone?

Well, that's what I was saying about the religion conversation that they had earlier, like between, I can't remember and whoever.

But how do you feel AI might affect your career?

A cart before the horse. Right. Right.

Well, so something else that was worth mentioning here was that she said, it's the most patriotic thing that we can do. And I would like to do this. And he says, without saying anything, that is off the table, baby. And she doesn't get it. And he literally, I'm not kidding. He says, how cool would it be for our kids to have her jeans?

I was like, wait, wait, wait.

No.

And she was like, yeah, they'd be so cute. I'm cute.

And it's so crazy because he uses like that Dikembe Mutombo smackdown of that insane idea.

No.

To him.

He said, listen, I'm going to keep getting my cinnamon raisal.

Oh, no.

Oh, no. Oh, sit down for a sec. So fucking crazy. OK, so he says, I'm hideous, which is an interesting tactic when you're trying to get to the resorts. And then they do speak on Dunkin' Donuts for quite a bit.

Dunkin'. What?

It's not donuts.

Oh, OK. They don't want to just be known for donuts anymore.

Well. Dunkin' is disgusting.

It's true.

Is it not?

I'm saying this from a perspective of somebody who loves donuts a lot. They are bad.

Okay?

They're bad donuts. You're a big donut person. I will eat comfortably six Krispy Kremes before I'm like, I'm going to get sick tomorrow.

I think that's part of their new story is that it's more about the coffee and their other offerings.

That's great. Good for them.

It's hard to mass produce that shit.

I can't go near donuts. And I told you that CeCe was fucking around with that. What's it called? I forget. Throwaway. To go. To go. throwaway order. It's like restaurants have like all this food that they're going to throw out. So people come and they pay them like pennies on the dollar to get it. Cece goes, I'm going to a donut shop. They have a fucking throwaway trash order.

And I'm like, you don't need to go do that. She's like, no, I'm just going to check it out. She comes home with 50 fucking donuts. And I'm just like, get this out of the house. I ate an entire bear claw. It was the most delicious thing I've ever eaten. All right. So we get to There's a small moment where he's talking to her about... This conversation was actually really, really hilarious because he swats away her third world adoption. Yep. Wilson. Yeah.

And everybody knows that actually the most patriotic thing you can do is stack up a bunch of Bud Light cans with a trans activist face on them and shoot them all.

Duh.

That's way more patriotic. But he says... It was just a throwaway, but he says, I would want to lay my head on your lap. And I thought that she thought that was a little gay.

Yeah.

So what I said.

She was like, oh, yeah.

But also she was like, I've never had that before.

Yes.

And I was like, I think this is Simms. trying to sex through a wall.

Right.

And it's going about as good as if we made Sims Autonomous and said, here's a wall, try to sex through it. And they said, I would put my arm behind you. And you'd be like, they're going to get there in a couple years.

Yeah, give it some time to render. Okay, so Maury and the Alpha. He talks to Sarah about what?

I believe we still have Millane and Wilson. They talk about, oh, you already went to Dunkin'. Sorry. All right, yes. Well, first.

That was Melanie and Millane. Millane, sorry. I'm sorry. Okay. We have to talk about this bagel order, too. It's a raisin bagel with strawberry ice cream?

What happened?

Strawberry cream cheese.

All right.

Men's quarters.

Yeah.

Maury's like a true Irish drunk bug. He shoots his fucking mouth off. And 40 years ago, this mouth would have gotten his fucking dead. He would have got a dead canary in his fucking mouth. Do you know what that means?

No.

When you shot your mouth off with like back in the day, selfie or just shot your mouth off back in the day. They'd kill you, and they'd put a dead, stale canary in your mouth. It meant you talked too much.

Who killed you? That's not the mob.

People. You're like, this guy won't shut up. Anyway, now it's accepted.

Are you saying they were just roving dead?

That were like, like a guy like him is like, he talks, he talks too much. Like he'd be spreading information. He like people like him talk too much. They're like, they're dangerous.

So it's the mob.

So it's the mob.

It's not just like, just like anybody quiet.

I'm going to kill you and put a canary in your mouth.

Canary is at the canary in the coal mine. It's like a warning. Don't do that.

Yeah. It's like, like a guy's like them.

I want to watch The Departed tonight. I could just watch it. I could watch it a thousand more times.

It's such a good film.

Somebody really did bring up a good point about it, though, that Jack Nicholson's crime genius character is confused about who the rat is when he has three people who can't speak English and one guy who just got out of the police cab. He's like, I ain't got no clue who this is.

I've never seen that movie. I have to see it.

Oh, Pat. You do.

One of the greats.

All right, I gotta tell my wife to say that.

All right, Maury is- And Sarah. Goes into Sarah. He goes, I love you so much that if the guys in there wanted to come in here and talk to you, I'd beat the fucking shit out of all of them. And she's like, okay, that's kind of gross and intense.

By the way- This is what's crazy about the show. They throw out, mainly it's the guys, sometimes the girls. They throw out scenarios. They're implausible. In what world do 18 guys walk in this room to try and kill her?

Right. We brought up The Odyssey an hour and a half ago. What are we talking about?

He's like, Sarah, have you ever seen The Odyssey? And she says, no, but I read it in high school. And he's like, OK, that'll work. But it was absolutely, he would not let it go because she was just like, yeah, that's fucking strange that you have said that. But he was like, oh, so if somebody was going to mug you, you want fucking a guy in a polo over me.

I'm the type of guy that if, you know, you give me your dog and I don't know, 80 lesbians with dragons trying to attack me, I'll fucking kill them. Okay.

There's no fucking way. There's no way he would have any success against 80 lesbians on dragons. Dragons are absurdly powerful creatures, as are lesbians.

Yeah, he couldn't.

So the combo there is just, it's insurmountable.

They would also hate him.

Okay, so she breaks up with him. But not before kind of doing a little Freudian work on him going, I know you love your father, but I think that he's poisoned you.

When she started doing the therapy session, I thought she was trying to get to know him better.

And then it was like a real, it was a good deed. She just left him with a parting thing to think on.

Just good. I really, unfortunately don't want her with anyone on this show. I think she's just kind of fucking nice and works at a hospital and like wants to help people. And it's weird, but that's her.

Yeah.

Um, I thought she was a nurse initially, which I think would be a great job for her. She is the person that, that I believe you call and she works for the healthcare that tells you, um, Oh, you think your insurance is going.

To pay for this?

Fuck you.

She's in billing.

Yes.

Okay.

And then she, that's why she works at the bar so that she can fucking forget.

Right.

Good for her.

Those nightmares.

Yeah. Good for her. Oh, I'm sorry. It's not covered.

She lets him say that like....

Really?

But I've been paying for it all year.

I know. Yeah.

So.

Call this number. The number is 000- Is that right?

I'll tell you what. Negotiating with a hospital is much easier than negotiating with insurance because the people, they are so unflappable. At the hospital, you can be like... I know you said it's $ 50, 000. I have $ 1, 200. Okay. Well, maybe we can roll you over into some kind of benefit plan. Yeah. All right. So for some reason, she has chosen John and he tells her about MS and she says that she has pain in her family too and that her brother is blind. And he goes on to say that When he was diagnosed with MS, he had an aversion to medicine.

Oh, this is the COVID thing.

To treat. Well, it stems from COVID.

Well, it's capitalism trying to take over.

Sure.

His words, not mine.

So MS is a very, very serious thing. But the beauty about it is that Western medicine is really, really advanced. And really for a whole cornucopia, a whole smattering of disorders and problems with your body, there's these great fixes.

Yeah. The scientists sometimes look at the diseases and say, we have stuff that could make this better for you.

Right.

Then you can take it or you don't have to.

Right.

Um, but he will, uh, he is taking it, which is good.

That's great.

Um, but he was not happy that he was going to lose his job if he did not get that job.

Right. That's right.

Yeah. That's about how it went down.

So then they talk about abortion. Yeah.

Yeah. And then politics come up, I think. And look, uh, I think they had a respectful conversation about this if we're being serious for a moment.

Being serious for actually a moment, I marveled at... I mean, obviously, I like her.

I thought it was fucking insane.

I thought it was crazy how well she is able to field these men and not in a way that's full of malice, take their idiot, fucked up, stupid, ignorant, shit-fucked pieces of dumb opinions and say... I'm obviously more educated than you on the subject. You small, dumb, ignorant fuck. Let me phrase it in a way that you might digest, although we know he will not. I do not want them married and I want her to meet his family and then leave him.

There's a moment where he goes, you know, like an 11 year old like gets an abortion and she decides like in six months, like I don't want it. Like that's not appropriate. And she's like, yeah, no, people use these like very kind of absurd scenarios to outlie and kind of paint the whole issue. And he goes, yeah, no, I totally agree. I hated that scenario I just brought up.

I don't even know why I said that. Not one person here, Sarah.

Sarah, no.

The fray, Sarah.

Sarah, the fray.

Rob, the nomad. Well, John, they talk about lemurs, and then I think they get engaged. But not before Ania and.

No, they share that they're each other's number one at this point. I don't think they get engaged. They don't.

Ania and Cam have a silent rave to a T-Pain song. This is a horrendously boring moment. And it's like, again, let's go back to that guy talking about Aaron Yeager. Right. Okay.

And let's watch him for nine minutes and skip Everything that is happening here.

So Benita and Blake are, they're kind of getting closer together. And I think that Blake is the best suited for Benita in this gauntlet. Because if shit hits the fan, he can get out. He's got a lot of nautical routes away from this life. And that's exactly what you're going to need if you shack up with Benita.

I think that her brothers and father might be the type of people that obviously you can't do anything wrong to her, but I think that they might look at all of her boyfriends and be like, dude, we don't fucking blame you if you just fucking go. We know her. We love her, but we got it. Don't worry about it.

Has she thrown shit at you?

Does she fucking do.

That to you guys too?

Yeah.

And that's, you know, we'll see. Hopefully not.

I believe we end the episode with.

Benita and Blake.

Yeah, Benita and Blake have a pod rat sat off.

She tells him she's into him. And if he's heard she's... Wait, she said she's into other dudes. It's been misconstrued. Because, you know, she's playing two dudes, right? Because she wants to go to the resort.

Well, she also asks him if he knows a lot about the conflict in Kosovo.

That's right. The war zone where people dropped bombs on her. Yeah. So what do you think? Do you want to get engaged? Blake responds to Benita's story. He says her house being bombed and then those soldiers holding her and her family at gunpoint while they burned her house down with a story about his mom having a stroke.

That she did fully recover from, which is remarkable, and I am good for her.

It's beautiful, but it's a little bit like telling an amputee that you got a bad paper cut one time.

Now, one of those stories is an event that Jason Statham could have started, and the other is everyday life.

Right.

Right.

One is a remarkably traumatic experience. And the other one is a traumatic experience.

Well, I was going to say, but she doesn't tell him how dumb he is and how dumb that comparison was because it's either going back to working at a reception desk at a plastic surgeon's office, which I think she probably does, or getting this fucking dumbass to say yes so she can go to the resort.

She's going to go to the resort. I believe in her. I believe in her cunning. Get in the comments. Let us know what you thought about the episode. We love you guys very much. We will be back shortly with episode a couple of episodes for you for three four and five and then join us for the rest of the season at patreon.com slash another podcast network along with our recap of the greatest glam kitten breakdown of real housewives of salt lake uh i'm dylan saying goodbye pat say goodbye later dudes.

Bye Some people want to fill the world.

With silly love songs. And what's wrong with that?

I'd like to know. Because here I go.

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