Patreon Preview | What's in the Box? | Love is Blind S11 E3

0:02 A yacht? By the way, this is- Can you play that cuckoo clock sound again? This is what I love about this show and casting, because obviously they go through an interview process and application process. Right. And they, extensive questions. And when they, they must ask like people like, on the application, what, Like, how much do you make? Where do you see yourself in 10 years? And, like, the producer walks over, like, Blake, I see here you wrote down you don't care about money. When you wrote that down, were you serious about that? You'd think that people would have had enough of silly love songs But I.

0:45 Look around me and I see.

0:48 It isn't so.

0:51 Hi, hello, and welcome to the Patreon exclusive recap of Netflix's Love is Blind. I'm Dylan. That is my sister, Ruby.

0:57 Hi, Jill.

0:59 And I went to you first because there's a little bit of a twist today. Patty is clerical as fuck right now, and he has his laptop out. He is reading his notes off of said device. I've never seen it. In my entire time, my entire tenure with Patty.

1:18 Look, I'm all about- He doesn't know how to use it. I am all about slowing down this AI robots taking over human jobs. For sure, for sure. I really am, because I'm a blue collar schlub, okay? I go over to Staples. I said, I ran out of ink. I always like to read off my notes.

1:33 You're an analog cat.

1:34 There's about five Staples employees running around, opening boxes, doing everything, but helping people kind of looking for someone to help them. I need help with this ink cartridge business, which is quite the racket.

1:49 Can I just say?

1:50 Yes, you can.

1:51 There is no difference between DeBeers and Hewlett Packard.

1:57 No.

1:58 It is a.

2:00 Racket.

2:02 It is a proprietary manipulation of supply and demand. HP is not. A blood diamond company.

2:10 Go ahead.

2:11 I did the math, by the way. The price of that little dollop of ink, if you put that in gasoline terms, I am literally paying $ 4, 000 for that.

2:21 Have you spoken here?

2:22 Yeah, go ahead. So anyway, I find an employee who's just, I guess, opening some cardboard boxes to put out inventory. Guy or girl? Guy. I said, can you help me find this ink? And I tell him the name of the printer. He goes, yeah. He goes, go down that aisle and then turn to your right. And then it should be like 68 or something. I'm like, oh. And then he walks down as he sees me struggling.

2:45 Yeah.

2:46 And he goes, it's in that family right there. It's that family.

2:49 And I go, oh.

2:50 And he just pulls one off the rack. He goes, it's this one. I go, okay, thanks. And I go through, buy it, blah, blah, blah. It's 40-something bucks. Get home, spend an hour trying to understand why my printer will not read this thing. It's not the family.

3:02 It's the wrong family.

3:03 It's the wrong family.

3:04 It was the Mackisons. You needed the Smiths.

3:06 He sold me the wrong fucking ink cartridge. He ate up an hour of my time. He could have spent, what? 45 more seconds. Give me the right. I'm sorry.

3:15 I'm the problem with this is you go back robots. You go back to Staples, right? And you want to, you know, hash it out with this guy. He's actually overdosed on fentanyl. He's standing outside of the, well, he's not standing. He's laying outside of the, and that's the tragedy of Staples. Some of the most dispensable people on the planet work there. So I think he did it on purpose.

3:33 Quite frankly, this is what I want to do.

3:35 Los Angeles, Staples employees. Really? Sorry, everybody. We love you.

3:40 Everything from coast to coast. Between us, keep your jobs. Robots should not replace you. But where we start with the robots is all the people that don't give a fuck about their blue collar jobs, which is New York City and Los Angeles. We replace you first with robots.

3:53 For sure.

3:54 Okay.

3:55 I am behind that. I would like to say if I recently went to that Staples to buy box cutters.

4:04 Yeah.

4:05 And I was told by the man, we don't sell those anymore.

4:07 It's illegal.

4:10 And I said, because I was a little too high, why? And he said, because people were coming into this Staples next to Carney's and the old Bed Bath & Beyond, getting them and then going to the underpasses and committing violent crimes. So we can't sell them anymore here.

4:27 It's a cheap weapon.

4:28 It's a very, very cheap weapon. And the problem is when you buy blades for a shaver, it's a very cumbersome attack. You have to go and you have to kind of slice horizontally and you have to really nick a perfect wound and it's just not a good.

4:44 It's hard to do.

4:45 Sorry about your experience, Pat.

4:47 Yeah, sorry. So listen, we are here to break down....

4:53 Episode three.

4:54 And Staples is not your kind of place, so you can't navigate that without any.

4:59 Oh, they've diversified. I go there a lot because it's Party City now. I know.

5:04 I saw that.

5:05 So sad.

5:06 I saw that.

5:07 Yeah, you can't make a lot of money just selling computers and paper. Office chairs.

5:12 But also, Party City, how are you still.

5:17 They're not.

5:18 I guess they're in Staples.

5:21 Party City has a very robust balloon division of its business that I think makes a lot of money.

5:27 Oh, you're right. It's not just for Halloween.

5:28 It's party.

5:29 Duh. Spirit Halloween is the one I'm thinking of. I don't get how it works.

5:34 Well, it's a seasonal business. It's a lot like apple cider donuts.

5:38 I had a business idea called Seasons. And every month, in America, we've created holidays to kind of keep the economy going. You've got to blow about $ 150 every month on some stupid holiday we created. This business, which would be brick and mortar called Seasons, is your store. You go in there. And it caters to every season.

5:59 Oh, I love that.

6:00 Yeah. Seasons.

6:01 And if you're confused about why we've spent five minutes, not talking about love is blind. I can't do anything to alleviate that. Okay.

6:09 I can get us started.

6:10 We're here to talk about love is blind. We're going to be covering episode three today.

6:15 And, um, Oh, by the way, thank you for all the new people that came behind.

6:18 Hey, what's going on?

6:20 They obviously loved what they heard with episode one and two, and they decided to join us with the cool kids.

6:25 Shout out. Um, uh, I don't know if I want to do my rant on production now, or if we could leave that for episodes four and five.

6:38 Yeah, because there's nothing there for four and five, except for that wonderful conclusion of episode four where we're poor Stewie.

6:45 Yeah, poor Stew. I am going to save my rant, but I will tease that... I'm going to be writing an email to Kinetic Productions.

6:58 Oh, no.

7:01 These people are some of the most grossly incompetent. Just fucking losers. The people that produce this show are fucking losers. You're all dorks. You're incompetent. I'm going to save it.

7:13 Go ahead.

7:14 Okay. I'm enjoying this season. I think it's just crazy. I think it's, I'm telling you, maybe it's just because it's from my city.

7:24 I would like to say, I want you to continue. And I'm pointing at my brother right now. I want him to stop what he's doing because he's making you feel like you have to justify your, you don't, you continue. And I don't know how I feel yet. I am sitting right here on a cliff and I'm going to shove myself off one direction probably after you guys convince.

7:43 Me if it's good or bad. Ruby, I appreciate your support. Okay, what we have right now is a very diverse group of couples. Some are absolutely insane. We have Wilney and Wilson. That was kind of, I'd say that was- Snoozefest? Very boring. We didn't even see the workup to how these two may have found each other. I think it was just a who's left kind of situation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then we have Sarah and John with MS. Yeah.

8:12 And I wanted to say I was pretty high last night going to sleep. And when I get really, really high, like I stay awake before the edibles are supposed to put me to sleep.

8:25 You know that?

8:26 That's the worst.

8:27 Wake window. Yeah.

8:29 It was a tormented wake window of anxiety. Should we lay off John from MS?

8:33 You mean stop saying that name?

8:35 Yeah, John with MS. Because nobody else is John, and no one else has MS, so I think we can just call him John.

8:41 No one else has MS.

8:42 Yeah, not on the show.

8:43 We don't know that.

8:45 Well, just not on the show. We'll call him John.

8:46 Yeah, let's call him John.

8:48 Fair enough.

8:48 Yeah.

8:49 We have Blake and Emily. By the way, someone picked up on that I think Emily looks like the Simpsons. Okay. Okay. Should I lay off on that?

8:58 No, that's fine.

8:59 Okay. We will lay off calling her Emily and we will be calling her Erica.

9:03 Erica, forgive me. That's okay. Forgive me, forgive me. And so we have Blake and Erica.

9:08 Yeah.

9:09 And then we have, God damn it. Why am I forgetting her? God damn it.

9:14 I'll tell you why.

9:14 Rob and- I'll tell you why. Michaela. It's because she's boring.

9:18 None of the interesting people made it out of the pots. That's why you can't remember these fucking couples.

9:26 Look, I'm really excited for barbecue people time. Me too.

9:29 Get me there next episode. They're not going to. No, they won't.

9:35 I'm enjoying the season. I thought that we just scratched the surface at the resort. It just seemed like it just was them kind of getting to... reacquaint themselves with each other. Cuddles. Cuddles. And then we get to wake up the next morning to see who went to pound town. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll see. But I love it. Can't wait for episode six.

9:53 You have me on the edge of my seat. You think that people would have had enough of silly love songs. But I look around me and I see it isn't so.