Dig DeepXYZ: Pool Parties and Punishments

Welcome to desperately devoted.

Think of us as your favorite neighbors as we chat about life and relationships, all.

While we revisit the iconic show Desperate Housewives together.

I'm Terry Hatcher, I'm Andrea Bowen.

And I'm Emerson Tani. Well, let's dive into the deep end of this pool. We are here for X y Z and we are talking about pool parties, high school parties, high school relationship.

High school pool parties and all of.

The weird questions of body image and judgment and all of that that that brings up.

Can I just flag something right away? And maybe I'm in the minority here, but I don't think I am. I assume most pool parties take place during the day.

A nighttime pool party is borderline psychotic.

It's so weird. It's so weird for this teenage pool party to be at nighttime.

Really, because I have pool parties at nighttime. You're an adult, Well, yeah, that's true. I have a pool when I was a young kid.

I feel like you're just you know, feeding into like nighttime vibes. Everyone's in a swimsuit, you know, you're it's it's kind.

Of yeah, I have to say. My one image, and it's a pop culture reference of a pool party at night is in one of my favorite movies, Easy A and Melanie Bostick. That's how I'm A Stone's character says her name. Melanie Bostik's parents always let her throat. She's like the popular girl in their middle school. Let her throw a party every time she catches them doing it in the pool, which apparently is every weekend. And so we cut to her throwing this big high school party, and it is at night, and you see kids in clothes, but then you also see kids diving into the pool, and I have to say, it looks like much more of a rager than the Zax party.

My friend Bert V. Royle wrote Easy A and I one of my favorite things I've ever done in my career is I did a Los Angeles production of the play Dogs He's God, which Bert also wrote.

That play.

Yeah, it's such a fantastic play and it's based around the Charles Schultz characters of Peanut Charlie Brown, yea, the Peanut the Peanuts characters, and I played Sally Brown. But it's it's it's like this very incredible, dark, twisted, very funny take on those Charlie Brown characters and anyway, so I love that movie and love that man and that writer Zach's Sadpool Party. It's it's kind of it's not a for him, it's not a rager.

And Julie's empathetic, like I've got to go over here and try to still support this weird guy.

Which I which I So Susan has really forbid Julie from going over there, and I think this leads us to something that I know you wanted to talk more about mom with Bree and her daughter and what bree says to John the Gardner when she wants him to break up with her daughter.

Right, So Susan does, you know, try to get in the middle of saying you're not allowed to see that boy. And I think there's some validity to you know, he threw furniture across the room, and that kind of feels like a reason you would want to stop that. But yes, Breeze character actually goes to John's house and tells him that he that she you know, would like him to not take Danielle's virginity. And then when he says, oh, I'm not going to I didn't want to He's like okay, she says, well, I want you to be brutal about how you break up with her.

It's like, I know my daughter, and he's not going to go down without a fight.

And it kind of made me think about did I ever get in the way of your dating like that? I don't feel like I know.

Okay, thank god, because it's so many more years of therapy for me and I'm already in therapy.

Would you have listened if she did?

I mean, we so luckily did not have. I feel like that type of relationship. I think, if anything, I aired much more, which I think is maybe like you aired much more on the side of Like I was a pretty good kid, Like I would sometimes go to parties, but I was not doing drugs. I wasn't drinking, Like I smoked pot for the first time my senior year of high school. I lost my virginity my senior year of high school. Like I really was not pushing the line too much. That said, I had plenty of people I dated in high school, and I do think, Mom, you were actually like relatively supportive of some of these rando guys. But like, I don't know what I was doing going out with them, But I feel like you sort of let me flounder my way forward until.

We I feel like I still do this your first girlfriend, I kept my mouth up for nine months.

Yeah, floundered around for a long time with that one.

But I do though, I think and I was thinking about this in relation to high school parties, and I want to hear how this played out for you, Andrew and Hollywood, Like, what was the version of high school parties? Because the most trouble, the most trouble I ever got in was my junior year or most of my friends were seniors and they had like a big I think it was like post prom party and I hadn't gone to prom as a junior, but I went to the party with one of my best friends at the time, this guy Evan. We were in musical theater together, and Evan's parents were divorced like my parents, and normally when we would go out and like go to a party, or we would even sometimes throw parties at his dad's house because his dad like wasn't home a lot, or

like traveled. It was just like the place we typically went, and his dad's house was not too far from my mom's house. It was kind of like up over in the canyons and as mom's house I had actually never been to before, but it was like further deep in the valley. All this to say, I told my mom I'm going to sleep over. I'm gonna go to this party and I'm gonna sleep over. And my mom was vehement, she was like, I don't want you sleeping over. I want to pick you up. We gotten an uber because we were not drinking and driving again, so I yeah, and I had never even any drugs, but I think maybe I had like a drink at the party like one night. But I was, you know, I was a good kid. And we got in the car and we

were like chatting away, laughing it up, and I texted my mom, you know.

We're on our way back.

Here's the address, and I sent her Evan's dad's address. And I realized in the dark late night, two thirty am uber ride, pretty late, that we were not going to where I thought we were going his dad's house. We were going to his mom's house. I didn't know he was staying at his mom's house then.

And so you thought initially that you were telling the truth.

I thought I was telling the truth, and I sent my mom the wrong address, and then I sent a bunch of texts following like twenty minutes later, like that's not the right address, here's the right address.

But she didn't see those texts because.

She's driving, driving, and I don't read and drive.

Right and also so responsible, so responsible.

And then we got there and she called and obviously realized there'd been the house mixed up, and it took her like a she had to drive.

Now.

All the way from the Deep Valley over like to Beverly area was long drive. And she pulled up and she was livid, and I'd not really seen her like this, and I got in the car and she slams the door. She starts driving immediately and she goes, I'm taking you to UCLA. I'm getting you drug tested. Are you on drugs right now? And I was like, I'm not on drugs.

I just sent you the wrong address, like I made a genuine mistake.

I'm not on drugs.

And she did not end up taking me to the hospital to get drug tested, but that was the threat for most of the car ride.

That's a serious moment for you, too.

I never had, and I think it came out of you know, when people look at their fights and what is what is the the base of your fight, it is usually about you don't you feel the trust is broken, you don't feel seen, you don't feel respected, you don't feel you know, it's it's that, it's that it's some base connection. And and I think at that point is the exhaustedness of it. The late night, it was hard for me to just see this as a very standard mistake mistake, and and it felt much deeper. And that was my reaction to it. But that is you know, you know, when you don't fight at all, the one fight you remember, it's huge because that's the only one we ever had.

Yeah, but wait, so then so Susan Susan. The overlap here is that as Terry drove to get Emerson, Susan goes. It's not as far she just has to walk across the street, but she walks across the street over to this pool party where she doesn't end up finding Julie, but her intention is to go and and yeah and and catch her doing something bad, as you know presumed.

And so this party episode I do remember because this.

Is this this was significant to me. It was the first time we've seen all the child the children of Lynette and Susan and Brie all not Lynette, but I mean the the actors.

So it was you and Joy and Sean, so me and Danielle and Andrew and Cody who plays Zach. Yeah, we were all hanging out at Zach's house, which no, dug woo, yeah, no parents.

Do you remember what that was like to shoot?

I do. I remember being excited to film that type of scene with them because we all felt like we were a little club, of course, and I was excited that Julie got scenes with Danielle because Joy and I are still friends and were friends, and we were like, oh, this is cool. And in the story at that point, I don't know that we had established besides Julie's connection to Zach, there really wasn't any sort of connection between Julie and Danielle. So that was a surprising, fun moment.

I remember, even though I'm mocking the fact that it was at night, thinking, okay, great because if any of us have to be in swimsuits like, it's at night, so that's going to be flattering. So that you were interesting self conscious to be honestly. But we didn't have to be in swimsuits. So I was very relieved about no swimsuits, but if there were going to be swimsuits at night time, because yeah, I think pool parties as a teenager are so scary. I agree, they're not the same as pool parties when you're a kid and you're diving.

You've got your goggles on and you're diving at the bottom of the pool to retrieve toys. That's a fun pool party for someone. I think when you're a teenager, there's so obviously so much comparing your body, and your body's going through so many changes. My body went through so many changes on camera on Wisteria La and on Desperate Housewives. It was awkward for me. It was hard front of the paparazzi. I mean, it was just like a thing. It was how could I do that? It was not easy. It was not a smooth experience for me. Luckily, I had a lot of beautiful role models in my life who were sending me positive messaging about my body, but you know, it was an awkward time. I also had I was a late bloomer, so like I didn't

even get my period until I was sixteen, you know, so I hit puberty late, so my body changes were really gradual, and you know, it was super It was vulnerable to be to grow up in the spotlight as a teenager. And I definitely, you know, without going so far into a topic that we don't necessarily have enough time to really deep dive pool analogy into, you know, I think it's shaped my relationship to food and eating in general and having a healthy body, positive image or having disordered eating habits and things like that. And I think that, I mean, it's relatable to anybody. It's not just growing up in Hollywood and on screen, but like teenage pool parties are a vulnerable place, I think, so vulnerable,

just running rampent with judgment and did them.

Body images based on just being in front of a oh paparazzi with God?

Yeah, yeah, I totally did. And I actually a very distinct memory comes to mind when you say this. I remember I must have been I was around probably maybe the second to last season of justper Housewife, because I think I was like fourteen, okay, and I went through my kind of awkward puberty phase of everybody does, yes, you know, I mean earlier than Andrew was when I was sixteen. It was like twelve, well like thirteen, fourteen, fifteen.

I was definitely my body was changing a lot, and I remember distinctly. It was in Studio City. My mom and I had gone out somewhere for lunch. I was wearing Oh my god, I can literally see the picture in my head. I was wearing this like Urban Outfitters black dress that had a little triangle cutout and was kind of like a Halter shorter dress that had pineapples all over it, which ironically I'm allergic to, so I hear it was a bad move from the beginning, and like little boots. And there was some paparazzi picture of us leaving lunch, and my mom was a little bit in the background, and I was kind of in the foreground and already I'm two three inches taller than my mom.

My mom is a very petite woman. I'm really small, but I am bigger, and I was bigger than I am even now physically in size. Then as I was going through all of my changes, and there was this snapshot of us, and I remember seeing it was like in people like online, and there was some comment that was like Terry's daughter would be pretty if she just lost some weight.

Oh God, it makes me so mad.

I'm so sorry. Yeah, that happened to you, and it just makes me so enraged.

I think a version of that tabloids. You know, high school can be its own version of a tabloid echo chamber, even if you're not in the public eye or not in Hollywood at all, the way kids talk amongst each other, I think, honestly, for years, I would think about being self conscious in a bathing suit. And we went on a trip to Croatia, and I remember there was a lot of paparazzi then, and I was so self conscious about knowing that we were on this beach vacation and I was going to be in bathing suits and they were going.

To be those photos.

Because it's all you're thinking, like this, Our society and this particular industry has always sort of conflated beauty and thinness and value, right. And I will say, growing up on a television show where all of the leads were women, but thin women, you know, fit thin, beautiful women, messed with my mind sometimes when I didn't necessarily feel like I looked like you guys, you know, or that I started being one thing and then I had to grow up and I went through all these physical changes. None of the rest of you did because you were fully formed women. So I was looking at these women bodies and looking at my developing body and wondering if I was going to be as beautiful or if I was going to have that confidence, you know, And certainly you

never made me feel like that, but looking at someone as stunning as you and being around you in that environment would sometimes make me question, like how does this look on camera? And how do I look on camera next to her? And how does this outfit look? And you know, mess with my head sometimes and then I do think and we'll get there, because it's later seasons and it's still kind of fuzzy in my mind. But this whole topic of body image and young girls and body image comes up pretty strongly and intensely as we're talking about this with Gabrielle's storyline and her daughters, and I remember having bad feelings about the stories we were telling, and now I wonder how responsible, you know, I will feel,

not that it was on me, but that we didn't someone didn't say this is problem. So we'll get there eventually in the storyline as it relates to image and being a young girl.

Okay, well we're the parting words before you all go figure out a body of water to dive into and have some fun.

Yeah, I have to say now I'm too old to have Thank God, we're out of that awkward body image phase. Let's just swim in all the water and wear whatever you want.

Yeah right, I feel like I've aged out of caring so much about it. Also, which is another great thing about age, is that you just care less what anybody thinks about anything. I just want to be healthy. That's all I care about at this point. But I do just want to say all of the things we were talking about. I think the bottom line lesson is like, just be nicer to each other. Yeah, just everybody, just be nice to each other, ourselves. Just thank you for listening to the podcast this week with us, and just go out and be nice to people.

Go out and be nice and be nice to yourself, and we'll see you soon.

Yeah,

Dig DeepXYZ: Pool Parties and Punishments

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