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Shownotes
"Kissing Cousins," in which Jesse brings home his obnoxious Greek cousin Stavros (played by John Stamos), who cons the entire family until Becky cooks up a scheme to expose him. We've got all the behind the scenes giggles about a green screen, fake nose and a gold tooth.
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Guess what?
What? It's time. For what?
Free show, Poppycock.
Oh, yay! We're back to free show, Poppycock.
Yes, yes, yes.
Yay!
I know, I've missed you.
It's been a week.
I didn't see you last week.
I've never, I know, I never go like a week without seeing you or talking to you. I know.
So much has happened. Yeah, I've left the country.
I've changed my name.
No, it was good. I had a great week in New York.
I was doing doing press for Vampirina, the Disney show that I did where I got to be the fun villain sorcerer queen.
So Kenzie Richardson and I, she plays Vampirina.
We went and did some some New York press and had some other work stuff there. So I got to go spend a little time in the city. It was really awesome. And and yeah. So it was fun. How about you?
What have you been up to?
New York. Well, wait, I have a question. I have a follow-up question.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kenzie.
No, no, that's okay. I haven't seen Vampirina, so Kenzie. Is she a child actor or is she a teen or a young adult?
She's a teen. She just turned 15.
15, okay.
Yes, I actually took her out for her birthday. I had an extra ticket to go see Anne Juliet. So I asked her mom that night. I was like, hey, can I take her? Because I guess the day we flew in was her birthday. So I was like, I'd love to take her.
So it was fun. I had a nice little night out with her. Yeah, it was fun.
Was this like her first press tour? Were you like? showing her the ropes or is she an old hand at I'm not sure how.
Much what press they did for like season one because this was was season two.
But she was great. I mean, she's yeah. No, she's perfect.
She she did just fine.
Yeah. Yeah. Good for her. Oh, what a fun weekend. And New York in October. Oh, my God. It was that was lovely.
It was gorgeous. I walked all the way over around the city. Like I literally walked from like the Upper East Side to Soho. It was like six miles one day in the city. It was great. Isn't that great?
You can just do six miles. You don't even realize it. I've hopped into little stores.
Weird little bookstores.
I found this thing that I'm obsessed with that I think I'm going to get. And it was a thing that I said, okay, it's a little expensive, but if I'm still thinking about it, I'm going to get it. You'll never guess what it is.
Well, okay. Can you tell me the type of store or will that give it away?
The store was like a weird curiosities, oddities, antiques kind of store.
Oh, I'm never going to guess this. It's a 20th century, which means, you know, 1900s.
Yeah, yeah.
The olden days.
The century we were born.
It appears to be a little older. It's a cigar cutter. Now, I don't smoke cigars.
What? It's a mini guillotine. And I don't know why I am obsessed with it.
It's ridiculous.
So that is, that is, I, yeah, I don't know why I keep thinking about it.
I'm like, it's crazy.
It would go up on the mantle, you know, next to my skulls and my other weird art that I have. I don't know. It is October.
Everyone that I've shown in Figuari has been.
Like, that's kind of ridiculously cool.
Oh, neat. So I feel like, I feel like the crowd supports my decision to buy a useless.
Antique piece. mini cigar cutting guillotine.
I don't know why. Did you already buy it?
No, I have not bought it. I was not going to buy it because like I said, it was a little expensive. And I thought, I don't like to do impulse buys like that. Where I will be like, because in the moment I'm like, yes, I need it. And then I'll be like, okay, do I? But I have shared it with many friends. And I have still been thinking about it. And I went online and the store still has it. So, I mean, I don't know what the market for mini guillotines is. So I feel like it's probably going to stay there for a little bit.
But I don't want to take my chances.
So I might next week, you know, as a little treat to myself for a bunch of work this year, buy myself a little mini guillotine. I don't know. You can't keep a straight face.
I know. You can't keep a straight face.
I can't keep a straight face because it's so ridiculous, but it's like, it's, it's got a silver little thing and this is made in Italy.
Like it's handcrafted.
It's, it's a, Well, it's handcrafted.
I mean, it's handcrafted, for God's sakes. But it's an antique. I love antiques. I like weird antiques in particular.
I don't know.
It just, it feels fitting.
You know what I mean?
If there's a time to buy one, it's now.
So I figure I'm just rolling with it. Sitting with Dave and Jeff Ross and I think John Mayer right after Bob passed up on the patio of his house up there, smoking a cigar in Bob's honor.
So this mini guillotine is really in honor of Bob. You know what?
It is.
I'll say that. Yeah, it's in memoriam.
You know what I mean? It's your tribute. It's your shrine to Bob Saget.
Well, it's a shrine to many things. And I just feel like it needs to be on my mantle. So there we go. That's my weird, interesting news factoids of the day. I love it.
I approve. I can't wait to see it. Take a picture of it.
Oh, I have a picture of it.
It is set as the background to several of my friends' group chats right now because they.
All thought it was so entertaining.
I cannot wait to see this. This is fantastic.
You know what I didn't see?
What?
Your face last night at the SRF gala.
Oh, how was it?
That's right.
That was last night. Oh, my gosh. I've been out of town and now I'm in town, but I'm leaving again tomorrow at 3 a.m.
Tell me, how was it?
It was lovely.
It was good to see everybody. It was funny, though. Me, John Brotherton, Lori, and Candice all flew solo.
So we had like half a table because none of us. Zoe was going to come with me.
But then she wound up not feeling great yesterday.
And I was like, fine, you know, whatever. So we went, but it was lovely. We had fun.
John got the Bob Saget Legacy Award.
Oh, that's so great.
And it was an absolutely beautiful, wonderful, moving speech.
Really, really sweet.
And, yeah, so, you know, Jeff Ross and.
Jeff Franklin was there. Lots of Jeffs.
Oh, yay. But, yeah.
All the Jeffs were there.
All the Jeffs, yeah. Jeff Ross, Jeff Franklin.
And all the Johns, too.
And all the Johns. Brotherton and Stamos. Apparently, we only know Jeffs and Johns, really.
Noah's Ark. You're all like, in twos.
Right, yeah, just two of each.
Find another Jody.
Right. Yeah. But yeah, it was lovely.
The food was delicious.
As always, Susan Feniger from Border Grill plans the menu and does an amazing job.
And that was actually, Border Grill catered my wedding.
Really? It was delicious.
They did the taco bar. I love that taco bar.
So good. That was so good. Did you have any Ryan Gosling sightings? Isn't that where we.
Stalked Ryan Gosling?
No, no, no. He wasn't there. He wasn't there. But we were sitting in the corner of the, like in the front, in the corner of the thing. And I went to get up and like scoot out the front way thinking I'll just go.
And I was like, wait, that's right. There is no escape from the front.
I remember this because we had to cross back looking like idiots.
Oh, yes. When I did that for you, I approached Ryan Gosling and asked for a photograph. Actually, I asked his security. Yeah, and I was.
Like behind you guys. I was like, I'm not going to. If this goes bad, I'm not a part of it.
This goes bad, I'm out.
Well, it didn't go bad.
It didn't go bad, but they were like, no.
And I was like, I have no idea what they're doing.
I'm just looking for the bathroom.
And then I was like, now I got to walk back by again and make it obvious.
I know, egg on our face, walking back to our tables.
Yeah, there was none of that last night, but did see a lot of friends, a lot of fun comedian friends. Ron Funches was there and Fortune Feimster and Jay Pharoah. A lot of great comedians, as always. Hot comedy, cool cuisine.
So it was great.
It was really, really great.
Kelly was there. Of course.
Yeah.
So it was great.
Laura, obviously, Laura and Aubrey.
Great.
Yeah.
The usual cast of characters.
But it was lovely and we had a really nice time and it was really nice to go support Bob.
Yeah, of course.
But we all, I had to leave at like 9.30. Like we made it through the auction and we felt really bad because we didn't make it through much of the comedy. But all of us were like, we gotta go.
Yeah, 9.30, that's my bedtime.
I was asleep by 9.30. I was like, I had amazing food. I've supported the auction.
And now, yeah.
Do your little Irish goodbye.
Right. I did. Absolutely.
I was like, yeah, just left.
I support that. I support Irish goodbyes as well. Otherwise, you're stuck there another 45 minutes saying goodbye. No.
And yeah, if you got to pick a time when it's like awkward to say goodbye to everybody where you're like, oh, I'm kind of in the middle of things.
So I'll just do a little. you know, and scoot out.
Yeah. That's the best. That's the best kind of goodbye. I approve. Yeah.
So it was lovely. Got all dressed up and it was, it was fun.
And yeah, that was it.
What, how was your weekend more importantly?
Oh yeah.
I went to Vegas. Yeah.
Let's get to the, to the juicy stuff.
OK, well, I don't have.
Any juicy stories, but yeah, the new kids are wrapping up their residency in Las Vegas. Right. And then they say they're not going to have any performances in all of 2027. So this is kind of the last hurrah for at least a year.
You gotta get it all in now. Right.
And actually, this upcoming weekend is their last weekend, but we are going to be a 90s con. Right. So I had to go the previous weekend, this last weekend. right right right fantastic it was so fun um.
I'm actually surprised that you didn't say no to 90s con and decided to and and didn't go to the new kids honestly.
I told dom i told dom i said i'm very upset because i have a girl's trip and he's like i promise it'll be worth it and i'm like all right well then i i realize the whole cast is going so i can't miss that But if you.
Would have and I would have said it was for new kids, I think everyone, all of the fan-aritos would have been like, oh, duh. Yeah. Right.
But fortunately, they had the weekend before open.
Thank goodness.
Went and saw a great show. They made a couple of changes. Donny Osmond came out towards the end of the show.
Oh, my God.
Donny Osmond, who still does his residency at Harrah's. Why do you say it like that?
I don't know.
I don't. What is that? I feel like that's how you got to say horror. You can't say horror. You can't say horrors.
It's Harrah's.
It's not horrors. It's Harrah's? I've been saying horrors.
It's Harrah's Casino. It's not horrors. It's not.
Well, when you say it like I do, it's Harrah's.
Yeah, wrong.
When you say it wrong. It's Harrah's Casino.
Okay, Harris. Is that better? Harris.
No, but whatever.
We're going to go with it.
Okay, Donny Osmond is over at that casino.
Donny's at that casino. Right.
Finishes his show. Got it.
And then Ubers on over to Park MGM where new kids are performing. What? And he comes out and does a number. He walks out during Donny Wahlberg was singing I Need You. And Donny Osmond comes out from behind the stage. And he says, two Donnys for the price of one. Yeah. Donny Osmond Donny Wahlberg it's so great it was such a great wow I love that type of.
Humor bless Donny Osmond because I would not have that kind of energy at the end of my show I'd be like thank you and good night you know what I mean I wouldn't be about to go roll over to somebody else and be like hey let's do another thing I'd be like no I'm tired very tired.
This dude he's like I think he's almost what is he 70 I don't know but he like looks fantastic he's very well preserved he's And his voice is fantastic.
Like, his voice is great.
It's lovely.
I mean, well, look at you. You got two Donnies for the price of one.
I got two Donnies for the price of one. He only sang two songs, and then he left because, you know.
I mean, he'd already done an entire show. I think that's fair.
He'd already done an entire show.
Yeah, yeah.
But everyone was thrilled. Like, I could not feel older right now. But it was so fun.
I don't think that crossover....
Ever entered my mind uh donny osmond with new kids on the block like even in all of the the donnies i it never occurred to me to throw an osmond.
In there that me neither this was not on my bingo card.
I wonder what caused that you know what.
I mean i wonder tell you i can tell you please do.
Is johnny osmond a secret blockhead it's marie isn't it it's marie she's a joey girl i can see it What if she's a Donnie girl?
I don't know. Well, that would be weird.
You know what I mean? Like that, she couldn't be. Like for name reasons alone, she'd be like, I can't.
Yeah, he's off limits. She's got to stick to the other four. But Joey McIntyre went to Donnie Osmond's show a few nights prior to this and went backstage to meet him. And then they sort of colluded and were like, hey, we got to plan something.
We got to plan something.
We got to plan something.
When did you turn into like a.
Like some sort of a cigar-smoking newspaper editor from the 1920s.
What?
You know what I mean?
Like, I just picture you with a mustache, chewing on a cigar, like, talking about a story.
Yeah, like. It's, I need your mini guillotine. Like, that's what I need, you know?
That's what led into it. You're in character for it.
I get it. See?
See what it does to people.
In other news, because we got to wrap up this poppycock. But that was 15 minutes.
Fantastic.
Right.
I know.
Well, because I have more news I have to share with everyone. So I went to the eye doctor.
Oh, sweet Lord.
I cannot be older right now.
Okay. I'm so glad we've been sharing this for three minutes of this. Yep.
This is what the fanaritos turned in.
Oh, yeah. Okay.
So my vision's been getting worse and I thought maybe I need a little refresh on the LASIK. So I'm going to go get my eye exam first and check it out. Maybe get some temporary glasses.
And they're like, you're actually, you can't drive anymore. No, no, no.
They didn't say that. They didn't say that. But I'm like, yeah, my right eye is really getting bad, like fast for some reason.
Jodi Sweetin. Do you have a cataract?
I have a cataract.
I have to have cataract.
Like, nothing makes you feel more 50 years old than needing cataract surgery.
In my right eye.
Isn't that crazy? You can't even hide your smile right now.
I'm so old. That's like a, no offense, everyone. That's old person shit. Yes. But that is some well over 50-year-old problem.
That I like this is so young for a cataract. Well, usually you got the bum eyes.
You know what I mean?
They're not there. You get a little there.
You got to wear glasses. They're kind of maybe your eyes are your weakest thing on your.
They probably are. My mother had terrible eyes. Yeah. So my mother had like lots of problems. So I think that's. Yeah, I can thank my mother for a lot of things. Early menopause. And now early cataracts. Like Sherry Barber was not only on time, she was early for everything.
That does not surprise me.
Yeah, not at all.
Anyways, if you see me squinting with one eye.
Wait.
I have a patch.
Yes, that's what I was going to ask. Are you going to come to a podcasting session like a pirate? You know what?
I'll do that. I'll make it a point next week. I still have to adjust because I get a little dizzy if I try to stare at my screen for too long with the patch on. Right, right, right. But for you, next week we'll do Poppycock with the patch.
That's what we'll do.
Poppycock with a pirate patch. Look, you had me at puh.
So, yeah. Oh, man. Well, you know what?
Let's get out of this poppycock, please.
Do you want to do a show?
Let's please do a show.
Let's do a show.
Or I'm going to start talking about my ARP card next.
Oh, my God. Your ARP card.
Welcome back to.
Oh, AARP. Oh.
You're not getting... See, you're too young.
Okay.
I've been getting ARP card solicitations in the mail. Like, they target you. Once you turn 50, they're like, we're going in. Anyways, welcome back to How Rude Tantaritos.
I'm Andrea Barber. And I'm Jodi, non-cataract sweeten.
Today, we're discussing Season 7, Episode 18, Kissing Cousins.
Oh, this is such an episode, you guys. This is such an episode.
Buckle up.
You thought the poppycock was crazy. Like, just buckle up for this episode.
Yeah.
It originally aired February 15th, 1994, and it goes a little something like this. Jesse's cousin Stavros comes to visit and takes advantage of the whole family. I mean, that says it all. There's your synopsis right there.
And that's exactly what happens.
That's exactly what happens. It was directed by John Tracy, written by Tom Burkhardt. And we have three guest stars this week. We have Brad Joseph Dubin as the pizza guy.
Dubin or Dublin?
It's written as Dublin, but then I went to his IMDB and it's Dubin. So I deleted the L.
Got it.
I know.
So yes, Brad Joseph Dubin.
I thought maybe it was the cataract. You couldn't see the L. I know, right?
I can't see L's now.
Because of my cataracts. Okay.
I'm never going to hear the end of this cataract thing.
No, you're not.
So Brad, the pizza guy, he's a 90s actor who played Joey in My So-Called Life. And his other credits include Red Shoe Diaries, Widow's Kiss, and the horror comedy Modern Vampires, 1998.
Oh, okay.
So yeah, love it. Next, we have Madeline Capone as Dancing Partner. Ooh. Her listed credits include Showdown from 1993 as Bar Girl.
Got it.
And Full House.
That's it.
Unfortunately, not a lot of named parts.
No, no. She's too big for names. Yeah, I get it.
Basically, she goes by Madeline.
Exactly.
Last but certainly not least, we have Alicia Ann as Dancing Partner also. She played Ursula in Bikini Island. And she played Lisa Wilson in Dark Rider. And she's made several appearances in other 90s shows, In Living Color, The Ben Stiller Show, Ellen, Suddenly Susan, and Days of Our Lives. Great. Where she played Nan. I don't remember her name. Oh, okay.
So we start with the teaser in the living room. Becky walks in to find Nikki and Alex stacking pillows and asks what they're doing. It's a fort, Alex explains. Becky notices they've used nearly every cushion and pillow in the house to build it. I didn't do it, Alex insists. Becky reminds the boys it's not nice to tell a fib.
It's true, Mama, they insist. Becky doesn't believe them and tells the twins that since they brought all the pillows downstairs, they have to put them back. As she starts tearing down the fort, Joey suddenly pops out dressed like a cowboy and doing a John Wayne impression.
Yeah, it's a John Wayne thing.
It's not. It wasn't my favorite of his impressions, but it was a thing. Well, there goes another fort torn down by somebody's mommy. Realizing that the twins were telling the truth, Becky tells them, get him! Nikki and Alex grab the pillows and start hitting Joey with them.
Adorbs.
It's adorbs. Boys are cute.
Who doesn't love a good pillow fort?
Exactly. Next, in the living room, Danny asks Joey to attack him with a banana. so he can practice his self-defense moves.
I cannot... I absolutely was astonished at Danny in a gi. You know what I mean?
I was like, wait, what?
It was quite the way to open the episode. I mean, honestly, it was just like, boom.
You think how long did you think he and Dave would, like, toss that one back and forth?
Oh, this whole bit. This whole bit. You know, this was just like, There was just a lot of comments that couldn't even make the gag reel probably.
But I guess, you know what?
Makes sense.
It's where DJ got her karate thing. You're right.
Let's call this continuity. There's just not enough of it in the show. So we will say it's a rare moment of continuity. Joey says, Danny, look, I know you're really into this self-defense class, but I highly doubt you're going to get attacked by some crazed fruit vendor. Danny insists he needs to practice his disarm and disable move, and Joey reluctantly agrees. Joey lunges at Danny with the banana, but when Danny tries to block him, the banana explodes in his face.
Yeah, I'm just going to be quiet.
I'm just going to leave that.
I'm going to leave it alone.
Not even, it's there. It's just there.
Danny wipes himself off and says, I think I better work on that move. Jesse knocks on the front door asking for help with his luggage. Hey, girls, Uncle Jesse's back from Greece, Danny announces as he opens the door. Nice outfit, Jesse says to Danny. Nice luggage, Joey replies. DJ, Steph, and Michelle rush in from the kitchen to greet Jesse, who gives everybody hugs and kisses. DJ asks how Papouli's funeral went. Aww. Aww. Jesse explains that it was beautiful and, in a way, a celebration of Papouli's life. Danny tells Jesse it was nice of him to go back to Greece for the funeral. Changing the subject, Jesse announces that he brought a surprise home from Greece. A pony, Michelle asks. No, Michelle,
a pony's a little difficult to store in the overhead compartment, Danny jokes.
Not for the tanners.
Right.
They could make it work.
I'm just saying. If there is a family that could put a small pony in an overhead compartment on a plane, it's this one.
It's the Danners. Yep. Jesse calls toward the door. Stavros.
The moment he said that, I went, oh, it's this one. This one. Oh, and then the green screen happened, and I just went, wow. This....
It was shocking. We were there, so we saw it in person, but it was so shocking to see it again on my screen all these years later.
I mean, the Greek twin cousin thing is a big storyline, apparently.
Yeah. Michelle.
Michelle was the Greek cousin.
Was the Greek cousin, because there's two of them. But then we decided there's not two of him, but we should make two of him.
Well, why not?
You know?
This is John just flexing his acting skills.
The nose prosthetic.
Oh, my God. The mustache.
He's so greasy. Not just the hair.
But it's like.
Talk about mud.
Yeah.
Oh, my Lord.
It's just... It was quite... It was.
I know.
I was like, I.
He's Greek.
Take it up with him.
You know what I mean?
Yes. Well.
Yeah, yeah. True.
True. I'm wondering how much input he had into this character. Are you kidding, John?
Input into the Greek character?
Are you kidding?
So was all this his idea?
Like the teeth and the gold tooth?
Of course.
The nose?
Yes, I'm sure. All of it?
The hairy chest?
Yes.
Okay, well, you know, then there we go. We can blame John for this entire episode. And the Greeks still love him.
They do.
They do. It's his skin. Um... So Stavros, surprise! Stavros announces as he walks in. Jesse introduces everyone to his cousin Stavros from Greece. I hope he didn't have to fit in the overhead compartment, Michelle jokes. Stavros admires Jesse's family before announcing that it's time to play hug the cousin.
He goes around hugging everyone, kissing the girls on their foreheads and squeezing Michelle's cheeks. Stephanie notices how much Stavros looks like Jesse. And DJ agrees that they're definitely related.
Right?
You guys are perceptive.
One thing I know how to do is use my eyeballs.
There's one shot of you where you're trying so hard not to smile. Staring at John as Stavros.
I don't even know what he looks like.
You know what?
He looks like a guy that would say Haras.
Haras.
That's exactly what Stavros is. He is a guy that would say Haras.
Yeah, with the teeth and the mole with the hair coming out. Yes, that's a guy that says Haras. Okay. There we go. It all circles back.
There we go. Now it makes sense.
Stavros walks over to Jesse and compares their looks. Handsome boy, but this nose of a Greek god, referring to himself. That's a nose of a cockapoo, referring to Jesse's nose. Stavros announces that he should get to his seedy hotel in a bad part of town, and then he starts to leave. Danny insists that Stavros stay with them instead. Like, what? Okay, A, Jesse has just said, hey, surprise, here's my cousin from Greece.
Where are you putting Stavros in this house? Maybe the Kasopolis couch? I don't know. I thought about that because we're out of rooms.
This is the last family that should invite anyone to come stay.
There's no room at the inn. There's no room at the Tanner house.
No more room.
This is a fire hazard at this point.
So Stavros says, oh, Dan, now I must give big kiss on forehead. Danny nervously suggests a handshake in the hallway instead. But Stavros grabs his face and kisses his forehead anyway. And then he turns to Joey and kisses Joey's forehead as well. Becky arrives with Nikki and Alex, calling out, boys, daddy's home. Daddy, daddy, the twins shout as they run straight towards Stavros, mistaking him for Jesse.
Hello, kitties.
It could happen to anyone.
Jesse corrects them. Hey, guys, I'm daddy over here. Sorry, mister, Nikki tells Stavros before the twins run over to Jesse for hugs and kisses. Stavros compliments the twins and tells Becky. Now I know where they get their good looks from beautiful mother. Thank you. Who are you? Becky asks.
Jesse didn't even clear this with Becky. No, no, no.
That's right.
He didn't.
He just showed up with a Greek relative. Show up with a cousin. And now they're kissing everybody.
These people.
All they need to do is walk around a table and then they're going to be married. This is how Full House does things. So Jesse introduces Stavros and explains that he'll be visiting for a few days. Becky recognizes his name, telling Stavros that Jesse has told her so much about him.
Oh, okay. There we go.
So they've talked in the past.
Okay, got it.
He just didn't tell her he was bringing him home.
Yeah.
Jesse recalls spending an entire summer in Greece when he was 11 and how Stavros treated him like a brother.
Right.
Oh, you taught him about the birds and the bees, Jackie. Becky.
Jackie.
Becky jokes.
Jackie bokes.
Well, actually, it was goats and weasels, Stavros clarifies. Becky smiles awkwardly. goats and weasels that explains a lot so.
Does this then mean that pam also spent a summer in greece somewhere around age 13 yeah.
I would think so but she's not we don't mention her anymore every time jesse's like yeah and then i did this i'm like or my family did this i'm like so pam was there and then it just makes it weird because you're like wait what Yeah, yeah, I get it. I feel the same way. But they didn't even mention her in the last episode when the grandpa died. Like, they didn't mention any. Pam's gone. Pam is just, she's.
Left the building. I don't think anybody liked her, really.
Oh, Pam.
I know.
Maybe she saw Danny and the Gee, and she was like, I got to get out of here. So anyways, let's talk about how they do this. How they film John and John playing two different characters at one time.
Wait, what? No.
And I'm not sure if it was the same in 1994 is how they do it.
Green screen.
Now, they used a green screen. So they weren't using plates like that you film it once with one actor? Or is that more modern?
I think they did.
You'd have to film it.
Once. Oh, yeah, I guess you would use plates instead.
Of green screen.
It could have been a green screen.
No, that makes more sense because it's like how they did it on Lele.
Yes.
Yes. Or Vampirina or whatever, where it's like you have to shoot the plate and then you can fill it in with the overlay of the other thing that you shot.
Yeah. So I don't know if that was a technology in 94. I think that was it.
Because, yeah, I remember John having to act as both sides to no one.
Right. Right. which is always awkward right as an actor but yeah so they would shoot the episode once with Jesse and then they take him out and shoot it again with Stavros right and then overlay it or I don't know the editor does the editor things and so yeah I don't remember but I'm assuming what they did was they did they shot the whole show With John or, no, of course with John, but they shot the whole show with him as Jesse.
As Jesse and then shot.
On the pre-tape day and then shot Stavros later.
Probably Stavros on pre-tape day just because of makeup. And then John on.
So how did they do this in front of the audience?
I don't remember. Did we even shoot this in front of the, who was he in front of the audience? I don't remember this.
I have no idea.
I don't remember. We're a lot of help, aren't we?
You couldn't really do the fast turnaround for that.
No, not on tape night.
No.
So maybe they just pre-shot all of the Stavros scenes, but he's in almost the whole damn episode. So I don't know. I don't know.
Yeah, I don't know.
Anyways, we don't know if Annarito's. We're really useful.
We're really useful in this situation.
Yeah.
Hey, you want the behind the scenes?
I don't remember. I don't know. Experts.
Yeah, yeah. We're experts on Full House. We don't know anything. If anyone does know, there's a fanarito out there, I know, that probably knows all the answers.
To these questions. Or that was at the taping that was like, no, we saw this or whatever. Yeah, please let us know.
Please help us.
Please, please do.
Give us an assist.
Give us a little refresher.
Moving on to the kitchen. Stavros walks into the kitchen with Steph and Michelle after a day of sightseeing. Danny and Joey ask the girls where they took Stavros, suggesting the Golden Gate Bridge or Fisherman's Wharf. The racetrack, Michelle answers. Danny is surprised to hear that they went to the racetrack, but Stephanie clarifies that Stavros took them. Stavros insists that the track is very educational, and then he burps. He's drinking the What is it, orange juice out of the carton?
Is this a Greek thing? I don't know.
I think he's just trying to make him as rude as possible.
He's just playing the most obnoxious cousin ever. Yeah.
Well, they achieved that.
Oh, in spades.
And then he asks Michelle to tell everyone what she learned. Don't bet your tooth fairy money on a long shot, Michelle says.
Good advice.
Stavros thanks Dan for letting him borrow his car. and explains that he parked in a great spot, right in front of the little rocket ship where dogs go pee-pee. Danny thinks for a moment, before realizing Stavros meant a fire hydrant, and immediately rushes to move his car.
I'm a little shocked that Stavros had never seen a fire hydrant.
Like, how rural?
That's what I'm.
Saying, they can't release this island.
Like, they haven't left the 18th century.
Right.
You know, did Stavros even know that he could fly on a plane?
I mean, he's taking a boat. Maybe he took a boat. I don't know. And clearly there's a there's a lovely parking space right in the backyard for all vehicles, including cement trucks. So why didn't Stavros just park there? Well, he doesn't know.
He didn't know.
He didn't know the secret portal to drive into into the backyard. So.
All right. We'll give him a pass for now.
So.
So before leaving, Danny notices Stavros drinking directly from the orange juice carton. And he says, do me a favor. Don't put that back in the fridge.
Hold on a second, though. I just have a thought.
Yeah.
Danny is not at all bothered that he sent his two daughters with some Greek guy in.
His car to the racetrack.
And he seems.
Rather unbothered by it.
He's not. Okay.
Because it just hit me where I was like, Wait a minute. Danny just sent his two daughters in a car with a dude he doesn't know.
And they wound up at the racetrack and Danny's like, whatevs. It's very out of character.
Even to loan his car.
That's what I'm saying.
To the stranger, essentially. Like, yes, this is a departure.
He offered to let him stay. He's giving him his car.
Right.
And Stombrose is walking right all over him. Yeah, I know. I'm glad the girls came back safely.
Right.
Who knew this was a dangerous situation? So Stavros notices Joey playing cards and asks if they can play some form of a card game. Joey explains that it's called gin and asks Stavros if he knows how to play. Oh, I'm, well, not very good, Stavros says before dropping the entire deck of cards.
Never trust anybody that says that with a card deck or a pool cue.
Right, yes, exactly. Well then, sit down, my well-coiffed foreign friend. Sit down, Joey says, doing his WC Fields impression. Later, Stavros smoking a cigar. See, I'm just telling it. He's shuffling the cards.
Mini guillotine.
Just saying.
It's all coming back.
There's a theme.
There is a theme to today.
Yes. It's the universe telling me that, yes, you should buy that mini guillotine.
It is. All signs point towards buying your mini guillotine. He's shuffling the cards like a professional and showing off several tricks. Of course, there's a hand double here that doesn't quite have the same skin tone as John, but we're going to overlook that as we do, because that's what we do. I went through this, too, when I did the teppanyaki grill.
Right.
And they couldn't find a hand double for me and my tiny hands.
Well, yeah, that's what the problem was, is they were like, any hands that we put, people are going to be like, those hands are enormous.
That's why I had to learn to do the tricks on my own, because they couldn't find a hand double.
Yeah.
Anyways, Stavros says, come on, Diamond Joe, one more. Nothing or double. And he's trying to convince Joey to play one more round. Joey declines, explaining that he already owes Stavros $ 46 and he only has a 20.
It's OK.
Friendly game. I take watch, Stavros says. And before taking Joey's money and watch, he just flicks that watch right off like a professional swindler.
Pickpocket.
Yeah. Nice doing business with you, Stavros adds before kissing Joey on the forehead. The doorbell rings and Stavros announces that's for me. I'll get it before heading to the door. In the living room, DJ and Kimmy beat Stavros to the front door where a pizza delivery guy is waiting. Hey, who ordered the pizza? DJ asks. I ordered for everybody, Stavros answers.
Hold on.
Hold on.
He doesn't know what a fire hydrant is, and yet he can call a pizza place and order pizzas to be delivered?
He's selectively incompetent.
I mean, I've met a lot of people like that. Yeah, I just, I was like, hold on, buddy.
Pizza's important, you know? I get it.
But again, if we're talking rural, are they getting pizza delivery in Greece? Is it coming on a donkey?
Is it on a goat or a weasel?
I just have questions.
So many questions about the homeland.
But Stavros is a liar.
We know this.
So he's probably, he probably, yeah, he probably lives in Athens and he's like.
Stealing watches from tourists.
So, Sorry, I derailed this, but it's a very important point that I need.
These are very important points. And I'm sure a lot of fanaritos share them because this whole episode is just like this. It's like, what is happening? The delivery guy tells them the pizza costs $ 20. Oh, get it, Stavros says, grabbing the pizza and walking away without paying. DJ Kimmy and Steve exchange confused looks. Steve asks, hey, Stavros, don't you owe that guy 20 bucks? Stavros explains that he only has drachmas and asks DJ to pick up the bill.
DJ reluctantly pays for the pizza, leaving herself with no money for a tip. Anyone got a tip? DJ asks. Here's a tip, Kimmy tells the delivery guy. She shoves DJ out of the way. If you tickle me with a feather duster, I purr like Catwoman.
What? I....
You can see the pizza guy's trying not to smile either. This was Kimmy and her sexual advances. I'm just saying. She had turned it up. She had turned it up. This had to be a director's note because I came on strong and that's not me. And I thought this actor was so cute. I was like, whoa. I got to sell this really good.
Well, you sold it for sure.
Thank you.
But I was like, damn, Kimmy.
Okay. Right.
Kimmy, nothing can slow Kimmy down when it comes to pizza and cute boys. So the delivery guy leaves confused and Stavros calls everyone over to the couch to eat. He opens the pizza box, immediately disgusting everyone. It smells like something crawled in there and died, DJ says. They should have delivered that thing in a lead box, Steve adds.
It's double feta cheese and lamb guts. Enjoy, Stavros says.
What?
I didn't know that was an option on the menu.
It's lamb guts.
It's called sausage, okay?
Kimmy says, Deej, we'd love to stay, but Steve finishes, I'm going to hurl. And Steve and Kimmy exit.
Wow, something Steve won't eat.
You know, they should have given more weight to this moment. You're right.
I was like, Steve eats everything.
And they didn't even make a joke about like that.
Steve eats everything. And yet he's actually nauseous at this.
Yeah. Yeah, you're right. That joke just left on the table. Deserved another beat or two. So Becky walks in from her workout wearing a cute little leotard with the hip. It's so high up on her hips.
Hysterical.
She says, wait, my throat. Excuse me, it's my cataract. No, just kidding. Becky walks in.
Oh, yeah.
She says, whew, that was a great workout. Stavros watches her walk across the room. That is hot. Becky stops and turns around. Excuse me? Stavros quickly pretends he was talking about the pizza. I mean, the cheese is hot. It's dang near bubbling. Really, Becky says with an awkward laugh. Well, don't burn the roof of your mouth. And she heads into the kitchen.
And now it's creepy.
Yes.
Yes.
This whole storyline. I was like, oh, yeah, there's a dude in the house.
Yeah.
Anyway, we'll get it.
It's very uncomfortable in the kitchen. Becky grabs some carrots, like whole carrots.
That's right.
That's what we do.
Yeah.
She grabs carrots. Because the joke's got to work when she bonks.
Right.
You can't have mini carrots.
Right.
That doesn't work.
Plus, it looks prettier.
It does look prettier. The joke's got to work. So she grabs the carrots from the fridge while Stavros creepily watches her from behind the wall. He slowly approaches her.
Beautiful.
Well, it's just a carrot, Becky replies. Stavros moves closer. Anyone tell you you hold vegetables like Greek goddesses? Not really, Becky says, moving away from him. Stavros follows her. And you smell poppin' fresh. Becky explains that she just came from the gym and rubbed on some Bengay. This Ben is a lucky guy, Stavros says, as he moves closer to her neck. To her neck from behind. Yeah. Yeah.
Is he like a vampire? I was like, are you going to.
We've invited you in. You know what I mean?
Like, are you going to bite her?
What has happened?
It's so creepy.
So disconcerting. Yeah, so disconcerting.
Right?
Becky notices and hits him with the carrot. Hey. And he replies, sorry, you smell so good. I just can't control my bad nose. Bad nose. Bad nose. Becky points the carrot at him.
I would say that.
It is a bad nose. I mean, he's right. He's right about that. And Becky says, Stavros, keep your nose out of my business. Sorry, I will spank nose. He has mind of its own. Bad nose. Bad, bad nose. Stavros says, smacking his own nose before heading upstairs.
To wherever he's sleeping.
Now, obviously this doesn't play the same in 2026. The whole thing, I was just like, this could not be done.
Right, right, right.
But in 1994, I don't think it was funny even in 1994.
Well, the only thing that you then, that at least I then think about is, so now there's this creepy dude that's staying in the house.
Yeah, with young girls.
Like with young girls that he's taken to the racetrack. I just, the whole thing, I start going... this feels weird.
The red flags are flagging yeah it's it's yeah it's just not funny it's not even in 94 it's not funny to see a man making unwanted advances towards a woman who's like no and he's like oh I couldn't help it it's my nose yeah like that's just not I don't know whatever people are gonna be like oh you.
Guys are judging it too harshly you know sharper than a carrot.
Right get the where's the cigar where's the mini guillotine when you need one you know what I mean exactly yeah So in the living room, Joey comes downstairs with Michelle and Stephanie and notices the pizza sitting on the table. Stephanie opens the box and they all groan in disgust. When did they start using dirty laundry as a topping?
Stephanie asks. Comet approaches the pizza and starts sniffing it. At least there's one happy customer, DJ says. And Comet quickly backs away and starts growling at the pizza. or not, DJ adds.
That dog's got such good timing.
Danny enters the living room upset that he got a $ 65 parking ticket for leaving his car next to a fire hydrant.
That's it?
It's cheap back in those days.
I was going to say $ 65 in San Francisco.
That's just cheaper than paying for parking. Right, yeah, exactly.
You could park legally and still have to pay $ 65.
I'll just pay $ 65 every time. So Joey adds that Stavros cost him $ 20 and his watch. Wait, he had 20 bucks? DJ complains. He cost me 20 bucks for that hot goat on dough. Becky reveals that Stavros also tried to hit on her while they were alone in the kitchen. Wow, Stavros is a sleazebag.
Stephanie says. Thank you, Steph, the only one who's like, F this guy, he's a sleazebag.
She's the Greek chorus, no pun intended.
Right. Yeah.
Danny points out that Stavros does have one good quality. He's leaving Thursday at 9.18. He suggests they try to put up with him until then.
It's your fault, Danny.
It's your fault.
Like, no one's concerned.
I don't want to sleep in the floor of your room. You know what I mean? He's got a big old room with nobody in it. Yeah.
Well, and like, why? Why is no one paying attention to the red flags? Like, guys, you don't have to just make nice with this guy. Like, you don't have to let him stay there. Put him back in the seedy hotel in the bad.
Part of where he obviously belongs.
Obviously.
So Harris, you know what I mean? He would just blend right in at Harris. Jesse joins everyone in the living room and asks what they think of Stavros. Isn't he a great guy?
You're a terrible judge of character.
Jesse's a little blind. Everyone reluctantly agrees, pretending that they like him. Yeah, it's a shame he has to leave so soon, Danny says. Thursday, 9-18, Michelle adds.
No.
No.
None of this denial should be happening.
Jesse surprises everyone with the news. That Stavros loves America and the family. He loves America and the family so much that he's thinking about moving here.
Hmm.
Since everyone seems to get along, Jesse has invited Stavros to live with them until he gets settled.
Okay. Someone needs to smack Jesse.
Just no boundaries.
He's already taken up four spaces with his family in this house. You've already built him an attic and now he's inviting more people?
Yes.
It's, oh man.
Like there's just, how about asking the homeowner? How about asking Dan in his D if this is okay?
I mean, Danny's the one that started this. So he's just following Dan's lead, you know? Dan's giving him his car, his kids, you know?
Danny's lost all control over the entire house.
Danny's codependency is really showing in this episode.
His inability to hold a boundary is striking.
Oh, striking in this episode. The family goes silent, exchanging worried looks. Danny admits that he doesn't think Stavros staying with them is a good idea. Thank you, Danny. Jesse assumes Danny is upset because Stavros used his razor to shave his chest and promises to talk to him about it. I laughed at that. It's so gross.
What did he shave, though? Did we just see it still there? I mean, I get that it grows back quickly. It grows back overnight. I don't know.
And Danny says, no, that's not it. Wait, he did what? Joey explains that Stavros is a con man who has been hustling everyone since he arrived.
Thank you, Joey. Thanks, Joey. Finally.
Unbeknownst to the family, Stavros is upstairs listening to their conversation. Jesse is offended by the accusation, reminding everyone that when he visited Greece as a child, Stavros treated him like a brother. He's family. You insult Stavros, you insult me, Jesse tells them.
Well, Stavros sucks, Jesse.
Sorry.
Becky backs up Danny, explaining that Stavros made a pass at her and she had to hit him with a carrot. Jesse says Stavros already told him about it and insists it was a misunderstanding. He explains that Greeks are passionate and physical, and Stavros didn't mean anything by it.
I would have punched Stavros right in the face. Well, no, I would have punched Jesse right in the face after he said that, and then I would have punched Stavros right.
What?
Jesse doesn't defend Becky in this moment?
Like, this actually really bothered me.
Yeah, it bothered me too.
Like, it actually really bothered me.
Yeah, yeah.
Because I was like, Exciting with Star Wars.
Yeah, this actually, I.
Was like, wow. So your wife tells you that somebody did something inappropriate in your home, and you blame her?
Oh, they're just passionate.
I mean, I'm not, it felt like a Jesse reaction.
It did, it did.
But it was, it really bothered me.
Yeah, I guess we, you know, we just, we think differently these days, but I feel like even then, that should have been a problematic thing.
That like, that should have been it. Yeah.
You know, it's one thing to ignore.
Your brother-in-law and your buddy.
And your buddy, but like to ignore your wife, that he did something uncomfortable and to be like, well, yeah, that's your fault. And it's just a misunderstanding. And you took it wrong. Like that felt really, uh, yeah. Problematic, real problematic.
And to explain it away, like, Oh, the Greeks are just passionate like that. It's like, no, no, it's still not okay.
It's just, quote, unquote, boys being boys.
Right.
We've heard that. That was, yeah.
Anyway. Yeah. There was a lot of triggering things in there.
Yeah.
So Stavros suddenly comes downstairs carrying his luggage. Stavros, where are you going? Jesse asks. Back home to Greece, Stavros answers. Well, have a nice trip, Danny quickly says as everyone else gets up to say goodbye.
Deuces, bro.
Jesse insists Stavros can't leave yet, but Stavros claims he just spoke to his relatives back home and learned that a terrible mudslide destroyed their village. Village of Palopolis is no more. Homes destroyed. Everybody homeless. Major mudslide plopped on Palopolis. Stavros explains.
At least it wasn't a fire, because apparently they don't have hydrants.
Right, he's never seen one, right? The family quietly apologizes, not even questioning the story.
No!
I realize they did not really have the internet.
Back in the day.
But still, this guy.
But not even that. This guy has been. The whole family the whole time. And now all of a sudden, we're like, oh no, he needs our help.
Right.
Why are you trusting him now?
He's been hustling everybody in the house and everyone just suddenly goes, no, I think he's not hustling us on this one.
Yeah, with this crazy cockamamie mudslide story.
That sucks. You should get home. Yeah.
I'll pay for your cab.
Yeah.
Here, we'll get you a ticket.
Yeah, we'll pay the change fee on the ticket.
It's fine. Just get back there as quickly as you can.
Yeah, they need you, Stavros. They need you with a shovel. The family quietly apologizes, and Jesse asks if there's anything they can do to help. Stavros says he must return home, but first he wants to give back everything he took. He returns Joey's watch and money and apologizes to Becky for his poor manners. Maybe mudslide is punishment for bad behavior.
I'm sorry, Stavros says.
It might be.
Danny asks, we're sorry too, but what can we do to help you?
Danny, damn it.
I know, Danny, Danny.
Danny, stop it.
Stop talking, Danny.
Stop it.
Just go put your gi on and practice your defense moves.
Go read Codependent No More and just settle down with trying to offer up help to people who are not deserving of it.
That's such a good book, by the way.
You got 1,700 people living in your house already.
Highly recommend that book. It is life-changing.
Oh, it's a great book.
That's why I was like, it's right at the top of my head.
Danny needs this book more than anyone.
Yes. So Stavros wishes there was some way to raise money for the village.
How about a fundraiser?
Stephanie's in jest.
Stephanie! You know what? And now I punch Steph right in the face. No, Steph. No.
No one is safe. No one is safe from this bad judgment.
No one is safe from the wrath of what are you thinking?
Why I no think of that, Stavros asks, smacking his forehead. Jesse loves the idea and offers to host the fundraiser at the Smash Club.
Because there's nowhere else in town.
Hey, you know, the set designers worked hard on that set.
You might as well, you know, put it in the free place that the family owns.
One of them, anyway.
They had to put that set to good use. Like, it took a while to build. It took up a lot of the stage. So it's like, let's use the Smash Club again. How about a dancing fundraiser? DJ suggests a dance-a-thon, explaining that her school held one for a children's hospital where volunteers danced while people sponsored them. We made a fortune, DJ tells everyone. And Stavros smiles at the idea. Stephanie volunteers to dance for as long as it takes. I volunteer too, even if I have to stay up way past my bedtime, Michelle adds. At the Smash Club. Like, I'm exhausted.
This episode took me... There was so many things in it that I was like, well... I absolutely know what the worst episode of season seven is going.
To be in our recap.
Oh, yes. This is Sea Cruise season seven.
This is Sea Cruise Stavros episode.
Yes.
Yeah, yeah.
It's bad.
By minute 14, I was like, how are we only like halfway through this?
How are we here again?
Sorry.
I'd take Howie.
You're so serious. I would take Howie over Stavros too. Howie was way more just, you know, palatable. Right? So at the Smash Club, Greek music plays as everyone claps and dances in a circle for the fundraiser. Jesse gets on the microphone and announces that they've officially been dancing for one hour. He encourages more people to join the dance-a-thon.
Come on up here, get a number, put it on your back, and go out on the dance floor and shake your moussaka. Jesse adds that anyone who doesn't want to dance can sponsor a dancer by signing up with his wife, Rebecca.
Who he doesn't believe. Right.
Danny and Joey sit off to the side, watching everyone dance. Joey says, I tell you, there's no way they'd get me out there to dance till I drop. And Danny agrees. You said it. Two young women then approach them and ask if they'd like to dance. Till we drop, Danny immediately answers, and they go dancing. As everyone dances, Stavros walks around the club collecting donations in a box.
Who's handing this man money?
But he's, like, he must... He must be convincing in real life. Like, he's just like, I don't know.
There's some level of charm in person.
Yeah. Again, there's a few of those people that you look at and you go, how are people handing this person money? Do they not see it?
Just act confident and people will believe whatever you say. You know, this is the lesson. Two more hours pass by, bringing the dance-a-thon to three hours total. Most of the dancers are barely moving. Stephanie complains, I'm exhausted. I don't know how much longer I can go on. Michelle says, really?
I could dance all night. And we see she's holding onto Stephanie and standing on her feet. Stavros signals for the band to stop playing and announces that the dance-a-thon is over. Time to put money where my hand is, Stavros says, taking off his jacket and tossing it onto Michelle's face. He continues collecting money from the crowd. Stephanie helps Michelle remove the jacket and they discover a plane ticket that fell out of Stavros' pocket.
Things that would never happen today. Right?
Just add it to your phone now.
Right, yeah.
A plane ticket. Deej, look, Stephanie says. DJ comes over and Stephanie shows her that Stavros is flying to Orlando, Florida tonight. DJ immediately brings the ticket to Becky. Oh, no, Becky says. I bet this whole mudslide thing is just another one of his scams. By tomorrow, he's going to be cruising the Magic Kingdom trying to get Tinkerbell's phone number.
You know, she's not wrong. Like, I could see that happening, too. Stephanie suggests telling Uncle Jesse. Becky reminds the girls how Jesse feels about Stavros and explains that he won't believe them without proof.
No!
Which, sadly, she's right, though.
He's not going to believe them. No, but still, you should be like, yes, we should go tell him again.
Again?
I don't know. We're going to have to prove it to him, and I think I have a way to do it. Becky says, come here. She pulls DJ and Stephanie close and begins explaining her plan. A honeypot. A honeypot?
That's a spy term.
A honeypot is when you use a woman and promise of... some fun in order to gain access and information from someone.
Becky's the honeypot.
Yeah.
That makes sense. Next, Becky's in the office of the Smash Club. She hides a microphone and a bouquet of flowers on the table. And when she hears a knock, she quickly sits on the couch and adjusts her dress to show more leg. It's open, she calls. Stavros enters, freshening himself up. Michelle said you wanted to see me alone.
Oh yes, I'll be frank, Becky begins. Can I still be Stavros, he adds. Whatever turns you on, Becky replies before trying to explain her feelings. The hot's for my bod bod, Stavros interrupts. And Becky plays along, admitting that she couldn't take her eyes off of him the day before while he ate SpaghettiOs with his fingers. Spoons are for wimps, he says. Now kiss me, Yankee doodle doll face.
And he rushes towards her. Becky quickly dodges him and asks how he'd like to run away with her somewhere warm and romantic. The kind of place you want to go after you've won the Super Bowl, she adds. She picks up the flowers containing the microphone and places them between them. This is fate with a big F and a little 8, Stavros says before closing the door. He reveals that he's going to Florida that night. Let's paint town with roller. Becky asks what will happen to the benefit and all the money they've raised. stavros laughs oh becky this whole thing is fake as three drachma bill now kiss me before my breath spray wears off oh that's right i forgot he walked in with banaka and he sprayed it in his armpits yes.
Yeah yeah yeah it singed the hair right out of his armpits actually the banaka did so powerful.
Um becky has a feeling she tells him she has a feeling there are to be interrupted. Someone immediately knocks and Becky opens the door to find Michelle. How come you're not Jesse in a jealous rage? Becky asks. Maybe because we couldn't hear you, Michelle explains. Becky realizes she forgot to turn on the microphone. Probably, Michelle replies, probably.
Becky closes the door and tells Stavros, your loafer is untied. And when he bends down to check, Becky quickly switches on the microphone. You make joke with Stavros, and now we kiss, he says. Becky dodges him again and asks if he knows what would really drive her wild. Painting sad clowns on my toenails? Stavros guesses? What? Is this Mad Libs?
Like, what are the writers doing? But you know what, though?
I actually appreciated that. I was like, that's brilliant.
It's so random. Because all I could think of was, can you imagine the things that didn't make it? You know what I mean? Because I know when something that absurd makes it, like, what were the things that they tossed out in the writer's room, knowing that there was absolutely no way in hell it would ever make it to the script, but just the jokes that I'm sure went.
They should really, I would love to see a graveyard of jokes, discarded jokes from the writer's room. That would be.
A fascinating read.
What came before that, you know what I mean?
That they were like, no, I think that's the one that's weird.
And rides just the boundary of WTF.
Yep. Well, certainly, yes, Becky replies. But first, I would really love if you would tell me your whole brilliant plan one more time. And then she puts a flower in her mouth. Oh, so that's what floats your tuna boat, Stavros replies, as his voice begins playing over the club speakers unbeknownst to him. First of all, there was no mudslide.
Becky encourages him to keep talking, asking him to speak louder. We sneak off to Florida, Stavros begins. before noticing Becky pushing the flowers toward his face. Why are you sticking flowers in my face? He asks. So everyone can hear you, Becky admits. Stavros searches.
Full Scooby-Doo moment. It totally was. I wanted him to.
Just rip off the face and be like, ha ha, I'm Jesse. Just kidding.
Yeah. Stavros discovers the microphone and he says, a microphone? Does this mean you do not want to go? Jess, if you're listening, here he comes, Becky shouts into the microphone. and we cut back to the main room of the Smash Club. Stavros rushes out onto the stage, grabs the box of donations, and tries to escape.
Hold it.
He's just doing a smash and grab now.
Right? Smash and grab. He's got his priorities. It's that cash box. Danny yells, hold it, and gets into position to use his self-defense moves. Stavros throws the money at Danny and keeps running. Joey tries to stop him as Stephanie shouts, get him, Uncle Jesse. Jesse runs towards Stavros and picks him up. while Danny and Joey grab him by the arms. Jesse tells them to let Stavros go before confronting him.
This was one of those moments when they were like, we're really going to freak him out because we're going to show the two of them touching and.
People are going to know.
Yeah, that was one of those moments where it's like, yeah, body double.
Trying to break the fourth wall there.
Right.
Yeah, no, you can tell it's a, I mean, you can tell it's not John.
Well, of course, but that's the thing where they like, whenever.
There's a twin episode or something like that, they have to do some sort of thing where there's a hug or a something so that they can, you know, wow everybody with the 1994 special effects.
Yeah, true. Actually, the effects, it worked better than I was expecting. You know, it looked pretty seamless. So, yeah, Jesse says, Stavros, how could you do this to me, to my family? I trusted you, man. I looked up to you. Stavros explains that all he ever hears in Greece is how successful Jesse is in America, with his wonderful job.
His beautiful wife. Jobs.
Jobs.
Many jobs. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And his perfect family. Jesse admits that he has all of those things. He reminds Stavros that he didn't get them by stealing.
I worked for it.
Maybe that's something you should try.
And lived in someone else's house while I did it.
Right?
You know what I mean? When Jesse was like, I worked for it. I was like, then buy your own damn house. Yeah, but there's also nepotism.
Like the radio show, he's been given a lot of jobs as well.
That's what I'm saying. Did you work really hard, Jesse?
I don't know. It just appeared. What's he gonna do? Jobs keep dropping in his lap.
Do we really think this whole village in Greece is talking about Jesse? Like he was there when he was 11. Are they still talking about him and his perfect family in America?
I don't know.
John's very big in Greece. Jesse could be very big in Greece as well.
There could be statues.
There could be entire festivals.
So Stavros makes an admission. I did try.
I worked very hard.
It was the worst day of my life. Jesse tells Stavros how much he has hurt him. You may be family, but you're out of here. Then Jesse apologizes to his family. It's okay, Jess, Danny assures him, before turning to Stavros. Come on, Stavros, you got a plane to catch. Thursday, 9-18. Be there, Michelle adds.
I love the way this family just moves on from anything.
There's no time to digest. Sorry, guys.
It's all right. It's fine. You just invited a thief that, you know, hit on your wife and stole my kids off to a racetrack and attempted to do a smash and grab at your club. It's fine. It's fine. Right. It's fine. Don't worry about it.
We're not going to call the authorities.
No, no.
Nah.
It's nothing. It's full house. Yeah.
Danny and Joey escort Stavros out and Jesse apologizes to everyone at the club and promises to make sure they get their money back. DJ suggests donating the money to a good cause instead, like the children's hospital. Jesse loves that idea and asks the crowd for their approval. Everyone applauds. Jesse apologizes to Becky for not listening to her about Stavros.
Thank you, Jesse. Well, when you care about someone, sometimes it's hard to see the truth, Becky tells him.
Don't let him off the hook, Beck.
I know, we're close. We're 21 minutes and 30 seconds into this, so we gotta wrap it up.
We're an hour and six minutes into this podcast, so.
Sorry, everybody.
Forgive me, Jesse asks. And Becky smiles and kisses him. I'll take that as a yes, Jesse says. Jesse notices someone watching them. What are you looking at? This is not a free show. Go on then. Dance.
Music.
Like now, now that he's in a public place.
You're making out in a public place. It's not the living room, Jesse.
I'm sorry.
There's no privacy. He prefers making out.
Not the privacy of the living room with people coming and going.
Yeah. Um, the great music starts playing again. Everyone returns to the dance floor.
As if nothing's happened.
And that is our show.
What was that show?
What did we just watch? Oh, boy.
You know what?
Fanneritos, if you've hung on through.
This whole episode with us, first of all, bless.
Second of all, um.
I cannot wait to hear what fanaritos think of this episode.
If they too are as appalled.
If this is someone's favorite episode out there, please.
Let us know. We gotta talk to you. Nothing personal.
I just need to know why. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think it's going to be, but I'm interested to hear the Fandarito's view on just how problematic Stavros was.
Oh, my goodness. I... To say.
Nothing of the caricature of sort of Middle Eastern Greek.
Yeah, it was... But again, the Greek did it.
Take it up with him.
The Greek did.
Yeah, blame John for all of this, but... I mean, the only redeeming thing of this entire episode was that you get to see John play two roles at once. And that is wonderful. John does a wonderful job.
Oh, he was hilarious.
But the payoff, it didn't, like, the payoff wasn't worth that, you know? Like, there was no payoff.
Season 7, episode 18.
Right, they're out of ideas. You know what I mean?
They're like, I don't know, make two of them. Yeah. Do a Greek thing. Yeah.
Do a Greek thing and put, you know, a fake nose on John. And use the Smash Club. Right.
And use the Smash Club.
They.
They fulfilled all of their duties.
We did. We did. We made it happen. Folks, that was a thing we watched.
It was a show we did.
And we appreciate you for sticking with us and for apparently sticking with Full House after that episode and not being like, I'm never watching that again. Yeah. Anyway.
I wonder what the ratings were after this episode here. Right?
What is the IMDB rating on this one?
Yeah.
Um anyway you guys thank you so much fanaritos we love you thank you for listening to our nonsense uh we have so much fun with you guys uh anyway make sure you're liking and subscribing uh to the podcast and uh you can find us on instagram at how rude podcast or email us with your amazing take on the stavros episode uh at how rude tanaritos at gmail.com but fanaritos until next time remember the world is small but the house is full Of Stavros' nose.
It's full of it.
It takes up the whole room.
It's a whole room.
Yeah.
It needs a room of its own. Yeah.
Well, I mean, they're going to build on an addition.
For him, apparently.
There's room in the backyard.
There's room for one more.
Bring the whole village over. Come on over to Harrah's. All right. Harrah's.
Thanks, everybody. Goodbye.
Bye. Bye.
