I FORGAVE my cheating husband… then he did it again! -r/relationships | Reddit Stories | EP3089

0:00 Hey, this is Riley.

0:01 And this is Keon, your favorite OK Storytime host. And we've got some great stories coming up.

0:06 But before we get to that, we have a quick two minute break from the sponsors that keep the show alive.

0:12 I forgave my cheating husband and then he did it again.

0:16 Fool me once.

0:18 My husband and I have been together almost eight years, married for two and a half of those eight years.

0:25 We were happy for one.

0:26 Last May 2019, we separated seemingly overnight. He left me and our toddler and moved back to his hometown. There was never a solid reason given, just that he felt we should never have gotten married.

0:40 Oh, overnight.

0:41 Okay, cool.

0:41 I mean, that's kind of in and of itself a solid reason. If someone feels that, hey, okay, whatever. I don't care why you think that. We're done, right?

0:49 You think that's a solid reason after being married?

0:51 I mean, for someone to say that to you, like, is a solid reason to go, oh, it doesn't even matter why you think that. If he would ever say that to me, I don't think we should be married. Right? I disagree. In July, he changed his tune and wanted to be a family again. Oh. He was still at his job in his hometown, so I decided I would write it out at my job in a different city for a couple of months to build my resume, and then start looking for other jobs in his hometown. Hey, remember that thing he said to you? I wouldn't have forgotten that.

1:20 Uh, but remember that new thing he said to her? He's ready now.

1:23 Sorry, all I hear is the first thing you said.

1:25 Sometimes the last thing you hear is what's... brightest in your mind.

1:29 And he's going, move to me? What are we talking about? You're supposed to be the one coming back to me making a grand gesture. You want me to move to you? After six months of a brutal commute, taking care of our child during the week by myself and driving to his hometown every weekend, interviewing, basically bending over backwards. I finally landed a great job in December. A week before I was to move into the new house we were buying together and start my new job, I found out he had been having an affair.

1:58 What?

1:59 Oh.

2:01 Oh, no.

2:02 That's not fun.

2:04 But what if he told you it didn't mean anything, would you believe him? He begged and pleaded for me to stay with him, said he'd break off all contact, and I foolishly agreed to give him another chance. Two days later, while I was back in the different city and completing my last week of work at my old job, he unblocked her on everything. and liked her pictures on Instagram.

2:28 I was devastated. By the way, this comes from a throwaway account. If you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash okstorytime subreddit. I am Dakota.

2:35 I am Riley.

2:35 We're going to read this story of this poor, poor soul who decided to give their cheating partner another chance. And we're going to have our thoughts. You get to have your own. You can put them in the comments where we can read them. And I will give you a kiss digitally.

2:48 Okay.

2:49 On top of that, he booted me out of the house we were supposed to move in together to. And I had to find a new place to live two days before starting my new job. That also you got for this situation.

3:01 What's happening with the kid? I want to know that.

3:04 We have lived separately ever since. He has said and done so many hateful things in this time period and said so many times that he wants a divorce that I have lost count. Up until a month ago, he was still maintaining contact with his affair partner. I saw her car at his house, took pictures for the lawyers, etc.

3:20 And he admitted he had been talking with her still.

3:23 Oh. Okay, evidence.

3:25 Gotta love this guy digging his own grave. I stopped doing the whole pick-me dance about a month ago and stopped reaching out to him at all besides contact about our child. Now, he has suddenly changed his tune and is desperate to get me back and will do anything. He has unfollowed her on anything, unliked all her pictures, tells me not to give up on our family. And what would you say to that, Riley?

3:48 You know, I believe you. I think I know you. You'll do better this time. Oh, Riley.

3:53 You've never given.

3:53 Me a reason not to think that.

3:55 Oh, Riley.

3:57 What? He wants it now.

3:59 I would genuinely be like, I don't know who you're even talking to. Are you talking to me?

4:05 My skin is transparent.

4:06 I know you couldn't be talking to me.

4:09 Talking to me? Me not give up on our family?

4:11 Me?

4:12 I'm the one who can't give up on the family?

4:15 Interesting. I moved on. I am not interested in pursuing another relationship with him. He has hurt me deeply, and I feel like I have been effed over by him so many times that I have lost count. How can I tell him there isn't a chance without sounding like a completely heartless person? Why is that your concern?

4:32 OP is a CPP if we have not picked up on that yet.

4:35 You tell him you gave up on our family.

4:37 Yeah, you have a reason to be heartless. How many times is he going to rip your heart out of your chest and step on it? How many times are you going to let him do it?

4:45 I still want to be able to maintain a strong co-parenting relationship with him, so I am friendly to him. But he seems to take that as me wanting him back. I have relayed to him my feelings, but they fall on deaf ears. He says he will never stop trying to get our family back together and does not want a divorce. I do. Does anyone have any advice? And there is a small edit to add just to show what kind of person he is. When I asked him about the reason for his sudden change of heart, he said it was because I seemed stronger. Ah, the irony.

5:16 Edit two, he is being served papers in the next one to two weeks. I guarantee the I've changed mask slips off when that happens. I mean, I hope I'm wrong, but I have learned all too well that my gut feelings are usually spot on about him. Hopefully I'll be back with an update in a few months. With the good news that the split is official, there is a final update. Well, it turns out my gut instincts were right.

5:36 All right.

5:36 The entire time he was begging for another chance and promising this time would be different, rolls eyes. He was still sleeping with the affair partner and telling her he loved her and would do anything to make it work with her. Shocker. It didn't even hurt me to find out. I was that unsurprised. It just helped me stop feeling guilty.

5:56 I divorced his sorry behind. I thank the universe every day that he is no longer connected to me in a romantic way. It feels like an enormous weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Shortly after my original post, I met someone by chance at a wedding and fell in love.

6:12 Oh. Wow.

6:13 This person is everything my ex-husband was not. The kindness, the compassion, the respect they show me, not just me, but to my daughter as well, is like something from a dream.

6:22 I never knew love could be so easy. Please don't fall in love too fast, though. Yeah, give him a chance to disappoint you a little bit.

6:32 Yeah, definitely don't rush.

6:33 Don't rush, don't rush.

6:35 Because from the sounds of it, any guy you meet that is halfway decent, you're going to be like, wow, oh my God, I can't believe it. This is so great. This is the greatest guy. No, your husband just really, really sucked.

6:52 Let's not give him a lot of slack, okay? Let's pump the brakes here.

6:56 And that's the end of this story. Let's head to the next one.

6:59 My brother stole my husband's memento, then called it worthless, then give it back. Tell me if I, 28 female, am being the a-hole here, because I'm going out of my mind. My husband, 28 male, and I just bought a house, and we hosted my family for Thanksgiving. For context, I'm originally from Illinois, but my husband and I live in Iowa. My family came on Wednesday and left on Friday, so no one was driving for over four hours on Thanksgiving Day. My older brother volunteered to take the couch in our basement because we only have two guest rooms.

7:32 He was the only one who was down there. No one else went to the basement. I'm guessing that that is some information we definitely need to know.

7:40 No one else was in the basement, okay? It's important that you know this.

7:46 My husband is casually into sports, but he did get some sports memorabilia from his dad and his oppa. He has a certificate of ownership for an NFL team.

7:56 Okay.

7:57 His dad bought shares in the team, and if you do that, you get a certificate in exchange. Dang.

8:03 Okay.

8:04 When my husband went downstairs to put some food in the freezer on Friday night, the certificate was missing.

8:10 Sacre bleu.

8:11 The frame was still there, but the certificate wasn't. What?

8:14 That's weird. It was the ghost. Hmm.

8:18 I asked my brother about it because he was the only one down there, but he said he didn't do anything with the certificate and it is worthless anyways.

8:25 He's like, that certificate was a pile of poop. You can't even get any money for it. And he's like, how do you know that? He's like, I just assume that it's worthless. I just assume that no one would take money for it if you took it to a pawn shop down the road.

8:41 My husband can ask the team to mail another certificate. The certificate isn't sentimental or priceless or anything like that. But it was bothering us because my brother obviously took it. No one else was in our basement except for him. I couldn't understand why he would take it and my husband is pissed about it. By the way, this comes from burner account 113025. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash okay story time subreddit. I'm Savannah. I'm Sophia, and we're here to give some good advice goofily, but we don't have all the answers. We only tell you what we would do, but let us know what you would do down in the comments. As Opie says, I told my brother to just send it back, and up until yesterday, he said

9:17 he didn't do anything. But now he admits he took it, and he said can't give it back because he destroyed it.

9:24 Why?

9:24 I destroyed it. I destroyed the ring. What is the point of this?

9:29 I don't know.

9:30 He just wanted money. And then he got mad. He wanted money. Tried to sell it. Realized he couldn't sell it because it was worth nothing. And then got mad and destroyed it.

9:38 And then admitted to it.

9:39 Yeah.

9:40 Whatever.

9:40 I destroyed it.

9:42 Stupid.

9:42 Because they can just get another one.

9:43 Yeah.

9:44 That's the thing.

9:45 He told me it's worthless anyway. My husband is obviously mad at my brother. I don't even watch sports and my husband barely watches. He would never destroy something from another team though. He doesn't even talk about football or any sports with my family. I don't know why.

10:00 My brother would do that.

10:01 My parents and my other brother told me to tell my husband to let it go because the certificate can be replaced.

10:07 Okay, but that's not the point. The action is weird.

10:10 Yeah, the action of one, lying. Two, taking it. Three, calling it worthless.

10:17 Yeah.

10:17 And then for destroying it.

10:19 Yeah, it's like someone breaks my arm and they're like, it's fine, it'll heal.

10:23 Like, just let it go. You can just get a new arm. My dad said people put too much stock in having this certificate, but that's not the point. Am I the a-hole for telling my brother he should apologize to my husband? I couldn't believe my dad tried to act like this wasn't a big deal. I'm so embarrassed.

10:39 I apologize to my husband because I'm embarrassed, but he told me it's not my fault. Am I being the a-hole for being so upset with my brother about a piece of paperwork and telling him to apologize? My family says I'm making a mountain out of a molehill and I would like a gut check. Be truthful. I will admit if I'm wrong. Yeah, no, you're not wrong. You're not wrong.

10:59 It's weird that everyone's defending this. Yeah, just saying, oh, that's just little Jimmy does that.

11:05 He's just a little scamp, that boy. Yeah, like, no, he stole from a family member.

11:11 Sounds like Jimmy's a little thief.

11:12 And then completely just destroyed the evidence.

11:15 Like, that's the real bad part.

11:18 And he's also, these people were like, I think in their 30s? Yeah, they're older. It doesn't say how old the brother is. So it doesn't say how old the brother is, but both Opie and her husband, are 28 okay so potentially this is like a younger 20 something or maybe even minor kid i mean hopefully it's not older because that's embarrassing i mean it's embarrassing either way but still there is an update some things i wanted to clarify my father-in-law got the certificate in 2022 he gave to my husband to display in our basement after he my father-in-law downsized and no longer had room for it it has fun value for fans of the team but it is not worth any money. My husband said my brother would be well aware that the certificate had

12:02 no resale slash monetary value. My husband told me the certificate can't be sold. It can be transferred to someone else if the person who originally bought it passes away. But you aren't allowed to sell it to someone else even if it was worth money. My family is from Illinois and I was born there and grew up there.

12:19 I moved to Iowa for a job after I graduated from college. My husband's family is from Iowa. None of them have ever lived in Wisconsin. My husband's dad was able to get a replacement certificate. Apparently there is an entire department that manages those certificates and his dad was able to contact the team and get one no problem.

12:37 I was still angry and kept confronting my brother about what happened. I kept asking him why he would destroy something that belonged to my husband like that. I'm asking you to. That wasn't a demand.

12:47 I'm asking.

12:48 I'm asking. There was a question mark after that.

12:50 Please?

12:51 There's a little bit left.

12:53 Oh, boy.

12:53 I mean, it's just weird. I don't understand the reasoning behind this.

12:56 Nor do I. It seems like... Yeah.

12:59 Why?

12:59 It's like it's been resolved, but also not. Yeah, it's been resolved, but the reasoning doesn't make any sense.

13:04 So really.

13:05 i'm still gonna be pissed either way still don't like your brother yeah i fear he wouldn't say anything at first besides that it is a worthless piece of paperwork my dad and others in the family defended my brother saying people put too much stock in having the certificate that's not the point go destroy their stuff yeah go destroy their you know i don't know trophies or destroy their base and then say oh well you can replace that yeah it was ugly anyway it didn't belong to my brother and he was a guest My brother finally said the certificate was stupid and he was mad at my husband for having it and just snapped.

13:39 Your brother's crazy.

13:41 I'm mad that my brother-in-law has a sports certificate and I hate him for it and I'm gonna go destroy it.

13:53 Yeah.

13:53 That is, I don't even know what to say to that.

13:55 You've got issues. Get help? You've got issues.

13:57 You've got issues for sure. But he wouldn't apologize or admit he was wrong. I'm embarrassed even though my husband said it isn't my fault. I don't watch football so I don't understand why my family is acting this way. My husband only casually watches and I can tell he is hurt and angry about what happened. I've been pretty low contact with my family since it happened. I haven't spent any holidays with them since it happened and on the rare times we talk, It is surface-level stuff or small talk.

14:22 Dang.

14:22 So he really destroyed your relationship with your family all over being a weirdo.

14:27 Yeah, and the fact that your family was on that fine for that is crazy. It is a red flag that they're on his side for what? Like, yeah, I can get a new one, but why did he do it.

14:37 In the first place?

14:39 To, like, prove a point?

14:40 Why is everyone okay with this? Yeah.

14:42 It's driving me crazy.

14:43 It's so weird.

14:44 And that's the end of this story. Let's head to the next one.

14:48 My wife stayed out for hours with no text, so I tested her friends. A plus for effort. My wife, 39 female, and I, 40 male, have been married for eight years and have a four-year-old son. We both work full-time and have a good handle on household duties and expectations. My wife has been really busy at her job the past six weeks or so. Her job does a lot of seasonal work and this time of the year is among their busiest. They have a lot of seasonal workers they hire to help and they held a party slash happy hour for them last week. The week before the party, my wife was at a work conference for four days while I was holding down the home front. The day of the party, she told me that she would only

15:26 stay until six to seven. so that she could be home for her son's bedtime. I went about our normal evening routine with her son and got a text from my wife at about 7.15 telling me that she was just wrapping up and would be home soon. I put her son to bed and started doing some cleaning and the next thing I know it's 9pm and my wife isn't home. So I text her to see if she's okay.

15:45 She calls back a few minutes later and tells me she stopped talking with people, but we'll be heading home soon. I was a little frustrated and annoyed by this. By the way, this comes from White Lie Amarillo, and if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash okay story time subreddit. I'm Sophia.

16:00 And I'm Savannah.

16:01 And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do. So let us know what you would do in the comments. And OP says, when she got home, I told her that I would appreciate a little more communication from her if her plans are going to change like that. She got defensive and told me that I'm not supporting her and that she needs to feel like she has the freedom and agency to do social things without me policing and parenting her and that she lost track of time.

16:23 This is so funny because I've had this exact same conversation with my boyfriend before and his response was, I'm so sorry. That's totally valid. I'll do that. It's not that hard. I told her that 90 minutes is a long time to lose track of, and that it takes 20 seconds to send a text. She got mad and went off to bed. That weekend, she had a few friends over for cocktails. My wife was inside doing something, so I went out to the patio and said hi to her friends. I then asked them if I could get their opinion on a disagreement my wife and I had.

16:53 I told them the story about my wife's work party, but lied, and told them that it was me that stayed out without updating my plans. They started going off on me for not respecting my wife enough to give her an update after 90 minutes. And that even though it's important for parents to have social time, I needed to recognize that the only way I can do that is by my wife staying on with our son. They all told me I owe my wife an apology and that I need to do better. Any final thoughts? I mean, to me personally, I don't really feel like it's a big deal just because I like I will keep someone in this situation before. would where you have plans with someone and then they're like oh yeah this time oh

17:29 yeah and then you're waiting around you're like well I could have done something.

17:32 Else yeah but I feel like that you know what were they what did they have plans to do anything yeah I don't think they had any plans to do anything it's just like he just wanted her home for some reason but she's like out at like you know an event.

17:44 So I don't know if my boyfriend says hey can we like if I say hey can you know are you coming at this time I'll see you at you know nine or like I'll see you at eight and he's like Yeah, okay, I'll come right after this thing and then shows up a couple hours later. I'm like, well... Well, if it's, like, over two hours, I'd be like, okay.

18:02 Because she said that she was going to come over around, like, seven and then she came, like, she didn't text until nine and then it still wasn't home.

18:08 Yeah.

18:09 I don't know.

18:09 I think it's rude.

18:10 I mean, yeah. I think that is very rude. But I've, yeah. My situation has always been, like, if there were plans and we were planning on doing something and then the person, like, You know, I say, oh, come over at 6.

18:22 And then they don't come over. And at 6, they aren't here. Text them like, hey, come in, whatever. Oh, yeah, just doing a few things. Be there by 6.30. Okay. And then 6.30 comes around. Oh, just doing a few more things. Be there by 7.

18:33 You know, and then it's 9 p.m. And it's like, okay, I could have done other things. Like, that's the difference between there was like a plan and there wasn't.

18:41 But I don't know. I mean. Hanging out with your partner is a plan.

18:45 Yeah.

18:45 Even if you're married.

18:46 Yeah.

18:46 It's tough on that.

18:47 I guess.

18:48 But the thing is, it wouldn't have been a huge deal if she had just said, you're right. I'm so sorry. I'll do that next time.

18:53 Yeah.

18:53 And then it's not wrong.

18:54 That's the other thing. Her trying to argue about it is kind of like, eh.

18:58 But OP continues. In the middle of their admonishment of me, my wife came out and asked what we were talking about. One of her friends said that I had just told them about the party the previous week and they were telling me I needed to apologize. My wife looked confused and said, but I was the one who had the work party. And OP's just sitting there like, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw.

19:17 I was sitting there with a little smirk on my face and my wife got pissed. Her friends did too. Her friends told me I was a knucklehead for lying to them and tricking them. I asked them if their advice for me still applies to my wife. And they all got defensive and tried to change their stories. That's crazy. Uh-oh.

19:34 My wife got upset because I embarrassed her. Well, clearly her friends will back her up no matter what she does, so... Yeah.

19:41 Yeah, I'd be like, oh, well, actually.

19:43 Advice for me, but not for she.

19:48 Yeah, I... mean, he was just trying to prove a point.

19:51 Yeah. I don't know. I also would be annoyed if my partner did this and was like, oh, well, I asked your friend and they actually said, like, why are we involving them? Yeah. It's like you need like validation from my friends. Like, don't go to my friends to get them on your side. But I also think it's silly that she's not listening to you.

20:09 Yes.

20:09 So I also agree. Everyone sucks here, honestly. Yeah, I'd say that too.

20:13 And that's the end of this story. Let's head to the next one.

20:16 My husband wants to postnup after I raised our three kids.

20:21 What if I said no?

20:22 For the last year or so, my husband has been talking about wanting us to sign a postnup for dividing our assets in case we were ever to split up. We have been married for eight years and have three young kids. Neither of us had any money when we got together, and my husband started his career after we got married. I'm a stay-at-home mom and have not worked full-time since our oldest was born six years ago, and not at all since my youngest was born two years ago.

20:49 My husband has built a very successful career over the years, and I'm very proud of him. His reasoning for the post-nup is that he has worked very hard to get where he is, and his income will go up significantly over the next several years.

21:01 I'm just gonna pause you quick. Pause you real quick, bud. Why do you think that you were able to work so hard when you had kids? Was it maybe because you weren't? paying for childcare? Was it maybe because your wife was at home taking care of your kids so that you could work so much? But she's not allowed to have any of your money? She's not owed any of that? That's ridiculous.

21:25 Guess not. He handles most of our finances and all of our investments. He's a financial advisor and says that he is making sacrifices now so that he can have a great retirement later.

21:36 Oh, and I didn't make sacrifices when I gave up my career?

21:39 Right.

21:40 And if we were to split up down the road... He would have to work much longer and basically have to start over on those investment accounts if we had to split everything evenly by then.

21:51 And what happens if you get this post-nup and you split up to OP?

21:56 He says he did this himself and that I didn't support him so he thinks that he should get to keep the majority of his earnings and investments.

22:05 I would divorce him right now. Without a post-nuff. Yeah, I would divorce him right now.

22:10 By the way, this comes from SuddenSide7712. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash ok story time subreddit. I'm Savannah.

22:17 I'm Sophia.

22:18 And we're here to give some good advice in a little goofy way, but we don't have all the answers. We only tell you what we would do. So let us know what you would do down in the comments. As OP says, I'm irritated and hurt that he thinks I haven't supported him in his career. When I asked him why he thinks that, He said it was because I never went out and got referrals or sent people his way to invest money with him.

22:39 What?

22:40 Because I was taking care of your kids.

22:42 Yeah, what do you think I was doing all that time? I was just sitting around, you know, just putzing around.

22:48 In my opinion, staying home and raising our kids and taking care of our home is how I support him.

22:53 He never has.

22:54 To take the day off work if the kids are sick. or worry about the million things that go on into keeping a house and doing the day-to-day stuff that goes into parenting and housekeeping. Yeah, it is a full-time job.

23:06 Yep.

23:07 I'm not saying he does nothing at home, but putting the kids to bed sometimes and boxing up leftovers, not to be confused with cleaning the kitchen, after dinner is not that much. He does some of the outside work, feeds the dogs, and shovels snow as well.

23:21 Besides, I'm a mom.

23:22 I almost never am rubbing elbows with people that can invest- Just hanging around others.

23:28 Stay-at-home moms.

23:29 He also says that I should be home with our kids right now. We both agree on this, and he wants me to start working when they are all in school full-time. He already talked to a lawyer and proposed splitting our assets as they are right now, 50-50. He would pay off the cars, he would either sell or buy me out of the house along with a certain monthly payment. Am I being unreasonable that I do not want to sign this? I think it's unreasonable that he wants me to sign this now and not even later on when I'm at least working. I also feel so unappreciated.

24:01 It's very clear that because the work I do for our family doesn't come with a paycheck, it doesn't mean as much. It also seems so selfish and I'm hurt that this is his money and not a life we have built together.

24:14 I also think it's insane to be this like headstrong or just like this gung ho about a postnup and saying, well, when we get divorced, when like, it's like, are we getting divorced? Really?

24:27 It's like he's planning it. I think honestly, truthfully, I have a conspiracy theory.

24:31 Yeah.

24:32 I think he's cheating.

24:33 Yeah, I think so. Now I think that too. Now that you said that, I think that too. I think he's cheating.

24:39 Unfortunately, I think there's an affair happening here.

24:41 And he's like, well, when?

24:43 I mean, if.

24:44 I mean, some weeks.

24:47 I told him I wouldn't consider signing, emphasis on consider, until the kids are in school and I'm working and we have done a fair amount of couples counseling. I see so much more sense in investing in the longevity of our relationship than in the end of it, particularly when we aren't even on the verge of a divorce.

25:04 Yeah, the fact that that just came out of nowhere and he's just like.

25:07 I just want to be prepared just in case this happens. It's like, huh?

25:11 Why?

25:11 Why?

25:11 Like, I mean, I understand you want to protect your money and everything like that, but it shows that you care so much less for me.

25:17 Yeah, it's just about the money. It's all about the money, money, money. Update.

25:23 Well, I finally got him to agree to counseling, so that feels big. I've been asking him to go for a long time. I made an appointment at the community college to get classes started next semester and a consultant with a lawyer to learn more about my options. I wanted to add context to my previous post. I wrote it after a big argument and as much as I wanted to be fair and tell it as unbiased as I could, the comments made me realize I didn't do a good job. First of all, I know for a fact he's not cheating.

25:49 Okay.

25:50 It was just a theory. If you say so. If you say so. It was a theory.

25:53 I'll take it back. I'll take the blame on that one. I know lots of people think that and end up being wrong. But I know him. I know his habits and schedules. And I know that's not happening. Never been a suspicion for me. Second, the reason he first brought up a post-nup over a year ago was because of a conversation we had about something he heard me tell my sister. She was talking to me about her then relationship and some issues that felt familiar to me. I told her things don't get better just because you get married and in fact, they will get much harder before or if they get better. He asked about this and I was reluctant to tell him because I knew it would hurt his feelings. The first year of my marriage

26:32 was hard. I now know it was largely due to him dealing with some big depression slash anxiety symptoms and linking them to being married instead of addressing the root cause. Things got better and we both got happier. Anyways. Through personal therapy, I learned to forgive my past self for self-abandonment, basically.

26:52 And that two opposing things can be true at the same time. I love him deeply and love the life we have now. And the woman I am now would not have tolerated that relationship if dropped into the same situation again. I told him all of this and all he took away. from that was i wish i hadn't married you.

27:10 Oh oh yeah well i could have gotten that from the fact that you were trying to plan your divorce no i'm thinking like like what he pointed out like i don't think that's like his opinion oh i think like what he took away from the conversation was like so you wish you never married yeah i don't know Which is not the case, but he is understandably hurt and can't get past it. So if anything, he is worried that I secretly want to leave him. About me sacrificing my career to stay home with the kids, he brought up that he encouraged me to get back to school and get a degree while we were first married slash dating, but I was never motivated enough to put myself in a good financial situation.

27:47 Which is true if I'm being honest. I had dropped out of college in my early 20s, we are 31, got married at 22, because I didn't know what I wanted to do. Struggled with grades and felt like I was wasting money and getting nowhere. A big regret for me and something I'm embarrassed of. Well, girl, you can.

28:03 There's community colleges. There's all kinds of stuff. And now you have money.

28:06 It is never too late.

28:08 Yeah. You go to college. I mean, maybe it'll be a little weird with like some people not your age in it. But I don't know.

28:15 I like community college, especially. It is so diverse age wise.

28:20 Yeah, it's true.

28:21 Um all right let's get into it let's do it i started school again when pregnant with my oldest but stopped after she was born i did however have a swim lesson business that i loved i was really good at it and it would never support a family alone the way it was then but we were married and working together financially i quit before my last was born because of some new complications with permits and well having three kids he still wants me to sign a post-nup is open to a counter proposal and thinks his proposal is super generous and that he would be where he is financially with or without me. I mean, he's not wrong, but that is just not a way to say it. Yeah, I mean, it sounds like he's pretty bad at the

29:02 words part of the relationship. Yeah. I'm still mad, and so is he, but at least we can hopefully make progress in therapy. He is an excellent dad that dotes on our kids. He does help around the house, even though we get into it about that. I don't want anyone thinking he's a bum because he is the least lazy person I know. There's no way I'm 100% in the right, so I'm ready to hear it if this info changes anything. Well, OP, I don't think that this is hard because I know that he has worked all this time and has now become successful and has supported you through all this. And, you know... that's great. But the fact that he's kind of making you feel bad about it.

29:44 He can support you all the, oh, he wants. But the fact that he just doesn't recognize anything that you've done is very.

29:50 Concerning to me.

29:51 Yeah.

29:52 It also concerns me because you raised his kids.

29:55 Yep.

29:56 And your kids.

29:58 Your children.

29:58 Yeah.

29:59 You have raised.

29:59 Like people pay child care to do that.

30:01 Yeah. It's expensive.

30:03 I've been there.

30:04 Savannah's been paid for that.

30:05 Yeah.

30:05 So I mean it's doable and especially with like what you're doing. I think I think what you do is you do you do what you want as in like career wise. Like maybe go back to community college or maybe I think you know get certifications or something. Yeah. Like You know, start doing things that you enjoy instead of your life being catered to what he wants.

30:25 And like also just like centered around kids only.

30:28 Yes.

30:28 Yeah.

30:29 I think definitely doing your own thing. But I think also therapy will help you guys because you are going to go do couples counseling. I think you're going to get a lot of insight there because I feel like there's a lot of miscommunication happening between you two. And I think the therapist would probably straighten that up.

30:44 And that's the end of this story. Let's head to the next one.

30:47 Hey, it's Smiley Riley here from OK Storytime. We're going to get back to these stories, but here's three minutes worth of ads from our sponsors.

30:55 My husband refused to pay my sister back after she saved her son. Uh, excuse me? I, 29 female, and my husband, 35 male, owed my sister, 31 female, a substantial sum of money. Our son, 5 male, has a disability. Not mentioning what, because it isn't relevant. Our insurance covers treatment, but there's better treatment available if you have the money.

31:16 We did not. However, my sister and her husband are very wealthy. Attorney and data analysis. They agreed to pay for the series of treatments and we would pay them back interest-free over a long, long.

31:29 Period of time.

31:30 That loan was nearly three years ago. My son enjoys a much higher quality of life as a result and we made every repayment until the vid hit. Long story short, both of us lost our jobs and we haven't made a payment since. We are both working again, but for much less money, and we weren't on great money before.

31:45 My husband's grandfather passed away recently, and every grandchild was left 10K. My husband wants to get a better car, ours is junk, but I think we should pay it to my sister. By the way, this comes from AntiqueBumblebee49, and if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash okstorytime subreddit. I'm Sophia.

32:02 And I'm Savannah.

32:03 And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we don't have all the answers.

32:06 We only know what we do.

32:07 So let us know what you would do in the comments. And Opie says, this isn't even a third of what we currently owe her. And I don't know when we are going to be able to restart payments on the debt. My husband disagrees because he thinks we need it more than they do. I don't disagree that we do sort of need a better car, but I feel like it's wrong to not pay someone back just because they can spare the money. My sister and her husband don't know anything about this and have not been pressuring us to restart payments. They're both just like, pay us when you can.

32:36 Am I the a-hole if I insist we pay my sister? I have thoughts, but what do you think?

32:40 I'm thinking you should talk to the sister about this. I feel like be like, Hey, we need a new, we just got like 10 K.

32:48 Yeah.

32:48 We just got 10 K from a passing. I would like to pay you back because I know we still owe a lot of money and I really want to give that to you, but we also need a new car. So I am just wondering what you feel would be fair to you guys. I, I, I also feel like you guys do kind of need a new car.

33:10 If your car is junk. I mean, yes. Yes, talk to sister.

33:12 I agree with that.

33:13 I feel like you guys need a new car. If your sister and her husband are not pressuring you guys to pay it back. then just keep paying the little installments.

33:24 Maybe you're not.

33:24 Paying it as efficiently as you were because you lost your jobs and got new kind of worse ones, but I feel like the car would help you guys get maybe better jobs or just, I don't know, get back on your feet a little bit more to help pay them quicker.

33:40 If your car is about to break down and is not a not gonna work and it's just old and maybe like you know it's a gas hog or something then yeah okay then yeah but i would still i don't know.

33:52 Talk to her yeah be transparent i'd still have the conversation with the sister be like hey where are we you're still planning on paying you back that is not not happening because.

34:01 I think it would be worse if you just went and bought a new car and then they see yeah and it's like okay.

34:07 Yeah, I think you're transparent. I feel like they would be fine with you. Like, this isn't a luxury vacation. This is a needed purchase. Edit. Please stop suggesting the car is unsafe. It's not unsafe. It's 12 years old. The air con doesn't work, and it's a tiny three-door that's hard to get our son into and out of, but its miles are low for its age as we live in an urban area and we've properly maintained it. Yeah, it's a junk car worth maybe $ 1, 500, but it's not unsafe.

34:34 Wait, three doors?

34:35 Yeah.

34:36 How does that work?

34:36 I don't know.

34:37 My husband wants a new car because since our son was born, we haven't had a single luxury item. Between medical bills, managing his diet, healthy food is pricey, and childcare, we have very little left over. I totally get why my husband wants another car. We didn't plan on life being like this. But once we pay off my sister, we can finally start saving for a house. A place we can call our own. Edit two, I do think that unfortunately I may not have been clear enough in my wording. Many posts and DMs seem to be of the belief we are destitute with a car about to fall apart. This is not the case. Our car is 2009.

35:09 It's old, but really it's not likely to pass away anytime soon. It is low miles as we live in the city and it's only really driven to my job. We are in walking distance of most places we want to go. Also, my sister is the only bill we cannot pay. Everything else is up to date. We paid her rent, even through the bid, because we did not want to owe it later. We're also skilled workers and not on minimum wage. However, childcare, good medical care, and proper nutrition, which our son needs, is very expensive. We hope that either one of us can find better employment in our qualified field soon, or one of us could get a second job, which a second car would be really helpful for.

35:47 At the moment, restarting payments to my sister is not possible. And I don't think holding the 10K and just paying her per month is good either. If it's going on the debt, why string it out? Yeah, I mean, it's not like it's... It's not going anywhere.

36:00 There's no interest.

36:00 Yeah, there's no interest. For those suggesting I speak with my sister, that's pointless. I know she will always tell me to keep the money. Oh, then it's not pointless.

36:08 Yeah.

36:10 Like I get you want to pay your sister back. But in the long run, I think your husband is right. I think having a car, even if you're saying that your other car will still function all right, then keep both. And then you have two cars that you guys can go to jobs with.

36:25 Yeah, if your sister is fine with you doing that, then just do it. I don't know why, you know, the death's still going to be there, yes. But if you need that money to, you know, survive and live in this world, then, you know. And she's not, you know, she doesn't want you to be without. You know, that's not the point of paying her back is, you know, for you to be in squalor. She did it so, you know, like she helped you out and is not expecting it all because it's a big chunk of money.

36:53 I just think ultimately you will have a better like quality of life, which often leads to better opportunities.

37:01 I agree.

37:02 She is a very generous person. That's why I don't want to take advantage of her. You would not be taking advantage. Especially if you talked to her. Asking the opinion of a person who would give you the shirt off their back to keep you warm is manipulative. Because you already know, even if they would prefer to be paid back, they would never prioritize themselves over you. However, these comments have made me realize why I am so upset at my husband. I think perhaps unintentionally I feel he has been taking advantage of my sister. And not treating this loan like a loan, but more like a favor we may repay at our leisure. If this was a credit card or owed to a bank, he would be desperate to repay it. But because it's my sister,

37:37 and she is affluent, he has not been treating it appropriately. For the two years before the vid, I made every single payment. He didn't contribute once. That's not okay. That's weird. Yeah, this is a joint debt for our joint son. Yet only I have paid on it. That needs to be a conversation.

37:55 Yeah, why is he not contributing to that? And then just being like, oh, we could use this for a new car.

38:00 That's alarming. I accepted this because I earned more money and he would use his spare money pre the vid on an occasional family outing or meal out. This is the first time he has had money he could put down on his son's medical expenses. And he wants a car when our current one is perfectly serviceable for another few years. He agrees that a new car is not necessary.

38:20 What do you think Kobe should do?

38:21 Yeah, I didn't realize there was this predicament with your husband.

38:24 Yeah, that's a separate issue.

38:26 Yeah, now I'm kind of weary of hubby and why he's kind of mooching off this. Like, kind of mooching off of you, for sure. And kind of your sister as well.

38:38 You know?

38:39 And also, if you don't need a new car, you know, you don't need to get one. I don't know.

38:44 I still kind of agree about the car. I still think that having two cars when you're both working is super helpful. But that's just another, you know, another bill you're going to have to pay, though.

38:55 It's not like, you know, I don't know if you'll find a great car for $ 10, 000.

38:59 Agreed.

39:00 Agreed.

39:01 But, you know, if I don't know, it would just have to it would depend.

39:05 You need to do this together.

39:07 That's for sure. You guys need to discuss this and come to an agreement together, not one spend the money and the other one be like, oh, well, OK.

39:14 Agreed. A little bit left. To those who say it's his inheritance, you're absolutely right. However, I'm not sure I want to be with a man who would prioritize a luxury item over paying off his son's medical bills. I think that's a little bit of an unfair statement. It's not a $ 10, 000 car when you have a junkie car that has like maybe two more years on it. I don't think that's a luxury item. Like I feel like he's saying this is kind of a necessity. Yeah.

39:42 I mean, I think a new car would help you guys out.

39:44 Yeah.

39:44 Like, I don't think that's... I think when, like, something that helps you out, I don't think is a luxury item. Like, to me, a luxury item is... I'm going to go buy, like, a... Michael Kors bag. Like you both have a car that you use for work. And he's like, I'm going to buy this like motorcycle motorcycle. Like that to me is more of a luxury item. Like this is something that you would use for work. That's not to me. Yeah.

40:07 Especially a 10K car. You're not getting.

40:10 Well, I don't know if he he would just put that towards it. I don't know if the car would actually be like 10K.

40:16 Yeah.

40:16 We don't know.

40:17 This loan wasn't for something trivial. Our son was nonverbal. He can now talk. Oh, wow. Every time I hear his beautiful voice say an actual word, I want to cry. Today, my sister still pays for the out-of-pocket portion of his speech therapy. However, this is a gift to her nephew. I will not be responding to any further comments or posting an update, but thank you to everyone who helped me see the issue more clearly. I feel I am better equipped to discuss this with my husband now. No, tell me more. Tell me more stuff. Oh my god, what happened?

40:45 I don't know.

40:46 I'm not like... It's not that I'm on your husband's side, but I think there is a little bit more... in this issue. Yeah. And I... Yeah. I just don't see it as like a luxury item in the way that you're viewing it.

40:58 Yeah.

40:58 I don't think it's like a.

40:59 I don't feel like it's a selfishly motivated... Yes, I agree. I think this would help both of you. Yeah.

41:05 It's not just gonna, you know, help him and then you're just stuck, you know, doing this. But also, what I'm afraid of is that he's gonna buy this car and you're gonna have to pay the bills for it.

41:15 I hope not.

41:17 Because.

41:19 From the past, it doesn't look like he's really paying anything, so he wants to get this item, but then who's going to actually pay for it?

41:27 Yeah.

41:27 And that's the end of this story. Let's head to the next one.

41:31 I got stuck on vacation with my ex, and my friend is making a move on her.

41:36 Ha-cha-cha!

41:38 So I, 23 male, am stuck on vacation with five people. Ex-girlfriend, 22 female, myself, best friend, his ex-girlfriend... and another guy who's doing his best to put up with the situation.

41:51 Alright, got it.

41:53 Here we go. OP, ex-girlfriend, best friend, best friend ex, and guy.

41:59 That's it.

42:01 Before you ask, why would you go on vacation with an ex-girlfriend? Everything we all paid for ahead of time, and it was all non-refundable. Also, I had the idea everyone could be mature and we could all hang out and go to the beach, etc.

42:16 Oops.

42:17 Come on.

42:18 Not in your 20s.

42:19 Yeah, come on.

42:20 So the situation is thus. My then-girlfriend moved to New York City to live with her friends. I asked her about two months before if she wanted to remain serious because I understand long-distance relationships are hard and take a lot of work, but I only live about two hours away and would come down to the city every weekend.

42:39 But about a month into her being away, she was avoiding talking about anything serious, claiming that she was getting really busy getting situated.

42:47 How about she is getting real busy getting situated?

42:51 I never pressed the issue because I'm a really laid back person and figured someone will bring problems up when they arise slash feel comfortable. Fast forward a few weeks, we break up under her excuse of I'm too mature for her. I don't think too mature is a bad excuse, you know? I would rather they be too mature than not mature.

43:10 It depends on the mature. Oh, you don't want to be spontaneous and go do things. Is it that mature or too mature where you don't really show parts of yourself? I don't like people that are too mature because that's just... I can't have fun with you. I can't make you laugh. I have to be the one that always makes you laugh.

43:27 You can't bring anything funny to the table.

43:29 Well, does mature mean like serious as in like you don't take jokes or something?

43:34 That might be what the context I'm looking at, but I'm not. I don't have the full picture either.

43:38 Well, she says that I'm too mature for her. She doesn't have those romantic feelings for me and never has or has a spicy sleep drive for me. To top it off, she used the line while crying. I wish I had met you 10 years from now.

43:53 Oh, you know why. She wants to get around, see some people, have a lot of experiences, then settle down with a person like OP because OP is husband material. But she's having an issue right now. Not right now. I need to go see the world.

44:09 I've been through the dating system since the beginning of high school and have experienced a lot. But this is extremely hard to figure out. I just accept it and try to move on. The moving on thing, I'm only about halfway there, but I'm trying my best and it'll eventually happen. By the way, this comes from Captain Jack Harkness.

44:27 And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash okay story time subreddit. I'm Savannah.

44:31 I'm Riley.

44:32 And we're here to give some good advice, Goofly. But we do not have all the answers. We only tell you what we would do. But let us know what you would do down.

44:39 In the comments. As if he says, now for vacation time. We all head out on this trip and I suck up my issues slash feelings for the.

44:48 Sake of sanity. Not everyone here is capable of that, but I figured we could work through it too. Meanwhile, though, the entire time we've been here, she treats me like I broke up with her. Mean little offhand comments ignoring me when trying to attempt simple conversation, basic evasion tactics, etc., So she, you're too mature. She's too immature. So how do you deal with this?

45:11 You don't. You break up and you don't go to vacation with each other.

45:14 Now, I would understand if I was being unreasonable or clingy, but I haven't done anything this entire vacation besides being a little grumpy one night. But I didn't take anything out on anyone, mainly because it was a long, long drive to vacation and I don't do well in cars for that long. I don't see any real problem, but everything here between myself and my ex and my best friend and his ex has just been coming up over and over again. Well, yeah, what else do you talk about?

45:41 That's the only thing you guys have in common.

45:44 That is true.

45:44 Every time I hang out with my brother's friends, all they talk about is the girls they dated in high school and just that same conversation over and over again. Seems like the friend group is in a similar vibe to that.

45:56 I'm such a drama-free person, so I can't stand this nonsense. I am contemplating buying a plane or train ticket to leave and go home just for my sanity, but they are really expensive and would cost twice the price of the trip we took. Plus, I wouldn't get my money back. So I'm stuck on a financial versus sanity vacation and really just need to figure out if there is something I can do to either not lose my mind or fix this issue that I'm 99% sure isn't my fault in the slightest. What do you guys think? this is hard should he get out of there i just wouldn't have went on the vacation i would have been like taking the loss like i mean why would you sit there and try to suck it up and be mature when obviously i don't know i don't think it i

46:39 don't know if it really ended in a good way no this.

46:43 Was an immature thing i understand you wanted to save money and everything was non-refundable that's sort of what happened that's the consequence of being in a relationship with someone you know you Another scenario, you get a dog with someone and then you break up. Who keeps the dog? It's like one of those things. You just kind of have to say, oh, well, or buy her part of vacation out and have a vacation. You shouldn't have went with her.

47:04 Yeah.

47:04 And your friend also. Like, why would you go on like an ex thing? Like an ex vacation? I would hate that.

47:11 Oh, dude, you know what would be funny? If you brought your ex and my ex and we both had a good time together.

47:16 Huh?

47:16 We love the good old days.

47:18 There's an update. Almost one week later. So, before I talked about how I was losing my mind by mistakenly going on an already paid-for vacation with my ex-girlfriend, my best friend, and his ex-girlfriend, I felt I needed to post a follow-up since I didn't comment on the last thread at all.

47:35 Welp.

47:36 I had this aching feeling I didn't mention between my best friend and my ex. I thought the whole time they had this weird connection going on.

47:44 What?

47:45 Your ex and your best friend? No! Oh, that's not your friend.

47:50 Now are they going to switch partners?

47:51 Oh my gosh. So, Love Island.

47:55 It's Love Island.

47:57 It is Love Island.

47:59 After all, I helped her get a job at his workplace because it was a field I knew she wanted to get into.

48:05 Figured.

48:06 Might help. So I stay up late last night and pretend I am too wasted than I am just so that maybe they'd let their guard down. Yes, I know this isn't the best way to go about it, but I needed to know in this way I won't have lies spinning around me. Caught my best friend sneaking into my ex-girlfriend's room. I am still in love with her and he knows this. I quickly texted him to get the F out of her room if he wanted to maintain any bit of friendship with me, which at this point is almost assuredly no. I'm dumping him from best friend and friend status. He then came in through the front door in order to fool me and say that I just came in. BS, I checked her outside window and it had been opened. He's sneaking through the window.

48:49 That's crazy.

48:51 It's crazy that you helped assist this too, by the way. You got her a nice job with your best friend.

48:57 Called her out on it and after consistently saying no that nothing was happening, she admitted it.

49:03 Admitted some really personal things about herself. Nothing to do with me, but just other dirt pickle human beings. That I kind of already knew deep down. We talked for hours into the morning.

49:15 Um.

49:15 I don't know, what what do you do in this situation would you are you like being like vacation over we're done or.

49:22 Yeah best friend we're done because he went deliberately behind your back another thing remember that random guy that was there yes what is he even doing.

49:32 There i don't know truthfully i.

49:37 It's two ex-couples.

49:39 Is he just in the corner hiding from everything? Why did he agree to.

49:43 Go to this?

49:44 I mean, I guess some people would go for the plot. But yikes, I am not getting in the middle of any of this.

49:50 You could either get.

49:51 Back with his ex and make it even. Then you guys can still be friends. And then I'll add some more emotional turmoil. People are saying good grief. Shouldn't have told your best friend about your ex-girlfriend's skills. Man, she's the past tense. Let them live.

50:07 See, that's what I'm thinking. Like, as much as it wasn't refundable and blah, blah, blah, all this stuff.

50:13 If you, you know, I would never put myself in a weird, awkward situation just because.

50:18 Of, you know, money and stuff.

50:20 I'd be like, whatever.

50:20 I'm just going to eat the money. Like, you know, just eat it.

50:23 It's fine.

50:24 I'd rather not make it awkward or weird or whatever. Like, I'm not going to enjoy myself on this vacation. It's going to be weird and awkward. That's not a vacation. It's just like a weird setup. I'm not doing that. I don't care how much I.

50:34 Taking your vacation time and torturing yourself.

50:37 Yeah. Like, what kind of vacation is that?

50:40 I want to go on vacation with people I like, not people who I just broke up with.

50:44 Anyway, we're going to keep going. Then one morning, I wanted to see if it was happening again. Also needed my phone charger. So I went out to where he was sleeping in the living room, and he was awake and confronted me about it. I went no holds barred into him about how he was a crappy friend, defending himself by blaming me. Then, at the end of the conversation, he told me, we wouldn't F while you were here because it would be too loud.

51:12 Oh, wow.

51:13 Thanks, friend.

51:14 Ooh, that's not a friend.

51:17 Yikes.

51:17 Too loud, really.

51:19 I went ballistic and threw a glass of water at the wall. I almost left, but needless to say, if I didn't attempt restraint, I might be in a South Carolina prison. They both still deny anything happening, but it doesn't account for the fact that something wasn't about to happen. So by their logic, I should have waited another five minutes to bust down the door and probably actually beaten his face in. And that's the.

51:46 End of the- Okay. No holds bar is an idiom that means without limits or restrictions or rules. It describes situation, competition, or conversation where anything is allowed and participants are not held back. So this is what happens when you put 22-year-olds on Love Island.

52:03 I don't know.

52:04 I mean, it was doomed from the start, so I don't know what you thought was going to work out, but obviously that all went to crap.

52:12 So maybe next time just be like, you know what? I don't care. I'm going to put my well-being in front of Everything else. To each their own.

52:20 But that's the end of that story and we got another one coming right up. I traveled across the country for my friend's wedding. But I wasn't invited to the dinner!

52:28 No food for you, pig! In my 20s, I was invited to a colleague's wedding. An 8-hour drive each way, so 16-hour round trip away. Another colleague and I decided to car share and booked a bed and breakfast overnight. It was the first wedding, other than family, that I'd ever been to, so I was excited and felt really honored, as even as a 20-year-old, I got they were expensive.

52:55 We get to the B & B early, they knew we were going to a wedding, get ourselves ready, and the lady of the house very kindly drives us to the church, as it's in the Highlands, and the local taxi firm only had one car and we're fully booked. The wedding ceremony was so lovely with Celtic hand tying and a candle ceremony. We take pictures of the bride and mingle with other guests and get on the transport to the reception where the dinner would be. We get to the venue and like everyone else are checking the table plan for our seats and still checking, but can't find her names. Master of Ceremonies comes over and asks to see our invites, to which he flatly states we were only invited to the church and evening drinks and

53:36 that we need to leave. No!

53:38 What?

53:38 That's wild.

53:42 It was in tiny small print that our invite wasn't for the meal. By the way, this comes from baby8227, and if you want to submit your own story, go to the r slash ok story time subreddit. I'm Savannah.

53:54 I'm baby.

53:56 And we're here to give some good advice in a little goofy way, but we don't have all the answers.

54:00 We can only tell you what we would do, but let us know what you would do down in the comments. As Opie says, absolutely mortified we slip away, try to find a local eatery in the highlands of Scotland. to grab some food and waste some time for five hours. We find a local greasy spoon and have a bacon rill and tea, then decide to go back to the B & B to freshen up. The lady was furious and tried to feed us up.

54:25 Bless her.

54:26 We actually got told off for not calling her. She then drove us back to the evening ceremony at 7 p.m. By this point, everyone at the venue was sloppy wasted as they'd been drinking for five hours and we find out we were the only evening guests.

54:41 What? Huh?

54:44 Dang, why didn't they want you there for the dinner? That's kind of.

54:47 What were they going to do at the dinner?

54:49 Eat?

54:50 I don't know.

54:50 Eat what? Each other?

54:52 Oh, maybe... We tried to enjoy ourselves but slipped away at 10pm as the single men were very handsy. We got a lift from a kind local and went to a local bar where we were entertained by more locals who had heard of our fate from the B & B owner. News travels fast in small Scottish villages. We had the breakfast of gods the next morning and were told if we ever go back to be assured that is not how the local people treat their guests. We had ended up having a fun night because of the locals.

55:24 They really did save the day in more ways than one.

55:27 Some old boy brought out his accordion and they gave us an impromptu Kaylee and showed us Scottish dancing.

55:33 Dude, I love.

55:34 How this local people brought it together.

55:37 Yeah, that's actually nice.

55:39 Super sweet.

55:39 Now you know, like, oh, we're in a good place. You know, these people are like, oh my God, that would be me. All right, let's finish it up. Neither my colleague, who was now a friend by the end of the trip, shared trauma bonds, LOL, nor I, and realized we weren't included in the whole event, and the bride later let it slip. She only invited people from the office because our boss had told her it was the polite thing to do. We had thought we were friends with her. Learning point from it all. I now scrutinize wedding invites, and if I'm only invited to the evening part, that's cool, but at least I'm informed. Oh, and for petty revenge, we had put 50 pounds each in the card envelope and chipped in for a beautiful

56:19 bedding set on her registry at Debenham's, So our gifts were worth 100 pounds each. We took the money out of the card and just gave her the betting.

56:29 Usually the gift should equal the amount of the meal. You know, you're supposed to kind of break. That's what I think. It's like at the dinner thing, you kind of break even.

56:37 Oh, really?

56:38 That's what I think.

56:39 And that's the end of this story. Let's head to the next one.

56:42 I spent months making my best friend's gift, but somebody else took the credit?

56:47 Hey, that's mine!

56:50 My friend Cece and I decided to do a joint gift for my best friend Allie. We are all in our teens. Think 14 to 15. Anyway, over the past few months, I've been working on Allie's gift. I'd regularly call Cece up to see if she could help out with things like packaging or picking up the small things out for Allie. She always said she was too busy and hung up. I managed to finish Allie's gift on time.

57:15 And when it came to her birthday, we gave the gift in school at lunch. I handed it to her and gave her the card. Originally on the card, it said, for me, since I had done everything. Little did I know, Cece had taken it and written her name on it and rubbed mine out? Oh my gosh! You're catching hands!

57:37 When Allie read it, she gave Cece a hug, then showed the presents and said to everyone, look what Cece did! Everyone started to compliment her, saying how the present was done so well And how did she find the time to do it for her friend? Cece smiled smugly and then just went on about how she had to put aside time for the present. But it was so worth it seeing how happy Allie was. By the way, this comes from I am a banana 41. And if you want to submit your own stories, you know where to go.

58:09 I'm Riley.

58:10 I'm Savannah.

58:11 Savannah, you're going to read this goofily. If you have anything you'd like to add, please add down below. Hope he says, I lost it. I'm a very emotional person, and this just pushed me over the edge. I started screaming about how I'd spent ages trying to ask Cece to help me, yet she never did, and how I'd spent months on it, and she hadn't even checked up on it once. I mean, fair, this is kind of like, things in school are really hard. Things like this happening in school with lots of people, and you haven't really found yourself yet.

58:42 Yeah.

58:43 Go for it.

58:43 I don't know. I would confront her. I'd be like, hey, why did you do that? Oh, that's what she's doing? I mean, I think this girl deserves it. Because why would you do that? Like, you had no business to change that at all. You deliberately did that for what? To get credit for something you didn't do? Yeah, bye.

58:59 You're not my friend.

59:00 Everyone went quiet. And Cece was fuming. I started crying and left. Allie followed me and hugged me. She said she knew it was me who did that. but let Cece have her moment.

59:11 I was pissed.

59:12 Very pissed. Cece actually admitted that she didn't do it at all, and that I did most of it after I asked all of her friends. They texted me saying they were sorry, but I was an a-hole for causing such a scene and ruining Allie's birthday?

59:26 No.

59:27 No, Cece's the B in this.

59:30 Yes, Cece's the A-hole.

59:32 Yeah, maybe, like, I don't know. Don't do that. Go get another gift. You apparently didn't get a gift for her. And so you're like, oh, here, I did this.

59:41 No, you didn't.

59:43 Silver King, very 15-year-old reaction. Laurie Pritness, the Laurie Princess. Oh yeah, crafts are also sacred. Katie Pollitton, rub the name out. Doesn't OP know how to sign cards with a pen? A lot harder to take credit for someone else's work if you can't rub it out written in pen. I'm assuming it was something like a Sharpie in a card and she just like, I don't know. We don't know what it is, but she like deliberately took it out.

1:00:06 The Blind One, this is why signing birthday cards with Sharpie is the best so you can't rub that crap out. I don't know what, how she did it either or what she did to rub it out.

1:00:16 I mean, with like pens, if they're like, I don't know, very inky, you can just like, like as soon as they do it, like it probably isn't dry. And so like you can like rub it out, but you would still kind of see, I don't know.

1:00:29 I know Allie doesn't mind. Cece's ignoring me, but Reddit, am I the A-hole? I'm saying nah, she's 15. This is at school.

1:00:39 Hours, dude.

1:00:40 Probably 20 to 30 hours into this.

1:00:42 Craft?

1:00:43 Come on.

1:00:45 Yeah, screw you. I'd be like, whatever, you're not my friend.

1:00:47 Imagine if you made me a tubby nubby.

1:00:50 My tubby nugget.

1:00:52 Yeah, imagine you made that for me and you and Sophia said you were going to do it together and Sophia took the credit.

1:00:58 No.

1:00:58 I'd be like, um, actually, no.

1:01:02 I would push her out of the way and be like, I would just bump her out of the way.

1:01:07 She'd fly across the room because she's this big.

1:01:09 And then she wouldn't be able to work for a week.

1:01:12 Then she went, yeah, Savannah hurt my shoulder. I feel like, oh.

1:01:15 Someone has hurt it.

1:01:16 It's true. Aw, we're talking about her on her birthday. Zone of love.

1:01:23 Everyone's saying not the a-hole. I like this.

1:01:26 I like this.

1:01:27 Update.

1:01:28 Well, a bit's happened in the past 10 minutes. Just, is this an update 10 minutes ago?

1:01:34 I guess so.

1:01:35 10 minutes. That's so funny. Cece actually apologized. which I'm very surprised as she hates admitting she's wrong. She then went on to complain about how Allie has been such a mean friend and didn't deserve my gift. So she took the credit? The entire thing was very confusing and I ended up blocking her. Update two. What was that?

1:01:59 She blocked her.

1:02:00 You don't need her anymore. Bye.

1:02:01 You were a girl and 15 once? What does this mean?

1:02:04 What?

1:02:05 What all this crap that's happening right now that we're reading about? She blocked her? Not a friend anymore?

1:02:10 What?

1:02:10 I'm confused.

1:02:11 Yeah, she's done with her.

1:02:13 Because she's a liar and she's trying to take her... She's tired of.

1:02:17 Her trying to take credit for things that aren't hers.

1:02:20 And she has to be the center of attention, it seems like. It seems like Cece just needs to be at the center of attention for everyone to see at all times. And that's annoying, especially when you're 15. You want all the attention. Doesn't mean you're going to get it every single time, but you don't have to... like ruin friendships just to get attention from people.

1:02:41 That's crazy.

1:02:43 Update two. Anyways, thank you all for the lovey advice. After all of it, I talked to my friends, the ones who messaged me and told them the full situation. Apparently, CC had told them I was planning to blow up on her at the Gathering And just to go along with it, but make me feel terrible afterwards.

1:03:04 Oh, screw her. I hate this girl. Oh, she's a mean girl.

1:03:09 What a mean girl. 15, 15 high school.

1:03:13 Yeah, mean girl. Ew, she's literally a Regina George. Screw this girl.

1:03:17 Biological.

1:03:18 Diabolical.

1:03:20 Biological.

1:03:23 Biologically a B.

1:03:25 Basically gaslighting me. into thinking I was wrong for standing up for myself. The whole scene with Allie was very tricky. She said Cece had been saying stuff about me before, but she didn't want to believe it. She actually didn't know that the present was from me and genuinely thought it was from Cece. After she realized she effed up, she felt so embarrassed she lied to me, which is why she made the let Cece have her moment comment.

1:03:53 Wow.

1:03:54 Cece has been ignoring me and won't even look at me. Honestly, I don't even want her to because I don't need her negativity in my life. Yes, queen. There we go. After realizing how messed up my friend group is, I started talking to others and it's helped me greatly. Okay, real quick. Should we drop Cece and Allie or no?

1:04:16 Yes.

1:04:17 Both of them?

1:04:18 I don't know.

1:04:19 I feel like Allie's okay.

1:04:21 But it's... She could be. She could be okay.

1:04:25 But.

1:04:26 I don't know. Being a teenager, like, you are going to have to choose sides because that's just how it is.

1:04:34 And I don't know.

1:04:35 I feel like she would take Cece's side.

1:04:37 But I don't know.

1:04:38 I don't know.

1:04:38 Put me wrong, Allie. I don't know. All my friends, like, I had two friends that didn't get along with each other. But, like, in social settings, like, I just told them that they had to be civil with each other. And they still, like, they would be civil. But sometimes there would be problems. It was just weird.

1:04:59 But they don't hang out now. I just hang out with them separately because obviously we're all doing separate things with our lives.

1:05:05 There we go. I'm no longer friends with Allie. We're just a little awkward. I'm a little upset that she didn't even realize my own handwriting and it hurt when she let Cece have the attention. But I'll get over it. I've been controlling my emotions better. breathing exercises, and just overall resisting the urge to scream and cry. So thank you for that, Reddit.

1:05:27 You're welcome.

1:05:28 Do you have the urge to scream and cry?

1:05:31 Yeah, all the time.

1:05:33 What?

1:05:34 No, I don't have the urge to scream and cry.

1:05:37 I guess that's all you need to know. So thank you so much, Reddit.

1:05:41 Yay.

1:05:42 Wow.

1:05:43 We are just helping young women left and right here with their... High school problems. You catslonic. What in the high school enablet is happening right now?

1:05:55 Yep.

1:05:56 I agree. Kami says this is one of those stories where this needs to be nipped in the bud now or she will do it as an adult and have a less kind intervention.

1:06:08 That's true.

1:06:10 She won't have a personality growing up.

1:06:12 Well, not even that. It's just like she would be so untrustworthy. No one's going to trust you. And you're just going to like, who are your real friends in this? The people who just go along with it because they don't want to be on your bad side. Those aren't true friends.

1:06:28 I saw something that pretty women never learn the truth.

1:06:32 Pretty women never know the truth because they'll never have to go through horrible quests because they're pretty.

1:06:39 Yeah, something like that. I don't know. It's like the pretty privilege thing. They get whatever they want. They don't have to really worry about things.

1:06:46 And that's the end of this story. Let's head to the next one.

1:06:49 Hey, it's Keon, your favorite short king.

1:06:51 We're going to get back to the stories, but here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

1:06:56 My friend ruined the last trip we ever had and now is doing it all over again.

1:07:01 Why?

1:07:02 Stop it! Stop!

1:07:06 I've, 33 female, known my best friend Lisa, 32 female, for roughly 15 years. We went through high school and college together. She's always been high energy, slightly self-absorbed, and an immature person. She was formerly my best friend, but when I grew up and Lisa didn't, I made a conscious effort to hang out with her less and only in groups of other close friends. Traveling with Lisa has always been a bear. In 2010, Lisa and I took a trip to LA to visit some friends. This was the first time I had to fly alone with her anywhere.

1:07:41 For the entire 5 hour flight, there she was, kept pestering me and bothering the man sitting on the other side of her. When we got to the hotel, she tried to say I should pay for the whole hotel room since I arranged the trip first and she only was tagging along. When I didn't let that slide, she suddenly didn't have enough money for food and was eating off of everyone else's plate and begging folks for money.

1:08:05 That is crazy. Except when it came time to shop for souvenirs. She suddenly had a different credit card out and lots of cash on hand. I promised myself I'd never travel with her again. By the way, this comes from Deleted, and if you want to send me your own stories... Go to the r slash OK Storytime subreddit.

1:08:24 I'm Riley.

1:08:25 I'm Savannah.

1:08:25 And we're going to read this goofily. If you have anything you'd like to add, please add it down below. As Opie says, naturally, this promise was broken. Our mutual friend Marge, who Lisa has known for 20 years and I've known for 16, has stage four terminal illness. It was discovered in November of 2015. And since she and her husband have moved out of state, we each wanted to visit her. Since Marge doesn't have the energy to be hosting everyone at once, we agreed to visit her at the same time, which meant I couldn't get out of being on the same plane out and back with her and and sharing a guest room with her oh my gosh lisa 2.0 the revenge is there any ground rules we could do going into this one.

1:09:09 I don't think she would even follow them. And if you I feel like she would be the person if you called her out, she would be so petty after. And she'd be like, oh, well, why would I do that when, you know, you say that I do this a lot. So I'm just not going to do it. And it's like, oh, my God, like you can't win with this girl.

1:09:26 She also seems pretty aloof. She doesn't understand reading a room, what's happening. It's really hard to travel with people like that. People that will not move out of the way of other people, that gets on my nerves so much. It makes me want to pull my hair out.

1:09:39 My God, all I do is move out of the way of everyone.

1:09:42 I'm like....

1:09:44 Lisa hit a new low. First, she was supposed to arrange transportation with Marge for us from the airport, which is about 45 to 50 minutes away, and there's no shuttle. She forgot... And didn't until we were flying out? Marge had asked her cousin, who was also visiting, to get us. Second, she started hitting on Marge's husband? Not jokingly flirting, I'm talking, hey!

1:10:08 Back when you and Marge were broken up for a few years during and after high school, did you ever consider dating me? She was sitting on his lap, fawning over him. It was clearly making Marge uncomfortable, and her husband and I tried to ask Lisa to stop, but she kept saying, oh, she was only joking. I'm only joking.

1:10:28 It's in a joking way. I don't mean it, so I'm joking.

1:10:32 They love throwing us into uncomfortable situations. All right, here we go. Since they were giving us a place to stay, I felt it was only right I pay for a few of our collective meals. The first one they grudgingly allowed. But when I went to pay for our $ 40 Chinese order one day, Marge and her husband refused to let me give my credit card and wouldn't let me pay cash even when the delivery arrived. I left the money on the kitchen counter, saying it was a gift. Lisa said if they wouldn't take it, she would and stuffed it in her bra. I had to tell her no.

1:11:04 She seemingly reluctantly gave the money back up and say it was only a joke. It's funny that it's always a joke when no one agrees with you. Now this last part is the most wild. As Marge's energy became more limited, Marge was the happiest spending time at home. Her husband, her sister, and I tried to make the most of that by bringing the fun to her. I brought some video games and a couple of card games and spent a lot of time laughing, chatting, and enjoying each other's company. Lisa seemed disappointed that we weren't doing more sightseeing, but our focus was on what Marge enjoyed and what made her comfortable. On the day we were getting ready to leave, Marge and I were playing a few games while her sister looked through the takeout options

1:11:52 of our final lunch together. Lisa basically threw a temper tantrum, turned off Marge's console we were playing a game on, and said that we had to do something and couldn't just sit around. It was deplorable behavior on the day when Marge clearly wasn't doing well.

1:12:09 What is happening?

1:12:09 How could she not really actually see what's happening in front of her?

1:12:13 Because those people don't. They think because they aren't having fun, everyone else must not be having fun. So they are like, why are we doing this? Let's go do something else. Don't you guys want to do this?

1:12:23 And it's like, actually, no, I don't.

1:12:25 I'm sick and I want to stay in bed.

1:12:27 When our plane landed, Lisa suddenly said she needed a ride home. I ignored it and started walking to the ground transportation pickup area. My mom had agreed to get me, even though it was midnight when we arrived. I saw her car. Told Lisa bye and started walking towards it. When I got in, I realized she had followed me, opened a rear door, and was getting in. I asked her what she was doing, and she said that my mom could drive her home. Right? She lives 30 minutes away from the airport. I live 5 minutes away in the opposite direction. I started to protest, but my mom was tired and didn't want to fight and agreed. On the ride to drive her back, she started planning our next trip to see Marge. I said, well, we'll see.

1:13:10 Marge has been having a tough time with treatment lately, and she's mentioned to a few of us that she'd love to have some close friends come visit in the coming months. Around the same time, I started to plan a trip to see my cousin, who lives about an hour away from Marge. The timing works out well. I'd fly in, spend a week with my cousin, then spend a week with Marge before heading home. Predictably, Lisa has begun thinking about a trip as well, and has been asking when we're going. I've mentioned my separate plans, but now she's trying to ask exactly when I'm going so she could fly out for the second half of my visit, then be on the same flight back. She is, unfortunately, one of the people Marge wants to see one last time,

1:13:53 though Marge confided in me that she doesn't want Lisa there for a full week and has already tried to tell her as much. How do I firmly tell Lisa that I will not go on in-trip with her ever again, especially this one, Given that this is a trip to see a passing away friend, I feel like this could turn into another disastrous trip. And it important to mention, I've only seen Lisa four times.

1:14:15 Since this trip.

1:14:16 We have both ended up at the same Christmas party and two mutual outings with friends. And I was one of the 30 something people who showed up at her birthday party. I am mainly keeping the peace, but not going out of my way to do anything with her since we have a number of mutual friends and Marge is ill too.

1:14:34 You just gotta tell her at this point, because she's not gonna, she doesn't understand a lot.

1:14:41 She will not read the room.

1:14:42 Yeah, she's not reading the room, and she also is just not a good person. She's only thinking about herself.

1:14:47 Like, oh my god, when can we go?

1:14:49 Because, you know, it's not to see Marge, it's to go do anything but. Update.

1:14:56 A lot of people say I should immediately cut this nightmare of a person out of my life. I mostly had it at that point, but was not completely cutting until after this was over, so she wouldn't cause drama for people who didn't need it. What I did the day after the post was talk to Marge. She too acknowledged that Lisa is now a terrible person, but she's at a point where she'd like to remember the good times.

1:15:21 She asked if I could please be there at the same time since Lisa and another friend from our mutual group, let's call her Edna, would be in town around the same time. So I agreed. This is about her comfort and happiness, not mine. And you see how OP time and time again is sacrificing her happiness for Marge's comfortness?

1:15:41 This is a great friend.

1:15:43 Yeah, because Marge is going to pass away and you don't want her to... To be uncomfortable or whatever. Like, I don't want, if I'm going to pass away, I don't want people I don't enjoy in my company. Sorry, call me rude or crazy, but I'd rather be having a party than be sitting there trying to entertain someone who just wants to do what they want to do.

1:16:04 I arranged my trip so I'd fly to my cousin's airport, stay there two days, then she'd drive me to March. That way, at least, I wouldn't have to be on the same plane as Lisa. I ended up getting to March's on Wednesday morning. and Edna arrived Wednesday afternoon, Edna Marge and Marge's husband and Marge's sister and I had a wonderful day and evening. Thursday morning, Lisa flew in.

1:16:32 At first, she was calling for a ride from the airport. At the last second, because she didn't think to ask anyone before landing, Marge's husband had just left for work with his car. Marge was asleep, Marge's sister was running a quick errand and there's no car for me to use. I didn't want to deal with her so I left it to Edna. Apparently, Lisa was too cheap for a taxi but too afraid to use Uber so she tried to guilt trip us. We both said no. She hung up on Edna. Marge's sister got back maybe 15 minutes later with two of Marge's prescriptions. Lisa called her while she was out but she explained she needed to get the medicines back and needed to be at the house in case Marge needed to be driven somewhere else, so

1:17:19 to take a cab and she'd pay for it. Lisa got here, Marge's sister met her at the door and went to pay the cab for her. Edna and I were in the living room and waved while the two of them helloed each other. Lisa sneezed twice during this exchange and said her allergies were really bad. She and Marge's sister went to the cab. Now, I'm not exactly sure what happened in that span, but apparently something happened to make Marge's sister realize Lisa was sick, which is not what anyone sick needs around them. There was yelling for Marge's sister, rightfully so. because a sick, maybe infectious person just hugged one of the two primary caretakers for a very sick woman. Lisa was yelling because she paid

1:18:05 for this trip in advance and this was probably her last time seeing Marge. Lisa acted as though she was going to walk into the house and Edna and I both stood on the porch. We told her it wasn't happening and Marge's sister said she needed to leave stay in a hotel, and maybe if she's recovered before she has to fly back in a few days, she can come and see Marge. Lisa claims she doesn't have any money for a hotel, that we were being witches. She said she wanted to see Marge and have her weigh in on the situation. We didn't let that happen and threatened to call Marge's husband if she doesn't immediately get in a cab or an Uber and leave. So, we pretty much left Lisa in the driveway. Holy cow.

1:18:46 What is wrong with her that she like doesn't get it? It's like, I don't know how many different ways I can explain this but you are being an a-hole Lisa what's wrong with you have some sympathy for the person who is only here for a limited amount of time yeah this is a weird one she could have just been like hey guys I'm a little under the weather.

1:19:08 I don't want to cause any issues.

1:19:10 I'm going to get a separate place for me to stay at, but I do want to like meet up with you guys sometimes, you know, maybe outdoors or something so that we can all like see each other and be together for one last time, whatever. That's all. Like think of the other people.

1:19:24 That's it. Just have some empathy.

1:19:27 Marge's sister asked us to bring her some hand sanitizer and her phone and stayed outside. Marge's sister called Marge's husband to report what happened. Lisa's phone call wasn't to a cab company, but to wake up Marge and try and guilt trip her way in. Marge told her that she can't see her or let her stay with her when she's sick and possibly contagious. Marge also said she had to tell Lisa she wasn't paying for a hotel for her. At this point, Marge's sister was almost afraid to go back into the house. She's worried she could be contaminated. And after talking to Marge's husband, she texted to make sure arrangements to stay with one of her cousins for a few days was a precautionary. We waited

1:20:11 to be sure Lisa does get into a cab or an Uber and left. Marge's sister packed back while I got a cab to take me to a car rental place. So it turned into Edna and I visiting with Marge. Marge's sister ended up being okay. She's here all the time and deserved a three-day break breather anyway. What are you doing with Lisa though at this point? Just telling her to leave?

1:20:34 I don't know.

1:20:36 I'd be like, hey, we can meet up if you're feeling okay, but let's just kind of stay outside.

1:20:43 I missed the beginning. Did Lisa know before booking the trip she was sick? If not, other arrangements should have been made for her if she was supposed to stay there. I think she knew she was sick and still got on the plane to see Marge. Lisa tried texting Marge and her husband a few times. Marge's husband was handling all communications with her. Apparently, she tried to say she was better over a text the day before her flight home, but wouldn't actually talk on the phone, so we all figured she was still unwell. I haven't heard from Lisa since.

1:21:12 From what I've heard, Edna Marge and Marge's sister haven't either. Marge and her sister are both upset about the situation. It was a lovely trip, aside from this momentary drama, though. Ugh, that's crazy. Well, guys, that's the end of that story.