My husband’s mother sided with me after he CHEATED… now he wants a divorce! -r/TwoXChromosomes | Reddit Stories | EP3088

0:00 Hey, this is Dakota.

0:01 And this is Keon, your favorite OK Storytime host, and we've got some great stories coming right up.

0:05 But before that, we have a quick two-minute break from the sponsors that keep the show alive.

0:10 My husband's mother sided with me after he cheated, and now he wants a divorce.

0:16 Give it to him.

0:17 My husband, 46 yoms. Wants a divorce from me, 38. Yaaaf, queen. Because his mother sided with me after he cheated with his co-worker, 25. Yaaaf. And got her pregnant. For context, my mother-in-law has always been amazing to me. She's still quite young because she had my husband when she was 15.

0:41 Oh!

0:42 But she's treated me like I'm another daughter. She has four kids in total, two boys, including my husband, and two girls. My mother-in-law is one of the kindest people you will ever meet. I was anxious when I first got married because I was a white woman marrying into a black family. Husband is biracial, but still. But my mother-in-law accepted me immediately, treated me more like a queen, and lifted me up more than my own husband did.

1:06 When I had our first baby, my mother-in-law respected my boundaries to wait a couple of days before visiting, as I had an extremely traumatic birth. When the day came for her to come to the hospital, she made a beeline straight for me. completely ignoring my newborn daughter altogether. And when I made a joke about it, she told me that I was her baby first. I love this woman so much. By the way, this comes from OK Mobile or OK Mobile. 11.38, and if you want to spit your own stories, go to the r slash okay story time subreddit. I'm Sophia.

1:38 I'm Dakota.

1:39 I'm Keon.

1:39 And we're here to give good advice scoofly, but we don't have all the answers. We only know what we do, so let us know what you would do in the comments. Oh, he says, fast forward, husband and I have been married for nine years. Whoa. I'm aware that we have an age gap, but it's something I'm questioning myself. But we have four children together, fifth on the way. I knew something was up when he had a total freak out over me using the family iPad. Tale as old as time and as old as iPads. Which his Google account was logged into. Then things started becoming more clear to me from there. Things like walking away at the grocery store and angling his phone away from me while he texted, aggressively insisting to me that I let him know when

2:21 I would be home early some nights. I am a third shifter. We would have huge blowout arguments over it, but I kept brushing things away and letting them go because he insisted that he was not cheating and that he loved me and only me. That turned out to be a lie. That's tough. To my surprise, his co-worker reached out to me. Turns out he had been having an affair with her for three and a half years.

2:47 And now she is six months pregnant. What's worse is he literally brought her over to our house while I was away with our kids.

2:56 Yikes.

2:57 He spent my postpartum periods doing stuff with her by the pool.

3:02 Bark.

3:02 Yikes.

3:03 Bark.

3:04 Or in his company work truck. I confronted my husband, and it went about as well as you'd expect. He blamed me for everything, telling me he has needs, that I was not fulfilling him spicy sleepily. He craved a young, fresh body. I'm sorry, are you a vampire? And that I had let myself go, even though I most definitely have not. I work out every day, even with four kids, and I'm currently pregnant with my fifth. I think he just doesn't understand how pregnancy works, and so he thinks that you've gained weight, when really... You have a baby in your belly. I did not tell my mother-in-law at first because I didn't want to drive a wedge between mother and son. But my oldest son let it slip to her that daddy was sleeping on the couch. My

3:46 mother very gently asked if everything was okay, but she didn't want to intrude on our marriage. It all came out after that. My mother-in-law lost her crap. I don't know everything that was said to my husband, but I know they were not kind words. My mother-in-law told me verbatim, Honey, it's your choice to leave or stay with him. Either way you choose, I'm right here with you. Okay.

4:11 Cool. Who beans? We're locked arm in arm.

4:16 Love that. Fast forward two months. I decided to stay with him like an idiot.

4:21 No. Oh, no. What happened?

4:24 No.

4:25 What happened?

4:26 He cried and promised me all these things and that he would change. And like an idiot, I believed him. Now he wants a divorce. I mean, he told you he wanted a young, fresh body. Not only because he wants to be with his mistress and their kid on the way, but because his mother sided with me. He insisted that she was his mother and should have supported him and stuck by him. My mother-in-law apparently turned him away when he went to her house to sleep for a night, telling him, you'll not bring your Oren to my house. I don't know where we currently stand. He is staying with his mistress currently and has not yet served me divorce papers. Meanwhile, my mother-in-law, my mother, and I will be spending a peaceful Mother's Day at a

5:09 cabin in Tennessee. That sounds.

5:12 You got yourself a little jug of moonshine up there?

5:14 I think what you could do is, just to pause it real quick, I think you kind of can flip it around on him. Kind of Russia-U.S. moon race style, you know, or space race. So instead, like... Original goal, get to space. Original goal for you, who divorces who first? Who says the words?

5:36 And then China somehow comes into the mix and then they win.

5:39 That's actually not how the space race happened, no.

5:42 For a second I was like, what movie is she talking about?

5:44 Wait, I'm not done with my analogy. And then.

5:48 He did the Kessel Run in 7.8 parsecs.

5:50 Russia gets to space first. Oh no, that's your husband saying I want to divorce you first.

5:55 But.

5:56 You can be the U.S. and say, actually, we're changing the rules. We're changing the rules now. Now the goal is to get to the moon. So now the goal is for you to serve him papers first. There you go.

6:06 Whoever fakes it first wins.

6:08 Yeah.

6:09 Serving papers protect you and your five kids. You do it first. He hasn't done it yet. Change the rules. Now the goal is to serve him.

6:17 Boom.

6:17 Boom.

6:18 Done.

6:18 Boom, done. Outsmarted. Outplayed. Outwitted.

6:21 Boom, bop, bam. Boom. I guess I shared all this to say, appreciate the good mothers you have and mothers stand by your children, even those by marriage, because you are the bedrock of our society. I know my sisters have monsters in law and I'm grateful to have both my biological mother and my mother-in-law in this situation.

6:40 Advice?

6:41 And we do have an update. I already gave you my mice. I gave you my mice.

6:45 Add mice.

6:46 Add mice.

6:47 Everyone check under your chairs.

6:49 You get a mouse.

6:50 I gave you mice. Now put them in your husband's house and let them loose.

6:54 We did determine it was the year of the mouse. It's true.

6:57 Yum.

6:58 Give him some more mice.

6:59 I gave you my advice. Give him mice.

7:01 Add mice. He's a mouse boy. Mouse boy. He's a mouse boy.

7:06 He's like Stuart Little?

7:07 I mean... Stuart Little would never.

7:10 Cheat on his wife. Wait, on a real level. Dang, that got me. Is there a difference?

7:22 Like if he initiates divorce, does she have less standing when it comes to like the previous infidelity and stuff?

7:30 Or like, does that even matter?

7:33 They might not be in an at-fault state, so it might not matter.

7:36 Okay.

7:36 Okay. I mean, it depends. Yeah.

7:40 I mean, it sounds like you can divorce him or he can divorce you. And it doesn't matter because either way, you're going to have a party about it with his mom. Which I can't think of a bigger slam dunk on a person than to be like, yeah, your mom is cheering for.

7:55 Yeah.

7:56 Your mom hates you, dad.

7:57 I don't even know if it's his misery. It's more just like you're just desserts, dude.

8:03 There's an update. Already within an hour and a half of posting this, stuff has already changed. Call it God or the universe, I'm not sure which. I just want to say, first and foremost, I just checked all of the comments so far, right when I logged back on to update this post, and I have to say thank you to everyone. Lawyer was contacted as soon as I saw the comments because they just validated what I was already feeling in my soul. To everyone wondering if I want this man back, the answer is a resounding F no!

8:33 If the cheating wasn't bad enough, the fact that a 40-something-year-old man, Yom, has been sleeping with his 20-yoth is already a massive no from Ma. The real tough part about this is that he paraded this girl around me, acting like they were just co-workers. This girl smiled in my face at work parties and work trips while I was barely able to stand up from being heavily pregnant.

8:58 That is so crazy.

9:00 Scum.

9:01 And, you know, I get the kind of element of her being much younger than this guy. But, like, how can you look at the face of a woman who is, like, the wife who is pregnant?

9:15 The mother of your child.

9:17 Yeah.

9:18 And she, with her husband, like, yes, the husband is awful. But, like, also this girl. Like, how can she look at OP and not even let on anything? She knew about me all along and I suspect she only told me about the affair to gloat. This man is never stepping foot back into the house that my passed away father paid for.

9:38 The house is mine. The children that I birthed and raised almost solely on my own with help from my mother and mother-in-law are mine. And so are cars that my wages paid for. I will fight tooth and nail to get what is mine and what is owed to me. The comments helped me realize that I was being petty and wasting time. I said, I don't know where we stand.

9:58 Not because I want him back as a husband. but because I wanted to call his bluff. Because he is a spineless coward. I was waiting for him to come crawling back and beg my forgiveness like the loser he is. And within 30 minutes of me making this post, he did. His mistress turns out has a boyfriend. Oh no. Well, let's see who's got their foot in the wrong shoe. You, mister.

10:26 Well, she's dedicated to the game, that's for sure.

10:29 And he broke up with her upon discovering them together and kicked them out of the house that he owns. I spent less than 10 minutes on the phone with him, listening in total silence to him begging and crying to let him come back.

10:42 You know what you should do, Opie? Let me ask your mom.

10:44 Yeah, sorry. Your mom says that you can't sleep over tonight.

10:49 Regis, I'm going to use the phone a friend option. I'm going to call your mom. And I'm going to see what she has to say.

10:57 Ooh, she says now. Hearing him say that he loves me and that he made a mistake and he doesn't want to lose his home and his wife and kids. I said nothing and hung up. His number is now blocked and the entire conversation was recorded for the lawyer. Completely legal. We live in a one-party consent state. But we got a little bit left. Any final thoughts?

11:19 Well, at least you know he's a pathetic little coward now. I mean, it makes sense.

11:24 Nine years into your relationship. It was nine years into your relationship.

11:28 Opie, you go, no takesie-backsies.

11:31 Lp you go what you say and then he gets.

11:37 But you cheated on me with the 25 year old and she's pregnant.

11:43 With your child because it is um but we got a little bit left that's super tough op but you seem like you're way better without um I have nothing but rage in my heart right now, and I feel somewhat guilty because I was raised a devout Catholic. Well, one of the rules is don't adulter. Don't do that. No adultery. The guilt of Doris is still lingering. I have cried for months because this man betrayed me when I have done nothing but love him, give him children at my own peril, nursed him when he was sick with a heart attack. I'm done crying.

12:19 Why did he have a heart attack over? Cheating on you? A 21-year-old being interested in him? Yeah.

12:27 Yeah, I wonder if it's like, is this man very unhealthy? Or was it just, you know, genetic? This post was meant to be for Mother's Day, and in the same vein, I want to say that as a mother, my children come first, and I come first before a pathetic, worthless man. Thank you again to everyone. I'm off to Tennessee.

12:45 Yep. Ain't that the truth.

12:47 Woo!

12:49 I'm off to Tennessee and my husband is leaving me, but I'm leaving him and I'm hanging with his mom.

12:57 That's really beautiful.

12:58 Going on up to Tennessee and gonna see his mom. I'm a divorcee?

13:03 Sure, that rhymes.

13:05 And that's the end of this story and we're going on to the next one.

13:09 I found my girlfriend's secret stash hidden in our dresser and was more.

13:13 Confused than ever.

13:15 Stash of what?

13:16 Is it a mustache? No.

13:19 Is she a master of disguise? My girlfriend, 24, female, and me, 26, male. We've been living together for a while. After the first lockdown, we decided we didn't want to spend so many months apart anymore. And we knew a new lockdown was on its way, so we began living together. Perfect idea, as we are now on lockdown again. Also, we are together since nearly four years now. This is getting out of control, dude.

13:42 Since nearly four years now, we are together. Maybe they're from Germany.

13:46 Everything is going very smoothly. We are best friends living together. It is a real pleasure, but some things are weird. She sometimes seems very fishy. Like some days ago, she looked guilty of something, went into the kitchen, passed by the living room to go to our room. And I saw she was hiding something behind her back.

14:05 I jokingly asked what it was. And she said, nothing, nothing. I began laughing and asking again, but she got angry again.

14:13 And ran towards our room to lock herself in, and I saw what she had in her hands was a fork?

14:20 Just a fork. A simple fork. Can't be mistaken. She did this twice this month.

14:26 The first time I bumped into her and she was hiding two spoons behind her back. Then she ran away to our room. I asked her after this happened, why does she hide those things? And she said, it's none of my business. Every couple has their secrets.

14:40 I accepted it, but... Why spoons and forks? By the way, this comes from throwaway13013. If you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash okay story time subreddit. I'm Dakota.

14:50 I'm Sophia.

14:51 I'm Keon.

14:52 We're going to read this here story I got right in my hand, and we're going to give our thoughts on it.

14:56 But we don't know everything, but you do. You do.

14:59 So you tell us what you think in the comments. And OP says, Also, I can see her sometimes doing the same thing, but from our room to the kitchen. simply taking those back to their place. I never see these in our room.

15:15 So what do you guys think? There's an update.

15:18 Maybe she's making something.

15:19 Alvin says she might be obsessed with collecting them. However, she's returning them.

15:24 Maybe they expired.

15:25 And do you need to collect something that you own in, is in your own house?

15:29 I think she's lost her mind.

15:32 After posting, I was scared. Was my girlfriend doing illegal substances behind my back? Did she have an eating disorder? Should I try to press for more answers? Should I put a camera on? Should I take her by surprise and enter the room when she's in there alone?

15:43 Probably. I feel like none of those ones.

15:46 So Opie ended up deciding to sit her down and talk.

15:51 Sit her down. I like that one the best. Why didn't I think of that? Yep, it's because you're dumb.

15:58 New idea.

16:00 Yes.

16:01 She's trading the spoons and forks with another crow.

16:05 But she's getting them back.

16:06 I hate you.

16:07 He thinks... She's bringing them back, but they're different ones. They're different ones that the crow brings.

16:13 Okay.

16:14 And they trade at the window because it's the pandemo. They're locked in the house. The only form of communication she has is with this bird.

16:22 And they bring her his secrets from the outside world.

16:25 And they're mostly just like, you know, shiny, you know, other people's.

16:29 What goes on in there? I really want to know.

16:33 Belton says she's hit her terrible twos, fives. A table, two fives. Two fives.

16:39 We communicate well, never arguing when do so, usually. But this time, even if I was the sweetest I have ever been.

16:47 She got angry. She said, stop asking about it. No is no.

16:53 You won't get any answers from me.

16:55 She got cold after that for days. Didn't talk to me anymore.

17:00 Reddit scared me with the whole substances things or the eating disorder comments, so I decided to put a camera in our room.

17:07 Wouldn't have suggested that.

17:09 Well, yeah, that was my last suggestion.

17:11 I guess out of the interest of making sure she's okay, that's better than, you know, most reasons to put a camera in there. And since it is both of your rooms, I guess that's okay. I actually kind of sign off on that.

17:26 I don't, but I do want to know what happens. So for the sake of the story.

17:30 I appreciate it.

17:31 What if your boyfriend was hoarding spoons, locked himself in his room, and then the internet told you he was on hard drugs?

17:38 Genuinely?

17:39 You know, people who are smart are also very high functioning when they get those kind of problems.

17:43 I personally feel like I would just talk to him and it would be fine. But if he was like, no, I'd be like, dude, what's wrong with you?

17:52 And he's like, nothing. I just need my spoons in my room.

17:54 I don't think I would jump to recording him. Okay.

17:57 I don't think I would. Fair enough. Sophia would let her boyfriend destroy his body with illicit materials. That's fine.

18:06 I quickly saw what she was doing with them and it confused me even more.

18:11 She just put them in a plastic bag.

18:13 She put it in a backpack of hers and then she proceeded to put it in our dresser. After seeing that, I looked for the backpack in our dresser and there it was. Cutlery, a pan, and a plate. I was even more confused. More questions than answers at that point. So I sat her down again. I took the backpack and opened it in front of her and asked again.

18:34 She got angry.

18:36 Really, really angry. Then she cried and then went away for a walk. She sent me a message two hours later to tell me she was at her sister's and would come back when she felt ready.

18:49 What is going on? This is weird.

18:51 This is weird.

18:53 I'm so bamboozled.

18:55 I'll tell you what, a human bird.

18:56 If you say crow again, I'm muting.

18:57 A human bird hates to be exposed.

18:59 I hate you.

19:00 I didn't say the word you don't like. Human birds are very particular about their privacy.

19:05 Good Morning Petty Potatoes is DNA testing? That is.

19:09 But why would she need pans? Yeah.

19:12 Honestly, I have no ideas. I have gotten zero ideas. Put all of your ideas in the chat.

19:17 Is she eating something?

19:19 As out there as they could possibly be.

19:22 Maybe she's been in somewhat of an identity crisis and she's like.

19:27 I wish I were a pan.

19:28 Well, maybe she's just really confused about what pansexual means. Maybe.

19:32 But why the spoons?

19:34 What is she doing with those pans?

19:35 I've got no idea, but I need to know. Tell me. Tell me now.

19:38 Is she doing like ASMR?

19:40 Type crow in the chat if you think I'm right.

19:43 Audrey says, or maybe OCD. She can't eat off of what he is eating off of. That, I feel like.

19:48 Is closer. Oh, that's right, because they just moved in together.

19:52 Yeah, that is a good idea.

19:54 Why not just say it, though? That seems the most plausible. I know. Why not just say it?

19:58 She came back two days later, because she had to work and had no other choice, anyway. Then it was her time to sit me down and finally tell me what was up.

20:08 She was fidgeting.

20:10 And nearly crying, but also laughing, which is, that's scary. And she said, I know it's stupid, but I just hate washing the dishes. What?

20:18 What?

20:19 I asked her what she meant.

20:21 She said, I'm sorry for the way I acted about it all, but I was embarrassed to tell you the truth. I hate washing the dishes, and when it's my turn to do so, I take some of the dishes away, hide them, and when it's your turn to wash the dishes, I put them back so I have less to wash.

20:38 Are we believing this?

20:41 Honestly, yes. Honestly, it's so stupid that, yeah, I believe this.

20:47 What's the opposite of a raccoon? She is that. She hates washing things.

20:53 And raccoons love washing things in a little bit of running water.

20:58 Dude, I don't know. What? I would be so confused if I were OP.

21:04 I mean this in the most real way possible.

21:07 Is the opposite, because it feels like it could be, is the opposite of a raccoon a crow?

21:12 No, they like bathing.

21:14 I keep thinking about this.

21:16 Yikes.

21:16 Opie continues. It made sense. Our rule is whoever cooks doesn't have to do the dishes.

21:22 I always thought since she cooks fancy meals, that's why I always had to wash so many dishes. At that point, I just laughed because what is going on? But it was also somehow funny, incredibly funny. I decided to tell her about the camera. She was offended at first.

21:38 You can only be so offended when you've been forcing your partner to wash all your dishes.

21:43 I love how it's like, I don't want to deal with washing the dishes. So I did a clandestine mission to hide the dishes in our dresser.

21:53 Yes.

21:53 Much more work.

21:54 Much more work. Gross.

21:56 So much more work.

21:57 That's kind of gross.

21:58 Well, at least it's in a bag, I guess.

22:00 That backpack's gross.

22:01 Oh, yeah.

22:01 She puts it in a bag. Then she puts the bag in the bag. Then she puts the bag that's in the bag inside a drawer.

22:08 Like, imagine Karen, because she's just doing it one at a time. One fork at a time to the drawer.

22:15 Listen, I know people, sometimes people hate washing dishes.

22:18 But can you hate it so much?

22:20 That it has to be this elaborate and, like, sneaky?

22:23 It's like when people cheat on tests, but do so in, like, those movies where students will cheat on tests in such an elaborate way. That you're like, well, why didn't you just study?

22:35 Just study for the test, bro. Put the fries in the bag.

22:38 She said she deserved it being spied on and would probably have done the same. I showed her the first post and she apologized for letting me worry so much over so little. All is well that ends well. It's a nice story, to be honest. No grudge, just a funny story to tell people in some years. For now, she's still way too embarrassed about it, as expected. From now on, I will always wash the dishes, and she will take care of the laundry. That's a good compromise.

23:04 I'm incredibly concerned by this, actually.

23:06 Yeah, okay, cool.

23:07 Me too. I like how they resolved it, but.

23:09 I think the root behavior of she was doing something, and maybe it's just like lockdown, you know, insanity.

23:15 Yeah.

23:16 I feel like it must be because he went to, I'm going to record her in her own house.

23:21 Well, and again, that's because he was like being told by the internet that she was probably doing like, you know, the big H or something. Like literally she's shooting up in the bedroom and it's like, uh, okay, well I need to make sure that's not happening.

23:34 Um, but there would probably be other signs anyway. Uh, I just don't like that. Her response was to get super angry and go be at her like sister's house for two days.

23:46 Over dishes?

23:47 Yeah, Flutterfy for you, referencing the, I'll do the laundry now, the OP said. Or she'll do the laundry until she starts hiding the laundry.

23:55 Yeah, because I can never find any socks. It used to be just one sock, but now I can't find any socks.

24:01 But I do like the way they fixed it.

24:03 Yeah.

24:03 They found a compromise. I think... It does.

24:07 Super concern me that she approached all this with, like, I'm going to get angry at you. How dare you question me? I don't love that. And it was all over dishes. Don't love it.

24:18 Yeah.

24:19 And you were lying to me. Yeah.

24:21 Yeah.

24:22 We got to bring this up.

24:23 Yeah.

24:24 Like what if I was to say, what if she lives alone? What is she going to do?

24:29 Yeah. I don't know. Hire a dishwasher.

24:32 Just editing because people are blowing it up out of proportion. I won't dump her over this. It's not as bad as you believe. It's just a childish thing. I caught her hiding once, and she thought it was too late to go back, and she went with it until I found out what she was doing.

24:48 She got angry because she was embarrassed. She is an anxious person. Some things are hard for her. It just happens.

24:53 It's 0.1% of who she actually is. I don't see things through rose-colored glasses. I am very down-to-earth and see things as they are.

25:01 A mistake. Yes, it made me do more dishes, but what is one more plate and spoon in.

25:07 The face of love? Also, we used to alternate. One day was me, one day was her. She never actually put dishes for long in the backpack. And it also was in a plastic bag then in the backpack as you would take your lunch for work.

25:19 She is just a human.

25:20 I don't think I've ever done this, but you know. She is just human after all. Sorry. We all do. We all do things.

25:28 My biggest question would be, how did you not notice the dishes just like appeared magically?

25:34 And you're like, huh, I don't remember using these today.

25:37 Well, no, it was because it was whoever cooked, the other person would clean. So when she was cooking, presumably he wasn't in the kitchen and she would run back and grab the dishes.

25:48 Right.

25:48 Put them in the sink.

25:49 But then. I guess, so he's not cooking.

25:51 So he'd be like, oh, well, I guess she just cooked with all these dishes.

25:54 Like, when is she, like, doing the drop-off? Like, when is she, like, returning and putting them back?

25:59 She's too sneaky.

26:00 I mean, clearly, I mean, OP caught her, like, four different times. Yeah.

26:06 Yeah, I support this. I don't think there needed to be a breakup. I think there needs to be a conversation about how we.

26:12 Respond?

26:13 Or just, like, saying, like, hey, I really hate doing dishes. Is there any universe which I can just not do them ever?

26:20 And I'd do something else. I just really don't like that she got.

26:23 Angry at you.

26:24 Yeah.

26:25 And that's the end of this story, and we're going on to the next one.

26:29 My wife went behind my back with our savings, so I removed her access to it.

26:33 Call that a pump fake.

26:34 I have been married to my wife, Ashley, for seven years. I am the only one that works. Ashley spends her time volunteering at a charity she started. I am fine with this, as I make enough for both of us. In financial decisions, we have equal say. I will admit that I am the numbers nerd of the relationship, so I do the budget and handle our investments. My wife has equal input into the budget. We both have to agree on it. Like many people, we are saving for retirement and a couple of other financial goals. Ashley's sister and her family are going through a lot of financial issues at the moment. My brother-in-law lost his job, and my sister-in-law is reaching out to my wife for help.

27:12 They're asking for us to cover their monthly expenses. I said, no, while we have some discretionary money, we don't have that much. Both my wife and I get fun money to spend however we wish each month. I told my wife that I would match whatever amount of her fun money she wants to give to her sister from my fun money.

27:30 My wife doesn't want to do that. She says that won't be enough money. She wants us to reduce the amount we're saving each month to help her sister. I refused. I don't want to jeopardize my family's future for her sister's present. Ashley was very unhappy with my answer, but I refused to change my mind. By the way, this comes from throwaway05232021A. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash ok story time subreddit.

27:58 I'm Sophia.

27:59 I'm Dakota.

28:00 I'm Keon.

28:01 And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we tend to have all the answers. We only know what we'd do. So let us know what you would do in the comments. And OP says... I found out last week that my wife gave her sister money out of her general savings account. That's a big no-no.

28:15 That's a big no-no.

28:17 That's a big old no-no. I was furious. To me, this is a complete betrayal of trust. I confronted her and her reply was that I forced her to go behind my back by being unreasonable. I was angry. I ended up going to the bank and opening up a new account in my name only. I moved the balance to my new accounts. I left in enough money for the expenses that she typically pays according to our budget.

28:42 Things like groceries, her gas, etc. As well as her fun money. I did not leave her without access to any money. I did leave her with access only to money that she is supposed to spend according to the budget we both agreed to. I went home and told her what I had done. She is accusing me of financially abusing her. What?

29:02 She wins the victim game. Yes. Hang him up.

29:06 The man who is supporting your whole family, who gives you the money that you agreed that you would have.

29:12 Yeah, wait.

29:14 The man you stole money from is financially abusing you.

29:18 Yes, of course.

29:20 I pointed out that she's the one that mistreated my trust, not the other way around. That it is on her to prove to me that she is worthy of my trust because after what she did, I don't trust her anymore. She said if that was the case, she should just leave. Okay.

29:36 Bye.

29:37 That she wasn't going to be treated as a child.

29:40 Hey, don't steal the door on your way out.

29:43 Yeah, or like, I don't know, like get a job that pays money. I told her to leave then because I wasn't going to give her the opportunity to steal from me again when it's clear she isn't even sorry for what she did. She left to stay with her sister and now they're both broke.

29:58 Who's paying for you now? But they can be broke together. Maybe they're going to get like a little kinetsugi type situation. They're going to become golden ladies together.

30:06 Aw.

30:06 Like the Golden Girls.

30:08 She's Betty White.

30:09 Betty White, she's the Golden Girls.

30:11 I believe I am completely justified for what I have done. She's the one that broke our agreement, but did I take it too far? This was the first time she's ever done anything like that. Did I let anger get the best of me? Am I the a-hole for taking away her access to the money? And there is an update.

30:31 What do you think? What do you think, Dakota?

30:33 Let's change the context. Okay. Wife smashed my hand with a hammer.

30:38 Ouch.

30:39 I took the hammers away.

30:40 Sure.

30:41 Am I in the wrong here?

30:43 Not in the hammer case.

30:44 No.

30:45 She said I actually am abusing her by taking her hammers away.

30:49 She does like her hammers.

30:51 I gotta hand it to her.

30:52 Hammer it to her. Hammer it to her.

30:55 Yeah.

30:56 I think it's a little silly... That she's complaining about her money being taken away when he is giving her the exact same amount that they agreed upon. And now she has no access to that money. So she kind of played herself there.

31:10 Well, I mean, she still has access to the money that was hers.

31:15 And is like.

31:16 He said he didn't... He just took her out of the savings account she was not supposed to be taking money out of.

31:23 Well, my point is she's... saying that, you know, she doesn't even want to be in this, seemingly that she doesn't even want to be in this relationship anymore. So if she goes through with that.

31:34 Oh, like what kind of? Yeah. Are they married?

31:37 My wife, yeah.

31:38 Yeah.

31:39 Okay.

31:39 They are married.

31:40 I mean, yeah, if she wants to go through with that, I would say, did you know divorce lawyers cost money?

31:47 Money, money, money. Who's going to pay for that?

31:49 Her sister.

31:50 But we got an update.

31:52 I mean, hopefully you guys could just be straight up amicable about it, but she doesn't seem like the amicable type.

31:58 I don't know.

31:58 The fact that she went around your back.

32:00 The fact that she said, I went behind your back, and she thinks she's in the right.

32:06 Yeah. And now you're being accused of wrongdoing.

32:08 Yeah, you stole her money. And in response, you said, okay, well, I'm going to put my money in a different place.

32:15 It's your money. Steal it when you need it.

32:19 Updates. Well, it looks like the posters that commented that my marriage is doomed were correct. First, after reading the post, I agreed that it was not fair that I had access to our savings and she did not, even though she gave some away without my consent. Following the advice of several posters, I contacted my bank and I found out that the account could be changed so that while both of us could deposit money, it would take both our signatures to take money out of the account.

32:46 That's a good idea.

32:47 I do prefer that. If you're trying to save your marriage... That's probably the best way to go about it.

32:52 I don't think I would.

32:52 But I don't know if I want to save this marriage.

32:54 I don't think I would at this point. Like, if you're going to really, I don't know.

32:58 This would give her the same control over the accounts that I had by putting them under my name. I contacted Ashley to let her know that I would put the money back in the joint account if we switched the account to require both of our signatures. She said no. That just showed that I didn't trust her. I told her I didn't. She had taken money without my consent.

33:18 Of course I didn't trust her. She refuses to change the account. I refuse to give her unrestricted access. So right now I'm still the only one with access to the money. It's so funny that she is going about this in this manner, being like, well, I want access to the money. So I'm actually not going to, you know, take this very reasonable deal in which I would get a little bit of access of money. And instead, I'm going to continue to have no money. Why? Why is that?

33:49 She's proving a point.

33:51 She's dug in her heels. She's like, no, no, no, no, no. I'm the victim. You did the wrong thing. I refuse to budge.

33:59 We also tried marriage counseling. Another suggestion that posters brought up multiple times. The counselor asked both of us to say what we thought was wrong with our relationship. Ashley said that I mistreated her by taking away our access to money. I said that Ashley had broken my trust by giving away money without my consent. It took a few sessions, but it became pretty clear that we just weren't going to see things the same way. I wasn't going to commit to supporting her sister's family, and she refused to see giving them money without my consent as a breach of trust. The real winner of it all was that close to the end of the month, Ashley demanded, not asked, demanded, that I put $ 3, 000... in the account

34:41 for her to use to pay her sister's bills. Girly Pop, if you want to pay your sister's bills so bad, get a job. Get a job that pays.

34:50 That's too complicated, Sophia. Come on.

34:53 She works at a charity already. It's not like she's not doing anything.

34:57 Yeah, it's called her sister.

34:59 Why don't you just work the land, grow some crops, harvest them, take them down to the market, and earn some pay for an honest... Day's work.

35:11 Not much, but it's honest.

35:13 Her reasoning was since she stayed there, we owed it to them.

35:16 Because her sister stayed with them?

35:19 Because OP's wife went to go stay with her sister.

35:22 So we owed $ 3, 000 to them. I want to bring this up to the... I want to see what the therapist says.

35:29 Because this OP's wife said, I don't like this relationship. Left to go stay with her sister and now OP owes $ 3, 000?

35:38 I need to... Bring this up to the therapist and the therapist is going to go.

35:42 That's crazy. That's absolutely bonkers.

35:45 Honestly, at this point, I'm withdrawing all the money. I'm turning it into gold and she's never seeing a cent of it.

35:49 Yeah.

35:50 Whatever, dude. I don't even care. You want to play that card? Let's play that card. I'm going to get bad. I'm going to do some bad stuff now.

35:58 I told her she was ridiculous. And then if I wouldn't do that while we were together, why in the world would I do it now? She walked out of the session. You did that in therapy? And told me that she wouldn't continue counseling until I agreed. Well, easy solution here. Divorce.

36:13 Maybe we're just missing something. Maybe she left to go stay with her sister and then they went to the Ritz-Carlton. And they spent a lot of money on room service.

36:21 We had a really good time.

36:23 We had such a good time, I bought caviar. I thought it would be cheaper.

36:28 I didn't like it, so I ordered more.

36:30 And I didn't like it, so I ordered it again, just seeing maybe if third time was the charm.

36:34 But I ate it all anyway, so they charged my card. I contacted a lawyer and filed for a legal separation and will be filing for divorce. I found that I am legally obligated to pay usual and ordinary bills of the household. but I am not required to pay any bills for where she moved to since she left voluntarily. Adoy.

36:55 So I am doing what I am required to.

36:57 I don't know. I'd be looking at the therapist and go, see?

37:00 Yeah, you don't even have to say anything at that point. Including things like paying for her car insurance and her cell phone, but I'm not giving her access to any other funds. She has asked, more like demanded, I give her money as she will be getting it when we divorce, but I don't have a way of making sure whatever she's given, comes out of the final settlement. So I am refusing. And that's the end of the story.

37:23 Hmm.

37:24 I like it.

37:25 I like that. A nice divorce.

37:27 Hmm.

37:29 She earned that, dude.

37:30 She earned it.

37:31 She earned that.

37:31 She earned it.

37:32 She earned that and she meant it.

37:33 She meant that.

37:34 And she meant that. And she really did mean that.

37:36 But folks, that's the end of that story and we got another one.

37:39 Hey, it's Keon, your favorite short king. We're going to get back to the stories, but here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

37:45 I stopped relying on my husband for everything, and I think it's making things worse.

37:50 Okay, let's go back to relying on him.

37:52 My husband, despite multiple discussions over the past two years, never takes initiative in chores or anything in our lives. I'm constantly the one reminding him and asking him to do things, and when.

38:05 I don't, it doesn't get done.

38:07 He told me he started hating me because of it about six months ago, so we both had an agreement that I will stop telling him what to do as long as he starts following up with his promises.

38:16 I followed up on my end of the promise, and he didn't. Within a few days.

38:21 We agreed that since I wake up first to work out, then make breakfast, he wakes up with our kid and takes her to daycare before work. After work, I pick up our kid and make dinner and manage the bedtime routine. And he cleans the kitchen while I do that. Every single day, I walk out after bedtime to the kitchen not having been touched.

38:43 It's so disappointing and hurtful.

38:45 Usually I get upset at him and tell him that I really want the kitchen cleaned every day, and he just brushes me off saying, he'll do it in the morning. About 25% of the time he does. But since we have the agreement, I stopped. I just pretended to ignore the mess and would get ready for bed because by then I would have to get up in seven hours.

39:02 I let him be responsible for the mess because that's what we agreed on.

39:06 By the way, this comes from a deleted user. If you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash WKStoryTime subreddit. I'm Dakota.

39:13 I'm Sophia.

39:13 I'm Keon.

39:14 And we're going to read this story. We're going to give our thoughts. We're going to give our advice. It might be a little goofy and we don't know everything. So keep that in mind when you make your own comments and we read them and we go, get a load of this guy, huh?

39:24 Get a load of this guy. What's he saying?

39:27 And OPC.

39:30 Two months later in our kitchen was always a mess. Constantly, we would have molded food on the stove next to the sink, crumbs.

39:41 Everywhere on the floor.

39:43 So I gave up and started cleaning whenever I had time. I learned to cook and clean at the same time, which is stressful with a child, but I learned. Most of the time, there were a week worth of dishes, and we have no dishwasher, so it took me a long time to catch up on washing the dishes.

39:58 What do you mean you don't have a dishwasher? It's you.

40:00 After bedtime, usually I'd be the only one cleaning. He would be laying in bed even though I wake up two hours before he does. He would literally yell at me about how I let the dishes get so stinky whenever he did wash the dishes, even though he agreed that he's responsible for cleaning after dinner. So I stopped relying on him and just started taking care of everything on my own. It's been two months of that mindset and I find it harder to respect him now. He seems like a child to me, always complaining about everything and never puts in effort. Always too tired and grumpy.

40:33 Today I was very excited because my husband brought up the idea of a movie date night.

40:39 Hmm. He never brings up date ideas or plans them, so it made me so hopeful. He said he would rent a movie and after bedtime we would watch it. I made a fancier dinner than normal and put our kid to bed.

40:51 Kid took a little longer to go down, but I was fine with it because I figured he would clean today so.

40:56 We could have a movie night. I was wrong.

40:59 He didn't even bother to close the lids on the pans on the stove. He just turned off the lights in the kitchen.

41:05 Oh, this is my nightmare.

41:07 It felt like my heart broke and I cleaned the kitchen myself again. He walked out, didn't say a word, and watched YouTube videos at the counter. Once I was done cleaning, we went to the bedroom and he just laid down and went to sleep.

41:20 It hurts so much. I was so hopeful this time.

41:24 He gets mad at me that I don't treat him like a man, but he never shows me he's reliable. Yeah, he literally sat down and watched YouTube shorts like an actual adolescent while you cleaned the kitchen, he agreed to clean.

41:38 You know, he can do that at the same time, right?

41:40 Also, the fact that you guys agreed to have a date night and he made you cook and clean is ridiculous.

41:49 And then didn't do the date. Yeah.

41:51 Yeah, there was also no movie.

41:53 Like, what is this?

41:54 Is this state of mind just like, well, clearly he crossed your boundary and then you didn't enforce it because it feels like when you enforce boundaries, he just gets really mad at you. And because you are probably a better person than him, you're out here prioritizing the stability of your child's family over your own personal feelings towards your child husband.

42:15 May this love never find me.

42:17 I'm always hurt by his actions.

42:19 Wait, he said, treat me like a man.

42:21 I'm a big boy.

42:22 I'm a big boy.

42:23 Stop treating me like a child.

42:25 I'm a big, big baby.

42:26 I can't multitask.

42:28 I'm a big bubba. He's on my phone.

42:28 I can't multitask.

42:30 Big bubba baby.

42:32 I'm a big buff baby.

42:33 Anyway.

42:34 Okay.

42:34 Any advice on what I should do? Leave. There's an update.

42:37 Leave.

42:38 Oh, no.

42:39 You saw that.

42:39 Oh, no.

42:40 That was a quick fan.

42:41 Leave. My advice is leave him. Leave him. I think.

42:46 There needs to be a level-headed discussion about how you.

42:51 Immediately had to pick up all of his slack and he wouldn't do what he said he was going to do.

42:56 And because of that, you want to try separation.

43:00 I like it, Dakota. I like it a lot. Yeah, that's it. That's it. That's the one for me. I think I'm done here.

43:07 Because clearly you're not enough to, you know, how you feel is not enough to motivate him to change.

43:14 Mm-hmm. So maybe your absence will give him the space he needs to grow as a person. Update. I didn't leave him. Yet, at least.

43:22 Cool, okay.

43:25 After that post, I had a surge of confidence and really was planning on leaving him.

43:29 Suddenly, though, he woke up one morning and it was like he was a different man.

43:33 I'm not exaggerating. He was drastically different. He made breakfast for me while I was working out.

43:38 He found the post.

43:39 He helped with making lunch and kept kissing me and sent me off to work with an I love you. I thought for sure it would stop by the time he got home later, but it didn't. He went from a man who was angry every morning and angry when he came home from work to a sweet, loving man overnight.

43:54 Okay, he either found the post, he's cheating on you, or he got hit in the head with a brick.

44:04 Or, I mean, TBI. TBI? Maybe. Traumatic brain injury.

44:11 Too much information.

44:13 Too much information. Yeah, does he have undiagnosed mental conditions?

44:17 That's what I was thinking. Brain tumor?

44:18 Yeah, or it could have just been perfect timing on his part to completely be 180.

44:24 I don't know because if she had had a conversation with him and was like, hey, wake up. I feel this way. Then I would understand the dramatic shift. But, you know, her posting this online and then immediately dramatic shift.

44:37 It just took like two months for it to digest into his man brain.

44:42 Guess so.

44:43 Demonic possession.

44:44 Could be it. Yeah, a demon got so fed up that your husband was mistreating you that it was like, I'm hopping in.

44:51 Even the demon thought that was like, this is bad.

44:53 He's like, that's bad even for me.

44:55 It was weird at first, OP says. But after a full week of being shown affection, all my plans for leaving crumbled and I was lost.

45:05 I don't like that.

45:06 He started working overtime and I started working part-time, so the issue of house chores dividing ceased. Plus, he cleaned the kitchen now while I put the child down, which was the main issue. It's been three weeks, and I feel like I'm living in a dream and I have no idea what to do.

45:22 I still haven't told him that I.

45:23 Plan to leave him. I don't know if I will or not. Probably keep that one close to the vest, OP. I can't help but feel suspicious, like there's some hidden motive to this. He even planned a date night and showed me affection after. He never does that.

45:38 Yikes.

45:39 He found this post, dude.

45:41 Genuinely, I think you need, if you want to have an adult relationship with the father of your child, I think you need to go talk to him and say, hey, I've noticed a dramatic shift because you weren't doing any of this before. What happened? I didn't even feel like we were in a partnership and now you've changed. Why?

46:02 Why?

46:03 And how can we prevent that from ever going back?

46:06 Is this a thing, ladies? Your guy treats you terribly and then he cheats on you and he treats you better? I don't know. I've never been in that situation. Some people are saying working overtime, cheating. I saw some cheating in the chat. Is that a thing? Is that a thing? Is that a pattern?

46:19 I think it's more likely that he saw that. Yeah. Muhammad says saw the post.

46:23 So I keep expecting for his usual aggression to pop out of nowhere. Sometimes he still looks at me with those scary eyes.

46:31 What?

46:32 Is he a werewolf? Is he a lizard?

46:34 I don't like that. Does he hit you with the Paddington hard stare? I don't know.

46:40 If I ever felt like my partner was staring at me with scary eyes, I'd get out of there.

46:46 But he doesn't talk or do anything aggressive anymore. I feel unsettled by all this in a way. My mental health has been spiraling too. I just feel so lost. Today he was upset because I slept in and it's making me feel so anxious for some reason. He wasn't aggressive or yelling, but I'm scared to piss him off and he will go back to how he was.

47:06 So that's where I'm at right now. Thank you for everyone who took the time to help me and I'm sorry if this update wasn't what you hoped for. Girl, leave.

47:13 I'm scared for you. It sounds, yeah, like you should leave.

47:17 I mean, like, if you're scared of your partner, not good.

47:24 I think it's even worse if you're scared of your partner acting better.

47:28 Well, I think because the fear comes from like, well, now I don't want to mess this up.

47:32 Exactly. Like if you're at the point where even your partner being good, quote unquote, scares you, we're done. We're done.

47:43 It's over. Don't come to my house.

47:46 Don't call me.

47:47 We're done.

47:49 We're done.

47:51 We are done with that episode.

47:52 Okay. Not just Cassandra says it is a pattern if he's getting fulfilled somewhere else for him to be less grumpy and be in a better mood.

47:59 Uh, I mean, he's still got scary eyes, dude. I just don't like that at all.

48:04 How about as God says BPD could be that.

48:08 But it's like, it's so, it was like BPD is usually more often on. Yeah. It was like off.

48:14 Off, off, off, off, off, off, on, but it's not even really on, you know, the scary eyes kind of gives it away.

48:20 I think personally he found the post.

48:22 I think he found the post and he's trying to be better, but some of that anger is still bleeding through.

48:28 And that's the end of this story. And we're going on to the next one. My boyfriend's friend moved in for a month and took.

48:36 Over my whole apartment. That's not very nice of him.

48:39 My boyfriend recently moved into my two-bedroom apartment. Our original plan was to sleep in one bedroom and have him put his clothes and belongings in the guest bedroom because it has a bigger closet. However, one of his friends recently fell on hard times and asked to stay with us for about a month while he finds a new place.

48:57 How many months is he staying? One.

48:59 Two.

49:00 Buckle my shoe. Three.

49:02 Four.

49:02 He'll stay here until... I snore. He'll stay here forever.

49:07 Although I do not know this friend very well, he is a good friend of my boyfriend. I have met him a few times, and he seems chill, so I agreed to let him stay. My boyfriend and I split the rent equally, but the utilities ran insurance and internet are all in my name the friend currently pays nothing except for his own food uh-oh The main problem is that this friend has a significant amount of stuff, so much so that I actually had to rent a U-Haul to help him move in.

49:35 I'm not used to having this much clutter.

49:37 Even before my boyfriend or his friend moved in, I would try to regularly go through my own stuff and get rid of things I'm not actively using. Obviously, I can't do that with someone else's belongings. So I asked him to keep most of his things in his room. By the way, this comes from Daxito24. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit.

49:57 I'm Dakota. I'm Keon.

49:58 And we're going to read this here story that I got in my hands. And we're going to give our take on it. But we don't know everything. We don't have all the answers. But let us know what you think down in the comments and hope he says. Unfortunately, the problem extends into the kitchen as well. Because he gets a lot of food from community kitchens, our cabinets are full to the brim with his cans and non-perishables, and the fridge and freezer are completely packed with his food.

50:25 I understand that he may have been in situations in the past where he lacked access to food and now feels the need to hoard it, but it's frustrating that his stuff is taking up so much space.

50:34 To cope, I try to.

50:35 Keep the food put away and somewhat organized, but he frequently leaves items out on the counter and places things in ways that take up unnecessary room.

50:43 When I ask him about it, he gets defensive.

50:45 The other day, he confronted me and asked, why do you keep your stuff out, but I have to put mine away? Mind you, the items I leave out actually belong on kitchen counters, like my cutting boards and my stand mixer. The items he leaves out are groceries, like peanut butter and jelly and mayonnaise and bread, which... are things I normally put away in a cabinet or the fridge.

51:05 In addition to that, he recently said that he did not feel at home and felt like I wanted him out.

51:11 Oh, buddy.

51:12 Oh, wow. Newsflash genius. You kind of shouldn't feel at home because this isn't supposed to be your home. It's supposed to be I'm here for a month while I find my home, right? Oh, you're not moving in for the long haul, buster.

51:27 But I don't have to pay rent.

51:28 Uh.

51:29 Everything here is free.

51:30 This is where I may have been the a-hole. I lost my temper on him and told him, this isn't your home. You are a guest in my home and the least you could do is put your things away. Oh, so completely normal.

51:42 Right.

51:42 He got upset and complained to my boyfriend, who is now trying to avoid taking sides to keep the peace.

51:48 Oh, that's a problem.

51:49 Very big problem.

51:50 If he's living with you, he should be taking your side.

51:54 This is this is your you're under our roof. You abide by our rules.

51:59 I cannot imagine. I've lived with my partner once in my life, and I can't imagine if I moved in one of my friends to help him out for a month and they started fighting.

52:09 I can't ever imagine taking my friend's side. Like, fighting about this specifically.

52:14 Okay, I was going to be like, what about the logistics?

52:16 No, like, just about this situation, you should 100% be on your partner's side here.

52:21 Especially when your friend's not paying rent.

52:24 To his credit, my boyfriend agrees with me that his friend is taking up a lot of space and that the apartment is starting to feel cramped with three people. However, he also feels that what I said was unnecessarily harsh. And he told me that I shouldn't start conflicts like that with someone who is most likely going to be living with us for a while longer.

52:41 Am I the a-hole?

52:42 Whoa.

52:42 What do you mean?

52:43 What do you mean a while longer?

52:44 So you're just an open-ended, there's no end date to this, you know, shacking up situation?

52:50 I think it was necessarily harsh. I don't think it was even harsh. I think it was the truth.

52:55 I mean, if you're going to ask a question as stupid as why is the cutting board and the mixer out on the counter, but I can't leave my mayonnaise out, that's dumb. And I think there is something to be said about, well, I don't feel like I'm at home. It's like, no, there's a difference between feeling welcome here and you feeling like you're making your home here. You're not supposed to be making your home here. This is a temporary place.

53:18 So just.

53:19 feel don't move all of yourself in you should not feel like you are completely settled because you're not and there's not really a i mean there is a nice way to say that but not when you know you've got like the the stupid force smacking you in the face.

53:34 Or you're yeah from cyclops.

53:36 From the stupid dimension just beaming it right out.

53:39 Of his eyeballs yeah uh uh yeah You're in my house. Follow my rules. Simple as that.

53:47 Yeah.

53:48 Your boyfriend needs to meet with Buddy and have a little come to Jesus moment here.

53:52 There's an edit to some more information.

53:55 This person is only staying with us because their lease ended at their previous apartment. And I guess the alternative was living with an awful sister. I realize now that he should have made arrangements to live elsewhere well before his lease was up. I have no idea how long him and my boyfriend were talking about it before he pitched the idea to me. In the state I live in, I cannot legally remove this person if they show proof of occupancy. which means they have a designated place to sleep.

54:21 They have all their clothes and belongings here, blah, blah, blah. The most I can do is hand him a 30-day notice to quit, which I will be doing tomorrow, June 15th, which marks one month since he moved in. And I will give him until July 31st to move out. And if he still doesn't leave by that time, I can then file an eviction lawsuit.

54:37 Second edit. Second edit.

55:03 Something must have happened. Or you just, you're tired of him.

55:07 I mean, like, it's honestly, it's better for him too.

55:10 Because he needs to have the, you know, the deadline of like, okay, I have to figure it out by this day.

55:19 You lit the fire under his butt. Good for you.

55:22 And if he's got a job, a month and a half, plenty of time to figure something else out.

55:27 And then if he says he can't figure it out or he needs more money, I'll be like, guess what? Sell some of this clutter.

55:32 Go live with your sister. But she's awful. Okay. Cope.

55:36 You know what's awful? Not living in an apartment or in a house. Being homeless.

55:41 Because come the end of July, your alternatives are find a new place to live or be homeless.

55:46 Those are your choices. Update.

55:48 First of all, for those of you saying to get rid of my boyfriend too, please understand that he genuinely had his heart in the right place here. When I said I wasn't sure how long he and his friend had been talking about it I just meant that he was probably excited to be able to help someone out not that they both planned it behind my back. If I had said no back then that would have been that.

56:07 After talking to him again he admitted that he really is tired of his friend being there. and that I'm being more than generous by letting him stay as long as I have. He just told me I was being harsh because he didn't want me to end up on bad terms with his friend. I don't think he realized that I'm not particularly interested in being friends with this person myself. I also found out that my boyfriend has been giving him money for groceries and driving him around, which I told him to immediately put a stop to, and he agreed.

56:32 No, is your boyfriend a little CPP?

56:34 Because he know me.

56:35 He be pleasing those people, don't he? I, I probably, maybe.

56:40 Maybe it's just like he's trying to be a good guy and like karma.

56:43 I mean, I'd help my friend. If any one of my friends, you know, was like, I absolutely have nowhere to go.

56:49 They'd be on our... Because me and Keon live together. They would be on our couch.

56:53 Yeah.

56:53 Instantaneously.

56:54 Yeah, truly.

56:55 But there would be an understanding of like, this is so that you can find your next place. Not to be your next place, you know?

57:03 Yeah.

57:04 I have consolidated all of the friend's food to one shelf in the fridge... one shelf in the freezer, and one cabinet. I told him that he needs to go through whatever didn't fit in the cabinet and either get rid of it or keep it in his room.

57:14 For the time being.

57:15 My boyfriend also talked to him and made it clear that his welcome is coming to an end. I'll be serving him the notice to quit tomorrow, June 15th, which marks one month since he moved in.

57:26 I hope the friend takes that and goes, you're right. I have been here longer than I should have been. Thank you. That's in my mind's eye of like, that sounds good.

57:37 Yeah, I mean.

57:38 Is that going to happen?

57:38 I would hope he's at least grateful, you know?

57:41 I guarantee you he's not.

57:44 He's going to go back to OP's boyfriend and be like, dude.

57:47 You need to leave your girlfriend.

57:49 She's so mean.

57:50 Yeah.

57:50 He's going to be like, you can't do this.

57:53 You can't do this to me.

57:55 Do you know what I've sacrificed?

57:56 This will give him until July 31st to find a place and move out before I can pursue further legal action. I feel this is more than fair, as he is effectively getting more than twice the amount of time that we initially agreed on. In addition to this, my boyfriend has a cousin who is a realtor who has agreed to help this friend in his search for Section 8 housing.

58:15 My father, who used to inspect apartments for a living, has also agreed to help him out. If all else fails, he will just have to move back in with his sister. Thank you all for helping both my boyfriend and I realize that we were being taken advantage of. Things have been so chaotic since this friend moved in, and we're both looking forward to having our space back.

58:33 And that is the end of that story.

58:35 Great.

58:35 Good.

58:36 I think your boyfriend was trying to be a good friend, and I think, you know, he thought it wouldn't have been this long.

58:42 Yeah, but you gotta be able to lay down the law, even if it's your buddy, dude.

58:45 Oh, if anything, I'm laying down the law immediately with my buddy.

58:48 Yeah, and it's like- That's what friends are for. Right, you know?

58:51 Tell me something's in my teeth. Tell me there's a hole in my pants. Don't be silent. Say the thing.

58:55 And that's the end of this story, and we're going on to the next one.

58:59 My roommate is taking all the furniture, so I started replacing it early.

59:03 Take all the screws and washers out of them.

59:06 So, my roommate is moving out the end of July, and told me she wants to take most of the living room furniture with her. That's fine by me because I would have wanted to sell slash give it away anyway since I'm excited to make the space my own. The existing furniture was left behind by the previous tenant before us.

59:22 Okay.

59:22 Since she's now moving in about a month and a half, I've started sourcing replacements of her some of the major stuff since that is a process that takes time. especially if you're thrifting or waiting for sales. This also means that, temporarily, We have doubles of some furniture, the piece of furniture she will be taking with her and the piece of furniture that will be staying with me. She's been getting increasingly irritated by this situation and wants me to wait until she has fully moved out to begin replacing any of the furniture because it's annoying to look at. It makes the space feel cluttered. Opie says, I agree it's annoying to look at, but I've done the best I can to put things in spaces we weren't using to

59:59 begin with or in my bedroom. So, that is the extent of the inconvenience. By the way, this comes from user ptillothrix, and if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash okstorytime subreddit. I'm Keon.

1:00:10 I'm Dakota.

1:00:11 And we're roommates.

1:00:12 Yeah!

1:00:13 But we're also goobers.

1:00:15 Ugh.

1:00:15 We don't know everything, we only know what we do, so let us know what you do in the comments down below, as OP says. I get that she wants the apartment to stay the way it's always been so she can... Relax and enjoy her last month here. But the apartment is going to be in transition regardless as she prepares for her move too. She still needs to arrange movers, a truck, someone to drive the truck, a storage unit, etc. Much less beginning to pack. Yeah, this is a month before she's moving out. I was going to say, you should have stuff in boxes ready to go or getting that ready to go.

1:00:45 Yeah, like a month out. I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:00:50 Having duplicate furniture for a few weeks isn't ideal, but it seems unreasonable to expect me to put it all off or preparations off until after she moves out and then wake up to an empty apartment the day after she moves out just because she doesn't like the way the apartment looks. But I'm open to being way off base here. Am I the a-hole? Uh, there's an edit, but is OP the a-hole?

1:01:12 I mean, for literally moving, making moves before the actual day you are left with nothing.

1:01:21 It's big brain. It's big brain. You're doing like, I think this is fine. As long as it's not, like, making it a true obstacle course around the apartment and you can walk around.

1:01:31 I mean, to some level, even if that was the case, say it was, like, a jungle gym in there.

1:01:36 Fun.

1:01:37 You're moving out. You're moving out in a couple weeks.

1:01:40 Yeah. Like.

1:01:41 The only the only way I would say you're the a-hole is if the amount of furniture you have brought into the apartment makes it infeasible for your roommate to take the furniture that they're planning to take or.

1:01:51 Walk out of the apartment.

1:01:52 Yeah.

1:01:52 Like if you literally are like barring her in with a couch.

1:01:56 Yeah, I get it.

1:01:57 But as long as it's you can still move around and walk around and you're putting stuff in your room mostly. I see no problem with this.

1:02:04 Put it in her room too like if if if she's moving out wherever it's not in the way of her getting the stuff she needs it's this is literally like not even a not even an issue it's it's crazy that she would expect you to just be left with an empty furnitureless apartment it's like then get furniture it's.

1:02:20 Like the fresh prince of bel-air like the when will smith's in the room by himself and just like looks around you know i'm talking about.

1:02:25 But uh i think so Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:02:28 He just, like, looks around and is like, it's just an empty apartment or an empty house. We have an edit. A lot of people seem to think that her taking the furniture is the problem. It really isn't. I'm glad she wanted to take it because that means I won't have to get rid of it myself.

1:02:40 Guys, listen, listen. OP said that. At the very beginning of the story, they said that.

1:02:46 She literally said... I get to make it my own place now. It's like, I don't care. It's not even my furniture. We didn't buy it. It was left here. Thing is, if she wasn't taking it, I would have already gotten rid of it and started setting the place up with my own furniture as I get my own things. At this point, don't care. You're moving out. If it's like three months ahead, sure, annoying. But if it's a few weeks, not my problem. I would be asking her, hey, can you move some of this stuff into your new apartment?

1:03:13 Maybe that'll help you move out.

1:03:16 Yeah, I mean, if that's a possibility.

1:03:17 A little bit left here. So, Opie says she's also been waffling about whether she even wants to take their furniture. I get pissed off. I would get so upset.

1:03:26 I mean, at that point, it's like, okay, then let's start getting rid of it. If this is the problem, you make your decision right now. Are you taking the furniture or not? If the answer is no, let's get rid of it, and then everyone's happy.

1:03:36 And I told her that she can do whatever she wants, but because she told me she's taking it, she has to get rid of it herself before she moves out. And in case it matters, the furniture I've gotten that's not being stored in my bedroom, completely out of sight, is two items. A couch, which is in boxes that I had been planning to buy it when she moved out, but it just went on sale and would have cost $ 500 more had I wanted it a month later. And a chest of drawers. The common spaces are not impassable, and she has said it is because of the visual clutter, not because the stuff is in her way or the way of her moving process whenever that will begin. And that's the end of that story. Then I say shut up.

1:04:12 She's upset about visual clutter.

1:04:13 Straight up, dude.

1:04:15 Girly Pop, your room should be visual clutter. Everything should be visual clutter since you're moving out in less than a month.

1:04:22 You're leaving.

1:04:23 I don't know. Silly, silly, silly. I think you're fine. I can imagine couch to couch. Like that looks like, sure, if it's not bothering anyone. But Opie, you seem fine. You're not an a-hole.

1:04:34 And that's the end of this story. And we're going on to the next one. Hey, it's Dakota, your favorite good time boy host here. We're going to get back to the stories, but here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

1:04:46 My roommate accused me of cheating her on bills. Now she's paying more.

1:04:51 Oh, look how that turned out.

1:04:53 This happened 10 years ago when I was studying abroad in Spain.

1:04:57 What's your name?

1:04:58 I had rented a four bedroom apartment and then advertised the other rooms trying to find nice flatmates. The first two were great, but I was struggling to find a fourth one. There were some people interested, but I just had a bad feeling about them. In the end, I decided to accept this Russian girl against my better judgment.

1:05:16 She was trouble from the beginning. Always in a bad mood. Always acting as if the world owed her something. She said many times she hated Spain, and I'm thinking, why are you here then? Yeah, wait.

1:05:27 I hate Spain. Spain is like Spain without the S.

1:05:31 I hate Spain. I do not like this place. Spain is full of.

1:05:35 Where is my bird?

1:05:37 Where is my bird? That is not my bird.

1:05:39 She always seemed paranoid that she was being cheated by everyone. For example, once she found out I didn't pay the same amount as the other three, communism, communism! Obviously I paid less, says OP. I was the one who found the flat. It was my name on the contract and all bills. I was liable for all damages. They weren't my friends. I didn't have a contract with them. It was all casual. So she told me it was illegal to sublet and that if I didn't start paying the same, she'd call the police.

1:06:07 What a brilliant move.

1:06:09 Once I make my move, you're free to take my rent.

1:06:13 She's like, did you know it's illegal for you to have us here? It's like, great point.

1:06:17 Get out. Officer, there's a strange woman trying to move her stuff into my apartment.

1:06:22 She says she hates Spain, too. She hates España. And they're going to go, oh, she hates tapas.

1:06:27 I heard she doesn't want you guys to win the World Cup.

1:06:30 I told her it was only illegal if the owner of the property wasn't aware of it.

1:06:35 Bingo.

1:06:35 By the way, this comes from a hopeful bleep. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash OK story time subreddit.

1:06:41 I'm Dakota.

1:06:42 I'm Keon.

1:06:43 We're going to read this little story. We're going to have our little thoughts. We're going to say them out loud. And you can say yours, too, in the comments. Just know that we don't know anything.

1:06:50 I mean, anything. We don't know everything. See, I barely even know how to talk.

1:06:53 See, proved his point.

1:06:55 And OP says, she actually found the number of the owner and called him to complain about me. Luckily, he's a cool guy and told her, I have my contract with him.

1:07:05 Whatever you agreed with him is your problem. Hey, chill Spanish landlord alert.

1:07:13 Love those guys.

1:07:14 I only know this because he called me saying, that girl's trouble. Anyway, this long year comes to an end, and we all need to go back to our countries. Before that, we need to calculate our final expenses. The way it works in Spain, they only check your gas and water twice a year, I think. In the meantime, you pay an estimate, and when they check, they adjust, and you either pay more or receive money back.

1:07:37 That's crazy.

1:07:38 That is weirdly chill.

1:07:41 So Spain treats utilities like America treats taxes?

1:07:44 Yeah. That's crazy.

1:07:49 To simplify the calculations, I had been the one paying all the bills every month. Then once they checked the gas and water and we had the correct number, I'd be able to calculate exactly how much they owed me. Trying to avoid any complaints from the Russian girl who I was sure would think I was cheating her somehow, I made the clearest table possible.

1:08:08 Every bill was attached to it.

1:08:09 The final thing you need to know for this to make sense is that halfway through the year, a friend of mine found himself with nowhere to live. I had an extra mattress, so I told him he could stay with me until he found a new place. He only stayed for three weeks in my room, but he's the tidiest person I know, so he was cleaning the apartment and he would surprise us with dinners and other treats.

1:08:30 My other two roommates actually told me we should just boot out the Russian girl and have my friend move in permanently with us.

1:08:36 Honestly, this guy cooks and helps out everyone and is a joy to be around.

1:08:42 I heard that. Eventually, he found a new place and left us. So when I was calculating the expenses, I thought it would be nice to just deduct 10 euros from what each flatmate owed me to compensate for the extra water, gas, electricity he used.

1:08:56 It was way generous. There is no way his presence added 30 euros to our bills. but I did it anyway. After doing that, the final total was something like 304 something like, and then gives the exact number of 304 And 32 cents, euros per person. I told them to just round it down to 300, thinking I was the most generous landlord they'd ever find.

1:09:20 I got a feeling that.

1:09:23 The Russian girl is gonna be difficult.

1:09:26 Yeah, yeah. I mean, so how's this gonna blow up in her face, right?

1:09:33 She's, oh, so she's gonna be, she's gonna complain that that can't be the right number and it's gotta be less.

1:09:40 And I'm only paying exactly what is owed, blah, blah, blah. And it's going to be like, all right, cool. So pay me four extra euros then. It says you want it to be equal.

1:09:48 It's going to be that.

1:09:49 It says you want it to be fair. Go ahead and toss up four more euros for me, babe. Thanks. Of course the Russian girl wasn't happy.

1:09:56 She told me she didn't think it was fair that I was just guessing it and that my friend had stayed for almost a month. So I should recalculate it. But divide one month by five instead of four.

1:10:06 What?

1:10:07 You think the fifth, okay, whatever.

1:10:09 I was just rolling my eyes like it must be so exhausting being you.

1:10:13 So I was like, okay, let's do it together. So you don't think I'm cheating you. She sat by me and we revised the accounts and voila.

1:10:21 By doing it her way, she now owed me more. It was just like five euros more. But of course, I didn't round it down this time. I had her give me every last cent. When the world is dark and I'm depressed, one of my favorite memories to go back to is her face as she was handing me those final worthless coins.

1:10:40 And that is the end of that story. Yeah.

1:10:42 No, this is wrong.

1:10:43 You have to do it my way.

1:10:45 Okay, let's do it your way. You owe me more.

1:10:47 Is that 305? Well, what's fair is fair.

1:10:52 The thing is, I feel like the fact that you did it her way, she couldn't argue it, which great.

1:10:58 She couldn't argue it. You get to be like, you know what? This is much better. This is a much more fair solution.

1:11:03 I like this. Yeah. I like this a lot.

1:11:06 Thanks.

1:11:06 I can buy a sangria with this now. Appreciate it.

1:11:09 And that's the end of this story.