I let my in-laws live RENT FREE in my home… they pushed my parents to a hotel! -r/AmITheAsshole | Reddit Stories | EP3107

0:00 Hey, this is Angie.

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0:11 I let my in-laws live rent free in my home and they pushed my parents into a hotel.

0:17 Well, I'm pushing them out of this house.

0:19 My 36 female parents and I own a property in a tier one Asian city that has been in our family for three generations now.

0:27 Tier one Asian city.

0:29 Tier one Asian city.

0:30 Shanghai.

0:31 I'm going Hong Kong.

0:33 My parents were considering selling it a while back, but I bought them out. Though I paid lower than market price, my parents were happy with the deal. and they still have a place to stay when they come back. Usually the property is being rented out, but my husband's younger brother fell on hard times, and we offered to let them temporarily stay at the property rent-free so they can save up.

0:55 They've been there for the past two years. Have they been saving?

0:59 That's too long. You've got to put some sort of rule, agreement, contract that says, hey, you've got to be out by now. Two years is too long.

1:12 Is he still jobless?

1:13 Do they have any money?

1:14 What are they doing?

1:15 Whenever we've gone back to visit, usually once a year for two weeks, I've had to specifically request that they temporarily vacate the primary bedroom. They hemmed and hawed the first time until my husband, 38, reminded them that we were doing them a favor. This year we are not going back, but my parents are. I gave them a half year heads up on the dates my parents were going.

1:38 And it all seemed fine.

1:39 Last week, I got a call from my parents saying they were staying in a hotel. Apparently, they arrived and my brother-in-law and sister-in-law said they were hosting friends and the only space available was the home office with a pull-out couch. My parents are in their 70s and did not want to fight them after a long flight and also did not want to antagonize my relationship with my in-law's So they decided to just move themselves to a hotel.

2:05 By the way, this comes from Tech in the City.

2:07 And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash OK Storytime subreddit. I'm Dakota.

2:11 I'm Sophia.

2:12 I'm Keon.

2:13 And we are here to read this story and have our thoughts. And you get to have yours in the comments. And we all get to get along and.

2:20 Have a wonderful time getting along. Always. So I was furious.

2:27 And fast.

2:27 Typing this, I am still furious.

2:29 And fast.

2:31 I told my husband that he should be the one to handle this because no one would like the way I handle it. My husband basically told his brother that he's done and he needed to move out immediately.

2:41 Nice. And that's what we do.

2:44 Yeah. The second they disrespect the fact that you guys have been housing them for two years for free, they're gone.

2:53 Yeah.

2:54 Get him out of here. Get him out of here.

2:58 Get him out of here.

3:00 This should have been gone after maybe six months at the most.

3:04 My brother-in-law and sister-in-law texted me and left me voice notes calling me a bunch of names.

3:08 That'll make you change your mind.

3:10 Yeah, I just text them. I let you live for free for two years. If you say anything, I'm taking you to court. I don't know.

3:19 Taking you to court.

3:21 Taking you out back and I'm dunking on you.

3:23 Take you to court.

3:25 Take me to court.

3:27 My in-laws have called me begging me to reconsider and to give them grace. You already gave them two years worth. Frankly, I don't really care what happens to brother and sister-in-law anymore. I haven't responded to any messages, and I am just letting my husband handle it.

3:39 And there is an update.

3:41 That's exactly what you should be doing. That's not your problem.

3:46 It's not their problem. They had no problem. You were preventing their problems.

3:51 They had the best deal ever. For two years, and then they squandered that. They probably could have gotten away with living there for a long time if they had just acquiesced to OP's rules, OP and her husband's rules.

4:06 Yeah, that's all it took.

4:08 Couldn't have been there for four years.

4:10 Update, brief update.

4:12 My husband ended handling the situation and had to take time off to travel back, which he was not pleased about. We had decided it was prudent for us to pay for a few months of alternative housing for them as a way to cover all our bases, and I'm so glad we did. I had, in a fit of temper, jokingly said to husband that they were going to tell us they couldn't move out because they're pregnant, and lo and behold, when brother-in-law used that excuse, apparently it just set my husband off. This is a man that has never raised his voice to me above an excited rambling.

4:46 I think the rage he went into genuinely... scared his family.

4:50 Get him out. Get him out. Put him in the woods. I used to put people in the pit. I used to put people in the ocean. Now I'm putting people in the woods.

5:00 You're running for your life, child above.

5:02 Brother-in-law and sister-in-law are now situated in the alternative housing. My in-laws call my parents to apologize and overall the whole atmosphere is tense. But at least brother and sister-in-law are no longer living in my house, and we can have peace of mind there. All in all, through this experience, I feel incredible love and pride.

5:20 To have married my husband.

5:22 I married this straight-off-the-boat dude based on his principles, integrity, and kindness. And time and time again, he's shown me why I have zero regrets over it. Boom.

5:32 That's the end of that story.

5:33 Boom diggity. Look at you go up here. You got them out of your house. And now you have a nice house that you can go hang out in. And they will not bother you.

5:42 And that's the end of this story. Let's head to the next one.

5:46 A stranger matched with me on an ancestry test and turned out to be my son.

5:51 Guess he's not much of a stranger anymore.

5:54 My wife, 45 female, and I, 45 male, have three kids. 19 male, 18 male, 11 female.

6:02 My 18-year-old son is Blake. He's not me or my wife's biological son. He's my best friend's son.

6:09 Wow.

6:10 My best friend tragically passed away when Blake was seven. My best friend was like a brother and he was a single father. My wife and I ended up getting legal guardianship of Blake after my best friend passed away and Blake was seven. We got guardianship of Blake for a lot of reasons, but that isn't my story to tell.

6:27 That's Blake's story, so I will not go into detail. But Blake is my son. I will always respect and honor his biological father, but Blake views me as his dad and he views my wife as his mom. My other kids, 19 male, 11 female, are his siblings. Things have not been easy, but Blake has grown into an amazing man that I am so proud of.

6:48 A little backstory.

6:49 My wife and I broke up like six weeks after our oldest son, Danny, was born because the stress of parenthood was driving me and my wife apart.

6:57 We were not married at the time.

6:59 So we went off and lived our own lives as single people for about a year. I was of course still an involved father towards my oldest son. During the beginning of me and my wife's breakup, when Danny was maybe four months old, I met a woman who was a lot older than me, Lily.

7:14 Me and Lily were never a couple.

7:15 We met up a few times and never spoke to each other after that. By the way, this comes from MajesticB7045. If you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit.

7:24 I'm Dakota.

7:25 I'm Sophia.

7:26 And we're going to read this story.

7:27 We're going to have our goofy little pieces of advice, and you can put yours down in the comments, and we can all get along and have a wonderful time.

7:34 And OP says, Lily has a son, James.

7:37 Oh, you're a Harry Potter fan.

7:39 Mm-hmm.

7:40 Apparently, she thought James was the son of Lily's husband, who she's still with to this day, despite the fact Lily cheated on her husband.

7:49 I had no clue she was married, by the way.

7:51 James took an ancestry test when he turned 18, had some results that didn't quite match who he thought was his biological father. He matched with me on ancestry because I took a test a few years back. James got in contact, which obviously was a shock to me, but my wife and I have welcomed him into our family with open arms.

8:09 It's great.

8:09 Now I have four kids, 19 male, 18 male, 18 male, 11 female. I'm still figuring out my father-son dynamic with James, but he is a great guy, and I'm so happy he's part of our lives now, despite how confusing this whole situation was at first. But James seems to have some issues with Blake.

8:28 Ruh-roh.

8:29 Classic. The two adopted kids are fighting, but one of them's not really adopted.

8:33 Yeah, it's like, no, I'm adopted. It's like, well, I was... I mean, I never knew him until I was an adult, but I am his actual bio son.

8:41 No, they're fighting over who's the adopted child.

8:43 Oh.

8:43 Someone to be a rival with for all time. Blake does not know. I'm not entirely sure why James seems to resent Blake. Earlier today, James asked me if we could go on a father-son camping trip with Danny. I was, of course, very much enthusiastic about a camping trip with my sons, especially since I missed so much of James's life, but I obviously mentioned that Blake is invited, too.

9:08 And James got annoyed.

9:09 James is jealous. You took in Blake at seven years old and James, who in his eyes is like, well, I'm your bio son and I haven't seen you at all my whole life.

9:19 I didn't know about you, though, dude. Exactly.

9:21 But he's a young kid.

9:23 He's what, 18, 19?

9:23 Mm hmm. He's young. He's jealous.

9:27 He kept telling me that Blake doesn't have to be invited to everything. Then he told me that it would be nice for me to just spend time with my actual sons for once without Blake.

9:36 Now that.

9:38 You just got here, James. We can't be saying these things.

9:40 He's spreading out those elbows and knees. He's making himself real comfy in this place. He sure is.

9:46 Now that annoyed me. Blake is my son just as much as Danny and James are. So I told James that either Blake is invited or the camping trip's not happening. James is now accusing me of loving Blake more than I love him, so am I overreacting?

10:00 Episode of Full House where one of the girls is like, you're always favoring the younger one over me.

10:06 What was that show? This Is Us, I think. This Is Us.

10:09 It's just the life lesson, the moral of the story is going to be OP sitting James down and saying, hey, bud, I know it's been tough for you. I know it's all new, but we're a family here. You, me, Blake, simpatico.

10:27 It would probably be a good idea to do some one-on-one just to set the record straight.

10:32 We got some comments.

10:34 Coxel Anonymy says, it's great that you're welcoming this new addition with open arms, but what do the people who raised him, Lily and stepdad, think or say or act about it? How does your wife feel about it? After such a monumental discovery about his existence, is James an individual therapy and has he been given avenues to process emotions or feelings in a healthy way? OP says, Lily says she genuinely didn't know James was my son, but I don't really speak to her.

11:01 James is an adult.

11:02 He contacts me and I have no reason to contact his mother apart from my initial conversation with Lily. asking why she didn't tell me. Hey, that's the dumbest thing I've heard in this story so far. You don't have anything to ask Lily about your son that she raised for eight years?

11:20 Really? You don't think there's anything relevant y'all could talk about?

11:22 That's a good point.

11:23 I think Lily and her husband are in a bad spot right now with their marriage. My wife, bless her heart, has been incredibly understanding. Of course, this was difficult for her, but she seems to be handling the situation well.

11:35 Huntress145 says.

11:37 Have you asked James how the man he thought was his father is treating him now? Opie says James is kind of reserved about that topic. I know he had a good bond with the man he thought was his father for years, but based on how reserved James is about the topic now, I would assume Lily's husband has been acting distant.

11:55 Uh, germ... Grimflick? Germfunkle. Yes.

12:00 Sorry for the questions, but I am confused. Did something happen that caused James to have to come live with you? Was he not raised by his mom's husband as his father? Does James have a good relationship with his mom and her husband? Everyone else is focused on his relationship with you and Blake, but what is the nature of his relationship with the people that raised him? By the way, you're not the a-hole. Yeah, buddy, I think something happened.

12:24 I think it came to light that that wasn't his kid.

12:27 Yeah, and then he walked away.

12:29 We actually don't live too far apart.

12:31 James has been staying with us more because Lily and Lily's husband have been arguing a lot because of the situation. What is the Brendan Lee Mulligan quote about laws just being threats of violence?

12:42 Laws are just the threat against... I actually don't know if I... But yes, I know what you're talking about.

12:46 This arguing has gone on for months.

12:49 James feels resentment towards his mom right now, and I get the impression that Lily's husband didn't react well to James not being his biological son. Although James isn't exactly telling me much about the situation. Major specific, 127. Why were you not using protection when you already had an infant baby you were responsible for? Are any more surprise children from your year of fun going to show.

13:12 Up on your doorstep?

13:14 You should appreciate a wife who will keep rolling with all this. Also, I hope you consider how all these changes impact your daughter and give her some extra time too.

13:22 That was an entirely unhelpful comment.

13:25 It's too late. Except for the last part.

13:27 Except for the last part.

13:28 Yeah. OP says, my wife broke up with me.

13:31 Oh.

13:32 I will be honest and admit that I was not the best partner to my wife at the time.

13:36 We went to therapy and we have gotten through that.

13:38 I will always own up to the fact that I was not the best man I could have been at that time.

13:43 My wife is amazing. I will never take her for granted again. And there's an update.

13:48 Folks, are we going to get a James versus Blake wrestling duel to find out who's really.

13:54 Who's the best child? Who's your favorite child, me or Blake?

13:58 Who's on top?

13:59 King of the hill type showdown. Whoever stays on top of the hill is your son.

14:04 Yeah, I'm good with that.

14:05 I'm good with turning this into like a feat of strength. To answer a few questions I saw, Lily and her husband have been arguing the past three months since James found out I'm his biological father. James never told me specifically how Lily's husband reacted, but I have a feeling that the reaction was not good.

14:21 I favored a guess. I'd agree. I think they were just arguing a bunch and James was like, I don't want to be around this.

14:26 Prior to James doing an ancestry DNA test, Lily's husband was a great father to him. James did not live with us full time, but he often stayed at our house to get away from the arguing.

14:37 And now on to the update.

14:38 After I made that post yesterday, Blake came and spoke to me about some incidents that have happened with James the past three months. Unfortunately, James has some views that our family does not agree with. And Blake was a target of those views, leading to some really rude interactions the past few months. The only reason Blake told me now is because he heard from James that James did not want to invite Blake on the camping trip. Blake had tried to keep the peace these past three months, bless him. Obviously, I was angry at hearing how James had treated Blake. So I spoke to James this morning and confronted him about this topic. He didn't even deny his views. He tried to convince me that I should

15:13 boot Blake out.

15:14 Of the house.

15:15 I don't think this is the full reason he dislikes Blake, but this doesn't help James's resentment. As of right now, I have told James he's not welcome back in my house while he still holds these views. Nor am I interested in informing a father-son bond with somebody who has these views.

15:31 Conspiracy. Yeah, he's like, he's got straight hair.

15:35 Straight hair. I hate straight hair. Disgusting.

15:40 If and when James matures a bit, he will be welcomed into our lives again, but not right now.

15:46 Let's see how this story ends.

15:47 Oh boy. Blake deserves to feel that his home is a safe space. James is not welcome back here. I'm taking Danny and Blake on the camping trip because they do still want to go camping. I have empathy for James's family situation, but at the end of the day, I don't tolerate those views in my life. This was not the update I wanted to give, but that is the situation.

16:08 And that is the end of that story. Good for you.

16:10 Yeah.

16:10 Good for you protecting your son.

16:12 Yeah, I think James needs to learn that to be welcome into your home, he has to respect you and your family. Even if he is your biological son, you can't just get away with saying anything.

16:23 Yeah, truly. And that's the end of this story. Let's head to the next one.

16:28 I pay my parents' mortgage, but my mother told me to move out.

16:31 Hey, I paid for this place, Ma.

16:33 I genuinely cannot tell if I'm the A or not. Most of my family seems to think I am, but I feel as though they don't know why I feel this way. I, 22 female, live with my parents. I also pay $ 1, 200 in rent, which covers their mortgage.

16:47 That's pretty steep parent rent.

16:50 Yeah, I would move out.

16:52 Did you know you can just live somewhere for.

16:57 $ 1, 200?

16:57 And maybe less.

16:58 I mean, I guess it depends on where you live, but.

17:01 And we have a lease agreement signed and notarized. Everything for the most part is fine, except when they try acting like I'm still a child. I can easily brush this off because I'm their youngest and they will always feel this way about me. About two weeks ago, my mom has told me she was having my niece's party at her house. I was excited in the beginning because I absolutely love my niece. My mom's history with having parties at her house is about a 50-50 chance that people will fight or everything will be fun. Oh, it's not a Great odds there.

17:33 I'll take those odds.

17:34 My dad was a little bit irritated that she told everyone that my niece's party was going to be here, but he quickly got over it. Last week, my mom came to me saying that they didn't have any extra money for the party. I think you can see where this is going. So she asked if I could pitch in. I asked about how much she needed and she said about $ 500. I told her I'd give her $ 250 because my dad would get paid two days later. She said that she couldn't buy everything she needed with $ 250. And $ 500 might not even cover everything. For your niece's birthday?

18:07 Time to buy some other things, girl. What are we talking about?

18:11 You don't need that much money for your presumably minor niece's birthday. By the way, this comes from Shoddy Rice, 730. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash okay story time subreddit. I'm Sophia.

18:24 I'm Dakota.

18:25 I'm Keon.

18:26 And we're here to give good advice goofily. And if you have advice, put it down below. Opie says. So I asked her to ask my niece's mom or my brother for the money as she is not my child and I can't afford to give her $ 500 at the moment. My dad makes over $ 150, 000 a year in salary. I do all of the grocery shopping and pay for it.

18:47 So my mom can do her outdoor projects at the house. You do all of the grocery shopping and pay for it and also pay $ 1, 200 in rent a month? Live alone.

18:59 How certain are you that your dad makes $ 150, 000?

19:03 Live alone. Your dad is broke.

19:06 Hold on. That's why he's making that much because he's not paying for it.

19:10 Yeah, he's not paying any other money.

19:11 Yeah.

19:12 Wow.

19:12 My mom has been upset with me ever since that conversation. Skip forward to today. She is once again upset with me because none of the housework is done for the party, and I'm not working fast enough to help her. I'm the only one doing the housework today. The party is at 2.30pm and it's currently 10.15am, and all the housework is done, plus I made all the sides she was going to make. She's been yelling at me to do everything and I understand that she's stressed because a lot of people are coming over. But I told her in a moment of anger to quit having parties at our house if you're going to get so angry at everyone trying I mean, not going to lie, OP cooked with that one.

19:57 Hey, if parties make you mean to everyone, stop throwing parties. Stop it.

20:02 If I'm going to be ungrateful for living in her home, then I can move out. Honestly, yes. OP, do that.

20:08 She says that like you don't actively pay like close to $ 2, 000 a month.

20:13 Yep. My dad told me that I have every right to be upset, but I need to not talk to my mom like that. I agreed with him and went to apologize to my mom, but she just said the damage is done and asked when I'd be finding a new place to live. Tell me one benefit of living with your parents. Just one.

20:30 I get headaches. I get stressed out. I have anxiety. I'm spending way too much money. All the benefits.

20:36 Those are all the benefits.

20:37 Learning how to not get manipulated in the future. Also, I just have to point out, someone in the comments said, is this a Bruno Mars casino situation? And I got to say, If Bruno Mars was Bruno Marsh, what a different world.

20:51 We would live in.

20:53 Talking to the Marsh.

20:55 Just really quick, what kind of music does Bruno Marsh make? First, off the top.

21:00 Punk rock. Yes.

21:01 Creole banjo.

21:04 My dad doesn't want me to move out because they are really relying on me to pay my rent during summer. Because they have so much to do on our property that they can't afford the mortgage and projects.

21:14 What do you mean they can't afford it?

21:16 I don't think your dad makes $ 150, 000.

21:18 Maybe under 50 bucks.

21:19 Asked my brother and uncle that are here. And they both said that I'm the a-hole for talking to my mom that way. And that I should find a new place to live because I'm 22 and living with mommy and daddy time is over.

21:30 I pay rent! You paid your rent.

21:35 So Reddit, am I the a-hole for telling my mom to quit having parties at their house? Genuinely, you're self a-hole.

21:41 Move out.

21:42 Move out.

21:42 Self a-hole, get out of there, girly. You are paying their mortgage. And they rely on you to pay your mortgage. I think the mom is bluffing. I think she's kicking OP out and then she's going to realize, oh, shoot, we need her here because we can't afford this.

21:56 Too late.

21:56 Yeah, definitely don't pay that month's rent. If she's already kicking you out, don't pay any rent.

22:03 Any more money. Yeah, make sure they can't just take it out of your account either.

22:08 Yeah.

22:09 Didn't expect to get very many comments on this and started to think I was the a-hole. Thank you to everyone in the comments for your advice. A little background on my family dynamic. My brother is 25 and has two kids with two different moms. He's single and has zero custody over either child. and lives in an apartment.

22:30 My dad works out of town all the time, which leaves my mom by herself a lot. She hates being alone at night, which caused me to switch jobs a little over a year ago. With my new job, I'm making roughly 73K a year. For 22 years old, pretty good. You absolutely could afford to live on your own. Or just not live here.

22:52 Truly.

22:52 Or with a roommate.

22:54 Truly, you could... live anywhere for that amount of money it just maybe not dubai but you could live anywhere for that amount of money it just depends on how big a place you want.

23:04 You could probably live in dubai you just really wouldn't like it uh you.

23:07 Live in a box in dubai really tight.

23:09 Didn't what'd she say about her mom was scared or something.

23:12 Her mom was scared to be alone at night because the dad's out often.

23:16 So yeah so that was that was the whole so she reason for living.

23:20 There moving there No, I think that OP had a job where she was working at night and then she shifted it. What I don't spend, I put into savings. Smart. My dad was the one to initially ask me to pay rent because they were struggling. They are constantly giving my brother money and your brother had the audacity to say anything about you. I agreed, but I told them I want a lease agreement. No, I do not need to give them notice to move out. It was more so that I could also gain renter's history for when I move out.

23:53 Oh.

23:53 They both agreed, and that was it for about a month. Then my brother was constantly coming over and eating all of the groceries. So I started buying my own and keeping it in my room or in the fridge with labels on it. I have always done house chores, but when my dad is gone, I take on all of the house chores.

24:12 So you....

24:14 I genuinely don't understand.

24:16 What are the perks of living at home?

24:18 You're getting none of them.

24:19 Because usually there's at least a tiny perk of living at home. Yeah, the benefits don't outweigh them. It doesn't seem like OP.

24:26 Did it for any perks. It seems that her parents said, hey, we need help. And then she was like, okay, yeah, I'll help you guys.

24:32 I think she might have already lived there.

24:35 She might have.

24:36 She might have.

24:36 But she totally could have moved out. It seems that she chose to stay to help them.

24:41 Yeah, it's time to move.

24:43 Getting groceries started getting expected of me when my dad came home and my mom refused to go to the grocery store because she was doing her projects. So I took it on because it wasn't fair to my dad for him to work all day and not have any food in the house for him. My brother will come over unannounced and pillage through our pantry and fridge. Now for the actual update. My dad is furious with my mom over this. Of course he is. You were paying their mortgage.

25:10 Your mom is stupid and.

25:11 Didn't realize that. My dad isn't speaking to my mom or my brother at the moment. He doesn't want me to move out and even talk to me about doing less around here. Yeah.

25:22 Now he's realizing, oh, no, my golden goose or my golden cow is leaving.

25:27 Oh, no.

25:27 Who's going to pay my mortgage? Shoot.

25:30 Who's going to pay for the groceries? Who's going to do the household chores?

25:34 Oh, no.

25:35 Yeah, it really feels like mother played a hand that she just didn't have. He wants me to be able to go out and have fun with my friends without feeling like I have so much to do. He said it was their house before I started paying rent. He asked if I would like to get on the paperwork for the house because I'm paying the mortgage. I said no, I would rather move out and try to have a better relationship with both of them. My dad suggested going no contact with my brother because he's mad over money.

26:00 My dad told my mom to grow up and learn a budget. Now I feel like I'm causing a huge split in my family.

26:06 Why?

26:06 It's not you at all. It's your mom and your brother.

26:09 It's just showing how dependent they are on you.

26:11 Yeah. Your mom has given birth to this problem. Yep. And it's not you.

26:18 It's not. You're not the problem. You are their only savior because brother is bleaching off of them. Mom is not contributing at all. You're doing all the household chores and paying the mortgage. I told them I can move out tonight. I have a friend that's been trying to get me to move in with her, but my mom is refusing to let me take any of my stuff.

26:40 I own everything in my room. Just take it. That's crazy. Just take it.

26:45 What is she going to do?

26:46 We're still waiting for the party to happen, but one of my friends said he would come help me move whenever. He works for my dad, but he doesn't want to get too involved in everything. We have a second update. It's crazy that the party is still happening.

27:00 She's a party monster.

27:01 Yeah. She's like, the party has to go on, but also I'm going to stop you from moving out tonight. Update two. The party ended a few hours ago, and my dad actually told my mom that he needed to talk with her. She kept insisting she was tired and wanted to go to bed, but he basically told her to sit down and listen. I asked if I could also talk to both of them, and my dad eagerly agreed.

27:26 Everyone in my family knows I'm not very confrontational, so the fact that I asked to talk to both of them scared my mom. I told them both that I'm going to move out, and I can stay with my friend until I find a place. My dad said that he totally understands and will give me the money from this month's rent. My mom blew up.

27:45 Oh, no.

27:46 Don't care.

27:46 Oh, man. Wasn't it her suggestion in the first place?

27:50 Didn't she say move out anyway? I'm just like, I'm following what she said.

27:54 I don't know what you want, Mom. She started saying how close we are, and it's completely silly to take what we each said to heart.

28:01 Oh, no. Don't care.

28:04 That we both said things out of spite and hurt, but we can move past it. I told her that I'm really not comfortable paying for everyone in the house to live while they are building things to make their home prettier. I also told her that I'm a tenant, not a freeloading child, thus I have tenant rights. She came back with, you will always be my child and I will always be your mother. I have your best interest at heart. Not all of these boys you bring to my house. The boys in question are a few of my dad's coworkers that come over with their wives to hang out with my dad and learn to make sourdough.

28:38 Maybe that's what all the money's going into.

28:41 So they're your dad's friends? And she's like, oh, you're bringing all these boys over.

28:45 Your mom sounds like she's losing it.

28:48 I think so. This happens once a week at most. I told her there is only one guy that has my best interest at heart, and that's her husband. I have to wholeheartedly disagree with that statement.

29:03 Why?

29:03 I don't think that her dad has her best interest at heart.

29:07 Okay.

29:07 He was making her pay $ 1, 200 and all the groceries.

29:09 Well, it turned out that was to have the rent, you know. So when she does move out and they go, oh, have you ever rented before? You go, yeah, look, here's my renting history.

29:18 But OP asked for that afterwards.

29:21 I don't think so.

29:22 Yes, that's what it said. He said, hey, can you pay rent? And she said, okay, but I want to have a contract.

29:29 Well, yeah, that would be when they first started paying rent.

29:33 Please give me rent.

29:34 I think just given the way that he's acting now, I don't I think he does.

29:38 Look out for her first because he's like, yeah, get out of here.

29:41 I don't know. I personally think that dad is not looking out for her. I think.

29:46 Yeah.

29:46 My mother became more and more irritated, so I decided to leave for the night. I'm currently at my grandpa's house sitting and watching TV with them, eating snickerdoodles that I taught him how to bake. Fire. He told me that I'm always welcome to come stay with him for however long I want, free of charge. See that? That's nice.

30:03 As long as I do the cooking, only because this man cannot cook anything other than hot dogs over a fire.

30:08 That's all you need to know.

30:10 My grandfather is so disappointed in his son, grandson, and daughter-in-law, and that makes me kind of sad. I've always been very close to him, so he knows everything that's been going on for a while. He was telling me that I needed to see things for myself the way they were, and I will finally understand. He was right, and I'm very happy to be here with him. I have to go to the house tomorrow to pack my things and move.

30:32 And we've got an update. It keeps coming.

30:36 It just keeps happening.

30:37 I like the title of the update.

30:39 Update I don't know anymore.

30:41 I can't keep track.

30:42 Hashtag I don't know anymore.

30:44 I think it's number I don't know anymore.

30:45 Oh, probably that.

30:46 I've lost track of the numbers.

30:47 Update number.

30:48 I am officially moved out.

30:52 You're out of there.

30:53 And I'm living with my grandfather till the 25th. Then I move into my own place. That's awesome. I love that you have a grandfather that cares about you. I think he's the only guy that actually cares about you. It's not big, but it's perfect for me. My mom has been calling and leaving voicemails, either screaming or crying.

31:09 My brother is beyond pissed about the situation. Yeah, because he lost his free income. You were paying for his rent and also his groceries every time he would sneak into your house and steal all that.

31:22 Yeah.

31:24 But luckily, my dad and him left to go out of town for work. I am happy where I am for a little bit, but we'll be looking for a bigger place with a roommate after my six-month lease is up. To answer some questions about my family that I've seen asked a few times, my grandfather owns the company that my dad and brother work for. I was always welcome to work there, and I did for a year, but my relationship with my family was very strained at the time, hence why I changed careers.

31:49 Gee, I wonder why. Why was it strained? Hmm. Hmm.

31:56 My parents bail my brother out of every situation he finds himself in, They have asked me on multiple occasions to help my brother out with money for all types of reasons.

32:06 Uh, yeah.

32:07 Don't pay $ 1, 200 in rent to live at home.

32:11 Yeah.

32:11 I think you were swindled, and I'm glad that your grandfather's on your side and that you're moving out.

32:17 Very easy.

32:18 But we've got a little bit left. The project's at the house. My mom started her own lavender farm and spends 99% of her time and my dad's money trying to make it look presentable. Other projects include, but are not limited to, regraveling the driveway, replanting grass, planting trees, building a shop, painting the house, building an awning for the back porch, adding a concrete pad for a back porch, getting chickens, building a chicken coop, and everything else you can imagine for 25 acres of land.

32:48 There was a farm. What?

32:51 You probably want to get the chicken coop first.

32:54 My parents' money situation. My parents bought a camping trailer a few years ago and owe big money on that. My mom bought a new car about two years ago and the majority of the rest of the money goes to my brother. He can't save any money and will spend his last cent at coffee shops. Once again, thank you all for everything and being so kind. Your family sounds like they have no clue how to deal or handle money, so.

33:21 That is true.

33:21 Glad you're out of there.

33:22 And that's the end of this story. Let's head to the next one. Hey, it's Dakota, your favorite rat brain host here. And we're going to get back to the stories soon. But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors. I discovered that my girlfriend is a Reddit troll and I can't move past it.

33:38 Oh, come on.

33:40 I mean, is she funny at least? I, 35 male, came home from work today and noticed my partner, 37 female, just sitting at the desk laughing to herself with her headphones on. So I assumed she was watching a movie or something and left it at that. Not long after, I poked my head around as I was going to ask her what she wanted for dinner. And to my surprise, she was on Reddit, which was odd to me because she is anti-social media, blah.

34:02 Blah, blah.

34:02 But I thought it was nice she was trying something as she suffers from agoraphobia and doesn't get out much without me. I briefly got a glimpse at her name and thought it would be interesting to see what she had posted. Yes, I know this was an invasion of privacy. And to my shock, the account was eight years old.

34:19 Oh, dang.

34:21 She's been at this for a while now.

34:23 This means it has predated our relationship by a couple of years. What is even more shocking was the stuff she had said on there. So much hate towards random people for seemingly no reason at all.

34:34 I mean, the reason is that she's stuck inside.

34:36 Yeah, she's in a prison of her mind.

34:40 Yep.

34:41 And so she must bring other people down with her.

34:44 By the way, this comes from ThrowawayTrollSO. If you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash ok story time subreddit.

34:50 Why don't ya? I'm Dakota.

34:51 I'm Sophia.

34:52 I'm Keon.

34:53 And our solemn duty.

34:55 Is to read this story and give as good as goofy advice as possible. But that might not always be right, so let us know what you think in the comments.

35:03 All right.

35:04 This wasn't just the occasional rude comment either. She had an entire account dedicated to hating on people, and she even seemed proud of it based on her comments. One recent example was when she spent an entire day bothering a single person.

35:17 It did not stop there.

35:18 She would make up stories, shame people, bully others, and claim that anyone who told her she needed help was just projecting. I would sometimes come back from work and she would be in a bad mood but wouldn't tell me why. Upon looking at her comment history, a lot of her bad moods seem to line up with days she got downvoted a lot. She even goes as far as to lie about her physical appearance just to bring down others.

35:40 It is sickening.

35:42 What was she saying?

35:43 How do I even approach this? This stuff is just downright hateful and I don't want her to.

35:48 Freak out at me. What do I even do?

35:50 I'm scared she is one argument away from someone coming to find her.

35:53 And there is an update.

35:56 Um, you confront her because this is weird behavior.

35:59 No, you start trolling her.

36:01 You start trolling her back.

36:03 Oh, Lord. That could make it 10 times worse. I think she's just deeply insecure and lonely and stuck in the house. And she wants to make people feel bad, too. And you need to confront her and say, hey, not cool.

36:19 Go to therapy. Update. I want to address some comments from the last post.

36:24 I'm pretty sure she's blocked from this subreddit as all of her comments on this sub were removed according to a remove Reddit site. And I also blocked her account while slightly adjusting the ages after sitting for a good hour last night, looking down her profile in depth and bookmarking her worst stuff. I decided to bring it up with her. I was going to ask a mutual friend to come around, but I didn't want to embarrass her.

36:42 So I instead put my phone on record in my pocket in case she was going to claim I did anything against her. I waited until after lunch and asked her if she could just stay there for a minute, set my phone to record, and then brought up screenshots.

36:55 On a tablet.

36:56 Her face dropped. She walked out of the room after a few seconds of scrolling. I was going to go after her, but I left it. She came down and just said sorry. I asked why she was saying sorry to me, to which she responded, I don't know. I asked why she did it, and I just got another, I don't know. I showed her one of the screenshots where she claims my friends love how much of a See you next Tuesday.

37:20 I am online. And I asked if any of her friends knew. She said, no, just me.

37:26 I brought up the fact that I couldn't wrap my head around why someone would dedicate so much time to this.

37:30 And she said at first it was just a way to blow off steam.

37:32 But then it felt nice because I saw people were agreeing with me and it became a part of my daily routine, I guess. After some more talking, I addressed how much she hurt me with her attacks on people with mental health problems. to which she just said, I doubt they even had any issues. They were just playing victim because they were losing the argument.

37:52 Oh, she's really in it.

37:54 Yeah, that's going to be every nail in the coffin all at once right there.

37:57 It's like she's not sorry. Well, one, she didn't even know why she was apologizing. And then when they, you know, started to get into it, she was not sorry.

38:06 She does, though.

38:07 You know, we've all been there when someone asks you something and you know the answer and instead you say, I don't know, because it's too hard to say the real answer out loud. So, you know, if she's going to respond like that, I have packed my things and I'm going to stay at a friend's house. I'm going to block Reddit on the ISP and ask her to not contact me for a couple of days while I think.

38:27 I've also asked her to find a place to stay as I can't stay at my friend's for long and I want to go on a break. If I'm honest, I don't know if I will ever want to see her again. I was going to ask her to apologize to everyone she caused crap for, but at this point, I know.

38:42 She won't mean it. And that is the end of that story. At the end of the day, it's just words on the internet, you know?

38:51 It's like all kinds of people do this, but it's, I think her attitude about it after you confronted her Especially after saying specifically like the way you dog people for their mental health really upsets me.

39:02 And she's like, ah, they're lying. It's like, you're lying.

39:05 Yeah.

39:06 It just speaks to a level of like unwellness that I'm like, I don't think I can stick around for this if you're unwilling to admit that it's really, really bad.

39:15 Agreed. And I think OP is not sticking around. So there you have it.

39:19 And that's the end of this story. Let's head to the next one.

39:22 My boyfriend is intensely close with his female best friend, and it made me uncomfortable.

39:28 Back up!

39:29 Leave room for the big j man i 26 female have recently started dating rupert 28 man we have known each other for seven years and have some history together but we never attempted a relationship until now that we're both single The current issue is that I met his parents two weeks ago, and next week I'm invited to go to their beach house again with his auntie, his brother, and.

39:51 His brother's girlfriend. That's all fine.

39:54 I'm happy to get to know them, even if I'm a person that doesn't really like being surrounded by so many people in a space I don't really know. I really need personal space and alone time, which will be a bit hard to get with all his family around. And I'm nervous because... He basically kept me a secret until the last moment.

40:10 I hate that.

40:11 What does that mean? You said you've known each other for seven years.

40:13 Yeah, I'm sorry. The second that we're official, if your parents don't know about me. Honestly, even before. We've been dating for a minute, but definitely when we're official. Why don't your parents know about me?

40:26 Understandably, in a way, because I hadn't finished my move from my last flat with my ex-boyfriends. And what I mean by moving some stuff and my kitty. I haven't actually lived there for months. So, I met his family, and I'm still nervous. And now he invited his very best female friend. His parents already know her and love her, and I'm the new one, and I just don't feel comfortable.

40:46 I wanted to just spend time with his parents and him, and not have to deal with a random girl that is so dang important to him.

40:53 Mmm.

40:54 Honestly, I'm not liking... I don't know.

40:57 All of this is a little bit red flags on every sign so far.

41:01 By the way, this comes from Internal26571.

41:03 If you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit.

41:07 I'm Dakota.

41:07 I'm Sophia.

41:08 I'm Riley.

41:09 Our job is to tell you that that's Keon and not Riley. And also our job is to read the story and try to.

41:15 Give as good advice as we can.

41:16 But we're a bunch of goofballs, so keep that in mind. And leave comments of your own advice.

41:20 And OP says.

41:22 I guess it all boils down to me not feeling established in the relationship and not really secure.

41:26 And I feel threatened.

41:28 Mostly because he has her saved as girl's name beautiful.

41:32 Well, um, so I would have immediately called that out.

41:38 Ruh-roh. Let's split up, gang.

41:40 What if you're saved in the phone as OP very beautiful?

41:44 Oh, it's still bad. Honestly, even worse.

41:47 Uh, my boyfriend also had pictures of her all over his flat, plus a bookmark with a picture of them, and he has written her poems. Then he says that I'm the love of his life, but I just can't seem to get over this. I don't want to be like, don't ever see her again, as that's not going to happen anyway, but I'm living very anxious every day now.

42:08 Should I just give up on the relationship and take more time to deal with my jealousy? Do you guys have any advice? There is an update. Girl, talk to your boyfriend.

42:16 Oh my god.

42:17 I just want you to know that your jealousy is not just appearing from within you. You're on hard mode. You're on hard mode in this relationship.

42:27 Okay, there is an update.

42:29 Three months later, I asked him to call her because the situation was just not working out and not just for me. There was literally no space in his parents' beach house to accommodate us all. And he kept insisting it could be done when that would have implied she would have had to sleep in the living room with both his parents and his auntie. I made him call her and she basically figured it out by herself when he mentioned all the family members that were going to be there.

42:54 So she didn't come. But the issue is not over. I saw his texts. I know I shouldn't have snooped.

42:59 And he was still calling her beautiful, telling her that she's his best friend and a source of inspiration for him.

43:04 And that he doesn't want to lose her.

43:06 He's calling her beautiful?

43:08 Well, I guess he's going to lose you.

43:10 Oh, he's in love with his best friend.

43:13 I am, of course, not okay with this level of intimacy with another woman. Her answers were vague. I don't think she's interested, but I'm just not comfortable with my boyfriend being this way. So I have talked to him because this jealousy is eating me up. And I think that whenever I'm not available for a plan, like a concert, he'll just quickly go to her. I also saw a message where he suggested going to visit her. I have, of course, questioned him if he still calls her beautiful, if he planned on visiting, and he denies everything.

43:41 He's just like, babe, I'm quoting Sean Kingston from Beautiful Girls. That's the song.

43:46 Yeah, I'm just saying, you're too beautiful, girl. That's what he's saying.

43:51 Now, I understand it's okay to have friends of the opposite gender, but not like this. And I'd rather save the term best friend for the person you actually end up marrying.

44:00 Well, the issue is, I know he's lying, and now he's saying I'm his best friend.

44:04 And it all sounds so childish, I know, but I'm seriously struggling.

44:08 I was on your side, but I don't like that.

44:11 You should seriously not be struggling at all at this point. It should just be like, I'm leaving. He's denying that he's saying this stuff. That means he knows that he's guilty in some way, which means you should leave.

44:21 Just go.

44:22 Just go. A little more background. He has lied to me before in the past, right to my face. We've been intimate twice. Without me knowing, he had a girlfriend.

44:32 What are we doing?

44:33 That's new information.

44:35 And then you dated him?

44:36 Yeah, you dated him after you found out that he was cheating on his girlfriend with you and also lied to you about that and made you complicit? Without your knowledge? I have, I'm good now. I've got all the information I need.

44:50 Leave him.

44:51 He told me he was living alone but was actually living with a girlfriend and I found out. Now he swears and double swears that I'm the love of his life and have been since he lost me to my ex-boyfriend of five years.

45:05 I just can't shake off a bad feeling in my gut.

45:09 So I guess my real question is, can people really change? Can I really forgive? I ended my five-year relationship and he jumped on asking me out. And I said, let's take it easy. But he wants marriage and kids and tells me I'm the love of his life. But I can't trust him. Is it me and my own insecurities?

45:27 I have asked to see the chats with her next time we see each other. I have asked that he no longer calls her beautiful and posts pictures of her or talks about our personal life. My boyfriend agrees with all of this, but then gets defensive and he gets mean. He said out of the blue that he doesn't think he can love my cat because I adopted him while I was with my ex.

45:49 I just don't think I can love your cat because he's adopted. I know that's not what he said, but that's what.

45:54 It sounded like. It did. It is what it sounded like.

45:57 I can only love a cat that is my own flesh and blood.

46:00 I really hope this story ends with just like a dot, dot, dot. Wait, I just realized everything I wrote means I need to break up.

46:08 Edit.

46:08 Wait a minute. I just read this back and I realized I'm insane and I've broken up with him.

46:14 The cat has always been mine, even if my ex helped take care of him. I adore this cat and he hurt me by saying that. Then he said he was hurt, and that he already almost loves him. He says a lot of beautiful things about how much he loves me, and I can see love in his eyes, but I'm always missing some action, not just words. In all honesty, there are many things about him that already annoy me a lot, like when you get.

46:38 Annoyed years into a relationship.

46:41 My best friend, 33, female, does agree that he acts immature, and she also wouldn't allow some things. Regarding the best friend, she thinks it's okay to have friends of the opposite gender, and she has many guy friends, but she agrees that posting pictures and calling.

46:54 Her beautiful is too much.

46:56 I think I just don't want to get into a bigger mess after barely recovering from a breakup.

47:01 Oh, my God. That's you.

47:02 You also just broke up with your boyfriend of five years.

47:06 And you got into a relationship immediately after. And you're like, oh, wow, this guy that, you know, immediately pounced when I got out of this five year relationship and didn't give me any time to heal. Who was also in a relationship. Yeah. Is this a good idea? No, obviously it's not.

47:25 I have voiced some of these concerns to him, and what he last told me was that I don't have to go through the mourning alone. I don't want to break his heart, but I can't live with this jealousy and mistrust. I do love him, but I don't like how he acts, and there's another update two months later. You don't want to break his heart, the guy who cheated on his girlfriend with you?

47:47 We can break his heart. It's okay. We can break his heart.

47:50 OP, reading this is exhausting, which means... Your relationship with him is probably exhausting.

47:59 Let's see what the update has in store for us two months later. So he still called her beautiful.

48:05 Suggested going to visit and told her she's his best friend and a source of inspiration. I laid down some boundaries and he has agreed not to do or say any of the above. Recently, months after this, I had a weird feeling again, so I asked.

48:20 To see his chats. Gone. Everything deleted.

48:23 Yeah, when OP said, oh, well, I asked him if I could look at his chats. Next time I see him, my first thought, those are not going to exist anymore by the time you get there. He deleted those the second you brought them up.

48:36 So wait, I love how OP posted this. She probably got really roasted or at least like, hey, wake up, break up with him. And she said, no. Two more months of this.

48:46 I know that they have talked and texted, but there was no text records for the past months.

48:51 No call records and no Insta chats. All of it was gone. He said it was to protect me so I wouldn't get jealous.

48:56 It's like, babe, no, no, no, you're welcome. The only thing that I had in there was cheating. I didn't want you to see that.

49:03 I did this for you.

49:05 But if there was just friendship, why would I get jealous, right? I was so hurt. I said I couldn't keep going in the relationship. He asked her to send him screenshots of the past conversations, and it was just him saying happy birthday and her taking a pic of the picture he had mailed. to her as a birthday present. Why did he delete that? I feel like when I start to trust him, he messes it up. We have kept going.

49:28 A friend of mine gave me advice and said he's just a very sensitive boy who needs to express his feelings. But he lied to me. To my face again. We are still together, but I feel like the trust is broken. I have asked to speak to her, and we're pending on that today. She is not the issue. It's the way he behaves with her.

49:48 OP, you're an issue right now.

49:50 You're my issue now. You're my only issue. You're bringing me the story. You're my only issue. Break out with him.

49:55 I have read more of their conversations. He says things like, how can you be so beautiful? And I'm emotionally hungover.

50:02 After your visit because I miss you so much.

50:05 He is always asking for FaceTimes and he's the one to initiate conversation. He also told her we just started dating in July with the whole going to the beach with his family issue when we've been dating since March. Let's finish this. And I know it's in the past and he doesn't treat her like that anymore, but I feel it's because I basically forbid it.

50:28 I don't want to act like this. I feel toxic.

50:31 But I also can't accept this. He says he's showing me with actions, but then why did he lie? And I feel like I hate this poor girl and I don't even know her. Now I'm supposed to talk to her, but the issue is my boyfriend. This is affecting my sleep. It gives me anxiety. And I want to be able to understand if I can accept this or if I'm just not wired to accept a female best friend and should end the relationship. I really feel toxic. And like a red siren is going off in my head all the time.

50:57 Should I listen?

50:58 Oh, you know what? I don't think you can listen. I think you've plugged your ears.

51:04 He's otherwise sweet, caring, and attentive.

51:07 I think I have trust issues and I'm jealous, but I've never been like this. I'm thinking of getting psychological help.

51:14 You know what?

51:15 Best thing you said all day. Finally, someone can tell you, girl, what are you doing?

51:20 You definitely need someone to help you understand... What is going on in your train of thought?

51:27 And that's the end of this story. Let's head to the next one.

51:30 My boyfriend proposed at my aunt's funeral. I was mortified and said, no!

51:35 What's a better time than right now? Life is short.

51:38 My 26 female boyfriend, 30 male, and I have been dating for three years. We don't live together because we both want to get married first, since our parents wouldn't agree to cohabitating before marriage. I've been fairly obvious about wanting to get married and my boyfriend has picked up on it. Last week, we went to my great aunt's funeral.

51:56 Although I didn't know her very well, I was still upset. And it was really hard to see how much it hurt my mother. After the funeral, we went to a hall we rented to cater to the other mourners and to remember her. And my boyfriend saw this as a chance to propose. That is possibly one of the worst times to propose.

52:16 I mean, lowering her into the ground would have been worse as well.

52:20 No, he goes, he goes, if everyone could just pause for a moment as we lower my beautiful girlfriends into the ground, I would like to also lower myself onto my knee and propose. What say you?

52:34 While we celebrate, we also celebrate marriage.

52:38 Everybody there just gets him and pushes him into the hole too.

52:42 This left me mortified, and everyone was staring at us for using this to make it about ourselves. I said, no, and he got angry and walked off, saying that I'm the one who wants to get married, so I shouldn't care where he proposes. Huh.

52:57 There's a time and a place for everything.

52:59 Yeah, well, I.

52:59 Wanted to get married in the past tense. He also said that if I truly loved him, I would say yes. He's ignoring me right now and won't give me a chance to explain. By the way, this comes from BunnyRabbit304. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit. I'm Sophia.

53:16 I'm Dakota.

53:16 I think I'm Keon.

53:17 And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we don't have all the answers. We only know what we do. So let us know what you would do in the comments. And Opie says, In any other scenario, I would say yes. But I didn't think it was the right place or time. The fact that you think that you need to explain why that wasn't the right time is crazy.

53:35 Yeah, this is a shocking level of non-understanding.

53:40 I was wondering if I'm the a-hole because I rejected him even though I want to get married. When I asked my co-worker, she agreed that what I did was wrong. You have weird co-workers.

53:50 Co-worker marry him then. Go for it.

53:52 But I want some more opinions from people who don't know me. So am I the a-hole? And we do have an edit. What do you think, Dakota? Do you think that OP's the a-hole? No.

54:02 The only time I've ever felt someone's an a-hole for rejecting a proposal has been that guy proposed to his girlfriend in a stadium full of people for a basketball game, and she just walked away.

54:12 But you know what? You're right for that.

54:14 You're allowed to not get married to someone if you don't want. But yeah, just because you want to get married doesn't mean you have to accept a proposal at a... And then his explanation is what's getting me.

54:28 You're the one who wanted to get married, so why didn't you say yes? It's like... So do you not want?

54:33 Yeah, that would really piss me off. Just finding out that he didn't even want it.

54:38 It's just like your whole family's here. Even your aunt. They're all watching.

54:42 It was the last chance I had to propose to you in front of your aunt that you don't really know that well.

54:47 Edit. I'm seeing a lot of comments talking about how we let our parents dictate our lives. So I just want to clarify that we both live on our own and have spent long periods of time at each other's apartments. The only reason we don't live together is out of respect for our parents' views. I have a roommate and he doesn't, so I spend most of my time at his place. We just don't officially live together. Thank you for all your responses. We're both speaking to each other about everything and we both agree that we should have communicated more about our future together. The situation is progressing. However, I'm reevaluating our relationship and things that have happened recently and in the past. He's adamant about being in the

55:24 right because he believes he was trying to cheer everyone up by giving us something to celebrate instead of mourn. He's like, this party was such a downer anyway. I didn't realize how emotionally immature he really is. And there's an update.

55:37 I get, I get that.

55:39 I don't get that. That's crazy.

55:40 I mean, it's not right, but it's like, I understand like, okay.

55:44 I'm uncomfortable with passing.

55:47 He's a silly guy. And maybe he got so upset about it because he felt.

55:50 Embarrassed that you rejected him in front of your entire family.

55:53 Could be, could be, could be.

55:55 I'm really latching onto that whole, hey, I want to get married. Not, not we, not we.

56:00 That's truly the most important issue to me. Update. A lot has happened since my first post. Firstly, me and my boyfriend have since broken up. This was for a multitude of reasons. The biggest one being that he cheated on me.

56:14 Oh.

56:15 It makes sense. Well, now we know why he didn't want to marry you.

56:21 Now he proposed at a funeral because your relationship was also gone already.

56:26 You know?

56:26 We had not been living together, but I did spend most of my time staying in his place. However, when I went to visit him, his friend told me that he had been cheating on me and had gotten another girl pregnant.

56:36 He's doing the Lord's work, you know?

56:37 Yeah, I'm so glad he's respecting your parents' wishes. This crushed me because we had been dating for nearly four years. This led to us breaking up. Makes sense. When I questioned him about why he had cheated, he told me he wasn't the type to commit to anyone, despite initially... pursuing me with the promise that we would be in a committed relationship.

56:58 This man said I'm not the type to commit to anyone to his four-year girlfriend. Yeah?

57:05 That he proposed to?

57:07 What?

57:07 This was hard for me to understand, as we had been speaking about marriage and the future. When we used to talk about marriage, he would always say that he would never be happy in a marriage where he got proposed to, as it would be an insult to his masculinity.

57:20 Wow. All right. Well, you'll never be in that.

57:23 So don't worry.

57:24 You had a perfect out right there.

57:26 Looking back on this, I should have realized that he had many noticeable toxic traits. He proposed to me at my aunt's funeral, which is something I will never understand. When I asked him why he did that, he initially claimed it was to make everyone happy. It feels very like childlike.

57:43 Yeah.

57:44 To just assume that you can always make any like emotion go away if you just, you know, are a little goofy.

57:53 Yeah, true.

57:54 Well, and also I now very much doubt that that is what he, that that was true.

57:59 But when I pushed him for more information, he told me it was to show his lover that I was a bad person.

58:04 Whoa. Okay. Well, that. You know what?

58:08 Thinking that a proposal at a funeral will make everyone happy, I thought that was the dumbest thing that you could think.

58:14 But that's even dumber.

58:15 So he knew you were going to say no. And he was like, oh, I can go back to my affair partner and say, look, she rejected me. Isn't that awful?

58:24 Oh, brother.

58:25 This is because he was cheating on me with my aunt's friend's daughter who was at the funeral.

58:34 Before the funeral or after?

58:35 What?

58:36 How did they meet?

58:38 Oh, before the funeral because they were having an affair. So he proposed to me to show that our relationship is over to that girl in order to justify why he was cheating.

58:46 This guy makes zero sense. There's no logic.

58:49 Dude, you can just break up with her.

58:51 He has zero logic.

58:52 You're so stupid. Even though he knew that I was grieving. Opie continues, since we broke up about three weeks after the funeral, his friend who exposed the affair to me told me that because she was pregnant, he had to find a way to make her not leave him and chose the funeral to make a public display for her. What?

59:10 That also makes no sense because she's pregnant he has to find a way for her to not leave him.

59:18 I don't understand why he's acting like this.

59:23 No logic no logic he's biracial dude put me in the ground next to auntie i'm done I can't even.

59:29 I can't move on from this. I haven't seen him since the breakup and his friend moved all of my stuff out of the apartment for me so I don't have to see him.

59:36 Hey.

59:36 Nice friend.

59:37 Do not date his friend. Do not date his friend.

59:41 His family are very strict, and because he's having a kid out of wedlock, they have refused to help him. So he's been contacting me for help. I have not responded, nor do I intend to respond, because I will not lower my self-worth to help someone who never truly cared about me. Since our breakup, my life has improved. as I can now do the things that he never wanted me to do. And I've now realized how lucky I am that we never married. And that's the end of the story. You are really lucky. Lucky, lucky, lucky girl. Yeah, sometimes you find out at the last minute that these people are terrible.

1:00:18 I just don't understand, man. How do you cheat on your partner?

1:00:23 Of four years.

1:00:24 And it's like, you know, when you get to that moment of like, oh, I really, oh, I'm like really wanting to pursue this person.

1:00:32 I want to, I want to, it's like, oh, this is, well, I guess I should break up with my.

1:00:38 Partner because clearly I want to be single.

1:00:42 And that's the end of this story. Let's head to the next one. Hey, it's Angie, your favorite fake redhead host here.

1:00:49 And we're going to get back to the stories.

1:00:51 But here's a three minute ad break from our sponsors.

1:00:55 My parents discovered that I kissed my boyfriend. It made my whole family act crazy.

1:01:00 Well, yeah, you're a sinner. You're a dirty little, dirty little sinner.

1:01:05 My parents discovered that my boyfriend and I kissed. Yes, a kiss.

1:01:10 Oh my gosh, guys, it started out with a kiss. How did it end up like this?

1:01:14 As a result, I've had my phone and all electronics confiscated for two weeks. Well, now I have a strict phone limitation and I'm apparently being issued a landline so I can still communicate with civilization once my screen time expires. Additionally, my parents have declared that my boyfriend and I will never be alone together ever again. and even accused us of kissing in my mom's car, which we did not do. However, the accusations did not stop there. I've also been accused of sneaking around and secretly kissing my boyfriend, or potentially doing more, despite there being absolutely no evidence of this. Apparently, one kiss has opened an entire criminal investigation. By the way, this comes from StrangeStudy2593, and if you want to submit

1:02:00 your own stories, go to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit. I'm Sophia.

1:02:04 I'm Dakota.

1:02:04 I'm Dakota.

1:02:05 And what? We're all Dakota. And here to give good advice goofily, but we don't have all the answers, so give us your answers. I was then instructed to treat my boyfriend like a brother and never do anything so inappropriate ever again. I was informed that I have completely shattered their trust. According to my parents, the whole situation is entirely my fault because I should have simply said no and walked away. No kissing. I would like to point out that this advice was delivered after the kiss had already happened. Evidently, I was supposed to terminate the situation with the reaction speed of a ninja. My dad also hit me with, I thought you had a level head on your shoulders. Then my mom informed me that

1:02:44 I should not be doing things like this until I'm a grown adult, because she would never have allowed my dad to do that to her.

1:02:50 Was this written in 1940? Like, what? Is this?

1:02:55 I would once again like to remind everyone that my parents are married. Unless I have fundamentally misunderstood how marriage works, I am reasonably certain they have kissed at least once since their wedding day. My mom also compared the situation to me hanging out with my friends and completely ignoring them because I was too busy kissing my boyfriend. This comparison confused me because the incident in question happened exactly one time. I have also been informed that this could ruin my reputation.

1:03:23 Are you a witch? Small southern town.

1:03:26 Again, the offense in question is, one, kiss. To make matters even more confusing, my parents never actually had a rule about kissing. I was never told, you cannot kiss while dating, or kissing is against our rules. Had I known it would be viewed as such a serious issue, I would have at least known where the boundary was. Instead, it feels like I somehow broke a rule that I didn't know existed. Advice? And there is an update.

1:03:56 Uh, advice? Tell me how old you are.

1:03:58 That's my advice. Tell me. Tell me.

1:04:00 I don't care how old you are. Where's your spirit of rebellion?

1:04:05 Two things. I found out how old OP is.

1:04:07 OP is?

1:04:08 15. And I found out where OP's from. I don't have exact location, but area. Like, location-wise on the, like, it's in the, it's in the south.

1:04:17 Update. Against all odds, there's been another development in this saga. The day after I got my phone back, my iPad is still in captivity, my family invited my boyfriend to go swimming at our community pool. Now I thought this was odd considering I had just been ungrounded, but I figured maybe things are getting better. I was told I would be swimming with my boyfriend. What I was not told was that my entire family would also be attending along with two of my friends. At the beginning, it was just me, my boyfriend, and my sister in the pool.

1:04:48 Then my mom came over and stood near us for a while. A little later, my cousins arrived. After that, every time my boyfriend and I were talking, it felt like my mom kept drifting closer to our area of the pool or watching us from nearby. Whether she intended it that way or not, I definitely felt like I was under surveillance. Then my two friends arrived. Their first question, why is your whole family here? To which I replied, I honestly have no idea. Because I didn't. Eventually, my mom, my godmother, and my aunt all got into the pool too.

1:05:20 I feel like they're gonna have shame, you guys. I feel like they're gearing up for public humiliation.

1:05:27 Yeah, probably. Pee on them.

1:05:30 Whenever they ended up close to us, we naturally moved somewhere else just to have a normal conversation. At one point, one of my friends mentioned that she's bi. Since my family has very traditional views, I quietly suggested we move farther away because I was worried that if they overheard, My parents might not let me hang out with her anymore.

1:05:48 They won't. Again, where's your spirit of rebellion, O.P.

1:05:52 Don't worry, O.P. Don't worry, don't worry. The clock's ticking. Three more years.

1:05:56 We got a little bit left to this story. Even after we got out of the pool, I still felt like my mom was keeping a close eye on us. On the ride home, my dad, who is admittedly the more relaxed parent, drove my boyfriend home. Today, however, I learned something from my sister. Apparently, the reason my entire family was invited to the pool in the first place was to make sure my boyfriend and I acted appropriately. Yeah, because I'm sure OP and her boyfriend were going to make out in front of OP's parents who got mad at her for kissing him once.

1:06:26 What's weird to me is that they're like, you can't kiss your boyfriend, but you can have your boyfriend?

1:06:33 To make matters even better, right before I left to meet him, my mom told me, now don't be inappropriate with him like last time. For context, last time was my first kiss. Still, just one kiss.

1:06:45 Try not to go off the deep end, OP, because your parents are pushing you as hard as you can. I'm glad that you don't have the spirit of rebellion because you'd be in jail, probably.

1:06:56 Are your parents jealous? They're not jealous of you, but they're like, oh my gosh, she shows more affection than we do.

1:07:03 Probably.

1:07:03 They probably don't do any affection. They've probably been convinced that even when they got married, that they still couldn't show affection or it was sinful. And they're projecting that onto you now.

1:07:16 And that's the end of this story.