My boyfriend UNINVITED me from a hangout… because he hated my outfit! -r/AITAH | Reddit Stories | EP3105

0:00 Hey, this is Angie.

0:01 And this is Keon, your favorite OK Storytime host, and we've got great stories coming right up.

0:05 But before that, we have a quick two-minute break from the sponsors that keep this show alive.

0:11 My boyfriend uninvited me for my hangout because he hated my outfit. What's wrong with my outfit? So I've, 25 female, been with my boyfriend, 25 male... for a little over four years now. For some context, we work at the same company, but recently got made redundant, so I started working at a bar. I worked there previously, so it's been nice to go back, but my boyfriend has been unemployed. Yesterday, we went out with some old colleagues from the company we made redundant from as ketchup. It was around 90 degrees Fahrenheit, so very hot, and I chose a flowing skirt and black tank top with a green sort of splash design on it. My auntie gifted me this top ages ago. My boyfriend chose a thick black woven jumper

0:51 and black jeans to wear. So when he saw my outfit, the first thing he said was, you aren't seriously wearing that. Come on, that is indoor clothing. I said I was happy with my outfit and that I regularly wear these items outdoors. Then he made a disgusted face and said, we are going to a fancy area in my city.

1:10 You can't go like that if you look awful. I decided I was immediately offended by this because I thought my outfit looked nice, and I had spent time picking it out. By the way, this comes from Twangara, and if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash ok story time subreddit. I'm Riley.

1:27 I'm Sophia.

1:28 I'm Keon.

1:28 And we're going to read this goofily. If you have anything you'd like to add, please add it down below. I asked him to stop commenting on my outfit, and we left the house. But But on the way there, he wouldn't stop making rude comments and remarks. The one I found most offensive was he said the green pattern on my top looked like someone had vomited on me.

1:46 This was so demoralizing, and I was in a bad mood by the time we met with our coworkers, and I had to shake it off. On the trade ride home, he was also wasted and made a comment saying I was very beautiful, but I knew it would make some sort of backhanded compliment and thought He would mention my outfit again. However, he started saying how I'm so talented and he doesn't understand why I'm wasting myself and my potential working at a bar. I said that we were just got made redundant and that I enjoyed working there.

2:19 He was trying to say I'm wasting my life and talking about the bar I work at as though it's like so rubbish and I'm letting myself down by not striving for more. So my problem with this is he was saying it quite loudly and many people on the train could hear him. And we're looking, and although at first glance it potentially sounds like maybe a caring, concerned partner, I think actually underlying in it was almost like he was trying to put me down.

2:46 Well, I mean, yeah, he's been putting you down all night.

2:49 And trying to humiliate me publicly for working in hospitality. And a lady from the train eventually spoke up and told him, if I'm happy, that should be all that matters.

2:58 Oh, you know it's bad if someone spoke up.

3:01 A random stranger.

3:02 A random stranger had to speak up. Oh, you know he was being loud and aggressive.

3:08 I was so grateful to hear that I was getting very embarrassed and worried that everyone on the train probably by that point thought I was a loser. These events were uncomfortable for me. Going back to the clothing thing quickly. Now, this is not the first time he's done something like this. Last year, we jointly planned a cute double date with this friend. Just go into the city and get some food.

3:30 and watch football, etc. It was a casual outing, and I chose my outfit, which was a white shirt with the printed hippo artwork on the front, and my dark green pants, which have some flowers on it, and things. He saw my outfit and demanded I change, saying I looked horrible again. And in the end, he said I was uninvited, and he went on his own and made excuses to his friends for my absence. I think this was also rude, as the outfit was not outrageous, and...

4:00 It was also casual hangout.

4:02 It was a casual hangout?

4:03 He said, oh.

4:04 I think Opie's just got like a whimsical sense of fashion and he just can't accept it.

4:10 Unless you're at someone's wedding and you're wearing a paper bag on your head, he should be quiet about your freaking outfits.

4:16 I've worn this outfit out to other places and people often compliment the pieces asking where I got them.

4:22 I want to know where you got them.

4:23 So today I spoke to him about his behavior and said I wasn't comfortable with him being unkind And speaking this way about me. And what I chose to wear. I said it's my body. And he doesn't have any right to treat me that way. Because of what I chose to wear. He said that's ridiculous. And he doesn't see...

4:41 why I should be allowed to wear horrible outfits to his things, he's planned.

4:46 Allowed.

4:47 Keyword allowed.

4:49 He said he should be able to comment as much as he likes because he doesn't feel like his point is getting across as clearly. I refused to change. I told him after being told to stop following his first comment, he should have stopped. He tried to argue more about it, but I was getting very frustrated. So I said I needed to go to bed and that he can just not invite me to any of his hangouts if he thinks my fashion sense is so embarrassing. Now he wants to talk about it again tomorrow, no doubt to try and strong arm me into agreeing to his perspective. Previously, I saw things like this as smaller issues and not a reason to break up. But as I'm getting older, I'm finding it very hard to imagine being with someone

5:34 who essentially is trying to break me down like Every opportunity they get. Like, I didn't think this outfit was the right choice for yesterday. But instead, all I said to him was, that jumper is very thick. Won't you be hot in this weather? And when he responded saying he was fine, I left it at that. Like, maybe he's embarrassed by me. But even then, that's no reason to talk to someone the way he spoke to me.

5:56 And he should have stopped when I asked him to stop the first time. So, this is where I'm wondering, would I be the a-hole? Because since... being redundant he hasn't been able to pay rent we were made redundant at the beginning of may he's staying in my family's home so it's me and my mom here my mom said the only reason she's letting him stay is because of our relationship which makes sense how long ago was may your mom looked.

6:20 At you and said by the way the only reason that he's staying in my house is because he's dating you dating him he's gone.

6:31 He said he'd probably be able to pay half of the rent by now but he still hasn't found a job so has no money at all he also has been quite sad about being made redundant so i'm not sure he's been putting much effort into looking for a new position until very recently this week his parents won't send him any money either and if he left here i assume he'd have to go back to live with his mom who lives around a two-hour drive away. I know a lot of these guys. Schmads, how do you know these people? I have no unemployed friends. I don't know anyone that's unemployed. I don't think you can be unemployed anymore.

7:05 Well, you can, I mean, like, especially our age, I feel like some people in the transition have been unemployed.

7:11 I was thinking I could just tell him we can't afford to keep him without paying rent anymore. And that he has to move out at the end of the month and we wouldn't be together anymore. Is that wrong to do? I just feel like it's the easiest way to be free of his bad energy and kind of guarantees he will be away from me. Please, hopefully this guy's out of there. I don't think it should be like, oh, you can't pay so we can't be together. We can't be together because you're disrespectful.

7:34 Yeah, that's it. That's it.

7:35 And that's the end of this story. We're going to read the next one.

7:38 I agreed to keep my ex's cat for a few days, and she kept moving the date. Maybe it's your cat now. I, 27 male, broke up with my ex, 36 female, around one month ago. We were together for about a year and a half, and we lived together in my apartment. She's had her own during the entirety of the relationship, and last weekend as of writing this, I had her move her things back to her place. and my apartment is no longer a residence for her, not even temporary.

8:06 I was initially adamant that all of her things would be moved out, including her cat. She has one, I have two, and they all get along, but they're not best friends. After the final boxes and bags were moved into her apartment, she wanted me to keep the cat for the time being, as she wanted to have some time to unpack her belongings and not have the cat live among a bunch of moving boxes. I reluctantly agreed and asked about a time frame for when the cat can move back to hers, and we agreed next Friday evening, which is today, in a couple of hours. The cat, 16 years old, ex has had him since kitten age, has a certain personality where he's very vocal. Vocal Fry screams as soon as he's wanting to cuddle and you

8:46 move a muscle ever so slightly. He wants to be close and in your face all the time. which is something I have an issue with. I don't mind having a cuddle with the cats, but with all of his traits considered, this is having a negative effect on me. By the way, this comes from Grazdor. If you want to submit your own stories, go to our subreddit.

9:02 I'm Dakota.

9:03 I'm Riley.

9:04 We're going to read this story about this man that hates cuddly cats. You're going to have your thoughts about it and we're going.

9:09 To have ours.

9:09 Let us know what you think down in the comments. It's hard to fall asleep and stay asleep as he needs to be up in my face constantly. And as I move him away or reposition myself to be more comfortable, he screams at the top of his lungs. I work from home most days and he insists on being up in my face. After moving him to the floor or another room, he comes running back to be in my face again. Closing the door behind me is a no-go as he has a tendency to urinate wherever when he's displeased, and I can't keep track of that when I'm working.

9:40 My two cats like being in my face too from time to time, but if I move them away, they understand I want to be left alone or have my own space where they place themselves semi-adjacent but not intrusively.

9:51 She messaged me today saying she can't take the cat back today.

9:53 I tried standing my ground explaining that today is what we agreed upon.

9:57 He's stressed out since you're not here. I can't have him for much longer.

10:01 She responds saying that moving the cat today would be considered animal neglect. as she hasn't gotten far in unpacking and there's not a lot of space to move and the cat is stressed out.

10:10 That's not even real.

10:11 Yes, it is, Dakota.

10:13 I mean, it's real. Have you not heard of this?

10:16 There's a bunch of boxes around the cats let loose.

10:20 Guess what happened? Cats love squares.

10:22 No, they don't.

10:22 They like bags.

10:23 If it was bags, different story. It just seems like what? Oh, my cat has a playground. My cat has a playground to jump around on and it'll be so upset.

10:33 This is a non-issue.

10:35 What are you going to do?

10:35 Lose the cat in the boxes? You just unpack. I can't handle taking care of him by myself. I've looked forward to moving him out today as it will give me some additional peace of mind after the breakup and now my ex is wanting to move things to a later date. Am I the a-hole for enforcing the previously agreed upon agreement of moving the cat today?

10:53 And wanting my ex to take her cat back. And there is an update.

10:56 I mean, like, you're not in the wrong for being like, today is the day, but you can't just.

11:00 Like throw the cat out on the street. That would be messed up.

11:03 Yeah.

11:03 We've heard none of your plans. Are you just going to deliver it?

11:06 I really want to call in a cat expert, like a cat owner and ask them, hey, say you and I were dating.

11:10 I would take my cat. Why am I going to leave my cat with you? I'm taking my cat. It's weird. It's already weird.

11:16 Today, Sunday, was the new, new day that I was going to move her cat back. About an hour before I got off work, I messaged her reminding her that I'll be at her place in about an hour and a half. And she messaged back, okay, followed by two pictures of her apartment. and how unpacked she was. I didn't reply. Prior to leaving home, I took screenshots of the relevant conversation in regards to us agreeing Sunday would be the moving day up until the pictures she sent.

11:39 And you put them in a PowerPoint. Understand that it's her day to take her cat.

11:42 A PowerPoint makes things crystal clear.

11:44 It really does.

11:45 Upon reaching her apartment, I did what one user suggested to do. I started a voice recording on my phone in case there would be any angry words or if she started arguing that she couldn't take her cat back.

11:56 Spoke some general information for the recording.

11:58 Time, date, blah, blah, blah, and then put the phone in my pocket and carried on inside her apartment. Luckily, she took her cat back with warm, open arms, set up a water station for him without any hassle, and that was that.

12:08 Yeah, because you're just bringing her cat back.

12:11 Time out. Time out.

12:13 Both of you are extra in different ways.

12:14 Time out. We just spent our precious time... listening you complain about a cat when all you had to do was be a decent human for two more days.

12:23 And that was that? Yeah, it just took two extra days, bro.

12:26 Come on. No arguing, no back and forth.

12:28 It feels like you could have just brought the cat back on Friday and she would have taken it back still.

12:31 Dude.

12:32 I don't know.

12:32 I understand why she broke up with you.

12:34 There was no arguing and no anger.

12:36 No way!

12:36 No way you just compared yourself to Frodo!

12:37 No!

12:38 You didn't earn that!

12:38 Ha ha!

13:00 You did not earn Frodo Baggins level tribulations that you went through.

13:04 That was wild. That's a wild comparison.

13:07 Did you have to walk 1800 miles to return this cat?

13:10 Carrying the most evil object known in existence. No. The cat wasn't that bad. It was just annoying. That's it. Anyway, that's the end of that story.

13:21 My boyfriend put a tracker in my car and called it love.

13:24 Who else is going to watch after you?

13:25 I'm 24 female and my boyfriend is 34 male. We've been together almost four years and met in church. I'll call him Gary. I want to be fair. I know I have emotional regulation issues. I have anxiety, ADHD, and abandonment fears. When I feel someone pulling away, I panic. I have begged, called too much, over-explained, sought reassurance repeatedly, struggled to give space, and let my emotions get bigger than I wanted them to. I'm in therapy and trying to work on this. I'm not pretending I'm perfect, but I feel like the whole story has become about my reactions while his behavior gets minimized or excused. There have been control issues. He has described himself as the leader of the relationship and has said or implied that if

14:06 I go out without letting him know, he will react a certain way. He has had issues with me going out alone and with other men seeing or wanting me. At one point, after I came back from three months of leave in Florida, he put a tracker in my car. Before that leave, we had a major fight where I asked him to take his clothes and leave my apartment because he wasn't helping me pay rent and things were bad.

14:27 He treated it like I punted him out, punished me by not speaking to me for about eight days, and took his money out of our joint bank account. I was crying so much and under so much stress. My parents were almost begging me to leave him. They told me he wasn't good for me and that he says mean things to me. By the way, this comes from Caterpillar New, 6458. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash OK Storytime subreddit.

14:49 I'm Sophia.

14:49 I'm Riley.

14:50 I'm Keon.

14:51 And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we don't have all the answers, so put your answers below.

14:56 Yeah, I was in a relationship like this once. Not the controlling part, but where my parents were like, you can't, shouldn't be with this person, they're mean to you. I didn't listen.

15:02 Well, yeah, you don't want to. You're like, I know best, I know best. While I was in Florida, I got better. I started going to the gym and felt more stable. When I came back, he was all over me again. And then the tracker situation happened. We went to therapy after that because he was scared. But in therapy... He minimized his role and would say things like, I never did that. We didn't finish the therapy series because in his mind, he didn't really need it. I worked in healthcare.

15:26 I'm applying to PA school and I'm under a lot of stress trying to keep my life together. He recently got accepted into a graduate program and didn't even tell me at first because he accused me of not believing in him and stressing him out. At that time, I was still dealing with the emotional fallout from the tracker situation.

15:42 Last week, He had been cold with me all day, and I had become so distressed that I ended up in the ER, maybe? I was dehydrated, needed IV fluids, and couldn't work. I called him 21 times, telling him I was sick and in the ER. I know calling 21 times is not healthy, and I take accountability for that.

16:01 OP.

16:01 OP what? OP, you know what?

16:03 First time what? We can call 21 times if we're in the ER.

16:06 Yeah, that's... That's valid.

16:07 Yeah, OP would be like the type of person who's bleeding out. And she's like, I called him 21 times because I was bleeding out. But I know that's not healthy.

16:15 This is my fault. This is my fault.

16:16 Bro! But he turned his phone off and went to sleep. I was hurt because I felt like my panic was being judged without anyone looking at what triggered it. Recently, after another serious argument, I was crying and... begging. He knew I was devastated, lonely, exhausted from long healthcare shifts, and not okay. He tried to call my mom, but she didn't answer. Later, he said the only reason he wasn't calling my mom was because he didn't want my job or life to be in jeopardy. Then he said something like, stay in your corner and do the work and I'll stay in mine. After that, he didn't speak to me for about three days. The most recent arguments started because I told him I wasn't feeling well. He said,

16:54 what can I do? If you're not feeling well, go to the hospital. Maybe that sounds practical.

16:58 We don't go to the hospital every time we feel bad.

17:02 We just want our partners to make us soup. I didn't feel comforted. I felt like my pain was an inconvenience. I feel like I poured my life, time, emotions, and money into this person. I loved him before the car, before the business, before the graduate program, before everything. I loved him for him... I lent him about $ 4, 000 for his car and about $ 3, 000 for his business.

17:23 This man is 34 and he can't get his own money? That's wild.

17:26 I bought him gifts, supported his business opening, showed up for his family, was there when his cousin gave birth, helped with his cousin's child, drove his younger female cousins to her graduation so she could make it in time to walk, cooked, adjusted and tried to be useful and supportive in his world. But during conflict, he has minimized my sacrifices. He called me cheap and called my sacrifices cheap.

17:48 He asked where I was when he needed chairs put up for his business. He said or implied I didn't support his business, even though I loaned him money. He also said I never wanted him to open his business because I was jealous that other women would want him. Oh yeah, what other women? What other women?

18:03 This has to be rage bait.

18:04 Then he turned around and said he sacrificed more for me. He has called me crazy and selfish. He said he could have a normal relationship with other women because there's something wrong with me. When I got another cat, he got upset and said, you can treat animals well, but not me. It feels like everything becomes evidence that I'm failing him. There's also a family dynamic. I'm not saying every member of his family is bad, because there are people I genuinely care about, but overall, I feel like his family system protects him and frames him as the victim, while my reactions become the focus. His own sister has struggled emotionally in that family system, and from what I understand, He treated her harshly and framed her as unstable instead

18:42 of supporting her. His sister-in-law told me she wouldn't recommend him to her friends because he's too hard. And that other woman would probably not be able to tolerate him the way I did. OP's not tolerating him.

18:52 OP, everyone's telling you to run. Run, girl.

18:55 Like his own family is saying run.

18:57 He's telling you to run.

18:59 Yeah, he literally is. Yesterday, I drove his younger female cousin to her graduation. Because I picked her up, she made it in time to walk. I saw him there. He said hi, then completely ignored me. What? During the same period, while he knew I was emotionally devastated, and while I was literally helping his family, he posted a story saying accountability, a simple word that many struggle with, and for which they pay a heavy price for having ignored this definition. That felt directed at me because the conflict had been framed as me needing accountability, even though I had been begging, crying, working long shifts and still showing up for his family.

19:33 Dude, he's just trying to punish you. He's trying to admit as much pain as he can.

19:37 Later that night, he texted me. It was good to see you. Hope you can continue to take care of yourself.

19:41 Good night.

19:42 It felt soft but distant with no apology or repair. I also regret that in my pain, I spoke to one of his older male cousins who is a church elder and told him I was hurt that Gary hadn't spoken to me for three days. Later, I texted that cousin asking him to please give it a few days before approaching Gary because I felt I had approached him at the wrong time. I know involving family was messy.

20:04 But I was overwhelmed and looking for someone mature to understand that I was hurting too. I know I need to take accountability. I know begging, calling repeatedly, and panicking are unhealthy. But I also feel like his silence, control, dismissiveness, and harshness fuel my anxiety. And then my reaction becomes the only thing anyone focuses on. I'm not asking people to decide who is right or wrong. I know I have emotional regulation issues and I am actively working on them in therapy. What I need help with is understanding how to protect myself emotionally. Now, for people who have been in relationships with silence, control, blame shifting, or emotional punishment, how did you start rebuilding your self-worth? How did you

20:41 stop chasing reassurance from someone who kept hurting you? What boundaries helped you finally stand up for yourself? I still love him, but I'm exhausted and I don't want to keep losing myself trying to prove I'm worthy of tenderness. How do I take accountability for my emotional reactions without accepting blame for everything he did too by breaking up with him?

20:59 Here's what's going to happen. Yeah. Hope he's going to read Reddit comments. Going to get herself straight. Oh, yeah.

21:05 Oh, don't worry. I'm on it.

21:05 We got an update coming up. People are going to set her straight.

21:08 I'm just going to be like, I didn't realize that all of these things were huge red flags. And thank you guys for helping me understand that it wasn't me.

21:15 Dude, I can't help it.

21:16 But I was making conversations like this with myself, with my ex. She didn't like certain aspects of me. And I was doing my best to try and show to her. I was enough. I kept trying to prove to her that I was enough.

21:26 Shouldn't have to prove it.

21:27 And whenever that ended, dude, the amount of weight off my shoulders, it was like 500 pounds were off my shoulders. I felt light.

21:34 Unburdens you. Since then, we've mostly been untangling our lives. We closed our joint bank account. He immediately sent me the money he owed me, and I told him I'd be removing myself from his insurance. I genuinely want all communication to stay about logistics. After I unblocked him for that, he texted me saying that now that I wasn't blocked, he wanted me to know there was no hatred in his heart, that he was working on himself, that his family regrets everything that happened, that he hadn't really told anyone about the breakup, and that if I ever needed anything, not to hesitate to reach out. Then he called me. Twice.

22:03 I didn't answer. This is where I'm confused. This is the same man who told me he wanted the breakup, repeatedly said he wanted peace, ignored me for days afterward, and made me feel like I was simply too much. Now that I finally stopped chasing him and started accepting that it's over, he's calling? I don't know what changed.

22:19 My parents know he called, and they both made it very clear that if I ever got back together with him, they couldn't support that decision because they watched this relationship change me in ways that scared them. Even now, they don't fully believe me when I tell them I'm not going back because they know how much I loved him.

22:35 One thing that's also been weighing on me is conversations I've had with one of his cousins. She continued checking on me and has been incredibly kind. She told me she believes he resented me because I made more money than he did. That surprised me because he was a lawyer in his home country. He's incredibly intelligent and he was recently accepted into a master's program here. She also told me he had spoken to a family about how I didn't hold him down. That one really hurt because I loved him before the car, before the job, before any of those things. I loved him when he was still new to the US and trying to build a life.

23:05 I never cared what he had. Hearing that almost made me feel like the entire relationship had been rewritten. She also told me something else that made me think. My ex has an older cousin he looks up to almost like a father figure. According to her, this cousin was the one who told my ex that putting a tracker in my car was normal and an expression of love rather than control. My mom always worried that if I married my ex, I'd end up repeating the same unhealthy relationship patterns she believed existed in that part of the family.

23:34 Thank the Lord you're away from this man. You're making moves away from him.

23:38 You're seemingly broken up. Stay broken up. Hold strong.

23:42 And you will find yourself sooner rather than later.

23:45 The strange part is that I don't really feel the overwhelming panic anymore. Now I mostly feel.

23:50 No.

23:50 I'm spending time with my family. My siblings are coming from Florida soon. I still want to get married one day. I still want children. Part of me is scared about starting over at 24, but another part of me knows I can't build a marriage on hopes that someone will eventually become different. I don't hate him. I genuinely hope he gets help if he needs it. I just still can't understand one thing. If someone says they want peace, asks for the breakup, ignores you for days and then starts calling you once you've accepted it's over, what do you think is usually going through their mind? They want you to chase them and then they realize that you're not going to do that and then they freak out.

24:24 I'm genuinely asking because I don't plan on answering, but I'm still trying to make sense of it. And that's the end of the story.

24:29 Who is telling you to stay with this person?

24:31 I don't know.

24:32 If I was a therapist, I know I'm not supposed to guide people around.

24:35 But I'd be like, girl.

24:37 This was you before. This is you now. If you keep going in this path, this is what you're going to end up as.

24:41 Stop. And also stop talking to his cousin, cousins, family.

24:44 Yeah, we don't need to talk to any of his family.

24:46 Just cut it off. Easy.

24:47 We're done. You've got your family and they seem like they're looking out for you.

24:51 And that's the end of this story. We're going to read the next one.

24:53 My sister wanted to shut down our whole business for her wedding day.

24:57 That's bad business.

24:59 So me and my husband own a livery yard and he's a riding instructor. We have students come to ride at our property and people who pay to stable their horses here and use the facilities.

25:08 Gotcha.

25:09 Last year, my sister asked if she could use part of the orchard for a small wedding.

25:13 Oh.

25:14 I said I could square off an area for a while if needed. She wanted two days, one for the wedding and another one for her baby shower. I agreed under the assumption her demands would be reasonable.

25:26 Was the baby shower and the wedding going to be back to back?

25:28 I guess so. Or maybe, maybe not. Maybe she just wanted two separate days. Yeah. Now she is set to get married in May and just messaged me with what she wants for her wedding. No strangers, clients there. No general hustle and bustle around the yard, workers. Empty stables for some of her games, baby shower. No horse odor around the venue itself. No horses around her or in background of pictures. Access to indoor riding area for main baby shower event. No kids on the yard if she wants a child-free wedding. And by the way, this comes from MysteriousGear6351, and if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash okay story time subreddit. I'm Sophia.

26:06 I'm Keon.

26:07 And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we do not have all the answers, so if you've got answers, give them here. And OP says, I told her I cannot refuse livery clients as they pay good money for unrestricted access, but I can ask them to keep clear of the event and box off our area. This goes for the kids too. We have kids stabling their horses here.

26:28 I have no right to cut off their access for a day or two. I cannot send away all of our grooms for two days. The horses still need to be cared for, and these people rely on their jobs. It's not fair to them. I can't eliminate the smell of horses. There are still horses living here. It's a stable. It will smell like a stable.

26:47 I go, hey, sissy, where do you want those horses to go?

26:51 Yeah, where am I supposed to send them?

26:54 Put them in the wild.

26:54 I don't care. Just any one out here.

26:56 I think you just want a different venue. I cannot remove all horses from the background of an open field. Yeah. Again, they need turnout and the clients pay for their horses to have access to the fields. Overall, I told her I will keep people away from the main event and try to keep it as empty as possible, both with people and horses, but it's still an active business and cannot stop working for a few days. I don't want to let down a lot of our long-term clients. Some have been with us for 10 plus years. and we rely on constant customers to stay afloat.

27:28 Okay, great. You tell your sister? Sister, right? Yep, you tell your sister. I can't meet those requirements. I'm sorry, you're gonna have to find another venue.

27:37 Sorry, can't do that. We went back and forth between what was reasonable and what she wanted for a while. She then swore at me full volume in public, insulted both me and my husband, and called her place a crap hole, and then you don't get to be there at.

27:50 All now wow look at that that was easy for the both of us I go oh.

27:54 Okay so I see you found a new venue cause.

27:57 You aren't going online oh you haven't good luck.

28:00 She then went to her mom and complained I'm being selfish and going back on my promise both her and my mom are pressuring me or trying to into letting her have her way they say I'm putting money over her special day and not thinking of her they're not tight on money there are venues that they can rent and have every one of their demands met Am I putting money over her? Is this a crappy thing to do?

28:24 I'm not trying to prioritize business over her, but I feel her demands are becoming a bit entitled. Feeling torn as half my family say it's her special day and I should try to accommodate. And the other half say it's my property and I have the right to choose. I know I'm going back on my word, but she changed some pretty big details.

28:43 Thoughts?

28:45 And we do have some comments, but what are your thoughts?

28:48 Hey, Sophia. I want my wedding at Disneyland, but nobody can be there. No kids, no nothing. I get to have Disneyland to myself.

28:54 Ooh, are you paying the price of, I don't know, probably a couple hundreds of thousands, maybe a million dollars?

29:05 No.

29:06 Okay.

29:06 But I want it because I said so and it's my special day.

29:08 Uh, can't do that. Sorry.

29:11 Well, I'm going to scream at the top of my volume and tell my mother.

29:16 I still can't do that. So it doesn't work like that.

29:19 Yes.

29:20 That sounds more extreme, but that's what your sister sounds like.

29:22 It is. I mean, I would just tell her if she works, I would say, oh, OK, so can I have my wedding at your place of work? And then you have to stop business for two days. Yeah.

29:33 I'm going to make really insane demands.

29:35 Yeah.

29:36 Comment.

29:36 How are you supposed to not turn out horses for a whole day? Never mind two. Horses need care, turnout, and stall mucked. OP says, it's insane. I think it's because we're not a horsey family, and she knows next to nothing about horses. And her asking for no staff and clients to be present? Unless she's willing to do all the work herself for those two days, that's out of the question. Show season is well. Common says, it's not even about the money so much as it hurting your business. OP says, this was my main fear. The horse community is very connected. Once you have a bad reputation in your area, it's extremely hard to bounce back.

30:12 And comment, I know the horse business and there's no way what she's asking for would work in a working horse barn slash farm. Are you supposed to air out the fields or something? OP says, I don't think they're trying to be malicious. They are genuinely so far up their own butt, they can't comprehend other people's POV if it goes against their little plan. They genuinely don't understand that their little plan is impossible. I suppose she wants me to air out the horses and stop them crapping for the day? Additional details from OP, relationship with mom.

30:45 OP says, thank you. I tolerate my mom at family events once a year. But I'm not close with most of them except my siblings. So I'm not overly stressed about it. Just glad I'm secure enough to be all right without them. About sister, Opie says true. She's just always had things go her way with no pushback. She was never taught to regulate emotions and deal with rejection.

31:07 Or any difficult emotions, for that matter.

31:09 Sophia, do you hear that? That's K-pop demon hunters. It's golden! Because she's a golden child.

31:13 She's a golden child! And to be perfectly honest, she didn't go 0 to 100. We had a long back and forth beforehand. OP says she's always been a little out of touch. Mom as well. They have a habit of bouncing off each other and making life very difficult. I just never thought about it until now. It appears I dodged a bullet. And why this venue? OP says running theory is she wants a wedding similar to mine, as we had ours on the property shortly after purchasing.

31:40 She's not a horsey person at all, so I'm just confused. My mother is just as bonkers. They bounce off each other and end up in these situations surprisingly often. And OP responds to another commenter. We have parking, but enough bathroom facilities for around 50, not 200. which I think is part of the reason she originally said it was a small wedding. OP says both her house and barn toilets are on septic, so she would have had to rent some form of portable toilets, given the facilities are also a good 10-minute walk uphill from where she wants the main venue. And update. My sister and mother have decided to cut me off until I apologize and let her host that.

32:20 Bye.

32:21 Yeah. Okay.

32:23 All right. I can't do that. I can't just make your dreams come true because you asked for them to.

32:29 I can't even cry a tear. I just don't care.

32:32 I've got no tears left to cry. I'm not close enough with either to sacrifice our business. Her fiance reached out to apologize on her behalf. Insane that he would want to marry her.

32:44 Yeah.

32:45 Yeah. And tell me he wasn't aware she left it so short noticed and acted like this. He's a great guy. Still not talking to them though. I can't lock this, but for now all is resolved. I'm not hosting her and I'm not talking to her or my mother right now. They've been told if they show up, we will not hesitate to get them escorted off for trespassing.

33:07 I like how their threat was. We're going to cut you off.

33:09 And I, yeah.

33:10 If he's like, okay. All right.

33:14 That, Cool.

33:15 Oh, no.

33:17 No harm, no foul, I guess.

33:19 Comments. Wouldn't the invitations have been sent out by now, stating the location? OP says, possibly. She hadn't actually started planning or filling me in on anything, so I'm not exactly sure. I hope not. We'll likely lock the main gate day of and hope that works. Comment says, so where's she having her wedding now? Because that self-entitled princess wouldn't be stepping a foot on my property after swearing at me like that. Who does she think she is?

33:45 She wants the moon. Yeah.

33:47 Give her the moon. OP says she doesn't have the time to book a nice venue or any venue for that matter. Who knows where she'll go. I hope it's a raging disappointment though. Common says, what would you do if your sister comes to you and wants it at your place? Anyhow, say last minute. Cause she just couldn't manage to get her own venue. OP says, If push comes to shove, my husband said he will call the police and escort them off for trespassing. I've told her this, but I really hope she counts her losses and reschedules if that's the case. And that's the end of the story.

34:19 All's well ends well for us.

34:21 I guess so.

34:21 Yeah, for OP.

34:22 Yeah. Your mom, crazy. Your sister, crazy.

34:26 They're all crazy.

34:28 No, I want it there, but you have to meet my demands.

34:31 I want it anyway. I know you can't do anything that I asked you to, but I still want it there and I want you to do those things... For me. But that's the end of that story, and we got another one coming right up.

34:40 Yes, we do. Hey, it's Keon, the Silly's Goose. We're going to get back to the stories, but here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors. My brother mocked my achievements to my face, so I vented online.

34:52 He mocked my achievements!

34:54 So, I rarely communicate with my brother, like, at all. But today, I had to stop by my parents' house. He's there, and he opens the door, like, Oh, we were expecting you? I walked in and said I'd spoken to our mom, just dropping something off, blah, blah, blah. I'm also getting pretty pregnant, and they have a huge driveway, so I'm huffing. He gets me a water as I sit down, which is nice. He then sits down, interview style, and asks how I'm going. How's everything? Again, that's nice.

35:26 Nice of him. Pleasantries are all I normally stick to, but today I made the mistake of saying my course just started, so there's been a lot going on. I've been working four days a week, I have an 11-month-old, and I just started my master's.

35:39 And you're pregnant.

35:39 And you're pregnant.

35:40 So you got a lot.

35:42 My mistake.

35:43 He then gets this huge smirk and says, I heard about this. So you're finally doing it. The last in our family to get their master's.

35:53 Does everyone in your family have a master's degree?

35:56 Okay. Yeah.

35:57 All right. That's so weird to be like, oh, you're falling behind. Don't have a master's degree yet. A lot of people don't get a master's degree.

36:04 He goes.

36:07 You finally made it in the family. Good job. It took you long enough.

36:12 It was so weird. Yeah.

36:15 I sit there and I have to hold back. I end up just shrugging. But he continues. I was in the study today and I'm looking around at everyone's degrees on the wall. Then I realize, hmm, I'm looking around and there's hardly anything of yours.

36:31 Shut up.

36:32 By the way, this comes from user Tidalow. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash OK story time subreddit. I'm Kion.

36:39 I'm Sophia.

36:40 And we're going to be yelling at Opie's brother right now because, wow, that's a lot. Let us know what you're gonna be doing in the comments down below. As Opie says, I end up leaving as he continues rambling with a giant smirk about how effing great he is. I hold back because it upsets my mom. But like, bro.

37:00 You're 30.

37:01 You live at home and you don't have a job.

37:05 Oh, I wish you had said that. I wish you went, oh, yeah, you do have a master's. Great job. What are you doing now?

37:13 You know what I do?

37:14 I go into that room, go in that study room. I get that master's, which is just a piece of paper. Maybe it's in a little plaque. I take it out. I wipe my ass with it.

37:24 Dang. He said that.

37:26 I said that. It frustrates me so effing much. Like, I'm here being an adult, and you have no idea what responsibility looks like. But then, I think how lonely he must be, and I feel effing bad about it.

37:38 I think you just say that. Anytime he does that to you, you go, I feel so bad that you're never going to have an adult life like I do. Yeah, wow.

37:45 Must be really lonely with your master's degree all by yourself.

37:48 Aww. I hope your master's degree can keep you warm.

37:52 Ugh, sorry. I just needed to vent. Any advice would be so appreciated. And we have an update, Sophia. I mean, we've said some pretty intense things. But let's be realistic here. If Sam did this to you, or, you know, anybody did this to you, how would you respond?

38:09 I mean, if it was Sam, I would call him out for it and be like, dude, what? Yeah.

38:15 Okay.

38:16 Okay.

38:17 Weird.

38:18 But if it was someone I didn't really care about, I'd be like, okay, I'm just not going to talk to this person. I know.

38:22 If it's someone like me, because I'm just like, if you're a trash talk, if you can trash talk me, I can trash talk you back.

38:27 Watch out, Buster.

38:28 You've opened that can of worms. I will trash talk you. And I'll be like, cool, dude. Don't care. What have you got going on in your life?

38:36 I'm married and I have two kids and I have a job and I'm getting my master's degree. Yeah, my life is going a little bit better than yours.

38:44 My future is pretty bright. How's your future looking? We have an update.

38:47 Ah.

38:49 I think we got a reason maybe why he's acting like this.

38:51 Maybe not.

38:52 Update is titled, My Autistic Brother Saw the Post Four Days Later.

38:56 Oh, okay.

38:58 Hey, all. Posted earlier in the week about my brother, a 30-male diagnosed autism, talking down to me and how I've always been told by our mom not to upset him slash speak back to him. You know?

39:10 It does explain a bit of why your mom doesn't want you to.

39:15 Yeah, but he's 30 years.

39:16 Sure. But we don't know, you know, how what level.

39:22 Yeah.

39:23 Like where where he is on the spectrum.

39:25 I think he should know because if he can treat his family like this, that means he can treat strangers like this. So.

39:32 It doesn't mean that it's right, but it does make sense why your mom is reacting this way.

39:36 So anyway, he called me on Wednesday and said he read the post and the comments. I was expecting him to blow up, but he apologized.

39:45 Nice!

39:47 Said he appreciated the reality check and thought... He was just having banter. I said it wasn't funny. That he was being mean. And he agreed. I was genuinely so shocked, and we had a nice conversation. The first one in years. He asked me to delete the post now that he had apologized, and I did.

40:05 Okay. How are we reading it?

40:08 Yeah.

40:08 So, nice chat. All was good. Now today, I get to my mom's house to drop off my son for a few hours so I can go to a hair appointment. We walk in, and she's excited to see him, but acting really weird. She then hands me a pile of paper with my post and comments printed on it. I can't even process any of this at this point. Full-on printed paper like it's police evidence. Turns out my brother saved everything, got me to delete the post, and showed it all.

40:36 To our mom.

40:37 Dude. Dude. Come on.

40:40 Really?

40:40 You want to play that? You want to play that fight? You want to do that war?

40:43 All right.

40:44 Come on.

40:45 She made me feel so bad and she started defending him. But when she said, remember, he processes things differently. You need to be sensitive and more mature. I effing lost it.

40:55 And that's what I say. Hey, mom, you actually don't need to get involved because he already apologized for this.

40:59 Hey, mom, he's also an adult and he needs to be treated like an adult.

41:03 Yeah. I think you literally say like he came to me and told me that he understands and he's sorry. So clearly he does process it the same in this situation.

41:13 I don't know if it was the pregnancy hormones or decades of resentment, but I said, absolutely no way am I doing this. This is so childish. Read the post again. And if you can't see there's something wrong here, then I'm done.

41:26 Great answer. I mean, this was super fair. Your mom read the post and still didn't understand why you would be upset.

41:35 Yeah. I mean, I didn't grow up with anyone with that behavior of being autistic. So I don't know. how like because i don't know how severe it is like you said we don't know how severe it is for him but let us know in the comments because i feel like if people in the chat who have dealt with autistic siblings or children or anyone in their family are close to them They would be like, no, it shouldn't get to this point. That doesn't excuse their behavior of being malicious.

42:04 I think it's a super common thing for parents of autistic children to coddle and feel like they can't punish their child because they process things differently.

42:14 Or they allow things. Yeah, they allow more.

42:16 Things to go, you know, unpunished. But it doesn't mean that you can't punish them or call them out for their actions. It just means that you have to do it differently so that they understand.

42:26 Truly. Upi continues saying... I left and took my son with me. He ended up having fun with all the other lovely women at the salon. My hair looks amazing and I feel so proud of myself. The zen I feel having blocked my family is just incredible. I'll reach back out to my mom at some point, but right now, just enjoying some quiet time. Oh, and a massive F you to my brother.

42:47 Yep.

42:49 Relevant and top comments. Gometer 1 says, I hope he reads this comment and finds that he is a huge ale. Holy crap. I'm so sorry, OP. That is a huge betrayal. OP says, yes, thank you. And absolutely. I had a great day with my son, even though he tried eating the cut hair on the floor. But I definitely don't need to rely on my family if it's going to cause this level of drama. Gometer 2 says, F your brother.

43:14 I hope he reads this. OP says, 100%. OMG. I should print this and send it to him. And those are the end of the comments. Yeah, I want to know what he printed exactly. Was it just like the malicious stuff? If it's a full post with comments.

43:27 Yeah, like how can you not? How can you read that and be like, my daughter is to everyone?

43:31 Yeah, I don't know. If your mom's going to coddle your brother till the end of time and, you know, we're not on this planet forever.

43:39 Yeah.

43:39 It's going to be a rude, rude awakening for him when he finds out, oh, his sister doesn't love him or is going to be there for him.

43:47 Yeah. Oh, well. It's not your fault. Just, you know, live your life and don't listen to them.

43:54 Yeah, no need to stoop to their level. You'll be fine. It seems like your life is going pretty smoothly.

43:59 Yeah.

43:59 And pretty happily so. Let them be upset and sad. Let them be. That's the end of that story. And we got another one coming right up.

44:07 I bought my childhood home with my money. Then my siblings demanded a cut.

44:11 Ooh, no, not for you.

44:13 So my mom passed away about two and a half years ago.

44:16 R.I.P.

44:17 and I have since sold my childhood home. It's a five-bedroom, three-and-a-half bath, one-story house that sits on a nice chunk of land. I and a few of my siblings grew up here, but after my mom's passing, I was the only one left, as everyone else grew up and moved out when she was still alive. I should mention that I'm a twin, and me and my sister are the second youngest. In total, there are nine siblings, including three sets of twins and one deceased R.I.P., And for those who may wonder, there are five fathers total. Wow.

44:47 That's a big family.

44:48 That's a lot of fathers. My mom bought the house a decade before I was born, and the age gap between my older siblings and I is that plus more. I was 20 when my mom passed away, and all of my older siblings and my twin sister had already moved out and begun their lives. I chose not to go to college and stayed home with my mom to help out with my younger sisters, identical twins.

45:09 Double twins?

45:10 Y'all have a lot of Siblings that are very far apart from each other. Because of the age gap, I was only ever close with them and my twin and didn't really have... Oh, my gosh. So many twins.

45:23 There's three twins in this family?

45:26 Well, there's the younger sister's identical twins and then OP and her twin.

45:31 Okay, so at least double twins that we know of right now.

45:34 And didn't really have much of a relationship with my older siblings. By the way, this comes from Far Season 5083, and if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash OK Storytime subreddit. I'm Sophia.

45:45 I'm Keon.

45:46 And we're here to give good advice goofily. And if you've got advice, put it down below. OP says, I decided that I wanted to sell the house because my sisters were getting an apartment and going to school, and I honestly had no use for the space. I don't have kids, and I thought about renting it out, but I don't want the responsibility of being a landlord. My twins supported me, and I did mention to my other siblings in our family group chat that I was selling the house, but only like two of them responded, and they thought I was joking. Why would you be joking? Okay.

46:15 It's not a joking matter.

46:16 Yeah. Fast forward two years later, I have successfully sold the house and announced to my siblings that I got a storage unit for all the old furniture and that they were free to take whatever they want. Now they're in an uproar because they feel that I should split whatever money I got with them because it was not my house to sell.

46:33 Oh.

46:34 Then how did I sell it?

46:36 Were you there?

46:37 Oh, you weren't, so sucks to suck.

46:41 I should also mention that the house was completely paid off and all I had to worry about was utilities. Also, my dad was very helpful and paid all the larger bills, so I won't take credit for that. But my siblings were not helpful at all. They didn't even care about the house because they barely lived in it anyway. My dad and sister think that I don't owe them anything, and if I were to split the money with anyone, it'd be my dad. Also, I plan on using the money to go to school and get myself an apartment.

47:06 Am I being selfish? And edit to clarify some things. My mom did have a will and also a life insurance policy, which she opened while dating my older sister's father. way before I was even a concept. The insurance policy was split between all of us as she had continued to pay into it up until her passing. Her will, however, only listed her first house in it, which she bought with the man previously mentioned. They were not married, but her name was on the deed. He has since passed away and the house was used as a vacation home since it's in Florida. I had no claim to that house because my mom hadn't updated her will and the only children she listed in it were the ones that were alive at the time. which were the oldest, who

47:45 I will refer to as Jordan, Kayla, and Kara. Jordan passed away. Kayla and Kara decided to keep the house as a vacation home for a while until Kayla needed a place to stay and moved in permanently. Unfortunately for all of us, the will was half butted and done by the cheapest attorney that the previously mentioned man could find.

48:03 So there was no in all future possessions portion. I did get an attorney. The current house was legally left to her husband, who she was separated from at the time, but had not legally divorced. I found out when I inquired about selling the house that I legally couldn't, and in the state of Michigan, her husband would have to sell it to me or transfer the deed. So I asked him if he would sell the house to me, and he said that he would. But he would ask his sons, my older brothers, what they wanted to do with it first. OP continues, I'm not sure how that conversation went, but they told him that it was okay to sell it to me. So I used my portion of the life insurance money to buy it from him.

48:39 I guess they thought that I just wanted to own the house for sentimental reasons, but I never hid the fact that I was selling it from anyone. Okay, we're just going to pause right there. The fact that you own the house, immediately they're all in the wrong and they need to shut up.

48:54 I think all your bases are covered. I think you're so fine.

48:57 Because I thought maybe, okay, OP's mom passed. The house is kind of up in the air. It belongs to, you know... Maybe all of them. There wasn't a will that specifically stated that. Like, nope. OP bought the house. Yeah.

49:11 I mean, you did communicate that. I would have been like.

49:14 And you told them you were selling it. Yeah.

49:16 I would have been like, hey, I'm selling the house this week. If you want anything, get it.

49:20 It now.

49:20 Yeah. And you thought it was a joke? Why would you think it was a joke?

49:23 Why would I joke about that?

49:25 Okay.

49:26 Maybe they like sentimental value of like, I want to see the house one more time. Go ahead.

49:29 Go see it. Prior to deciding to sell, I offered it to them because I felt guilty.

49:34 See?

49:34 Okay. You're so good then.

49:36 Your bases are freaking covered.

49:38 If they keep complaining to you, just send them that text again.

49:40 I just send them a text like, hey, are you also going to split the price that I bought it for?

49:48 Yeah.

49:49 I was going to just move with the money that I had and let one of them have the house free of charge. But when no one got back to me, I moved forward. She never married my dad and has only been married twice. Also, I should mention that Kayla and Kara had trust funds and their father was pretty wealthy.

50:03 My brothers, Jake and Josh, lived with their dad after he moved out and never came back. And he fully supports Josh financially. My dad is more lower middle class and honestly didn't start taking care of my sisters, Bella, Paige, and Lily, and I, until we were in grade school. That's the end of the story. You're so fine.

50:22 You're so good.

50:23 You're so fine.

50:24 Also, who was there helping mom when you guys were all having fun with your own lives, you know? I didn't get to have my own life because I was here helping mom. Now I'm going to go to college.

50:36 Sorry.

50:36 Sorry. Bummer. I bought the house and I sold it. Yeah, you're good, OP. Continue as you were. But that's the end of that story. We got another one coming right up.

50:45 Sure do.

50:47 Hey, it's Angie, your favorite fake redhead host here, and we're going to get back to the stories, but here's a three-minute ad break from our sponsors. My mother pushed her new husband on me as a second father for years.

51:01 Well, push your mom's new husband back. Push him.

51:04 My mom, 38 female, and I, 18 female, have a pretty difficult relationship, and it has been that way since her and my dad, 37 male, divorced. Pretty much as soon as my parents told me they were getting a divorce... My mom moved into her own apartment and I didn't like that she wanted me to stay with the babysitter after school when I could stay with my dad. My mom said she didn't want to have to talk to dad like that every day. A couple of months later, my mom ended up in a relationship with a man, 44 male. She later married. We both handled it badly.

51:34 I yelled and cried because I wanted her and dad back together.

51:38 Did we get any therapy for this? Nope.

51:40 Did we go to therapy?

51:42 Because OP is 18 now, so I think she was We're too young when this happened. She pushed me to love the guy and she kept asking me to look at him as another dad. And she kept trying to make me okay with him babysitting me when she was at work. And she wanted me to do one-on-one stuff with him when things were still very early between them.

52:02 And I only had a few months to work through the divorce. That's such a bad idea. Why are we forcing the guy that you want your daughter to like onto your daughter? Like, let's ease her into it. Yeah.

52:14 I mean, if anything, you should have just told your daughter, don't like my new husband.

52:17 Don't like him.

52:18 Don't like him.

52:19 Stop it.

52:20 And she'd love him.

52:21 My mom moved him in as soon as the divorce from my dad went through.

52:26 Yikes.

52:27 She would get annoyed when I called dad on her parenting time. Every time she would ask me why I didn't talk to Stu, then boyfriend, now husband. Instead, and it would turn into a fight between us. Why you didn't talk to a random new guy instead of your father? I wonder.

52:45 Yeah, this seems like your mom failed real hard. Yup.

52:50 When my mom married Stu, she asked me if I would be his little best girl. His what? What? His little best girl? Oh, like a best man, but his little best girl.

53:00 I hate that.

53:01 Terrible. And I said no.

53:03 Honestly?

53:04 Yeah.

53:04 Makes me feel like Stu doesn't have any friends.

53:07 That is accurate.

53:09 If your best man is a best little girl who does not like you.

53:13 My mom told me I was doing it whether I wanted to or not. And I told her I would scream real loud and make the wedding suck if she forced me to. She can't stop even doing that. By the way, this comes from Throwaway Secret Bug. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash showcase story time subreddit. I'm Sophia.

53:30 I'm Dakota.

53:31 We're here to give good advice goofily, but we don't have all the answers. We only know what we do. So let us know what you would do in the comments.

53:37 And Opie says, well, I will say, yes, her mom, her mom could stop her, but she would need to like put her in like a Hannibal Lecter style, like mask.

53:45 Yes.

53:45 Straight jacket. Yeah, but it's probably not feasible.

53:48 It's a straight jacket, but it also looks like they've retrofitted a really cute little dress. Yeah, around it.

53:56 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

53:57 And she's just, like, standing up there, like... It's like when you put a dog... Strapped to a dolly, like, with a.

54:02 Mask over her face.

54:04 It's like when you put a dog in a little tux, you know? It's like the dog is still there, but they have a little tux with legs. You know what I'm talking about? I don't know.

54:13 All I see is the tuxedo.

54:14 Perfect.

54:16 Soon after my mom remarried, my dad dated someone briefly. He saw I wasn't taking it well, so he put his love life on hold until I was older.

54:24 Well, I know.

54:25 Who was the good person in this divorce? And it wasn't your mom.

54:29 Sounds like you should have been with your dad.

54:30 Does sound like it. My mom got very weird about him dating. And I remember telling her she was dumb and she replaced him. So maybe he should replace her too. Mom told me Stu was better. And she asked me why I wouldn't let him in. I told her he was dumb and I didn't want him. And I was never going to let him be my dad. This fight happened over many years. And one day I told her that I wish dad had found me another mom. So then it would be fair. My mom had some kind of episode over that and she thought it was cruel for me to say that to her face. It was a few months later. My dad took my mom to court at my request and asked for full custody, which the judge granted based on my wishes.

55:10 Oh, how is that?

55:11 I just don't understand how that would not be a wake up call for your mom to be like, oh, no, I messed up. Maybe irreversibly.

55:21 No, that's just everyone conspiring against her.

55:23 Yeah, she's like, you just all hate me and don't want me to be happy.

55:27 Yeah, she didn't mess up. The world is against her.

55:30 I only had to spend four hours every other Saturday with my mom after that, and I did not have to sleep at her house or interact with Stu. A few times she brought him along, and I turned around and left the place we were meeting at. Then, for a whole year, 17 to 18, I didn't see her at all. My mom called and tried to push for the Saturdays together, but I had enough. She finally figured out I was serious about not seeing her when my birthday hit and I celebrated without her.

56:00 Yeah, dude.

56:01 Mom, your vibes are bad.

56:02 Your vibes are just freaking bad. Not my fault. She asked me if I would go to family therapy with her and I said, sure. Could have done that earlier.

56:10 Should have done that.

56:11 Immediately.

56:12 Immediately. Right away.

56:14 Maybe would have saved your relationship with your daughter. Family therapy started over a month ago. The first few sessions were us explaining our sides of everything. Last session, my mom decided to try and guilt me into seeing Stu as more than just her husband. So she's tried the direct approach of just demanding. And now she's like, well, Stu cries every day because you don't see him as your father. He cries, he sobs every day. And that's your fault. My mom broke down and she told me she had only been with dad before Stu and she couldn't stay with him anymore. And only know one person.

56:54 That was the reason that she divorced your dad.

56:56 That's horrific.

56:58 She couldn't have figured that out before she married him and had a kid with him. That's terrible.

57:06 Your mom sounds like she just needs therapy.

57:08 Yes.

57:08 First. She told me she didn't want to lose her family though. So she wanted Stu to be my dad as well. So it felt like we had a perfect family. Can't force a perfect family.

57:17 So in an effort to save your family, you alienated your daughter and ruined your family.

57:26 It's also so interesting to me that OP's mom had this whole conversation about, oh, well, I've only been with one person and then immediately marries the first person she meets.

57:36 Yeah, that's what I would call mentally ill.

57:40 Opie says when I didn't rush to say anything she started crying harder and repeating over and over how she just wanted us to be a normal family but it couldn't be with dad and how it hurts her that dad can date now and have relationships but I won't let her be fully happy in hers. They're just not the same situation.

57:59 Yeah, 0%.

58:00 You know what? I wasn't going to show this, but now I am.

58:02 Your mom is doing the therapy to manipulation pipeline.

58:06 Yeah, she brought you to therapy so that she could use the therapist to manipulate you. I asked her if she would be cool with me calling the next girlfriend mom and letting her be my other mom. Her crying instantly stopped, and she left the session early. Yeah, it's like.

58:26 Oh, you've... You've caught me. I must leave.

58:30 Oh, it's like when you say Rumpelstiltskin's actual name.

58:36 What is his actual name?

58:37 Rumpelstiltskin.

58:39 What's his fake name?

58:40 Terry?

58:42 Well, no, you know, like in the story when Rumpelstiltskin's like, if you say my name.

58:47 I am unfamiliar with the story of Rumpelstiltskin, honestly. All I remember is that scene from Shrek 4 where he's just.

58:53 Like, sign it.

58:54 Yeah sign it yeah so he's kind of like that he's a little trickster tricks people into giving them they're like first born or whatnot and but if you trick him into saying his name then you're you're scot-free and it feels like the mom is like oh you've said my name i must go i have.

59:13 To go now you know what anyway taking it out of rumplestiltskin it it really does feel like when someone has been accused of cheating and they're like.

59:24 What no i would never that's so crazy and.

59:26 Then you're like i have the evidence i have all the messages and then they just And they're.

59:31 Like, well, I cheated because you weren't like good enough. And it's like, okay, there's so many.

59:36 We've got, we've got, I've got five more in the chamber I could pull out right now.

59:40 I will keep them there.

59:41 Now she's angry and she asked me how I could watch her cry and pour her heart out and still won't give her what she wants. She's like, wait, I just don't understand. I guilt tripped you and it didn't work.

59:51 I cried. The rules say I'm right now.

59:55 It leads me to question our relationship. I was happier in that year of no contact than I was trying to have some little relationship with her. But she is my only mom until your dad gets remarried.

1:00:06 Yeah, according to her logic.

1:00:09 And despite me asking the other mom question, I would never see someone else as my mom, just like I would never see someone else as my dad. Yes. And that's completely fair. Yeah.

1:00:19 Sorry, but your mom's crazy and it's going to make you think everything that's normal is weird for a long time.

1:00:25 Go to therapy.

1:00:27 Yeah.

1:00:27 You just need individual therapy and you got to work that, you know, work all of that out. But at least you got a cool dad who loves you.

1:00:35 Cool dad alert.

1:00:36 But that's the end of that story and we got nothing more.

1:00:39 No, we don't.

1:00:40 Yes, we do.

1:00:41 We got nothing else. That's the end of the episode.