My husband thinks I CHEATED…cause I snuck out at midnight for months! -r/BestofRedditorUpdates | Reddit Stories | EP3106

0:00 Hey, this is Keon.

0:01 And this is your host, Riley, your favorite OK Storytel host. And we've got some great stories coming up from you.

0:06 But before that, we have a two minute break from the sponsors that keep the show alive.

0:11 My husband thinks I cheated because I snuck out at midnight for months.

0:16 What were you doing at midnight? I, 36.

0:18 Female, have a secret secret. I am a mother of two kids who are five female and eight female. I barely got time for myself.

0:26 What? Was that a secret?

0:28 Yes, I have a secret. I am a mother of two kids. I barely get time for myself during the day. I work in a field where I always have to deal with kids. You can't say I have a secret and then follow it up with.

0:41 I have kids.

0:42 I have kids. I work in a field that works with kids.

0:45 Yeah, that is OP secret. She's like, I'm always stressed out with kids.

0:49 It can get really exhausting. My husband, Dave, 35 male, is an early bird.

0:55 Secret.

0:56 Are you the worm?

0:57 He always goes to sleep at sharp 10 p.m. So do my kids. I'm more of a night owl. I don't usually go to sleep till 2 a.m.

1:05 Girl, go to sleep.

1:06 Go to sleep.

1:07 2 a.m.

1:08 I feel you. I feel you, OP.

1:10 You cannot come in tired and then say, oh, I went to bed at 2 a.m.

1:14 I can.

1:15 I either watch a show or read a book. That's the only relaxing time I get for myself. About six months ago, I discovered a pizzeria in my town. They opened recently. The pizza was one of the best I ever had. I have been going there after my husband and kids go to bed. It's a five-minute walking distance.

1:33 The pizzeria is open till 3 a.m. I have eaten there a lot, but I can say during the night, they make the best pizza. I always go there and order one medium pizza. They also have a dessert section where they serve cakes, ice cream, gelatos, and cheesecake. By the way, this comes from throwawayfoodies76. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash showcase story time subreddit. I'm Sophia.

1:55 I'm Keon.

1:56 I'm Riley.

1:57 And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we don't have all the answers. So let us know your answers below. We've got a little bit left. A lot of bit left. We have so much left.

2:07 Like a full pie or like a pizza.

2:10 This is the time when I feel blissful when I'm eating alone. And no one's around. Could you not have just told your husband, hey, I'm going to go get a pizza?

2:19 Oh, if you do that, I guarantee you. What about the kids? What about me?

2:24 Did you bring me back any?

2:26 I would always come home as soon as I was done eating. I don't do this more often. Just once or twice a month. The times I would plan to go there, I wouldn't eat much for dinner and my husband doesn't know. Maybe because they're heavy sleepers and don't notice that I'm gone. I know a lot of you are questioning why I don't just order it. I know I can, but those 10 minute walks are very good. Plus, if I ordered at home, I'd have to hide the boxes.

2:47 It would have been difficult to explain. There are hardly any people on the streets. Our neighborhood is pretty safe. how to defend myself so the dangers are low. I always make sure my kids and Mr. Husband are deep asleep when I go out. I always check the windows and the doors before going out. I always lock the doors.

3:03 So far it's just been good. I needed this time alone for myself. It's not like I always eat there. I usually eat healthy. But sometimes I don't mind going full Nikado avocado. I exercise a lot and keep my health in check. So today when I woke up, I saw my husband in the kitchen with the bill. I forgot to throw out the bill. My husband was upset.

3:24 I can tell in his mind he might be thinking something else. I told him I can explain. He said, why do I have a restaurant bill from yesterday at 1 a.m.? Was I meeting someone that I shouldn't? I told him the truth. I did nothing wrong, but I know hiding it from him was not a good idea at all. I confessed everything that I've been doing for the last six months. He looked at me suspiciously. I don't think he bought my explanation. I mean, that's pretty easily proven. You just say, hey, like, come with me to the pizza place. They know me.

3:52 I'm a one to two month regular.

3:54 He said nothing and went to work. I've been calling him, but he keeps ignoring me. The last message I got was that he also found other receipts and is in a dilemma if all of this is true. He was upset that I hid something like this from him. I understand. I would never do anything to hurt him. I would never cheat on him. I love him a lot. It was just an innocent little secret of mine. I really messed up. I don't think he believes me. I should have just told him I was going out to eat so that he doesn't have to be suspicious. I know that my husband wouldn't have said anything to me if I just told him earlier. I don't know why I decided to keep it a secret. Maybe it was because I had the thrill of sneaking out.

4:33 Or maybe it was just the relaxation of just like your mind is at ease and this is your alone time.

4:40 I have to think of a plan to make my husband not be upset with me. Any advice, please? We've got some relevant comments. What do you guys think?

4:48 I think this is a ruse. I think she's actually cheating. She wrote this Reddit story so she could prove to her husband she's not cheating.

4:54 I feel like if you just talk to your husband like, hey, I'm at my wits end, and this is the only time I get to just chill out.

5:03 Well, actually, maybe what you do is you take him on one of your little 3 a.m. jaunts, or 2 a.m.

5:08 Jaunts.

5:09 You say, try this pizza. Staff knows me. Staff's like, oh, hey, it's the girl that comes alone again.

5:14 And then you.

5:15 Clear your name.

5:16 I hope you have, like, a points, like, reward system.

5:19 But we got comments. Dragonic Smiles says, you could tell him to go ask the restaurant staff if you're alone. Maybe that will alleviate his fears. The staff should remember the regulars, right? I get why you did it. Sometimes I want to get alone time, but I also get why he's upset. Like someone else said, his brain is going through the worst case scenarios. He may also feel left out. Maybe talk to him about arranging some time for both of you together and get a babysitter in or family member to watch the kids and include him in an excursion. Or if you desperately do need the alone time, talk to him about it. Yeah, that's fair.

5:52 He might just feel left out.

5:54 He wants pizza.

5:56 I think I would understand if my boyfriend needed alone time and needed to go get his pizza.

6:01 Especially if he's that stay-at-home mom. He's been taking care of the kids all day.

6:04 OP says, it's not like we never go out. We do go out on dates alone whenever we can get a sitter. This is one thing my husband is consistent about. Last year, we went on a weekend vacation, just the two of us. I love that. I like spending time with him. But sometimes I just need me time. And this 10 minute walk and eating pizza is just that.

6:24 But on the other hand, I know the owner really well. We used to chat sometimes when I went there. He knows my husband because I showed him a picture of my family. He's a good man and might listen to my request. But we got an update. A lot of you guys have been asking me for an update. So I'm making one and be done with it. First of all, those who asked, how can one person eat a medium pizza? Well, she's not eating anything else. And I'm imagining, you know, maybe like a You.

6:49 Want to see someone eat a medium pizza? I'll show you right now. I can do it.

6:54 Well, I have a really big appetite. Don't judge. Also, whenever I decide to go to the pizzeria, I only eat a small bowl of salad that night and nothing else. Plus, they have thick crust on pizza and I don't like to eat the crust. I like the pizza because the sauce is impeccable. Also, to those who asked why I hid it from him, I just didn't want him to make a fuss about me going out at night. I don't think this is controlling like many of you suggested.

7:15 He just cares about me a lot and worries. I also don't think that is controlling. I think that's pretty standard to be like, I don't want my wife walking at night alone.

7:26 But also, like, can't just feel like she can communicate with me because she wants alone time.

7:31 Plus, I don't want to.

7:32 Wake him up in the middle of the night just to tell him where I'm going out to eat pizza or have him be worried too much about it. So on to the update. I decided to tell my husband, Dave, everything. I even decided that when he comes home, I will take him to that pizza place and talk to the owner, Saul. Usually, my husband comes home by 6 p.m., but that day he texted me and said he will be late and do not eat dinner without him. I was confused and scared.

7:57 He came home at 9 p.m. He wasn't empty-handed. He had three boxes of pizza for all of us. He said, I got to try some of this pizza you've been raving about. One of which was meat lovers pizza, which I like. It was from Saul's place. Good husband. He took a minute. He's like, you know what? I know my wife. She just really likes pizza.

8:19 He probably went there. He's like, hey, you've probably seen my wife. What is she like? You know her.

8:23 He sat me down and told me when he found the receipt, his mind went on a rampage of imagining the worst possible scenarios. He went to the pizza place to see if it was true or not. I like that. I like that he, you know, he was like, you know what? This is very easily solved. I'm not going to jump to all these conclusions that my mind wants me to jump to. Just very easily. Like I've heard it from her side. Very easy to go check. He went there by himself and some of the staff recognized him.

8:49 I know some of the staff there and they know my husband too, because I do talk about my family to them sometimes when they're making my pizza. I love that. I love that they recognize him.

8:57 Yeah. These are your friends now. These are your pals.

9:01 He also met the owner. Saul confirmed that I would sometimes come to his shop to eat alone. Dave and Saul chatted for a while and he also gave a discount on the pizza and gave us free cheesecake and gelato. Shut up.

9:13 That's because you're a regular and they're no longer your pizza pal.

9:17 Now he was a little serious. He said he doesn't mind if I go out and eat some pizza in the middle of the night. He understands that sometimes we just need some space. He is upset that I hid this from him, which is understandable. He made some valid points too. What if something happened to me and he got a call from the police? It would create so much drama. What if in the middle of the night, he or the girls wake up and don't find me?

9:38 It will obviously scare him. What if the girls needed me and there was an emergency? I now understand it better that I should have just informed him about these nightly outings. I apologized for not telling him and putting him in a position that sounds a fairy. I also explained that I don't want him to worry about me.

9:54 And also, I did think about telling him about it before, but I just didn't know how to approach it. I mean doesn't it sound weird when I say, hey babe, when everyone goes to sleep, I sneak out and eat pizza alone. Dave and I both laughed. He also apologized for doubting me in the first place. He said I do not have to worry so much about it, and if I ever have these midnight cravings, I can just leave a note on his nightstand. That way, if he ever wakes up, He knows where I am and where to find me in case of any emergency. And also told me I can order in if I want to.

10:24 My final thoughts are great. I think this should you continue your little tradition. He respects that. Maybe he goes with you sometimes on a little late night adventure for pizza. I think that's amazing. I think that's amore.

10:37 Well, then we had our pizza dinner with our girls who were really happy to eat pizza. Dave bought a large one for me. A medium is good, but it's hard for me to consume a large one. Dave said he might check this pizza place alone sometimes because it's literally the second time he's eating there. After we were done, I put my girls into bed and we adults enjoyed some of the gelatos with each other and later off each other. So that's just it. No drama, no fighting.

11:02 I decided that I would order in sometimes too. Though I like walking there, I also love being lazy sometimes. Also, to those people who are saying that I am cheating on my husband, Riley. And me going out to eat without telling him is similar to cheating. That is wild. That is wild. You guys really need to chill. Yeah, I'm having an affair with meat lover's pizza. Yeah, happy.

11:25 I agree there is miscommunication from my part, but you guys are really stretching this thing like a pizza for absolutely no reason at all.

11:32 What do you want from me? I'm scarred. Every time I go on here, it's something like that. What do you expect from me?

11:38 Yeah, that's his trigger response. It's fair.

11:41 No one else has a wholesome ending like this.

11:44 And that's the end of this story. We're going to go on to the next one. I overheard my husband say his heart still races for his ex after 12 years.

11:53 Better race away from him.

11:55 Hi, everyone. I, a 32 female, have been married to my husband, 38 male, for 12 years. We met when I was doing my internship at his company while I was still in college. We got married before I even graduated. We have two sons, seven and five. My husband owns a construction and architecture firm, and we work together. You guys work together or you work for him? Until recently, I thought we had a happy marriage. But a few weeks ago, I accidentally found out that my husband is still in love with his ex-girlfriend. I overheard it completely by chance. I was supposed to stay at home that day, but I decided last minute to go to the office.

12:34 When I arrived, he was talking with one of his close friends. His ex had apparently left her husband and was struggling financially. She had reached out to my husband for help finding a place to live and he was helping her.

12:46 Oh, so he's already in contact with his ex.

12:49 So, then I heard him say, my heart still races when I'm around her. I froze. It felt like the air left my lungs. I started crying uncontrollably. Some of our employees saw me, sat me down, and gave me water. Then, my husband came. Later, when I confronted him, he said that when his ex got married, he decided it was time for him to settle down too.

13:11 Oh, so y'all were together?

13:13 Oh, if she jumps off a bridge, you're going to jump off a bridge too?

13:15 What I want to know is the timeline. Were you guys together? And then he saw that his ex was getting married. He was like, well, propose or.

13:24 I think they were dating.

13:26 Well, my other question is, did he see his ex get married? And then he was just like, who's the first person?

13:33 And he also said that I was a good match for him at the time. He said our lifestyles, values, and families aligned well. He told me he truly values me and never wanted to hurt me. He said, I couldn't marry the woman I loved, but you did marry the man you love. I didn't want to go through the same pain, so I worked hard to make sure you were happy.

13:52 Oh, he thought he cooked with that. No.

13:55 Go ahead and stab me in the back, too, while you're at it.

13:58 I couldn't marry the woman I love, so I had to make sure you made the man you love.

14:02 You were the next best thing, but you will never be her. Wow.

14:05 Yeah, yeah.

14:09 My husband also said, marriage requires work, but you never had to work for it because I work to give you a perfect marriage. Shut up. By the way, this comes from a deleted user. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit. I'm Keon.

14:22 I'm Sophia.

14:23 I'm Riley.

14:24 And we're here to give advice goofily. We don't know everything, guys. We only know what we do, so let us know what you do in the comments down below. Like, scream at this guy. As OP says. To be fair, we've never had any major issues. Our families get along extremely well. We even live really close, which makes childcare easy. We often travel together while our parents look after the kids.

14:44 But hearing that he's still in love with someone else broke something inside me. He told me, You're the most important person in my life. I don't want to break our family apart. I want our kids to grow up happy.

14:56 This guy stinks.

14:57 P.U., He just keeps pointing the finger at you, Opie.

15:00 Yeah, he's like, oh, I made you happy. Why are you complaining?

15:04 Then he said, I know you'd never leave the kids. If you ever wanted to remarry, you'd want someone who treats you and them well. So why can't that person be me? Why does he sound like he's trying to give you, like, an out?

15:16 Yeah, he's like, you're welcome.

15:18 I'm completely lost. Should I stay in this marriage? Can I ever truly forgive this? And we have an update. I wish he just gave it to me.

15:27 Yeah, I mean, it's pretty dope. It's pretty terrible that this guy is telling you all of this now after you have two kids.

15:35 He said, yeah, I gave you this. Our marriage is perfect. I don't think I'll ever love you as much as I loved that one. But I gave you all of this. That's enough love, right?

15:46 He's like, you're welcome. Why aren't you not happy with all of the stuff that I've done for you? And also, I don't love you.

15:52 Yeah, it's pretty sad. I'm sorry. Well, could you imagine how long this has been? I mean, he's never let go of his ex.

15:59 Also, I want to... Wait, are you guys at a good stopping point?

16:01 Yeah, we're at an update.

16:02 There's this thing called the first love theory. Men's first love theory posits that a man's first significant romantic relationship leaves a lasting impact, often leading to an idolization of that initial experience. This theory suggests that men may struggle to replicate or equal the intensity of their first love, potentially leading to a lifelong comparison of subsequent relationships to this benchmark.

16:27 Well, it's like that thing that they say of how this is a generalization, obviously, but how women will get will be more affected immediately after a breakup, but then get over it more quickly.

16:40 Emotionally more like.

16:42 Well, yeah, emotionally recover.

16:44 Easy, quicker. Yeah.

16:46 But men will be like, oh, I don't even think about it. And then, like, think about it year down the line.

16:51 Yeah.

16:51 So I feel like that kind of is similar.

16:53 That's true. That happened to me.

16:54 I mean, I feel like everyone remembers, I mean, unless it's like your only first true love, but everyone remembers like their first true experience of like dating someone who was a good person and genuine with them. So.

17:06 Not me.

17:06 My first true love is my boyfriend.

17:08 So.

17:09 All right. We got an update. So I called my husband and told him that I'm going to start therapy, that I want to be alone for a while and that it would be best if we permanently lived in separate houses.

17:19 Oh, yeah. Fair.

17:21 He said he absolutely doesn't want a divorce, that he will never leave me, and that our marriage is strong enough to overcome this.

17:28 Dude, overcome you not being in love with me? Yeah, you said- You loving your ex and lying about helping her?

17:35 I didn't marry the woman I loved.

17:37 Yeah, like that, we cannot overcome that, bud.

17:39 I know one way he would divorce Opie.

17:42 If, again, his ex said, hey, let's get back together.

17:46 Yeah, his ex divorced- His ex divorced, so now he's going to get back with her.

17:49 I don't think his ex, well, his ex is using him for help right now.

17:53 My husband told me, you're the most important person in my life, and I just can't let you go.

17:59 Shut up.

17:59 I hate this guy.

18:01 You know, it's fun when you say it, but are you doing it?

18:04 Yeah, we're the actions to back up your words.

18:07 He suggested that we keep living in the same house and go to couples therapy together.

18:12 You can't therapy away you not loving me. Like, what's therapy going to do? It's like, yeah, my husband told me that he doesn't love me and that he will always love his ex. Can you make him love me?

18:22 A little bit left here, Sophia. Do you think this is going, yeah, doomed? Do you think this is going to, you know, this may put a band-aid on it? What do we think?

18:32 I think OP knows it, and I really need to know what their ages are.

18:35 Yeah, 32 female, 38 male.

18:38 I've been asking this whole time, and none of y'all... I asked like seven times.

18:42 Yeah.

18:42 You said it a minute ago. So whenever she was in college, they met and he was only, he was only, he was only six years older than her. So she met him at 20. He was 26 or 21, 27, something like that.

18:54 Oh, wow.

18:54 And he had a company.

18:56 It's probably his dad's company.

18:58 Okay.

18:58 Good to know.

19:00 Before we get into this final little tidbit here, uh, If I heard my partner say, you fell in love with the right person, but I didn't.

19:09 Yeah. I'm done. It's like, oh, no, I did not fall in love with the right person.

19:15 Can't fix that. Can't unhear that. But as many of you reminded me, I can't keep living with the reality that he doesn't love me the way I thought he did. I told him I need to work through my feelings first. I also have to admit, I'm a little scared of what I might hear in therapy. It's 11.30 p.m., where I live right now, and my husband is sitting outside in his car. He's been at the hotel for a week.

19:36 But after this conversation, he said he'll live in the car until I let him come home.

19:40 In the car?

19:41 I mean, if it's like a truck, it's pretty comfy. I've seen some people, you could just lay down on the back of it. So it's really not that bad.

19:47 I just think that's ridiculous. Hotel, couch, friend.

19:52 He's been out there for about an hour now. And that's the end of it. Riley, can you double check if there is an update for us?

20:00 Oh, deleted.

20:01 Oh, that's right. Deleted user.

20:03 I think based on the fact that we know that he has a house, owns a company... I think he is financially fine enough to go stay at a hotel and or I don't know, like some other more comfortable option than car. I think he's trying to make her feel bad so that she lets him come back. He's like, oh, I'm in the car. You want me to stay in the car all the time?

20:25 Oh, so he says, I agree with you with what you said. Someone said something about keeping up with an affair. He told me that he would never act on his feelings for her, that he would never cheat on me.

20:38 But he's out here telling other people at work his feelings.

20:41 He never cheated on me and that her family and I are more important to him than his ex. He said, I could live without her, but I don't know how I'd live without you. Considering the kids, I honestly don't know what decision I should make.

20:54 He's a lot of words guy. He's a big words guy.

20:56 You're going to be a lot happier and a lot better able to take care of your kids if you're not with this guy.

21:03 I'm not going to say divorce immediately, but I don't know. Just hear that and obviously try the therapy, see if it works.

21:10 I mean, but you can't make someone love you. There is no therapy that can fix something that has never been there.

21:20 Yeah, you just go to a magic witch in the middle of the woods, get me a love potion.

21:23 You get a little one-wish willow, make him love you, and then he is really awful.

21:29 I don't think he'll ever get it. I don't think he'll ever understand it. especially what he said, can never be taken back. My heart still races for my ex, even though it's been 12 years.

21:39 Another comment. It's hard to find these comments because I have to go through the thread themselves instead of like, because it's deleted. So he was a really good life partner. He has always been in my corner and I never had to worry about anything because he was always like, I got it, don't worry. Whenever we had a fight, he would come to me and say, whatever matters most is your happiness and our family, often with a thoughtful gift.

22:00 Because of all these memories, this whole situation feels even more painful.

22:04 I think he's just buying it. He has enough finances to really show how much he loves you through buying it. But sometimes, yes, gift giving is one of, you know, Signs of love. But what you said, my guy, you can take it back.

22:19 I think he just knows. I think he thinks that this is how life goes. You get married, you have kids.

22:26 And hearing anyone like your partner say that, oh, I will never love you as much as I loved my ex or this person is gonna hurt.

22:35 Yeah, I mean, it depends on what you see love as. Some people see security as love. Some people see, I don't know, freedom within a marriage as love. But if you need that like chemistry to feel loved and not the support, the protection or like the other things, then that's what you need.

22:52 What does OP need to do to show you that she loves you? Or, you know, how can she over, you know, be number one or that person? She shouldn't have to be in competition with your ex. And that's the end of this story. We're going to go on to the next one.

23:09 I moved across the world for my husband and he ran a smear campaign against me.

23:14 Well, time to move across the world again.

23:17 My husband and I have almost been together for 10 years. He's been my rock, my best friend, and literally my biggest cheerleader. We have had disagreements like most other couples, but never any screaming matches or anything we couldn't work out just by taking a breather and talking it out. It's been the most stable, loving, and supportive relationship I've ever been in, which is why I moved from the UK to the USA. I love him so much.

23:44 Across the pond.

23:45 Last night, my husband went to bed early. He was working an early morning shift this morning. I was buying something for our toddler and needed a PayPal code. that got sent to his phone. So, like I always do, I picked up the phone and opened his messages to grab it when I saw another message from a work friend of his, James. The message preview read, She shouldn't be doing that in front of the kids. And I opened it. There was a long conversation in which my husband tells this person that I flipped out at him for praying with our children. This has never happened, and that he's leaving us. and going to try to get full custody of the kids. By the way, this comes from Foxtroll, LOL. And if you want to speak on stories,

24:31 you know exactly where to go. I'm Riley.

24:33 I'm Keon.

24:34 I'm Sophia.

24:34 And we're going to read the story goofily with our advice and our knowledge. We don't know everything, but if you have anything you'd like to say, please add it down below. Opie says, It might have been a bit dramatic of me, but I just started crying. It felt like someone gut one-two'd me in the stomach. I woke him up and told him I saw the messages. He first said he didn't know what I was talking about before rolling over saying, I'm not talking about this right now.

25:00 Oh, that's lovely. That's nice of him.

25:01 30 minutes later, he joins me in the living room and slams me with, why were you looking at my phone like we have an open phone policy? I didn't go snooping. I never had a reason to. I simply went to get a code like I do all the time. Then he says, this friend knows the real truth because he came clean. To which I said, I want you to know I already spoke with him. So I know that's not true. Yes, I lied.

25:31 Is that okay? All right. OP's playing ball right now. OP's trying to play chess. Playing poker. This is her poker face.

25:41 Is it okay to lie right now?

25:42 I mean, we know that he's been bad mouthing you, so.

25:45 Yeah, he's been lying. But you're just lying to a liar.

25:47 You're lying to allow her to get some more truth out of him. Yeah.

25:51 So it's okay? This is some... Yeah, we need some... We need this truth.

25:55 I mean, we're not... I don't think we're trying to save a relationship here.

25:58 And honestly, we're... If anything, it's his friend.

26:02 And then the story flipped that he said that to his friend because he doesn't trust me. He did it because he knew I was spying on him. He did it because I've changed. He did it because all of these reasons... that had nothing to do with him. I ended the conversation with him at 2 o'clock in the morning, where I told him, I moved across the world to be with you, I gave you a family, I've supported you, I've comforted you, been honest with you, loved you, cared for you, and you have been running a smear campaign, painting me as a villain for reasons I don't think even you understand. The person I love the most in this world has hurt me more than anything else could ever.

26:44 What you did broke every ounce of trust I have in you. It's marriage ending and I need you to really let that sink in. I didn't deserve any of this. Why you did it has nothing to do with me and everything to do with you. And if you want a shot at fixing it, I need you to go to therapy. I don't mean one session. I really need you to go and figure out why the F you did this to me and us. I'm willing to go to couples therapy with you. but I need you to please give me some space for a few days. Opie says, I'm just yelling into the void at this point. Sorry to interrupt you strangers. We have an update.

27:24 So his reasoning was because they were like, Opie's changed since they moved and like talking behind her back because she prays with the kids.

27:33 Like he prays, he prays with the kids and she's upset. He's upset about him. She's like, So what happened was he prayed with his kids. He texted his friend. Oh, I don't like it when she doesn't like it whenever I do that. But that's a lie.

27:46 Apparently, this sounds all so messy that he can't have a conversation with you about something that bothers him about you. But he can talk to his friends about it.

27:56 It might be the reason of I don't want to bring this up because it might end our relationship. And she just moved here. So I don't I'm just going to have to live with this.

28:03 Imagine not having a conversation about that with someone who literally just moved away. Across the Atlantic for you.

28:09 So update. I called my father-in-law and my husband's uncle. I sent them screenshots of the messages, him admitting he lied about me and that he doesn't know why he did it. Uncle advised me to go to couples therapy, but start getting divorce ducks lined up. He sent me the number of a family lawyer who's a friend of his.

28:30 He also offered to drop by randomly this afternoon when my husband comes to see the kids. The uncle especially echoed a few comments, and I agree. I think I'm underreacting. Sophia just found us an update. I'm going to look that up right now. Update two. Thank you, Sophia, for finding this. Today was a lot. I called a lot of lawyers. I have a meeting with one, not the uncle's suggestion, later this week to discuss custody agreements while separated, and I'm definitely getting all of my crap together. I also called the bank and started moving my finances into a different account. Oh my gosh. I don't know if he's having an affair with James or anything else, but I don't think it would change anything. I don't think

29:19 I would feel worse knowing that he's the reason. I definitely wouldn't feel better, so I've decided to just let him do whatever he is doing and just focus on my own business. For those wondering, yes, my children are dual citizens. but I have no intention of taking them out of country. I have a life here, a home.

29:40 a business and this is what all my children know i don't believe my husband is a real danger to anyone especially them he's a wonderful father even if right now he's a terrible husband you think he's cheating with james.

29:54 That would make sense why he was lying to James about, because like, why else would you lie to someone about what your wife is doing if not to make it seem like your relationship's on the rocks?

30:04 To gain sympathy.

30:06 Why? And even Opie in the last post was like, we don't even have a real reason. He just got caught and he's like, eh.

30:13 Yeah, he didn't have much hesitation. He didn't fight it. He didn't say no, no, no. He didn't deny it for very long. We got the truth out of it. You don't even know why he did it.

30:20 Weird. Ugh. And that's the end of this story. We're going to go on to the next one.

30:26 Hey, it's Smiley Riley here from OK Storytime. We're going to get back to these stories, but here's three minutes worth of ads from our sponsors.

30:34 My partner refused to wash her hands, so I ended it.

30:37 Ew!

30:39 Starts off, I am sick and tired. So am I. So very cranky and likely not the kindest here. I got terrible celiac education, so when my spouse met me, I was still cheating on some days and happily ordering the gluten-free crust at Domino's and wondering why my IBS was so bad.

30:57 Is she like getting toast on her hands and shoving it in your face? What's happening here?

31:01 So I finally got better education from a primary care doc who had celiacs too and learned the hard way over time that I am quite sensitive to cross-contamination. I used to do all the cooking for my spouse and I, which then turned into all the cooking and even all the cleaning, which eventually turned into a lot of relationship issues and couples therapy.

31:19 Dang, it sounds like my parents' relationship. Because my mom got celiac disease.

31:23 Does she?

31:24 Yeah, yeah, yeah. She can't eat gluten. But she's so good at cooking that you don't even know is it gluten-free.

31:29 Yeah. Somewhere along the line, she also started relying almost exclusively on takeout, which has become both a financial and a health issue that's being actively worked on. Sharing a kitchen is hard. She frequently missed spots when cleaning dishes, and I'd realized too late that the clean knife I grabbed had crumbs caked into old peanut butter, etc. That's foul.

31:53 That's really messed up. As a person who has friends who also can't do cross-contamination, it is really not that hard.

32:00 Also, it's cleaning the dishes.

32:03 It's just cleaning the dishes.

32:04 If people are cleaning the dishes and they see food on it and they're like, that's good enough, not okay. So, eventually, we separated dishes. What?

32:13 Separate dishes? What does that even look like? What does that even mean? That's your cabinet of dishes? My cabinet of dishes? What does the sink look like? Is it like your side of the sink? Her side of the sink?

32:21 Here we go, Riley. You ready? We also separated sponges, which was a year-long battle until she would do it consistently.

32:28 That's actually not even... I would separate sponges. I think that's a good thing to do, but it's crazy that she was, like, pushing back on the... Like, just use a different sponge.

32:37 By the way, this comes from user EasierThanBaseball. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit. I'm Keon.

32:43 I'm Riley.

32:44 I'm Sophia.

32:45 And we're here to give good advice goofily. We don't know everything, everyone, all at once. Or do we? We only know what we do, so let us know what you do in the comments down below. Please. As Opie says. Still, she will leave crumbs everywhere. Vondel bagels and breads and cereals then touch all over our kitchen. It got to the point where I would be consistently sick and assuming it was IBS except when she was traveling or I was away from home. Put two and two together and started treating the whole house as cross-contaminated.

33:14 She's just like dragging her bread loaves everywhere she goes.

33:18 This is like a... You know, like when you see a kid and even kids know not to like touch things, but they go, let me touch that. Let me touch this. Let me touch this. Let me touch that. Let me touch this. Also, I sneezed on my hands and coughed in my hands earlier. I didn't wash them. Oops.

33:32 Opie, I think your girlfriend hates you.

33:36 I think they're trying to unalive you, Opie. So? That helped manage symptoms, but was and is exhausting and leads to other issues for me as I'm not able to eat regularly or frequently enough and my hands go raw and develop sores from frequency of washing. Your hand is developing sores because you have to wash your dishes so much or to the point, to that extent, you get sores.

34:02 I mean, I'll pee them on your side, but get some gloves.

34:06 So this became an issue in couples therapy, and she was willing to do a joint session with my dietician for education and problem solving. The fact that you need a professional to be like, hey, stop doing this with food. Your partner's passing away.

34:20 Yeah, good morning says, is she an allergy denier?

34:23 She agreed to safe handling practices because she insisted she can't not eat gluten due to an already limited diet from sensory sensitivities. She backslid so hard that I feel like I'm back to square one. There's crumbs everywhere. I can't touch things like the TV remote because they're smeared with gluten. When I forget, it's like Russian roulette with getting symptoms. I don't always get sick, but I do often enough that it is a problem. She swears it's not intentional and that she's trying and that she cares and is willing to make changes. But it's been years of this pattern. They're trying real hard, I see.

35:00 Years?

35:01 I don't know how else to get my spouse to recognize how serious this is or to even care. She's seen how sick I get again and again. I don't get how she doesn't follow through on this. We have couples therapy in a couple of days and I wanted to crowdsource other ways folks have dealt with unsupportive or competent spouses. Is there a next step before separation or divorce?

35:24 Are there creative approaches to managing cross-contamination that you've found? What are reasonable consequences to this kind of repeated boundary violation? And there's an edit, but guys.

35:34 Every day when you wake up, put on your contamination suit, wear gloves, and walk around with not actually even touching anything. Letting your gloves touch the things, letting your contamination suit touch things, and you will never again have any issues with getting sick. But you have to do that in your own home. Are you willing to do that? Are you willing to do the hard way or the easy way and just break up?

35:56 I think Opie likes the hard way because they've been dealing with this for years.

35:59 I think he would take that advice.

36:01 There is an edit.

36:02 Oh my gosh, dude. If he does not, if he doesn't break up with this person, dude, divorce. I think you could divorce and get some because she's been trying to unalive you for the past couple of years. Don't you think so? I call the police on this woman. She keeps putting bread on my remote and I can't watch TV without almost.

36:20 What's crazy is that Opie's partner has issues as well. You think they, you think Opie should play like devil's advocate and be like, all right, two can play this game.

36:29 Yeah, I'm going to take away all your bread so you can't eat it. So I can survive and now you have to eat chicken tendies without the breading.

36:37 Edit. Lots to think about. Thank you all for making me feel a little less crazy for being so exasperated about the cross-contamination issues. My plan is to bring up a 100% gluten-free household and couples therapy this week. I thought GF stood for girlfriend. That was hilarious.

36:53 I'm 100% girlfriend free.

36:55 Yeah. For a while, I thought that was like the girlfriend options on a menu on the restaurant. It's like, oh, girlfriend can have this. Girlfriend can have that.

37:02 So I've let her know I want to talk about gluten-free stuff in the shared spaces in couples therapy after yet another incident where she said she cleaned something, but she didn't. So we'll see where this goes. And we have an update two years later.

37:15 Two years?

37:17 What do we think?

37:18 I feel like he stayed with her.

37:19 Do you think OP's partner is like, cool? You know what? I respect that. I've heard you now. It's been years. But you know what? The flip has been switched for Opie's girlfriend.

37:30 I don't think so. Because time and time again, Opie has been sick on the couch because he's touched bread by accident. And she keeps doing this. This is still a conversation he has to have. And you know what's even more messed up? He needs to have a counselor. He needs to have a mediator every time he brings up these issues with his wife. There's nothing left, dude.

37:51 Update two years later. You all gave me a lot to think about.

37:55 Took you this long to think about it.

37:57 The couples therapist was pretty solid in moderating the conversation. I brought up how cross-contact prevention wasn't being followed consistently. And my spouse jumped in with the I'm doing my best. You're asking too much line. And I said that if this was truly her best, then we needed another solution to keep me from getting sick so frequently. Which was either a fully gluten-free kitchen or living separately.

38:22 Why are you Why are you still with this woman? Trying your best? Literally, it just takes you ten more seconds to do one more task.

38:31 This better be a breakup. So, you all helped me see that I wasn't asking for too much. And seeing how she would rather I get gluten regularly than wash your hands and wipe away the crumbs changed something in me. As you can imagine, this was only one of many relationship issues. I am relieved to report that we are divorced.

38:50 Thank goodness.

38:51 It's in the bread.

38:52 You know... The day after all this happened and he sat down and watched TV, he didn't have to have a second thought on if he's going to get sick while touching this remote.

39:01 In one more week, I will have my own apartment fully gluten-free. Took you years. If my partner said, I'm doing my best and I'm still getting affected, obviously your best is not good enough.

39:16 No, I mean, that's just an excuse at that point. I don't think she's actually doing much.

39:22 And that's the end of this story. we're going to go on to the next one.

39:25 Rain ruined my engagement venue, but my fiance's family turned on my parents.

39:31 That's a whole lot of issues right there. I, 26.

39:34 Female, recently got engaged to someone through an arranged marriage setup. Before the engagement, there were already a few concerns, but my parents felt the family was good overall, but we decided to go ahead. 15 log expense and engagement. We invited 20 people. The groom's side invited 80 plus people. Also, the guy earns one fourth of my salary. Engagement venue was booked and shown to the groom's family beforehand. They were happy with it. Unfortunately, On the actual day, everything started going wrong because of the heavy rain.

40:10 It's a terrible day for rain.

40:12 The venue suddenly had no proper electricity backup. We had to fight with the management to arrange a generator and water supply issues that we were completely unaware of beforehand. My family had been at the venue since morning trying to fix everything. We had booked 12 rooms for the groom's family because they were coming from another city. When we found out about the water issues, we immediately arranged rooms at another hotel that had running water. Instead of staying there, they booked another hotel themselves. They were supposed to arrive much earlier, but reached our city around 5 p.m., even though the ceremony was supposed to start at around 6 p.m., which delayed everything further. By the way, this

40:56 comes from affectionatefold69, and if you listen to me on stories, you know where to go. I'm Riley.

41:03 I'm Keon.

41:04 I'm Sophia.

41:04 And we're going to read this arranged marriage story very goofily. If you have anything you'd like to add to this, please do. I'm curious. Opie says, from that point on, the atmosphere became very tense. During the pre-wedding shoot, my fiance's mother kept making passive-aggressive comments about how badly everything was managed. Later, my fiance's younger brother made a comment along the lines of, there's no water upstairs or downstairs.

41:30 Should we carry our crap in our hands? He now says he was saying this to the venue manager, but my father genuinely felt as if it was directed at him and was deeply hurt. Question. Do we think the universe is trying to tell us something right now?

41:46 I think Mother Nature is trying to be like, hey, let's show you the truth here.

41:51 Maybe this wasn't meant to be. Maybe something's not supposed to happen today.

41:55 I don't know. Some people think rain could be lucky.

41:58 My mother finally told my fiancé' s parents that regardless of the venue problems, nobody should speak to her husband like that. After that, my fiancé' s mother became even more angrier.

42:10 I like how angry they get. Did they bring the rain? Do they control the weather?

42:17 She refused to participate in the dances we had prepared, kept saying she wanted to leave, complained that the food wasn't hot enough, It was served very late because the ceremony itself had been delayed and continue expressing how insulted she felt. Also later, even when she decided to dance, nobody cared that no one from my side of the family was there. It was always about them. Even during the ring exchange, not much heed was paid to my side of the family.

42:46 Meanwhile.

42:47 My mother apologized multiple times, even folding her hands, despite the fact that these venue issues were genuinely outside of our control. Nothing seemed to make a difference. Can we take back an arranged marriage at this point?

43:01 I would.

43:02 Can you? Is that against the rulebook? Because in India, I know it's hard to get divorced.

43:07 But, like, we haven't gotten married just yet. Like, we're right there at the finish line. So.

43:14 What hurt me the most was that throughout all of this, I felt like there was very little empathy shown towards my parents, who had been running around all day trying to fix problems they hadn't created. My fiance wasn't rude to me, but I also didn't feel like he really stood up for my family during the situation. Opie says, after thinking about everything, I decided to end the engagement and blocked him and his family.

43:39 Rain, rain, go away, take away my ex-fiance's family away.

43:43 Yay!

43:45 So you can do that.

43:47 I feel like that was the best for everyone. I feel like your mom, your dad, they're like, yeah, we are not against that idea, honestly. Just do it.

43:55 So I know the venue problems were real, and I understand they had reasons to be upset, but I couldn't stop thinking that if this is how they react to one unexpected crisis before we're even married, what would happen after marriage when bigger problems inevitably come up? So now I have blocked the guy from all platforms as his mother was very rude to everyone in my family. She was also shouting about the entire venue. saying, how could you say anything about my younger son? And said, I am highlighted as Tez. Tez.

44:27 Tez.

44:28 Highlighted as Tez. That is probably an offensive thing, she said to you. What does Tez mean? The word Tez can have different meanings depending on the language. In Persian and Urdu, it means fast, sharp, or bright. While in Turkish, it means quick or agile. In Hebrew... It would link to the meaning to lift up. So I'm thinking in Urdu, it means fast or sharp. Highlighted as Tez, she's probably saying she's a quick woman.

44:54 And that's the end of this story. We're gonna go on to the next one.

44:58 My boyfriend offered my house to his friend without even asking me. That's a surprise move. I, 26 female, own a house and my boyfriend, 23 male, lives with me. I don't ask him to pay anything to live there. I should, but I'm financially stable enough to do it on my own. Now our friend is undergoing construction in their home and my boyfriend volunteered them to move in with us without asking me first. I said, yeah, that's fine, but I'm going to charge him $ 250 for him to stay with us per month. That will be for an extra cable box I will need to get $ 25 per month.

45:34 the water, electricity, etc. He's staying until November and I think it's completely fair. My boyfriend said no, we shouldn't be charging him anything because he needs a place to stay and he wouldn't expect to pay anything if roles reversed. I've expressed how I'm not okay with this, but there's no reasoning. So Reddit, I've come to you. Am I being unreasonable for wanting to charge living expenses for two months?

45:58 Or should I give up the battle?

46:00 Edit.

46:00 Holy crap.

46:01 Inbox. I've totally realized I need to grow an effing backbone and stand up for myself. And this behavior is not acceptable. I am going to draft up a rental agreement for both parties. By the way, this comes from Kay Sawyer. And if you want to see my own stories, you know where to go. I'm Riley.

46:18 I'm Matt.

46:18 We're going to read this goofily like we already are. If you have anything you'd like to add, please add down below.

46:22 Edit.

46:22 You guys, I was just told this person is moving in tomorrow. I am leaving work right now to go home and talk to my boyfriend. I'm so irate right now. I will update in a few hours. Comments. Mash2 says, I am... being unreasonable for wanting to charge living expenses for two months?

46:42 No.

46:42 It would be one thing if your boyfriend owned the house with you. As it is, he offered up your property as if he owns it himself. Let's see the lease agreement. I want to see his name on it.

46:53 Tomorrow they're coming in? That's just insanity.

46:58 Obie says, that's kind of what I was thinking. I'm not asking a lot of money, but I'm assuming the bills and living expenses will go up for the next few months with an additional person living here. Jinxyjrpyjrp says, how old is your boyfriend? I ask because if they're both 23, your place is about to become a frat house and you'll be the chaperone. Oh, who is also going to be on the hook for any and all damages?

47:22 I'd say 250 bucks is effing charity. Your boyfriend best stop threatening you like what's yours is his and kiss your butt for providing a roof over his head. That's your right. You're the provider. Opie says his friend is 27. His friend also owns a house. He's going through construction. I get that. But like if they were married, different story.

47:43 They're not.

47:43 I feel like the friend owning a house should be like, hey, I feel bad, like just taking advantage of it. Let me pay you at least a little bit like as a responsible homeowner and friend, like I'd don't want to put you out for helping me. Because then that makes me a bad person and makes, if I need help in the future, you're not going to want to help me.

48:03 Goats is my copilot says, grow a spine girl and tell your boyfriend his friend cannot live in your house and neither can he until he contributes a little bit. Does he even have a job? Does he do stuff around the house? Why are you fine with this arrangement? We're getting some answers here. This is what I've wanted.

48:21 OP says, he does have a job. and helps around the house when I ask. Things like handiwork and mowing, etc. I'm just in different about it. I've brought it up before, like I would like an extra little help, but he says that he cannot afford it too.

48:36 Brother, you're living there rent-free and you have a job. Like, you're not saving anything?

48:40 Yeah.

48:40 You're not putting any bit away? You don't pay any bills?

48:43 Like.

48:43 Yep, I'm right there beside you, buddy.

48:45 At this point, girl, scrap the boyfriend. Get a new one. You could find another one very easily. I mean, like, we'd be very grateful for this opportunity, but we're taken.

48:54 Yes, we would be.

48:55 But, like, get someone who knows the value of cheap rent in this economy.

49:00 Panda Jink says, how long have you and your boyfriend been living together slash dating? and he feels no need to chip in. Opie says we've been together for four years now. Update three days later. Four years together, Matt. How long have you been with your partner?

49:13 Uh, it's going to be two years going on September 3rd, which is nine, three. Cause nine is divisible by three as stated by Bob's burgers. That's why we chose it. But even like, we've only been dating for this long. And like, not yet. We're, we're hoping to sometime in hopefully December, but like when that happens, like Yeah, I don't think we'll be paying quite 50-50 just yet. But she knows that she's contributing. I know that I'm going to contribute. And that way we both feel like we're invested in our relationship. We're invested in the place we live.

49:42 He doesn't pay for the house. He's not going to pay for the bills. He's not going to pay for damages. So he's got no investment in keeping the place nice.

49:49 He's also 23. He just got out of college. That's just out of college age.

49:53 That's frat house life. Like they said, that's frat life. I've been to frat houses. They're not clean. They're very sticky.

49:59 Oh, sticky. Update three days later. So when I left you all a couple of days ago, I was on my way home to talk with my boyfriend due to the fact I just found out that his friend was moving in the next day. Well, excuse my language, but crap the fan. I probably didn't react as calmly as I should have, but my emotions were running pretty high that day. When I originally made the post, I wasn't aware of what was really going on. With my relationship, you all had opened my eyes and made me realize that I was getting taken advantage of financially and And emotionally.

50:36 Oh.

50:37 I did get a little hint of the emotional stuff.

50:39 I wonder why he's so adamant about them staying there for free. I think, is there something that OP doesn't know is going on? Like, is there some cheating there? Is there some maybe, you know. Both dudes.

50:50 Does he have a beard?

50:51 Are you the beard?

50:52 Or, like, are they doing, like, some backhanded, like, side hustles that it'd be easier if they were working together in the same.

50:58 Holy, you have so many conspiracies here. This guy's mischievous in your eyes. He's no good man.

51:04 Look, he's pushing too hard for this. He's pushing for it.

51:07 He's cutting costs. Yeah, no, no, you're right.

51:09 Look, like 250 is not a lot, but it's income into the household that they could use. Like, who are you to deny $ 250? But also like, no, they're staying with us in a discussion. No, they're not paying any rent. No, they're going tomorrow. Man is trying to streamline his business.

51:24 I agree.

51:24 Good point. I let my boyfriend know that it wasn't fair for me to foot the bill for the mortgage and utilities by myself. We're in a partnership. He got very, very angry that I would accuse him of using me for money and being a freeloader. I asked him if he thought that was fair to me. And I put myself in his shoes. I laid out what I paid for a month for all the bills, which is kind of shocking that I'm able to do this all by myself.

51:50 He lost it and asked why I was even with him if I thought all of this stuff about him. And then he left. Can't have an actual adult conversation. He is 23. He's... basically grown out of teenage years.

52:03 He's out into the world for the very first time and surprise, it's hard out there. But also like, brother, you locked into a golden opportunity.

52:11 He's too young to know that. He just came out of his parents' house. He's been in college for a while. He went from parents' house to girlfriend's house. Parents' house to college dorm to girlfriend's house. That's my assumption. He knows no better. He doesn't think he has to pay for where he lives.

52:22 Oh, it's going to be a cruel, cruel awakening when he gets that first rent payment.

52:26 I received a text from him last night, Sunday, stating how sorry he was and how he would start helping me out. Someone kicked him in the arse.

52:34 I don't trust him.

52:35 I told him that he needs to prove to me that he will actually follow through. I am not just going to forgive him and have things go back to the way they were. So I'm not sure if that's the update y'all all were looking for. but I did stand up for myself and that felt great. Thank you all for the words of encouragement. I could have not done it without a little nudge from Reddit.

52:57 Edit.

52:58 A lot of you are asking about his financial state. We're making the same amount of money, which isn't a whole lot, but he does have a good.

53:07 And he's not paying for the house.

53:10 You're paying mortgage, electrical bill, the water bill, the state tax for your house, property tax, insurance, Wi-Fi, cable. I just listed eight things. Repairs. You probably have your own car, your own car insurance. Eleven things right there.

53:26 Also, like if there's an HOA homeowners, like HOA fees, those are expensive.

53:30 It's like, and you're doing all that on your end and he can't help with a third.

53:35 Also, what happened with the people staying over? Is that really the end of it?

53:39 I think she's shut it down or said it's either this or not. That's my assumption. I might go check for an update after this, but comments. I'm the Dan says, were you happy? You could have calmly talked to him about paying his share. Obie says, just to clarify, I did not break up with him. We've been together for four years. However, I realize our current living situation is not fair. I told him that I would like a little help in our partnership financially for the bills. He said he would, but I'd like to see some sort of commitment to this promise before I let him move back in.

54:11 I like it. This is good.

54:13 Rob Waddle says, what's going on with the friend? Is he going to live there too now? Opie says, no. As of right now, friend has worked out another arrangement. Although the friend did reach out to me. and said he would be more than happy to foot the bill while he lives there, I said I need some time right now before jumping into this situation. OP, you got the backbone. I'm so proud of you.

54:36 For the friends aspect, like, did you, one, did the friend know that it wasn't the boyfriend's house? Two, why didn't you just, like, reach out to OP directly and say, hey, look, like, I would feel, I think I should just pay you for the rent. Like, yeah, free rent is nice, but as someone's friend, I don't ever want to be a freeloader, you know?

54:54 And that's the end of this story. We're going to go on to the next one. Hey, it's Keon, the silliest goose. We're going to get back to the stories, but here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

55:04 I confronted my boyfriend about his resentment and he dropped a shell.

55:09 Oh God, how bad is this one?

55:10 So I, 30 female, met my boyfriend, 28 male, a school teacher, six years ago while I was still a med student. He helped me during my difficult years of my residency and And we had what I thought was a solid relationship. We have similar interests in movies, music, board games. We had some arguments, but they were always resolved through talking. We always have fun together. Now that I had finally finished residency and landed a solid job, we even started looking for a place to move together.

55:37 The thing is, now that I can finally feel that we can start truly enjoying things with a more stable financial situation... And with me having more free time, he seems to resent me? I don't really understand. It started innocent enough with him making some slight remarks about me now being a fancy doctor. when I bought some new, better quality and professional clothes. But the remarks never seemed to stop. We went to a holiday together. I booked a better hotel room than usually because now I can afford one and was very excited about it. And he told me I was showing off my new doctor money.

56:11 I paid for his entrance ticket to a concert to a band we both like. He told me he would prefer we had gone to a local bar. I pay for dinner at a restaurant we always talked about trying in the future. He complains about the size of the portions. Yesterday, I gave him a new shirt. He told me, of course, now I have to be better dressed to be with you.

56:30 By the way, this comes from throwra7million1. And if you want to submit your own stories just like this, go to the r slash OK Storytime subreddit. I am Matt.

56:40 I'm Riley.

56:41 And we're here to be very goofy and give you advice, but not always having the right answers. We just do the best we can. We let you know what we would do and what we think, and we'll see what OP does next. I told him this phrase hurt me, and he told me he was just joking.

56:54 Oh my gosh. If we took a shit today for every time we heard this, I'd be.

57:00 As soon as you get caught.

57:01 I was just joking.

57:01 Okay, well, explain to me how was it funny? Tell me like I'm five, comedian.

57:05 Let's see.

57:05 Let's see what's funny about this.

57:07 No, no, no, no, no, no.

57:07 Where's the punchline?

57:08 Give me.

57:09 Give me the structure of the joke. To which I said, the jokes are supposed to be funny and not hurtful. And he accused me of being too sensitive. I left short after because he refused to talk more about it. I simply do not understand this man. I paid for this thing for him because I wanted to enjoy them with him. And since I can afford them and he can't, it seemed obvious that I could just pay for his part.

57:30 Gift giving is one of my love languages. specifically if this gift is an experience we can have together. Look, I am fully with you on that, OP. I am absolutely a gift giver. A lot of the time it is pride though. Like me and my girlfriend are both gift givers. And I think sometimes I maybe overwhelm her a little bit too much, but she's kind of learned to just accept that I'm going to do this because I'm not trying to like overwhelm her or shame her or anything. Like I just, I saw this. I want you to have it, have it as a gift of my love. It's that simple. But some people like it's a pride thing.

58:02 Like Yeah, I could see that.

58:05 I know for charity and a lot of charities in third world countries, they won't accept it if you just give it to them. So that's why you have to either gamify it for them so that they feel like they've earned it or make them pay for a little bit just to preserve their dignity. There are some charities out here where they won't give things out to the minimal cost, like a couple dollars, like $ 5, $ 10 to go shopping for groceries. And that way it preserves their dignity.

58:27 It doesn't feel like they're accepting a handout. but you are still giving them more than that.

58:31 $ 5 is worth.

58:32 The poor friend doesn't need that, though.

58:34 No, he doesn't. He's just being a little baby. When we started our relationship, it was clear I would be earning more than him someday, me being, at the time, a future medical doctor, and school teachers have profoundly unfair low salaries. He even talked about being a stay-at-home dad. I'm profoundly confused by his current behavior. It seems clear that he resents me and refuses to talk about it.

58:54 At the same time, we've been together for six years. I love him dearly, and I'm hoping it's just a phase. Any advice on how to deal with this? There are a few relevant comments, but what are your relevant comments, Riley?

59:06 Nothing you can do. He needs to reflect and understand what he has.

59:09 Just wild.

59:09 Like I have talked to women who say, I don't, I am weary with the guys I date. Because guys don't like it when I make more than them. To me, I come from a place where most men are the breadwinners.

59:22 Yeah.

59:23 Don't really care if she's making money. Dude, I would love to be a stay-at-home dad. I cannot resonate with these guys.

59:28 No.

59:28 It's hard to.

59:29 It's also like the fact that he was planning on being a stay-at-home dad maybe at one point, and he now can't handle the fact that she's buying things for him. Like, what money would you be buying these things if you were a stay-at-home dad, sir? You know you don't get paid for being a stay-at-home dad, right?

59:41 Yeah.

59:42 Yeah.

59:42 You can't bill somebody for your hours. Like, bill your children. Here, you cared for me for this long.

59:48 On the flip side, though, if you are a stay-at-home dad and the wife's making a lot, you may think, oh, everyone else is accomplishing these things in their careers.

59:54 Right, yeah, yeah.

59:55 But that's why you have a side hobby or somewhere where you can express those things so you can still feel like, oh, I'm getting some stuff done.

1:00:02 Yeah, I see how a lot of men might think it's emasculating, but also, like, your kids will thank you for this and you'll find other returns and validation, I think. you'll get to be there with your kids.

1:00:12 Exactly.

1:00:13 I feel like that's like a great trade-off. Anyway, relevant comments from DaFonz. Why are you making this about money when the real problem is that he doesn't respect you? OP says, I didn't look at that from this perspective. At the moment, all I can think is that a man that was with me through my bad days seems to resent me during my good days, and I don't know why. Update from three days later. The next day, I sent him a message stating that we need to have a conversation about about what happened. I went to his house and told him I was hurt by his comments and specifically by his dismissal of my feelings after.

1:00:45 I said, I understand that the recent shift of dynamics on our relationship could be hard to deal with, but that I loved him and I was really happy about finally being able to buy and do things we spoke about in the past and wanted to share this with him. He apologized for his behavior and told me he was feeling insecure and lashing out because of that. I thought the conversation was going very well and things will be better.

1:01:05 Then he dropped the bomb. Riley, what do you think the is?

1:01:08 I've been cheating on you. No, that's too predictable.

1:01:10 Okay.

1:01:11 I don't know, that's what comes to my head. He's been cheating.

1:01:13 He cheated with another teacher from his school. He explained that the guilt over this was also making him behave strangely. He told me he was feeling less worth and another woman wanting him helped him feel better, helped his self-esteem. It was just one time and it was a mistake that he loved me and wanted to be better. I just stood there. I didn't even know how to react.

1:01:32 Cheating is a deal breaker for me and I told him this at the beginning of our relationship. I thought he understood that. I thought he was the one. I think he noticed my initial lack of reaction. because he implored me to say something. In the end, I just thanked him for his sincerity and told him we were over.

1:01:47 As you should. Simple as that.

1:01:48 You gave him the one rule. Yeah. Couldn't do that. He started crying and begging for forgiveness, telling me I was the love of his life and other things that, to be truthful, I didn't really pay attention to because all I wanted at the moment was to leave his house and never see him again. I moved to the door and he tried to block me. That was when I got angry. I don't remember exactly what I said, but I made it clear I would not tolerate cheating.

1:02:11 And he broke my trust, so that was it. I was breaking up with him.

1:02:15 The end.

1:02:16 I was so angry, I was shaking. And I'm proud that I managed to control myself enough not to yell. I just wanted to be clear with my intentions. There is another relevant update, but, um... It makes all of this crystal clear. Why he was saying those things. How he was going about it.

1:02:33 Yep.

1:02:33 It's a tough thing.

1:02:34 In the end, I think he was just a small man who couldn't handle not being the provider.

1:02:38 Yeah.

1:02:39 And didn't feel like... Couldn't handle all that. He couldn't handle a good thing. It had to be like, I'm the man. I got to do all the work.

1:02:46 No, you don't. Dude, sometimes you won.

1:02:48 Just accept that you won.

1:02:49 Yeah. Accept it.

1:02:50 Good things can happen to you without you having to bust your butt working for them, you know?

1:02:55 Exactly.

1:02:55 He throws us wild. Get me out of here, Matt.

1:02:59 All right, let's take it home. Let's take it home. So that was it.

1:03:02 He wouldn't stop messaging with the excuses and with the angriness. But the final straw was a text saying how I was throwing away a six year relationship over a mistake.

1:03:11 Oh, brother, you're a less than a minute mistake.

1:03:14 Oh, that's a burn. Also, brother, you threw it away. I told him that he was the one who threw away the relationship and that I would be mailing him his things. Mailing. Oh, that's cold. He can't even come and get them. He's got to mail it.

1:03:27 It's cold.

1:03:28 Then I blocked him.

1:03:29 I'll now have to search for a place to take some tests that have different staff from the ones from my hospital. I don't want gossip about me. I have to take some time for me. And then I guess I'll be back at the dating market at 30. That'll be fun.

1:03:40 Sigh.

1:03:41 Honestly, no, 30 is not that bad. Depending on honestly, what your country and the norms like.

1:03:45 Yeah.

1:03:46 30 is not bad. Like a lot of people, especially after it happened, like the 30s became the new 20s. And a lot of people are like dating in their 30s. Like my girlfriend was 30 when we got together. Well, 31, she was 31 and I was 29. So we were right about that age. So it's like, it's not.

1:04:00 How does it feel dating a cougar?

1:04:02 It's kind of great, actually. There's no pressure.

1:04:04 I used to date one. She was two years older than me.

1:04:06 That's not even that bad. Like two years is not, is nothing.

1:04:09 Yeah, it didn't work out.

1:04:10 I'm sorry.

1:04:11 It's okay.

1:04:12 But it's like, there's like.

1:04:12 No, I'm happy now. I'm with my girlfriend.

1:04:14 Yeah.

1:04:14 I'm the cougar.

1:04:16 But yeah, it's just, it's not a bad thing, you know? And continuing, sorry for the lack of a happy ending, but I suppose that's life. The top comment, dude could have had a nice cushy life and he fumbled it. At least OP is free to find someone who appreciates her in her career now. And we appreciate you sticking with us because that was the end of that story.

1:04:36 These people are crazy. You don't know what you have.

1:04:40 It's so common for people. I thought usually this is like a fiction thing, but it's like the character throws away happiness. Like they don't allow themselves to be happy.

1:04:49 Yeah.

1:04:50 Wild insanity.

1:04:53 And that's the end of this story.