My best friend is secretly fixated on her ex, and it’s way out of hand! | Reddit Stories | EP3094

0:00 Hey, this is Dakota.

0:01 And this is Riley, your favorite OK Storytime host. And we got some great stories coming up.

0:05 But before that, we have a quick two-minute break from the sponsors that keep this show alive.

0:10 My best friend is secretly obsessed with her ex, and it's way out of hand. Oh no, what is she doing? I, 24 female, have a best friend, Kimberly, 23 female, that I've known since preschool.

0:24 Kimberly?

0:25 Sure it's not Nikki?

0:26 Kim.

0:27 Oh, Kimmy.

0:28 Inseparable ever since. She's like the sister I've never had, etc. You get the picture. Anyways, Kimberly has had a few boyfriends over the years, but her first serious one, first love, was Kyle. They met senior year in college. They were nuts so crazy about each other. I became friends with Kyle by association. He's a pretty good dude and I liked him for my friend. They were together for almost two years when Kimberly broke up with him.

0:55 No!

0:56 It wasn't over anything scandalous or terrible. It was just basic but insurmountable incompatibility.

1:04 Wow.

1:04 That's a big word for middle schoolers.

1:06 Insurmountable incompatibility.

1:08 Crazy. Were they in middle school? I thought they met in college. No, college.

1:12 Wow, that's a big word for college.

1:15 That's why I never went.

1:17 One wants kids, the other is child-free, and they both have very different spicy sleep drives. Even though Kimberly initiated the breakup, she was absolutely crushed and devastated. Welcome to the club, girl. She had wanted to marry Kyle, and he wanted to marry her, but realized it would never work in the long run, and better to end it now than drag it out for years or get married and then get divorced. I was proud of her, but I hurt right along with her. It was just a sad and crappy situation because both of them are good people, just not right for each other. It messed her up bad and took her a very long time to recover from.

1:51 Almost a year later, Kimberly cautiously decided to go on a date with the guy she met at a rock climbing gym.

1:59 Someone finally take our advice and go to the rock climbing gym. Let's see where this leads.

2:06 Rock climbing gyms and running clubs.

2:08 Yeah.

2:09 Except for the ones of the running clubs might get away.

2:12 Too quick for you.

2:14 The other ones climb away. They climb just to.

2:17 Get away from you. Yeah, one can sprint and one can scramble.

2:21 One can parkour.

2:23 They hit it off.

2:24 Sparks flew, and they have now been dating almost three months. I am very happy for my friend. I haven't met her new boyfriend yet, but he seems to be very good for her. It's the first time since the breakup that I've seen her truly happy and smiling again, and I thought, at long last, she was finally over Kyle.

2:41 Until three days ago. By the way, this comes from ToodlesMcGee93, and if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit. I'm Savannah.

2:50 I'm Dakota. I'm Riley.

2:52 And we're here to talk about some stuff, give some advice, but we don't have all your answers.

2:56 We're only going to tell you.

2:56 What we would do. But let us know what you would do in the comments. As Opie says, we were having a girls' night, drinking wine, watching horrible chick flicks, playing Mario Kart, and having lots of girl talk.

3:09 Yeah!

3:11 Honestly, sounds like a fun night.

3:12 We should do that.

3:13 I'd be down.

3:14 I mean, no one's ever asked me. Aw, that's because you're not a girl. Yeah. Aw, dang it.

3:21 But we had a gas night and got comedy and din-tin-fung.

3:25 And din-da-who?

3:26 Din-ting-fung.

3:28 Din-ting-fing.

3:30 That's crazy. Din-tai-fung? Din-tai-fung.

3:33 Din-tai-fung. He went din-ti-fing.

3:35 Din-ti-fing is what he just said.

3:37 Din-ting-fing. Din-tai-fung.

3:39 And she mentions, after a couple glasses, how even though she is super happy with her new boyfriend, she just can't stop logging into Kyle's Facebook account. He has his Facebook account? I was like, eh. What are you talking about? Kimberly says she still has Kyle's Facebook password and she has been logging into his Facebook. I can't remember if they blocked each other or just unfriended each other after the breakup for a year sometimes to see what he's up to.

4:05 Oh my gosh. I'm going to see when this was posted.

4:10 I know people who are like this, truthfully.

4:13 Okay, this was nine days ago.

4:14 It doesn't end well.

4:16 Nine days ago.

4:17 Wait, wait, wait. That's bad. Wait, wait, wait.

4:18 So the original post was 2017.

4:21 Oh.

4:21 Were a lot of people on Facebook in 2017? Because if it was Instagram, I would feel.

4:25 A certain way.

4:25 A lot more, for sure, than are now. Yeah. But Facebook, eh, okay. No, it's more just the principle of like, what? Like, what?

4:34 What?

4:35 Like, why are you doing that?

4:36 But are you on Facebook at all?

4:37 No. See?

4:39 No, but it's... For her, it's like, why would you do that to yourself? Exactly.

4:44 That's what I'm saying. It's like, yeah, now you know. Now I can obsess about it for another three hours.

4:49 Right.

4:49 Like, it's just... Don't get into that habit. Of course you're interested and... Or interested.

4:55 I mean, yeah, interested. And it's like you log into his Facebook just to see what he's up to, but it's like you could look at all of his messages. You're seeing who he's talking to. Like, what are you checking? You're just checking his photos? Yeah.

5:05 He's not on Facebook, though. Not a lot of guys are. Now, if it was Instagram, a whole different story.

5:09 Well, he is on it.

5:10 Is the Facebook connected to the metaverse?

5:13 No, this is when Facebook was still, like, more alive than it is now.

5:17 Oh, okay.

5:18 For, I guess, people in our age range. I see. I see.

5:21 I immediately told her what she's doing is super shady and creepy for one, and two, is kind of disloyal to her current boyfriend. Kimberly got kind of defensive and said she didn't agree, that it's harmless, and she just wanted to see what is going on with Kyle sometimes without having to talk to him directly. So stalking him is better.

5:40 Yeah, so there's nothing wrong with that. What do you mean?

5:43 I just want to know what he's doing, but I don't want to talk to him.

5:45 It's not like I still have cameras in his house. I took those out. You know?

5:50 I would be checking every teddy bear she gave me.

5:52 She also said that in the beginning, she was logging in way too much, almost daily. But over time, she has slowly scaled back, and ever since she met her boyfriend, he only logs in a few times a month. Girl, you have another guy! Like, you got another boyfriend.

6:07 Yeah, get his Facebook.

6:08 I just don't understand. Like, I don't know.

6:12 You just gotta know when you're over someone, that's the time to reach out. You can't, you know, what do they say, like, Get under someone to get over someone.

6:20 Dang. Yeah.

6:22 I don't really believe that that works.

6:25 Me neither.

6:25 Because it's like you can't really heal.

6:27 To get over someone, you must first get under a tree and self-reflect near a body of water.

6:33 Well, I would agree with that. It's not bad advice.

6:38 I told her it's still wrong and she needs to stop it now. How would she feel if her boyfriend was logging into his ex's social media? How would she feel if Kyle was logging into hers? She got flippant and said she wouldn't care. And speaking of which, why did I care so much? Oh my god, this is my sister. Like she does something like stupid and then you call her out and she's like, why do you care so much? Maybe I should mind my own business. Yep, the night was kind of ruined after that. And because Kimberly had been drinking, I told her she could crash on my couch, but I was going to bed. She left in the morning. So here it is three days later and I'm wondering what to do. I'm actually still friends with Kyle on Facebook, and I've been thinking of

7:15 sending him a private message saying something about this. I haven't really figured out the right words, though. On the other hand, I feel disloyal to Kimberly for going behind her back and talking to her ex and ratting her out. Plus, I'm worried that Kyle will rat me out to Kimberly, and our friendship will be jeopardized. It's the last thing I want. Or that Kyle will be weirded out by me or not believe me. We haven't really talked since the breakup, just the occasional, like. on some of each other's statuses and pictures. I'm wondering if this is really even any of my business and if I should just stay out of it altogether and that I'm completely out of line to say anything. There are some relevant comments.

7:54 It's truthfully, it's up to her. But if you want to get in the middle of it, there is going to be some backlash.

8:03 Like, what does she do? Like, no, like, no, no. don't, don't, don't be the one who's like, by the way, did you know she's logging into her ex's Facebook? Yeah. Okay. Is she leaving? Is she leaving him love letters? Like what? I mean, that would be so messy of you to do. That's insane.

8:21 I just, I don't think that you should say anything to anyone. I mean, you've already had the conversation with her.

8:28 It's her life.

8:29 She has to be the one to decide, you know, okay, I'm done with this and whatnot. Yeah.

8:34 You, Keep telling her it's a bad idea and that when he finds out, it's going to be a mess. Okay. All right.

8:42 All right.

8:43 Look, you know how many Facebook scams happen every day?

8:47 No, I'm sure a lot.

8:48 A lot.

8:50 In the year of 2025, $ 794 million.

8:55 Were scammed out of people from Facebook.

8:57 That's crazy.

8:58 Wow.

8:58 Now, let's think a little bit. Who knows Facebook a lot?

9:02 OP.

9:03 OP's friend.

9:04 Kim. Kim.

9:05 Kimberly.

9:06 Kimberly is saving her ex-boyfriend's Kyle money.

9:10 Hmm.

9:12 Simple as that.

9:13 Kind of like the Pythagorean theorem.

9:16 Yes, exactly like that.

9:17 You get C squared from A squared and B squared. Or you get B squared from A squared, C squared. Yeah. Or no, is that?

9:25 No, wait.

9:25 No, no, it's not exactly.

9:27 No, it was the transitive property. Oh, God. Yeah, it's been a while. no that's been a while my bad.

9:33 No but that green theorem was a square plus.

9:35 Yeah but i was thinking of i was not i was anyways transitive property.

9:39 Money is being saved and i don't think we should give kimberly such a hard time.

9:44 I think she's being really obsessive and obnoxious but thing is it's going to catch up with her anyway yeah i mean honestly if if you if op were to be like i'm telling your boyfriend it's like you're an idiot like that's not the line that needs to be drawn there.

10:00 It'd be different if she was like, and I still am obsessed with them. I think about them every day and I'm in love with them. It's like, just whatever. You keep telling her it's dumb. Don't make the mess yourself. Crazy.

10:12 There are some relevant comments. Drinky on martinis, says if you message him, it's very likely she could intercept the message or delete it, and then things will be effed between you guys anyway.

10:24 That's true.

10:24 Yeah, because you might just be sending it to her. Like, he might not even see it. If I were you, I'd sit her down and try again while you're both sober to convince her what she's doing is wrong and that she should stop. OP responds, that's true. I didn't think about that. I think I still have his number somewhere.

10:41 It's just buried deep since we don't talk anymore. I'll see if he's in my contacts or on WhatsApp. I think I will. Both of us had been drinking and emotions were a bit high. I probably could have used a more tactical approach. I kind of just blurted out what I was thinking and may have come across as harsh and judgmental, which probably wasn't productive. I'll shoot her a text and try to have her over for coffee instead of wine and talk about it.

11:07 I don't know.

11:09 You don't have to be very.

11:11 Ooh, let me say this in the right way to my friend who's acting insane.

11:15 But the thing is, the people who are acting insane, you do have to freak them kind of like children, though, because.

11:20 They don't see it. Really? It's the silly baby technique. Yeah. Oh.

11:25 It's like if you just keep yelling at them, obviously she's going to get defensive. I mean, her main thing was also like instead of arguing with her about the actual subject, she always goes back to, well, why is it any of your business? Why do you care so much?

11:37 You know?

11:38 And then it's like, you're right. Maybe I shouldn't care about my best friend.

11:41 Yeah. Oh, you know, it's like a little kid being like, I don't brush my teeth, but it's OK because it's my teeth are fine. They're stronger than everyone.

11:50 And then I'm like, well, no, you have to brush your teeth.

11:52 And they're like, shut up, mommy. Why do you even care? They're not your teeth. They're my teeth. Exactly. That's OK. That's great. No, sure.

11:59 I've been in this argument so many times.

12:01 Oh, my gosh. I know a kid that doesn't brush his teeth and his parents have let him down.

12:06 Sad. Yeah.

12:07 Air Aqua says, just give Kyle heads up to log out of And yeah, you really should reconsider being friends with this girl. I mean, this is a huge invasion of privacy. Your friend has serious issues. What she's doing isn't fair towards Kyle nor towards her current boyfriend. OP responds, I'm not going to stop being friends with her and end a 20 plus year friendship because of this one thing.

12:41 He's like my sister. He probably needs help not being ghosted.

12:44 Yeah, I love how that's just like, yeah, I don't know. This person doesn't seem like they're absolutely perfect. Seems like they're fallible. You should really consider whether or not you want to associate with someone like that. It's like, oh, I've, oh, okay. My best friend of 20 years. Someone on the internet told me I can't like you anymore. Because you did something that's like so, it'd be different if she was like, sending him like, you know, like, like, like explosives in the mail or something. Like she's like trying to ruin his life. Like that's different. But this is just like what she's doing is only really hurting her.

13:18 Yeah, exactly. And she doesn't see it in that way. She's like, well, it's just like, I just like to keep up with him. Like it's, it's routine now.

13:25 It's a part of her week.

13:27 Yeah, it is.

13:29 Air awkward response. People judge you for the friends you keep. And what your friend is doing is extremely effed up. I mean, you've seen how she reacted to you calling her gently out on it. If she can't see that she's clearly in the wrong, what are you going to do? Just ignore it? OP responds, yeah, and she's been an awesome person for the time I've known her. I can't get into the wonderful things she's done for me and others because that's not what the post is about. I don't disagree what she's doing is wrong, but she didn't unalive his dog. Basically what you were saying. I actually have hope for her because she got defensive. That means she knows she's in the wrong. If she was totally apathetic,

14:10 then I'd be worried. And I don't know what I'm going to do. That's why I wrote this post. At this junction, I'm not sure it's my business to do anything except try talking to her again. Thanks for your advice, but I'm not ending a relationship with someone who is basically my family for one bad thing they did. If you could throw away a 20-year friendship for that, well, that's on you, but I'm not. Thanks.

14:31 Yeah, agreed. Agreed.

14:33 Mermaid Tail Blanket says, Technically, and correct me if I'm wrong, but it's not something she did. It is something she does. I wonder how you would feel if this were done to you or your significant other. In my opinion, let him know anonymously that he needs to change passwords this second. No need to tell him why. He'll probably be alarmed enough to oblige. OP responds, I wouldn't feel good at all, but I haven't made the best decisions in life before.

15:00 In fact, people would easily call Kimberly the goody two-shoes out of both of us. If I was doing something like this, I would hope, and no, Kimberly wouldn't just be, you suck, peace out, knucklehead. She'd try to help me first. If, however, I kept being a knucklehead, didn't listen, and mistreated our trust and friendship, then she'd rightfully start reconsidering. That's the boat I'm in. I'll cross that bridge if I come to it, but for now, I only have this one piece of information. I'm going to try and help her or convince her to get help. If she keeps being unreasonable, I'll reconsider the people we've both become.

15:35 Dang. Or just like, you know, keep telling her you're only hurting yourself. But until she starts like being like, I want him back. I still love him. Like, blah, blah, blah. And then even when that happens, you shouldn't just go to her boyfriend and be like, yeah, she said that with her ex. You should tell your friend of 20 years like, hey, dude, like this is clearly like you're not ready to be in a relationship right now. You're still really caught up over your ex. So you should just not be with anyone right now.

16:02 Yeah.

16:02 I mean, the best thing you could do is just like let her ex know, like you should change your Facebook password. Yeah. And that's all literally. And then what? Now she can't log back in. Oops. Yeah.

16:14 But it's actually doing her favor, but she doesn't know that. She thinks that's like an attack on her.

16:21 Yeah.

16:21 Or you can log into the Facebook account a lot of times and it, and it gives them that email like, Hey, This person's tried to get into your account.

16:30 That's happened. Yeah, just get his password wrong.

16:32 You could do that.

16:33 There is an update. Two days later. Oh. So I decided I was going to talk to Kimberly first, sober, before I did anything. I did actually end up finding Kyle's number as a last resort backup in case Kimberly decided there was no way she'd stop. Though Kimberly and I had not talked much since the incident. Very awkward and stiff. So I texted her, hey girl, I miss you.

16:55 I got this awesome new coffee and creamer flavor. You've got to come over and try it. He jumped on it and I had her over. Once we got settled with her coffee, I took the plunge and started by apologizing for coming across as abrupt and judgmental the last time we talked. He seemed really embarrassed and sad and apologized for getting an attitude with me. But I also said, with that being said, while I am sorry about the tone I took, I wasn't sorry about saying what I said.

17:18 She was just really quiet and looking at the floor. I told her I loved her to pieces and wanted what was best for her and that good friends don't enable. They call each other out if they are doing something wrong.

17:30 Exactly.

17:32 Thank you.

17:33 Exactly. And that is not... Notice how she did not say real friends tattle on each other and create big messes. Yeah. They say they keep it real.

17:43 Yeah. They want what's best for you. If you're doing something wrong and hurtful for yourself, then... You know, I don't want to see you like this. I want to see you happy with this new relationship you've been in. I want you to give all your energy to that, not to the past, you know? And what she was doing was really, really messed up. And that I was going to give her one chance, just one, to put a stop to it. So if she did not message Kyle telling him to change his passwords, I would do it for her. At first, she got really upset with me and started to get angry and rage, but I told her there was a reason she told me her secret because deep down she knows what she's doing is wrong and I think she was asking for help but

18:19 didn't know how to because she can't stop. Ooh.

18:22 Philosophy. I know if she doesn't know the password anymore, it can't continue.

18:31 She just starts crying and crying and crying. She said she was so sick of I mean, for Kyle. She was still in love with him. She couldn't stop thinking about him, wishing for him, even though she knew they were not meant to be. She just wanted to stop having these feelings. That her boyfriend helped numb the pain a bit or distracted her for it, but it always came back. Dang. And she logged in just to be near him again to see if he was happy, if he missed her at all, etc. She knew it was really bad, but I was right and she couldn't stop.

19:00 I just let her cry it out. Then I told her if she wanted to make an anonymous account... or text him from an anonymous number, she could. Or if she wanted me to take care of it altogether, I would. She said no. She was mortified and felt horrible, but she wanted to. But could I please help her and be with her as she did it? So she sent Kyle the following message, helped worded by me. Hey, Kyle, sorry to bother you. I just realized I haven't really updated our passwords to our social media stuff since last year and thought it might be a good idea to change them for myself and that you might want to as well. Basically, so she didn't have to come right out and say it, but Kyle would have been a fool not to pick up on what she was really

19:39 trying to say.

19:40 I wouldn't know what she was trying to say.

19:42 Yeah, I just heard it and I don't even know what she was trying to say.

19:46 Well, she's saying like, hey, we both share each other's passwords, but I feel like we probably shouldn't have them anymore now that we're not together.

19:54 She should have just said that.

19:56 I got it.

19:58 I don't speak girl lingo, I guess. If my ex sent me that, my direct thought is, oh my gosh, there's a scammer out there. There's someone trying to get my stuff. Someone's trying to hack into, okay, story time, what's happening.

20:10 He texted back within 20 minutes. Hey there, duly noted. Thanks for the heads up. I then told her to delete the text and block the number. I took her out shopping and while walking, I said there is no shame in seeing a therapist to help with her grief and could give her the start to the relief she wants from hurting over Kyle. I offered to help her schedule an appointment. Long story short, we found a sliding scale therapist through our alma mater and she has an appointment next week. That night, just to see if Kyle got the hint, I sat with her as she attempted to log into his account to see if he took the hint. Password didn't work. She cried hard, but said it was for the best and thanked me for helping her.

20:49 Yeah. All right. So I think girly pop might need to be single. I don't know.

20:54 Yeah, I think she needs to break up with a boyfriend because he truthfully is just a rebound. And I hate that for people. I mean, there's Rodman.

21:04 Dennis Rodman, notorious rebounder.

21:07 Yeah, this guy is just a rebound. And I feel bad.

21:11 He's just a statistic. Yeah, I feel bad.

21:15 And I know, like, sometimes it takes, you know, someone else. But truthfully, you only ever really... be completely happy if you take the time to really figure out why you feel the way you do and make it a whole big deal to why this is going to connect you to, you know, maybe some past trauma or whatever. I say take the therapist way. They help. They know what they're doing.

21:38 They're there for a reason. Why not?

21:40 You know, get the help you need.

21:42 Why wouldn't you get the help you need and deserve? Why not? Anyways, there's a little bit left. That pretty much sums it up. I'm going to be there for my friend and be a sounding board and support as she starts to really process her grief. I'm really happy that we both solved the Facebook crap and she has an appointment with a professional to get a.

21:59 Start on things.

22:00 For my advice, she's going to take things one day at a time with the new boyfriend and just enjoy him in the moments she has with him. If she finds herself using him as purely a coping mechanism, becoming codependent, or she assesses in two to three months she doesn't feel in love with him or she's not over Kyle, She will let him go and give herself time being single, trying a new hobby, and keeping up with the therapist.

22:23 No.

22:23 It needs to happen now. Love is a drug, and she's just numbing the pain with this new drug.

22:29 I mean, if you went to your partner and you just were, like, really transparent, like, hey, I gotta admit that I've realized that I'm actually still not over my ex, but I'm trying to really take the steps to be. And I like you, and I don't know if you still want to date me knowing that, but if you do...

22:47 You know, we can. But I also don't think it'd be a bad idea to be single. It just depends on what you want, what you think you want.

22:53 Yeah, I agree. Well, that's the end of that story. And we got another one coming right up.

22:57 My boyfriend demanded I stop eating cucumbers because it's too much for him.

23:03 What does that even mean?

23:04 This is perhaps the most bizarre am I the a-hole post I've ever written, but I'm honestly so confused. Like I feel like I can't possibly be the a-hole, but then sometimes people are too blind to see their own flaws, so maybe I really am. For as long as I can remember, I've had this work, I guess you could call it, that I never snack on anything other than cucumber.

23:26 I shouldn't say never, technically, since socially I'll get ice cream or eat a few chips at a party. I'm not a picky eater by any means, but my snack of choice has always been cucumber. I think they have a name for that. I can't, it's like, Like the girl who, well, I guess she would only ever eat ramen, but it feels like a variation of that.

23:46 Now I really want cucumber sandwiches. I gotta remember that.

23:51 I eat pretty healthy anyway, so a lot of fruits and veggies are part of my diet. Since veggies are lower in calories, I have to eat a lot of them to eat enough, so I'll usually have some sliced cucumber in my purse. that I munch on throughout the day. And I'll always have a cucumber in my car that I just eat whole when I'm driving. I go through several cucumbers a day. I don't know.

24:15 I find that a bit strange.

24:16 Yeah, but it's probably really good for you.

24:18 Yeah, I mean, they're very low in calories, if any.

24:22 Has anyone heard the Cucumba song? No. Cucumba is this guy he would sing. Cucumba. Vitamins, minerals, great hydrator. Don't be a, like he had a whole cucumber like wrap. Yeah. But it was more like a, it was more like a jig, you know, like, I don't know. Cucumba. And he called it Cucumba. Cucumba. That makes it better. Although it's not healthy. I've had days where I felt really depressed and overwhelmed and have binge eaten nothing but cucumbers.

24:54 Is that not healthy? It seems like the healthiest thing you could ever binge eat, right? It's mostly water.

24:58 Read the next sentence.

25:00 I think I've eaten perhaps 35 on very extreme days.

25:02 35 cucumbers?

25:05 I mean, if you space that out.

25:08 I mean, I guess it's better than eating like 35 bags of chips or 35 donuts.

25:11 But like.

25:15 Anything excessive, healthy or unhealthy is not good.

25:18 I mean, that's like. Moderation. Come on. That's like two cucumbers an hour if you sleep for six hours.

25:25 That's crazy. Are they like the mini cucumbers?

25:28 Are they like big?

25:30 They have to be the big guys.

25:32 What's to say? I would have to.

25:34 It has to be the big guys.

25:35 By the way, this comes from a deleted user who's too shamed of their cucumbering. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit. I'm Dakota. I'm Savannah. I'm Riley. We're going to read this cucumber caper. And we're going to have our delicious, nutritious thoughts about it. And you can have yours, too.

25:52 Just know we don't know everything. So comment what you think down below. Recently, this quirk has begun to drive my 22 female boyfriend, 33 male.

26:04 Wait, I was waiting for those in the beginning and now I'm getting them? Okay, wait, 22 female, and then what was the boyfriend?

26:13 33, which is a lot.

26:16 Which is just 11 years.

26:18 It feels like the difference between 11 and 22, if I'm being honest. Ooh. Because it is the exact same number of years. Oh, yeah. It's weird. We've been dating for six months, and it's driving him insane. His words, not mine. He says it's highly inappropriate to carry them everywhere with me. Inappropriate? We spent last weekend at his parents' lake house and I provided my own cucumber to snack on.

26:42 One night before bed, I was in my room gnawing on a cucumber like a savage when his mother walked in. Under normal circumstances, I would never eat like that around others. I would slice it up. And she was puzzled, but she chuckled and said, My, you do like cucumber.

26:59 His mom probably said something to him for sure. My mom would.

27:03 My mom would be like, Oh my God, what are you doing? My boyfriend later told me that I humiliated him with my childish and immature eating habits.

27:13 I mean, well, for that instance, the mom comes into the room and you're on a cucumber. Yeah, it is a little weird, but I don't know.

27:23 What if they just was a what? What if it was a carrot? And you're like Bugs Bunny. You just eat a carrot.

27:28 Any nine on anything I feel like would be that's like a very vulnerable moment.

27:34 I guess, in my head, I took gnawing as, like, just kind of colorful language. But if we do take that literally, and, like, she's in there eating the cucumber, like... And, like, someone just walks in, like... And you're mid, like... Like, there's, like, you know.

27:52 All the little pieces on you.

27:55 You've got, like, the evidence of your savagery all over, like, your shirt.

27:59 You're deuce-growing your....

28:02 Like, yeah, then I can see, like, maybe. And she goes, my, you do like it. Oh, my. Daughter. That's the only way this could be a problem, dude. I told him his mom caught me in a low moment and that he was being ridiculous because he eats a bag of chips every day and I don't bat an eye. He told me that chips were a normal snack and whole cucumbers were deranged.

28:27 Oh, well, that's just rude. And there was no need for that comment at all.

28:31 I wonder if you just took like a random selection of people. You showed them the process that it takes to make a chip versus the process it takes to make a cucumber. Which one is actually more deranged of a snack, right? He told me I needed to stop eating cucumbers and that my behavior was becoming a deal breaker for him. I feel really bothered, but I think cucumbers are a weird hill to just you know, make my last stand on. I don't want to lose my relationship.

28:57 Am I the a-hole? Hmm.

28:59 I think it is a little obsessive. I don't think that makes you an a-hole, though. It's not like it's, you know, becoming an issue where, like, you know, like, it's not like you're, like, leaving them anywhere or there's, like, a mess or, like, you're doing it in inappropriate places. Like, you are, like, literally... in your room and the mom walked in.

29:18 So it's like, you know, it's it's less of a thing about like the cucumbers being like where you make your last stand. But it's more like the principle of if you widen the you widen the umbrella and it's not just you don't eat. But cucumbers are too weird is what he said. You eat cucumbers and it's weird.

29:34 You have to stop I can't take it. And I'll apply that to, oh, your favorite music. Why don't you like normal music? Your music's so weird. If you keep listening to that music, I don't... And it's like, that's the principle. It's just, you like cucumbers. Yeah.

29:50 And it's not like it's becoming a problem to where you need to... Like, constantly, like, be nine on one or something.

29:56 If you were eating 35 every day, I'd say, okay.

29:58 Yes.

29:59 I'd be like, hmm.

30:01 Let's examine. First, let's go to a doctor. Make sure that's not actually bad for you. Because it just might be. But, yeah, dude.

30:09 It is a little weird.

30:10 Not gonna lie. If you were, like, dipping, like, pickles in caramel, I'd be like, he's got a point. Okay? That's maybe, save that.

30:18 Sounds delish.

30:19 Make that a little treat every now and then. Yummy. And there's an ad ad.

30:23 Hey, this is Riley, your favorite Southern belle. We're going to get back to these stories, but here's three minutes worth of ads.

30:29 From our sponsors. I'd just like to add that my boyfriend has never expressed any issue with my cucumber habits before now. The incident in question was because around 8 p.m. I was getting really hungry and I don't know his family super well, so I didn't want to go rummaging or ask for a snack. And I didn't want to bother them by asking for a cutting board or something to cut up my cucumber because of, well, mild social anxiety.

30:51 So I shut myself in the guest room and figured I'd just snack on a cucumber quickly. I don't usually go hide and eat cucumbers. Sounds like you do, though. Sounds like you would.

31:02 Sounds like you are currently.

31:04 Exactly what someone who doesn't want people to know they hide and eat cucumbers would say. But then his mom walked in looking for my boyfriend, presumably, and she was a little surprised, but seemed amused and not upset or anything. I honestly didn't think it would turn into such a big deal for him. And there is an update. So you were caught eating the cucumber in shame.

31:25 And mommy noticed. And now I'm like the whole thing with this. He probably was like, oh, that's weird. You know, but now that someone else has seen it, he feels the need to correct it. But it's like, you know, truthfully, if you don't have a problem with it, this is what she's doing. It's not affecting your life in any way.

31:42 Fine. She just likes cucumbers. Yeah. What I'm more confused about is why you so like you harbor such a deep hatred for cucumbers. Yeah. Like what? Like, are you secretly a cat?

31:54 Yeah. They do hate cucumbers.

31:58 You've seen that, right? No, no, no. The cats despise... Cucumbers scare them.

32:07 They love rectangles.

32:08 They think it looks like snakes.

32:09 And they hate cucumbers.

32:11 You put a cucumber and the cat will walk in and jump and sprint.

32:16 You should do a test. Put a big square of tape on the floor and see if your boyfriend instinctively sits in it. If he does... You're secretly dating a cat. There is an update. To those of you who expressed concern for my cucumber intake, or implying I may have an ED, I can assure you I am perfectly healthy.

32:41 I won't consider myself as having a problem, nor do I have any EDs. I just really enjoy my cukes. My cukes. I can go days without eating them, and I don't. eat my cukes. It's just that if I'm going to snack, I prefer to eat a cuke.

33:00 Stop calling it a cuke. Not you giving it a pet name. Cukies. I need my cukies.

33:06 I call the small ones cukies because they sound like cuties. I would consider the amount I snack on cucumbers proportional to the amount my boyfriend or any normal person would snack on chips or other junk food. I've had a few cucumber binges and I'm well aware that those are not healthy. Just like binging on junk food isn't healthy.

33:25 That's extremely uncommon for me, and for the most part, I eat a well-balanced, healthy diet. However, I will talk to my doctor about it to make sure that it's not worrisome. As for my boyfriend, we ended up calling it quits. Wow. Chalker. Dang. I was pretty hurt at first, but I think perhaps this huge reaction to cucumbers was indeed a red flag for controlling behavior. I think that he was trying to call my bluff, expecting me to give up my cukes for him. So the breakup took him by a bit of a surprise. How it went down was that I told him we needed to have a chat, and I told him that it was unacceptable to tell me what I was allowed to eat. I added that if listening to me chow down on cucumbers

34:06 was what bothered him, as some of you in the comments noted, I would avoid eating them when he was around. Apparently, the very idea of me eating so many cucumbers was driving him nuts, not the noise. I decided to try and compromise. He's a pretty heavy drinker and will intoxicate often. I know that it's very bad for his health, and I've expressed that concern in the past. I told him that I'd give up cucumbers if he stopped drinking, and he declined my offer. Threw out a few uncreative insults and expletives, and I'm now writing this from my mom's couch with a cucumber in hand and a cucumber in heart.

34:47 This is so funny.

34:49 Yeah, I think good on you. You're a free-spirited cucumberist.

34:56 Yeah, you don't need people to tell you that you can't eat a healthy snack.

35:02 You just had a brief six-month window where you accidentally dated a horrific 11 years older than you man.

35:11 Yeah.

35:12 And you know what? Six months well-earned, right?

35:15 Yeah.

35:16 You'll never make that mistake again.

35:18 Don't let anyone talk you out of your kukes, girl.

35:21 These kukes are for keats.

35:22 Kukes in my heart.

35:23 I've never known a man so anti-vegetable before now. I'm still unclear on why the cucumbers were such an issue and why I could never eat them again and why me suggesting you give up drinking was such a big deal, among other things. But I guess I'll never know. And there's an edit. No, I did not eat 35 of those mammoth cucumbers. My eating habits may be odd, but I'm not completely insane. I think My last cucumber binge, which occurs super rarely and was quite a while ago, I have maybe three or four big ones, and the rest were the mini-cukes.

35:51 Mini-cukes.

35:53 Sometimes we need mini-cukes. We've got some further edits here. Edit two. Just for some added clarification for those who think my boyfriend is completely justified in his cucumber hate and that I'm a lunatic, I agree. Sort of. If he had been bothered by the chewing or concerned about my health, I was ready to talk about it and work something out. I didn't enter into the discussion for a fight or with the intention of breaking up. His attempted grasp for control over my food wasn't even the reason why I broke up with him. But when he started shouting at me and called me a witch, which he had never done before, I decided to end things.

36:27 Like doctor's notes? Oh, okay. No, I don't know. It was... I don't know. It was like a... That was like something on our end that ended up in here accidentally.

36:37 Oh, a production note. Uh.

36:42 That is weird. Yeah, okay. No, we didn't really need that. She kind of acknowledged that. I don't know.

36:48 I don't know what that is.

36:49 Yeah, I think that's like... I don't think it's... It's not from us. Well, sometimes when you... I've seen these recently at the bottom of some of the notions. It's like whatever the agent we're using to scan the stories will sometimes leave a note. I don't know. Maybe... It doesn't really matter. That's the first time I've ever seen that happen.

37:11 Of the story don't let anyone take the kukes and don't let them talk you out.

37:16 Yeah and don't let them yell at you and call you names uh that's yeah that's bad that's also pretty much uh Deal breaker for me. Gotta love, like, the super cool, like, strong-jawed guys in the comments being like, you didn't even give him a chance. He probably had, like, sensory auditory issues, and you just didn't. It's like, no, actually, I broke up with him because he screamed at me.

37:37 Yeah, and started calling me names.

37:39 And called me names over me eating cucumbers. No, I think that's actually, don't worry about it. I think it's okay.

37:46 That's a reflection on him.

37:47 Yeah.

37:47 More so. But that's the end of that story, and we got another one coming on it.

37:52 Yes, we do.

37:54 My boyfriend has a tattoo dedicated to his ex, and I cannot deal with it.

37:59 Well, get you some lasers. Get it removed.

38:03 My boyfriend, 25 male, and his ex, 23 female, were together for a couple of years, a few months, before he and I, 20 female, got together. He'd gotten a tattoo symbolic of her name a year into their relationship. He told me he'd kind of designed it himself, but had to make some tweaks because the one he'd originally designed was too intricate. I am very, very uncomfortable. I know this happened before I was in his life and that I shouldn't let it bother me and blah, blah, blah.

38:32 But I can't help how I feel. I can't just suck it up. I really need some advice on how to start working on getting over this.

38:40 Thank you. There are some relevant comments. Honestly, I think you should not date him because he dated someone for years and then started dating you like a month later. Like he's not ready. They've got matching tattoos. I don't know. I don't know. I see.

38:56 The thing is, I don't know. I wouldn't like if I was dating someone and they had like a tattoo of like someone like someone's name or whatever on them. I'd be like, OK, I wouldn't have them get it.

39:08 I mean, I don't know.

39:09 It's like I would.

39:09 You don't even know me.

39:11 It's not like you knew and you did something that you, you know, wanted in the moment and whatnot.

39:15 And cool.

39:16 Now it's permanent. You can always get it removed if you want. But also, it's on your body. You do what you want with your body. I don't know. Unless it's like, you know, a love letter on your back that's just like.

39:29 I will never.

39:30 Be in love with anyone else unless they are this person.

39:34 I mean, yeah, I wouldn't date someone who had that tattoo just because of how stupid of a tattoo that is.

39:39 Exactly. There are some really big comments. Deleted says, this is why you never get tattoos for other people except maybe your kids slash parents slash siblings.

39:48 No love interest.

39:50 Is it a design with her name or their anniversary date or something? OP responds, I completely agree. It's foolish to get something so transient tattooed on your body. Even mentioned how he wasn't very deeply in love with her while getting the tattoo. No comment on why he got it anyway. What the F? Her name is that of a flower's. He has that flower tattooed on his bicep.

40:12 I would have laughed if I hadn't felt my heart shatter when he told me about it. It's also his very first tattoo ever. He's gotten a few since then, but it still effing stings that his first ever tattoo is dedicated to this woman. Thank you for not dismissing my feelings about it. He mentioned getting it covered up after he saw my reaction, but he's mentioned it only a couple of times since then, and he always says it in a tone that implies that he's going to get it covered up only because I'm so bothered by it.

40:39 Like he's doing me a favor.

40:41 By the way, this comes from throwawayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayay And.

40:51 We are here to talk about some stuff, get some advice. But we don't have everything you seek. We're only going to tell you what we would do. But let us know what you would do down in the comments. Before I move on, I was going to say something.

41:03 Yeah, I don't.

41:05 So it's not even her name. It's just a flower. And her, but the girl's name. So say her name is like Lily.

41:10 It's just a tattoo for his ex. And it was about the ex. And it'd be different if they didn't break up a month ago. But yeah, I don't know.

41:19 It's also just not even her name.

41:20 It's just a flower.

41:21 So, like, for example, her name's Lily. He got a lily tattooed on, like, his shoulder. No one would know that that is, like, you know, unless he said. And obviously that's what he said. And then you're like, oh.

41:34 Yeah, but OP knows. Then it doesn't matter.

41:36 Yeah.

41:37 OP knows.

41:38 To me, I don't really think it's that big of a deal.

41:41 But, sure.

41:42 Deleted says, I realize this is a tough love post, but here goes. I'm afraid you'll have to get past it. I also have to agree with that.

41:51 I mean, yeah, if you're going to date him.

41:52 Yeah. Like, you can't just be like, you have to take you have to get that off your body. You have to get it removed because you're with me now. And I want no remnants of her.

42:01 I wouldn't date anybody who said they've been dating someone for years and then they broke up a month ago. If I wanted to date someone seriously, I wouldn't date that person. Yeah. I'd be like, sure, I mean, we can mess around, but like, I don't want anything serious with you because you just got out of a multi-year relationship.

42:16 Yeah.

42:17 And I refuse to believe a month is enough time to move on from that. So whatever. Yeah, you're not ready.

42:23 OP responds, I have no problem with his spicy related past. Really, I'd be a fool if I did. He's half a decade older than me.

42:31 Five years. That's, yeah, that's, you could just say five years.

42:35 He's half a decade older and has obviously had more experience than I have. I just have a problem with how, despite him initiating conversations about the tattoo, it is still right there. And it's not like he's being lazy. He's gotten two tattoos after telling me he is getting that one covered up. I'm not insecure because I know he won't cheat. All I'm worried about is how attached I am to him and how my feelings keep growing each day and how it is entirely possible that he is not overheard despite what I think. So let me tell you, that's insecurities. That is insecurity. You're insecure that he's not over, that you're not good enough, that he's still thinking about her because, you know, you aren't good enough, per se,

43:20 and whatnot. And it's like, does he have to get a tattoo with your name on it now to make him, you know, to make you feel better? Like, this is just to make you feel better. And you're like, he's just still... He's gotten two other tattoos and still hasn't gotten that one removed. Like, I'm just... he's really beating around the bush with this one. And it's like, because he does not see it as a huge priority. Like he's got other things going on in his life. You know, just you have a problem with it doesn't mean all of a sudden he's got to do it for you.

43:49 You know, you've only been dating for, I don't even know how long, but like not that big of a deal.

43:54 All of this is.

43:55 Being manifested in my discomfort and downright hatred for that tattoo. Is OP's boyfriend still in contact with his ex? Does he plan to cover up the tattoo? They still talk sometimes. He's called me by her name twice, okay? And you know, without that context.

44:10 Again, this is why you don't date someone a month after they broke up with a years-long partner.

44:14 Yeah, it is weird. I don't want.

44:16 Because it does make sense. You're not crazy. It makes sense to be insecure. Exactly. It's like, it's only been a month. Yeah. But you knew what you were doing. You got into it.

44:26 Yeah. I don't know. My ex would text his ex sometimes, but he also was... Like she lived in Italy, so it's not like they were ever see each other or whatever. But he would talk to me like or he would talk about me to her when we were having issues. And I'm like, that rubs me the wrong way. Didn't like that. As soon as we broke up, what does he do?

44:46 Calls her.

44:47 So it's just weird. I don't like when people do that.

44:51 Hey, it's Dakota, your favorite good time boy host here. We're going to get back to the stories, but here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

44:59 I could safely say he doesn't hate her, but it doesn't seem like he's still in love with her either. He does respect her and has sometimes complained about her, but she's not a regular fixture in our conversations by any means.

45:11 Exactly.

45:12 It's really, really hard to see it every day so many times. I've spoken to him about it. He's very noncommittal, has mentioned getting it covered up, but hasn't acted upon it. He mentions he's going to get it as if He's doing me a huge favor and is covering it up only because it bothers me. No follow through. Well, yeah, that is the only reason he's getting it covered up because you have a problem with it. Is that the end of the world? He doesn't have a problem with it because he got it and he likes the tattoo.

45:38 But you're the one with the problem. So obviously, yeah, he would be doing you a favor because you're the one with the issue. Is that like the end of the world?

45:44 I don't get it.

45:45 And LP mentions in the comments other times their ex has come between them. Yes, other issues as well. She kept up with his social media well after they broke up and well after he and I got together. I posted something on his Facebook wall and the next day she instant messaged him to say that I look like a kid.

46:04 What the F?

46:06 He tells me this and I laugh it off. He then says that she's just projecting because everybody tells her that she has a baby face. I asked him if he replied with that. He said no. I got curious and asked him what he replied with. He stuttered for a good five minutes and said, he said, yeah, she kind of does, but she's really smart and blah, blah, blah.

46:29 So he didn't stand up for you. This isn't working. I'm going to tell you right now, it's just not going to work. He's still in contact with his ex.

46:35 What are you talking about? That's not him. He didn't stand up for her. Does she have a baby face? She's five years younger than him. Maybe she does look a little young, but it's like, If he then goes on to say, but she's smart and this and blah, blah, blah. I don't know, dude. This is just, don't date this man. Yeah.

46:53 Don't date this man. You feel like this about a man.

46:55 I don't know.

46:56 Don't date that man.

46:58 One of my boundaries is that you don't talk to your ex about the current relationship that you're in. That's just so messy. So, so messy.

47:05 It doesn't even sound like that's what it was. She shot a comment over. And he was like, yeah, maybe. But if anything, he was flexing and being mean to his ex. He'd be like, yeah, but she's smart and funny and blah, blah. It's not like he was like, yeah, and you look so much hotter than her, babe. I'll miss you.

47:25 I mean, I guess so.

47:26 I don't know.

47:27 Rubbs me the wrong way. Don't talk about me with your ex.

47:30 Don't like that. OP is just being like, and this is his fault. It's like, actually, it's both of your fault. Why would you date this man?

47:41 So I asked him if her opinion really matters that much to him. More stuttering. I just gave up and went to sleep. This is just one of at least a hundred petty issues which have built up over time. I never sit down and dissect them because I'd go insane. But this tattoo, coupled with his attachment to, is really making me question if I have enough pride.

48:03 There's an update. I don't know.

48:05 I think, truthfully, everyone kind of sucks here. I think you, OP, are not ready for this relationship, and I don't think he's ready for this relationship either. And I think you both have things that you need to work out separately from each other in order to make it work together. It just seems like you already say, I have so many things that are just swept under the rug. That's not good. You just started dating this man. What is the biggest issue? The biggest issue is that he has a tattoo of a flower that was for his ex on his arm that he won't find the time to get rid of. That's a little controlling, in my opinion.

48:40 Just my opinion, though. What do you think?

48:42 I think this is why you don't date people too soon.

48:45 I mean, yeah.

48:46 It's that simple, dude.

48:48 And that's all he wrote.

48:49 There's an update.

48:50 Okay, I got a lot of crap. Nice to read through all of that after the kind of night I had. Last night, my boyfriend got back home to tell me that he found the post. He's an avid Redditor, so I should have seen this coming. He said he had no idea that the tattoo was bothering me this much. We talked till about three in the morning because I had college at eight. He woke me up at six and said he wanted to talk.

49:14 Uh-oh.

49:15 Uh-oh. You think it's Breakup City? or i hope so i i just feel like there were problems that weren't resolved going into this new relationship and now it's you're in muddied waters You never cleared a path for everyone to take. So it's kind of, you're still struggling against the current. You guys paint that picture.

49:36 In your mind? Because I did. I see it. I'm swimming in it.

49:39 Just swimming upstream.

49:41 I'm swimming in it.

49:42 Long story short, he's still in love with her.

49:45 Yeah. Who would have thought that? Yeah.

49:49 Even though he's like, no, I wasn't really like deeply in love with her. You're still talking to her.

49:53 Who could have imagined that?

49:56 Yeah.

49:56 Yeah.

49:57 He really likes me and wanted to make it work and thought that moving close to me and away from her will help him sort his feelings out and be with me wholeheartedly. So, yeah. Thanks to those who actually tried to help me and didn't call me names.

50:10 Dang.

50:11 Yeah.

50:11 Is that us? Are we those people then?

50:14 I don't think I called you names.

50:16 Yeah. I think it was very clear that this was a misguided attempt at a relationship, but I didn't call you any names. Yeah. So we're the good guys.

50:25 And truthfully, I think you were his rebound, which sucks. And that's like a horrible thing to do to someone. But, you know, sometimes you live and you learn. And it's just that's why.

50:35 Maybe he just genuinely didn't know that it was a rebound. Right.

50:39 Because he's like, I thought maybe if I got closer to you, I because I did like you. Maybe I'd be able to pull away from my ex and then we could really actually work. And it's like, well, no, no, you just know that just the first half of that.

50:53 Yeah. First half of that probably.

50:55 I mean, he tried and it sucks that you were caught in the middle of it. But, you know, water under the bridge, I guess. And now you don't ever have to worry about him. And also now you can just keep that tattoo and be reminded of her all the time. But that's the end of that story. And we got some comments.

51:12 All right. We've got some comments from the video. My grandpa married a bruja after her ex passed suspiciously. And that was posted August 5th, 2026. TLDR for story one is OP's grandfather was a respected military leader who built a family legacy full of memories and heirlooms. After his wife died, he married a younger woman who slowly cut him off from his family. When he passed away, OP's family discovered that many heirlooms, photos, and valuables were gone, leaving them fighting to recover what was left of their grandfather's legacy. If you want to know how that whole story unfolds, you can go watch the full video. And we have some comments in my hand. First coming from LucarioMew358.

51:57 You know what really frustrates me about the first story is so many people, especially men, if we're being honest, have a habit of falling for this when they marry the much younger partner that isolates them from their family. Yet society never learns this lesson. It's so common. Well, that's why we're here, to teach people the lesson, I suppose.

52:15 Second comment from Misha Monroe. If someone already has children and strong family obligations, it's wise to make sure their children and existing responsibilities are legally protected before entering a second marriage. Estate planning, wills, trust, and clear financial agreements can help prevent future conflicts or exploitation. Yeah, I agree.

52:36 Usually contracts prevent exploitation, lest the contracts are exploitive. in which case the contract is an exploitation. I'm basically a lawyer. Final comment from Shimmyalot. The grandpa's totally gonna haunt her, and as totally cool as he was alive, I will bet he will be one force to be reckoned with as a ghost. Way to go, Grandpa. Yeah. Yeah, Grandpa!

53:01 Haunt her! Grandpa, vengeful veteran ghost? Yeah.

53:05 I mean, I read this story, and it was pretty sad.

53:09 Yeah, imagine being haunted by the ghost of the man that you married and isolated from his family.

53:13 Sounds like a pretty good storyline if anyone wants to make that into a movie.

53:17 That could be pretty good. But that is the end of those comments and the end of this episode. So if you love us, make sure you subscribe. We love you. And see you tomorrow.