I told my boyfriend I WOULDN'T marry him… he instantly became the perfect partner! -r/BestofRedditorUpdates | EP3111

0:00 Hey, this is Keon.

0:01 And this is Dakota, your favorite OK Storytime host. And we've got some great stories coming up. But before that, we have a two-minute break from the sponsors that keep the show going. I told my boyfriend I wouldn't marry him. And he instantly became the perfect partner.

0:15 Well, now I'm confused.

0:17 My boyfriend and I had a huge and rare fight. On Easter, culminating in me telling him I would not marry him as he is, after being together for almost five years and living together for most of that time. I was saying that hypothetically, as we've spoken of marriage before, but he eventually revealed he has a family ring in his possession now. I still said that if he were to officially ask, I'd say no right now, because I feel alone in our relationship most of the time, and there's no point in a marriage with no companionship. We mostly don't have companionship because my boyfriend games for at least 35 hours a week and often more in addition to a full-time job.

0:59 He's a gamer.

1:00 He's married to the game, bro. You can't be married to the game and married to your wife.

1:04 You're not getting it. I'm standing on business. I'm a gamer.

1:09 I like gaming, but I don't do it because I know I will binge on it. Instead, I go to the gym, read, write, watch movies and TV shows, go on walks, and sometimes go to coffee shops or out with friends. I've asked him to join me in any and all of this in the past, but he yells at gaming friends over the TV, games even when we're watching something new, and doesn't want to go out or tell me he doesn't want to stay anywhere late and just doesn't feel like doing much of anything else I ask about. I pointed all of this out in our fight, though I've communicated these issues countless times, as well as the fact that I do about 80% of the housework and that I am always the one to initiate it and have to nag him, which I hate doing, to

1:55 make him help. I thought saying all this to him in conjunction with the fact that I wouldn't marry him at this point would wake him up, but. This story comes from 40416. If you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit.

2:09 I'm Dakota.

2:10 I'm Sophia.

2:11 I'm Keon.

2:11 And it is our solemn.

2:13 Duty to read this story to you and give the goodest little goofy advice we can give you.

2:18 But we don't know everything.

2:20 So give your advice in the comments and maybe you'll win a prize. Probably not. OP says, A few days after our fight, my boyfriend spent a few hundred bucks on unnecessary gaming crap. I didn't even have it in me to argue. I just receded into indifference and rang a few friends about visiting them in other states to get away from my I'm not cheating on you or being abusive, so I must be a great boyfriend relationship.

2:46 Yeah, he's just kind of there.

2:48 I'm doing the bare minimum.

2:49 Why are we staying?

2:51 I don't know.

2:52 Even if he flips it all the way around, I don't believe it until seven months have gone by.

2:57 I mean, and also, like, why would you want To be with someone who it takes getting to rock bottom to realize, oh, I want to be with you and I want to show up for you. Like, why would we want to be with someone like that? Like, they can go show up for someone else.

3:12 I may have had some drinks and confessed to one of my friends that I honestly didn't believe we were going to make it anymore and that I did not have the heart to end it either. I drank a lot and cried alone. Came to the conclusion at one point that since he didn't buy the gaming crap with malice, maybe he's just super effing clueless. That honestly made me feel a little bit better. Until dot dot dot. He noticed I wasn't humoring him as much. Quote, we can go, but I don't want to stay late. Okay, sounds like you don't want to go, so I'll go alone.

3:44 Bye.

3:45 He started saying things like, I love you forever? Shut up.

3:50 Do you love me forever to the moon and back? How much do you love me? This much?

3:55 He tried to have a spastic times with me, but I did not feel like it because he's pretty selfish in the bedroom. And he finally said, we're okay, right? I told him no, but I had nothing new to say. So he's been texting me more as opposed to hardly replying. He initiated errands that he forgot about for over a month.

4:16 He's been making dinner despite buying himself a restaurant lunch almost every day, emptying the dishwasher after I wash the dishes and load it, telling me I'm beautiful, offering to do things for me, trying to give me a massage, and yet I find I'm mostly just angry. I'm angry that he ignored me every other time I brought these issues up for almost five years. I'm resentful of his countless one-sided, uh, ohs, and the number of times I've washed and folded or hung his clothes. The hours logged in WoW, StarCraft, CSGO, Dota, and the countless other realities that were more important than the one he shared with me, even when I was standing next to him, trying to speak to him, or just wanting to have a quick

4:56 meal together. And I'm just so angry that judging by this brand new and improved version of himself, he knew what he was doing wrong the whole time, and it wasn't until I finally seemed to have given up carrying us that he bothered to hold his own weight. Maybe this is what most hopeless significant others dream of, a hint of change. But one, I don't know that I believe it's real. Most of me thinks he's just doing this to placate me. I'd be afraid to marry him and see him revert when he thinks it's all settled. Two, I don't know that holding his own weight is enough anymore.

5:26 Maybe that's the resentment speaking, but I don't know that spreading ant bait and putting your socks in the laundry basket is enough to make me buy into this relationship again.

5:35 I don't want to be resentful. I don't want to hurt him or be cruel.

5:40 But he's acting like a good boyfriend and keeping his head down, I suppose in hopes of making me forget our fight and play along. And it's not enough, but I don't know what enough looks like. My friends recommend that I put together a specific list of what I need to see to think the situation is truly better, but I don't know where to begin or what to expect.

5:59 I've thought of asking for counseling as a start, but he thinks 24 hours of good behavior means that I shouldn't be upset anymore, so I don't know that he'll agree to go. Do I ask? Do I insist? I want to want our relationship again, but I really need some help figuring out how. And there are some relevant comments.

6:19 I want you to end the relationship. That's what I want. That's the only thing that matters. So end it. It's over. Stop holding on. Let go, Jack.

6:29 Uh, Roach Coach.

6:31 I personally wouldn't give him the time of day. Even if he asked? If he's not the guy you see yourself spending the rest of your life with, you need to start working on moving on sooner rather than later. I mean, I guess you could put a bunch of effort into asking for a list of specific changes, but in my honest opinion, you shouldn't have to do that.

6:47 OP says, regarding the list, I think I feel that way too. He told me he'd change, but that I'd have to show him how, and that made me live it. He said he didn't have good examples. I grew up in a harmful household with drinking problems and a borderline personality, so how is that a valid excuse? His parents are still happily together, though his mother does basically direct their lives.

7:11 But I have told and showed him a thousand times that that's not who I am or want to be. I honestly think my boyfriend could become a great man and partner, but I feel like it's not going to happen as long as I'm around, and that blows. A deleted commenter says, I would be angry, too, because all those actions show is that he has known all along exactly what he needed to change. He sounds selfish and lazy, and I would be totally done with him at this point.

7:37 I doubt he's even got a ring if you haven't seen it.

7:41 Yeah, it's just another thing that he's using to keep you around. It's the same as him doing the chores and, you know, I don't know, doing the ant bait or whatever. It's just another way he wants to string you along.

7:53 I mean, I think the ring came out before that happened. And that's what kind of started it. He was like, I got a ring. And she's like, you know, I wouldn't marry you right now, right?

8:02 Like, we're not good.

8:03 And he's like, what?

8:05 Wait, I did not see that coming at all.

8:09 Opie says, I thought the same thing about the ring because he has referenced an engagement before as what I believe was an emotional manipulation tool. Boom. So I looked and I found it. But it broke my heart that I was snooping for a ring not from excitement and a need to see it and a hopeful suspicion, but for a jaded disbelief. I'm a teacher and I told him that if I ask my students as a class, please make sure they're on task and three of them jump and shove their phones in their bags, then I now know that they know what they were doing was wrong.

8:40 So if the threat of losing me makes him jump and change all of these things, I now know he knew what he was doing wasn't right. So that's five years of mistreating me just because he thought he could get away with it, and that hurts.

8:53 And there's an update.

8:54 But honestly, I mean, yeah, part of that could be true, and he probably had a lingering awareness that, you know, what he was doing.

9:01 Was not okay.

9:02 I just don't think he cared, and that's worse.

9:04 Yeah, exactly. In a way, you know. I don't know. Brains are weird.

9:10 I think you know what to do, OP, though. I think you know that's over.

9:14 Update. Three months later.

9:16 Well, against all advice and reason, I committed to giving my relationship another go. We attended counseling. The first session was painful, but productive. We worked on goals. Our counselor said that my resentment could heal if I could agree to stop questioning whether my boyfriend's efforts were sincere and if I just took it day by day. He agreed to limit his gaming to an hour or two a night.

9:38 As long as he was making genuine effort and we were communicating, our counselor said we could work it all out. Within a week, my boyfriend was back to gaming all day. We were affected by the flooding in Houston, and he was so stressed by all of it, he just couldn't do a dang thing but play CSGO to cope. I booked tickets to the opposite side of the country to see friends. He spent my last That's so sad.

9:50 Five years?

9:50 When I got back almost two weeks later, he made a big show of not gaming and doting on me with exaggerated charisma. I'd be watching a TV show, and he'd stare at me until I asked why, and he'd say something like, I'm just mesmerized by your beauty.

10:24 Shut up.

10:24 Get out of here.

10:27 He pouted when I didn't want to have spicy sleep with him and told me he was overwhelmed with spicy frustration since he wasn't gaming anymore, and it's like I'm seeing you and how beautiful you are for the first time in years. I started getting so anxious being badgered about banging someone who doesn't even know my birthday, that I started having to drink to tolerate it. Anyway, I went out of town again, and when I got back this weekend, he made this joke. We have two friends who are twin brothers. The slob lives in the neat freak's house and pays rent. He's paying $ 400 a month just for the room, and the neat freak asked for a mere $ 100 more to cover the purchase and prep of all food plus chores, from laundry to cleaning the

11:08 entire house. Pretty sweet deal, right? My boyfriend thought this was a hilarious imbalance and said, so slob neat freak.

11:17 Is basically your girlfriend, right?

11:20 Because a girlfriend is someone who stupidly does everything for someone and is too whipped to ask for much of anything in return, I guess. Why did we come back both times?

11:30 Yeah, why are we still here? Go to that therapist and say, hey, you are wrong. No more money. This is not working.

11:41 I didn't even feel like I snapped. It was more like something softly clunked into place. It wasn't even a fight. I was just done. He has since been texting mutual friends to tell them I booted him out and he had no idea this was coming. They've known us for years and see through it, but it's still pretty annoying.

11:59 I've since found out he also told at least one male friend about my cosmetic medical surgeries and I overheard him telling gaming friends how dope it was that I can't get pregnant.

12:10 Good times.

12:11 He seems to think that five years of BS isn't a good enough reason to break up and is now claiming I'm the love of his life and he'd never have given up on us. He's supposed to come over today to sort some stuff out with the lease, I guess, but I could use some support reminding me that I've made.

12:24 The right choice. You have.

12:26 Made the right choice.

12:27 You've made such a good choice that I feel deep shame that I, for even one second, had a shred of sympathy for this man.

12:34 Best choice ever. Stay away from him.

12:36 Edit!

12:37 I had a friend come sit on my couch while my ex came over. My ex came in with really aggressive body language, saw another male was present, and visibly deflated a notch. He was still pretty angry, but he didn't take it out on me as much as I feared.

12:50 He told me he never said I could have our house. It's a rental.

12:53 And that if I wanted to leave, I needed to get out. He originally gave me this speech about how I'm family and this is all his fault, so I should stay. But now he's saying that he never said that, along with a bunch of mean remarks. I know I have as much of a right to be here as him, since we're both on the lease, but honestly, it's not worth the fight.

13:12 You're leaving. Doesn't matter where, who's going where. Five years. Five years of this, O.P., That's crazy. I'm so sorry.

13:21 Realizing that the person I've loved for five years would rather see me have to struggle to find somewhere new to live with our four pets, whom he only guilted me about but didn't even try to work on keeping any, was eye-opening in a terrible way. He said a bunch of spiteful things to me and the person I had with me, slammed the door a lot, and left. Then he started texting me again about how he loves me and I'm family and anything I need I can ask him for for the rest of my life. Except a place to live, I guess. I could never forget how he spoke to me when he told me to get out.

13:51 So that's the closure I needed, though it does still hurt. I'm already looking for a new home. Thanks to everyone who commented and messaged me in this post and the previous. I really appreciate the stories and words of encouragement. I'm going to cuddle my pets, drink more coffee, and listen to my bad girl playlist while I search rental home listings.

14:09 And that is the end of that story.

14:10 Thank goodness.

14:11 You made the right decision. You gotta have way better life from now on.

14:16 Gotta have a way better life. And that's the end of this story. Let's head to the next one.

14:21 My girlfriend's ex stole from her. Now her parents want to have dinner with him?

14:26 That sounds reasonable.

14:28 Before I can even begin with my question, there needs to be backstory. I, 25 female, have been dating my girlfriend, Kate, 25 female, for almost five years. We met while she was dating her now ex, Dylan, 25 male. They dated in high school and were together for about five years. Girl only does relationships in five years. That's crazy to be from 15 to 20, five year, and then 20 to 25, five year.

14:52 At least she's got a reputation for being five years.

14:57 I became friends with them through work and realized Dylan was not a good boyfriend. Kate would come in crying to work. Or tell me how he yelled at her, called her names, and belittled her. She would give him ultimatums. Stop talking to me like that or we're done. Dylan would always apologize and then slowly go back to being mean to Kate. Kate and I developed a close friendship.

15:19 And during the aftermath of breaking up with my ex-girlfriend at the time, she was always there for me. I eventually found out through other coworkers that Kate had a crush on me.

15:29 During her relationship with Dylan?

15:30 Sounds like it. Not great.

15:34 Maybe you were the golden snitch or whatever. She finally locked eyes and she's like, I'm going to be a seeker. I'm going to seek out OP.

15:42 All these times I've been a beater. I've been trying to get this guy away from me.

15:47 It's like the big one called.

15:49 The big one? There's beater, chaser. Oh, the quaffle.

15:51 Yeah, there you go.

15:52 Thank you. Thank you. Yeah.

15:53 Dylan's the quaffle. You're the golden snitch.

15:56 After confronting Kate about her crush, she offered to Dylan to start an open relationship.

16:02 Okay.

16:02 Kate, Kate, Kate.

16:05 I bet he's going to love that.

16:06 Kate could date other people and so could Dylan. What if we just broke up?

16:10 Why is that option so hard for people?

16:11 I don't know. And then you could still date other people. From then on, for two years, I got to call Kate my girlfriend and still remain friends with Dylan. Why are you friends with Dylan?

16:21 Why are we all tethered to Dylan?

16:23 Like, you've told me that Dylan is not a good guy.

16:26 Hey, whatever gets them to, you know, slowly be like, oh, this is what I actually deserve.

16:32 Dylan tried to get on dating apps, but never really connected with anyone. It wasn't a perfect system, and there was jealousy on both sides, but there were good moments. Were there? Okay. By the way, this comes from Sarcastic Clueless, and if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash showcase story time subreddit. I'm Sophia.

16:50 I'm Keon.

16:51 And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we don't have all the answers, and if you've got answers, put them down below. And OP says, eventually Kate did break it off with Dylan because he was still mean and he developed a gambling problem.

17:03 That's what caused the separation?

17:05 Yeah, she's like, you're a terrible boyfriend, but also none of that meant anything before, and now you're gambling, and that's what's gonna piss me off.

17:12 You know what?

17:13 At least we got there. At least we got to the finish line.

17:15 And he used a majority of Kate's savings to try to dig himself out of a hole. Why did he have access to her savings?

17:23 Why were they still together all this time?

17:26 He promised that he would get the money and pay back all $ 30, 000? How did that girl have $ 30, 000?

17:33 Why did that girl have $ 30, 000 and stay with Dylan?

17:35 She was 20. She was like 20-something.

17:38 Savings. Damn.

17:39 Actually, she must have been under 20. How did you have $ 30, 000 of savings?

17:43 What work do you do?

17:45 Jesus.

17:46 That was three years ago. Yeah, so she would have been 22.

17:50 Wow.

17:50 Kate has gone no contact and blocked Dylan from all social media. Kate's dad texted Dylan occasionally at the beginning of the breakup to see if he could pay off the debts with monthly payments. It's been radio silent and there's been no money.

18:03 Okay, now we sue him.

18:04 We haven't heard from Dylan up until yesterday Kate's mom tells us that Dylan is in town and she and Kate's dad are going to meet up with Dylan to see how he's doing Kate felt betrayed what's the point in going to meet face to face her parents said it's strictly business and to make sure Dylan is okay and give.

18:19 Him closure closure for what I.

18:22 Don't love that unless they're trying to get Kate's.

18:26 Money back it seems like it's trying to get Kate's money back but I mean closure to getting the money back.

18:30 Yeah closure to get to give him closure on our accounts Kate started crying and I'm pissed off. I asked Kate if she wanted me to call Dylan to see if I can get him to cancel. I got sent a voicemail and left a pretty reserved message. I told him it's weird to have to meet up with your ex's girlfriend's parents and I think he should cancel the dinner and keep it strictly text about paying off his debt.

18:52 Kate hasn't stopped crying and feels like her parents don't take our relationship seriously because I'm a woman. How am I supposed to go on with my life if my parents can't? Her mom told her it's not a big deal and it's more for the benefit of getting the money. I honestly agree.

19:07 Why is Kate, okay, if that's truly the case, then why is Kate so frustrated about her parents going to get the money?

19:13 Because obviously her trying to get the money hasn't been working.

19:17 Is it weird that her parents said, well, we want to give them closure and make sure it's okay? Yes, but it seems like the main reason that they're meeting up with them is to get the money because texting hasn't worked. I feel like they're trying to.

19:31 Get your money back, Kate. Yeah, I feel like get your money up, not your funny up.

19:36 I don't know if it's my place or even Kate's place to tell her parents what they should or shouldn't do, but it feels like even if they did hear how it makes us feel, it wouldn't mean anything. So am I the a-hole? And we do an update. I really feel like you guys aren't here and we're trying to get your $ 30, 000 back.

19:54 $ 30, 000 is a good amount of money.

19:56 Like they have to be nice to him.

19:58 That was stolen from you.

20:00 $ 30, 000 in my life would be, like, that's not money that you can just say, oh, well, I lost $ 30, 000. Like, that's not money that you could do that with. Unless you are.

20:12 Unless you have that amount of money.

20:14 Unless you have triple that, maybe. Even then, $ 30, 000 is... You gotta have, like, a million dollars. I don't know.

20:21 Why is everyone freaking out that they're going to meet up with Dylan? Because I feel like the parents are just like... Why are we stressing?

20:29 You're not meeting him.

20:30 Unless if there is like an underlying like, yeah, we're trying to get Dylan back into your life. But we don't know. It just seems like they want to get your money back because $ 30, 000 is, I don't know, $ 30, 000.

20:40 And probably maybe, again, she was 22 when they broke up for good. That was probably a lot of their money too. Yeah, I don't know. I think you guys are overreacting. I'm going to be so for real here.

20:53 Yeah, let us.

20:54 Know if we're in the wrong here. Because I feel like people are like, no, don't do that. What's Dylan going to do to your parents? Yeah.

21:01 If they just said, oh, we want to meet up with him to see how he's doing. We miss him. That was it.

21:08 I'd be like, yeah, that's weird. No, I feel like they're like, we're doing that. But really, we're doing that? That's the cover. We're getting the money back.

21:15 Literally.

21:16 I really don't think you guys are looking... At the whole picture. Update. I appreciate everyone for your comments. I showed Kate the post and we had a few good laughs at what you guys had to say about us. Two weeks ago, I posted about calling my girlfriend's ex and trying to get him to cancel having dinner with her parents. Here is some more information about the situation that will clear some things up.

21:36 Did you also call Dylan to be like, okay, you don't have to do dinner with her parents. Just give her back the $ 30, 000 or at least a payment plan.

21:44 Well, she said just text them about payment.

21:46 Can he acknowledge it? He's acknowledged it one time and that was like, A long time ago.

21:50 Don't get it twisted. Kate wants slash needs the money back. Well, could have fooled me. She doesn't want to do whatever it takes.

21:57 There's water in the ocean.

21:59 The $ 30, 000 was leftovers from Kate's student loan that she intended to use towards paying off her student debt.

22:06 Gotcha.

22:07 Now that makes sense.

22:09 It is not her parents' money. He withdrew thousands of dollars throughout the summer while Kate was in a different state visiting her family. Oh, so he stole her money?

22:18 I mean, we knew that.

22:19 Well, I thought she was giving.

22:20 Yeah, did we think Dylan was like, hey, could I borrow money?

22:24 I did think that. I thought she was like giving him 30, I don't know, increments over a certain amount of time. But he just stole that. Like, you can take him to jail. When she confronted him, he promised he would pay it all back and even offered to pay interest. Kate tried to handle it herself, but every time she messaged Dylan about money, he would tell her he had a plan and would deposit money soon.

22:47 Was the plan to go gambling more?

22:48 After several months and no payments, Kate moved back in with her parents and asked for help. Kate's dad said not to worry. He would contact him from then on. Kate didn't tell me to call Dylan. I wanted to. I wanted to help, so I offered. She wasn't pressuring me, and she also wasn't screaming at her mom or throwing a tantrum. I believe she was advocating for her feelings, but I am biased. It was a conversation that ended with Kate feeling emotionally frustrated. OP continues, Kate's dad did meet with Dylan and was promised monthly payments would be made.

23:18 He then said he missed Kate's younger siblings and asked if he could see them. That's where it feels less of a business agreement and more personal. We asked her siblings if they wanted to see Dylan. Some said, who? And others said, why would he want to see us? They've heard what's been going on and those were their first reactions. The problem is, this could have been a phone call rather than two-hour dinner. I get communication with Dylan won't stop anytime soon, but maintaining a relationship that's beyond paying off a debt is what I don't understand.

23:50 Even if he was a part of this family for five years, Kate's mom's words, as of right now, no payments have been made since the dinner, but maybe by the end of this month. Again, thank you for taking the time to read all this. All in all, let's just hope it all gets paid back this time. I mean... It is really weird that her parents want to have a relationship with Dylan.

24:10 I think it's to... Like, what they did was... It wasn't like, we need a relationship with Dylan. But they're like, this is going to be the tactic of getting the money. I feel like that's what it is. Because they... Probably should know that Dylan treated their daughter pretty badly.

24:26 He stole $ 30, 000. He stole $ 30, 000. Let's do the good cop route first. It's like, get him dinner. Let's see how he's doing. Where's the $ 30, 000? No, you cannot see our kids.

24:40 How's that sound?

24:41 Maybe write this out on a piece of paper where it's actually, you know, written out.

24:46 And I think, yeah, contract. I think Kate could sit her parents down and say, hey... I appreciate that you're helping me get this money back. I do not feel comfortable ever seeing Dylan again. It also makes me uncomfortable that you want to have a relationship with him because of how he treated me. I cannot tell you what to do, but just know if you ever try to put me and Dylan back in a situation, I will distance myself from you two.

25:12 And that's the end of this story. Let's head to the next one. My boyfriend secretly wore my clothes for months. Then he promised to stop.

25:19 Does he wear them better than you?

25:21 A bit of a backstory. I'm in my early 20s. I dated a guy who moved close to where I used to live for college. He didn't live in the same town. He used to come to meet me for the weekends and summer break. We dated less than a year, but it was still too long. I broke up with him because it was getting too toxic. We're going to call him Frank.

25:40 Ah, that's my dad's name.

25:42 Which obviously is a fake name for this story. Like I said, we lived in different towns and I used to work on the weekends. So sometimes he was by himself at home. I was living with my mom still. All was well, everyone got along great, and we thought nothing was wrong. To put in some context, I am not very petite, so I wear a lot of men's shirts, hoodies, and flannels because the women's clothes are too tight for my body shape. So, for a long time, I was more of a tomboy, but I started to dress up more feminine when I got older because I got used to my shape and, little by little, got to love looking more girly than I used to. I wore dresses, skirts, tights, and chunky heels, but still with some of my older clothes.

26:20 I didn't mind sharing hoodies or shirts with Frank because, like I said, they were technically from the men's section. By the way, this comes from user RODLAT. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit, where this story is from.

26:35 It's one of our own, and we're reading it. Great. And we're going to give goofy advice.

26:40 It's true. The goofiest.

26:41 We'll probably just give what we know, because we don't know everything. So let us know what you know in the comments down below.

26:47 As Opie says. So, a couple of weeks into dating.

26:50 Frank went back home for the holidays, and when he came back, he invited me over for the weekend since his roommates weren't there yet. He told me to bring something cute to wear for a date out. I was like, yes, I have the perfect outfit. A little black and white houndstooth pattern dress with the long sleeves and white collar, black semi-opaque tights, and cherry red docks.

27:10 Ooh, I can picture it now.

27:12 Well, turned out there was a storm, so we had to stay indoors for the night. During the night, I woke up and I was feeling the arm of my ex and thought, Huh, wasn't he shirtless earlier?

27:22 Because, you know? And here I was, lying beside Frank, and.

27:27 The texture of the article of clothing felt familiar. I opened my flashlight on my phone, set it in low light so as not to disturb my ex as he was sleeping, and yep, he was wearing my dress. Asleep. Color me confused. Maybe he sleptwalk?

27:45 Yeah, because I would understand if he just wanted to try it on and maybe he's experimenting with, like, you know, different clothing and stuff and, like, gender expression. But to put it on and then to go back to sleep is confusing.

27:59 I didn't waste a second.

28:01 I woke him up. I told him to wake up, and he just mumbled sleepily. I said it again. Wake up, Frank. And I tapped his shoulder lightly. He said, huh?

28:10 What's up?

28:11 What time is it?

28:12 I told him it was 2 a.m. and that I woke up and I was wondering why he was wearing my dress while sleeping. He just said, huh? With the deer in the headlights face on. I shook Pikachu face up. You know, you know, the memes, all of it. I told him to take it off right now. He said, it's okay.

28:32 It's nothing bad.

28:33 I assure you. And I cut him off saying, yeah, no, take it off and start explaining right now, please.

28:39 I was in shock.

28:41 I'm going to be honest. This does not warrant that reaction.

28:45 Yeah.

28:45 If I found my boyfriend in my dress, I would be confused in the middle of the night. If in the middle of the night I found my boyfriend, I wake up, he's wearing my dress. I'd be like, what?

28:56 How did that happen?

28:57 Yeah.

28:57 Yeah.

28:57 Like why did he wake up, put on a dress and then go back to bed? That would be my main confusion. I would not wake him up and be like, I think that is a little bit intensive.

29:07 I was in shock.

29:08 I don't know. I did sound pretty rude at that point, but yeah. So He gets up, starts zipping off the dress, and then as Frank starts taking it off, I realized he was wearing the tights too.

29:18 Okay, I think he just wanted to try on your outfit. I don't know why he went to sleep in it, but I think he just wanted to try the outfit on.

29:26 I will admit, I went a bit ballistic at that because he knew how I struggled with finding clothes that would fit me. I don't really remember how it went, but finally, he did answer my questions. I asked him why he was wearing my dress and tights to bed with me.

29:40 Frank said, I don't know.

29:41 It's something I wanted to feel close to you. I missed you and I wanted you here so much and be closer to you like that.

29:49 I don't think that's the real reason. I think he wanted to try the dress on.

29:53 I think he wanted to try the dress.

29:54 And he's embarrassed to admit it.

29:56 I replied to Frank saying, I missed him too. That's why I was there that weekend, but I didn't understand how my clothes fit into this scenario. He said, I wanted to feel you closer as I was asleep. I told him that he realized I was unclothed there in his bed, right? Like I cannot possibly be closer right now.

30:15 We slept in a slightly bigger twin bed, college type of room. After some back and forth and finally taking my clothes off, I put them back in my bag as I was leaving in the morning. He promised me he wouldn't do it again with my more feminine clothes, but of course he didn't.

30:29 I don't know. This is when I'm having the conversation of, hey, is it really that you wanted to feel closer to me? Because maybe that's some sort of codependency thing that we have to talk about. Or is it like you're, you know, experimenting? In which case, that's okay.

30:48 And.

30:49 Just, you know, ask me and that's fine.

30:51 Let's be honest here.

30:51 Like, yeah.

30:52 Zero judgment zone.

30:53 Which one is it? And I wonder if maybe he came up with that excuse because he saw her reaction. It was like, oh, she's going to judge me.

31:02 Like I said earlier, by the end of the relationship, it was pretty toxic. And this particular moment was kind of like the starting point of no return. I don't know to this day if it was a cross-dressing thing or if he was just going through something. Life-altering moments, even after talking about it for so long, I just...

31:19 Let it go. It wasn't the reason I broke up with him, though. But after our separation, it came back up again. By then, we had been broken up for about one to two months. My mom and I decided to do a yard sale, and in the sale, I put the houndstooth dress into the giving pile. My mom went and asked me why I was getting rid of it and if she could take it for herself instead.

31:39 I explained to her why and what happened, and she wordlessly put it back into the giving pile.

31:44 Wait, is that a reason to get rid of a dress?

31:47 I don't think so.

31:49 Is that really a reason?

31:50 So, I hope you continue saying, I went to work in the afternoon while my mom set up our yard sale. When she came to take the dress out and put it on the showing rack, she noticed something. Dark sweat armpit stains on the black and white houndstooth dress.

32:04 Yup.

32:05 He did in the end tell me what he did. You can't make this up. He wore my dress nearly every time he came to my place. Wore it with some heels that he bought for me that I couldn't wear because they weren't comfortable while playing video games for hours. And then he put it back in my closet without washing it repeatedly, weekly.

32:25 I'm personally not seeing this as as much of an issue.

32:29 I see this as a very big issue because you already had your boundary removed.

32:33 Oh, yeah. That's true.

32:34 That's true.

32:35 You did ask him not to wear it. I guess because you asked him not to wear it, yes. But I'm wondering, OP did specifically say, oh, he didn't wash it. Were you still wearing it at that point?

32:45 I don't know.

32:46 The fact that he's wearing your clothes while gaming?

32:49 That's what I'm saying. It doesn't feel like he was doing it to be closer to her.

32:54 It feels like he's doing it for him. Yeah.

32:57 In which case, I feel like in the future, if you ever had that, you know, thing come up in another relationship, I would suggest having a more open conversation with your partner. Cause it seems like he didn't feel comfortable. Obviously there were other issues. So like he's gone.

33:13 I mean, if you were seeing this repeatedly weekly, I would have been like, hey, dude, I'm going to buy you another dress.

33:18 I would give him the dress.

33:19 Or you can have that one.

33:20 I don't think OP even wore it ever again because she didn't notice that there were. She said that he never washed it because if she was wearing it, she would have noticed and been like, oh, I need to wash this dress. So she clearly never wore it again. And he was the only one wearing it. Like, give him the dress, for real.

33:36 I think it's just really funny that he's wearing it during video games. And he's like, it just makes me feel more aerodynamic, you know?

33:41 I'm not going to say anything about your relationship. Because, again, seems like you had other issues and had reasons for breaking up. But I think just to consider him, I really feel like he just, you know, felt more like himself. And, you know, I hope he gets that dress someday.

33:55 Get the dress and say yes.

33:56 Okay. Obi also says, after that, I did a full scan of my closet and found some missing clothes. And it was mostly very feminine pieces.

34:04 Of clothes.

34:06 Opie says, I stopped wearing that dress when I first caught him in it because it kind of ruined it for me. I couldn't look at it the same way as before I purchased it. I only got to wear it one or two times and it sucked to think of it, so I couldn't. and I wouldn't wear it anymore. So yeah, there was one of the things that did happen during that relationship. And I'm glad to tell you all today that I am in a much better place with the love of my life, and I just think of myself as lucky that I found my gem of a boyfriend who lets me be me, is proud of me, and loves leaving my clothes to me. We share hoodies and t-shirts, and that's it.

34:42 I think it is very reasonable to have boundaries, and I think... that it is not okay that he crossed those boundaries. I personally don't see the issue with him wanting to wear the clothes. But just like in and of itself, not saying... Because once you set the boundary, that's your boundary. But in general, outside of the boundary, just looking at that as.

35:05 If he just gave me a good reason, or if he gave OP a good reason, his reason was to feel closer to you, and then he doesn't... Yeah, I.

35:11 Don't think that's true. I don't think that... I think that he got scared because OP got really upset, and he was like, well, I can't tell her the truth now, so what makes me seem a little bit more, you know, a little bit better in her eyes?

35:25 Yeah.

35:26 I hope that person is living their true life now.

35:30 They just have, like, a full closet of all, like, the same dress.

35:34 Yeah, he just really loved that dress. I, yeah, I think it was more of a gender expression than what he said.

35:41 And that's the end of this story. Let's head to the next one.

35:45 Hey, Keon here.

35:46 We're going to get back to the stories, but here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

35:50 My brother's girlfriend of 10 years has never met him.

35:54 That's not your girlfriend.

35:55 And trigger warning. This doesn't have a conclusion.

35:58 Now I'm pissed.

36:00 My brother-in-law is in his late 30s and has been supposedly dating the same girl for 10 years. Let's call her Brady. His name is Jim. They met when he was a student teacher, so he was an adult and she was still in high school. She is my age, maybe younger, probably 28. Jim's brother Dolan and Brady graduated together and they did not get along, primarily because she ratted Dolan out for something that he claims he did not do.

36:27 Sounds pretty dull.

36:28 He's a liar sometimes, so I don't know how reliable that is. Fast forward to now. I have never met Brady. I've been with my husband Bork. This is Jim's brother since 2018.

36:40 Jim and Bork.

36:41 Jim and Bork. I've been with my husband, Bork, Jim's brother, since 2018. Jim has never brought Brady to family reunions, holidays, or wedding, etc. There's always been an excuse. Also note that Jim does not have social media. Jim talks about Brady's niece and nephew all the time, knows all the details about them, has shown us pictures, etc. Sometimes Jim can't come to family events because he says he's with Brady.

37:07 My mother-in-law has even said she's heard him talk to her on the phone, shown her pictures, heard him call her sweetie, and says that she's on his phone plan. He's also been able to relate some issues with her that I've had issues with my gut health and anxiety and whatnot. He's talked about where she works, what she does.

37:24 He's talked about moving closer to her. She lives an hour and a half from us. By the way, this comes from RudeTip8098. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash okay story time subreddit. I'm Sophia.

37:35 I'm Dakota.

37:36 I'm Keon.

37:37 And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we don't have all the answers. So let us know your answers down below. And OP continues. Additionally, a few years ago, we saw Brady's sister and their kids, that he talks about to us all the time, had a pumpkin patch and Jim bolted the other way.

37:54 Oh no. I have a theory. What?

37:57 What is your theory? I don't have any theory.

37:59 It's a one-way relationship. Brady does exist, but Brady doesn't think they're dating because they're not.

38:07 And they're just friends.

38:08 And this is all a little fantasy in his brain.

38:11 So Brady probably met him as like a teacher or whatever. And she's like, yes, this is my teacher.

38:16 And he's like, yeah, this is my wife.

38:19 Additionally, a few years ago, we saw Brady's sister and their kids that he talks about to us all the time. Had a pumpkin patch and Jim bolted the other way.

38:26 Jim just wanted to show you how fast he was.

38:28 Which was weird since that's her sister and he talks so highly of her and her kids. This is where it gets weird. In October of last year, my husband found a picture on Facebook of a firefighter and Brady kissing at a Halloween party. And since Jim doesn't have social media, my husband sent it to Jim. Jim thanked him and was sad for about five months. Jim then proceeded to begin talking about Brady again this last month.

38:54 At work, he's been telling people, we work in the same building, that they've been together for 10 years. Also, me and my husband found out last year that Brady is their third cousin on our dad's side, LOL. Huh?

39:07 Third cousin loving? That's, you can get away with that.

39:10 So, a few weeks ago, I decided to follow Brady on Instagram and invite her to my son's birthday. As well as introduce myself, since, well, I've never met her.

39:19 Uh-oh.

39:20 I noticed immediately that there are no pictures of her and Jim and she isn't shy of posting. She replied and said that she has not talked to Jim in 10 years. Jim immediately messages me and tells me not to talk to Brady and thanked me for thinking of her though and that they were working through some things.

39:36 Yeah.

39:37 10 years of things.

39:38 10 years worth of one-sided things.

39:41 I messaged Brady back and said, I'm so sorry. I thought y'all were together. He talks about you all the time. Jim immediately texts me again and tells me to block her. Is she messaging him and being like, hey, why are you telling people that we're together? How does he know?

39:57 How does he know if he has no social media?

40:00 Yeah, he doesn't have any social media. Presumably, she just said, I haven't talked to him in 10 years. So how does he know that Opie is doing this? She messages me back and said, that's okay. What does he say about me? And I told her general things about her niece and nephew since they're the same age as our kids, her health and how it's related to mine and how we have similar nicknames from Jim and my husband. She left me on read. Uh-oh. Jim came by my office at work the next day and said that he was sorry for that interaction I had with her. Not sure if he knows she told me they hadn't talked in 10 years and that she was so overwhelmed by the kind gesture of me reaching out that she didn't know

40:36 how to react. He said her mom called and said she was so upset and that she might have to go console.

40:42 Brady.

40:43 Jim seemed nervous during the whole conversation with me in person. He wouldn't make eye contact. And he kept seeming like he was searching for words during that whole interaction. He then told my husband something completely different. Jim told him that she was overwhelmed by me messaging her. Doesn't explain why she told me it's been 10 years since Jim and her have talked. Just left the conversation at that.

41:06 Since then, Jim has been distant from the family. But he did mention her randomly the other day. very specific detail about her dog. I did message her cousin, which I'm friends with her friend, and she was flabbergasted by all of this, saying that Brady has brought several guys home and to family functions over the last 10 years, and that she even had one recently and hasn't mentioned Jim since they were supposedly secretly dating when she was underage.

41:33 And he was an adult student teaching at her school.

41:37 Yeah, that also just adds the ultimate creep factor. Not only have they not talked in 10 years, he was the teacher, like assistant teacher or something, whatever.

41:51 It seems like he was some sort of adult teacher at her school, developed an obsession with her that she was not aware of, and has manufactured this whole life. And she is just now finding out that this is a thing.

42:05 Yeah, if this is me, I'm like, let's go camping, Jim. We're going camping, just us together. I leave that man in the woods.

42:14 What is going on here? My husband doesn't want to touch the issue with the 10-foot stick because the thought of his brother being insane is maddening to him. This entire family has some loose screws. My husband is the only one that seems normal.

42:29 Everything is questioned now.

42:31 What are your thoughts? Are there any other subreddits I can post to? Any theories? Any thoughts from outsiders? I feel like this is a Dateline episode. And no, I'm not nosy. I'm just too far deep into this to back off, because if my brother-in-law is a sociopath, I'd love to know.

42:47 There's a glitch in the simulation.

42:49 Yeah, this whole time he has been married to Brady, but she just forgot. This is 50 First Dates.

42:57 That would be the sweetest way it could be, huh?

42:59 Comment 1. Maybe her mom has another account and pretends to be her? But if he says he's seen her in person, then maybe he's a creepy stalker or has had some sort of delusional breakdown. Something's not right here. Maybe he's attracted to the same gender or has some other secret and doesn't want you to know, so he made up a girlfriend. OP says, I do think since he claims she's on his phone plan, that the mom has been pretending to be Brady this whole time. And since he may be desperate and so obsessed with her, he may be okay not ever seeing her. And she just strings him along.

43:32 I don't know.

43:33 That would be Norman Bates' psycho levels.

43:37 If her mom was pretending to be her?

43:42 Again, this simulation is pretty crazy.

43:45 But if her mom was pretending to be her, then there would have to be a world where Jim... Was, yeah, okay with not seeing her for 10 years and then was also contributing to the lie.

43:56 There's no universe. Jim knows.

43:58 I refuse to live in a world where Jim doesn't know what he's up to right now.

44:04 We've got an update. Well, y'all were right. It somehow got even weirder. I reached back out to Brady one last time because I honestly felt bad for dragging her into this. Just wanted to make sure she was okay and that this wasn't some blink twice if you need help situation. She basically said, no, I wasn't overwhelmed. I was just really confused why he's still talking about me.

44:25 She told me she's had zero contact with Jim in about 10 years and has absolutely no intention of ever speaking to him again. She said she was genuinely creeped out that he knows so much about her life. She also told me that she wasn't upset with me at all. She was uncomfortable because of him. Then I asked her how Jim could possibly know all these insanely specific details about her life. I'm talking about her nieces and nephews, her dog, her old job, her health issues, and the fact that he has told all of us they're still dating.

44:55 That she's on his phone plan, that he's literally pretended to talk to her on the phone in front of his own family. To that she said, uh, what the F? None of that is true. I don't even have his phone number. Apparently the only explanation she could come up with was maybe her mom had been talking to Jim over the years? So she called her mom right after I messaged her that, which I guess explains why he knew so fast. And her mom admitted they've stayed in touch and just talk about life. So we have confirmation mom is catfishing as Brady.

45:31 I guess that's not as bad.

45:33 It's worse.

45:34 It's all bad. There's no, there's no, there's no, there's good in this.

45:37 No, I think it's worse if your own mother is pretending to be your girlfriend for 10 years.

45:42 That's a little worse.

45:43 I guess it's just perspectives.

45:45 But this is worse.

45:47 For her.

45:47 This is, this is worse in terms of like, how is that happening?

45:51 Why?

45:51 At least with crazy mom, you can go, okay, crazy mom. But why is this other girl's mom doing this?

45:59 Which, what? Brady said she was completely blindsided by that and got into a huge argument with her mom because she feels like her privacy has been totally violated. I mentioned that Jim had recently brought up her dog and some random story about one of her friends, literally the other day, accidentally feeding him grapes. Brady said, yeah, that actually happened, but I only told my family and close friends about that. She asked me to please let her know if Jim keeps talking about her because she wants to know if this continues. Aye, aye, aye. That was insane.

46:33 Perfect ending, Brady's mom and Jim.

46:36 He wakes up, was a dream.

46:39 I think perfect ending, Brady's mom and Jim go to jail.

46:43 Yeah, Brady's mom has got it going on.

46:45 At this point, I honestly don't know what to think. I will share that after the first interaction with her, when we were all talking about it as a family, me, husband, mother-in-law, and Dolan, Apparently her mom, according to my mother-in-law, is kind of crazy. I didn't believe it at first because it didn't make sense. But apparently she's obsessed with her daughters and posts all of their pictures that she posts, which I guess explains where Jim has been getting the pictures from the mom. And we all joke that maybe Jim is being catfished by the mom, but I think maybe the mom is so obsessed with her daughter she shares everything with everyone and maybe Jim has taken this information and created a fake relationship with her? and casually

47:24 asks for pictures and updates on the family.

47:26 I don't know.

47:27 I'm confused and tired. Commenter says, so wait, is Jim secretly with Brady's mom? OP says, that's my theory. Another commenter says, oh man, is Brady's mom married? OP says, yes, but not sure if it's happily married or just married.

47:42 Well, it's certainly not going to be happy if this all comes to light.

47:46 My conclusion that I'm taking away from this story is that a man, we have two possibilities. A man 10 years ago was obsessed with a teenager and reached out to her mom to get more information. And for 10 years, that mom has been giving information and he's been living in a delusion about being in a relationship with her daughter.

48:05 Or second conclusion, this mom 10 years ago was obsessed with this guy and and wanted to pretend to be her underage daughter.

48:14 I think at some level it's both. Because at some point he knows what's going on. That's why he ran away at the pumpkin patch or whatever. He ran off. He was like, I can't see them.

48:26 He does have to know a little bit.

48:28 And that's the end of this story. Let's head to the next one.

48:32 My father-in-law stole multiple times, then claimed it was an accident.

48:36 I didn't mean to steal that.

48:38 I just was seeing if you'd catch me.

48:41 My husband and I just found out that in the past two months, his father has stolen in total about $ 800 from his banking account, $ 400 of which was between September 28th and October 8th. He had been pulling the money out the day he got paid, so we didn't realize. Before anyone asks how he had access, they opened up the account together when he was 14, and he didn't expect his father to steal from him, so he never made it a point to take his name off the account.

49:06 October 8th, he pulled out $ 200, and it was the first time we noticed, which is what caused me to look and find all the other transactions. He called his dad, who made some BS response that he needed it for bills and would get it back eventually. our account the next day, which did not happen. We hit a rough patch early September due to me being ordered on bed rest.

49:27 We very quickly went from a two-income household to a single income, and we had to really scrape things together to make it work. We thought we were struggling, but it turned out my husband's father was just stealing from us.

49:38 I don't understand how you noticed that one time but didn't notice it the next time.

49:42 You know how it is. Fool me once, shame on him.

49:44 Because it would make more sense if they had more money and were like, oh, we didn't notice like $ 50, a couple dollars or whatever. But I feel like when you have less money, you are more likely to be like, hey, where did all that money go?

49:58 That's why they found it.

49:59 But they didn't find it this time.

50:00 That's what they just said.

50:02 But they said, oh, we thought we were not doing well. So that kind of to me.

50:06 Well, no, it's because she lost her income. She became bedridden.

50:10 No, I get that. I'm just saying she just.

50:12 I thought it said that as soon as they looked into their money because they weren't making enough, they found it.

50:17 It didn't seem like it was immediate to me in the way that that was written. Maybe I'm maybe we need more information.

50:22 I'll say this right now. How often do you look at your bank account?

50:26 Literally so often. Yeah.

50:28 OK, there we go. Be like Sophia.

50:30 I look at it so often.

50:32 I can't even imagine how vile of a human being you have to be in order to listen to your son and his eight-month pregnant wife talk about their financial struggles, all the while knowing you're taking food from their mouths. I can't even imagine the pain and anger my husband is dealing with right now. and I'm going to tell you right now that this comes from Angel22949. If you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit. I'm Dakota.

50:55 I'm Sophia.

50:56 I'm Keon.

50:57 We're going to have our thoughts and opinions, and we're going to say them, and you get to tell us what you think about it in the comments, and that's called a dialogue. OP says, Father-in-law and his wife got into a pretty massive argument last month because she had been sending him money for all the bills because she's the breadwinner, And he had been going and spending it all on his coin collection, leaving their mortgage and electric bill unpaid.

51:20 It's called an investment.

51:21 Yeah, I spent $ 500 on this 25 piece.

51:27 Yes, this nickel costs $ 8, 000.

51:30 But it's a cool nickel.

51:32 Get all the copper you need now.

51:33 From the time that argument happened to now, he has taken about $ 600, so I can only assume that he's doing it to save his face and marriage. Are you kidding me? He's doing that because he's got buffalo nickels to buy.

51:45 Yeah, I feel like the guy that spends all of his money on money is not stealing to save his marriage.

51:57 There's no way his wife has any idea about this. She has truly been a blessing to my husband and I throughout all this. And she would rather starve herself than take money from her children. I have stayed with my in-laws a few weeks while we were moving, and she refused to let me pay rent for the time I was there.

52:12 She is already on her last leg with him.

52:15 Well, maybe she refused rent from you guys because she was already taking rent from you guys. She's like, ah, my husband's already stealing the rent money, so.

52:24 Maybe she was just more into the coin collecting back then. She was like, my husband actually just started doing this thing. We're going to be loaded really soon, so.

52:31 Don't you worry. We're going to have so much money.

52:34 He's buying all the pennies.

52:36 He's going to be worth something someday.

52:38 Would I be the a-hole if we confront him with all the transactions in front of his wife?

52:43 Would you be the a-hole if you confronted your father-in-law for stealing your money? Yes.

52:50 For you asking the question like that? Yeah, asking the question? Yes.

52:54 Yeah. Yeah, you'd be the a-hole for sure.

52:58 No.

53:00 The guy stealing from you would probably think you're the a-hole.

53:03 He's like, hey, why won't you let me steal that money?

53:06 I like that free money.

53:08 I want her to know exactly the kind of man she married. Part of me wonders, though, if that's too far. But the other part of me is honestly too angry to care. I just cannot believe a person could be so foul to his own flesh and blood.

53:21 And there's an update.

53:22 I don't, I don't, what are you doing?

53:26 I think you should demand repayment in coin collection.

53:29 Yeah, take his coin collection. I also think there are many things that you could do to show his wife who he really is. Namely, call the police. That would do it.

53:40 Police can't do anything about it.

53:42 Why not?

53:43 Because he's on the account.

53:45 Oh, right.

53:46 It's more just like a, what are you doing?

53:49 Why can't we take him off the account? Why haven't we done that immediately?

53:53 Because we didn't think he was going to take $ 800 from us. I think now you negotiate You say, you pay me in coin collections, but only at what they're actually worth as coins.

54:05 Yeah, if you haven't already taken them off the accounts, let's get to that ASAP.

54:10 There's an update. We've gotten a lot of very helpful responses and advice from you all, and I want to start off by thanking you guys for that. This has been a very tough situation for everyone involved, and sometimes getting third-party advice is the best way to go. We did take him off the account this morning. Tomorrow morning, we will be closing the account and opening a new one at a different bank, per suggestions. I did take a Redditor's advice, and before we had confronted him about everything, I took mother-in-law aside and explained what had happened, and as I guessed, she had no idea. She was beyond angry and hurt. She's been sending him $ 750 a month to help with utilities, and he's been spending it on

54:48 God knows what. Their electricity shut off on the 8th. which is why he took the $ 200 from us. He then tried to excuse the other six transactions as an accident and then kept on switching from it being an accident to him having an emergency after nobody, including his wife, believed that any of them were accidents. You can't accidentally take $ 200 out of someone else's account.

55:11 I've done it.

55:12 You've what?

55:13 I'm kidding.

55:14 I've accidentally sent people money when they were supposed to, like, instead of requesting, I paid it. And then they've had to pay me that money back, you know? I've done that before.

55:23 Yeah, you know what you say to dad? You'd be like, okay, cool, accidentally sent it back.

55:27 His wife sent us the money he had taken out, which I don't agree with. I don't feel like it was her mistake to rectify. But I also understand she couldn't consciously let us suffer because of him. I have no idea where they are going to go from here, probably the divorce court, but I know now this is not the first time he's done this, and he had taken out money from her account four times before she lost it on him. I mean, what does your partner have.

55:55 To say about this?

55:56 Yeah, I mean, it's his money.

55:58 I mean, just like, is he, I would assume he's cutting his dad off.

56:02 I hope so. That would be the logical.

56:04 Get the money back first, then cut him out.

56:06 Get the money back, wrestling match.

56:09 I'm worried that it'd be really hard to get that money back.

56:12 Well, mom already took care of it. Go steal his coins.

56:16 Go steal the coin collection.

56:17 Go like just replace his coins with other coins that aren't valuable.

56:21 See how long it takes for him to notice.

56:22 A guy who stole money to have a coin collection is going to notice that his coins are.

56:27 Well, it's okay. You can just tell him it was an accident. See, I was just playing with your coins and I put the wrong ones back.

56:32 It's my bad.

56:33 They all look the same. That'll probably make him more.

56:35 Mad than anything.

56:36 I already sold them all.

56:37 Yeah, I went to 7-Eleven.

56:38 I spent them all. In my personal opinion, he has a serious problem, whether it be gambling or some kind of substance use disorder. I do not think he would be spending over $ 1, 000 a month on coins, but hopefully this situation can be a means of his wife finding out what has actually been going on. and her being able to take the proper steps to protect herself from his financial instability. We honestly have no idea where to go from here. The last thing I personally want is for Mother-in-law to be sucked into this more than she is, which makes distancing very difficult, because no matter what, she's also going to take some of that downfall, even if it's just supposed to be him. I am not sure where their relationship.

57:15 Is after this, though.

57:16 She feels very betrayed.

57:17 So, that's where we're at.

57:19 I want to thank everyone again for the amazing advice and the validating responses. You've all helped out a lot more than you realize. And that's the end of that story.

57:28 I realized. I realized how much I helped, actually.

57:31 Yeah, we're kind of the only reason that they made it through that.

57:35 You're welcome.

57:36 You're welcome for all the help that I gave you.

57:38 Go steal his coins. Steal all his coins. Genuine advice.

57:41 Steal his coins.

57:42 What's he going to do? Go to the police?

57:45 Steal all his coins.

57:46 What are the police going to say? Oh, coin boy lost his coins. Shut up, nerd.

57:51 And then you take the coins and you put them in a little gumball machine and spend all of the coins on gumballs.

57:59 It's very meta. Put all the coins in one of those little things that you make like you squish the penny. You squish all his coins.

58:07 You go to the zoo, you squish all his pennies. I mean, his coins, his quarters. Squish all his quarters. And they all will have little giraffes on them.

58:17 And then he can click those.

58:19 You'd be like, Dad, you had all these worthless coins. I decided to do something with them. Now they're worth much more. To me.

58:27 Just give it time.

58:29 Just you wait.

58:29 Until someone out there is going to be in the market. They're like, I want a Roosevelt dime that's also a giraffe from the zoo. And that's the end of this story. Let's head to the next one. Hey, it's Dakota, your favorite goofball host here. And we're going to get back to the stories. But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors. My sister became a mother, and suddenly she's better than all of us. Well, she is. I, 41 male, have quite a large family. And my youngest sibling, 21 female, Laura, is a first-time mom to her daughter, one female. To be honest, we are a very close family. Obviously, no family is perfect, but we're all pretty close. My siblings and I have always had differences. parenting methods. Some of

59:11 us sleep train. Some of us co-sleep. Some of us have larger families. Some of us have smaller families. Some of us send our kids to public school. Some of us to homeschool. Some of us have red kids. Some of us have blue kids.

59:23 Yeah, I'm sorry. Are we reading a Dr. Seuss novel now?

59:27 And no, we are not. religious before people ask. I'm a father of six kids and my oldest two kids are twins and they're 16. My youngest child is almost seven months old. Like I mentioned, my sister Laura became a mom for the first time a year ago. Her daughter is one. Laura is very much into attachment parenting and gentle parenting. No screen time at all. Baby wearing all the time.

59:50 Baby wearing? Like you have to have the baby on you at all times?

59:53 I imagine that is a full-blown papoose at all times.

59:57 Baby wearing all times.

59:59 Catch me posted up in this papoose.

1:00:01 Aren't you supposed to have them on the floor a little bit?

1:00:03 Yeah, I think so.

1:00:05 I think they should be moving around.

1:00:07 I think they're supposed to learn how to walk at some point.

1:00:09 And that's fine. Oh, that's fine. Everybody parents differently. I won't judge unless I think someone's genuinely not being a good parent. And Laura seems to be a great mom. But ever since having her daughter, it's like she suddenly thinks she's the parenting expert. Which is normal, I understand. But yikes, her holier-than-thou personality has really gotten on my other siblings and I's nerves.

1:00:34 Are y'all telling me that you have a good relationship with your siblings, but you don't immediately call each other out on that type of stuff?

1:00:40 Well, I feel like with parenting, it's different.

1:00:43 Is it, though?

1:00:44 Probably. In terms of the intensity of how emotionally charged it would be, you know?

1:00:50 I think that's a pretty fair point. I guess what I'm coming from is... If my sibling were annoying me in general, I would immediately say, like, hey, stop doing that.

1:01:01 Most of us already have been parents for over a decade now, and all of us are good parents. None of us have ever tried to one-up each other in regards to how we parent. And by the way, this comes from CaptainThrow123. If you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit. I'm Dakota.

1:01:18 I'm Sophia.

1:01:19 I'm Keon.

1:01:20 And we're going to read this story, but just to let you know, none of us are parents.

1:01:25 We don't know everything.

1:01:26 That's what you think.

1:01:27 We only know the things that we know.

1:01:28 Who are you a parent to?

1:01:30 No, you're a parent. You just didn't know.

1:01:32 That'd be so scary.

1:01:33 Anyway, tell us your scary stories in the comments. And OP says, oftentimes us siblings are all talking about parenting and Laura will hear what we say about our own parenting. And in response, she will say things like, yeah, I never put Ellie to be in her own crib. She's so secure and attached to me because of that. Ellie will never watch TV when she's older. I won't let her be brain damaged. I couldn't imagine letting my kid play independently. I'm her mom. It's my job to entertain her.

1:02:01 Oh, she's going to be a helicopter parent too.

1:02:06 So far, not sounding great.

1:02:08 You keep doing that, Ellie's going to resent you.

1:02:10 This is how you get Norman Bates.

1:02:11 You also really do need to let your kids figure, like be bored. Because I think there is the idea that you have to constantly entertain your kids, whether that be like you are playing with them or giving them an iPad or something so that they're not bored. But sometimes you just got to let kids be bored and they need to figure out how to entertain themselves.

1:02:34 All of this is in response to us talking about our parenting. It's not like she's telling us about her parenting. She's purposefully taking what we have said and telling us that she's just so much better because she has a different way of parenting. And it comes across as judgmental. All my siblings have noticed this. Let's see what's at the end of this story here. Yesterday, we were all at a family barbecue and we were talking.

1:02:58 My brother jokingly said.

1:03:00 That he always smiles when he sees that it's almost bedtime because then he gets a moment of peace once his kids are asleep.

1:03:07 We all laughed because this was clearly a joke. Laura spoke up.

1:03:10 Of course, and said, Oh, I couldn't imagine being excited about Ellie going to bed.

1:03:15 Shut up.

1:03:17 And it's because she's one, dog.

1:03:19 Give it some time.

1:03:21 Just you wait until she's a toddler.

1:03:23 She's at the easiest age.

1:03:25 Just you wait until she can walk.

1:03:28 She's my favorite person in the whole world, and I love her more than anything.

1:03:32 She's informed sentences.

1:03:33 She's not even a person yet.

1:03:35 Are we hating on a kid right now?

1:03:36 We can't.

1:03:37 I don't hate on the kid. Why would I?

1:03:39 You just took away her personhood.

1:03:41 She's not a person yet.

1:03:42 Ellie's not a person.

1:03:43 No, she's a baby. She can't be your favorite person. She can't even talk.

1:03:49 Everyone got really awkward and silent after, so... In the end, I just said, you're not a better parent than the rest of us because you choose to parent differently. Stop acting like you're better than the rest of us. Now she's mad at me, saying I'm just jealous of how she parents. Am I the a-hole? Bro, she's jealous? You're jealous of the way she parents?

1:04:11 You're jealous of how I don't let my daughter....

1:04:16 Stand, sit on the floor, which yeah, by the way, not, not a parent. So I've got no horse in this race, but I think that's probably the worst way you could probably parent.

1:04:24 I mean, I don't even think there's necessarily like, I'm not going to judge her for how she is parenting.

1:04:29 I will.

1:04:31 There is so many different ways to parent. And it's very silly that she's saying anything at all. And she's the newest one there.

1:04:39 And that's the end of this story.