My girlfriend's daughter STOLE my daughter's gift… so I asked her to leave! -r/AmITheAsshole | Reddit Stories | EP3113

0:00 Hey, this is Angie.

0:01 And this is Carly, your favorite OK Storytime hosts. And we've got some great stories coming up. But before that, we have a quick two-minute break from our sponsors that keep the show alive.

0:11 My girlfriend's daughter stole my daughter's gift, so I asked her to leave.

0:15 Hey, give that back!

0:17 So, four years ago, my wife passed away, leaving me, 42 male, and my daughters, 19 female and 17 female, behind. A year and a half ago, I met Vicky. 47 female, and we quickly fell in love. Vicky has a daughter, Heather, 24 female, and together they came to live with us. Vicky and I did not get married, however, so Heather isn't technically my stepdaughter. Almost from the beginning, Heather wasn't very nice towards me, to say the least. I tried to get to know her and at least establish a cordial relationship with her, but nothing worked. She was very disrespectful and hateful to me, but also to her mother.

0:55 She is sounding kind of like a Heather. Heather also picked verbal fights with my daughters, but I squashed that soon after it happened.

1:03 The younger girls?

1:05 Yeah, she's establishing her dominance, obviously.

1:07 She's a 24-year-old picking fights with, like, how.

1:09 Old are they? 19 and 17.

1:11 Okay. I guess I could see that more, but it's still a little silly.

1:14 She's going, I'm the alpha.

1:15 Like, I'm just imagining myself at 25 having a, like, picking a fight with a 17-year-old.

1:20 With a 17-year-old. Heather was the instigator, and I told her that if she had a problem... She should direct it at me instead of my daughters. And it seemed to work. By the way, this comes from user Ocean Boyle. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit. I'm Keon.

1:38 I'm Sophia.

1:39 And we're here to give good advice goofily. Sophia and I are just goofballs.

1:42 It's true.

1:42 We don't know everything.

1:44 It's true.

1:44 We only know what we do, so let us know what you do in the comments down below, pretty please.

1:47 Please.

1:48 As OP says. So, last week was Casey's, which is my eldest daughter's birthday.

1:53 19.

1:54 She's turning 19. She just turned 19. Yes. And dad, a.k.a. OP, says, I gave her a spa package treatment for two people. The total was $ 500.

2:04 Wow.

2:05 In the form of a gift card.

2:06 Dang.

2:07 Look at you. Big money, big money.

2:10 And told her she could pick another person to go with. She chose a younger sister who was excited to go. They would pick a date and make the reservation. Casey wanted to make the reservation two days ago but couldn't find the gift card.

2:22 That's not good. The $ 500 gift card?

2:25 I wonder who took it.

2:27 Oh.

2:28 After hours of searching, we couldn't find it. When Heather came home, we asked if she had seen it. She told us she didn't.

2:36 I don't buy that. I don't buy that.

2:39 After another hour, Vicky found the gift card in Heather's room against Heather's protest. After a while, Heather admitted she took the card from Casey's room and went to the spa two days ago with her girlfriend.

2:50 Holy cow. And so immediately I'm saying, okay, well, then you owe me $ 500.

2:56 Yeah.

2:58 Immediately, I'm like, get out of my house. If Heather is living, if there's some sort of they're all living together situation, which it seems like they are, I'm immediately saying, you are not living in the house that I probably am paying for. If you do not pay me $ 500, you're an adult, you can get out.

3:16 Yeah, I agree. Do we think Heather is doing this so that Vicky, her mom, and OP break up?

3:24 Probably, but also she probably just sucks.

3:26 That too. Opie continues saying, I was so pissed. It makes sense. I would be pissed too.

3:32 Me too.

3:33 And I told her that if she didn't pay Casey $ 500, I would punt her out.

3:38 Yeah.

3:39 It's like you're in my mind.

3:40 It's like you're Opie. You're one and the same.

3:43 We're the same person.

3:44 We have the shining.

3:45 I have a daughter. I have two daughters.

3:46 I'm a daughter too. Since Heather doesn't have a job and has dropped out of college, she says she can't pay it.

3:52 Bummer. Should have thought about that.

3:55 Time to get a job.

3:56 Or your mom is paying. I don't know.

3:58 She has been living at my house rent-free with everything paid for. Yeah. I told her if she can't pay for it, she should go live with her irresponsible father instead.

4:08 Yeah.

4:09 Ooh.

4:09 Or, like, get a job. You're 24.

4:12 You have two options. Get a job or go live with your bad dad.

4:15 I don't know. It's pretty crazy that at 24 she doesn't have a job, dropped out of college, and.

4:21 Stole somebody's birthday present, by the way.

4:23 But, like, it's just, like, it's doing nothing to further her career, her life, and is living off of her parents' rent-free, and then pulls this behavior.

4:32 And I guarantee, it's probably Vicky, not necessarily condones it, but, like, allows it. She doesn't do anything.

4:37 Yeah. Yeah.

4:38 She called me every name in the book and locked herself in her room. Good thing you have a key, right? Vicky says it was an a-hole move since she has nowhere to go and her father won't pay for her to live with him. So am I the a-hole?

4:48 Not at all.

4:49 So we're just going to allow that, Vicky? We're just going to let that slide under the rug?

4:52 Yeah, yeah.

4:52 If she has nowhere to go, maybe she should have thought about that before she stole $ 500.

4:56 From my daughter.

4:58 Yeah, yeah.

4:59 A.K.A. not her stepsister yet, but who knows? Yeah. Vicky, if you play your cards right, which seems like you're not playing your cards right right now.

5:06 Playing your cards wrong.

5:08 Yeah, we have an update.

5:09 Oh boy.

5:10 So, quite some people have been asking for an update. Considering it's been a rough week and only now are things calming down, I thought I'd write an update. I sat down with my daughters and had a long conversation about Heather, my relationship with Vicky, and how I'd let it go up to this point. In short, my daughters have for a long time hated Heather. They didn't have many problems with Vicky, only regarding how Vicky always lets Heather off the hook easily. I read many comments, and I started doubting my relationship with Vicky. I knew it wasn't perfect, but thought we loved each other. My daughters are of the opinion that Vicky never loved me, but that I also never loved Vicky.

5:49 That, uh, I don't know. I mean, I wouldn't trust your, like, 17 and 18-year-old daughters to necessarily tell you how your relationship is. But, like, maybe that's the... Or that's like the little spark you needed to realize that your relationship is not where you want it to be.

6:07 Maybe.

6:08 Especially Casey thought it was more companionship that we shared and that I was lonely.

6:15 Maybe.

6:16 Maybe.

6:17 Dang. My daughter hit the nail on the head.

6:20 Okay, I guess your daughters are really good at reading emotions. Prove me wrong.

6:25 She was right. I didn't want to spoil my daughter's day to the spa and I paid for it so that they could still go. They went a few days ago and had a blast.

6:33 I love that.

6:34 Regarding Heather, I essentially punted her out. Vicky threatened to leave if I punted out Heather, and I told Vicky she was free to also go. You got your $ 500 back, right?

6:46 Yeah, well, I guess they've got more space, not paying for so many people.

6:51 After that, she quickly backpedaled and told me she didn't want to go. Heather made a fuss, but I let her take her stuff and she moved out within two days. She's temporarily staying with a girlfriend of hers. I told Vicky that if Heather didn't pay the $ 500 back, we are going to call the police and report her. Do we think that's, like... Yeah, she's 24.

7:13 That is more... I think that's more than fair.

7:15 Yeah. We have some consequences to your actions, Heather.

7:20 Yeah, if she were, like, 18, or... Or, like, say if it was a $ 50 gift card.

7:24 Yeah, $ 50, she was, like, 18, 19, I'd be like, yeah.

7:30 She needs consequences, yes, but wouldn't necessarily go to the police or something.

7:35 She's a full-fledged adult.

7:36 But she's 24 and has $ 500.

7:37 Yeah.

7:39 Vicky was horrified and called her parents. I was surprised by this because Vicky told me she had a bad relationship with her parents. As far as I know, Her parents gave her the 500, and she gave the 500 to me.

7:51 Not bad enough, I guess.

7:52 That fast.

7:53 Yeah.

7:53 It was that fast.

7:54 Well, this feels like this is what Vicky has learned, and this is what she's taught Heather. Like, oh, whenever I'm in trouble, my parents will bail me out.

8:03 Bail you out.

8:04 Or there are no real consequences.

8:06 Because I can just get the money from someone else.

8:08 After this, I was about to have a difficult conversation with Vicky and wanted to tell her we are over.

8:14 Whoa.

8:15 But Vicky beat me to it.

8:17 Oh.

8:17 She told me that I treated Heather like crap because I was threatening to call the police, and she couldn't live with that. I was also relieved, and it probably showed, prompting Vicky to call me out, asking if I was going to try and make it up to her and convince her to stay. I told her, no.

8:34 Wow.

8:34 And there it is.

8:35 There it is. Maybe we follow our daughter's intuitions.

8:39 Yeah.

8:40 Yeah, I guess they really knew. I was like, I don't know if we need to talk, you know, we need to... base our relationship on what our daughters think, but clearly they knew. So sometimes I guess you do need someone who has an outside perspective.

8:57 Yeah, and I think it does suck because Opie, again, lost his partner and the mother.

9:03 Of his kids.

9:04 Obviously he wants to move on from that.

9:09 Just wasn't with the right person.

9:10 No. After this, a lot of screaming on Vicky's part, so she also left. She's staying with a married couple that are close friends with her. It took a bit more time and energy to move her stuff to her friend's house. While I was there helping to move her stuff, I was essentially ignored, so I have no idea what Vicky told them. Today is the first day of peace and quiet in my house, and I already notice that my daughters are a lot happier.

9:33 Yay!

9:34 And that's all that matters to me.

9:36 Huzzah!

9:37 I want to thank everyone for their post and weighing in.

9:39 Well, there you have it.

9:42 That's the end of that story.

9:42 I think.

9:44 I think it's the, now you need to have a confirmation of like, go through the test of, do my daughters approve of you?

9:50 Yeah, yeah.

9:50 Like, daughters? I'm a council of daughters.

9:54 What do you think? Doth she pass the test?

9:57 No? No.

9:58 You have been denied.

10:00 They give you the thumbs down.

10:01 The two nays say nay.

10:03 That is the end of that story. Best of luck with your family, Opie. I think you're going to be okay.

10:09 My family wouldn't respect my boundaries, so I am lawyering up and moving out.

10:14 I suggest you get a lawyer too.

10:15 Aye, 24 male.

10:17 Live with my mom in a rural part of the U.S. For context, when it comes to my sister, 37, she is much older, and we come from different fathers and both grew up in split custody arrangements. We are not particularly close, almost acquaintances more so than siblings. I don't really feel any familial connection, even though I love her.

10:37 I don't feel obligated to bend backward for her. Well, sister lives two hours away in a much more urban area and is currently going through divorce. Her and her ex-husband only had one vehicle, and it belongs to the ex-husband, so when they split, he took the car. Sister has four daughters and works a full-time job. I, on the other hand, work from home and have no real external responsibilities.

10:59 My mom came to me asking if my sister could borrow my car for a couple of months until the divorce is finalized, so she has a way of transporting her and her kids to wherever they need to be without the financial burden of purchasing another car, or relying exclusively on ride-sharing. By the way, this comes from Encryption29.

11:16 And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash okay story time subreddit. I'm Sophia.

11:21 I'm Keon.

11:22 And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we don't have all the answers. We only know what we do. So let us know what you would do in the comments. And Opie says, I just recently bought my car, 12 V8 Mustang. And it's my first vehicle ever. I didn't get a hand-me-down or get one as a present. When I turned 16 or 18, I was basically immobile, except occasionally being allowed to drive my mom's car. Or when my dad had me, I could get Ubers. Getting my own vehicle was extremely liberating, minus the loan. And I don't feel trapped at home. So when I was approached with this proposal, I flat out said, eh, nope. I can totally understand the justification for letting her use my car for a couple months. But aside from the fact

12:06 I don't want to lose my newfound sense of freedom, I also just don't want someone else driving my car. And maybe that's selfish of me.

12:13 No.

12:13 No.

12:14 I think that's very fair. It was like, hey, could you let her use your car for a week?

12:17 Yeah, totally different.

12:18 Totally different. But a couple of months? Yeah. Even a week is pushing it for me because we live in L.A.

12:23 Yeah.

12:23 I'm going to get my car.

12:25 I mean, they live in a rural part. But then maybe you might even need it more if you like are far away from things.

12:31 Yeah.

12:32 Unfortunately, I can't give you my car. Maybe I can help pick you guys up.

12:36 Yeah.

12:36 But oh, she lives too. It's like it's too complicated.

12:39 Yeah. It doesn't make sense. Like get a rental car.

12:43 Mom, why can't you use your car?

12:44 Literally. Over the last few days, my mom and sister have been trying to convince me to let her use the car, saying that she would pay for the car payment while she has the car. Then why not get a rental car? or that she'd pay for insurance if she has it longer than anticipated. No matter what they brought to the table, I kept saying no, much to their dissatisfaction. Flash forward to this morning, I realized that my mom isn't home. I opened our garage to see that her car was still there, but mine was not.

13:14 Oh, no. I don't like that.

13:16 Police. I immediately know what happened and called my mom about the situation. She tries to calm me down and have me try to picture it from my sister's point of view. But I'm just flushed with rage and instead told her that I'm going to report the vehicle as stolen instead. I mean, yeah, they did steal it.

13:34 Yeah, no, this is technically being stolen.

13:37 If your name's on there and you paid for it, then I mean, like, honestly, even if you didn't pay for it, if your name's on it.

13:43 You didn't give consent to them taking your car.

13:46 She just hung up the phone. As of now, I presume my car is down with my sister, and I'm seriously considering reporting it stolen and naming her and my sister as perpetrator and conspirator. I really don't want it to go that far, and I hope that we could instead work this out. But what I initially said as an angry threat, I'm starting to really consider as an option.

14:07 I just don't know if it's worth burning so many bridges over a car, but the fact that my family won't respect my boundaries or my property is so frustrating. Would I be the a-hole? And we do have an update. What do you think?

14:20 I think, well, how long are they taking the car? If this is the first time, I'd be like, don't ever do that again. You're done.

14:26 Well, we haven't gotten the car back.

14:28 Well, yeah. I don't know how long this is going to be.

14:30 It's been about a day. I think it's been like a day.

14:33 A day. I don't think a couple hours or half the day. I go, okay, I need my car.

14:38 Yeah.

14:38 Whose car am I taking? I need to go somewhere. I need my freedom.

14:41 Yeah. Yeah.

14:42 I feel like you give, like, you're like, if you don't give me this car by this time, or.

14:46 Or it's not back by, like, midnight or something like that.

14:49 Then I will call the police.

14:50 Yeah, and if you ever do that again, please.

14:52 Yeah, police immediately.

14:53 I think doing the police right now.

14:56 Yeah.

14:56 I mean, it might take longer to get your car.

14:58 Too much. Maybe just, like, hey... I would be furious, by the way. I would be truly furious. Why did you get an emergency? I mean, yeah, you can drive your mom's car. Why didn't she drive your mom's car?

15:08 Yeah.

15:09 No, I'd threaten police... And then if you still don't get it back, then yeah, please.

15:14 Yeah.

15:15 I ended up giving mom and sister ultimatum to return the car by 5 p.m.

15:19 Nice.

15:20 We called it.

15:20 And if they didn't, I would be reporting them to the police. And if they did, I would let bygones be bygones and move on and move out.

15:27 Great.

15:27 That's a good move.

15:29 Should not live here anymore. And also should hide your keys.

15:32 Hide your keys. Put them in somewhere fun. Put them somewhere fun.

15:35 I even offered to pitch in a bit to help sister get a new vehicle.

15:39 Wow.

15:39 Car has been returned, so the police will not need to get involved. However, I knew it. There is body damage that wasn't there the last time I used it.

15:50 Oh, dang.

15:51 And now an insurance needs to be involved.

15:54 Fun.

15:54 And now we're like, yeah, sister stole my car and damaged it.

15:57 Damaged it. So you had to pay for that, right?

15:59 Can't tell if it was intentional damage or not, but it honestly doesn't matter. We'll be getting all relevant papers in order, and then we'll be lawyering up so the damages are paid for. As soon as this entire situation is resolved, I will be moving out. I have learned to never keep my keys out ever again. Thanks so much, everyone, for your input and advice. To address a lot of the comments I was getting from the initial post, Mom has her own car but doesn't want to lend hers out because she needs it for work every day. I had offered to let her use mine for work and she lent out her car to assist her. But she refuted this idea, saying she doesn't feel comfortable driving my car and that she needs ample space for medical supplies.

16:40 She's a home nurse.

16:42 Yeah, I kind of figured something like this was going to happen.

16:45 Yeah.

16:45 Wow. Could you imagine if you lent your car to her for, say, a month?

16:49 Yeah, she would have kept it forever.

16:50 And it would have been destroyed.

16:52 Yeah, yeah. She would have probably made it worse. Yeah, I was really worried that if you did lend it to her, she would have caused damage. And then you didn't even lend it to her, and she did.

17:01 Lo and behold. Yeah. Ah, get your money back or get the money that you can pay for the damages on the car. Move out.

17:11 Goodbye.

17:11 You don't have to bother you anymore.

17:13 All of the above. But we've got a little bit left. I am well aware that my living situation will change if I call the police on my mom and sister. But honestly, the living situation is already compromised. Regardless of the resolution, I will be moving out as immediately as possible as I am financially stable enough to do so.

17:33 This whole thing is just the straw that broke the camel's back. I have been getting a lot of comments regarding living for free at my mother's house. We split bills 60-40 on basically everything. It's not truly 50-50, but absolutely by no means am I freeloading at my mom's house. And that's the end of the story.

17:50 End of the story, but we're going to look at that picture of the damage of the car.

17:53 So you can see it here. We've got big old dent.

17:57 Oh, that's a huge dent. That's a huge thing.

18:00 Yep, yeah.

18:00 I thought it would be like a small little thing.

18:02 No, that is a big.

18:05 That's huge.

18:05 That is a lot of damage there.

18:07 Okay, to our listeners.

18:09 Look how nice that car is.

18:10 To our listeners, it's a sizable dent.

18:13 Yeah, there's a big dent and there's a lot of scratch marks. It's definitely, it's both, you know, it's both a paint job and also.

18:22 Yeah, it's like towards the front of the car.

18:24 Yeah, it's on the right hand front.

18:26 Not really a fender, but yeah.

18:29 It's like on the corner of it.

18:31 It's sizable.

18:32 Pretty sizable. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Get your money from your terrible sister.

18:37 Get that fixed and get away from them.

18:39 But that's the end of that story and we've got another one coming right up. I banned my daughter's boyfriend from our home and now I'm blamed for their breakup.

18:48 I'd blame you too.

18:49 My daughter, 19 female, has been in a relationship with, let's call him Terry, 22 male, for a few years. My husband and I have no issue with Terry. He's decent and respectful. However, we recently noticed that some of our valuables were starting to go missing. We came up with a plan that we would first ask my son, 16 male, to stop bringing his friends over and see if things still went missing. Then ask my daughter to not bring Terry for the same reason. Just so we could try to scope out who the culprit was. My son complied. However, my husband's watch went missing two weeks later.

19:25 We didn't want to throw a fuss, maybe we misplaced those items. But after a thorough search of our home, cars, and workplace, we realized there's no way they were misplaced. We then asked our daughter to stop bringing Terry home. We said she could make up any excuse to cover the real reason so as not to cause a ruckus just in case. She threw a bit of a tantrum, but understood in the end. By the way, this comes from Throwaway927. and if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash okay story time subreddit. I'm Sophia.

19:56 I'm Kion.

19:57 And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do. So let us know what you would do in the comments. And OP says, a month goes by and nothing else went missing and we still couldn't find what was. I come home from work and see my daughter and Terry sitting in the living room. I asked my daughter to come to another room and expressed my disappointment for her going against my wishes. She said that because nothing else went missing, she thought I was fine and I told her she at least should have asked for my permission.

20:29 I told my daughter to politely ask him to leave and she refused. I took it into my own hands and explained to Terry that he couldn't come over and the reasons behind it. He immediately became defensive and said I was accusing him. My daughter jumped to his defense, but I still asked him to leave.

20:45 I didn't accuse you. I'm just telling you what's going on. How come you got defensive, Terry?

20:49 Why are you so defensive, Terry?

20:52 Why are you sweating a lot?

20:53 Where'd you get that watch from, Terry? It looks pretty new.

20:56 You bought my daughter something new recently.

20:58 Hmm.

20:59 Hmm.

20:59 Later in the week, my daughter comes home crying and screaming that she and Terry broke up and that it's all my fault. I try to console her, but she stormed off to her room and has barely spoken to me for the past week. Am I the ale? And we do have an edit. For clarity, when I spoke to Terry about the missing valuables, I did not accuse him of being the one to steal them. I simply explained that things were going missing and that I did not want anyone from outside of our household to come over until the situation was resolved. I think that's Pretty reasonable.

21:30 I think that's just the truth.

21:31 And I kind of figured OP wasn't, didn't say, we're suspicious of Terry. It was just like, hey, everyone.

21:37 We're just not having people over.

21:38 Just no people over. You can go over to their house. Yeah. Sure, why not? We're trying to figure this out.

21:43 Yeah. Got a mystery to solve. I'm also seeing a few comments regarding the age gap for when they met. My daughter was a month from turning 18 at the time of the meeting, and I believe he turned 20 not long before that. I don't think that's, oh, wait a month from turning 18. So she was 17?

22:04 Maybe like... She was a month from turning 18. A month from 18.

22:07 I mean, she's about to turn 18, but she was 17.

22:10 Hmm.

22:11 I met both him and his parents a few months later, and they were decent people. I did not have an issue. And we do have an update.

22:18 Who do we think the culprit is?

22:19 I think it's Terry.

22:21 I think it's like a rat.

22:22 A rat has been stealing the watch. Yeah.

22:25 His name's Remy.

22:26 He says, I wanted a little bling. Is that a crime?

22:32 What if it was, like, one of the kids?

22:34 Well, I mean, Opie said that none of the kids... Oh, you mean, like.

22:38 Yeah.

22:39 Oh.

22:39 And they stopped.

22:40 Because they realized they were caught.

22:42 Yes.

22:43 Or they realized, hey, everyone, we're a family. No one's stealing anything from here. So... As long as you don't bring friends over, no one's going to be stealing anything, right?

22:53 Yeah.

22:53 Could be one of the kids.

22:55 But maybe.

22:56 But I don't like Terry. I don't trust him.

22:58 Yeah.

22:58 The fact that Terry got upset and butthurt about, I can't come over to your place anymore, and he jumped to the conclusion of, you're accusing me?

23:05 It's like, no.

23:06 No? I never said that. Nope.

23:08 Update.

23:09 This didn't take nearly as long as I thought it would. This morning, my husband and I went to our local pawnbrokers to try to find our missing items.

23:17 Ooh.

23:18 Only two of the stolen items would stand out. One had a specific date engraved and my husband's watch. We went to one pawnbroker that is a branch, so they have a business in basically every town. We've got a little bit left to this story. Any final thoughts?

23:33 I feel like we're going to find out who the culprit was.

23:35 I think we're about to find out. Place your bets down below. Who do you think it was?

23:40 The rat. It's the rat.

23:42 We didn't find anything there, but the worker kindly offered to call other branches in the next towns over. To our delight, we found the date engraved item. They have a privacy policy regarding disclosing the name of the seller, understandable. So we contacted the police and said we found an item in one of the stores. It took them an hour or so to send out an officer to the store and recover the name of the individual who pawned it.

24:06 Do we think that individual was stupid enough to use their actual name?

24:10 It's... Larry.

24:11 Yeah, my name is Larry. We received a call about 30 minutes ago, and turns out it was Terry who pawned the item.

24:22 What an idiot.

24:23 Yikes. Yeah, so stupid. So stupid. And the fact that he broke up with OP's daughter right after, it feels like he just was dating her to steal stuff.

24:34 Yeah, probably.

24:36 Police will be taking further action. I'm guessing they'll pay him a visit. Since we only found one item that was pawned, we're not sure if Terry was solely responsible for the missing items. We can assume.

24:47 Come on.

24:48 Hopefully we can recover the rest and get some answers in the coming days. Thank you to those who offered helpful advice to recover our items and prevent any further ones being taken. And that's the end of the story. Wade, I want to know what your daughter reacted. Like, I want to know what she said when you told her, yeah, your boyfriend stole from us.

25:07 He's innocent!

25:09 He didn't do it. He couldn't have been my Terry.

25:11 No.

25:12 Terry's the nicest guy in the world.

25:14 Yeah. But that's the end of that story, folks. And we've got another one coming right up.

25:19 My niece found out I spot on my son. So I had to come clean first.

25:22 Wait, wait, wait.

25:23 I'm a single dad, 43 years old. I'm a computer programmer. My son, let's call him Jack, who's 17 years old. Jack's mom passed away when he was 10. But thankfully, we both handled our grief together quite well. When Jack got his first laptop, which was five years ago, I took my time explaining how the internet worked, the dangers, etc.

25:44 I allowed him to create a social media account as long as he allowed me to check on it whenever I wanted, which was a privilege. I made use of it a few times until he turned 15, and I realized I could trust him, having never asked for it since then. He allowed me to know where he stored his account passwords just in case, but I never really looked for them. So social media and computer activity have been a complete mystery to me in the last couple of years. By the way, this comes from user SpyDadThrowaway.

26:09 If you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit. I'm Keon.

26:13 I'm Sophia.

26:14 And we're here to give good advice goofily. We're just goofy goobers. We don't know everything. We only know what we do. So let us know what you do in the comments down below. Pretty please, as Opie says. However, I was always fearful he would try to hide something or get into something dangerous. So I installed a keylogger just in case. Always thinking about his safety. I don't know about that.

26:35 I mean, honestly... I kind of don't, as much as I've just said, you know, I do think there should be monitoring, especially with minors on the internet. I don't love the sneakiness, especially because he seems like pretty reasonable and was like, yeah, of course, like, you know, monitor me.

26:55 Until he's 15 or like, OK, you're just.

26:57 Let him know my passwords.

26:59 Yeah.

26:59 He seems like OK with it.

27:01 Yeah.

27:01 His Jack was very upfront until he was 15. And then he said, you're 15. You know what? We've done this. I trust you.

27:07 Yeah.

27:08 It's not like Jack was like, I want my freedom. I don't want you to look my stuff. He was like, you can look at my stuff.

27:13 And then he still went, I trust him, but I don't trust him.

27:16 Yeah, I would. feel pretty bad about that if I was Jack.

27:21 Are you doing it for his safety, OP, or are you doing it for your safety, OP?

27:25 Yeah, I just feel like if you were actually, you know, if you wanted to do it in a proper way while respecting Jack and also caring about his safety, I would have just told him.

27:36 Yeah, and Jack's trust, yeah.

27:37 Yeah, I would be like, hey, I'm going to monitor a couple times just because I want to make sure you're being safe.

27:42 Yeah.

27:44 Just be upfront with him. Yeah.

27:46 OP says... I never had to use it, and the more I watched him grow up, I eventually realized I would never really use it, but I never bothered to remove it. My sister and I were talking about this in a casual conversation regarding privacy and privacy apps, and my niece overheard us. Jack and her were born the same year. She got offended I would do such a thing, claiming it was a horrible invasion of Jack's privacy and that I should be ashamed, and the only reason she hasn't told my son was because my sister told her she'd ground her for meddling in my parenting. So, Reddit, am I the a-hole for having installed a keylogger even though I've never used it? And we have an update.

28:23 I think you would have been the a-hole had you used it.

28:27 I think you, the fact that you said I never used it, I feel like you should have at least told your son.

28:33 Yeah, I think so.

28:34 Because what if he does, what if the son does find it and be like, what is this?

28:38 But now you can tell him. You can be like, hey, just so you know, I did install this thing. I've never used it.

28:44 Yeah.

28:44 Interesting.

28:44 Interesting.

28:45 And you can even make that a moment of like, hey, I had a thing where I got really worried about your safety. And then I realized I fully trust you. Yeah. So I have never used it. But it is there.

28:55 Yeah.

28:56 We just want to make sure. I feel like where Denise is coming from is like, oh, my gosh, you're a helicopter parent. Yeah. How dare you spy on him?

29:04 I don't know. I had friends whose parents used Life 360.

29:09 Yeah.

29:09 My parents did not have that for me.

29:12 Yeah.

29:12 Yeah.

29:13 I didn't go anywhere, so.

29:15 My parents just used the honor system.

29:17 Yeah, I mean, like, I didn't go anywhere, and then when I was in college, I, like, gave them my, I wanted them to have my education.

29:24 You never know.

29:25 So, like, I don't know.

29:28 I don't think it's any of your niece's business how you parent.

29:30 Truly.

29:31 But, of course, she is the, you know, 16 year old is gonna be like that's enough like yeah of course she's gonna be like that because at that age you're like yes I am an adult I am you know these adults can't tell me what to do these parents can't tell me what to.

29:46 Do there's also very different because like yeah that's my relationship with my son yeah you know it's different we've we're pretty good but I think.

29:54 You've done no irrevocable damage I think you could easily remedy this.

29:58 And I feel like Jack would be like yeah it's fine Yeah, I don't think he would care that much. We do have an update.

30:03 Oh, boy.

30:03 Do we think OP is going to admit it to Jack?

30:06 Yeah, I think OP is going to be like, hey, this is what happened.

30:09 Yeah.

30:10 So, this blew up.

30:11 Oh.

30:12 Uh-oh.

30:13 I read all the comments, and I really appreciate the insight on both sides, which I will not comment nor give my opinion on, since a verdict is a verdict. Each person is entitled to their own opinion, but I want you to know that I took into consideration of all of them, even with the majority considering me an a-hole.

30:29 I just disagree. OP didn't go far enough to be an a-hole.

30:34 I'm trying to think of, like, what is very similar to it, but again, I feel like OP should have been up front.

30:40 I completely agree. I just think because he never used it, like, it's just kind of a, like, it's like, hey, you shouldn't do that.

30:47 I'm trying to think of what's a good, like, other way. It's like, oh, yeah, I have a pew-pew. Like, it's just there. I don't have to use it. That's not the same, like, same correlation.

30:56 Yeah, it's hard to, like, You would have been the a-hole had you used it without his knowledge. But like, I don't think you are because you never used it. You just kind of thought about it. And maybe that's like a mistake to have thought about it. But like, we're human.

31:09 Yeah.

31:09 But still tell him, of course.

31:11 Yeah. It took me two days of pondering, especially with the threat of my niece telling Jack everything, before I sat him down and I talked to him. I came out clean, told him about the keylogger, then explained why I did it to him and how it worked. Jack believed me when I told him I had never looked at anything. We both shared a laugh when he told me he believed me because, A, I am a complete airhead, so it is perfectly believable I forgot about the keylogger for years, and B, he admitted to have watched Korn, and he is sure I would have commented on it because both my sister and I both openly dislike Korn and that industry. He told me he isn't mad at me, that he's glad I told him about it now instead of, say,

31:49 20 years from now, and that he would have done the same thing in my situation. Keylogger and everything. I showed him how to remove it and how to look for it in further devices. And we had a look at a few laptops together. I ended up buying him a new one and helped him set it up. Yes, there are no keyloggers on the new laptop. He let me know the password he used in case it was necessary.

32:11 He was like, Dad, delete my search history.

32:13 Please.

32:14 If I pass away.

32:15 Please, you have to.

32:16 Regarding my niece, she didn't tell him anything. But my sister and I had a conversation with them at the same time over dinner. My niece used the same argument as many of you did, with it being the same as reading a diary, and it was one that both my sister and I agreed with. I, like, yes. There we go, that's one.

32:33 But I think it's more like if a diary had a little, like, It was one of those like diaries with a lock and key.

32:39 And you had the key.

32:40 And you had the key, but you never.

32:42 But you put it back. I know what it is.

32:44 Yeah.

32:44 Or it's like the code. Yeah, like a code.

32:46 And you like figured out the code.

32:48 Yeah.

32:49 And you could absolutely go and read it at any time. And your son didn't know that, but you never did. Like, I feel like it's more like that.

32:55 Yeah. Let us know in the comments because we don't have kids.

32:59 Yeah.

33:00 Maybe it's like if you had like a little diary had a key and you made a copy of the key and then but you never used it.

33:06 Yeah.

33:06 There you go.

33:07 Yeah. Yeah.

33:08 I don't know if my parents did this with me personally. I would be upset because it's like you don't trust me kind of thing.

33:14 But then finding out that they never used it because they trust you. I feel like that would be kind of nice.

33:19 But it'd be like, OK, then I'm never going to use it because I'm like, I mean, I know you're not going to use it, but like, don't like this. Don't like this.

33:26 I don't know. It seems like.

33:28 I can see both sides.

33:29 They got a new computer. No keylogger.

33:32 Yeah.

33:33 I think it shows how good of a relationship OP and his son have.

33:36 Yes.

33:37 Which is nice.

33:37 Alrighty.

33:38 My sister was admittedly much stricter with her daughter than I was with my son since she checked her texts, Instagram, Facebook, WhatsApp messages. But she admitted it was because of her massive fear that everything that is uploaded to the internet lasts forever.

33:53 I mean, yeah.

33:54 And she was afraid of things like Spicy pics being leaked, undesired contact with bad people, cyberbullying, or any possible hurtful things.

34:02 Which is like, yes, you should monitor, but it's also a lot about, you know, having those conversations very early on about what happens when you post that type of stuff. And saying like, hey, you can do it when you're older and stuff, but... Like that, you know, it follows you forever.

34:19 It's crazy because.

34:21 And do it with people you trust.

34:22 Yes. It's crazy because we grew up with this, but I feel like I really grew up with this because internet wasn't really a thing or like messaging people or like Instagram, social media.

34:33 Did you ever have like a day in school where they have like a safety talk?

34:36 Yes.

34:37 Yes.

34:37 We had that and it became like a, it was like a brand new thing. They're like, we're having an internet safety talk.

34:43 Same.

34:43 Yeah.

34:43 It was in fifth grade. No, maybe fifth or sixth grade, I remember we had an internet safety talk, and they were like, don't send inappropriate pics online. Don't go onto these types of websites.

34:59 Yeah, it was like.

35:00 I was like.

35:02 It was like, oh, don't go to these websites. And you as a child, you're like, I'm going to that website today.

35:07 Right now.

35:07 I'm doing it right now, so to speak.

35:09 No, it scared me. I was like, oh, my God, I can never do that.

35:11 No, the big thing was like, again, anything on the internet lasts forever.

35:15 Yeah.

35:15 It was a big, yeah, which I think it's super important to have those classes really early on.

35:21 Opie continues saying they ended up agreeing to disagreeing and my sister promised to start trusting my niece more with these kinds of things. Since she knows she won't be able to do anything about it once she turns 18. I want to thank you all for the feedback and for your suggestions over how I should handle this. Even the ones who called me an a-hole. I felt like I owed you this update.

35:39 I feel like Opie's a really good dad, honestly.

35:41 Yeah, I feel like his relationship with Jack, totally cool.

35:43 Yeah, it's like.

35:45 The fact that Jack was like, yeah, there's corn on there. I'm literally a teenager.

35:49 Jack seems like such a good kid. He's just like, that's okay. I get it. This is what's on there right now. You can also have my password.

35:55 There's some weird stuff on there. Yeah, he's like, if you.

35:58 Want to look at it, I guess.

36:00 Do you want to watch it? Do you want to see it? Are you intrigued?

36:03 And Opie's dad's like, no. Or Opie's like, no, I don't. He's like, that's my thought, dad.

36:08 But that is the end of that story, and we have another one coming right up.

36:12 Hey, it's Carly, your favorite axolotl host here. We're going to get back to the stories, but here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

36:21 I kept my cousin's affair secret for years, but I couldn't any longer.

36:25 I can't keep doing this.

36:28 So, my cousin is 33, married with a five-year-old daughter who constantly cheats on her husband. We and I have watched it go on for years. I can't handle keeping her secret anymore. I've been struggling lately with my cousin's infidelity to the point I don't sleep. When my cousin was pregnant with her daughter, she was in between her ex, a fling, and a guy who was nothing but bad news.

36:51 She honestly didn't know whose baby it was until the due date and calculated which one it could be. She took a guess and it was her now husband's baby. To be clear, that was her ex at the time because she said she needed space for herself. Fast forward, over the past few years, she's been cheating on her husband.

37:07 And at one point, she was working two jobs, and my grandmother basically raised her daughter. The free time she did have, she went out to the clubs, and she met with the guy she was seeing. A few years ago, I was at a bar with my friends, and I see my cousin strolling hand in hand with a guy that, guess what, wasn't her husband. I knew that my grandmother was watching her daughter, and her cop husband was pulling overtime.

37:31 Uh-oh.

37:32 I lost it, and I made a scene, and she left. By the way, this comes from user BeneficialShow972. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit. I'm Keon.

37:44 I'm Sophia.

37:45 And we're Goofy Goobers. We only know goofy things, guys. We don't know everything. We only know what we do. So let us know what you do in the comments down below. Pretty please. After that, she knew I wasn't happy about what she was doing and didn't support it at all. So she was secretive about her side flings.

38:01 So over the past few years, she's had long-term flings back to back. I found this out through other family members. I know every little detail now. They all knew and continue to know about what she's doing behind her husband's back. Honestly, my family tends to brush it off. They've talked to her and her words are, he won't find out. He doesn't make me happy anyways. This is what he gets.

38:22 Holy crap, I'm telling him right now.

38:24 Immediately, immediately, I'm going, girly pop, leave him.

38:28 Mind you, he has bought house for her and their daughter.

38:31 Yeah, I know. That's why she hasn't left them.

38:33 She wouldn't be able to survive financially without him. My mom tells me to keep my mouth shut because it would cause catastrophic outcomes.

38:42 Good.

38:42 For who?

38:43 Her?

38:44 Great!

38:45 But in my opinion, this is her own doing. The last few years suck around the holidays because her husband comes around and we all know what she's doing, but no one has said a thing.

38:56 Oh, I feel so bad for this guy.

38:58 You guys are all the a-holes.

39:00 Truly.

39:01 Now to present day. Over the weekend, my cousin went MIA after going to the club with a friend. My mom and I woke up to texts from her husband asking if we knew where she was.

39:11 Stop. Oh, how heartbreaking once this guy figures out that the whole family knew and didn't tell him.

39:17 I'm cutting ties with all of you.

39:19 Yeah, no.

39:19 Open secret.

39:21 Taking my daughter.

39:22 We're leaving.

39:23 Gone.

39:24 Moving, moving. Devastating once he finds out.

39:26 Don't talk to me at ever again i hate you all oh.

39:30 Yeah just like be prepared for when you do if you ever do tell this guy i'll never talk to.

39:34 You again you you literally saw a giant fire yeah and you went not my problem not my problem not my circus i was clueless her husband ends up texting me saying supposedly she was going out to dance with friends, and now I can't get a hold of her. If this doesn't resolve quickly, I'm going to put a report out for her. Again, he's a cop, so.

39:55 Yeah, he's like, she's not home. Where is she?

39:57 What got me was the supposedly. I think he's skeptical. The story we got was she lost her phone at the club, drove her friend home at sunrise, then went to see a friend. She didn't say which friend. We know it's a guy. She had her husband and daughter wondering. My mom talked to her and told her, your husband smells something is off. get your crap together and get a divorce. This isn't right. My cousin just laughs it off and says, he's not going to find out. If you just keep playing, just keep acting like that. I hate you so much.

40:27 I'm going to, hey, you know what?

40:28 He's on the phone right now. Yeah.

40:30 That's so funny. You just found out.

40:32 Ring, ring.

40:33 Opie continues saying, this made me really mad because if I were him, I would want someone to tell me. I know if I do tell him, it's going to cause problems within the family because I snitched. I really don't know what to do and how to tell him. We have some comments.

40:46 Your family low-key sucks.

40:48 Everyone sucks in your family.

40:49 Yeah.

40:50 Why is everyone letting it happen?

40:52 I don't know.

40:52 If you want to be like, hey, I need to tell you something, don't tell people that it came from me.

40:57 Or, I don't know, because the fact that everyone knows.

41:00 Yeah.

41:00 Just anonymously send, she's cheating on you. And then watch your family unfold.

41:05 Yeah, then your family will be like, who said it? Who said it?

41:07 You said it? They said it?

41:08 No.

41:09 No.

41:10 He just found out that his wife was cheating on him because she's not sneaky about it. Oh boy, these comments are going to grill you. Commenter says, I think families try to pretend it's not happening out of fear of judgment or losing family members out of anger. If it hadn't been you, she would have slipped up or it would have been someone else telling him. All you did was speed up the inevitable. That's exactly what happens.

41:34 The family didn't say anything out of fear because my cousin would cut us out of her life. And we couldn't see her daughter, which has never happened. But my cousin can be vindictive. And because we already know the type of mom she is, I think everyone just didn't say anything because of her daughter, which is insane. You think you would do this for her daughter? Yeah. But I now realize the environment my niece is growing in isn't good. No child should see a loveless marriage. I just don't want her being permanently effed up because I never said anything. But I know now this doesn't get fixed.

42:05 She will have issues because of her mom. I don't disown family because we're blood and my cousin is good to me. But I can't be an enabler anymore.

42:14 Oh boy.

42:15 Please just, yes. You've waited too long already. Let's get to the chase. Let's cut to that chase.

42:21 I like how everyone's afraid that your cousin's going to cut you guys off.

42:24 Yeah.

42:25 Like, why do we even want, I mean, like, I think they just want the daughter around.

42:29 The niece. But, okay, great.

42:31 Yeah.

42:31 Bye, your daughter and her father. I mean, I don't think, honestly, now it's your fault. If that's what you guys were afraid of, the father could be like, I'm taking my daughter away from you guys because she doesn't deserve you.

42:41 Yeah, I think he probably would.

42:42 I don't blame him. I have an update here. Well, after I made this post almost two years ago.

42:48 Oh, wow.

42:49 Two years?

42:50 Dang.

42:51 I forgot about it.

42:52 I never thought I'd ever bring this up again. My cousin's husband vented to me today about the complications in his marriage. My cousin was fouled by her husband today and on their daughter's birthday simply because she didn't want his old family military pictures to be in the backdrop.

43:07 You're joking me.

43:09 Your cousin is a demon.

43:11 It's been two years and you still have not told this guy?

43:17 You're the a-hole.

43:17 All of you are a-holes except him and his daughter.

43:20 Big old a-hole.

43:22 It didn't sit well with me and I'm finally in a place in my life where I have strong moral foundation where I can confront things head on that do bother me.

43:29 You suck. You're the a-hole. You're a big time a-hole.

43:32 I am tired of you, OP. I'm tired of everyone else.

43:34 Yeah, I hate OP. Get this husband out of there. He needs a better life. So.

43:40 My cousin actually went out clubbing and I told the husband I have his back and to not let her walk over him. You do not have his back. Yeah.

43:48 You're like, I have your back, but you're like tripping him. Yeah.

43:51 I've got your back.

43:52 You're pushing him down.

43:54 Backstory. My family is Latin and they only speak Spanish and he's American, so he's pretty isolated.

44:00 Oh my God. I... Almost can like say for a fact that these people have talked like in front of him about him being cheated on, but.

44:10 Probably just in Spanish. He has no family here on his own. My cousin is the active duty personnel. Well, tonight I finally told him everything.

44:20 It only took freaking like six years.

44:23 Too long. Way too long. And I feel like dog crap. I picked the worst timing. Because I told him Thanksgiving week where we have back-to-back family events. You told him during Thanksgiving week?

44:34 You suck. You are the worst. You're the problem in this story.

44:37 Family sucks. I didn't realize the shockwave this could cause my whole family and even my relationship with my niece who I love like my own.

44:45 You didn't realize this would cause a shockwave in your family? You're so dumb.

44:51 The cat's out of the bag and there's no taking it back.

44:54 Honestly.

44:55 I feel like I'm the ale here.

44:56 Yeah.

44:57 What?

44:58 Yeah.

44:59 Wow.

45:00 Wow.

45:01 Wow.

45:03 You're a genius. So, B, how'd you come up with that?

45:06 I should have listened to my family about not saying anything.

45:09 No.

45:09 No, you.

45:10 You've learned nothing. You freaking suck. You and your family.

45:14 You've learned nothing.

45:15 I just hope I didn't cause irreparable damage to my niece. Sometimes I think it's better to lack empathy.

45:21 You lack any brains.

45:25 I want to go to your family gathering, put your niece and her father away to the side and be like, hey, earmuffs, I'm looking at all of you. I'm pointing and going, F you, F you, F you, F you. Where's your cousin? F you to the max.

45:41 Big F you to her.

45:43 You guys suck. The fact that you're like, ah!

45:44 This was a bad idea. Oh, I can't imagine how much the comments are roasting you. Cause the fact that you, after two years, cause I imagine that she's been dating or she's been with her husband for.

45:54 Maybe at least multiple, at least a year. I don't know.

45:57 Well, they have a kid.

45:58 Yes.

45:59 So probably let's say like minimum six years. And then plus the two years that we waited for the update. So let's say we're at like eight years of this marriage of her cheating on her husband and everyone knowing that And then your conclusion is, maybe I'm the a-hole. Shouldn't have told him.

46:20 Remember when OP said, I can't sleep at night because of this.

46:22 Yeah.

46:23 Shut up. Shut up.

46:24 You suck.

46:25 You suck.

46:26 You're the worst.

46:26 You, your family.

46:27 Yeah, I hate your cousin.

46:29 Suck.

46:30 But I think I hate you the most.

46:31 No, I hate the cousin the most because she's actively cheating on her husband and family.

46:36 But I think just because OP has presented me this story, I hate them the most.

46:41 No, I hate all of you.

46:42 You're all the worst. You're all the worst.

46:44 But I think the top one is the one who's cheating and actively cheating and keeps saying, he's not going to find out.

46:51 Cousin is the worst because she's an a-hole and she's like the biggest a-hole. OP is the worst because you told me the story and you're stupid.

47:00 And your family sucks. Dishonor on all your family.

47:03 Dishonor on everyone and your cow.

47:05 From here on out.

47:06 Yeah.

47:07 But that is the end of that story.

47:10 My wife's car was stolen a month ago. Now she's leaving my keys in my car.

47:16 Well, I feel like we know how it got stolen.

47:19 There have been car thieves roaming around our area for a few months now. It's a huge problem and they've boosted a ton of cars. My wife has this awful habit of leaving her keys in her car and the car unlocked. I told her on multiple occasions to not do that.

47:35 Her response is.

47:36 That she grew up in this town and that it's safe. I told her she knows that there are car thieves roaming around and that she's just making it easier for them. Sure enough, just over a month ago, her car was stolen right out of our driveway overnight. She had left her keys in the car, her purse with ID and debit and credit cards, all of which had to be canceled, as well as an astonishing $ 3, 000 worth of various gym equipment in the trunk.

48:03 What? $ 3, 000 of gym equipment in the trunk? She's a personal trainer. Yeah, I hate to break it to you, buddy. Your wife's a little stupid. I get it.

48:13 My dad used to do this all the time. Well, no, my mom would do this. Uh-oh. Well, my mom would put her keys in the car, not lock it, but close the garage.

48:25 Oh, well, that's different. It's in the garage.

48:28 Yeah, but they ended.

48:28 Up breaking through the side garage door and then getting it. I mean, they didn't steal her car.

48:34 It's in the garage. It's like, I'll give you that. It's in the garage.

48:38 The car and insurance are both in my name as I'm the sole income for our family and I've had to deal with the entire insurance process. Cut to today. My wife has been using my car for a few days now as we're past the 30-day rental car period and had to give the rental car back. She comes home from the gym and I ask her for my keys.

48:58 She tells me they're in the car. I ask her to please get them. She says she's going back out again soon. I ask calmly one more time. And she says her car was stolen at night. They're not going to steal in broad daylight.

49:13 Yes, they will.

49:14 It may be easier at night, but that doesn't stop them.

49:19 The sun doesn't stop. I lose my crap. Hurl some nasty words, and her response is that all she's learned is to keep her mouth shut and just not tell.

49:29 Me anything next time. That's not the lesson here.

49:32 Honestly, if that's what you learned, I'm divorcing you.

49:35 Are you serious?

49:37 Are you kidding me?

49:39 I'd be so annoyed.

49:40 I'd be like, why can't, just like make it a habit to not do that now.

49:44 End of story. There we go.

49:45 Now none of our stuff is, you know, I get like, oh, I'm going back out. Like me, I would do the same thing if I was going like back out, you know, in a little bit. But the thing is, now I have to bring my keys with me because I need my keys to open my door.

49:59 It's crazy. This is insane.

50:01 This is the same logic of like you use the bathroom and it's like, did you wipe?

50:06 No, I'm going to use the bathroom again later.

50:07 It's just like the stupidest thing you could possibly say. But now all I've learned is to tell you is to not tell you whether or not I wipe.

50:17 Shut up. I divorce you.

50:19 I refuse to be married to someone with this level of stupidity in their brain.

50:24 By the way, this comes from Deleted. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit.

50:30 I'm Savannah.

50:31 I'm Dakota.

50:32 And we are here to give some good advice goofily, but we don't have all your answers.

50:35 So what we're going to do is tell you what we would do. But let us know what you would do down in the comments. And Opie says.

50:41 I'm definitely an a-hole here for the yelling, but I need to know if everyone sucks here. I literally feel like I'm living in the Twilight Zone or something. I cannot understand my wife's line of thinking here. I cannot possibly exist in the same universe as someone who left their keys in their car, had it stolen, and then left their husband's keys in his car just.

51:02 Over a month later.

51:03 Am I the a-hole?

51:05 Fun fact, both of those cars were yours. They were under your name. You paid for them. You make all the money. And it's like, yeah, whatever. That's neither here nor there. But like, honestly, brother, you probably did it better than I would have lost. I would have left.

51:21 I would have left immediately just from the sheer idiocy of that behavior. And on a more sensitive level, she's probably just really embarrassed at her, you know, and she's trying to like be like.

51:34 Well, why? No, it's like, well, they stole it. And I was like, oh, blah, blah, blah. But it's like, I don't care how embarrassed you are. You got to not do that ever again.

51:42 Yeah.

51:43 Plus, I don't know.

51:44 Is she?

51:45 I mean, I doubt she's trying to like prove a point here that, oh, it's not going to get stolen twice, you know, but I don't know. You just I think now that you've let the anger out, come back to the situation and have a nice calming conversation and, you know, see if she deflects or gets defensive, then then that's a red flag.

52:04 Update.

52:05 First of all, thank you everyone who took time out of their day to read this, comment on it, or message me. 99.9% of responses were thoughtful, helpful, and legitimate. That's impressive for Reddit, or any social media platform these days, lol. As for an actual update, I will just lay out where we currently are. I think I took bits and pieces of everybody's advice here, and there's likely further to go still, but it's a start. For starters, we bought another vehicle today. There's plenty of tech like app-based remote start, lock, unlock, engine control without the key fob present, and GPS location capability.

52:41 All great features, but of course, still nullified if she leaves the keys in the car again. She's admitted that she's got a bad habit, and she's trying to break it. Still doesn't explain her doubling down the other day when I wrote this, but I'll chalk that up to a very strange defense mechanism. She is going to try harder to change her habit and not get annoyed at me when I ask every time she comes or goes. Do you have your keys and purse with you?

53:05 It's very sweet that you guys are working this out.

53:09 I'd still be so annoyed.

53:10 You know what I would get? I would get the my dad does this. So he has obviously everyone has like two pairs of keys and whatever. He has one pair of keys that he like carries around. And then he always has my mom has the other pair in her car. But the one that he carries around, he does leave in the car and he locks the car.

53:32 But he it has one of those like keypad things. So he could just do the keypad thing and get in. Like, I think that's very smart.

53:40 No, not really. Not going to lie. One is the obsession with keeping the key in the car. Dude.

53:45 Yeah.

53:45 If someone just looks in the car and goes, oh, the key is in there.

53:49 Bang.

53:50 Break the window. Unlock the car. I'm out.

53:53 He had a little thing for it. There was like this little thing that would like open and you'd close it.

53:58 I guess.

53:58 But just take what's... Just take the key inside, you freaks. What's wrong with all of you?

54:03 I'm just saying if like it's a habit and she can't break it and it's like impossible and she just constantly forgets, having that feature is like a little better.

54:11 You know what would immediately break that habit for me?

54:14 Divorce.

54:15 No, getting my car stolen would make me go, oh... I should never, ever, ever do that again, huh?

54:22 All right, let's finish it up.

54:23 Finally, as a bit of self-preservation for myself and to hopefully help her feel more ownership, she's the primary on the new vehicle I co-signed, of course, as the sole income earner in the household, and she's going to get her own insurance policies separate from mine. Unfortunately for now, I carry the stolen car claim, but that will fade over time. If there are any future issues, at least that will be in her name and on her policy. Anyway, this was much longer of an update than I intended, but I thought you all deserve some kind of closure. Again, thank you for all of your time.

54:54 You did good, Reddit. And that's all.

54:58 So, sounds like she didn't really learn her lesson, though. But, I don't know, maybe over time you've worked on it and things get better.

55:05 I don't know.

55:07 I'm hoping they do, because, yeah, I think it was a good idea to put it in her name, though. And like for her to get her insurance because you had to go through all of that with the stolen car. So now she may feel like more of a sense of responsibility because it's in her name. It's her car per se, you know.

55:23 I don't know.

55:24 Sometimes that happens. So I wish you guys best of luck.

55:27 I'm just done. I'm so done. I'm just immediately like checked out.

55:32 The thing about habits is that you can break them. It takes some time and dedication and, you know, work ethic and some encouragement. Probably from your partner, friends and family, but.

55:42 It's possible.

55:44 It's proven time and time again.

55:47 And that's the end of this story.

55:48 We're going to go to the next one.

55:49 Hey, it's Angie, your favorite fake redhead host here.

55:54 And we're going to get back to the stories. But here's a three-minute ad break from our sponsors.

56:00 I refused to change my name after marriage, and it made my husband move out.

56:05 Well, was it worth it?

56:07 My husband, 30 male, and I.

56:08 28 female, got married a little over a year ago. Anyway, I ordered DoorDash for us for lunch yesterday, and when it arrived, he got it from the porch, as one does. When he came back to the kitchen, he was visibly upset, and when I asked what was wrong, he asked me why my last initial on the order was still my maiden name. I told him I never really thought about it.

56:30 He asked me to change it, but I refused and told him he was overreacting because it wasn't that important as it's only for the Dasher to get whatever we ordered from the restaurant, and you don't even have to put your real name.

56:43 Holy crap, this is stupid.

56:45 This is dumb on both sides.

56:47 Okay, keep going. I am astonished.

56:50 He blew up and wouldn't talk to me for hours.

56:54 He eventually said if I was ashamed of using his last name, then I should just say so. And without letting me speak, he left to stay at his parents' house. You know what's really stupid? I guarantee you on the receipt, it doesn't even have your last name. It's probably the, like, for me, it'd be like M.

57:10 Not even. This is stupid.

57:12 This is very dumb.

57:13 He hasn't responded to any of my texts or calls for the last 24 hours.

57:17 But I still have his location, and he is indeed at his parents' house.

57:21 Honey, why are you here? Why aren't you at home with your wife? Her name on the receipt was her maiden name!

57:27 She didn't change her last name on Dorda.

57:30 She don't love me.

57:31 Honestly, at this point, I have no idea what to think. By the way, this comes from AliDom45.

57:35 If you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash ok story time subreddit.

57:39 I'm Dakota.

57:40 I'm Keon.

57:40 We're gonna read this stupid little tale we have here.

57:43 My brain hurts.

57:43 We're going to have our own thoughts. You get to agree or disagree. It's okay. Let us know in the comments.

57:49 And OP says, Am I the a-hole for not changing it when he asked? Or is this a start to something much bigger?

57:55 This is so stupid. I'm sorry. Okay. I see both sides of it on how both of it, both, it's just very, each side, stupid. You know what you should do? Change your name to like Optimus Prime. Make it fun.

58:07 Change your name to Big Chungus.

58:09 Chimichungus. There you go.

58:10 We've never had an argument like this and have had a perfect marriage and relationship otherwise. I just feel like I don't know the man I'm married to anymore.

58:17 Are you serious? That's how far you're taking this?

58:22 Both of you are taking this way too far for something that's really freaking stupid.

58:26 Oh my God. Well, there's an update. I am definitely an idiot. But the best lessons are learned firsthand. A few days after my original post, he came home. A few days.

58:39 Oh my gosh, you guys are children. Or acting like it. You guys are full-fledged adults. You're acting like children.

58:45 His mother had called me, and we have always been on fairly good speaking terms, and asked what was going on, since he wouldn't tell her. I explained the situation, and she told me she was very disappointed in him for starting all this over something so simple, regardless of if I was willing to change it or not.

59:03 Oh my gosh, there's an actual adult in this story.

59:06 Anyway... He came home and apologized with the most sincere apology I've ever received in my life.

59:12 Or so I thought.

59:14 This weekend, his job had a Labor Day party where all his co-workers and their families were invited over to the boss's house. We don't normally go to these sorts of things because our families are usually doing things the same day. But this time we decided to go since my children were with their dad and our families were out of town. We get there and I'm meeting a lot of new people, but I'm most looking forward to meeting Danny. The guy I assumed was his best friend since he's always talking about him.

59:41 Danny.

59:42 is nowhere to be found, until this absolutely gorgeous woman walks in, and it turns out Dani is actually Dani, short for Danielle.

59:51 I kept my cool at the.

59:52 Omission of her gender, but it all clicked when her and I had a conversation. She is probably one of the most progressive women I've ever met, but not in an aggressive manner. Apparently my husband made a fool of himself to her as well by saying her fiancé wasn't a real man because he's okay with that. She told him off and didn't speak to him for a few days.

1:00:25 She said he.

1:00:26 Apologized, get this, before he apologized to me. Anyway, it turns out that whole argument was just a projection of his own inner feelings and the discrepancy between him and Danny. I kept my cool at the party, but in the conversation I had with him later, he admitted to having a crush on her.

1:00:42 Yeah, I was about to say.

1:00:43 Shocking.

1:00:44 It makes so much sense that he would say, oh, he's not a real man.

1:00:49 I can show you a real man.

1:00:51 Yeah, it's like, what? So you've got a crush on her? Dude, just like, ugh.

1:00:56 Like I said, acting like a preteen.

1:00:58 This guy's the most ugh guy. I was so livin' and hurt by this that I booted him out. I'm gonna be calling divorce lawyers today because I'm done and will not spend the rest of my life worrying if he has something going on with one of his coworkers. I'm just thankful that the house was mine before we got married.

1:01:16 That's crazy. All it took was ordering food, ordering takeout, having your name not even have his last name, and this all just imploded. Obviously, it was projections from him, So stupid.

1:01:28 I don't even know if I'm happy that y'all are divorced. I don't know if I could be happy about any of that. I'm just happy it's over.

1:01:34 Me too.

1:01:35 But good luck on your divorce, guys.

1:01:38 And that's the end of this story.