I HID my girlfriend from my sister… and we’ve been together for two years! -r/BestofRedditorUpdates | Reddit Stories | EP3115

0:00 Ayo, it's Riley here.

0:01 And this is Angie, your favorite OK Storytime hosts. And we've got some great stories coming up.

0:06 But before we read these crazy stories, we have a tuna break from the sponsors that keep the show alive.

0:13 I hid my girlfriend from my sister and we've been together for two years.

0:18 Now, why'd you do that?

0:20 Three years ago, my parents passed away within two months of each other and my sister, seven female siblings.

0:25 Only four at the time. I'm starting to immediately understand why we did this.

0:29 At the time, I, 25 male, was just out of college, but I had been hired by a company that recruited employees from top colleges.

0:37 In my field.

0:38 Like? We don't really have any other family that I'd be remotely comfortable leaving her to, so I decided upon taking her in myself.

0:46 Taking care of her has.

0:47 Definitely been a challenge for me, but I've adjusted, and it's been an incredibly rewarding experience, and I wouldn't have it any other way. My current girlfriend, 25, female, and I met during a conference that I attended and really hit it off immediately. We have a lot in common and really seem to mesh very well. Our conversations are almost effortless, and being together with her feels very natural.

1:10 We've been together for a year and nine months at this point, and we've had a very fulfilling relationship so far. I told her from the beginning that I take care of my younger sister, and she said that she didn't mind at all and that she likes children. By the way, this comes from MattressBot. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash ok story time subreddit.

1:30 I'm Dakota.

1:30 I'm Sophia.

1:31 I'm Keon.

1:32 And we're going to read this story and give our little good advice, goofaliz, but we don't have all the answers. So let us know what you think in the comments and OP says. Recently, we've been discussing what our future together would look like. She says that she's in no hurry for us to get married and that at the end of the day, it's just a piece of paper and that she just wants to be with me regardless of the formalities around it.

1:52 Sounds like someone's ready for a secret wedding.

1:56 She said that from what I've told her, that my sister sounds great and that she'd really like to meet her. She also added that she's not pressuring me about it and that she totally understands if I'm uncomfortable with the idea. We've been dating for a good chunk of time and it's approaching two years now. My main reason for being reluctant about introducing my girlfriend to my sister is that my sister has already dealt with more loss than most children go through in their entire childhood. I'm hesitant about the possibility of her getting attached to my girlfriend and something going awry.

2:25 But you kind of have to make that risk in many different areas of life. You know, nothing lasts forever and you can't guarantee that it will, but you have to take a risk.

2:36 Yeah.

2:39 I definitely want my girlfriend to be my long-term partner. I've thought about it a lot and I love her and want us to spend our lives together. What is the right thing for me to do here? Should I put off introducing my girlfriend to my sister for now? How long would it be an acceptable time frame for something like this? There are some relevant comments, but I would just tell you, brother, if that's how you feel about your girlfriend, just introduce her to your sister.

3:02 You said you want her to be your longtime partner. Then introduce her.

3:08 The time is now.

3:10 Don't let fear get in your way.

3:12 Relevant comments. From a deleted user, how have you managed to be with your girlfriend for almost two years without her and your sister meeting? OP says, I've only ever brought her over to my house whenever my sister wanted to have sleepovers at her friend's house. When I've met with their parents, of course. Otherwise, I'd hire a babysitter I trust while I'm out. And there is an update.

3:34 Let's get into it.

3:36 I'm going to assume that you told your sister about your girlfriend and everything went well.

3:42 I would hope so.

3:43 Well, after posting here and asking some of my acquaintances who had experience with this kind of issue, most of whom said that six months would have been sufficient, I decided to bite.

3:52 The bullet and introduce the two.

3:54 I decided upon taking the three of us out ice skating, an activity my sister really enjoys. At first, my girlfriend wasn't so good, but she started to get the hang of it, and we had a really great time.

4:05 Afterwards, the three of us went out for pizzas.

4:07 Two of them got along really well, and my sister thought my girlfriend's skating abilities were absolutely hilarious and kept trying to help her get the hang of it. Cute. I think my girlfriend knew how ridiculous she looked because she couldn't help but laugh at herself.

4:19 Her ability to laugh at herself is something I really like about her.

4:22 When I asked my sister what she thought about my girlfriend, she said that she was pretty and funny and that she liked her and wanted to see her again. Similarly, the next time my girlfriend and I were together, she said that she had a fun time and that my sister was great. And she couldn't believe that I'd been hiding her for all this time. I'm pretty comfortable with the way things went. I'm thinking about possibly inviting my girlfriend over when I make dinner.

4:44 For me and my sister sometime next week.

4:47 But I'm still a bit hesitant because a lot of the comments in my last post urged taking it slow.

4:53 So I'll have to give it some thought. And that is the end of that story.

4:58 Perfect.

4:58 I think that's fine. I think dinner is fine.

5:01 Perfect. That went perfectly.

5:03 You waited for two years and until you were like, yeah, this is the woman I want to spend my life with until you.

5:08 Introduced her to your sister. You waited long enough.

5:11 It's fine.

5:12 We're good.

5:13 We've nailed it.

5:14 Yeah.

5:14 Don't worry about it. We got it. Nothing to worry about here, Buster. I see how he could be concerned, but she needs a good role model in her life that she associates with. Good point. Well, it just seems like she's nice and they get along and it's okay.

5:29 It's time.

5:30 Everything is a risk. You have to take risks to enjoy life.

5:36 And that's the end of this story.

5:37 Let's head to the next one.

5:39 My son's father invited strangers to the party I planned and paid for without asking.

5:44 You said bring people.

5:46 My son's dad and I haven't been together since our son was born. Our son lives with me full time. I cover all of his day-to-day expenses while his paternal grandmother pays his school fees. I organized my son's birthday party for this weekend. It's a party with his school friends and some of my friend's children. Invitations were sent out well in advance, and everyone was asked to RSVP by the 1st of July. Based on those RSVPs, I paid the venue, ordered food, arranged seating, and bought party packs, ice cream, and everything else for a specific number of children.

6:19 There isn't extra seating or extra party packs available. I also invited my son's dad because I wanted him to be there to celebrate his son's birthday with us. By the way, this comes from Vler Moosey. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash okay story time subreddit. I'm Zofia. I'm Riley.

6:36 I'm Vler Moosey.

6:37 And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we don't have all the answers. And if you've got answers, give them to us right now. Today, just three days before the party, he messaged me to tell me that he'd invited another parent to and their child to the party. He didn't ask if it was okay first. He had already invited them.

6:55 Oh!

6:55 I hate when people do that.

6:57 Wait, really?

6:57 Yeah.

6:58 I have done that a few times.

7:00 Yes, you have. He actually has. We're like, who are those people?

7:03 But it was like to an event where you want more people.

7:05 Yeah, no, no, no.

7:06 There's specific times when I'm like, oh, okay. If I'm trying to keep an event small.

7:11 I know, I'm like, the only other person I invite is Angie.

7:13 Yeah, like, there are some times where I'm like, oh, everyone bring everyone, I don't care.

7:16 And you do make that specific when you say, I'm keeping it small.

7:19 Yeah, I'm like, hey, a little small. Usually, if I'm sending out an invite on Partiful, I'm like, yeah, whoever. I told them they couldn't come because I hadn't planned or paid for any additional guests. I also said I don't think it would be fair for a child to attend a birthday party only to watch the other kids receive meals, party packs, ice cream, and other treats while there wasn't enough for them. He thinks I'm being unreasonable, but I feel like he overstepped by inviting people to an event that I planned and paid for without asking me first.

7:54 Dang, you know that that child support is not that high up if she's having this conversation.

8:00 Yeah, like he's not contributing to the party at all.

8:05 Well, just like to the kid's life. Because if he was keeping up with his child support and all that stuff, he'd probably be like, oh, okay.

8:13 Yeah, throw a couple other people in. Bear in mind, I've never even met these people. Am I the a-hole? And Etta, just to clear up things, this party has been planned for months. I started saving for it almost a year ago because I wanted to give my son a special birthday. I booked the venue two months in advance because it fills up quickly. And my final guest numbers had to be confirmed by the 1st of July.

8:37 The venue charges per child and each child receives a meal of their choice, a cool drink, ice cream, and a party pack from the venue. I've also made personalized party packs to match the party theme for each child to take home. I've had to stick to a budget so everything was planned and paid for according to the confirmed RSVPs. I mean, you just turn to your ex or whatever and you say, are you paying for them?

9:02 Yeah.

9:03 And if he says no, then you say, well, they're not coming then.

9:07 They can't.

9:08 They literally can't. There's not going to be anything there for them.

9:11 What do you want me to do?

9:12 My son's dad knew I was organizing the party from the beginning. He didn't offer to help organize or contribute financially, which is also his choice. But he also never mentioned wanting to invite additional children. Where is he finding all these children?

9:26 On the street.

9:27 Yeah, he's just picking them up. He's like, hey, you want to come to my kid's birthday party? Just to piss off my ex? My son did ask if one of his friends from his dad's side could come, and I happily included that child on the guest list. Had his dad mentioned anyone else at the time, it wouldn't have been an issue. My problem isn't with having more children there. It's that he invited additional guests three days before the party without asking me first, after everything had already been finalized and paid for.

9:57 Alright this is what happens you let the kids fight yeah if.

9:59 The ex was paying decent money or helping to sort out the party OP wouldn't have to be penny pinching I.

10:05 Mean I agree OP already said like he is not.

10:08 Paying for anything you know what survival of the fittest Hunger Games style or like you.

10:13 Know strongest child yeah can stay.

10:16 At the party yeah Lord of the Flies it. Here you go.

10:20 Lord of the Flies party edition. Party pack Lord of the Flies.

10:24 The theme of the party is Lord of the Flies, kids.

10:28 It's like murder mystery, but it's Lord of the Flies. All of your children will love it. All of the adults have to leave the party and you just have to let your kids go crazy.

10:36 You know what's sad?

10:38 Is you only put one pair of glasses in there and then that person has.

10:41 To be the kid.

10:43 Tough.

10:44 That part always made me sad. I remember watching Lord of the Fronds at a very young age, and it had a deep impact.

10:50 Traumatizes kids, yeah.

10:53 Wow. I need to look up what Lord of the Fronds is. What? I mean, I know what it is, but I need to look over the plot lines more.

11:02 Plot line.

11:02 Kids get into a plane accident, end up on island.

11:06 No adults. They form alliances.

11:07 One child is good and wants to try and.

11:14 Create a healthy society. The other child wants to create a war-like society.

11:19 Chaos.

11:20 Chaos reigns. Parents, come back.

11:23 Piggy, gone.

11:24 Yeah, kid died.

11:25 You know they're remaking that, right?

11:27 Yeah.

11:27 They already did. It's already out.

11:28 You know they already remade it, didn't they?

11:30 It's on Netflix. Apparently it did really well. I haven't seen it, though.

11:33 The funny thing is, I haven't... Yeah.

11:35 Yeah, it's out.

11:35 You missed it.

11:38 You missed it. I've also seen comments saying I should give his dad the opportunity to participate in our son's childhood. I mean, he's got the opportunity. He's got the opportunity. He just didn't take it.

11:52 He's got a car. He's got money. He could have done something.

11:55 He just ain't paying. I absolutely agree that parents should be involved in their children's lives. That's why I invited him to the party in the first place. There is, however, a lot of history and context that I didn't include in my original post because it wasn't relevant to the question I was asking. My concern here is simply that someone invited extra guests to an event they weren't organizing or paying for without checking with me first. And yes, I know I chose the wrong person to have a child with. I live with that decision every day. And all I can do now is be the best mom I can be for my son. Anyway, thank you again for all the perspectives. Whether you agreed with me or not, wish me luck for the party.

12:38 Lovely.

12:38 Good luck.

12:39 I wish you luck.

12:40 Me too.

12:41 But that's the end of that story. My parents complained about every choice I made down to my birthday cake. I, 31 female, come from a family with my parents, 59 female and 63 male, and two other siblings, 22 male and 29 female. We have a long-standing family tradition where our parents take us out and treat us on our birthday to a nice celebratory dinner every year, as well as gift us $ 200. Most years, my sister, 29, almost always chooses fancy upscale steakhouses or seafood restaurants. My brother typically always chooses Texas Roadhouse.

13:21 Roadhouse.

13:22 The classic.

13:23 I kind of like to mix it up every year. But last year on my 30th birthday, my parents planned nothing for me and didn't treat me to dinner at all. That's messed up. In fact, they barely acknowledged my birthday. This year, my mother decided to call me and directly ask me where I would like to go for my birthday dinner when they came back into town on Sunday, and I told her I'd like to go to the melting pot. Her and my father both protested on the phone and tried at least seven times to get me to agree to go to K-Pot, or a Korean BBQ restaurant they like, that I introduced them two years prior.

13:59 I do like K-Pot, but it's just not where I want to go for my birthday. My mother brought up all sorts of reasons they didn't want to go. She stated, firstly, that the mall is known for cockroaches, which I won't lie, is true.

14:11 Ew.

14:12 Well, that's gross.

14:13 Yeah, but like, did you know those are everywhere?

14:16 That's true. Well, we live in a city where they're pretty much everywhere. And that hasn't stopped her from eating at other places in the mall before. By the way, this comes from connect from move 5261. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash okay story time subreddit. I'm Sophia.

14:32 I'm Dakota.

14:33 I'm Keon.

14:33 And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we don't have all the answers. So give us your answers now in the comments. And Opie says. The next thing she brought up was how pricey melting pot is. I will admit I didn't realize how much it went up. It was now $ 67 per person to enjoy the full three-course meal. However, wow. That's... That is really pricey.

14:57 It's high.

14:58 However, my parents are by no means poor and can't afford it if they want to. They are very well off. This would not be a serious inconvenience for them. However, I did offer to pay for my own meal. My mother declined and said she would pay... My mother ended the call stating my father may not join us at dinner and it might just be me and her. When I called her today to see what the plan was, I was informed that neither of them want to go, so they said they will take me to the melting pot on the condition that neither one of them will eat or have any food at dinner and I will be the only one eating.

15:31 What is that condition? We're just going to watch you eat.

15:34 That's the worst thing I've ever heard.

15:36 We're just going to watch you eat.

15:37 We're going to sit down and watch you eat.

15:38 We're just going to stare at you, dipping things into melted cheese.

15:42 I am considering making them follow through with their tantrum. My mother often likes to make things all about her, and this is just another example of that. I feel this dinner shouldn't be so much about the actual meal as it is the time spent celebrating with family. I realize this sounds petty, but I feel strongly about letting them dictate my choices, as it has often been an issue in the past. I understand this is a power move, but CHECKMATE!

16:11 Ooh, gotcha.

16:12 King to E5.

16:14 King to melting pot. I'm done letting them make everything about themselves and forcing me to compromise and prioritize them. They do this frequently. She even gave me an argument about my birthday cake because I wanted a hell of a boss. My favorite show themed birthday cake. Excellent taste. Excellent taste.

16:33 Well, he's a little freaky little weirdo, aren't you?

16:36 With black and red frosting. And she stated she wouldn't eat my birthday cake either because there are dollops of black frosting. I got the cake anyway.

16:44 What? What? Does she think it tastes like the color black?

16:49 What does she think that tastes like?

16:51 Charcoal.

16:52 So am I the a-hole? And what?

16:55 The verdict? I hate the verdict.

16:56 The verdict is everyone sucks here.

16:58 Like, including OP?

16:59 How can OP suck when they were ignored on their 30th birthday?

17:03 Oh, yeah. It's like fully their birthday. It's fully their birthday and I totally get being, you know, maybe reticent to go to a very expensive place that you don't even like the food at. However, put up with it. It's your daughter's birthday and you're apparently rich.

17:20 Yeah. And you give her $ 200 like you let other siblings. Well, once a brother is plain and simple.

17:27 Yeah. They go to an expensive steakhouse, they said.

17:30 But sister is the one who's like, let's up the ante. Something really pricey. Something I can show off. Come on.

17:37 It's just because you're the oldest, I guess.

17:39 I guess so. They just don't care about you.

17:42 Also, you're 30. Just do what you want to do.

17:44 Yeah, like do stuff with your friends.

17:46 31, actually.

17:47 Do stuff with your other people. The 30th birthday was last year. They ignored their 30th birthday. Was there ever a conversation about, hey, what the heck happened?

17:55 Why'd you do that?

17:56 I've decided to drop the entire idea of going to dinner with them. One of the comments that stuck out the most to me was that I likely don't have many years left with my parents and this doesn't seem important enough to keep arguing over. I do want to clear some things up though. I've talked to my mother numerous times about last year's birthday and there really was no specific reason.

18:17 Wow.

18:18 She just didn't care enough to acknowledge it.

18:20 Wow.

18:20 Who cares about spending as much time as you can with that person?

18:24 Yeah, I don't really want to spend time with you.

18:26 It's like, I'm not even a birthday guy but My mom was going insane about me turning 30.

18:31 Yeah.

18:32 Everyone was going insane about me turning 30. And I went, okay. Yeah.

18:35 I want a big old birthday.

18:37 I'm just turning 25. I'm just the, I'm still thinking, trying to figure it out.

18:40 You're 30.

18:41 You're 30, Keon. Listen, when I grow up, I'm still trying to figure out what I want to do when I grow up.

18:45 Okay?

18:45 Okay.

18:46 I was out of town on my own birthday trip. And when I got back, she generally just didn't think of me. That's so much worse. Also, I have a very good idea of my parents' finances. My dad has gone over them in detail with me a month ago. Like I said, they're very well off. I don't think they owe me a birthday dinner or anything in general.

19:05 I just generally wish they would stop complaining about every little decision I make up to and including my birthday cake.

19:12 That rhymes.

19:13 I'm not whining about colors. I was using that as an example of how even something as simple as my birthday cake can't be my choice. without criticism or complaint. I did speak with my mother a while ago, and when I asked her why she gets so upset about things like my birthday cake, she said it bothers her how extra I have to be all the time.

19:34 Oh, I get it. See, this is what I mean.

19:36 You're a weird little freak. Okay, well, freak would maybe be a little too negative, but like.

19:41 Oh, he just wants to enjoy her birthday.

19:43 I like weird little freaks, man. I'm a weird little freak.

19:45 He's a weird little freak.

19:46 I'm a weird little freak.

19:47 I'm a freaky little guy.

19:48 And your parents don't like that you're weird.

19:52 Yeah, I guess so. I guess that must be it. Because I can't just have a normal birthday cake and instead want a cake that's themed after a show that's important to me.

20:00 I want to see this cake.

20:02 I mean, it's a hell of a boss cake.

20:03 I know, but I just want to... I could be any cake.

20:05 Double whammy there for people who don't know.

20:07 I can see it too, but I want to see it.

20:09 Hell of a Boss is also an animated show, which is another thing that your parents would probably be like, oh, our weird little freak 31-year-old, why is he watching cartoons?

20:18 Yeah, man.

20:19 I get you.

20:20 She also went on a tangent about how I don't do enough for her and never celebrate her and mention Mother's Day specifically. I kindly reminded her I made an entire goodie basket of hand-picked items she would like, and her response was, it was okay. Okay. I told her we don't have to go to dinner and life is too short to be having arguments such as this. The conversation ended there.

20:44 Good job.

20:45 Yeah.

20:45 Good job on not being your parents.

20:47 Yeah.

20:47 You know?

20:48 Oh, boy, Opie, I'm sorry. I mean, honestly, just hang out with people who want to hang out with you on your birthday and forget, like, just don't let your parents have a day. They don't get a day anymore. They lost their privilege to have a day with you on your birthday. Update two. I guess we're going to K-Pod.

21:04 Okay.

21:05 Okay.

21:05 Wow.

21:06 My father tried talking to me and I suggested a nice Italian restaurant that I know he likes, but he just made complaints about that restaurant as well, stating his last experience there wasn't good. So I just said, fine, we can go to K-Pod, because I'm done with this whole thing and I know not going will also cause issues.

21:24 Thank you for the people who chose to be kind, even if they didn't agree with me. I agree I had other issues under the surface, and this was about more than just my restaurant of choice. Regardless, I am tired of this. And it's reasons like this that make me wish I didn't even have a birthday. No! No!

21:43 Stop letting your parents ruin your birthday! Just don't hang out with them. Who cares about them?

21:48 What are your siblings saying in all of this?

21:50 Oh, I don't know.

21:51 The youngies. Stop.

21:52 Stop letting your parents ruin your birthday. It makes me upset.

21:56 Yeah.

21:57 Clearly there's 30 years worth of context here that we don't have.

22:00 Yeah.

22:01 But crazy that commenters were like, You are wrong.

22:05 You're the a-hole, OP. You're the a-hole.

22:08 If this is what they're doing, just imagine what they've done.

22:10 But we got an update three. This is my last and final update. We went to K-Pot. On the ride over, I was silent while I fixed my makeup, and my mother made repeat comments about how she hates my black lipstick. Yeah, OP's just a little different than them, and they hate her for it.

22:26 She replied with, I hate your gray hairs.

22:29 Yeah.

22:30 She goes, oh?

22:30 Oh, she goes, oh, oh, oh.

22:33 You say, I really hate how you've let yourself go.

22:34 Ooh. Dang. And then she goes, why would you say that? I'm your mother. When we sat down at the table to eat, my parents complained pretty much the entire dinner about how they didn't like that they had to make their own dipping sauce. They didn't like the food choices. They didn't like that you had to cook the food yourself.

22:52 I am, the second that I hear one complaint about the food, I get up and go, this was your choice. Bye. Have fun.

23:02 Yeah, I'm walking home.

23:03 I'll be like, why are we here?

23:04 Yeah, why did you pick this place if you hate it?

23:06 I feel like it's just that they're old enough to be like, they complain about everything.

23:12 Everything sucks.

23:12 Everything sucks.

23:13 There is no pleasing them. Mind you, these people have been here several times before. I barely ate because I lost much of my appetite. I also spoke only enough with them when prompted. Neither of them seemed to notice how I was feeling. Yes, they don't care. They both have the self-awareness of a doorknob.

23:29 Yeah.

23:30 When leaving the restaurant and when we got into the car, my dad turned to my mother and said it was nice to switch it up this time, but he only thought the meal was mid. And she agreed I would go crazy.

23:40 I don't know if I heard my elderly parents say, this meal's mid. I'd be like, shut up.

23:46 It is mid.

23:46 I'd be like, get out of here. I just asked, do you think it was better than melting pot?

23:50 Yeah. Hmm.

23:51 Well, did you think that you were going to get something different? I just sat there silently but internally screaming, because none of this was ever about celebrating me, and they still had the audacity to complain about the meal they pushed me to agree to. I could feel the salt in the wound.

24:07 It sounds like you've reached a good place of just acceptance.

24:11 Yeah.

24:13 But I would hope that, you know, your parents' horrific attitude about you doesn't, you know, affect your self-worth deeply.

24:24 I hope not. I hope not.

24:26 Because they suck.

24:28 They suck so bad. They suck so hard. It's crazy how much they suck.

24:33 You know, and it's like, if they are going to judge you and think that you're a little, you know, weird freak that they hate, the least they could do is just keep that inside.

24:43 Yeah, for one day. For one day, we couldn't keep it inside. Also, when we got back for cake, my mother did indeed eat a slice of my cake that I bought. Of course she did. She said she enjoyed the chocolate cake portion with cherry filling, but complained there was too much buttercream frosting.

24:57 Shut up.

24:59 I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy. I'm throwing the cake in her face. Her slice had zero black frosting on it, but she still found something to complain about. I know the verdict is everyone sucks here, but I honestly think most of the commenters suck for thinking there's an age cap on wanting to have a birthday celebration be about you and not the narcissist who raised you.

25:19 I agree. That was the argument point?

25:21 Yeah.

25:22 You're 31.

25:22 You're 30 years old.

25:23 You don't need a birthday. What are you, a baby?

25:26 I hate the idea that you can't have a birthday when you get a certain age. There is nothing wrong with me buying a cake for myself that has a theme to a show I like just because of my age. Most of you are bitter and it shows. Again, thank you to those who were kind. You make the world a better place. And that's the end of the story.

25:45 Yeah, those people are like, you don't have zero whimsy.

25:48 Yeah, those people are boring.

25:50 Anti-whimsy.

25:51 No whimsy, boring people.

25:53 Anti-whimsy. Get out of my face.

25:56 Get your lack of whimsy out of my face.

25:59 Out of here. And that's the end of this story. Let's head to the next one.

26:03 Hey, it's Angie, your favorite fashion host here.

26:06 We're going to get back to the stories, but here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

26:11 My in-laws agreed to host my twins' first birthday, then sabotaged the guest list.

26:18 Now why'd you do that?

26:20 My husband and I bought my mom's home and are currently doing major renovations to it. We're redoing the plumbing and the bathrooms, for example. As a result, we can't really host any gatherings there until the plumbing and the flooring is done. I knew it would likely not be done in time for our twins' first birthday, which is next weekend. My sister-in-law, sister-in-law two, also is high needs on the ASD scale, and my in-laws don't go many places because taking her with them for any length of time can be a process. ASD is?

26:54 Autism Spectrum Distorter.

26:56 Thank you. There's also Becky, who has three nieces, so I want to specify that for brevity. I asked my in-laws if, with both of those things in mind, we could host the boys' first birthday party at their house and plan to do a pool party. They have a decent-sized pool, and we live in South Florida. Mother-in-law asked how many people I would want to invite, and I said the bare bones. But with both of our families and closest friends, that still comes out to be 40 to 50 people.

27:26 Oh, okay. So I got context. They live in South Florida, so you know it's going to get a little crazy.

27:31 It's always a little crazy in South Florida.

27:33 You ever been to Miami?

27:34 Nope, I've never been to Florida.

27:36 Both Sophia and I have been to Florida, but by stopover. Haven't you been to Florida for just a stay over?

27:43 No, I've never been to Florida.

27:44 No vacation there?

27:45 Who did that?

27:45 Missing out.

27:46 I've never been to Florida.

27:48 Someone's done that here. I've never been to Florida either. I stayed the night.

27:51 I have been in Destin, Florida.

27:52 I love it.

27:53 Is it hot?

27:54 Oh, yeah.

27:55 Beautiful.

27:55 They agree, and that was that. By the way, this comes from Damalette Dinkels, and if you want to speak on stories, you know where to go. I'm Riley.

28:03 I'm Sophia.

28:04 I'm Dakota.

28:05 And we're going to read this story goofily with Dakota's clone. And if you want to speak on stories, you know where to go. Please comment. Opie says, I have set very firm boundaries in the past and and also had to cut out my own father because of some effed up crap he did. And he's not allowed to be in my son's life. So they know not to push crap with me. But if they weren't comfortable with it, I told them I would understand. And we look at doing it at a park or something. Mother-in-law said it was fine.

28:34 Just do it at a park.

28:36 I think it's okay if we just did it at a park.

28:38 Exactly.

28:38 It's okay.

28:39 Dude, a lot of my great birthdays were at a park where they- I love a park birthday. Where they ran out the- Yeah, the little bungalow or whatever it's called. Yeah, the- Bungalow.

28:50 Wow.

28:50 The patio?

28:51 No, something with a pat. I was going to say pav- Oh, is it the- What's it called?

28:56 Does it start with a G?

28:57 Moms, you know what it's called.

28:59 Garbanzo.

29:00 Garbanzo beans, yes.

29:01 Yeah, yeah. Do you remember those times?

29:03 It was so fun.

29:04 I loved it. It was great.

29:05 What is it called?

29:06 I would go to Matheson Park in Taylorsville, North Carolina. Beautiful place. And my crush lived right near there.

29:13 Perfect. And so she could see how fun you were having. At the bungalow.

29:17 Pavilion.

29:18 Pavilion.

29:18 Pavilion.

29:19 Yes.

29:19 Thank you, Jess.

29:21 You got it.

29:21 Gazebo.

29:22 Gazebo. It was gazebo.

29:24 Months later, after I've already made a Facebook event and ordered invitations, father-in-law begins freaking out to my husband that I've invited too many people. Father-in-law is not on Facebook, but I had gotten on my mother-in-law's Facebook and saw the event I made. I added people who could not attend a Facebook event at their request because they wanted the link to the Amazon wishlist I made for the boys.

29:49 Father-in-law then tells my husband that he said I couldn't have more than 20 people. Keep in mind, that's just me, my husband, and mine, and my husband's siblings and nieces. And all our parents come out to about 25 people. So I don't know how he thought that was reasonable.

30:09 Okay.

30:10 I mean, why does he get a say in this?

30:13 It's his house.

30:14 Oh.

30:14 You tell me the five people.

30:15 I thought they were doing it in a park. Yeah, go to a park now.

30:18 Exactly.

30:18 If it wasn't at a park before, it should be now.

30:20 Here's what I'd say.

30:21 Yeah. Here's the list of people you want to invite five people.

30:25 Okay, yeah. You pick. And then you tell them, you look at them in their eyes and you say, you're not invited to my grandson's birthday.

30:32 Chuck E. Cheese. I think 50 people for Chuck E. Cheese is a little too many.

30:35 Yeah, that's a good time.

30:38 It is a great time. It's where a kid can be a kid. I'm trying to remember any of my birthday parties as a kid.

30:43 You don't remember because you blocked them out?

30:46 No, I do remember actually one. I remember one really good one. We rented out the airspace museum nearby.

30:53 That's cool.

30:54 It was really cool, actually.

30:56 Cue an afton of backtracking, but he texted me and asked if I could find a new place. I was standing with my mom and my mom's friend, and she graciously offered her house, as they have a new build on an acreage and a large pool as well.

31:12 Great.

31:13 Perfect solution.

31:15 We have a plan B.

31:16 We've got a solution right here for the taking. All right. Love to see it.

31:20 All right.

31:21 Hopefully that's the end of the story.

31:23 Yeah, right there. End of story. Everyone go home.

31:26 We're not over.

31:27 What?

31:28 We have so much more to say.

31:29 Stop.

31:30 Okay.

31:30 I sent a follow-up text to Becky since I never received an RSVP and found out from sister-in-law and mother-in-law today, less than a week before the birthday party, that none of my husband's family will be attending their first birthday party, and instead we're going to throw them a party on the day my mother-in-law helps me by watching the boys so I can work late, meaning I can't be there.

31:57 I took several hours to cool down and formulate a response, and instead we're going to throw a separate birthday party at a time when they knew I would not be able to attend. That is so messed up.

32:11 Yeah, that's pretty uncool. That's their mother! They did that really on purpose there, it seems. Why'd they do that on purpose?

32:19 Right?

32:20 I don't like that.

32:21 They had to be strategic behind that.

32:22 Yeah, they were like, hmm, we've been planning this whole time.

32:25 My mother-in-law is trying to downplay this and say they'd be happy to do it on a Friday instead. But I replied and explained, I will be busy after work on Friday and all day Saturday prepping for the birthday party they were supposed to attend. I can hear someone messaging me, but I honestly don't want to look at it.

32:44 Am I wrong to be upset about this?

32:46 Obviously not. Obviously not wrong to be upset about this. This is very upsetting. I'm upset about this for you.

32:53 It doesn't make any sense. I feel like there's an underlying reason.

32:57 Yeah, there must be. There must be a reason why. But also the reason might just be they don't like you.

33:03 Maybe that's the underlying reason.

33:04 Maybe we don't want to find that out. Maybe we don't want to know that.

33:06 Yeah.

33:07 I would want to know that. I don't know. If somebody didn't like me and they were just like, there.

33:12 Why ask a question to an answer you don't want to know?

33:16 It's true. That's true.

33:17 That was the whole theme of Men in Black 3. Fun fact. Interesting.

33:25 Edit.

33:25 Because some comments are still coming in and I kept answering things in the comments. Mother-in-law watching the twins on a Thursdays. In our area, daycare is $ 300 to $ 400 a week per kid, and part-time is not an option until they're potty trained. I pay a friend $ 200 to watch them Monday, Wednesday, Fridays, and my mom, who works full-time but has Sundays and Tuesdays off, watches them on Tuesdays.

33:51 They're not doing this for social media clout or to impress family. His side of the family is smaller, and only mother-in-law and Becky... are on Facebook, and they hardly use it. The only people attending their small party are mother-in-law, father-in-law, Tracy, Becky, her husband, and their three daughters.

34:12 I'm... Jeez.

34:14 So it's just the.

34:16 Small family here?

34:16 It's just the in-laws?

34:18 So what I'm seeing is the in-laws have beef with your family.

34:21 Yeah.

34:22 Is there a war? It seems like it.

34:24 It seems like they've created a war, and they don't want any of them to come to the kids' birthday party.

34:29 Yeah.

34:30 That's like not about them. It's about the kids.

34:32 It seems like very controlling.

34:34 Very.

34:35 I mostly posted because I just needed to vent and wanted validation about my anger slash annoyance because my mom and husband were very calm about this and both were just relieved to not have to deal with father-in-law at the party on Sunday because he's a bit of an a-hole.

34:51 Don't sound like the most pleasant guy in town.

34:55 We have an update.

34:56 Oh boy.

34:57 You are so validated.

34:59 Yeah, OP. I really think you should just say, hey, no, we're having it in a park now. Come if you want.

35:06 Yeah, we're having it at the new, better, bigger pool party area.

35:10 Yeah, sorry. Didn't tell you. I thought you knew.

35:13 Oh, you don't like that? You don't like that? It sucks.

35:16 It's okay. You don't have to come.

35:17 It's not for you.

35:18 Yeah, it's for my children.

35:20 It's for the twins.

35:21 It's for the twin children.

35:22 Party for the twins, not just the in-laws.

35:25 Update.

35:26 I wanted to include some info. that I had a lot of questions on. I have twin sons. They are turning one. So biggish party because biggish family. I have 25 first cousins.

35:40 That's a lot of cousins. That's a lot of cousins. I thought I had a lot of cousins. You've got a lot of cousins.

35:45 I have 25 first cousins. I invited five of them and their spouses and kids and only two confirmed and we're still at 40 plus people. If you don't get this, it's okay. but anyone with a large family understands get-togethers aren't small.

36:00 I do get that. You can't have a family get-together. That's not a huge party.

36:04 Honestly, any Filipino party is just like, this is your cousin who I've never met.

36:08 Yeah, these are all your cousins.

36:10 I feel like Filipinos and people from the South are the same. Not like that the same, but when it comes to families, like big families.

36:17 Sure.

36:18 I wouldn't know the context of a Southern family because I wasn't raised in that.

36:20 A lot of Southern families, minimum four kids each.

36:23 It's around, yeah, sure.

36:24 Three to four, yeah.

36:25 Yeah.

36:25 My mom works full-time and has offered to watch my kids on Sundays and Tuesdays, so she can only watch them on Tuesdays for me. My friend has been watching them on Monday, Wednesdays, and Fridays, and my mother-in-law has been watching them on Thursdays. My friend offered to take over Thursdays if necessary, so I have that in my back pocket now. Taking off one day of work wouldn't normally be an issue, but my husband was out of work for two weeks. He's union and was in between jobs.

36:55 and in that time ended up at the hospital for a week.

36:58 Oh, boy.

36:59 So I physically could not afford to take off. My friend has already told me to pay her later when I have the money, and I had to pull from savings to make ends meet. My husband and I have both done individual therapy and couples counseling and have come a long way, especially him. It was done before we got married because we wanted to be a united front with all issues, not just his parents. He's usually good about handling them on his own, setting boundaries, and enforcing them.

37:28 There's a reason I haven't posted on any of the Just Know subreddits in literal years. I can't remember if I posted this in the original post or comment, but I texted mother-in-law and asked her about doing their party slash dinner next Friday after their actual party and didn't hear back from her. This is relevant. She's trying to throw a party without you for some reason.

37:52 Yeah, but that's the whole point of this post.

37:55 I had to add, I spent less than $ 100 on the party due to lack of funds. That's awesome.

38:00 Thanks.

38:01 How'd you do that?

38:02 Well, he said I didn't have the money, so I couldn't go over budget.

38:05 Quick rabbit hole.

38:07 Yes.

38:07 Dakota and I read a story where this woman spent five figures on a birthday party.

38:13 Five figures on one birthday party?

38:15 Where was it?

38:16 Was it for the queen?

38:17 No.

38:17 It was for her stepdaughter that didn't like her, but her husband didn't throw her a party, so she kind of got back at them and made a big party kind of for her, hoping the stepdaughter would like it, but stepdaughter doesn't like birthdays, so she just left.

38:31 Oh.

38:31 It was super crazy.

38:32 I was not there. Dang.

38:33 I mean, what do you spend the dawn?

38:35 That's what I'm saying.

38:36 I mean, I remember seeing those, like, remember MTV's Sweet 16?

38:41 Yeah.

38:41 Yeah, that's what, you know, that just comes to mind.

38:44 Ha ha.

38:45 I ordered a few pizzas, I made cupcakes from scratch, and family brought chips and fruit for sides and some soda and water for drinks. I had already bought my sons a couple of gifts that had been in the back of our closets from before my husband was laid off. Also, I am repaying my friend for the time she watched them.

39:04 I used Splitwise to track how much I owe her. Now for the actual update. As I mentioned above, I spoke with my friend when I dropped the boys off on Wednesday and with her and she said F that I'll watch them on Thursdays previously she was watching her nephew for her sister-in-law on those days but she's been inconsistent and really only bringing them to her on Tuesdays I thanked her and agreed if it was not resolved I would take Hallelujah. We've got it all sorted. I love this daycare situation you got. Hopefully I'll have something like that when I get older.

39:25 Daycare situation?

39:26 Yeah, we could just downstairs.

39:28 We'll, uh.

39:48 Have Dakota watch the kids in John's old room?

39:50 Yeah.

39:50 Perfect. It's easy. Done.

39:55 Easy.

39:56 Husband and I discussed what to do and agreed he'd call his mom and open it with something to the effect of, Hey, OP sent you a message asking about the next Friday for the boys, but she didn't hear back from you.

40:09 Is that okay? Or Saturday?

40:11 And then if she was okay with moving it, all would be good. If she got pissy about it, we'd leave the boys with my friend going forward and have a discussion with them about boundaries again.

40:22 I'm done talking about boundaries. Just stop. Get them out of here. I don't want to hear about them anymore.

40:29 When you start building a fence or something?

40:30 Yes. Get them out of here. Go to the park and build a fence around the park.

40:37 The call went well. Mother-in-law apologized and explained them going out of town to the vacation home and had moved up because the cabinets and countertops they had backordered finally gave them a delivery date, and they needed to leave early the next morning, either the day or immediately after the party.

40:56 Oh, wow.

40:57 Gee whiz, man.

40:58 Gee whiz.

40:58 Gee whiz.

41:00 Took them too long.

41:01 Well, at least you figured that out. Why did they communicate that, though? Why are they ignoring you?

41:06 I don't know. They haven't communicated anything well this whole story.

41:11 I dropped the boys off and mother-in-law apologized to me in person and explained the above to me and that she wasn't thanking, but that Becky was also being a bit of a, but about birthday stuff because she tends to be pretty self-centered, but she's also a major germaphobe. Like she's the level of bad where she needs therapy, but won't get it. I literally had a conversation with one of our nieces about it, audio books and suggested she go to the library and, And get some. And she said they're not allowed at the library because there's too many germs there.

41:45 Oh, that's the worst. Like when you have so many fears and anxieties and you start passing them on to your kids.

41:53 Yeah.

41:53 Not allowing them to do fun things.

41:55 Yeah.

41:56 Because you're like, oh, there's germs on the library books.

41:59 Trying to solve all the problems at once, mother-in-law just was like, well, we'll just do a small dinner before we leave. And bam, done.

42:07 Done.

42:08 Not thinking about my or my husband's availability. So it all worked out, thankfully. We were going to do a small dinner with mother-in-law and father-in-law when they come back in a couple of weeks and enjoy the party on Sunday with everyone else. Husband said there was no sister-in-law or a sign of a party when he picked up the boys.

42:26 Okay, good. They didn't have a secret party for your boys.

42:30 Did you ask them?

42:31 Yeah, were you like, boys? Did you have a birthday party? Be honest with me. Look me in the eyes. Did you have a birthday party? Was it fun? Did you have a really fun day?

42:41 Tell me truth.

42:42 I feel like the only way to find out with them is if they poop in the cakes there.

42:47 Gross.

42:48 It's worse. I feel like the easiest way to find out is you ask them. Little boys are going to be like, oh my God.

42:59 When do kids start talking?

43:02 Talking?

43:02 What? Not until I was four. You think I'm kidding?

43:06 No, I don't.

43:06 I knew that about you. You've talked about it before.

43:09 Wow, four. That's crazy.

43:11 I don't think you said that. What about you?

43:14 When did I start talking? I don't know. Somewhere in the age of one to two. Oh, they're one? They've been one this whole time?

43:22 Yeah.

43:23 These twins are one years old?

43:25 Yeah, that's said like three times in the story. That's why it's kind of a big issue.

43:28 I did not hear that. I missed that. I thought these kids were six or seven years old.

43:33 No, no, no.

43:34 These kids were one years old and were complaining about a birthday party? Why are we throwing these kids big birthday parties at all?

43:40 For their one birthday party?

43:41 It's a big deal.

43:41 No, I don't remember it. Throw it at Park.

43:43 No, no, no.

43:44 It's more like for the parents because you give them a cake and then they eat it. And they're like, alright.

43:48 I don't know. We can throw that at home.

43:52 I left the state again once to go to my niece's birthday party.

43:56 One years old?

43:57 Yeah.

43:58 I missed the other one, sadly. Whenever Tay has a kid, I'm going to go to the one-year-old's birthday party.

44:02 You're throwing it to one years old?

44:04 Yeah, sure.

44:05 Bye, folks.

44:06 We've got another story. My ex-husband blamed me for his mess, so I gave him exactly what he asked for.

44:14 Another mess.

44:15 So like the title says, I only gave him what he asked for. And it was definitely petty. I was married to a very manly man.

44:24 For 17 years.

44:25 I ended up doing all the admin tasks and mental load tasks. He had a money-earning job, and I did everything else, even schedule this man's dental appointments and buy his parents' birthday cards. At first it was fine, but eventually not so much. And he refused to change, so things came to a head and ended. I'm sure after I left, he was unpleasantly surprised to discover how much work his assistant did. Anyway, it's been five years, we have our own lives, and I don't think about him much, and we certainly don't talk. But one day, I start getting calls from him. He explained to me that he never removed me from his home and auto insurance and says, they won't remove you unless you call. He is pissy

45:08 and keeps calling me and saying I have to do this right away and being very rude. It's been five years, and now it's an emergency?

45:15 Okay.

45:16 He ends up calling me every day for a week and saying I've created a problem for him. By the way, this comes from Diligent Cheerio902, and if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash ok story time subreddit.

45:31 I'm Savannah.

45:31 I'm Keon.

45:32 And we're here to give some advice in a little goofy way, but we don't have all your answers. So let us know what you would do, and we are going to tell you what we would do.

45:41 As Hopey says.

45:42 I called the company and the woman on the phone says, No, we totally would have removed you. He never asked. I can see there is no record of him calling ever.

45:52 Oh, really?

45:53 She then says, You know, moving him from married to a single man, this is going to raise his rate considerably. Is he sure this is important to him?

46:02 I laughed. Oh, yes, very important.

46:05 In fact, I haven't lived there for five years, so his current policy should really be backdated. She laughs and says, Yes, he's going to get a large bill.

46:15 I like how the insurance person knows exactly what you're doing. She's like, I like this game. I'm going to help you out.

46:22 She said, oh, girl. Girls team. It's girl team now. Not my problem anymore. Edit.

46:31 Okay, since apparently this matters to people, I'm assuming the agent meant for the current contract slash policy, which means just this year. I honestly didn't ask because I don't really care anymore. And that wasn't why I called them. And yes, he is under 40, so I think maybe that affects it, but again, I didn't ask.

46:48 He's under 40?

46:49 And he acts like that? I just assumed he was like a grown man, like 50 years old.

46:54 Yeah, he's such a manly boy.

46:55 No, literally.

46:59 My mommy used to do it for me, my wife used to do it for me, but now I have nobody to do it for me. I'm kind of... I don't know how to do this.

47:05 So five years later, I'm going to call my ex-wife.

47:08 Did you do it yet?

47:09 Yeah.

47:09 Did you do it yet? Did you do it yet?

47:11 Literally.

47:13 I'm sorry, girl. Did you do it yet?

47:15 No, it's like a kid like in the back of a car when you're on a road trip. They're like, are we there yet?

47:20 Are we there yet?

47:20 Yeah.

47:21 I don't spend a lot of brain power on this guy anymore. I do think people are probably right about him having a new girl.

47:28 That was upset.

47:29 LOL. And at number two, side note, he's 39 until September and we got together when he was 18. And yes, we've actually only been separated 4.7 years.

47:41 So y'all can stop being confused by the math. There is an update.

47:44 A little confused by your 4.7 years, but yes.

47:47 That's the only math that confused me here. I could have figured it out if you didn't put that.

47:51 Almost five, literally almost five years.

47:54 Yeah, just 4.7 actually. Update. So y'all were right.

48:00 It never occurred to me that he'd be suddenly concerned my name was on the progressive car slash home insurance bill because of a new girl.

48:08 But that was absolutely why. I have full.

48:12 Legal and physical custody of the kids, and he doesn't have anything to do with them.

48:17 You guys have kids? That's new.

48:20 Yeah, that was some info dump.

48:22 But our son recently had a minor surgery, and of course insurance has been giving us the runaround even.

48:28 After pre-approving the procedure. Thanks, United. Great job.

48:32 He's the primary insurance holder due to his job, so I can only do so much. So I had to call him and ask him to call them, even though I already did all the paperwork. Being a grown-up is so awesome, by the way. Normally, he told me to just use his signature and info because he can't be bothered, but I can't do a man's voice. And yes, everyone who thought I probably know his social and stuff, I absolutely do. Plus his parents' birthdays, etc. He doesn't even remember his own kids' birthdays. When we were on the phone, he suddenly started ranting about how expensive everything is.

49:08 How he's so broke.

49:10 Because he bought a brand new car and then suddenly had a pipe burst and it cost him a fortune to fix the kitchen.

49:16 Wall and floor and part of the garage. So that tells me.

49:20 he needed to access the insurance but then he starts telling me how awesome his new girl is because she stepped up and put money into the house the house he now tells me she lives in rent free i don't know pitching in In that case, seems like the least someone could do, but okay, not my business.

49:41 Sounds like also not your problem.

49:43 I mean, screw this guy. He's just a man child.

49:46 I feel like OP has less of a headache and doesn't have to deal with it as much, which is good for you, OP. Okay, he goes, oh, the bills are so expensive. And you're like, yeah, those are your bills. Sorry. Oops. Wait, what? Have your new girlfriend help you out.

50:03 Oh, if she really steps up, she'll step up to do all this for you as well, I'm sure, since she's so great. I just don't really know why he thinks I'll be a sympathetic ear to the situation. I was like, yeah, okay, well, text me when you've called United so I can call the hospital back.

50:19 Bye.

50:19 I don't have a lot of sympathy because this man makes over 120K per year and pays 20K of that in child support for three kids he hasn't seen in a year. Yeah.

50:32 Don't feel bad. Honestly, you should be getting more money.

50:36 And he's too busy going on vacations to even call or text them.

50:40 So I don't really give a crap if his pipes burst.

50:43 I hope new younger model woman gave him an earful for still having my name on everything. And I hope Progressive sends him a huge bill on that brand new car. Huh.

50:53 The situation really brought out the pissy in me.

50:55 Oh well.

50:59 OP go piss girl.

51:00 Go piss, girl.

51:01 Come on.

51:02 Get all that out of you.

51:03 Get that piss out, girl.

51:04 But that is the end of that story, and we got another one coming right up.

51:08 My husband begged me to let him cheat, but I said no.

51:13 Are you serious?

51:14 My husband and I have been together for 10 years. A very happy marriage. Recently, though, he told me he had constant thoughts about wanting to have spicy sleep with his co-worker. who, according to him, has a boyfriend of six years. And he asked me if I could give him permission to have spicy sleep with her. This was very hard for me to hear because I am not okay with him having spicy sleep with another woman, but also because he was about to go on a business trip with her. Just the two of them for this business trip. On the first day of this trip, they did a lot of things together, like each other, which is fine, but come to find out, he invited her into his room to watch a show together. When he

51:53 got home, we had many arguments about this, and I asked why he was so sure he could ask her to have spicy sleep without her being livid or getting fired, to which he replied with, because he believes the feeling is mutual and that there is spicy-related tension on her side as well. Again, Lots of fighting. But in the end, he agreed to boundaries with this person. Mostly, not bringing her into a hotel room together. By the way, this comes from user AdLivid1365. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit.

52:23 I'm Keon.

52:24 I'm Savannah.

52:25 And we're going to speak about this story. We're going to tell you what we know. And I guarantee you, you're going to agree with us on this story. But let us know what you do in the comments down below. Pretty please. As Opie says, fast forward a couple weeks. He had another trip with this woman. When he gets there, his room was canceled. I called him when he was at dinner with this girl and asked if he found a room to which he said, no, he hadn't found a room and he didn't know what he was going to do. Come to find out that that was a lie that I caught him in. He did sleep in the same room as this woman, but claimed that he had a cot that he slept on. Now, he is telling me he doesn't want boundaries with her. Only that

53:09 he won't ever cheat on me, so anything else should be okay. I feel this isn't okay. I guess I'm wondering if I'm being unreasonable. If he doesn't cheat, does that mean that this should be okay? OP, let's ask the real questions here. Why are you still with this man?

53:27 Yeah, if he obviously wants to be with someone else, I'd be like, yeah, you want to go sleep with her?

53:32 Okay, cool. Then I'm going to go because I'm not dealing with all this.

53:37 Hey, could I talk to her husband? Since this is a play date that you guys coordinated, let me talk to her husband just so we can compare notes and make sure we mutually agree on this. Let's say for argument's sake that I believe he hasn't cheated and that I believe him when he says he never will. Am I crazy for thinking that there should still be boundaries here?

53:56 Even if he hasn't cheated on me with her, this is where he's making me feel like I'm crazy for asking for boundaries. Advice, please. And we have an update. My advice is break up with him. Divorce it is.

54:11 Mine is break up with him. Divorce.

54:15 We have an update. Let's find out because this is insane. Also, why are these the only two people that are going on the same work trip?

54:22 Yeah.

54:23 And all of this, like, it's just the blatant, or the blatant disrespect that he has and that he's put you in this position for you to feel this way. And then also is like trying to sneak around and lie his way through, like saying.

54:37 Oh, we never did anything. I slept somewhere else. Like, no, you didn't.

54:40 I don't know. The biggest, giantest red flag in this is he goes, hey, let me ask my wife if I can cheat on her or AKA sleep with another woman.

54:49 Uh, One.

54:50 And then right after this, to make it so transparent, I'm going on a work trip with her. Just us two. That'll be fine, right?

54:59 Like, is it even a work trip?

55:00 I don't think so. We have an update. So I took the woman out for lunch because at the time my husband said it would help me to see that she is a good person and that there was nothing going on between them. So I took her to lunch and paid for it and apologized to her. She acted like she had no idea. She did. I later found out.

55:21 My husband admitted to kissing her and holding her hand back to the hotel. He says, oh, that happened. Then after the kiss, he immediately regretted it. He regretted it, and then he said, I don't want boundaries with her.

55:33 Yeah, sounds like a lot of hoopla.

55:37 He says that absolutely nothing happened on the next trip where he slept in her hotel room for a night because his room wasn't booked for that specific night. So she came to his rescue. I called her and she denies everything. Says nothing ever happened between them. Not sure why my husband would lie about cheating. We have a second update. So this is gonna be your ex-husband, right?

55:57 Yeah.

55:58 I have now gotten eight, I'm going to repeat that, eight different versions of his truth.

56:04 Oh, P.

56:05 Just, I mean, I wouldn't even be asking for, as soon as the story changes, like if he tells me something and I don't immediately believe him, I'll ask again. And if he tells me a whole different story, I'm freaking done.

56:16 I'm done.

56:17 I'm out of there.

56:18 Yeah.

56:18 Go have fun. Apparently you don't care about me.

56:21 Bye.

56:21 Hope it's worth it.

56:22 I give him eight different reasons why I'm divorcing him. After every new version, I attempt to cope. Then he admits to something else. I cope, lather, rinse, repeat. The most up-to-date version is that everyone was right. He did have spicy sleep with her on both trips that they went on. Yep. The full version was told to me about two months ago. I'm not even sure if that is really all of it, or not. But to be honest, it doesn't matter at this point. I don't trust anything anymore.

56:51 Oh, f * * * me.

56:52 Opie says, I forgave him. Oh my. And now you're an a-hole.

56:59 Yeah, I don't, whatever. If you condone this behavior, do it. But now you're just as bad as him now.

57:06 I finally got to the point where being angry was only hurting me, not him and not her, just me. I don't feel anger towards him anymore. Now we are in the let's see what happens phase. I know a lot of people will crucify me for not divorcing.

57:22 Us.

57:23 And everyone else, I'm sure, on Reddit.

57:25 Crucifying you. It's not that easy for me. He was the love of my life for all of these years. I never trusted anyone in my whole life, besides my mom, the way I trusted him. He is the father of my three kids. The realities of my marriage feel shaken, and I want to make sure I have done absolutely everything to save it before I throw in the towel.

57:46 Girly Pop!

57:47 He cheated on you!

57:48 He threw in the towel. He threw the towel at you. Trillions of times. You went, rinse, rinse, repeat, rinse, repeat, rinse, repeat. Let me use that towel again. Throw it back at my face.

58:00 Like, this guy is just walking.

58:02 You are a doormat. This guy is just walking all over you, doing whatever he wants. Like, why did he even... He should have, I mean, truthfully, he should have just done it behind your back. Because, I mean, it doesn't even matter. Even if he tells you or doesn't tell you, you're still going to stay.

58:16 That is the end of that story.

58:19 What?

58:19 Yeah, that is the end of it.

58:20 Wow.

58:22 I'm going to the comments.

58:23 OP, I don't wish you good luck. I hope your kids are okay with all this. Because that's going to be a lot of trauma.

58:31 It's already a lot of trauma. I'm traumatized.

58:33 Yeah.

58:33 Yeah.

58:34 All the comments are just like, holy crap. You're an a-hole to yourself at this point.

58:38 What an idiot.

58:39 Sorry, OP. I don't, I want to feel bad for you. I cannot feel bad for you. I know you're like, oh, I'm trying to save my relationship. What's there to save?

58:48 Like, do it for your kids. Why are you, you're teaching your kids that this is a good example of a marriage. Like, what? This is stupid.

58:55 Yeah, daddy can go and see his friends. Mommy's just going to be right here, just waiting for him to come back. But everything's going to work out, though.

59:01 It's all good.

59:03 And that's the end of this story. Let's head to the next one.

59:06 My wife asked me to stop working out because I lost weight. and got fit.

59:11 No.

59:12 My wife, 35 female, does not feel comfortable with me, 40 male, working out and going to the gym anymore and is suggesting I quit. I have always been slightly overweight in my 20s and 30s and really let go during the pandemic and gained a lot of weight. It started bothering me, and hence last January I joined a local gym and hired a personal trainer. I lost most of the excess weight, and the trainer also helped me gain muscle. I love going to the gym now and working out three or four times a week. My wife, of course, loved my dedication, and I sometimes found her staring at me when I was changing, which was cute. Overall, my confidence improved, and I also started dressing nicely, and everything just fit right. I had a situation happen to

59:57 me in the summer at my workplace. My wife's friend, Betty, also works in my company. One of the girls in my company, Jayla, late 20s female from a different department, started becoming very friendly with me, started joining me for lunches, and slacking me through the day about random talk bits. I would be busy and try to be polite and ignore her. However, things got weird when she got hold of my phone number, which only my manager knows in office.

1:00:24 and started messaging me after hours. By the way, this comes from ThrowawayFat2024, and if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash ok story time subreddit.

1:00:34 I'm Savannah.

1:00:35 I'm Keon.

1:00:35 And we're here to give some good advice in a little goofy way, but we don't have all your answers. We'd only let you know what we would do, but let us know what you would do down in the comments. As Opie says, I immediately drew a line and told her it's not acceptable and to only talk to me via company messenger. as I do not talk to work colleagues on my personal phone. I also started ignoring her after that, except for a polite hello when we came face to face. My wife asked me to report her to HR, but I did not because she never messaged me about anything inappropriate. My wife checked with her friend Betty, and she told my wife that Jayla and her friends were discussing my weight loss and how I have completely

1:01:11 changed the way I dress. Again, I ignored it, as I wasn't sure this was enough to be reported to HR. The day before yesterday, during our Christmas party, Jayla approached me twice and asked me to join her on the dance floor. I declined and just went.

1:01:25 About my way.

1:01:26 By the end of the night, she came to me, started dancing suggestively in front of me, and did something highly inappropriate. I was shocked and fell back, spilling my drink on myself. Jayla's manager swooped in and told me she had too much to drink, and I never saw Jayla again at the party. When I reached home, my wife had already heard about the incident from Betty, She was crying and was angry at me. She blamed me for not reporting Jayla to HR when she had told me to. She also said I was wasted, which I was not, and had only three drinks during a three-hour party, and stank like whiskey. After I calmed her down, she asked me to shower and rest. She apologized before sleeping, but told me she felt very violated by Jayla's actions,

1:02:11 and I promised her I would meet with my manager and HR as soon as the office opened again, which is after New Year's. In the morning, I woke up and started getting ready to go to the gym. My wife asked me if I could not go to the gym. I said, okay, and we both cooked a nice breakfast and had fun family time with our toddler. Afterwards, my wife asked me if I could hold off going to the gym for a while. She told me that she feels insecure when other women look at me and yesterday was a deal breaker. We never had any similar issues in the 11 years of our marriage. She loved me just the way I was and did not care if I became muscular. She told me that the purpose of the gym was to lose weight and I have already

1:02:52 achieved it so I can just maintain where I am at and not work out further. Upon further probing, she told me that my losing weight had been a hot topic among her friends group and she had a fallout with one of her friends because she made some spicy related comments about me. All of this is making her very anxious. On one hand, I love working out now.

1:03:12 For the first time in my life, it makes me feel confident. On the other hand, I want my wife to be happy. And this is a very small price to pay in my books. I know she is being insecure and controlling, but I love her and the life we have built together. And all I want to do is see her being comfortable and happy. I am holding off going to the gym till New Year's and enjoying the holidays with my family. However, am I wrong to want to continue after that? How do I convince my wife to not be insecure? I know there is no switch.

1:03:42 And what have people in this situation done? And there is an update.

1:03:46 A couple things you can do. you know, obviously the easy one is you stop doing the gym, but that's not going to make you happy. It's gonna make your wife happy, but we, I agree. I already can tell that it's not gonna make you happy.

1:04:00 Yeah.

1:04:01 So that, that's not a good compromise. Um, yeah.

1:04:05 The fact that this is like a normal hobby that people have, that when you feel, when you work out, you feel good, especially when you see progress, you kind of get a to that.

1:04:15 But not in a bad way, just in a good way of like, I feel good. I'm watching what I eat. I'm doing the work. I'm putting in, you know, self-discipline.

1:04:25 Like, everything's working out. And OP seems like a great husband, great partner. He's like, he wants to make his wife happy. I think what you need to do, there's two options that really sprung to me was, one, bring her to the gym with you. Work out with your wife.

1:04:43 If you have a.

1:04:44 Toddler, maybe a babysitter, but maybe.

1:04:47 You should come... Sometimes they have babysitting at gyms.

1:04:49 At the gym, yeah. Maybe... You know what? Bring the toddler to the gym. Get that toddler swole.

1:04:54 Come on. Start him young.

1:04:57 That's the first one. And if she doesn't want to do that option, second option, counseling.

1:05:01 Yeah.

1:05:02 I think she would benefit from some therapy because insecurity, insecurity, very hard.

1:05:11 to treat on your own.

1:05:12 Once that seed is planted yeah it's really hard and the fear just keeps or anxiety just keeps repeating itself it's never gonna leave.

1:05:20 Yeah you gotta she definitely like she's seen you do all the work and i think maybe you know it makes her insecure makes her a little jealous you know uh and she's seeing all the attention that you're getting and now maybe it was reversed the way before and now she feels left in the dark or.

1:05:38 Something I think I agree with Keon.

1:05:41 Like either go, she can also come to the gym with you or definitely like seek counseling. Like not, it doesn't need to be couples counseling more just her because it seems like she's, she has this internal problem that she's not dealing with and it's only gonna keep getting worse and worse if she just keeps pushing under the rug.

1:05:59 Truly.

1:05:59 But she shouldn't be offended or not supported by, because you're supporting yourself.

1:06:08 That's a red flag to me.

1:06:09 You just need to tell her, hey, I understand. It's not fair to me to completely just stop doing that. Maybe update less, but let's find out in this update.

1:06:23 Update!

1:06:24 To be honest, after reading the comments during the few hours or so, I realized I was the a-hole for posting about my wife's reaction in such a sensitive situation. I just wanted to get perspectives from people in a comparable situation. However, I just had the internet judge her when she was at her most vulnerable. I tried to defend her in the comments section, but things got out of hand quickly and I decided to just stop reading the comments for a while and plan my day.

1:06:51 I wanted to.

1:06:52 Thank a lot of people who pointed out that her insecurity may be stemming from me not showing her that she is the most important person to me. I cooked her a nice dinner, and I asked her after dinner if I had been ignoring her due to the gym or if I had given her any reason to mistrust me. According to her, I have been fine, but she has been having issues for many months now.

1:07:14 Oh.

1:07:15 She said she was.

1:07:15 Proud of what I had achieved, and initially, she used to feel good when everyone complimented me. However, she did start getting insecure when I started receiving more female attention. She also felt I was enjoying it and didn't put enough boundaries. Her examples were that a lot of my female friends were complimenting my body and getting handsy, like pressing my arms and hugging excessively, and I didn't stop that.

1:07:40 She also said that she caught some of her friends talking to me in a very flirty way, but I just kept on being polite and continued talking as normal. Also, she didn't like her friends talking about me or asking her constantly if I was going to come to the get-togethers. When one of her friends expressed some pretty disgusting thoughts to another friend in private and she came to know, there was a big fight in their group. Some of her friends also cut contact with that friend. Overall, she has been struggling with these thoughts for the last six months and talks to her therapist about it. She also mentioned that food was an important part of our relationship.

1:08:17 She is an amazing cook and loves to bake. Although she still bakes for my kids, she said that I only eat in very small portions when she cooks nice meals for me. It feels as if she is only cooking for herself and has stopped making nice meals. She used to enjoy the fact that I liked her cooking. She also misses the food I used to cook for her.

1:08:37 So we set some ground rules. A, I won't talk about how I am getting my 180 gram of protein every day. Okay, that one kind of sounds a little weird and, like, pushy, though. eat it and I will enjoy it. See, she can ask me to cook her favorite meals and I must oblige.

1:08:55 Okay. That one kind of sounds a little weird and like pushy though.

1:09:00 Like when I ask you to make your meals, you stop everything you're doing to make it. Like I must oblige.

1:09:06 Yeah.

1:09:06 Weird, weird way of wording it. I think I understand.

1:09:09 Yeah.

1:09:09 I don't think that's what you meant, but very weird.

1:09:12 And of course she never intended for me to stop going to the gym and was just upset with the whole situation.

1:09:16 So that is resolved. Um, I don't know.

1:09:19 I mean, it seems like you guys are trying to find a good compromise, which, but hopefully I think you both understand where you're both coming from. And that compromise is a good middle for both of you.

1:09:31 Yeah.

1:09:32 I think that you guys are, you're figuring it out and it is a new chapter in your lives. And, and he's, you know, OP is trying to figure it out. OP's wife's trying to figure it out. And you're also trying to figure it out together. So I think the more you communicate, the better it's going to get. As for Jayla, the situation is still ongoing. My manager talked to me the day after the incident and told me she wouldn't take it lightly and had already contacted HR.

1:09:59 HR reached out to me yesterday afternoon to paraphrase their email. It talked about how they want to create a safe workplace, blah, blah. Jayla gave a letter of apology to her manager and her manager forwarded it to HR. She said that she was offered too many shots and got blackout wasted and does not remember the end of the evening. She thanked her manager for taking her to her hotel room safely.

1:10:23 She also offered to never drink booze at corporate events or during office happy hours. HR set up a meeting with me and my manager after we get back from the break, as they want to make sure I am okay. I wanted to get an opinion from anyone who works in HR here. I'm going to tell my side of the story, including the past messages, etc. However, what is the process that HR follows here? What is really the point of this and what outcome should I expect?

1:10:48 P.S.

1:10:49 Thanks to people who messaged me about mental health stuff and PPD. I am sorry I ignored all of your chats, but appreciate it. And that's the end. Wow. Well, it seems like things are kind of working themselves out in a way. I just hope that, I mean, I don't really care about Jayla. Whatever happens to her happens. She kind of did to herself, so whatever.

1:11:11 Yeah, honestly, I'm not being friendly with Jayla anymore. I'm like, okay, I'm being professional with you, but I'm not being friendly.

1:11:16 Yeah, if she even stays.

1:11:18 Who knows if don't fire her or not but I don't know I think that again the more you communicate the more things are gonna go smooth for you guys so I think just keep the communication and you know keep the love there truly and take care of your toddler as well bring him to the gym that's the end of that story we got another one come.

1:11:38 Around up hey this is Riley your favorite southern belle we're gonna get back to these stories but here's three minutes worth of ads from our sponsors.

1:11:47 My husband always takes my sister's side, so I finally asked him why.

1:11:51 What, do you have a crush on her or something?

1:11:53 The other day, my husband, 39 male, and I, 39 female, were at my sister Laura's, 45 females, house for my nephew's 6th birthday party. It was her family, my mom, my older sister, and us. My mom has always liked having nice pictures of everyone whenever we have family events, so we usually dress somewhat nice. It's not a big deal if one of us doesn't, but that tends to be our tradition. Laura had to do some work earlier and didn't finish until we were almost done making dinner.

1:12:21 When dinner was finished, she was just in a sweatshirt and yoga pants. We tease each other all the time, so I made a joke about how we'd have to leave her out of the picture this year. She laughed and went on with the party. Obviously, she was in the picture when we took it. It was just a dumb joke. After my husband and I got home... He made a comment about how rude it was for me to criticize Laura for the way she was dressed in her own home. I told him it was a joke, and she even laughed at it, but he still insisted that it was rude, and that Laura's just too nice to say anything about it and make any waves. We got into a bit of a fight about it, because there have been many times in the past where I

1:13:01 would get mad at Laura about something, and he'd try to defend her instead of taking my side. By the way, this comes from a deleted user, and if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash okstorytime subreddit. I'm Keon.

1:13:15 I'm Savannah.

1:13:16 And we're here to give good advice goofily. We don't know everything. We only know what we do, so let us know what you do in the comments down below. Please. As Opie says... So, during this fight, I admitted I was slightly annoyed that my mom and I spent so much time cooking and making the cake... And we still managed to dress up like usual, while Laura had a good hour after she was done working to throw on a nice shirt or a dress or just something nice, especially since we were at her house. I wasn't angry about it. It was just like a passing thought I had when she came in for dinner dressed like that.

1:13:51 At that point, my husband said, that it didn't matter what Laura wore because she looks good no matter what. He's never said that about me before. He's never said I look bad or anything, but he only ever compliments my appearance when I dress nicely. This really pissed me off, since he was again defending her against me. I asked him if he thought she was prettier than me, and he tried to deny it at first. I reminded him what he just said about her looking good no matter what, and how he's always saying how much he admires her and thinks she's a great person. He finally admitted that he does think she's really pretty. Prettier than OP? You could say, yeah, pretty, your mom's pretty, she's pretty, but

1:14:35 is she prettier than OP?

1:14:37 And the answer is no. Always no. You were the prettiest person ever.

1:14:43 Then he tried to backpedal and claimed that while he thinks she's attractive, he isn't attracted to her. I blew up at him and said some things I regret. I made him sleep in the guest room that night, and he's still sleeping in there. When I tried to discuss things with him, he said he didn't want to talk about it. I can't believe this whole mess happened because he got mad about a joke I made on someone else's behalf, especially since it's my sister's.

1:15:06 Yeah, don't get in the middle of sister stuff.

1:15:08 Sister, sister. It sounds so stupid that I don't want to talk to my family or friends about this situation, but I also don't like how much of a rift it seems to have caused between us. Am I wrong for getting mad over what he said about my sister? And we have an update two days later. I think we opened up a can of worms, or at least he did.

1:15:26 Yeah, he kind of dug himself his own grave here.

1:15:30 Yeah, Opie, you went back to the drawing board and went, Huh, he only has nice things to say about my sister. and always takes her side. Oh.

1:15:40 It's like you said, if you like her so much, why don't you marry her? And he went... Wait, wait, wait, wait, yeah.

1:15:45 He's like, oh, wait, wait, wait.

1:15:46 I'm married to you.

1:15:48 Literally like, oh, wait, no, I have the better, prettier sister.

1:15:53 Right?

1:15:54 Update two days later. After reading through the comments... I decided to apologize to my sister for the joke I made and talk to her about some of the things that have been bothering me. She told me I didn't need to apologize. Again, it sounded like very sibling banter to me. Even friendly banter.

1:16:10 Yeah, I would say friends would do this.

1:16:13 Yeah, if I'm with my friends, they'd be like, you want to wear a suit next time? Just jokingly, sarcastically.

1:16:20 Literally on my sister's birthday, she bought this new outfit and.

1:16:23 It was this huge... puffy.

1:16:25 Flowy thing and we were on the beach and it was just waving everywhere and it just like it made her look like huge because it like puffed out and I said why do you look like a cotton ball and then she was like on my birthday and like that was it.

1:16:39 And you go like honestly any day of the week any day of.

1:16:42 The year yeah and she and all of her friends were there and all of her and she told all of her friends she's like wow like okay but she but she thought it was funny obviously she's not gonna get take it seriously.

1:16:53 LP continues saying My sister told me I didn't need to apologize and swore she wasn't offended. But when I explained that I had some resentment built up and the joke was passive-aggressive, we talked for a while about the situation. She apologized for taking me for granted sometimes and assuming I'd do things without asking. She told me she's very appreciative of all the help I've given her with my niece and my nephews. We decided that we'd talk every Saturday to go over any childcare or other things that she might need me to do for the upcoming week so there's no more avoidable surprises for me. Overall, I feel good about the way things worked out with her.

1:17:29 We also agree that any days I want a break, we'll schedule them in so she has time to find alternative childcare. I think that will make it feel less overwhelming for me. Even if I don't take a day off, knowing I could take off without leaving her in the lurch makes me feel better about saying no every now and then. Now, The situation with my husband was a little less positive, so negative. When he finally agreed to talk, he admitted he's attracted to my sister.

1:17:55 No, I mean, that is it for me. I'm sorry, but that's, like, I don't like that.

1:18:02 But he swore that he's not in love with her. That's good. That's a great, great thing to say.

1:18:09 No. He's been showing it since day one, though. Like, that's the thing, and you've just.

1:18:14 You've always noticed it, but you've never said anything. And this is the one time you're saying something. And he's like, yeah, I do. I do like her.

1:18:21 It's like if we're just like being honest with each other now. Yeah, dude, not not good. He said he has a limerence for her. He admires her a lot and thinks about her all the time. This guy's not helping his case.

1:18:32 Buddy, that's a crush.

1:18:34 Where's the shovel? He's digging, but he doesn't want to be with her.

1:18:40 You mean you can't be with her because you're married.

1:18:43 To me.

1:18:43 Yeah, to her sister.

1:18:45 He said that, realistically, he knows they don't have much in common and wouldn't work as a couple. but he can't stop thinking about her.

1:18:53 Oh my god dude.

1:18:54 You really don't know how to speak and use your words now do you.

1:18:58 That you were just i mean you've done you have you have dug six graves now you gotta you get the all right can you breathe are you all right Like, get your head above the water.

1:19:12 I'm sorry, but it wouldn't work. For me, at least, I'm not going through that.

1:19:16 I'm going to keep bringing it up. I will keep bringing it up. Oh, so you think she's better than me.

1:19:20 And it's the whole time.

1:19:21 You attracted her. Oh, okay. But at least you're not in love with her, right? You always take her side. I don't know. This is heading towards a bad, bad place. Or a good place. Divorce.

1:19:34 I don't like it. I would be done.

1:19:36 I'd be like, okay, well, just stay away from me and my family because this isn't going to work.

1:19:41 Because that would be now all that I think about. That would consume my mind.

1:19:45 Yeah.

1:19:45 I'm not doing that.

1:19:46 Opie finishes up with, I wasn't really sure how to respond to that. He swears he's never tried to make a move on her and never would. I'm pretty sure my sister would have told me if he had. So, I believe him in that part. I told him we really needed to see a marriage counselor and... He tentatively agreed.

1:20:05 But when I told him he really needed to see a therapist about his limerence, he said individual therapy would be a waste of time for him.

1:20:11 Mmm, right.

1:20:13 Sounds like he's a waste of time for you, OP.

1:20:15 Yeah.

1:20:16 So, we got an appointment with a marriage counselor in June. So, I guess we'll see how that goes. I'll probably have a lot of people saying I'm just being jealous again. But I'm not sure if I can deal with staying married to someone who is constantly thinking about another woman. Let alone... My sister. If he can help get to control those thoughts or make them stop, it would go a long way to saving our relationship. I don't know how that'll happen if he doesn't see a therapist for it, but I'm hoping maybe once we start with marriage counselor or marriage counseling, he'll see the benefits of individual therapy too.

1:20:51 That's the end of that story.

1:20:52 Yikes.

1:20:54 Nope.

1:20:54 I'd be done.

1:20:55 I couldn't stop thinking about it.

1:20:58 Yeah.

1:20:58 If.

1:20:59 the person that I have been with and married to and like everything else under the sun, like if I've done everything with them and then they just drop this bomb of just like, I actually like your sister, I would be crushed beyond repair.

1:21:14 And I wouldn't.

1:21:15 Even, the thing is, I don't know how you are OP. I know marriage counseling would do nothing for me. I mean, maybe I would like try it, but I just know, me being me, I'd be like, there is no way coming back from this.

1:21:28 It's the last line of defense to just try, but boy, oh boy.

1:21:31 I mean, it would be uncomfortable going to family events or going to all.

1:21:35 Of that just seeing that.

1:21:36 It's not your sister's fault at all.

1:21:37 I would be thinking about every time he defended her or said something like a comment about her. I'd be like, oh, oh, oh.

1:21:46 The fact that he said, I think about her all the time. Like, that is waving the red flag in front of your face for... for the rest of your life. That's all I see, truthfully.

1:22:00 Well, best of luck, OP. I hope it works out for you, but we're climbing uphill right now. We'll see. So, good luck. That is the end of the story and the end of this episode.