I told my cousin to STOP eating my cakes... and it started a family uproar! -r/AmITheAsshole | Reddit Stories | EP3072

0:00 Hey, this is Angie.

0:01 And this is Carly, your favorite OK Storytime hosts, and we've got some great stories coming up.

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0:11 I told my cousin to stop eating my cakes, and it started a family uproar. She's hungry. I bake a lot. It's one of my favorite hobbies, and my family meets up most Saturdays at my grandmother's house.

0:25 We live pretty close, and we've had this routine for years.

0:28 So it's usually me, my dad, my gran and my granddad, my auntie and my two cousins. The cousin in question is 22 male. It's become customary that every weekend when we go over, I bring some of my baking along. It can be a full cake, a tray bake, cupcakes, etc. If any is left over, then either my gran will keep it or my dad will take it home and dish it out at work.

0:53 No big deal.

0:53 The problem I have with my cousin is that no matter when I offer him my baking, he will eat some of it and then I recently discovered that he will just bin the rest. Not because he doesn't like it. He'll just say, I'm full or I've had enough. Okay, then. So this goes on for a few weeks, and I keep seeing that he'll throw half of it away, which I think is pretty dang rude.

1:15 I agree.

1:16 I think that's extremely rude.

1:18 Yeah, just save it for later, dude.

1:20 Or give it to me.

1:21 Or stop wasting.

1:22 Yeah, just take a smaller piece. Yeah, take a small slice. What?

1:25 Hmm.

1:26 So I go up to him and say, if I'm cutting slices too big or if the portion is too big for him, why doesn't he cut it himself? So I start bringing the cakes and tray bakes, et cetera, in whole and offer a knife around to everyone so they can cut as much as they want. So he will cut the size proportion he wants. And then I opened the bin last week. and still discover about half a slice of flapjack in the bin. For the record, he doesn't have any kind of eating disorder, any kind of intolerances, and has always been the kind of person, if we ever eat out, to just eat what he wants and leave the rest. The idea of leftovers seems to be a foreign concept to him. By the way, this comes from Jankstomans, and if you want to submit

2:08 your own stories, go to the r slash okay story time subreddit.

2:11 I'm Savannah. I'm Sophia.

2:13 I'm Cakes. Keon.

2:14 Ooh, and we're here to talk about some stuff, give some advice, but we don't have all of the answers that you may seek. We will only tell you what we know. Take it with a grain of salt. And then you're going to tell us what you know in the comments. Please. And I'm going to take that with a grain of salt as well.

2:29 Or a grain of sugar.

2:30 Ooh.

2:31 Please.

2:32 Get it? Cakes, sugar, baking, yum, vegetable oil. Please tell us. I confronted him about it and texted words the effect of, I think it's really disrespectful of you to waste food and the fact that I'm offering you to cut.

2:46 As much as you want.

2:47 And you also have the option to just not have anything at all. I don't want you eating my baking anymore. The rest of the family enjoys it, but you obviously don't respect the work that goes into my baking. So from now on, I'm not going to let you have any.

3:01 Thanks. That's kind of hard. That was a lot.

3:04 That's very hard.

3:05 I honestly would have just given it really small slices.

3:08 Yeah, I just would have been like, or like share it.

3:11 Yeah.

3:12 As of writing this, it's Monday now and there is still discourse going on about it. My aunt, his mother particularly. is saying it is really unfair of me to say that, that it will make things very awkward for him being over at weekends because he will be left out. I explained the situation to her and how I felt disrespected, not to mention a bit offended at his attitude to food waste, so then suggested that I just stop bringing my baking over at all. This has caused an uproar with my family saying that they love my baking. They enjoy having it over morning coffee, but it's unfair just to leave one person out, etc, etc. And it's all the biggest load of nonsense over nothing.

3:52 It really is. Basically, my cousin wastes food I make for him. I don't like it. And so I said, I don't want him wasting it again. Family is mad.

4:01 Because they want their cake. and to eat it too, literally. Am I the a-hole here? Or is this just being blown as out of proportion as I think it is?

4:12 I don't think you owe your baking to anyone. I don't think, if you don't want to give it to anyone, like if you don't want to give it to someone, then don't give it to them.

4:20 That's, you made that.

4:21 I think it was a little bit dramatic of everyone. Yeah.

4:25 I feel like I just, I don't know if I would, I mean, hmm.

4:28 I feel like I would just stop giving that person something or just like little tiny thing or ask him why he's not eating all of it.

4:35 I don't know.

4:36 Or just not give it to him and not say anything.

4:37 Just stop giving it to him. Yeah.

4:39 I don't know if I would say anything. I would just be like, you know, just.

4:42 Well, I think confronting him in, I mean, maybe not as intense, but just like, hey.

4:47 Yeah.

4:47 What's going on?

4:47 Why are you eating my food?

4:48 Why are you throwing it away? Like, stop taking so much. Do we not know how proportions work?

4:52 I would probably do it that way.

4:52 I don't know if I would need to do it so seriously.

4:54 Yeah, exactly.

4:55 Just being like, hey, stop eating. Stop taking so much.

4:57 I would just be like, hey, when you're done, give it to me. I'll eat it.

5:00 Yeah, there we go.

5:01 Why are we wasting food kind of thing?

5:03 Yeah.

5:04 I think I would just call him out in a more casual way.

5:06 And then if they stop, great. If they keep doing it, then I'd be like, all right, no more for you.

5:12 Yeah.

5:13 Stop wasting my food.

5:13 Or I'm cutting it for you and I'm giving you little pieces.

5:17 Yeah.

5:17 Every time you don't eat all of it, I have that.

5:20 I have it.

5:21 Yeah.

5:21 There is an edit with some info here. I started letting him cut his own portion size weeks ago. This is not a one-time reaction. This is my reaction to my cakes and bakes being repeatedly thrown in the bin despite the Him cutting his own portion. He is under no obligation to take any and never has been. If he wants a mouthful only, he is free to take a teaspoon. If he didn't want to eat my baking anymore, I would be fine with that. It's the cutting his own portion and still insisting on cutting too much for himself and then resorting to throwing it away that prompted my reaction.

5:55 I would just go, okay, see, you're done with it. Tin foil. Boom.

5:59 Yeah.

5:59 Put in the fridge.

6:01 I'm going to show you some magic. Okay. It's still there for tomorrow.

6:05 I do not care if he doesn't like my baking. I do, however, care about waste. I am not digging through the trash. It's a foot pedal bin. You can quite clearly see inside when you open it to throw away other things. Oh, and that's it.

6:19 And there we go. Well, I mean, I understand getting offended. Yeah.

6:23 But also.

6:24 You know, it's like art.

6:25 Not everyone's going to like it. It's subjective. People like, but he does like it.

6:29 He does like it.

6:29 He does like it.

6:30 Not to finish it all.

6:31 Yeah, not to finish it all.

6:32 Don't waste the food.

6:33 I mean, I think it's annoying, but also.

6:35 I don't know.

6:38 I think we could call him out in a little bit less dramatic way.

6:41 Yeah.

6:42 Yeah.

6:42 I don't know.

6:43 Because he's your cousin or something. Nephew. Be something to you. It's cousin. Just be like, dude, stop it.

6:49 Hey, knock it off.

6:50 Yeah.

6:50 And that's the end of the story. We're going to go on to the next one.

6:54 My brother's girlfriend stole my dirty laundry, so I set a trap.

6:59 Freak, that's mine.

7:01 When I was younger, my brother had a girlfriend who would steal my dirty underwear and wear them without washing.

7:07 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what, what, what, what, what, what? Vomit, ew, yucky.

7:12 I had a suspicion when my clothes were disappearing. Shirts, pants, bras, and then underwear. I've asked her to stop taking my clothes previously before knowing about my underwear being part of the deal. It was confirmed when I saw my underwear that I had just discarded it into the dirty laundry basket an hour prior and she bent over. When she bent over, her pants had fallen a bit, enough for me to see my own underwear.

7:36 That's disgusting.

7:37 That's foul.

7:37 That's disgusting.

7:39 That's foul.

7:40 Ew.

7:41 Don't you underwear?

7:42 What?

7:43 For some context, growing up, I was the one doing everyone's laundry. We would have a laundry basket in the bathroom for dirty clothes. I would sort, wash, hang up, take down, and fold everyone's clothes before taking them to everyone's rooms.

7:55 Weird in its own right, if you ask.

7:57 Me, but I digress. There was six adults and two young people, including me being younger. After seeing my dirty underwear on her butt, I couldn't believe it. I thought maybe she had a pair like mine, a variety pack from Walmart or something. But I realized I'd only seen mine while doing the laundry. I didn't want to ask her outright because in the off chance that I was wrong, it would be a weird accusation. Plus, I've always been shy, but more so when I was a teenager.

8:22 It's even worse. She's stealing dirty underwear from a teenager. That's gross. That's gross. That's gross.

8:28 By the way, this comes from this inspection. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash showcase story time subreddit.

8:34 I'm Sophia. I'm Savannah.

8:35 I'm Keon.

8:36 And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we don't have all the answers. We only know what we do. So let us know what you would do in the comments.

8:42 And Opie says.

8:43 So I tested the theory. I took a picture of the next pair of underwear that I took off, sitting on top of the laundry pile, took my shower, and checked back about.

8:51 An hour later.

8:52 They were gone.

8:53 Ew!

8:55 That's freaky. I do not want that. I would feel.

8:59 I mean.

8:59 I'd be like, what if I have a disease? I would feel unsafe. I would feel very unsafe.

9:04 I checked everywhere in the bathroom. When she and my brother left to go to the store, I went to see if they were anywhere in the room.

9:10 Nope, gone.

9:11 When they came back, I was helping with groceries. She bent down to pick up a bag, and there on her butt were my test underwear.

9:18 That's just nasty.

9:19 Why?

9:20 Also, why is she wearing so many low-rise?

9:23 Yeah, also, get a belt.

9:26 Also, get a freaking belt.

9:27 Pull up your pants, you sleazebag. At this point, I asked her if she was wearing my underwear. She denied it. I told her I knew those were mine. and she tried to say I must have put them in her clean clothes pile by mistake. I told her that they hadn't been washed yet, because I just took them off today and left them in the bathroom.

9:44 I showed the picture. She left the room crying.

9:47 Dang. Dang.

9:49 I called afterward to stop taking my clothes. After this, I started keeping my dirty laundry in my room. Soon after, I noticed that my clothes started disappearing again. Turns out she would go into my room when I'm at school. I confirmed this by just opening the door to the room when they left and found my clothes scattered across it.

10:07 I mean, I'm asking my brother. Hey, tell your girlfriend to stop stealing my clothes.

10:11 Yeah, it's weird.

10:12 And it's also the fact that they're all like dirty clothes.

10:15 Yeah.

10:16 None of them are like clean. And why doesn't she just ask if she needs something?

10:19 Yeah.

10:20 Just be like, hey, can I borrow like a hoodie or something?

10:22 This is foul.

10:23 Yeah, it's gross.

10:24 At this point, I've had enough. So on to my confession. The next time I was hanging laundry, I noticed a cactus.

10:31 Oh, no.

10:31 What?

10:32 No, I don't know what. No, I don't know what's going to happen. But a cactus underwear? No. No, no, no, no.

10:38 Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. I'm scared.

10:41 That we head out back near the clothesline. I thought of the pair of underwear I confronted her about with the picture. I couldn't bring myself to wear them even after I washed them. I thought to myself, it won't be any harm as long as she doesn't wear them.

10:53 Oh, P.

10:54 Oh, P, you know she gonna wear them. Oh, this is the worst way to handle this.

11:02 I don't know what's.

11:03 Are you just gonna, like, put it on display? Are you gonna... Give it to the cactus?

11:07 You might feel a little prick. Let's go with that.

11:10 Yeah.

11:10 I took the haunted underwear, held it taut, rubbed it on the cactus, then put it in a spot in my room that it would appear dirty and left for school.

11:19 Oh. That's like illegal.

11:22 Well, she's stealing her own underwear. Maybe don't steal it. She's told you to stop and you just keep doing it. Yes.

11:30 I put like itching powder.

11:31 Itching powder would be better than this. This might send her to the hospital. I came home to see that the pair of underwear was gone. I saw her later that day walking funny and she couldn't look at me. She never said anything about it, but I've heard through the wall we shared that she needs help.

11:46 Getting the pricklies off. Oh my God.

11:51 Oh, my.

11:52 Oh, no.

11:54 I thought that I was sly about it, LOL, but it turns out my brother put two and two together. Years later, after the relationship ended, he comedically brought up the story at a get-together, ending it with, Yes, Opie, I know that was you, and we couldn't control our laughter. I clarified some things about the situation to him in the conversation, since he wasn't fully aware due to the lies from his girlfriend, now ex, and trying to stay out of girl drama. He was under the impression that it was other items of clean clothing. Definitely wasn't my finest moment, but she got the pokey.

12:23 She got the pokey pokey.

12:25 She got her clam poked. Ow.

12:28 Ooh, owie.

12:30 This feels like.

12:31 Cactus-y. The moments when... When people put, like, laxatives in.

12:37 You know, like, when there's, like, stories where people are eating other people's food at the office?

12:42 Yeah, yes.

12:43 Yeah, and, like, someone, they're like, oh, I put laxatives in the food. That feels like if you put itching powder in the underwear. Putting cactus spikes in underwear feels like if you put, like, something that would make them vomit.

12:57 Profusely.

12:57 Profusely.

12:58 That feels like the comparison there. Like, you put arsenic. Yeah, maybe not arsenic, but, like.

13:03 Her meat section hurts. Yeah, that feels pretty intense.

13:10 But you were 16. My crotch hurts. Don't do that, folks.

13:15 Don't do that. Don't do that.

13:17 I don't know.

13:18 Don't take people's dirty laundry.

13:20 Yeah, I didn't think we'd have to say this as a public announcement, but don't do that.

13:24 Don't take people's underwear, but also don't do this as revenge. That could have been really.

13:29 Really bad. Oof.

13:31 And that's the end of the story. We're going to go on to the next one.

13:34 My stepdaughter uninvited her sister from a party, so I refused to bring her gifts. Bring her back! My 43-female stepdaughter, 23-female Sally, invited me to her baby shower along with her sisters, Lee, 25, Callie, 25, and Amanda, 13. We were all over at my parents' house for a cookout. We usually do all holidays there since my mother has dementia, also important. And I go over every weekend to give my dad some much needed time away from home. When she invited us, Lee let her know that she could not go to the last weekend of the month.

14:09 This is important as she.

14:10 Works that weekend. When the date was announced, it was May 30th, so Leigh was not going to be able to attend. Leigh said that was alright as she understood Sally's mom planned the baby shower and she would just do something with Sally at a later time. Callie, Amanda, and I really enjoyed shopping for the little one. Callie let us know she was having a boy and they were doing Winnie the Pooh for the baby room.

14:33 Love that. I love Anita Poole. We went all out.

14:37 My husband and I got the video baby monitor they were wanting with an extra camera. Tons of baby clothes all six to 12 months since most people buy newborn two, three months. I actually had Sally over to give her some things because I went a little overboard.

14:53 By the way, this comes from Patty Cake Doll.

14:56 And if you want to spin your own stories, go to the RSI Showcase Storytime subreddit. I'm Savannah.

15:00 I'm Sophia.

15:01 I'm Keon.

15:02 And we are here to give good advice goofily, but we don't have all the answers. We only tell you what we do.

15:07 But let us know what you would do down in the comments, please.

15:10 As Opie says, the day before the shower arrives, Sally sends a message in the family group chat that says, I'm so excited to see everyone at the baby shower tomorrow. As a reminder, the shower is for people 20 and up only. No children allowed. Amanda gets very upset and messages, does that include me? Sally never responded. The next morning comes and I respond, since we've still not heard from Sally, that if Amanda was not welcome to come and celebrate her first nephew and her sister, then I would just drop my gifts at Sally's another time. Still no response.

15:43 Keep in mind, she had invited Amanda at the cookout, and had never said anything about it being an adult-only occasion. Callie also decides not to go because now Sally has excluded Lee and Amanda and felt it was extremely rude, especially to wait until the day before. A whole week goes by and no one hears anything from Sally. But we did hear from my daughter-in-law that Sally is moving to be closer to her bio mom at the end of July. Sally messages me that Friday and also when I'm planning on dropping off the baby gifts. I let her know I'm at work and can't talk right now.

16:14 Another week.

16:15 And she messages me on Saturday asking if I can drop off the gifts or if she should come by and pick them up. As I said, on the weekends, I am with my mom, and at this point, it's been two weeks that the only thing I've heard from Sally is, when are you dropping off gifts? I lost it, and this is where I may be the a-hole. I text her, honestly, I'm tired of feeling used. You've broken your sister's and your dad's heart. You've left the family out of everything, including the gender reveal, and didn't even bother to tell us you're moving. I'm not bringing the gifts by. Dang.

16:47 Wow. OP texted that? OP texted that. Okay, okay. OP said, I stayed on business. You don't include your sister?

16:54 You don't get a gift. The next thing I know is her mother is texting me.

16:58 A little backstory.

16:59 While my husband and I were searching for a new house, we found one with an apartment out back and told Sally if we got that house, she could move into that apartment. We ended up not buying that house and got a smaller one. Sally came to us asking if she and her boyfriend could move in. This was about two years ago. We told her we didn't have room as Amanda. And her two brothers had the other rooms.

17:18 And in fact, one brother was in the basement that was unfinished. Two weeks later, she shows up with her boyfriend, her mom, and all of their Sally and the boyfriend stuff saying her mom got a new house with only two bedrooms and they could not stay there. So we split the basement in half because what else can we do and give them half? That's kind of crappy.

17:38 Yeah.

17:39 We spoke with them and the agreement was $ 200 per person. Since neither of them were working, we agreed to start in two months to give them time to get a job.

17:47 He get a job. She never did.

17:49 Oh, come on, girly pop. Let's start chipping in. At one point, the basement flooded because Sally unplugged the sump pump to plug in her TV.

17:59 Sally!

17:59 Cue the cleanup! That's so stupid.

18:03 That's crazy.

18:04 All of this is thrown in my face by her mom. She messages me saying this is the last time I will make her daughter cry. That when the basement flooded, Sally got hurt and we did nothing. I offered to take her to the ER. She twisted her ankle. She refused and called her mom to take her instead. That we charged them $ 400 to stay in an unfinished basement after we invited them to move in with us. So if anyone is using someone, it's me using her daughter.

18:29 That's weird to throw that back. Yeah.

18:35 That's interesting.

18:36 That feels like the type of logic that my neighbor would have used this morning.

18:42 Sally still got her gifts. Her dad took them to her. But was I the a-hole for refusing to take them? This has been weighing heavily on my mind. I have great relationships with all my stepchildren, but Sally has never liked me no matter what I do.

18:56 So, was I the a-hole?

18:58 No.

19:00 No.

19:01 She doesn't seem like she really... Communicates well? No, it seems like she's just kind of expecting everyone to know what... I don't know. She just expects a lot, it seems. Yeah, it seems like she's expecting a lot.

19:13 And I don't understand.

19:14 There's just... I mean, again, there's just no communication.

19:20 I don't really.

19:20 And then also for her to be like, oh, by the way, this person's uninvited. Like your own sister. Your own sister's uninvited?

19:28 Yeah, because she's 13. Even though she got very, you know, very excited, bought stuff for the baby.

19:35 You know, like you don't exclude. Well, that's why it feels.

19:38 Like she like this girl is taking advantage of people because she waited until her sister bought stuff and contributed and then.

19:44 Was like, you can't come. Oh, bummer. You can't come. Oh, boy. It's been about two weeks. two weeks since this went down.

19:52 I talk with Lee two to three times a week, and I mentioned I had posted this today. She let me know that Sally has blocked not only Amanda on social media, but her and Callie as well. No explanation and will not answer their, the older girl's texts. I know she had blocked Amanda. She did that the night she made the announcement about the baby shower, but I had no idea about the other girls. So I asked my sons, all three of them, Are also blocked. Two step-sons and my bio-son. I have no idea why.

20:21 This is weird.

20:23 All the bridges have been burned? Why?

20:25 I guess. I don't know.

20:26 She seems dramatic.

20:27 Overly.

20:28 Yeah. The boys did not get involved at all. Lee couldn't go because of work and had let Sally know before the shower was planned. And I guess Callie was blocked because she sided with her other sisters. Thank you for all the feedback, both the good and the bad.

20:43 What?

20:44 So then.

20:45 That's it?

20:46 Yeah, are you gonna, like.

20:48 Okay. Do something about this? Hope he's like, well, that's it. Yeah, I guess everyone's just blocked. No one can ever talk to anyone ever again.

20:55 All right, we're all blocked.

20:56 La la la.

20:57 La la la la la.

20:59 I don't know.

21:00 That pisses me off. Where it's like you don't get a reason or like the full on reasoning why you did it. You just went, OK, all of you block.

21:07 I just don't I.

21:08 Don't understand what the point of any of that was.

21:11 Who's like, why?

21:11 Why is she, you know, not letting her sister come and then blocking everyone, not talking to anyone?

21:17 Yeah.

21:18 Katie, I agree.

21:19 It's probably her bio mom has something to do with this. Seems like everyone's a little bit because, yeah, talking behind backs. It doesn't seem like things are. Things are looking up.

21:31 No, it seems like things are looking... I know what to do. Flooded. You take this, and you go.

21:41 Yeah, you do it to take on me, because that was the... No, I meant to... Who are you hitting?

21:45 Oh, to the girl.

21:46 The Sister Sally. Sister Sally. Christina the Greek says she just wanted gifts. She doesn't like them. Yeah, truthfully, and that's rude. Yeah.

21:56 And that's the end of the story. We're going to go on to the next one.

21:59 I uncovered my mother's years-long affair, so I finally exposed the truth. The truth will set you free! I, 20 female, have always had a tumultuous relationship with my mom, 42 female.

22:12 Dang. Honestly, it feels like it started the moment I was born.

22:15 Aw, dang.

22:16 She's accused me completely seriously of trying to separate my parents... Because when I was two years old, I sat between them on the couch. Your mom has serious issues. That kind of thinking has always defined a relationship. As I got older, the issues got bigger. My dad would often take my side because most of the time I was being logical and calm while my mom escalated everything. She has never taken accountability for anything. Instead, she deflects, rewrites events or makes herself the victim. When she doesn't get her way, she yells, blows the situation up into something much bigger and refuses to acknowledge her part in it.

22:51 One time she came into my room and took some of my cash without asking. When I calmly brought it up, she said it wasn't really my money because I was the child and she was the adult. So she could take what she wanted.

23:01 Oh, right.

23:01 She said it's like taking candy from a baby. What are you going to.

23:04 Do about a little baby?

23:07 Cry.

23:07 Cry about it.

23:08 And then she bops.

23:09 You on the head.

23:09 That mindset eventually led her to taking $ 6, 000 from me.

23:14 Holy crap. $ 6, 000 is crazy.

23:18 How does a two-year-old have that? She's like, you're trying to destroy my marriage.

23:24 Give me all your money. How does a two-year-old have more money?

23:26 My baby empire.

23:31 She claimed it was for the house, but her pantry was empty while she always had new clothes and food for herself. By the way, this comes from nomunks7134, and if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash okstorytime subreddit.

23:43 I'm Sophia. I'm Savannah.

23:46 I'm Keon.

23:48 And we're here to give good advice, Goofily, but we don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do.

23:51 So let us know what you would do in the comments. She also hasn't worked for almost the entirety of my parents' marriage. and only recently got a job. Even so, she doesn't pay any of the household bills. My dad pays for everything, including paying off her credit card when she runs it up. Even after they separated, he is still financially supporting her in ways he shouldn't have to. and has no retirement savings to show for his hard work. Growing up, I was expected to do the majority of the cleaning and take care of my two younger brothers. She would constantly complain that nobody helps her. But when my dad or I tried, we were doing it wrong or touching her things without permission. It was impossible to win.

24:28 Yeah, been there, done that.

24:30 Thanks.

24:31 I mean that's it is my mom to a certain extent not like all of this yeah that's that's not like that but like my mom will be like oh yeah it's fine guys I'll get it don't worry you know whatever and then we go to help and she's like oh my god why are you putting it there and I'm like all right and that's when I just I'd rather get yelled at she was never.

24:48 Emotionally supportive either and anytime I expressed feelings she minimized them I've tried to set boundaries before they're always ignored usually with the reasoning that she is the adult and I am the child so my boundaries don't matter.

25:01 Wow, she sounds like a lovely lady.

25:03 I've tried to go low contact. I've told her I needed space, and she would chase me around the house and bang on my bedroom door until I continued the conversation.

25:11 Oh, God.

25:12 Nightmare.

25:13 Nightmare, nightmare, nightmare.

25:15 I've written her letters because it felt safer than talking in person. That's so sad. Yeah, this is bad.

25:22 Oh, that just broke my heart. All jokes aside, that actually broke my heart. To be like, I can't communicate with my mom because I feel more safe writing to her.

25:30 Fast forward. My parents are now separated. When they first separated, my mom moved into the in-law apartment attached to our house. But in November of last year, my pee-pee.

25:40 Pee-pee!

25:42 I'm assuming you.

25:43 My pepe.

25:44 Pepe?

25:45 I thought it was pepe, but I like pee-pee. Pepe like the frog.

25:49 Pepe like you.

25:52 Anyway, but in November of last year, my Pepe got very sick.

25:56 I just like how you read it, my pee-pee.

25:58 My pee-pee.

25:58 My pee-pee got very sick.

26:00 My pee-pee's sick.

26:01 My pee-pee had a lot of cactus in it.

26:05 My pee-pee pokey.

26:09 So she had to move out. So he and my Mimi could move in.

26:13 I think it is Pee-Pee. I think she calls her Grandpa Pee-Pee. Pee-Pee and Mimi? My Pee-Pee and Mimi. I like Pepe better.

26:20 Pepe and Meme?

26:21 Pepe, Meme.

26:23 No, it's Meme.

26:23 Yeah, it's just Meme.

26:24 It's Meme.

26:25 My Peep and Meme.

26:26 Yeah, do that.

26:28 My Pepe and Meme.

26:30 So he and my Mimi could move into that space. Around the time of the separation, my mom started spending all of her time with a man I'll call Pepe. 65 male They were together Constantly Gym Grocery tips To another town Hiking Morning and night Morning and night?

26:49 Oh, so why grocery trips to another town?

26:51 What's wrong with the grocery store in town? Alvin would pick her up right in front of her house all the time. It was obvious something was going on. I started digging and found out he was married and that they were having a full-blown affair. While she was out, I looked at her computer and found email after email about the relationship. About a year in, he said he needed a break because he and his wife were going to marriage counseling.

27:11 That guy stinks. Oh, we need a break. Should I? Yeah, I'm working on my marriage.

27:16 So if we could just take a break. I'm not breaking up with you. We will start this later. But just give me about like two, three months till this chills out.

27:23 Yeah, I need to get my relationship in a little bit better of a place before I continue my affair.

27:28 My God, I mean horrible.

27:30 Just put a bookmark in it.

27:32 Yeah, a little pause. During that time, my mom kept detailed diaries trying to convince him to leave his wife because she wasn't good enough and was just like my dad. There were explicit details and longs of their activities in her planner, plus them confessing their love for one another. It's been three to four years since the affair started, and I still haven't said anything. Recently, she wrote that Alvin's wife is getting suspicious.

27:57 Dear diary, I've been seeing Alvin for months now, but I feel that his wife is growing suspicious of our affair.

28:04 His wife is interfering into our affair.

28:06 I don't know what to do, Diary. Do you think I should ruin the relationship more? Or should I perhaps return to my dullard husband? I grow weary of him every day.

28:17 One or two, dear Diary.

28:19 One or two, chat. What do you think? Type one, if I should ruin his marriage. Type two, if I should just keep going with how it is. All right.

28:29 And ruin his marriage.

28:30 Type two. Oh, dear diary, you wrote type two?

28:34 Oh, no, dear.

28:35 Diary, you've written both.

28:37 Oh, shoot.

28:38 I'm just at an impasse.

28:40 I have been cheated on before and I genuinely believe she has a right to know. I have wanted to tell her for a long time, but I am afraid of what my mom would do to me or to my dad.

28:49 Yikes.

28:49 If she found out it was me. On top of all of this, I'm at a breaking point. My Mimi, who meant the world to me, passed away in November. My pee-pee's health has started.

28:59 Stop.

29:00 That's what it said.

29:02 It says pee-pee.

29:04 Is Mimi a pee-pee?

29:06 My pee-pee's health has started slowing him down.

29:09 You can't even say it.

29:11 And my dad is under so much stress, caring for him that his immune system is shot. The house has fallen behind because he's exhausted. The most recent argument actually started because the house was a mess and she refused to help clean it. I confronted her about not being there for us, not helping with the house, not helping with my pee-pee, not supporting my dad, and prioritizing.

29:32 Alvin over her family.

29:34 She said she deserves to maintain her mental health and that they're just friends.

29:37 Okay.

29:39 I said it's fine to have friends, but not when he's married and you spend all your time together, especially when his wife has made it clear he isn't to have female friends. As usual, she escalated and refused to take accountability. It's been a week since we've spoken and honestly, I'm okay with that. I've talked with my therapist and we think writing her another letter might be the best step.

29:58 explaining why I'm distancing myself and that I'd be open to reconnecting if she genuinely sought help and took accountability. She's been to therapy twice before, but each time concluded that everyone around her is the problem.

30:09 Yikes.

30:10 I don't want her at my wedding someday unless she has done real work on herself. Part of me thinks giving her the letter soon gives her time to show whether she's capable of change. But I don't want the fallout to land on my dad and brothers when they're already dealing.

30:24 With so much.

30:25 Does writing the letter and stepping away fully sound reasonable? Or is there a better way to handle this? And what would you do about Alvin's wife? Do I tell her? And if so, how would I do it safely? And we've got an update.

30:36 What do we do?

30:39 As for Alvin's little number over there, I'm going to say write a letter.

30:46 Yeah, let's write letters to everyone. Yeah, just write letters. Write as many letters as your heart desires. Kind of like a to all the boys I've loved before situation. Or even a 13 reason why.

31:00 Maybe not that one.

31:01 I can't even make a joke anymore. My PB hurts. My PB's sick.

31:10 My PB's sick.

31:11 We have an update more than three months later.

31:13 The same week I made the original post, my pee-pee passed away.

31:19 No!

31:20 Sophia had it.

31:21 Oh, and it's so bad.

31:22 It's so bad. You tried. You tried.

31:24 I have to change it to grandpa.

31:26 For the sake of that sentence, I have to change it to grandpa.

31:28 No, you have to.

31:29 You have to commit to the bit.

31:30 The same week I made the original post, my pee-pee passed away. We laid him to rest the following week, and things have been a complete whirlwind since. Naturally, the day my peepee passed away, my mom found a way to make it all about her. She looked my dad and aunt in the eye while they were with their passing away father and claimed she was having a worse day because she was physically injured at work. Girl, which is way worse than emotional injury. For context, she works with behaviorally challenged elementary-aged children. She then spent the next two weeks obsessing over Alvin and even tried to invite him to my grandfather's funeral.

32:03 Crazy.

32:04 As most of you suggested, I need to tell Alvin's wife. After the funeral, I did exactly that. I found her email address, created a burner account, and sent her the screenshots I took from my mom's email. I sent it on a Wednesday and didn't get an immediate reply, but by Monday, all heck broke loose.

32:20 Does your dad know?

32:21 I don't think he knows.

32:22 I don't know if he knows.

32:23 I don't know.

32:25 My mom received a phone call from the wife. After getting my email, the wife dug through her husband's phone records, found my mom's number, and called her. The real punter, my mom was in the car with Alvin when the wife called.

32:40 Oh, dang.

32:42 That's honestly power move. Yeah.

32:45 The wife blasted her, told her to stay away from her husband, then called her husband and ordered him home immediately. A massive blowout must have happened because later that week, my mom completely panicked. She went to the police station to try to file a restraining order against.

32:59 The wife and failed. For what? Yeah, for what?

33:03 She even showed my younger brothers a picture of the woman and her license plate, telling them to call her immediately if they saw her. Now my mom is convinced the wife has figured out their home address and she's terrified the wife has been parking across the street waiting for her and claims she's even been stalking her outside of the gym. But despite claiming she is scared for her life and despite dragging my younger brothers into her paranoia, she still goes to Alvin's house that he shares with his wife and adult children.

33:28 Huh?

33:29 Wait, what? I.

33:30 I think that OP is, I think OP's mom, at least from what OP said in the past, has some sort of paranoid slang, not schizophrenia, but like, you know, like as paranoia, paranoia that is unfounded. Um, like I think she's a lot wrong with her. But it seems like I don't know if any of that.

33:49 Is actually happening. It's undiagnosed.

33:52 That blinding fear didn't stop her from going right over that very Saturday. For the last couple of months, she has actively continued to see him, shop with him, and talk about him nonstop.

34:03 Whoa.

34:03 And if that wasn't enough, right before my peepee passed away, I uncovered a massive family secret. My parents are already divorced.

34:10 Oh.

34:11 Oh.

34:12 Oh.

34:12 Oh?

34:13 Dang.

34:14 Since when?

34:15 Yeah, what?

34:16 So technically, this, well, no, because she is still infringing on their marriage.

34:21 Okay.

34:22 Back in October of last year, they went to divorce court and legally ended their marriage. They decided to tell absolutely no one until the chaos calmed down.

34:30 So the chaos could come back up?

34:32 Yeah, why?

34:33 I only found out because my aunt and I were going through Pee Pee's will and trust. I was spiraling, terrified that my mom was going to find a way to take further advantage of my dad financially. To stop me from worrying, my aunt finally looked at me and said, they're already divorced. I was instantly relieved. Honestly, my dad is just incredibly relieved that it's finally over. He's completely done with her behavior and he has finally insisted on making her pay rent. Through all of his grief, he has become an even better father. All he wants now is to spend time with us and be there for his kids. My mom, on the other hand, has completely distanced herself from us. Unless there's a camera around, she

35:06 has used the passings of my grandparents as a Facebook publicity stunt, snapping photos of our family just to post them online and show the world how perfect we are. But her acting isn't working on the rest of the family anymore. And she has officially stopped being invited to any celebrations on my dad's side. My younger siblings still have no idea about the divorce and probably won't find out until closer to the end of the month. My dad realized I knew about the divorce on the day PP passed away because it somehow slipped out. When I confronted my mom and asked if she knew that I knew, she immediately deflected in trying to blame my dad. The argument quickly devolved and I brought up Alvin. I told

35:40 her she was crossing boundaries and making my younger brothers miserable by forcing them to live in her drama.

35:46 I flat out told her, I know you guys aren't just friends. Her response, that's how we can be.

35:51 I don't know why all of the adults are acting like this.

35:55 But shape up. Shape up.

35:57 Come on, do better.

35:58 Grow up. Grow up.

36:00 Put your big pants on. Pee-pee wouldn't want this.

36:03 Come on.

36:04 But there's a little bit left.

36:05 Then she tried to minimize it by admitting that, if anything, it was an emotional affair.

36:09 Mind you, I've seen the emails. It's a full-blown physical affair.

36:12 And she's like, but I felt very emotional after the physical part. But hearing her actually say the words emotional affair after years of lying was something else. Since that conversation, we have gotten into full-blown screaming matches. I haven't officially ended the relationship, and my dad would like me to leave the door open, but I'm still unsure.

36:31 So yeah, that's where things stand.

36:33 The marriage is over, the affair is exposed, the family cut her off, and whatever relationship I had left with her feels entirely gone. I'm just trying to take things one day at a time, protect my brothers before they find out the truth at the end of the month, and be there for my dad. If anyone has advice on how to navigate this kind of limbo with a self-absorbed parent, I'd greatly appreciate it.

36:51 Distance yourself? I don't know.

36:54 I think you're doing all the right things. You exposed the truth.

36:58 And, you know, even though everything kind of blew up, I think it was going to come out anyway.

37:04 Yeah.

37:05 It's definitely not your fault at all.

37:07 You just sped up the process. Yeah, no, don't blame yourself at all, Opie. I think you're just trying to do what's right in this situation. And I feel bad that you've been thrown all these different obstacles.

37:17 In the middle of this. Yeah.

37:18 Tough.

37:19 Of just trying to live your life and be cool.

37:21 You're like, I don't want my mom to listen to me. And she never does. And I just lost both my grandparents. And also I've just found out that my parents have been divorced. So like, I was mad about this for nothing. Yeah.

37:32 I agree with Sophie King.

37:34 Therapy.

37:34 Therapy.

37:35 Big time.

37:37 Big girl therapy. Get in there, girl.

37:39 Get all up in there.

37:41 And that's the end of the story. We're going to go on to the next one.

37:44 Hey, it's Carly, your favorite Jersey girl here. We're going to get back to the stories, but here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

37:52 My mother snooped through my things, so I planted fake evidence for her to find.

37:57 I can't imagine that backfiring at all. I, a 22 female, grew up in an extremely religious household.

38:05 My family was Mormon, and I knew from a very young age that I was not. As a teenager, I got rebellious. I drank energy drinks, tried Starbucks, and stopped reading my scriptures.

38:18 Look at you being a bad Mormon, you.

38:20 Living in sin.

38:22 Back in the ground with the golden tablets only Joseph Smith can read.

38:26 My mom thought I was becoming a classic 1960s leather jacket bad girl.

38:33 That's honestly sick.

38:34 You're becoming those girls in Greece.

38:36 Stop.

38:36 If you were, dude, help me.

38:39 What were they?

38:40 Help me make me as cool as you.

38:42 They were the lady something.

38:43 It's not the teep. No.

38:44 What were they called? What were those ladies called in Greece?

38:46 I don't remember. I'm only thinking of the outsiders.

38:49 The pink ladies.

38:50 Pink ladies.

38:52 Shout out to Frenchie.

38:53 I really wasn't.

38:54 I think the worst thing I did was steal from the store because there was a body wash I really, really wanted. I'm not saying I was a perfect angel by any means. I was definitely a little crap, but not a bad little crap. My mom started snooping through my room. I think she was convinced I was hiding stuff from her, and she wanted to find evidence. I knew because I would find her in my room when I got home from school or noticed my stuff moved around.

39:24 Being a petty teenager, I decided to give her what she was looking for. I planned a notebook with gory art, some cheap spicy sleep toys I found online, and a used pregnancy test. Not all at once, but building up to the pregnancy test. I even hide them in places she'd have to go looking for, like under the fitted sheets pressed between my mattress and the wall. or just inside the crawl space between two beams and buried at the bottom of my full trash can. Nothing really came of them, but my mom did text asking if I was hoping for a negative result like what the pregnancy tests were showing. By the way, this comes from Construction Decon, and if you want to speak on stories, you.

40:10 Know where to go.

40:11 I'm Riley.

40:12 I'm Dakota.

40:13 I'm Keon.

40:13 And we're going to read this goofily because it's funny.

40:16 If you guys have anything you'd like to add, please add it down below. As Opie says, Fast forward to a few weeks when my sister got married. We're all discussing family plans, raising kids, etc. My mom mentioned how she was able to stay one step ahead of my siblings and I. I guess my face showed it because she asked if I didn't believe her. I thought we were past the statute of limitations for my crimes, a.k.a.

40:41 My mom would be upset for a little bit, but it would eventually become a funny story to tell. And told her that I didn't think she really was a few steps ahead of me. We started going back and forth. She mentioned how we got a treat if we drank all the water in our bottle throughout the day. I told her I dumped my water out and still got the treats. She mentioned taking me to therapy to get my emotions out. I told her I didn't talk to the therapist and knew she tried to get the therapist to tell her what I talked about during the sessions.

41:13 Then she mentioned upgrading the home security because she knew I lost my V-card and kept me from sneaking out. I never snuck out and faked a phone call with my friend saying I had when I had it because I knew she was eavesdropping. This continued, and I admitted I planted things in my bedroom for her to find because I knew she was snooping in my room. She got really upset, and we haven't really talked much since.

41:39 Aww.

41:39 She thought she was being a good mom and you were tricking her.

41:42 Well, this certainly won't end up backfiring and making things worse.

41:47 You know who was Mormon?

41:49 Ellen.

41:50 I did know that.

41:50 Yep, I knew that too.

41:51 Crazy.

41:52 There's a large Mormon population in St.

41:54 Louis.

41:55 Also in Utah.

41:56 I knew a lot of Mormons and boy oh boy were they mostly very unhappy about it.

42:00 She got really upset and we haven't talked much since. I'm trying not to justify my actions as a kid because I know I could have handled things better. I think in a way I was trying to become all the things my mom thought I was because at least I fulfilled her expectations of me.

42:16 Hey, whoa, whoa.

42:17 Back up.

42:17 Am I the a-hole?

42:19 You're 22. You're not a kid.

42:20 She said these are things she did as a kid. Now she's rehashing them as an adult.

42:25 I was like, yeah.

42:28 You got math wrong.

42:29 You got to get out of that. You got to get out. Move out of your family's house. Be away from them.

42:36 So what's happening is.

42:38 She's talking out through like all her like expectations of like the things that mom thought she did. And they're just rehashing the past.

42:46 She hid pregnancy stuff in her room. She still lives with them.

42:50 That was a few. That was like her as a kid. Now she's rehashing these things a few years later.

42:56 I thought that was what she was doing now to be like, hey, you're an idiot.

43:00 No, it was like, this is what I used to do. Fast forward. Now we're having these conversations.

43:05 Leave the Mormon church.

43:06 A sparkly lady, well, trust goes both ways, mom.

43:09 She didn't trust her kids, so they didn't trust her.

43:12 Edit.

43:13 I appreciate all the responses and wanted to maybe give more insight to the type of person my mother is. For starters, no, I did not do this at my sister's wedding. I worded it poorly and meant that the wedding is what brought everyone together, and the wedding often brought up many conversations about raising kids. Some people have pointed out, that it's weird my mom wasn't confrontational about things.

43:38 My mom isn't a very confrontational person in general. She's the type of person who wanted to pretend I didn't know what she knew. I also think that because she never really had any proof I was a horrible kid like what she thought I was, that she was waiting to catch me in the act to justify the way she saw me. She really didn't say much things when she found the things.

44:01 I plan it.

44:02 That did shock me as a teenager and I'm not entirely sure why she didn't give me a big reaction. She was not trying to help me by dragging me to therapy. All she knew was a kid who wasn't religious and thought another adult could talk some sense into me. I did willingly attend therapy around 17 because I was trying to process actually leaving religion when I turned 18.

44:25 There were many times where we would argue and before I went to therapy she'd say, I hope you enjoy gossiping to your therapist about what a horrible person I am.

44:35 Why do moms do this?

44:37 You just get a little nasty sometimes.

44:40 Yikes.

44:41 I also knew from this therapist that on multiple occasions, my mom would visit or call trying to get any sort of information about what I discussed during our sessions. I think because I never kept a diary, my mom had nothing to go off of because she I never talked to her about anything going on in my life.

45:01 That's because I knew she would tell other people about anything I would say. I have very distinct memories of her gossiping about my cousins and my older sister in such a negative light. I knew she would gossip about me to other people so she doesn't get anything to gossip about me for. She'd gossip for clout. Also, you're a middle child. I can see it from a mile away.

45:23 In the middle.

45:25 Why am I so stuck in the middle now? I'm a little middle child in the middle now.

45:29 Can't you guys see this too?

45:30 But we're so stuck in the middle now.

45:31 In the end, I think a lot of her behavior boiled down to the fact that she sees herself in me. She did say that a few times, how she doesn't want me to be like her or have the same regrets she does. So she was so often harsh with how she treated me because of that. And it got out of control.

45:52 Interesting.

45:53 Yes, she was like, Often I've tried to discuss this with her. I get shut down or only hear a bunch of excuses to justify her treatment of me. Sometimes I'll get, and I'm sorry you feel that way. I don't talk to my parents often. Well, this is why you're here. This is why we're in this situation.

46:22 Hey, there it is. And there it is.

46:24 When I do, it's only about things that aren't really personal. I talk about my classes, my current internship, some projects.

46:31 That's it.

46:32 We sit in this limbo where I've moved on from many things, recognizing that my mom was struggling to raise five kids as a stay-at-home mom.

46:40 But a silent.

46:42 Understanding that I won't get an apology for most of my upbringing. I knew you had a lot of siblings. I knew it.

46:48 I knew it.

46:48 I knew it.

46:49 She's Mormon.

46:50 I'm in the middle now.

46:51 I'm a Mormon in the middle now. Mormon in the middle.

46:53 I don't think I've ever met a Mormon with just like being an only child.

46:59 Frankie Munez, Mormon in the middle.

47:01 Mormon? Is that a Jamaican? Is that just a Jamaican show?

47:04 Frankie Mormes.

47:05 Mormon in the middle.

47:07 I do feel bad for going back and forth with my mom, but at the same time, it felt a little freeing.

47:13 Maybe it was how I saw.

47:14 Her defeated for a bit, or because I've never told anyone about being so sneaky. I hope my mom can get professional help someday. and learn how to apologize for things. I know the past won't change. I just wish she would own up to her mistakes, but that would first require learning not to assume an apology meant she failed.

47:35 I don't think my mom truly failed me, as there are many skills and knowledge I have because of her. I hope she realizes that one day.

47:43 And that's the end of this story. We're going to go on to the next one.

47:46 My parents called my fiancé not the right one days before our wedding. You couldn't have said that earlier? I, 30s male, am getting married in a few days. My partner and I have been planning a small private wedding ceremony with just our witnesses, followed by a trip. The history here is important. My parents have a long record of controlling my life choices. When we previously discussed other decisions, like not wanting children, it resulted in a massive aggressive conflict initiated by my mother. I ended up having to back down just to keep the peace. Because of this, I thought our wedding plans would be different. Initially, we wanted a simple ceremony in a park, and after that, we'd immediately go on a trip, me and my future wife.

48:32 My parents immediately pushed back, pressuring us for weeks, calling, texting, and guilt tripping. To do it properly and at least have some small lunch all together. Because that's what my mother wants and it'll be a proper wedding. By the way, this comes from Jack Daniel. And if you want to spin your own stories, go to the r slash okay story time subreddit. I'm Savannah. I'm Sophia.

48:55 I'm Dakota.

48:56 And we are here to give some good advice in a little goofy way. But we don't have all your answers. We only tell you what we would do. But let us know what you would do down in the comments.

49:05 As Opie says.

49:06 When we originally planned a larger wedding, they pressured us to include family children, even though we didn't want them there initially. When we first planned a large wedding, but we scratched that because of finances. My mother cried and accused us of blocking the whole family and that she'll not go if we won't let the kids come. So we gave in to keep the peace. Then the goalposts moved again. On my 30th birthday, just days before the wedding, my parents called to say they were considering not attending because...

49:38 The plans were a farce and too short. They attacked my partner, saying she isn't the right one, and asked, what would people think of this wedding? What would we show or tell them? You are both selfish. This led to a huge fight.

49:55 I don't even know what their problem is.

49:57 What don't they like about the wedding? What's your problem?

50:00 They don't like that they're not controlling it. I guess so. That's the issue here. Mama wants a piece of that cake.

50:06 During a follow-up meeting at their house, my father screamed that we were selfish and that they deserved a nice memory of their only son's wedding. They eventually told us that our original proposal of an abroad ceremony, what's her name, with just witnesses was actually better than what we were currently planning. So the next day I wrote to them saying, fine, we will do the abroad ceremony with just witnesses. They both replied that it was a weird decision, but that they respect it.

50:39 Well, maybe they meant weird in a positive way. Maybe they're like, oh, that's weird.

50:43 We appreciate how cool you are, though.

50:46 Whatever. Could be that.

50:48 Now, just a few days before the wedding, my father has messaged me asking if we've rethought this, claiming that by doing this, I am permanently destroying our family relationships, hurting my mother, and that he.

50:59 Will never forgive me.

51:02 I mean, my God.

51:03 These people are, you know what? I think that these people are rich. I think Obi's parents are like super. Yeah, didn't you hear the voice I was using?

51:10 I did. That means they're rich.

51:12 Yeah.

51:13 They're rich.

51:13 They're risky.

51:14 Ooh, they're very rich.

51:15 I think these people are super rich. And maybe it said that and I missed that. And I think that everything has to go according to their thoughts and their plans. And they've never had anyone tell them no before.

51:30 Which is just so annoying.

51:32 Like, no one gets everything they want, especially when it's not your wedding, you're not getting married, you're not planning it. Like, I'm happy to take your, you know, what is it? I'm happy to take your ideas into consideration, but I'm not going to choose every single thing that everyone likes ever.

51:50 Yeah, you just, every time they give you an idea, you go, oh, I'll consider that. Yeah, like, oh, I'm considering. I have decided not to invite them to the ceremony.

52:00 I want to be surrounded by love and support, not by people who are openly critical of my partner and who use forgiveness as a weapon to control my choices. I know this will cause a massive blow up once they find out, and I'm terrified of the fallout, including threats of being disinherited. Edit, it was a threat they used in the past, and they said if they do the disinheritance... It's mainly meant as a total complete cutoff of a relationship between them and me and cutting me out of their life.

52:31 Oh, there's a little bit left.

52:33 Oh, boy.

52:33 What are you doing? I'm going and enjoying my wedding without my parents.

52:38 Do you think that she's the a-hole?

52:40 OP?

52:41 OP's a guy. Sorry, do you think that he's the a-hole?

52:46 No.

52:47 No, how could you be the a-hole for trying to throw the wedding that you want to throw?

52:51 It sounds like these people, his parents, had a terrible wedding. And now they're just trying to live it vicariously through someone else's.

52:59 I think they're trying to put on a face and impress people. I think that's what they're trying to do. Rather than being like, oh, we had a horrible wedding. We got to make it up with our child. I think they are looking to have it a specific way. To be like, what are the guests going to think? What are other family members going to think about this?

53:16 Everyone needs to know that my son is rich. My gut tells me I'm doing the right thing. But the guilt is suffocating me. How do you handle the, you're destroying the family, guilt tripping.

53:27 When it's days away from the wedding?

53:29 How do I stand my ground without getting sucked into a circular argument with people who clearly don't care about logic, only about control? Any advice on how to survive the aftermath if they explode when they realize the wedding happened without them?

53:42 Like this.

53:45 Rupture your eardrums.

53:47 Or like this. Or like this.

53:49 Oh, wait.

53:52 Or like this.

53:55 Dang, I should have been doing color commentary that whole time for all of our listeners.

54:00 For anyone who's just listening, they were doing captivating mime performances, various things like plugging your ears, being lassoed away, demurely denying someone's presence in front of you.

54:13 And there you have it, folks. And zipping your mouth. And zipping your mouth. And throwing away the key.

54:17 We did forget that. Why don't you forget that one? Was it not memorable? What's wrong with me? It was the last one, so I didn't think about it.

54:23 I had a lot going on.

54:25 I don't know.

54:25 I just do your own thing.

54:27 I feel like that's just, that's what's going to make you happy in the end. Yeah. You're going to regret it if you don't. You know, and screw them. They should have been more, should have.

54:35 Wanted to come. Yeah.

54:36 To add a bit more detail, my parents, mother mainly, had issues with all of my former girlfriends. At one point, they refused to see my former girlfriend for many years simply because she wasn't allowed to visit their home with me.

54:48 Why?

54:48 Why?

54:49 I'm also suffering anticipation, anxiety, and panic attacks at work because I have trouble handling this much stress, which I disclosed to them at some point and told them it's because of their behavior.

54:59 And let me guess, they went, I don't believe that.

55:02 They went, they said, Sophia plugs her ears vigorously.

55:06 It's probably your nagging girlfriend that's making you all stressed out. Your girlfriend is trying to rip our family apart.

55:13 Yeah, how could you let this happen, darling?

55:15 Don't listen to her.

55:16 She's evil. Ugh.

55:18 Scoff, scoff.

55:19 She's the devil.

55:21 That's the end of the story.

55:22 Oh, that was it by the way.

55:23 Hmm.

55:25 Uh, yeah. So I don't know. I, I truthfully going low contact, I believe is going to help you and yeah.

55:32 And your new wife to be.

55:35 Yes.

55:35 I think it's going to make you feel lighter and not heavier.

55:39 And then you'll float off into the air. Hmm.

55:44 Mother's again the last story and we got another one coming right up. My mother blamed me for ruining her vacation because I called her house a mess.

55:53 Well, maybe your house shouldn't have been so messy.

55:56 Trigger warning animal neglect?

55:58 No.

55:59 Stop.

55:59 No.

56:01 Oh, God.

56:02 I am a 25-year-old guy living about 10 minutes from my childhood home where my mom now lives alone. She has two dogs with her. One is an old family dog that's turning 15. The other is a puppy that's about eight months old. For context, they're in an apartment. These are small dogs and there's plenty of space for both. Regardless, I moved out three years ago to live with my partner.

56:25 We live in a pretty small apartment. That's just a bedroom and a kitchen pretty much. So sometimes if my mom had to go somewhere or whatever, I would drop by there to babysit them after my shift. I work only night shifts. This month, She was supposed to go on vacation to a beach abroad. I agreed to come a few times to feed and walk the dogs, no problem.

56:47 She told me they've been having a bit of an ant issue recently, but that it's not too bad.

56:52 And I said, that was okay.

56:54 By the way, this comes from adorablead1615. And if you want to spend your own story, Go to the r slash okay story time subreddit. I'm Savannah.

57:02 I'm Sophia.

57:02 I'm Keon.

57:03 We're here to give you some good advice. But we don't have all your answers. We'd only tell you what we would do. But you should let us know what you would do right now in the comments.

57:12 Go.

57:13 As Hopi says, so first day of her being abroad, I come to walk them and everything is fine. I pour them some food and water and leave. I come back later in the day. I noticed that they haven't been eating or drinking at all. We live in Europe and there's a huge heat wave going on right now. So I'm thinking this is not good. I pick up the food containers from which they eat and pour the stuff down the toilet so I can replace it.

57:35 Why down the toilet? Why not just in the trash? Why are you going to clog the pipes? That's weird.

57:42 Along with the food fell something that I thought was dirt. Just this huge black mass of speckles.

57:49 Was that ants?

57:50 Yeah. I knew this was coming.

57:53 They left food out. And then I noticed that it was moving. It was ants, like more ants than I've ever seen together in my life. Had to be in the hundreds. It's no wonder they weren't eating. I try to get them to eat and drink, but they just do not want to.

58:08 Oh, no.

58:09 Yeah, unfortunately, when you have ants, you cannot leave. I've been there.

58:14 And I've also had dogs staying when I was dealing with this problem. You cannot leave any food out. You have to make sure they eat it, and then you remove the food.

58:24 So wait, I feel like you could just like put them in a like a different bowl for them to eat.

58:29 I think they would eat if it was in a different bowl. Glitter Corpses Spook Teak says I have PTSD around ants. Yes, that's a legit thing.

58:37 I know it's a legit thing because I have it. I come back the next day and try pouring them some water and food before we take a walk, hoping they would eat it quickly.

58:48 They don't want to.

58:49 I pour them some food and we go out for about 30 minutes. We come back and the little ones start eating. The little ones started eating. I'm like, why did you stop doing this? Oh, wait.

59:00 OP keeps leaving food unattended.

59:03 Hold on. And as soon as she does, a bunch of ants just disperse from under the food.

59:07 Oh.

59:08 Like, OP, this is your fault.

59:09 Oh.

59:10 Just take the dogs just take the dog food outside have them eat it yeah that's.

59:15 What I thought I don't understand I know there's a heat wave though so maybe it's too hot but like.

59:20 After the first I mean she took him out for a walk anyway after the first ant you know infestation on the food you should not have made this mistake twice And you certainly cannot make it a third time. Do not leave food unattended.

59:36 She then pees herself, and the older one starts licking it. Mind you, he hasn't been or wanted to drink for two days now.

59:44 Why are we not, like, what's going on? Duchess Cassandra says, OMG, this opiate's an idiot, though.

59:50 A little bit, yeah. This is how I would approach this.

59:54 What I'm doing here, if I don't have the experience that I personally have with ants.

59:59 I see the ants.

1:00:00 Are all on the food.

1:00:01 I call the people I'm looking, you know, the dog, the people, the owners. And I say, hey, just out of experience, the dogs aren't eating.

1:00:10 They're not drinking. What do you think I should do?

1:00:12 Why was that not the first thought? I would immediately go get ant traps or like make one or something.

1:00:19 Ant traps.

1:00:19 That's what I'm doing. Or getting at least like sprayed.

1:00:22 Yes.

1:00:23 Like you gotta do something.

1:00:24 It's just absolutely wild to me that seemingly OP has not contacted the owner, saying your dogs haven't eaten or drank in two days.

1:00:32 Right?

1:00:34 I don't understand. And she's throwing the food into the toilet. Yeah.

1:00:39 Stop. I lose my crap.

1:00:42 I call my mother yelling, asking her how the F did she think it was a good idea to leave two dogs in an infested house. It's not infested.

1:00:51 You're just dumb. Hmm. How she did not plan this at all.

1:00:55 And if it was like this, she could have went to vacation and we could have had them at one of those dog sitting places while an exterminator could have taken care of the ants. Three birds, one stone. You dumb. You dumb. So she came back after being away for two days. The whole vacation was supposed to be a week.

1:01:14 And now she is pissed at me for not being able to do her this one solid.

1:01:18 I agree.

1:01:19 And how she is so tired all the time and deserved a vacation. I told her she did deserve a vacation, but we should have organized accordingly and not have ants crawling around in their food. I'm worried that the ants maybe bit their mouths or something like that.

1:01:33 I have no idea. I am just mad.

1:01:36 My mother-in-law says I was out of line, but I don't know. Am I the a-hole? Like, yeah. I don't know.

1:01:42 Just because I have experiences with ants. Maybe OP has no idea how to take care of these ants. And it's not your job to... get all of the ant stuff.

1:01:51 For your mom, but your mom did warn you that there were ants and like rule number one with ants is don't leave food out.

1:01:58 Yeah.

1:01:59 So like a little bit. Yes.

1:02:00 But I understand where your frustration is coming from.

1:02:03 I don't think you're the a-hole in a sense. I think you're more just like... Clueless?

1:02:08 Yeah, I'll give you that. I'll give you clueless. Yeah, because it's not.

1:02:12 Like you meant for this to happen or were planning this. You were trying to avoid it. You tried to take care of the dogs the best you could, but then it's like, oh God, what is happening here? I don't think you're the a-hole. I think you're just uninformed about what to do.

1:02:26 And don't know how to... figure things out. Yeah. Which kind of concerning, but I don't know.

1:02:33 I do think, I guess I will amend part of my statement because I think that if you literally are so overwhelmed that you do not know how, and you don't know how to figure these things out.

1:02:42 Yes.

1:02:43 Call the original owners, like call your mom back because you don't want, you know, the dogs to pass away because you don't want to.

1:02:49 Take care of them.

1:02:50 Yeah.

1:02:50 I just feel so bad for the dogs that like, they don't know what to do. They're just getting like, they're just eating ants.

1:02:56 Ugh.

1:02:57 Whatever that made me upset. Yeah.

1:03:00 Susie says ants happen so fast. We treat for ants and it doesn't matter. They're relentless.

1:03:04 I know.

1:03:04 Yeah.

1:03:05 I was dealing with ants for two years and I tried everything. I mean, people in chat know I was trying the diatomaceous earth. I was trying raid. I was trying like ant baits and nothing worked until, and my landlord like was saying that she wouldn't spray because she didn't like, it's bad for the environment.

1:03:23 She's like, I'm not spraying. I don't want to spray.

1:03:25 And I literally had to like beg her, The ants will not stop. Please spray outside the house. And she ended up doing that. And that was the only thing that's actually gotten rid of the ants. And even then, like they still come not in the waves that they were, but like they still come occasionally when it gets hot.

1:03:42 Yeah.

1:03:44 And that's the end of the story. We're going to go on to the next one. Hey, it's Angie, your favorite fashion host here. We're going to get back to the stories, but here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

1:03:55 My mother-in-law played the victim for years, so I matched her energy.

1:03:58 Ooh, queen, you be a bee, I'mma be a bee.

1:04:01 To start, I will tell you that I am fully aware I tend to react first and think later. I also need to point out that my mother-in-law has a habit of taking anything you say or text and twisting it into what she thinks you meant, even when you clearly explain yourself. It's also important to point out that my husband has tried to keep the peace, but even God couldn't open her eyes.

1:04:24 So he tends to.

1:04:25 Back away from the entire situation. Which is fine with me.

1:04:29 It's never caused problems in our marriage. My mother-in-law and I have had our disagreements.

1:04:34 Over the years.

1:04:35 One incident that caused a permanent wedge happened after my husband and I got married. I have a son from my first marriage. One day, we were at her house, and my brother-in-law and her kids were there as well. As we were leaving, she wanted a picture with her grandkids, so my son and my two nephews took a picture with her.

1:04:52 Then I heard her say, Okay, now one with just my real grandkids. What the F?

1:04:58 By the way, this comes from LMXTCTU, and if you want to spit your own stories, go to the r slash ok story time subreddit.

1:05:04 I'm Sophia. I'm Savannah.

1:05:07 I'm Dakota.

1:05:08 And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we don't have all the answers. We only know what we do. So let us know what you would do in the comments. And OP says, So, I grabbed my son, pulled my husband aside, and said, let's go. I was incredibly hurt, but even more angry. I never said anything to her, but I no longer made a point of bringing my son around. He was only seven at the time and I prefer to keep things positive for him. I didn't even tell my husband what happened. Fast forward to 2021 and my son's wedding. He invited my mother-in-law and her husband number three to the wedding. He did not invite my brother-in-law or his family because they were not active in his life. mainly because my husband and his brother

1:05:50 are not on speaking terms. My son did ask my husband if he wanted his brother there, and my husband said, not really, but it's your wedding, and I respect your.

1:05:59 Choice if you do.

1:06:00 My mother-in-law called me, flipping out because brother-in-law wasn't invited. She told us we needed to invite him. He explained that we weren't paying for the wedding and that it wasn't our decision. She threw a fit. We told her to take it up with my son. That was strike one. In 2023, we invited her here for Thanksgiving. They canceled that day. The day of.

1:06:24 Dang.

1:06:25 All that food was wasted.

1:06:26 I cooked for seven people and only had three at the table. I decided I was done planning anything that included her, her husband, or their friends.

1:06:35 Strike two.

1:06:36 I should also mention that my mother-in-law went through a serious health issue a while back. After all her treatments and tests, she is thankfully recovered. However, because of what she went through, she still has some ongoing challenges that make long-distance travel stressful for her. I am sympathetic to that, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. With that said, on to my breakdown. In October 2025, I was trying to figure out Thanksgiving plans. I mentioned to my mother-in-law that we would probably be going to my mom's house.

1:07:08 She lives two hours away, and we usually drive there and back on the same day. I told my mother-in-law she was welcome to join us if she decided not to go to her daughter-in-law's house. Keep in mind that her in-laws live farther away from her than I do, and about the same distance from her as my mom.

1:07:23 She told me she would let me know. I told her nothing was set in stone. At the last minute, we decided to have our floors redone the weekend after Thanksgiving... So I told my mother-in-law we definitely planned on going to my mom. She started asking if we would hit traffic, why my mom and son couldn't come to my house instead, etc.

1:07:42 I explained about the floors and told her she could either come to my house or meet us halfway and ride with us. She said she would work it out. She eventually said she would come and ask me to find out what she could bring. I told her I would ask my mom. At that point, I thought the plan was set. Since the election, I had posted on Facebook about my unhappiness with a current candidate. At one point, I posted that if anyone in my family voted for a specific person, I wonder who that is. I didn't want to spend the holidays with them. Sure, that may have been extreme, but I know my limits. I mean, that's fair.

1:08:16 Yes.

1:08:17 My mother-in-law's husband removed me as a friend.

1:08:20 Whatever.

1:08:21 A few days later, I received a birthday card from them. It said, you're a year older. Underneath in his handwriting, he had written, big deal.

1:08:30 Ew.

1:08:31 Why even say anything if you're just going to be so rude and on my birthday? You're a year older. Happy birthday.

1:08:36 Big deal.

1:08:37 Big whoop.

1:08:38 Yes, I'm petty.

1:08:39 So I sent him a text that said, I received my card. I will be sure to show my appreciation come Christmas.

1:08:45 Have a day.

1:08:45 Huh?

1:08:46 I love that.

1:08:47 Have a day.

1:08:48 OP is doing the same.

1:08:49 Yeah.

1:08:51 Giving the same energy back.

1:08:52 Have a day. I'm going to start saying that. All right. Have a day. What type of day?

1:08:58 Whatever you think you deserve.

1:09:00 A week before thanksgiving my mother-in-law texted me and said she wasn't coming to my mom's because it was too far to drive she said she was going to stay home alone and make a turkey i asked her why she makes plans she doesn't intend to keep her reason wasn't the issue the issue was that she knows how far away my mom lives She knows her limitations and people make arrangements around.

1:09:21 Her only for her to cancel. She immediately played the victim saying, I didn't understand.

1:09:27 How hard things were for her and that I was selfish and needed to show more compassion.

1:09:35 Blah, blah, blah, your needs.

1:09:37 I hate you.

1:09:39 Again, I told her I understood the issue. I think Opie should just respond to everything with, yes, I understand. Yes, that's so sad.

1:09:46 I understand.

1:09:47 This is truly devastating.

1:09:48 I'm so sorry.

1:09:49 I understand. Have day.

1:09:51 Have a day.

1:09:52 Thank you. Have a day.

1:09:53 That wasn't what I was upset about. She told me we were obviously never going to see eye to eye.

1:09:58 Fine.

1:09:59 Whatever.

1:10:00 Thanksgiving rolled around and my mother-in-law contacted my husband to tell him that she had lied to her husband and told him she was meeting us halfway for lunch so she wouldn't have to go with him to his family's gathering. Your mother-in-law just doesn't like hanging out with anybody.

1:10:15 Yeah, she's like, I want to be alone.

1:10:16 I want to be alone.

1:10:17 Get away from me.

1:10:18 And also, if you leave me alone, I'm going to say, why did you do that? Normally, I would have rolled my eyes and left it alone. But my hormones and perimenopause took over, and the petty princess came out. When we got home, I posted on Facebook. His kids are still friends with me on Facebook. It was nice spending time with my mom, husband, son, and grandson today. Hopefully, we'll see other family members at Christmas. The week after Thanksgiving, I was writing our Christmas cards. I sent one to her and another to her husband. Inside his card, I wrote, I wanted to return your kindness, so for your gift this year, I decided to donate $ 5 to several charities in your name. I listed four charities that were complete

1:11:02 opposites of his core values and belief. I signed it, have the holiday you deserve. I also used his business email address for each donation. Well, that was the cherry on top. My mother-in-law texted me saying she got his card and threw it away. She said he had seen the donation emails and was furious.

1:11:20 I replied, I match energy. Yes, let's use charities. To be petty. Yes, I'll give to charity and not you.

1:11:30 See how you like it.

1:11:31 OP, do you give to charity other times? Nope, only for pettiness. Only for pettiness? Okay.

1:11:37 She then told me he doesn't vote. I said, so he's mad about me for a comment I made about people who vote?

1:11:43 Okay.

1:11:44 She told me I needed help because I was so vindictive. Then she said, I understand why your son doesn't want to spend time with you. You're the reason I didn't get to see him grow up. You are a terrible mother.

1:11:55 Whoa.

1:11:55 You literally said he wasn't your real grandchild.

1:11:58 And now a line has been crossed.

1:12:00 Oh, wait.

1:12:01 Guys.

1:12:01 What? That's strike three. Oh.

1:12:05 That's strike three. Strike three.

1:12:06 She's out of here.

1:12:07 She's out. Get her out.

1:12:10 Oh, my goodness.

1:12:11 We can kick her out of the villa. Oh, we can be done. I was just waiting for that strike three like 10 years later.

1:12:16 Ugh.

1:12:17 At that point, every kind word left my vocabulary. I told her, first of all, you're the reason you didn't get to see him grow up, reminded her about the photo incident, which she denied and told me I was lying and accused me of projecting.

1:12:29 I then told her no longer.

1:12:32 Include me, my son or my grandson, in anything family related. As far as I was concerned, we were non-existent to her from that point forward. I also told her I would never tell her son to distance himself from her because that's not who I am. However, I would never again put myself in her presence because I believed she was toxic. I told her not to contact me or my son again. I concluded by saying I know I wasn't the mother of the year, and I've spent the last 15 years working on my relationship with my son.

1:13:03 However, the last person I need or want an opinion from is a so-called Christian who committed adultery but lectures others about right and wrong. Throw your stones somewhere else. Whoa!

1:13:18 Mic drop i mean stone drop drop your stones baby oh my burn her at the stake you know what burn her at the stake might as well put her in a stake and burn her get her medium rare i want her in a stake and i want to eat it i want it now that was the final strike do you have any final thoughts burn her at the stake Cause she made a big mistake.

1:13:44 Oh yeah.

1:13:44 Yeah.

1:13:44 Yeah.

1:13:45 I just don't like how this was handled at all.

1:13:47 And she just doesn't, the mom really doesn't understand that there are consequences to actions, especially when you're not like intentionally rude.

1:13:57 Yeah.

1:13:57 So yeah, I'm, I'm not going to let my child see you anymore. Well, I mean, I guess he's not a child. He doesn't want to.

1:14:03 See them though.

1:14:03 Yeah, exactly.

1:14:04 So it's like, he's not really made any effort to reach out to grandma. So yeah. And, It's not like she's made an effort to reach out to him either. She actively didn't see him as her grandchild. Since he was seven.

1:14:16 Like, bye. Bye. I don't need it.

1:14:19 Bye-bye.

1:14:20 But we got a little bit left.

1:14:22 She then called my husband and told him her version of what she believed I had said. When he got home, I showed him the actual text messages. I told him he could spend Christmas with her or any other holiday if he wanted, but I would not be attending. He said he would just visit her at work or meet up with her separately. He knows I am capable of being civil in places I do not want to be, but he hates conflict and would rather avoid it. Now, it's been several months that I've started hormone replacement therapy.

1:14:50 Looking back, I'm wondering if I overreacted. I should also mention that my mother-in-law has only seen my grandson once when he was five months old. He turns four years old this month.

1:15:02 Yeah.

1:15:03 I mean, it's not even your decision whether or not she sees your grandson. It's your son's decision.

1:15:08 I agree. And she's just repeating the same pattern, so she's never going to change. So just cut it off now while it's still, you know, not a thing. Like, just be done with it. Who cares? She wants to complain.

1:15:20 Go complain. Complain to someone who cares, which is not me.

1:15:25 No, sir.

1:15:27 No, sirree. Ooh.

1:15:28 But that's the end of that story.